For Better or Worse
by Tess84
Summary: Sequel to "Hearts in Pain", you might want to read that one first. The happily ever after part of the fairytale. Because nothing bad could possibly happen now... right? I guess you'll have to read to find out!
1. 1 Happy Birthday

**AN: I honestly had no intention of writing this when I finished **_**Hearts in Pain**_** – that was the reason I wrote an epilogue, after all. But when I read the reviews, and several of you said how bad it was that I wasn't doing a sequel, this story just sort of wormed its way into my head, completely without my approval! And since I know how I get when I have a story in my head, I figured I might as well give in and write it! So, here it is. The happily ever after part of the fairytale. Because nothing bad could happen now, right? I guess you'll have to read to find out…**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I didn't get them for Christmas. So they're still not mine…**

**1 – Happy Birthday**

**Bella**

I got two glasses from the cupboard, opened the fridge and poured orange juice into them. After putting the full glasses down on the counter in front of me, I put a couple of slices of bread into the toaster. I got the butter and jam out of the fridge as well, and turned to put them down on the kitchen table.

Edward was staring at me. No, not staring, more like… gazing. I couldn't read the expression in his eyes. I frowned at him.

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

"Nothing." He shook his head, the same odd expression still in place on his face.

I shrugged, turning away from him again. I took the two glasses of orange juice and put them down on the table as well. He was still looking at me like that.

"You're starting to creep me out," I told him, but he just smiled that sort of wistful smile at me.

A 'pop' told me that the toast was done, and I put the slices of bread on a plate before I sat down at the table opposite Edward. Who was _still_ staring at me!

"OK, stop that!" I complained, focusing on the toast in front of me as I put some butter and strawberry jam on the slices.

"Sorry," he mumbled, getting up and walking around the table, sitting down next to me. He pulled me into his lap and held me close, his right hand coming to rest on my stomach. "I'm just trying to get used to the idea."

I had to smile at that. I placed my hand on top of his. Of course, there was nothing to feel. Not yet. It was much too early for that.

"I know what you mean," I agreed.

"I'm not sure you do," he objected, and I raised an eyebrow at him over my shoulder. When he saw my expression, he hurried to continue, "I just mean that you've done this once before. It's all new to me."

"I guess you're right, in a way," I admitted. "But I haven't done it like this before, with you. So it's sort of new to me too."

I leaned back against him, and he placed a kiss on my hair, his arms wrapping tighter around me.

"Happy Birthday, daddy!"

Lily's voice brought us out of our little 'moment'. She had abandoned the cartoon she had been watching in the living room and bounded into the kitchen.

"Thank you, princess." Edward unwrapped one arm from around my waist and hugged her.

I slipped out of his lap, and Lily quickly took my place.

"I made you a present at school, but you can't have it until tonight," she announced.

"Oh," Edward's eyes narrowed as he looked down on her. "And why is that?"

"Because you can't have it until the party," she explained.

"Hmm…" Edward frowned. "What if I want it now?"

"Nuh-uh." Lily shook her head.

"Do I have to tickle you?" he asked in a menacing voice, and I saw Lily shrink back a little at the thought.

"Oh, no," I interrupted. "You will not torture our daughter into giving you her present early."

"Spoil sport," Edward muttered, but he released his grip on Lily and she quickly jumped down from his lap.

"Mom, I'm hungry!" she declared.

"Pancakes?" I suggested, and a smile spread on her face. Pancakes and waffles were still reserved for weekends, and Lily absolutely loved both.

"I've got it," Edward said quickly, getting up from the chair he had been sitting in.

"No, that's OK." I bent down to retrieve the frying pan I needed from the cupboard next to the stove, and when I stood back up, Edward was right beside me, taking it from my hands.

"I said I've got it," he repeated. "Sit!"

I knew there was no point in arguing with him, so I only glared a little as I sat down in the chair he had just vacated. Lily had already returned to the TV in the living room.

"I hope this isn't you already being overprotective," I said quietly, not wanting Lily to overhear.

"I can't make pancakes for my daughter?" he asked innocently. I almost believed him.

"Nice try," I replied. "But I hope you get this out of your system soon, because I will not be treated with kiddie gloves for the next eight months."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he assured me, placing a kiss on my forehead.

I sighed. I knew I hadn't won this battle by far. But there wasn't much I could do about that now. I only hoped he would be able to, if not control then at least hide his overprotective tendencies from me, or I might just go mad before this kid finally got here.

I watched as he started preparing the batter for the pancakes. He looked up from the bowl to glance into the living room where Lily was completely engulfed in the cartoon on the screen in front of her.

"You should probably see a doctor, though, right?" he said, his voice as quiet as mine had been a moment earlier. We hadn't actually talked about telling Lily yet, but he seemed to understand that I wanted to wait a little. "To make sure, I mean. And to check that everything's OK."

"I'll call first thing Monday morning," I assured him, and he nodded.

"Good."

I nibbled on my toast and smiled at his back as he focused back on the task in front of him.

I knew that he would always regret not being around when Lily was born. I would always regret that as well, always feel a pinch of sadness whenever I thought of how much time he had missed with her. But this new baby would mean that he at least got that experience once, and, hopefully, that would lessen his regret at least a little. And he so deserved that.

I swallowed the last of the toast and reluctantly got up from the table. It was a big day, after all, and I had a lot to do. Some things less pleasant than others.

"Well, I'm off for a few hours in hell," I said regretfully.

I had agreed to go shopping with Alice today, after she had begged me for three days straight to let her pick out an outfit for me to wear to hers and Edward's birthday party tonight. Not the brightest decision I'd ever made. It was funny how I always remembered how much I dreaded shopping with Alice when it was already too late…

"Right, shopping with Alice." Edward chuckled, and I slapped him on the shoulder.

"If you're not nice, I'll give you a taste of what's in store for you over the next couple of months," I threatened. "Do not underestimate my hormones! Just ask Charlie."

He only laughed harder at that. I decided to ignore him and went back upstairs to shower and get dressed.

When I got back downstairs fifteen minutes later, Edward and Lily were sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakes.

"Yum." I stole a piece from Edward's plate on my way to the front door. "I'll probably have lunch with Alice at the mall, but I should be back by two at the latest. If I'm not, feel free to send out a search party. And try not to wreck the house while I'm gone, OK?"

"We will do our very best," Edward promised with a grin. "And don't let Alice tire you out, OK!"

"Don't worry, I won't." I waved at the two of them before closing the front door behind me.

I pressed the button to unlock my car, and the BMW blinked at me in a welcoming way. Edward had convinced me to let him buy me a new car soon after we had gotten engaged a year and a half ago; he hadn't had to argue very much, since I had been more than happy to trade in the Accord. How he had gotten me to agree to let him buy me a _BMW_, however, I still wasn't completely sure. I hadn't even dared ask how much it had cost him. But I loved the car. Not in the way that a guy would, probably, but it was fast and beautiful and smelled nice. To me, that was enough.

I pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Northgate Mall, where I was meeting Alice. Again, I cursed my lack of ability to say no to her. You'd really think I'd have gotten used to her pleading puppy eyes and persuasive voice by now, but every time she used them on me, I caved. This time, she had also pointed out that it was her birthday, and I definitely hadn't been able to say no after that.

It was only a little after ten when I pulled into the parking lot at the mall, and since it had just opened there weren't very many cars there. I quickly spotted Alice's Mini and parked next to it. The car was empty, however, so I got out of the BMW and headed in the direction of the mall. I soon spotted Alice leaning against the wall next to the entrance to Macy's, her face turned up to the sky and her eyes closed. She was enjoying one of the first really nice summer days Seattle had had this year.

"Is there any way I can get you to let me off the hook?" I asked when I got within hearing distance. She opened her eyes and met mine with a slightly evil smile. She enjoyed torturing me like this, I was sure of it. "You can buy whatever you want, I'll wear it, I promise. But do I have to go shopping with you?"

She eyed me for a moment, and I self consciously looked down at the t-shirt and jeans I had thrown on before leaving the house. I thought they looked fine, but as always, she would find something to complain about.

"No, yes, and for the love of Gucci, what are you wearing?" She wrinkled her nose at me.

"There's nothing wrong with my clothes," I objected.

"And the fact that you just said that only proves that you _need_ me," she declared, looping her arm with mine and pulling me through the doors with her. I groaned a little but let her tow me along. There was no point in trying to get away, after all. Might as well go happily – well, not really happily, more like… reluctantly – and hope that the torture would be over soon.

"Happy Birthday, by the way," I said when we had gotten inside, squeezing her arm.

"Thank you," she replied, squeezing back.

On our way to the part of the store where the formal wear was, we passed the baby department, and I couldn't help but smile when I saw the tiny clothes. A rush of warmth spread through my entire body, and suddenly, the fact that Alice would no doubt spend hours making me try on every possible outfit in the store no longer bothered me. I had a very special happy place to go to today, one where even Alice's insane shopping couldn't touch me.

Alice quickly picked out a handful of clothes for me to try on and all but shoved me into the fitting rooms. I obediently put on outfit after outfit and twirled around in front of her so that she could get a look at me from every angle. She deemed them all as 'not quite the thing' she was looking for, and dragged me off to JC Penney instead. There, I tried on even more clothes and finally – after more than two hours – she nodded in a satisfied way when I emerged from the fitting room.

"That's the one," she declared before I had even spun around. I had to hand it to her; Alice had an eye for fashion.

I looked down at the clothes I was wearing. Alice hadn't gone as over the top as I had feared she would, based on previous experience. I had on a knee-length denim skirt and an off-white top with a floral pattern on it. Considering the fact that I usually felt like an overdressed Barbie whenever Alice picked out something for me to wear, this was definitely preferable.

"It's nice," I concluded, nodding in approval. "But I'm surprised; I thought you would take advantage of my temporary weakness."

"Give me a little credit, Bella," Alice replied in a disappointed voice. "It's not like I enjoy making you wear things you feel uncomfortable in, you know."

"Could have fooled me," I mumbled under my breath, too quietly for her to hear, as I went back into the fitting room to change back into my own clothes.

"Want to grab some lunch before heading back?" Alice wondered through the door.

"Sure."

We went to Azteka for Mexican food, and after we had eaten, I managed to talk Alice out of dragging me to look for shoes that matched my new outfit.

"Fine," she grudgingly gave in. "I suppose you can wear your white sandals."

"Thank you," I gratefully squeezed her shoulders, a little amazed that I had actually succeeded.

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled. "I'll see you later tonight."

She gave me a kiss on the cheek before dancing away towards Victoria's Secret. She had said something about getting a 'special' outfit for tonight, and I was definitely not interested in accompanying her on that particular mission. I did not need that mental image.

I walked back in the direction we had come from earlier today, towards the parking lot through Macy's. When I passed the baby department, I couldn't help but stop for a moment. I fingered a tiny, blue onesie with a pattern of guitars on it, and an image of a beautiful baby boy with soft, brown hair and sparklingly green eyes flashed across my mind.

I let the onesie go with a sigh; it was way too early to start shopping for clothes. I hadn't even been to see a doctor yet, for heaven's sake. For all I knew, the home test could be wrong. But still…

I left the mall and drove towards home. On the way, I stopped and picked up the cake I had ordered for tonight's party. We were having it at our house and Carlisle, Esme, Charlie and Sue were coming down and staying over until tomorrow.

Edward and Charlie's relationship had gotten much better in the past two years. They even went fishing together every now and then when we were up in Forks. And that was probably one of the highest praises you could get in my father's book.

I knew that our families would be thrilled by our news.

_Too soon, too soon,_ a little voice inside me chanted. I knew that. We would wait a while before revealing it, but I really wanted to tell them.

When I got back to the house, I saw that our guests had already arrived. Edward had moved the Volvo into the garage and Carlisle's Mercedes was now parked in the spot it had occupied. I pulled up next to it and turned the engine off.

"Hi!"

I turned at the sound to see Sue coming out the front door, Esme a few steps behind her.

"Hi!" I went to meet them, hugging them both tightly.

"I see that you survived the shopping with Alice," Esme joked.

"Just barely," I joked back. "When Alice is on a mission…"

"Don't I know it." Esme nodded in an understanding way.

"I am glad it's over, though," I admitted, going back to the car to get the cake and the bag with my clothes.

"That is the normal response when you're finally released from Alice's shopping-crazy clutches," Edward remarked smilingly, coming out the door as well. "Hey."

"Hey." I willingly let him pull me into a hug.

Esme took the box with the cake from my hand and she and Sue went back inside, giving us a moment of privacy.

"Are you going to welcome me like this every time I leave for a couple of hours?" I wondered teasingly. "I like it."

"Go ahead and tease," he mumbled against my hair. "I won't deny it, I missed you."

His words tugged at my heart, and I realized that I had missed him too. I always did when we were apart, no matter for how insignificant an amount of time. I never realized just how much until we were together again.

"I missed you too," I murmured back, wrapping my arms a little tighter around him.

"I'm glad." He placed a kiss on my temple and then pulled away. "Now, we have guests to entertain."

"Of course."

He took my hand, and we went into the house together.

Charlie and Carlisle had already claimed the couch in the living room, the TV on to some baseball game. Lily was curled up in one of the armchairs, seemingly watching the game with much interest. I briefly wondered if my father's interest in sports had skipped a generation and gone straight to my daughter. Esme was just closing the fridge after having put the cake away, and Sue was leaning against the kitchen counter. They were apparently discussing Seth, who had just come home for the summer from college.

"Hey dad, Carlisle," I called in the direction of the living room.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie replied without looking up from the game.

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle looked up at me and smiled.

One out of two wasn't bad.

"I'll just go put this away," I said, turning to Edward. I climbed the stairs and went into our bedroom, where I pulled the skirt and top from the bag and hung them over the back of the rocking chair; Alice would never forgive me if I ruined her perfect outfit by showing up at the party in wrinkled clothes.

I was about to leave when I spotted the plastic stick that was still lying on the nightstand on Edward's side of the bed. I picked it up and smiled. We had gotten a little… carried away after Edward had opened his 'present'. The memory of his fervent kisses and what had followed them almost made me blush.

I put the test back in the box and put the box in the drawer in my nightstand before leaving the room. It would be nice to keep it, as a memory.

**Edward **

It was silly, I knew. But the moment Bella left the house, my entire body seemed to be aware that she was no longer close. She would just be gone for a few hours, this feeling was completely pointless. But also very there. I always felt a twinge of loss whenever we weren't together, but this was a lot worse than usual. Ten times stronger.

I sighed.

"Hey dad, can I play on the trampoline?" Lily's voice brought me out of my musings and I silently thanked her for the distraction.

"Sure, princess," I replied. "Go on out, I'll be there in a moment."

Lily happily skipped off out the French doors to the garden. I got up, rinsed off the plates and glasses and put them in the dishwasher before I followed her into the back yard. She wasn't allowed to be on the trampoline without supervision, and when she spotted me, she quickly climbed through the opening in the net.

I had tried the trampoline a few times, and couldn't quite comprehend the allure of jumping on it, but then again, I wasn't eight years old. Lily always had a blast.

I kept an eye on her as she jumped, going a little higher with every bounce. In the meantime, my mind was free to wander.

I replayed the moment this morning in my head, when I had ripped the paper off the box with the positive pregnancy test. A smile spread automatically on my face.

It had been a disappointment when nothing had happened the month after Bella stopped taking her birth control pills. And as the months passed, I had lost a little hope. Despite Bella telling me over and over that it was only to be expected, that it would take some time for her body to adjust to the change, I had started fearing that maybe something was wrong. And now… I already had everything I could ever ask for, and, somehow, I was going to get even more. The thought was mindboggling.

An image was forming in my head. A little boy, with brown hair and Bella's nose, playing with Lily in the back yard. The two of us throwing a baseball between us, Little League, talking about girls…

The image wouldn't leave me alone, and as I continued to watch Lily on the trampoline, an entire life played out in front of my eyes. A life that, only a few years ago, I had never thought I would get.

xxxxx

Lily and I had just finished lunch and were watching SpongeBob when we heard a car pull up outside the house a little before one in the afternoon.

"They're here!" Lily squealed excitedly, jumping down off the couch and running towards the door. I followed her at a more leisurely pace, getting to the front door just as Lily threw her arms around Esme's neck.

"Hey everyone, welcome," I greeted with a smile. It had been less than two weeks since we had last seen them, on Noah's third birthday on June second.

"Hey there." Charlie was the first to return my greeting. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks."

"I'm warning you," he continued. "These two have brought enough stuff for a month-long visit."

I laughed. Esme and Sue always packed like they were going to be gone for weeks rather than days whenever they came to stay.

"Oh, shush you!" Sue slapped Charlie playfully on the arm. "You don't know the first thing about clothes." She turned to me. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thank God for that," Charlie muttered under his breath, opening the trunk to get their bags.

"Thank you." I smiled at Sue.

"Happy Birthday, darling." Esme was next, and I returned the hug.

"Thanks, mom."

"Happy Birthday, son." Carlisle took Esme's place.

"Good to see you, dad."

"And they have actually brought more stuff than usual," he commented after releasing me.

"Oh, be quiet!" Esme elbowed him in the ribs. "There are presents in there, as you well know!"

I chuckled at their display and grabbed two bags from the trunk that Charlie had opened. I lead the way into the house and up the stairs, going to the rooms that they usually stayed in when they visited.

"That's Sue's," Charlie said, pointing to one of the bags in my hand. "I think the other one's your mom's."

I put Sue's bag down on the bed in her and Charlie's room and took the other one with me into my parent's room. Carlisle was already there with the rest of their luggage.

"You weren't kidding about the packing," I noted when I saw the two large suitcases on the floor.

"There are really presents in there," he said. "You haven't been invaded, don't worry."

"That's not what I meant." I shook my head. "You know we love having you here."

"We know," he assured me.

At that moment, I heard the sound of another car pull into the driveway. Bella was home.

Carlisle and Charlie followed me downstairs, going into the living room and turning on the TV to a baseball game. Lily curled up in one of the armchairs with them while I followed Esme and Sue, who had disappeared out the front door.

"I am glad it's over, though," Bella was saying when I got outside. I assumed she was talking about her shopping trip with Alice.

"That is the normal response when you're finally released from Alice's shopping-crazy clutches," I pointed out. "Hey."

I walked down the steps and put my arms around her, pulling her as close as I could.

"Hey."

I was vaguely aware of my mom taking something out of Bella's hand before going into the house with Sue.

"Are you going to welcome me like this every time I leave for a couple of hours?" Bella asked in a teasing voice. "I like it."

"Go ahead and tease," I mumbled, burying my face in her hair and inhaling that scent that was just her. "I won't deny it, I missed you."

"I missed you too," she replied after a moment, her arms tightening around me.

"I'm glad." I kissed her temple before pulling away. "Now, we have guests to entertain."

"Of course."

I didn't take her exasperated tone seriously; I knew she loved having both my parents and Charlie and Sue here.

I took her hand and pulled her with me back into the house.

"Hey dad, Carlisle," she called when she spotted our fathers in the living room.

"Hey, Bells." Charlie's attention stayed on the screen.

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle offered her a smile.

She turned back to me.

"I'll just go put this away," she said, holding up a JC Penney bag.

I watched as she climbed the stairs. A smile spread on my face, just like it always did when I stopped to marvel at the fact that this amazing woman was actually _mine_.

**Bella **

Alice and Jasper arrived a little before six, and fifteen minutes later, Angela, Ben and Jake joined the party as well. When Emmett and Rosalie shoed up at half past, the guest list was complete. Lily quickly claimed Noah's attention; she loved playing with her cousin. I smiled as I watched her pull him along into the living room, imagining her reaction when we told her that she was going to be a big sister. She would be ecstatic.

"OK, time for presents!" I announced, ushering Edward into the living room. Emmett was just putting a wrapped parcel with the rest of the presents on the coffee table. "Sit!" I pushed Edward down on the couch where Alice was already seated.

The rest of us stood around, watching as they opened the gifts. Lily beamed with pride when Edward announced that the best present was the one that she had given him. As he said this, he glanced at me, and I knew that the _very_ best present wouldn't be arriving for another eight months or so.

After all the presents were opened, I went into the kitchen and got the cake out of the fridge. I had gotten one candle in the shape of a five and one in the shape of a two, making fifty-two together, and I put them into the cake and lit them before carrying it into the living room. When I entered the room, we all sang Happy Birthday.

After the cake had been eaten – courtesy of Emmett, who made a sacrifice and finished the last piece – the party moved into the back yard. Surprisingly enough, the sun was still shining in an almost completely blue sky and it was pretty warm out.

Edward and Jake took care of the grill, getting hamburgers and hot dogs from the freezer, Alice got on the trampoline with Lily, Emmett and Jasper started tossing a football and the rest of us just sat around, enjoying the afternoon sun.

We stayed in the back yard until after the sun sank behind the horizon. When I checked my watch, I was surprised when I saw that it was a quarter past ten, way after Lily's usual bedtime.

"Time for bed, sweetie," I told her where she was sitting in Esme's lap on the porch swing.

"'m not tired," she mumbled sleepily, fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Sure you're not." I didn't bother arguing; she would be passed out within five minutes anyway.

"Why don't I read you a story, how about that?" Esme suggested and Lily nodded slowly. I doubted she would make it through the first page. She would fall asleep the moment he heard hit the pillow.

"Goodnight, honey." I placed a kiss on Lily's forehead. "Go say goodnight to your dad."

"OK." She stumbled behind Esme over to where Edward, Emmett, Jacob and Jasper were sitting, by the sound of it discussing the latest football game. I sat down on the swing and watched as she hugged her father and uncles before following Esme into the house.

"She'll be out within minutes," Edward noted, coming over to sit down next to me. He pushed off against the porch and the swing started moving a little.

"No kidding," I replied, leaning my head against his shoulder. "It's been a long day, and it's past ten."

"Maybe she'll even sleep in tomorrow morning," he said in a hopeful voice.

"You honestly believe that?" I asked incredulously. "She'll be up at the crack of dawn, like always on weekends."

"You're probably right," he admitted. "I don't get that. On school days, you can barely drag her out of bed, and on the weekends, she's up before you have the chance to react."

"Kid thing," I offered in explanation.

We sat in silence for a while, swinging back and forth. After about five minutes, Emmett and Rose, carrying Noah in her arms, came over from where they had been sitting.

"We're going to head home," Emmett said. "Need to get this one into bed." He nodded to Noah, who was dead to the world.

"Happy Birthday again," Rosalie said, giving Edward a hug.

"Thanks Rose."

"Yeah, Happy Birthday, bro." Emmett mock-punched Edward in the shoulder.

"Bye, guys," I said, waving after them.

A few minutes later, Angela, Ben and Jacob left as well, and soon after them, Alice and Jasper said goodnight too.

"Well, that's everyone," Carlisle said. "I think I'll go join Esme upstairs, I assume she went straight to bed after putting Lily down."

"I think we'll call it a night too," Charlie agreed and he and Sue followed Carlisle into the house.

"Alone at last," Edward mumbled when they had disappeared, pulling me closer.

"Finally!" I jokingly agreed.

"Not that I don't love our family and friends, but I thought they'd never leave," he half-complained. I knew he wasn't serious, but I also knew what he meant.

"Well, it's just you and me now," I pointed out, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. "So, are you happy with today?"

"I've gotten everything I could ever want, and more," he replied. "This really is the best birthday ever."

"Really?"

"Definitely," he assured me. He ran his fingertips down my cheek, and I leaned into his touch. "I would even go as far as saying that it's one of the best days ever. At least top ten."

"Oh yeah?"

"Absolutely."

"It's not midnight yet," I pointed out. "Is there anything else you want for your birthday?"

"I can honestly not think of one thing that would make today any better than it already is," he said, shaking his head. "It was perfect even before we got up this morning."

"Oh yeah?"

I definitely knew what he was talking about. Still, I could think of a few things that would make today even better… I got up from the swing and he frowned, trying to pull me back down next to him. I slipped out of his grasp and instead sat down in his lap, one leg on either side of his, and gave him another kiss, this one a little longer, more sensual.

"There's really nothing you can think of?" I murmured in his ear.

"Well… when you put it that way."

**AN: OK, I totally stole the Gucci line – I heard it on NCIS and immediately thought that it was such an Alice thing to say. So I just had to use it. I hope you liked this, let me know! You know I love reviews… **


	2. 2 A Big Moment

**AN: Happy New Year everyone! I'm amazed by the response on the first chapter – 39 reviews, 85 favs and 133 alerts! And "Hearts in Pain" got past 100,000 hits and 400 reviews! You guys totally rule!!! **

**I got a question in a review of the first chapter and since others might be wondering too, I thought I'd clarify a little. No, Edward is not fifty-two; the fifty-two thing with the candles on the birthday cake was a bit of a joke. Since it's Alice's birthday too, and they turn twenty-six, that makes fifty-two together. That's what I was getting at. I'm sorry if this confused you.**

**Anyway, here is chapter two for you, I hope you like it!!!**

**Disclaimer: Same as always – I don't own them.**

**2 – A Big Moment**

I quickly turned off the alarm clock on Monday morning, not wanting to wake Edward up. There was no need for him to get up just because I had to go to work. He wasn't working on anything at the moment, since he wanted to be free to spend the summer with Lily.

I quietly slipped out of bed and headed in the direction of a much needed shower.

"Morning."

I turned at the sleepy voice.

"I was trying not to wake you up," I said, climbing back into the bed. "It's early, go back to sleep."

"Good morning kiss first," he replied, pulling me down and kissing me lazily.

"And a good morning it is," I mumbled when he pulled away. "Would you be interested in a job as an alarm clock? You're much more pleasant than that incessant ringing."

He chuckled at that.

"Go on, you'll be late for work."

"Going." I headed towards the bathroom again, and again, his voice stopped me.

"Don't forget to call the doctor today," he reminded me.

I smiled at the poorly hidden joy in his voice. Like I would forget…

"I won't," I assured him before closing the bathroom door behind me.

xxxxx

As promised, I called my doctor's office as soon as they opened.

"_Hello Mrs. Cullen, how may I help you today?"_

The sound of my 'new' name still made a tingle creep down my spine. Even after almost a year, I hadn't completely gotten used to hearing it.

"I'd like to make an appointment for a pregnancy test," I told the woman on the other end of the line.

"_OK, just hang on a minute, and I'll check when Doctor Wallace is available." _

I waited impatiently, tapping my fingers against the desk in front of me.

"_Here we go,"_ the woman said, coming back to the phone. _"I have an opening on Wednesday at ten, will that be good for you?"_

"Sure, that works," I replied, and made a mental note to tell Michelle I would be gone for a while on Wednesday.

"_OK then, I'll put you down for that time. And you'll need to come in today to get some blood drawn and leave a urine sample, so that we can get the results back before your appointment."_

"OK, I'll stop by after work."

"_I'll see you later today, then."_

I hung up and called Edward.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, it's me," I said, unnecessarily.

"_Hey,"_ he greeted. _"Did you call?"_

"I did. I'm going by there on my way home to leave a blood and urine sample, and then I got an appointment with Doctor Wallace at ten on Wednesday," I reported.

"_OK. Do you think Angela could take Lily while we're there?"_ he wondered. "_I suppose I could talk to Rosalie, see if I could drop her off there for an hour or so, but you know Rose – she'll start asking questions. And I'm guessing we're not telling them yet?"_

"I think it's better if we wait a little, it's still too early." I thought for a moment. I would have to call Ang; I would never be able to lie to her if we were face to face. "I'll tell Angela you have a meeting with some client on Wednesday, that way she won't wonder what's up."

"_OK,"_ he agreed.

"I've got to get back to work, I'll see you later tonight."

"_See you later, bye." _

I hung up and decided to talk to Michelle right away. I found her in her office, on the phone. When I peeked in through the open door, she gestured for me to come in and sit down, indicating that she would be done in just a moment.

"That sounds great, Neil," she said into the receiver, rolling her eyes at me.

Neil Olsen, CEO of Olsen Ltd., one of our most important clients, was not known for keeping it short.

"I can assure you that you are going to love the campaign, I've got my best people on it," Michelle winked at me.

That would be me. I felt a brief twinge of fear in the pit of my stomach; what if he was disappointed in my work? But then I pulled myself together – the campaign was great, one of the best things I had done so far.

"OK, then, I will see you on Friday."

It sounded like Michelle was trying to end the call before Neil got talking about something else.

"Yeah… that's right… OK, see you then."

Finally, she hung up the phone and let out a sigh of relief.

"That man sure can talk," she noted with a smile.

"You don't need to tell me that," I replied. I'd had more than my fair share of interaction with Neil while I had worked on this campaign over the last few months.

"So, what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'll be gone for an hour or so on Wednesday morning, I've got a doctor's appointment at ten," I informed her.

"I hope nothing's wrong," she said, frowning.

Nope. Quite the opposite, actually.

"No, just a routine check-up," I assured her, hoping she wouldn't catch the white lie.

"OK then."

At that moment, the voice of Amelia, Michelle's secretary, came over the intercom.

"_Mr. Olsen is on line one again,"_ she said in an exasperated voice. _"Something about that damn boat."_

"Not again!" Michelle sighed. "He just can't make a decision about the launch party! Does he want it on a boat or not? Some sort of theme or not? Black tie or casual? This is the fourth time we've had this conversation today and it's barely nine yet."

"I'll just leave you to that, then," I said, getting up from the visitors' chair. "Sounds like you'll have your hands full for a while."

"No kidding." She sighed deeply once more, then picked up the phone and pressed the button for line one. "Neil, what can I do for you?"

I quietly slipped out of her office and back to my own. Not in a procrastinating mood, I picked up my own phone and called Angela. Might as well get everything sorted right away.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Ang!"

"_Bella, hi. Would you believe that I was just about to call you?"_

It wasn't the first time our thoughts had coincided like this.

"Oh, yeah? Why?"

"_Well, one of my clients is apparently a big supporter of the Mariners, and he gets great seats at every home game, but he's going out of town this weekend so he can't go to the Yankees game on Saturday. So he asked me if I was interested, and since Ben loves baseball, I said yes. I got four tickets and I thought that you and Edward might be interested in going with us."_

"What you're really asking is will I go with you so you won't have to put up with Ben's play-by-play?" I teased.

Ben absolutely loved baseball, and Angela absolutely hated it. But she always went with him anyway.

"_Well, yes,"_ she admitted. _"Would you? Please!"_

Edward wasn't as big a baseball fan as Ben, but he went to the Mariners' home games every now and then with Ben or Emmett. I just hoped this unusually sunny Seattle weather lasted until the weekend. Sitting in the pouring rain watching a bunch of grown men play with a ball was not my idea of a fun Saturday. But going to a game might actually work with my plans for the evening…

"Oh, alright," I said, laughing a little at Angela's desperation. "I have to check with Edward so he doesn't have any plans, but it shouldn't be a problem. I do want a favor in return, though."

"_Anything!"_ she promised.

"Could Edward drop Lily off for an hour or so on Wednesday? He has an important meeting with some client at ten, and I can't get away from work." Lying over the phone wasn't a problem, luckily. It was the blush that always gave me away.

"_Sure, no problem."_

"Great. I'll talk to you later."

"_Talk to you later, bye!"_

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and focused on work; I still had some things I needed to perfect before Friday, when we were presenting the campaign for Olsen Ltd.

**Edward **

Deciding to not take on any work over the summer had probably been one of the best ideas I had ever had. Being able to spend time with Lily without anything hanging over me, songs waiting to be finished and contracts waiting to be signed, was great. I was glad that I was in a position where I even had that choice.

After the first contract with a local movie company two years ago – that I had gotten thanks to Bella sending in my music to the producer of the movie – I had started building a network of contacts in show business. These days I got enough offers from different companies that I could choose which ones I wanted to do and not. I had actually managed to make a name for myself in the industry.

The money was only really a nice bonus of the job; a very nice bonus. The most important thing was that I had been able to quit my job writing jingles and focus on composing actual music full time. Luckily, the music part of the movie industry wasn't something that attracted a lot of attention. My name was up there with some of the best in the circles I worked in, but it wasn't like people recognized me in the street or anything. This anonymity was something I was grateful for, especially when I thought about what a public life would do to my personal life.

The only downside was that I had to fly to LA on a somewhat regular basis to meet with clients. I usually tried to schedule these meetings so that I could fly down in the morning and go back home in the afternoon, but sometimes I had to stay overnight. Being away from Bella and Lily for that long was something I never completely got used to.

As I prepared lunch for Lily, I contemplated cutting back on work altogether for the next year and a half or so. I could still take on jobs that didn't involve going down to LA – there were movie companies situated in the immediate area, and some clients were willing to travel up here to meet with me – but I didn't want to be that far away if something happened. I wanted to be here for everything; doctor's appointments, ultra sounds, shopping for furniture, clothes, toys, afternoons painting the nursery, trips to the 24-hour supermarket in the middle of the night if Bella wanted ice cream. I wanted it all.

After lunch, Lily and I played tennis on the Nintento Wii. I had been a little hesitant when she had first announced that she wanted the video game for her birthday last year, but after reading up on it a little, I thought it was a great idea. Even if she did spend a lot of time in front of the TV, she was still moving around. And she still loved playing outside, so the only difference really was that she no longer watched as many cartoons.

"I win again!" she exclaimed happily when she beat me for the third time.

"Shoot!" I faked a 'poor loser' face. "Well, that's it. I'm not playing with you anymore."

"Please! Please please please, just one more game!" she pleaded.

"No more tennis!"

"We can bowl," she suggested. I pondered that for a moment.

"OK, but let me warn you; I am going to beat you!"

"Nuh-uh!"

xxxxx

I had just put dinner on the table that Lily had set when I heard Bella's car pulling up in the driveway.

"Perfect timing," I noted when I heard the front door open and close.

"Yum, food." She came into the kitchen and dropped her purse on the counter. "I'm starving."

"Guess what I did today, mom?" Lily said with a wide grin.

"What did you do, baby?" Bella wondered, placing a kiss on Lily's forehead before sitting down next to me.

"I beat dad at tennis! Three times!" Lily exclaimed excitedly. "And bowling!"

"You did? Wow!" Bella gave me an amused look.

"Yeah, you're the Wii champion," I said, making my voice sound defeated. "There's no beating you."

"Nope!"

Lily happily dug into her food, and I leaned over to give Bella a welcome home kiss.

"Mmmm," she mumbled against my lips, making it very difficult to pull away. But I managed.

"How's your day been?" I asked, always eager to know what she had been up to. I took her plate and put some chicken, rice and vegetables on it. I hesitated for a moment, then put on some more vegetables. She shot me an inquisitive look, and I shrugged. She should be eating more vegetables and other healthy stuff.

"Fine," she replied, apparently deciding to let the vegetable thing go. "I'm pretty much finished with the presentation for Friday, so that's good. And Michelle is handling Neil, so I don't actually have to talk to him, which is a plus."

I laughed a little at that. Bella had told me many stories about the indecisive CEO of Olsen Ltd.

"I'm glad. And your… pit stop on the way home went OK?" I chose my words carefully so as not to arouse Lily's curiosity.

"It did," Bella replied. "And I talked to Angela, and she's fine with the arrangement for Wednesday."

Our conversation must sound very strange to an outsider. Luckily, Lily was focused on eating, wanting to finish her dinner so she could return to her game, and wasn't paying attention.

"That's good."

"Yeah." Bella nodded. "Oh, and we don't have anything planned on Saturday, do we?"

"No, why?" I wondered.

"Angela has four tickets for the Mariners-Yankees game, and she asked if we wanted to go with her and Ben."

"That should be fun." I wasn't a huge baseball fan, really, but I always enjoyed going to games with Ben. The guy was like a walking baseball encyclopedia, he knew absolutely everything.

"Great." Bella beamed at me. "I already talked to Donna, so we'll drop Lily off there on our way and she can spend the night. You never know how late those games will go on."

"Can't Catie come here instead?" Lily wondered, having caught the end of the conversation. Right, Catie didn't have a Wii.

"No, she can't, because we won't be home," I explained. "You can play over there the old fashioned way." I didn't want her to lose her imagination because of that game.

"I guess." Lily pouted a little before a smile spread on her face. "Can we play Madagascar Kartz after dinner?"

I groaned quietly. Well, at least I wouldn't have to forfeit the game, like I had when we'd played tennis. I absolutely sucked at Mario Kart.

"Of course, baby," Bella happily agreed. "I'm sure your dad can't wait to play!"

I shot her an evil glare only to get an innocent smile in return. She knew very well how much I disliked the game. I just couldn't get the hang of how to use the remote to maneuver the little car on the screen. And Lily always picked the courses where you could fall off. Which I did. A lot.

Lily started shuffling vegetables – she always left them until last, for some reason – at the prospect of playing Madagascar Kartz.

"Done!" she announced after a moment.

"Maybe we should sign you up for a speed eating contest?" Bella giggled. "Go start the game, we'll be right there."

Lily bounced off into the living room and Bella and I continued eating at a normal pace.

"Why don't you go play with her?" I suggested when we had finished. "I'll clean up in here."

"Is this an avoid-playing strategy, or are the kiddie gloves coming out again?" Bella wondered in an amused voice. "Because if that means you'll do all the household work for the next eight months, I'm all for it."

"Very funny." In truth, it was probably a combination of the two.

"Well, whatever it is, I'll take it." She got up from the table and gave me a quick kiss. I was about to reach out and pull her closer when she slipped away. "Just don't drag this out too long, I'll know if you try!"

She winked at me before leaving the kitchen and I sighed. Apparently, there would be no avoiding that wretched game tonight.

**Bella**

I sat fidgeting at my desk all morning on Wednesday, anxious for it to be nine forty-five. It was a good thing that I had already finished the presentation for Friday, because I couldn't focus on work for the life of me. Doubts had started creeping into my mind; what if the test had been wrong? They were only 99 % accurate, after all. What if I had misinterpreted the signs? My period was definitely more than a week late now, but that could happen, right? And, just like last time, there was no morning sickness, so I only had the increased fatigue and some more-than-usual lightheadedness to go on. For what felt like the thousandth time this morning, I tried to shrug these thoughts off. It wouldn't be the end of the world if I was mistaken. We would just have to try again… And, anyway, wouldn't the doctor's office have called to cancel my appointment if the blood test had come back negative?

Edward had insisted on picking me up at work on his way to the doctor's office, and since I knew that he would probably leave the house long before he actually had to, I left the office five minutes before he was supposed to pick me up. Sure enough, when I got out into the parking lot, the Volvo was there, windows rolled down and engine turned off.

"How long have you been sitting here?" I wondered when I had gotten into the passenger seat.

"I just got here," he replied, focusing on the road as he pulled into the sparse morning traffic.

"Ten minutes?" I guess, ignoring his words.

"More or less," he admitted, and I saw his lips pull up into that crooked smile that I loved so much. "I'm a little excited, can you blame me?"

"Well, I haven't gotten anything productive done all morning, so I guess not." I sighed and decided to voice my concerns. "You do know that this could be a false alarm, right? I mean, the tests are only 99 %, and I could be reading the signs wrong, so don't…"

"Hey," he interrupted, reaching out and taking my hand in his. "If that's the case, it's fine. It's not the end of the world." I smiled when he used the same words I had thought a little earlier.

"I know, I just wanted you to be prepared for the possibility."

"Don't worry," he assured me, squeezing my hand. "If this is meant to be, it will happen. And if it doesn't… we already have a wonderful daughter."

"I know." But I also knew that he wanted this just as much as I did.

I let go of my negative thoughts with some effort as he pulled into the parking lot outside my doctor's office. I stared in trepidation at the brick building for a moment before getting out of the car.

As we walked towards the entrance, Edward took my hand in his again, interlacing our fingers. I squeezed his hand this time, knowing that he needed it just as much as I did.

"Mrs. Cullen, Mr. Cullen," the receptionist greeted us. "Let me just call Doctor Wallace and make sure she's ready for you."

She pressed a button on the intercom on the desk in front of her.

"_Yes Julie?"_ Doctor Wallace's voice came over the line.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen are here for their ten o'clock."

"_Go on and send them in."_

"You can go on through," Julie turned to us and said unnecessarily. "You know your way around."

"Thank you." I smiled at her and pulled Edward along down the corridor.

I knocked on the door to the doctor's office before opening it.

"Bella, hi!" Doctor Wallace greeted when she spotted us. "And you must be Edward, it's nice to meet you."

She stood up and she and Edward shook hands.

"It's nice to meet you too," he replied.

"Well, I thought I'd might see you here again soon when you didn't make an appointment to renew your prescription in February," she said with a smile.

"Yeah," I replied, blushing a little.

"Well, I can confirm your suspicions," she told me, and I felt a smile matching hers spread on my face. "The test is positive, so why don't you put that on and I can do a quick examination to make sure everything's going OK."

I took the paper gown she indicated and went behind the curtain in the corner to change before climbing into the examination chair. Edward came to stand next to me when Doctor Wallace pulled up a stool. When I saw her take a pair of rubber gloves from a drawer, I grabbed Edward's hand.

"Just relax, I'll be done in a moment," Doctor Wallace instructed me, and I tried to do just that.

Edward was rubbing circles on the back of my hand in a soothing motion, smiling down at me, and I focused on that to keep my mind off what the doctor was doing.

"There, all done!" she said after a minute. "Just step on the scale for me and then you can change back into your own clothes."

I did as she said, and she checked the digital numbers before writing them down on a chart. I went behind the curtain again and quickly put my clothes back on. When I reemerged, Doctor Wallace sat down behind her desk and Edward and I took the visitors' chairs. I was reminded of the last time I was in a position like this, almost nine years ago, with Charlie by my side. I reached out and took Edward's hand, needing to reassure myself that he was here.

"Well, everything looks great," Doctor Wallace told us. "When was the first day of your last period?"

"May fifteenth," I replied quickly. I had that memorized.

"OK, you're at about five weeks then." She pressed a few buttons on the keyboard. "And your due date should be around February nineteenth."

"OK." I nodded, storing the information away.

"Now, I know that you've done all this before, so I won't give you the 'no smoking, no drinking' routine," Doctor Wallace said with a smile. "But you might want to look through these, just to refresh your memory." She handed me a few brochures, and I put them down in my purse.

"Thank you."

"Is anything bothering you yet, morning sickness or something?" she wondered, and I shook my head.

"No, but I didn't have any morning sickness with Lily either," I told her. "Some lightheadedness and fatigue, though. But that could just be me wanting to see things that aren't there." I shrugged.

"Maybe, but you will start feeling those things soon, if you're not already."

"I know."

"Well, I think that's all then. And congratulations!" Her smile got wider, and I could feel my own face mirroring hers.

"Thank you."

I got to my feet, and felt Edward do the same next to me. I looked over at him, realizing that he had been very quiet, and saw that he had an almost reverent expression on his face.

"Make an appointment with Julie for another check-up in about a month, and I will see you then," Doctor Wallace said in parting.

"We will," I replied, pulling Edward with me towards the door. "Bye!"

**Edward **

Doctor Wallace looked up when Bella opened the door, and I immediately liked the middle aged woman. She had an almost motherly air to her.

"Bella, hi!" she greeted. "And you must be Edward, it's nice to meet you."

She got up from her chair and walked around the desk. I followed Bella into the office, taking the hand the doctor held out.

"It's nice to meet you too," I told her.

"Well, I thought I'd might see you here again soon when you didn't make an appointment to renew your prescription in February," the doctor said, releasing my hand and turning to Bella with a smile.

"Yeah," Bella replied, that trademark blush of hers creeping up her cheeks. Leave it to Bella to be embarrassed about talking about things like this with a doctor.

"Well, I can confirm your suspicions," Doctor Wallace said, and I felt my heart leap a little in my chest. "The test is positive, so why don't you put that on and I can do a quick examination to make sure everything's going OK."

I reluctantly let go of Bella's hand so that she could take the paper gown and go behind a curtain to change into it. When she came back out, I followed her to the odd looking chair she climbed into and stood next to her. She took my hand again, squeezing it a little more than before. At first I thought that she was trying to make me relax, but then I heard the snap of the rubber gloves, and realized that it was to keep herself calm as the doctor did the examination.

"Just relax, I'll be done in a moment," Doctor Wallace instructed, and I heard Bella take a deep breath.

Trying to sooth her, I started rubbing circles on the back of her hand with my thumb and gave her what I hoped was a comforting smile. I felt her relax a little.

"There, all done!" the doctor announced after a minute. "Just step on the scale for me and then you can change back into your own clothes."

I again let go of Bella's hand, again reluctantly, and stood back a little as she got on the digital scale. After the doctor had written down the numbers on a piece of paper, Bella got off the scale and went back behind the curtain to change again. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room and waited for her to come back. When she did, I followed her to the visitors' chairs by Doctor Wallace's desk. The doctor herself was already sitting behind it.

"Well, everything looks great," she told us. "When was the first day of your last period?"

I realized that I knew much too little about these kind of things to understand why she was asking this.

"May fifteenth," Bella replied, apparently not confused about the question at all.

"OK, you're at about five weeks then." Aha, that's why she asked. "And your due date should be around February nineteenth."

February nineteenth. Suddenly, everything seemed so real. February nineteenth. That was an actual date, just eight months away. The enormity of the situation dawned on me, but it didn't frighten me. Not at all.

I had been very excited when I saw the positive pregnancy test and realized what that meant. But now… now, it was so much more real. There was an actual little person growing inside Bella, a person that was half her, half me. Something we had created. Our child.

I remembered the pictures Bella had showed me the day we met again, almost three years ago; Lily as a newborn and everything after that. The home videos Charlie had made copies off; Lily's first smile, first step, first word, first bike. And the pictures Bella had showed me later, after we had gotten back together, pictures of the progress of the pregnancy, watching her body change. I would get to be there for all of that this time around.

I absentmindedly noted that Bella and the doctor were still talking, but the words made no sense to me. I was in my own personal little bubble of pure, undiluted joy.

"OK," Bella said.

"Now, I know that you've done all this before, so I won't give you the 'no smoking, no drinking' routine. But you might want to look through these, just to refresh your memory." I saw her hand Bella some brochures and made a mental note to look them through tonight. Along with some internet research. I wanted to know everything that was happening.

"Thank you."

"Is anything bothering you yet, morning sickness or something?"

I registered that this was something that I should wonder about as well, and felt a little bad that I hadn't asked Bella about it. She hadn't said anything about feeling sick, but most women did, right? I made an effort to concentrate on her answer, but was only able to listen with one ear, too wrapped up in my own moment to fully pay attention.

"No, but I didn't have any morning sickness with Lily either. Some lightheadedness and fatigue, though. But that could just be me wanting to see things that aren't there."

I was relieved to hear that. I didn't want her to feel bad.

"Maybe, but you will start feeling those things soon, if you're not already."

"I know."

"Well, I think that's all then. And congratulations!"

I saw the almost matching smiles on the two women's faces, and wondered if I was smiling too. I couldn't be sure; I was too deep in thought.

"Thank you."

Bella stood up, and I realized I should do the same. I saw her give me a curious glance, but couldn't make myself snap out of this… reverie.

"Make an appointment with Julie for another check-up in about a month, and I will see you then," Doctor Wallace said.

"We will," Bella replied. She started pulling me along towards the door, and I was grateful. I wasn't sure I would have been able to remember how to walk if she hadn't. "Bye!"

I walked in a daze back towards the reception area, Bella's hand pulling me along all the way. When we got back to the desk where the woman named Julie was sitting, Bella paused.

"I need to make another appointment," she told the woman. "Doctor Wallace said in about a month."

"Let's see what we have here, then." The receptionist looked at her computer screen for a moment. "July eighteenth, would that work? At one thirty?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," Bella said, nodding.

"I'll put you down for that, then."

"OK, thank you. Bye!"

"Bye!"

I went along as Bella pulled me out into the parking lot and towards the car. When we got there, she looked up at me with a concerned expression.

"Do I need to drive you home?" she wondered. "You look like you're a thousand miles away right now." She held her hand out for the car keys.

"What?" I shook my head, trying to snap out of the daze. "No, I'm fine. Just… it just hit me in there, the enormity of this. I think I had some sort of epiphany."

"You're not freaking out, are you?" she asked, a frown forming on her face. "I mean, you're not starting to have second thoughts about this, right?"

"What?" I tried to understand how she had come to that conclusion. "No, of course not. I want this more than anything else in the world. Did I make you think that I didn't?"

"Good." Bella let out a sigh of relief. "I just didn't know what to make of the silence, I thought you might have started regretting doing this."

"No, never," I assured her, pulling her into a tight embrace. I felt her arms wrap around my waist, and I realized that this was my own personal heaven on earth. I didn't need the real one, as long as I had Bella by my side. "It just dawned on me that this is actually happening. I mean, the home test was one thing, but when the doctor actually confirmed it and started talking about dates… it made it a lot more real, somehow."

"Wait until we do the ultra sound in two months." Bella giggled. "That's when I really got it last time. It's a little overwhelming."

"More than this?" I asked in disbelief. "I have a hard time imagining that."

"You'll see." Bella sighed again, but in a content way this time, and leaned her head against my shoulder. I buried my face in her hair.

"I love you," I mumbled quietly.

"Well, that's a good thing, since we're having a baby," she teased, but then became serious again. "I love you too, more than anything."

**AN: We just got Madagascar Kartz to our Wii, and it's a lot of fun - just had to put it in there. I also wanted to tell you guys that I won't update for a little while, probably a week and a half or so. I'm going on holiday to Egypt on Sunday and won't be home until the tenth. **


	3. 3 Take Me Out to the Ballgame

**AN: I'm back! A little better rested, a little more tanned, and ready to get back to work! Since I have been threatened with a beating (with dead fish involved!) I thought I'd better update as soon as possible, never mind that I really should be working on my translation of **_**Midnight Sun**_** for school. So here it is, chapter three. I hope you like it, and keep up the amazing reviewing!!!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. This is getting a little repetitive… **

**3 – Take Me Out to the Ballgame**

**Edward**

After taking Bella back to work, I headed downtown and parked close to Paramount Theatre. When I had dropped Lily off at Angela and Ben's place earlier, she had pleaded for five minutes straight, using her best puppy eyes – I would have to have a serious conversation with Alice about teaching her tricks like that – until I agreed to let her stay for lunch. Angela was making her special macaroni and cheese, one of Lily's absolute favorites.

So, since I didn't have to pick her up until one o'clock and it was now only a little before eleven, I thought I'd use the unexpected free time to look for an anniversary present for Bella. It would be one year since our wedding on Sunday.

I smiled as I walked down the street. Bella didn't know that I had talked to Donna and that we wouldn't have to pick Lily up until late on Sunday. Since Bella had to work on Monday – forcing me to give up on any grander plans, like a trip to Paris or something similar – I planned on taking her to Golden Gardens Park for a romantic picnic-lunch. We would spend the afternoon together, just enjoying the alone time.

Now all I had to do was find the perfect gift.

Jewelry always worked, right? Bella wasn't that big on the whole concept, but she always wore the necklace I gave her for Christmas two and a half years ago. Maybe I could find something that would go with that…

I wandered down Pine Street, heading towards Pike Place Market, and looked at the different display windows absentmindedly. I stopped outside Tiffany's, but quickly disregarded that idea. Bella would prefer nice and simple to pricey and flashy; besides, she would never wear anything as expensive as the jewelry in Tiffany's. And though I would love to spend money on her, I would rather she wore what I gave her.

When I got to Macy's, I decided to go inside. They had a jewelry department where I should be able to find something that wasn't too expensive but still nice.

I walked through the department store, not completely sure where the jewelry section was. I was about to ask a female clerk when I spotted something. Not what I had been looking for, but I was drawn towards it anyway.

The tiny, blue onesie had a pattern of guitars on it. I checked the size; six to nine months. Could there be anything smaller? I looked through the clothes hanging behind it and found one for one to three months. It was impossibly smaller. How could something that fit inside this actually be real?

Without thinking, I grabbed the onesie and continued in my search of the jewelry department.

I finally found what I was looking for and studied the different kinds of jewelry on display. Bella already had the necklace I had given her, so not a necklace. I had never seen her wear a bracelet, so that was out as well. She did always wear earrings, though.

"Can I help you?"

I looked up at the voice and found a female sales clerk in her forties smiling at me.

"I'm looking for an anniversary present," I told her.

"I see. Did you have anything special in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking earrings."

"We have a large selection of earrings, right over here." She indicated for me to follow to a display a few feet away. "Now, are we talking gold or silver? Any stones?"

"Definitely gold," I said. "I'm not sure about stones."

"Would you like hoops, studs or drops?"

"I'm sorry?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"These are hoops," she said, pointing to a pair of earrings. OK, that I could have figured out on my own. "And these are studs." Another pair. "And drops."

"OK, then I think I'll go with studs." I was pretty sure that Bella didn't like dangling earrings.

"Why don't you look around a little, no rush, and just call me when…"

But I had just spotted the perfect pair.

"Can I look at those, please?" I interrupted.

She unlocked the display and took out the pair I wanted, holding them up to the light. They were gold, heart shaped, with a small, glittering stone in the center.

"Very good choice," the clerk said. "That's fourteen carat gold with a 0.25 carat diamond in each stud."

"I'll take them."

She looked at me like I was insane.

"Are you sure?" she asked, sounding almost a little suspicious. "You wouldn't like to look around a little more?"

"No, they're perfect," I insisted.

"Very well then." She still looked at me a little funny, but went to the cashier's desk. "And did you want that as well?" She indicated the onesie I still had in my hand.

"Yes." I handed it to her.

"That will be $614 then," she told me and I handed her my credit card. I definitely wouldn't tell Bella how much the earrings had cost; she would never wear them if she knew. Come to think of it, I probably shouldn't tell her that the stones were diamonds either… "Would you like that gift wrapped?" The clerk's voice pulled me out of my musings.

"Just the earrings, please."

I waited as she put them in a small box and then wrapped it in silver paper and tied a gold ribbon around it.

"There we go," she said, handing me the bag with both the onesie and the box with the earrings. "You have a good day!"

"Thank you."

I left the store and strolled down the street without any particular goal in mind.

**Bella**

"She's out like a light," I announced as I came back downstairs after putting Lily to bed. "What do you do all day to wear her out like this?"

"It's really Angela's doing today," Edward defended himself. "They went to the aquarium."

"That usually does the trick," I agreed, sitting down next to him on the couch and pulling my legs up under me.

"So, I was downtown earlier, just passing the time, and I found something," Edward started. "I know it's really way too early for this, but I just couldn't resist."

He held up something, and I immediately realized what it was.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed quietly, touching the blue fabric.

"I'm sorry, it's too early, I shouldn't have," he quickly went on. "I'll take it back, don't worry about it."

"No, no, that's not…" I felt tears rise in my eyes. Damn hormones! "It's just I was looking at this at the mall the other day."

"You were?" he looked down at me and I nodded. "Are you crying?"

"I'm sorry, it's the hormones," I explained. "I told you not to underestimate them!"

xxxxx

The rest of the work week went by almost in a blur. I felt like I finally understood what people mean when they say that they see the world through pink glasses. Even though Thursday brought with it pouring rain and a temperature drop of about fifteen degrees, I still walked around grinning in a silly way. Seeing the same sort of smile on Edward's face only made it that more difficult to get out of our little bubble of happiness.

To my great surprise, Saturday dawned with a pale blue sky and little fluffy clouds lining the horizon. I had pretty much come to terms with the fact that we would get soaked through at the game, which started a little after seven, but it seemed like the weather felt like cooperating. Before the game, we were meeting Angela and Ben for dinner. But we still had plenty of time to enjoy the beautiful weather, playing with Lily in the back yard. At lunch, Edward fired up the grill and we made hamburgers. All in all, an absolutely perfect family day.

At five, we left the house and piled into the Volvo. I had packed an overnight bag for Lily, and she had gotten to bring her favorite game and a couple of movies. Not that there weren't enough of that at Catie's place, but I thought it was best to go along, so as not to start an unnecessary argument.

We parked outside Donna's apartment building and climbed the stairs to the second floor. I knocked on the door, and an "It's open!" greeted us from inside.

"Hey, we're here!" I called when I had closed the door behind us. Lily immediately took off in the direction of Catie's room.

"Hey, sorry, clothing emergency," Donna said, coming into the hallway. "Cole's going to his very first school dance tonight."

"They grow up so fast, don't they?" I noted, a little sentimentally.

"Tell me about it." Donna shook her head. "I can't believe he's a teenager. Whatever happened to that little boy I brought home from the hospital? He's got a date tonight, for Pete's sake!"

I felt a rush of relief that we didn't have to worry about that with Lily yet. Then it hit me that Cole was only five years older than her, and that in only a few years, there would be dances, and boys, and make up and… I forced myself to stop thinking about it before I started hyperventilating at the prospect.

"Don't even get me thinking about dates," I pleaded, and Donna laughed.

"Why not? If I have to deal with it, so will you!" she teased.

"Thank you. I feel so much better," I said dryly.

"There's really no point in worrying about that now, is there?" Edward pointed out, and I gave him a surprised look. How could he discuss this so calmly? I had always thought that he would be the one to suggest locking Lily in her room until she was thirty. But, of course, he was right.

"I know," I admitted. "Anyway, here's her stuff." I gave the bag to Donna. "We'll pick her up tomorrow morning."

"Don't worry about that," Donna disregarded. "I'll drop her off at some point after lunch."

"Are you sure?" Edward wondered, and I wanted to kick him in the shins. When someone willingly offers to watch your kid for longer than you ask for, you don't question it!

"Of course," she assured us. "I'll call you when we're on our way." She winked at me.

"Thank you, really," I said gratefully.

Almost a whole day, kid free… and tomorrow was our anniversary… I had already enlisted Alice to help me surprise Edward when we got home from the game tonight, and my mind instantly started to wander away with me. Angela's invitation to the baseball game had actually saved me a lot of trouble… But, remembering the baseball game also reminded me that it would be a while before we could get to more… interesting activities. I checked my watch.

"We should get going, we're meeting Ang and Ben at the restaurant in ten minutes."

"Go, go, I've got everything under control," Donna insisted. "See you tomorrow, and enjoy your free time."

"Trust me, we will," I told her quietly and she laughed.

"Bye."

"Bye."

We left the building and continued to Sluggers Bar and Grill, which was situated just a few blocks from Safeco Field. Ben and Angela were already there.

"Hey guys!" Angela stood up to give us each a hug. "I hope we haven't ruined your Saturday night!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Edward told her. "We're always up for some baseball."

"Well, some of us are," I amended, sitting down next to Angela. Edward took the seat on my other side, starting to discuss the coming game with Ben. I tuned them out. "This place is nice."

"It is, and the food is good too," Angela said. "Did Lily get to Catie's alright?"

"Yeah, we just dropped her off on the way," I replied. "Kid free until tomorrow afternoon!"

"Whatever will you do?" Angela winked at me.

"I think we might be able to think of something to pass the time."

"Oh, I have no doubt."

It was a good thing I was used to Angela's suggestive tone, or I would have blushed a bright scarlet.

"So, are you all psyched about the big trip?" I wondered, changing the subject.

Ben and Angela had gotten married in April, but hadn't gone on their honeymoon yet. They were leaving the States on July ninth to travel around Europe for the rest of the month. Angela called it her 'delayed after high school rebellion'.

"I am, it's going to be great!" she exclaimed happily. "Just imagine; London, Rome, Barcelona, Athens. I can't wait!"

A waitress came over to take our drink orders, and we quickly ordered our food as well. It was really good, just like Angela had said.

When we had finished eating and paid the bill, we walked over to Safeco Field, since we figured that it would take less time to walk back to the restaurant's parking lot and drive home from there than it would take trying to get out of the lot at the field after the game.

I had been at Safeco a few times before, but I was always a little overwhelmed by the size of it. It seated almost fifty thousand people at once, and from the top rows, the baseball players looked like little toys. The seats we were in today, however, were so close to the field that we could actually hear what the players were yelling to each other as they warmed up for the game.

"Are these seats great or what?" Ben exclaimed excitedly when we had sat down.

"I almost feel like we should be wearing helmets," Angela noted a little anxiously. "What if the ball comes this way?"

"I would suggest ducking," I said, earning a slap on the arm from Angela. "What? That would probably be a good idea."

"Oh, shut up!"

I laughed at the nervous expression on her face.

"Oh, come on, Ang," I tried to calm her. "What are the odds that the ball would hit one of us?"

"I'd say we've got a better shot at winning the lottery," Ben piped in.

"Not helping." Angela glared at him.

"I promise I'll protect you," he amended.

That seemed to settle it, because Angela relaxed noticeably and when the game actually started, she cheered with the rest of us.

**Edward **

It was a little before eleven by the time we got home; the game had lasted almost three and a half hours, ending in a victory for the Mariners.

"You want something to eat before bed?" I wondered as we entered the house. It had been almost five hours since we'd had dinner.

"I think I need something," Bella replied, heading in the direction of the kitchen. She opened the fridge and eyed the shelves before closing the door and moving on to the pantry. She took out a box of chocolate pop tarts and put two in the toaster.

"Lots of nutrition in those," I commented.

"Oh, no, don't start," she warned me. "Charlie tried the same thing last time, and I only went to Angela's to eat what I wanted. I won't hesitate to do that again."

"I was only saying," I backtracked quickly, not wanting to upset her.

"I eat healthy stuff all the time," she pointed out. "I won't give up the few unhealthy things."

"I'm sorry I said anything." I hadn't meant to criticize her eating habits.

"No, I'm sorry," she muttered after a moment, stepping closer to me and wrapping her arms around my waist. "I overreacted."

"You don't have to apologize," I assured her, hugging her close.

"Neither do you," she retorted.

"OK, neither of us will apologize then, how does that sound?"

"That sounds good," she agreed. The pop tarts reappeared and she pulled away from me. "You want one?"

"Sure." I took one of the pop tarts and pulled her along into the living room. We both sat down on the couch, and I turned the television on.

"Ooh, _Sex and the City_!" Bella exclaimed when she saw what was on.

I sighed. Not my favorite show.

After a moment, Bella started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I wondered.

"Just wait a minute, you'll see," she replied, giggling.

"What do you mean?"

She fixed her attention on the TV and didn't say anything else. After a minute, the image on the screen changed, and she shot me a look. I realized what she had been laughing at, and chuckled a little.

"Baseball all around today," I noted.

We watched the show and finished the pop tarts. When the credits started rolling across the screen after the second episode, Bella yawned.

"Time for bed?" I suggested, and she nodded.

"Sounds like a good idea," she agreed, getting to her feet and pulling me along towards the stairs. "Not that I have any intention to sleep." She wagged her eyebrows suggestively at me.

"Oh really?" I pulled her to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and leaned down and kissed her. She stepped closer, but I pulled back, earning an almost irresistible pout. "And what did you have in mind?" I wondered, quite unnecessary.

"How about if I show you?"

**Bella**

"I'd like that." Edward voice in my ear sent shivers down my spine and for a moment, like so many times when he was close to me like this, I lost my ability to think straight. Would I ever get used to the effect he had on me?

Shaking my head to get my mind to start working again, I hooked my finger in a loop on his jeans and pulled him closer. I used the other hand to unbutton a couple of buttons on is shirt and then let my fingers explore the plains of his chest that were now exposed. He leaned into my touch, and I heard his breathing accelerate. I wasn't the only affected… I smiled.

I let my lips follow the trail my hand had made over his chest while I tugged at the shirt and – finally! – got it out of his jeans. He made an attempt to grab the hem of my top, but I slapped his hands away.

"I'm in charge tonight," I whispered in his ear. I had found Alice's note where she'd said she would leave it; in the fridge. Everything was set upstairs, I just needed to get him there. And if I let him take control, I had no doubt that we wouldn't make it up the stairs… Normally, I wouldn't mind that, but tonight was special.

"I like the sound of that," he mumbled back, leaning in for another kiss. I willingly kissed him back and went along when he pushed me up against the wall. I still had a few minutes to kill, it wasn't midnight yet.

Of course, I should have remembered that I'd quickly lose control of my thoughts when he kissed me like that. When his lips left mine and traveled down the side of my throat, the only thing my mind was preoccupied with was getting him out of the offensive clothes. My hands tugged at the still buttoned buttons on his shirt of their own accord. When I finally got the last one of them open, I heard a weird beeping sound and managed to unscramble my brain long enough to remember my initial plan.

It was Edward's watch, announcing that it was midnight. Time to go.

"Hey," I pulled his face up to mine; quite the feat, considering his lips were doing heavenly things to the skin just below my collar bone. "I think I remember saying something about me being in charge tonight?"

He chuckled, but didn't try to test my resolve, which was a good thing. The odds were pretty good that I'd cave, which he must know.

At that moment, I heard the music coming from the second floor. Alice had set the stereo in our bedroom to turn on at a minute after midnight. Edward frowned at the sound.

"Why is there music on upstairs?" he wondered suspiciously, but I ignored his question.

"Come on." I took his hand and pulled him with me up the stairs. After a few steps, I could see the flickering light coming from the candles Alice had been instructed to light in the upstairs hallway.

When we got upstairs, I had to shoot a look at Edward. His eyes were wide.

"What is all this?"

"Happy anniversary," I whispered in his ear before placing a kiss on the sensitive skin beneath it.

"When did you…" his question trailed off into a low moan when my lips parted over his collar bone and my tongue came out to taste him.

"Alice," I mumbled against his skin.

"Figures," he managed to get out before I reclaimed his lips. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, and felt his hands travel down my back. A moment later, he lifted me up and I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist. So close, and still much too far apart…

I tugged his shirt off, and finally had him at least half-naked. I'd have to work on the rest… But his lips on mine distracted me, and for a moment I just relished in the feeling of kissing him.

I was vaguely aware that he started moving, and when I heard the bedroom door close behind us, I reluctantly pulled back from him to check Alice's work quickly.

"What do you think?" I asked a little self consciously.

There were lit candles on every flat surface and rose petals on the bed. The doors to the balcony were open, letting in the still surprisingly warm night air. _Hallelujah_ was on very quietly, making Jeff Buckley's voice no more than background noise.

I had tried to recreate our wedding night last year.

_After we had checked in to the hotel and had dinner, Edward suggested that I take Lily out to discover the boardwalk. I found his idea a little weird; it was our wedding night after all, we had already agreed that Lily would sleep in Alice and Jasper's room so that we could have some time alone. And he wanted me to leave?_

_But since he insisted, saying that he was a little worn out after the long day and was going to take a shower and rest a little so that he wouldn't be too tired for the rest of our night, I agreed. _

_Lily, Alice and I strolled up and down the boardwalk for over an hour. Every time I suggested going back to the hotel, Alice spotted some store she absolutely had to go in to, or an ice cream stand or something else equally vital. After a while, I started wondering if she had come along to keep me away for a specific amount of time…_

_When we finally got back to the hotel, I walked back to Alice and Jasper's room to say goodnight to Lily and then I headed off to mine and Edward's room. _

_When I stuck the key card in the slot, I heard faint music coming from inside the room. I recognized Jeff Buckley's voice, and smiled. The memory of Alice's little set-up in Port Angeles so many years ago flooded my mind. _

_I opened the door, and there he was. He was standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by dozens of lit candles. I vaguely noted the bed next to him, covered in red rose petals, and the warm air drifting in through the open window behind him. But most of all, I saw him. _

_I took a tentative step into the room, and he met me just inside the door._

"_Do you like it?" he wondered, sounding a little nervous._

"_It's amazing," I mumbled back. "So Alice _was_ trying to keep me away." He chuckled at my deduction._

"_Sorry about that, but I wanted it to be a surprise."_

"_Well, consider me surprised."_

I pulled myself out of my walk down memory lane and noticed that Edward had still to say something.

"Well?" I pressed on, getting even more nervous.

"It's amazing," he told me, possibly repeating my words from a year ago. "Consider me surprised."

I smiled in relief at his words.

"But you do realize that we will have to clean up the rose petals ourselves this time?" he pointed out, wrapping his arms even tighter around me. "No maid service here. And they did leave quite a mess last time."

I laughed at the memory. There had been rose petals all over the floor of our hotel room.

"I think we can deal with that."

His lips found mine again, and I felt like I was drowning in his kiss. I never wanted to resurface.

I felt him move, and heard him pull the coverlet off the bed.

"There goes the rose petals," I mumbled against his lips.

"They've fulfilled their purpose."

He lowered me onto the bed, quickly lying down on top of me. Our lips continued to dance together.

I gave him a moment, then I rolled us around so that I was on top.

"Again, you seem a little confused about who's in charge here," I said with a smile.

He looked at me through narrowed eyes for a moment, then let his arms fall down on the bed.

"I'm at your mercy," he surrendered.

"Very good." I leaned in, pausing a fraction of an inch before our lips met. "Now keep that in mind."

I kissed him, lightly at first, then harder. His response was instantaneous, and our tongues started moving together. After a moment, I felt his hands on my hips. I was about to object, telling him to keep them on the bed, but then they trailed up under my top, his fingertips lightly caressing the skin at my waist, and I decided that this could be allowed.

"Too many clothes," he mumbled when I pulled back for a much needed breather.

"You think so?"

I shifted on top of him so that I was straddling his waist and sat up to take off my top before leaning in for another kiss. In this new position, I could feel him – _all_ of him – against me, and I smiled. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one who was affected by being this close.

Our kisses grew more and more fervent, and I felt him tug at the clasp of my bra. When he managed to undo it, I quickly let it fall to the floor next to the bed. He pulled me closer, our chests skin to skin, and his right hand left its hold on my back to caress the side of my breast. I pulled back a little and drew in a ragged breath, which he mirrored.

I had somehow lost control of the situation. I had planned on teasing him a little, making him beg for it, and now…

From the look in his eyes and the way he clung to me, he was in no more control than I was. I decided to drop the game and just go with the moment.

When our lips met again, I let my hands travel down his chest to his jeans. I tugged for a moment on the reluctant button before finally getting it open, quickly continuing with the zipper. I sat back on the bed and pulled off his jeans and underwear in one movement, keeping my eyes on his the entire time. Then I quickly removed the rest of my own clothes before crawling back up his body and kissing him once more.

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me down on top of him until every inch of my skin touched every inch of his. I could feel him, so close to where I wanted him, yet not close enough.

Impatiently, I pressed myself closer, rubbing against him. He groaned into my mouth, his hands moving to my hips to hold me there. But I wanted more than that.

I managed to pull back a little, despite his grip on me, and let one hand sneak between our bodies. Before I reached my goal, I broke the kiss so I was able to look him in the eye. Then I let one fingernail trail lightly up the length of him, and watched as he sucked in a breath.

"You'll be the death of me," he all but growled, pulling me back into the kiss.

"But what a way to go," I mumbled against his lips as I closed my hand around him and shifted a little so that he was in the perfect position. I slowly slid down until I surrounded him completely, and then I paused.

I could feel his heart beat against mine, their rhythms almost identical. At the exact same time, we both let out a sigh of relief. It always hit me, when we were together like this, how perfectly we fit together, in every way, body and soul. We were like matching pieces of a puzzle, neither complete without the other.

I waited until our heart rates had slowed a little and our breathing had gone back to close to normal before I started to move. His hands once again gripped my hips as I slowly moved around him, our lips always touching. He didn't try to speed up my movements, seeming content to go at my pace, at least for the moment.

I felt the tension starting to build inside me, like a slow burning fire spreading from my core to every inch of me. Though I wanted to prolong the moment, I also wanted to give in to the fire, to feel it consume me completely. _We have all night,_ a little voice inside me whispered, making the decision for me. I started moving faster, rubbing against him harder on each downward movement. The fire rose, rose inside me, blazing behind my eyelids. Finally, it exploded in a firework so powerful it took my breath away. For a moment, all I could do was give in to it.

When I started coming down, I became aware of Edward's arms around me, holding my limp body close to his, our lips still pressed together. I realized I was still moving, slowly again, and felt his hips came up to meet mine. Knowing I wouldn't be able to do much for him at the moment, I rolled onto my back, pulling him with me.

The weight of his body on mine should probably have been uncomfortable, but the only thing I could think was that I wanted him even closer, harder against me. When he pulled back a little so as not to crush me, I missed his touch desperately.

His lips didn't leave mine, though, and I focused on that along with our joined bodies. He started moving faster, and I could sense that he was close. I wrapped my left leg around his waist and used the other to push against his every move. He moaned into my mouth at the new angle, and moved faster, going deeper with every thrust. I could feel the fire inside me flicker a little, and wondered if I would ever get enough of him. Probably not.

After a moment, his breathing became even more ragged and uneven, and then I felt him freeze above me, convulsing inside me. I pulled him to me, our bodies touching in every possible way, and kissed him while he came down.

Little by little, his breathing started to slow, and he rolled us again. I reached out behind me and pulled the cover over us. The night air suddenly felt chilly against my hot skin.

"Wow," I mumbled when I was certain that my voice would hold.

"I'll second that," he murmured back, kissing my forehead.

"And here I was a little worried that you would be one of those guys who would be hesitant about having sex while I was pregnant."

He chuckled.

"My father's a doctor, remember?" he pointed out.

"Oh, so this is the kind of conversation you have at the dinner table?" I teased.

"Not exactly." His hands were moving up and down my back in a somewhat soothing motion, making it hard to pay attention to what he was saying. My eyelids started to slide closed of their own accord. "Emmett was a little worried, when Rosalie was pregnant with Noah, and I happened to be there when he asked Carlisle about it, so I'm not concerned."

"Good." I was struggling to stay awake now, suppressing a yawn. "Because the whole thing about pregnancy making you horny? Completely true. And I plan on making you make up for missing out on that last time."

"Whatever you want."

I smiled happily at his words. He said something else, but I didn't catch it. I was practically asleep, floating on little fluffy clouds into my perfect dream.

**AN: Some fluff for you, hope you liked it. The title of the chapter is of course both an allusion to the baseball game and to the episode of **_**Sex and the City **_**with the same title.**


	4. 4 Anniversary

**AN: Another chapter for you guys – I hope you like it (let me know)!! I just want to say that school will be starting again on Monday, so I don't know how often I will be able to update from now on, but I will try to keep it as regular as possible. **

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own them. Not that I wouldn't want to… **

**4 – Anniversary**

**Bella**

In my semi-unconscious state, I was vaguely aware of a pleasant feeling, soft lips against my skin… I smiled, still mostly asleep.

After a moment, though, the lips were replaced by something much less pleasant… something soft touching my face in an irritating way… I wrinkled my nose against the offending thing and turned onto my side. But it followed me.

Other sensations were starting to creep into my mind as well. The sun on my back, a warm arm around my waist, someone close behind me… I reluctantly forced my eyes open.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Edward's voice came from behind me. "I thought you'd never wake up."

I realized what the annoying feeling had been; in his hand he held a small down feather.

"And you thought that tickling me awake was a good idea?" I questioned.

"Well, I tried with kisses first," he replied, chuckling a little. "You seemed very reluctant to wake up."

Right.

"What time is it anyway?" I asked, turning so I could see the alarm clock. When I saw that it read 10:25, I was shocked. I couldn't remember sleeping this late since… well, since before Lily was born, really. Children and mornings in bed weren't really compatible. But we didn't have to worry about that today.

"It's time for breakfast," Edward announced.

That's when I spotted the tray with pancakes, toast, orange juice and coffee at the foot of the bed.

"You made me breakfast in bed?" The idea made a few tears rise in my eyes, and I angrily tried to hold them back. Stupid hormones seemed to be even crazier this time around.

"I thought it was appropriate." Edward took the tray and put it down between us. "Coffee?" I took the mug he held out for me and gulped down half the contents at once.

"That's more like it," I said when the caffeine had pushed last remnants of sleep from my mind. "Good morning." I leaned over to give him a kiss, which he happily returned. When my stomach started growling, he pulled back.

"I think you need some food," he pointed out, and I quickly stuffed some toast in my mouth. I was really hungry.

We ate in silence for a moment, the only sound coming from birds in the back yard. When we had finished all the food, Edward took the tray and put it on the floor before getting out of the bed. I pouted a little.

"I thought the whole point of Lily staying over at Catie's was that we didn't have to get up," I grumbled. "I thought we could spend the entire day in bed."

He turned around to face me.

"As tempting as that sounds, I do have plans today."

My face fell a little at his words. Plans? But it was our anniversary, why would he make plans?

"Don't let me hold you up, then," I muttered, curling back up under the covers and pulling them up to my chin. He frowned at me, then an understanding smile spread on his face and he knelt down on the bed.

"Maybe I should say _we_ have plans today," he rectified, giving me a quick kiss. I liked the sound of that better, but still…

"We do?"

"Yes, we do." He pulled away and again got up from the bed.

"Am I supposed to be aware of these plans?" I asked warily. I had a hard time believing that I would have forgotten.

"Well, no, not exactly," he admitted.

"And why is that?"

"It's a surprise," he said with a knowing smile. He was well aware of how I would react.

"You know I hate surprises," I pointed out.

"I know, but you are going to have to get over that, because I plan on surprising you frequently in the next fifty years or so."

I huffed, but threw the covers aside. I was a little curious about what he had in store for me, but I wasn't about to let him know that. If he suspected that I didn't really hate surprised as much as I let on, I would never see the end of it.

"Can I at least get a hint?" I asked dryly. "What should I wear?"

"Whatever you like," he replied, apparently enjoying keeping me in the dark. "But the weather is supposed to be nice today, so you might want to skip the winter coat."

"We're going to be outside then?"

He just laughed at my question and disappeared into the bathroom.

For a moment I considered joining him in the shower, but then I decided that he could suffer at least a little for pulling this surprise thing on me. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and grabbed the breakfast tray before heading downstairs. I hated procrastinating dishes; might as well put them in the dishwasher right away and get it over with.

I had finished loading the dishwasher, turned it on and was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper when Edward came down the stairs, hair still wet from the shower.

"Go take a shower, we need to leave soon," he told me, grabbing the sports section of the paper from the table.

I glared at him while I got up, but he ignored me, focusing on the paper. I trudged off upstairs and into the bathroom.

When I had gotten dressed, I stood for a moment by my side of the bed. If this was some sort of anniversary celebration, I should probably bring the present I had bought for him… I got it out of the bedside table and put it into my purse before going back downstairs.

"Ready to go?" Edward wondered when I came into the kitchen.

"Do I have a choice?" I decided to grumble just a little bit more.

"Nope," he happily replied, grabbing the car keys from the counter and going out through the door to the garage.

I followed him and got into the Camaro's passenger seat. He didn't get to drive it that much these days, and took every chance he got to 'take it out for a spin', as he put it.

I looked out the window as he drove through the city, trying to figure out where we were going. When he pulled into the street where Alice and Jasper lived, I frowned.

"We're going to Alice and Jasper's?" I asked incredulously. What kind of anniversary celebration could he have planned for us there?

"No, we're just parking here," he told me, pulling into the lot by their building. "We're going the rest of the way on foot."

I obediently got out of the car when he had turned the engine off and watched as he went to the trunk where he got what looked like a picnic basket. I didn't even know we owned a picnic basket.

"What's in that?" I asked suspiciously.

"You'll see in just a moment," he replied cryptically, taking off down the street in the direction of the park without waiting to see if I was following or not. I sighed and hurried to catch up with him. Might as well go along with whatever he had planned.

When we got to the park, he left the path and went down on the beach. He put the basket down and took out a blanket, which he spread on the sand. Plastic containers with food, forks, glasses and a bottle of nonalcoholic wine followed the blanket.

I watched as he arranged everything, and a smile started spreading on my face. When he was done, he looked up at me. When he saw me smiling, he seemed to visibly relax.

"Lunch is served," he said, gesturing to the blanket.

"This is absolutely perfect," I told him, sitting down across from him. "You even got the weather to cooperate, not bad!"

"Yeah, me and Mother Nature had a serious talk the other day," he joked.

I accepted the plastic wineglass he offered me and took a sip. I had never tried nonalcoholic wine before, but it was actually pretty good.

"We have salad and sandwiches." He held up a plastic container with salad and a sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap.

"Salad, please."

He took the lid off the plastic box and gave it to me, then unwrapped the sandwich for himself.

"It might not rate high in the Zagat guide," he said, shrugging. "But the view's nice."

"Are you kidding? It's perfect!"

"Really?" He sounded relieved. "I actually wanted to drive up to Forks and take you back to the meadow, but with the limited time, I thought I'd settle for recreating that day here."

The memory of that day brought a smile to my face. It had been the first time he told me he loved me. And, also, the first time for other things…

"You are aware that we won't be able to fully recreate that day here, right?" I noted suggestively.

"Whatever do you mean?" he wondered, leaning in for a kiss. I returned it for a moment and then pulled away to focus on my food. The chicken salad was really good.

"When did you do all this?" I wondered, repeating his almost articulated question from last night.

"You slept late," he replied, shrugging.

"Were you up at the crack of dawn to fix everything?"

"Not quite that early."

I finished the last of the salad and took another sip of the wine.

"It was delicious," I announced.

"Wait, there's more," he said, rummaging through the picnic basket. "It won't be complete without…" He held up another plastic container.

"Strawberries!"

"Yep."

He handed me the box and started packing the other stuff away, leaving the wine bottle and glasses on the blanket. When he was done, he moved to sit next to me and poured some more wine in my glass.

"They say that you should have strawberries and champagne together. I'm not sure if wine actually works, but I couldn't find any nonalcoholic champagne at the store," he explained.

"It's still perfect," I assured him, leaning my head against his shoulder. He put his arm around my waist and sighed.

"You really like it?"

"I love it."

"Good. I was a little worried with the way you usually react to surprises."

"I guess I can make an exception, but just this once," I teased.

"Thanks ever so."

**Edward**

We sat looking out over the water for a long time, just enjoying the sun and being alone together. After a while, Bella looked at her watch and frowned.

"What?"

"It's after two, I just thought that Donna would have called by now," she explained.

"Well, she's sort of in on this," I admitted. "She's taking the kids to McDonalds for dinner, so she'll drop Lily off after that. Not until seven or something like that."

"You planned everything, didn't you?"

"Of course. And speaking of planning…" I dug through the picnic basket until I found the box with the earrings. "Happy anniversary." I held out the little wrapped box, and she took it.

"Hang on." She didn't open the present, but took something out of her purse and handed it to me. It was a rectangular, flat box. "Happy anniversary," she used my words.

"Thank you." I pulled her in for a kiss. "But you didn't have to get me anything."

"Look who's talking." She held up the box I had given her.

"But I already have you; I don't need anything else," I clarified.

"I could say the same."

I studied her for a moment. She would never get the fact that I was the lucky one in our relationship.

"Let's just open them, shall we?" I suggested.

She nodded and eagerly tore off the wrapping paper. I watched as she opened the box and her eyes went wide.

"They're beautiful," she mumbled, touching the glittering gem in one of the earrings. Suddenly, she looked up at me through narrowed eyes. "These aren't diamonds, are they?"

"Of course not," I lied smoothly. She'd never have to know.

"You haven't opened yours," she said with a frown, spotting the still untouched box in my hands. "Go on."

I removed the wrapping paper carefully, and opened the box.

"They're really for me, too, so I don't know if you can technically call it a present, but I didn't know what…"

I cut her off with a kiss.

"It's perfect," I assured her, taking the concert tickets out of the box. "You know I've been wanting to see Coldplay since I missed their last US tour. Getting to take you with me is just a bonus."

"I'm glad," she said with a relieved sigh.

"Lie down with me," I requested, lying down on the blanket. She followed my lead, and I put my arm under her head. "Let's just be for a while, before we have to get back to reality."

"That sounds good," she agreed willingly, gazing up at the blue sky above us.

We stayed on the beach until five, and then we stopped at Ray's Boathouse for dinner. Bella loved their food, but wouldn't let me take her there very often, because she thought it was too expensive. I had called several weeks ago, making sure that we got one of their best tables right by the windows.

"So," I started as we drove towards home. "Have you changed your mind about surprises?"

"In general, no." Bella thought for a moment. "But I think I might be able to get used to your surprises. Once every now and then."

"I'm glad," I said, chuckling.

"Why?" She looked at me like a deer caught in headlights. "You don't have anything more planned, do you?"

"As much as I would love to say yes, no, I don't," I admitted.

"Oh thank God!" Bella exclaimed. "I can only take so much in one day."

"I'll try to keep that in mind, plan any future surprises so that you'll have the chance to recover between them," I teased.

We were on our street now, and just as I was about to pull into the drive, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hi there, how's the anniversary going?"_ Donna's voice came over the line.

"It's going great, we actually just got home."

"_Good, then I'll swing by and drop Lily off on our way home, we're just leaving McDonalds."_

"That sounds good, see you in a bit."

"_Bye."_

"Was that Donna?" Bella wondered when I had hung up.

"Yeah, they were just leaving McDonalds, so they should be here soon."

"Good," she said with a sigh. "I mean, not that I don't enjoy the alone time, but I miss my baby!"

I chuckled.

"I know what you mean."

Lily was bubbling with excitement when Donna and the kids had left; mainly due to the sugar in the soda she'd had with dinner, I suspected.

"Daddy, daddy, can we go camping?" she asked excitedly as soon as Bella closed the door after saying goodbye to Donna.

"Camping?" Bella wondered with an incredulous expression. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Catie and Cole are going camping with their dad next weekend, and I really, really, really want to go camping too, so can we? Please!"

"This one is all yours," Bella offered graciously. "I am not a camper."

"Well," I said, thinking for a moment. "How about if we stay a few days longer when we go up to Forks for Fourth of July? Then your uncles and grandpa Carlisle and grandpa Charlie could go with us."

"Yay!" Lily exclaimed. "Will you come with us too, mom? Please!"

"Oh no." Bella shook her head. "I don't sleep on the ground."

Lily wanted to start planning the camping trip right away, so we sat down at the kitchen table and made a list of things we needed to get. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Bella shaking her head at us every now and then, and couldn't help but smile. She was such a city girl.

Upon Lily's insistence, I also called Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper and Charlie to make sure that they would to go with us. Not that I had any doubt that they would; all of them would do anything Lily asked them.

With our upcoming camping trip completely planned, Lily went to bed with a big smile on her face.

Bella was sitting on the couch, reading a book. She looked up when I came down the stairs.

"Camping, really?" she asked disbelievingly when I sat down next to her.

"It'll be good for her, get into the open air, experience nature."

"Whatever you say."

"It'll be fun," I insisted. "We'll just stay out one night, make a campfire and grill hot dogs and marshmallows. You should come with us."

"I think I'll stay inside. Where it's warm and dry and without all the bugs." She wrinkled her nose at the prospect and I laughed.

"You're really not an outdoors kind of girl, are you?"

"Nope," she happily agreed. "Good thing you've got that covered, don't you think? And then I'll take the makeup and clothes issues in a few years."

"Sounds like a fair exchange to me."

"Great." She yawned. "I think I'll head up to bed, I'm beat."

"How can you be tired?" I wondered incredulously. "You slept until ten thirty this morning."

"It's not my fault!" she objected. "Being tired is just a part of the deal. Besides, unlike some…" She glared at me a little, "I actually have to get up in the morning."

"Right, I forgot that not everyone's on vacation," I teased, getting a slap on the arm. "You go get your beauty sleep, I'll be right there."

When Bella had disappeared upstairs, I went into the study and sat down in front of the computer, opening the internet browser.

When I had tried to educate myself on the subject of pregnancy on the internet the other day, I had been more or less attacked by different ads and commercials. I knew that Bella hadn't been able to get a lot of new things when Lily was born, and I wanted to make up for that.

I found a site that looked promising; furniture, strollers, car seats. I didn't want to order anything yet, I wanted Bella to get to decide, but I wrote down the names of the things I found interesting. We could look through the site together in a couple of months.

I turned off the computer and went upstairs to join Bella in bed.

She was already asleep when I entered the bedroom, and I smiled. She looked so peaceful, her features relaxed and her hair splayed out on the pillow. I quickly brushed my teeth and slipped into bed.

I stayed awake for over an hour, watching Bella sleep soundly next to me.

**Bella**

I loved my job. Really, I did. I just found it a little difficult to muster up the necessary enthusiasm when I knew that Edward and Lily were home all day, lounging in the back yard, playing games and just enjoying the sun that continued to shine down on Seattle.

Part of it was, as I very well knew, that I had started counting the days until my own vacation started. The Fourth of July weekend was coming up – I had managed to get Thursday and Friday off after the holiday, so I'd have five work-free days in a row – and then I worked three more weeks before starting my 'real' vacation. The five-day Fourth of July holiday had lost a little of its glory after it had been decided that Edward was taking Lily camping with Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Charlie that weekend. Ben had decided to join the party as well, so Angela and I were driving back to Seattle when the guys and Lily left Forks on Saturday morning.

I told myself that I could use the time alone to really pamper myself; cook the food I wanted to eat, watch the TV-shows I wanted to see, just do whatever I wanted to do for two whole days. That brightened my outlook a little. And Angela and I had decided to have a girls' night on Saturday, take advantage of the fact that our men were out in the woods. That meant lots and lots of ice cream, chick flicks and pizza.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Edward asked for the umpteenth time the Friday before Fourth of July. Lily was already in bed, and we were curled up on the couch, watching a movie. "I don't like the idea of you being here all alone the whole weekend."

"For the last time, I am not interested in sleeping on the ground and being the victim of blood thirsty mosquitoes," I repeated my earlier reasons for not going. "And I think I might manage to survive for two days!"

"Are you sure?" he retorted dryly. "With your luck, you'll fall down the stairs or leave the stove on and burn the house down."

I glared at him.

"That's not funny," I said grumpily.

"Uh-oh, someone's in a bad mood." Edward chuckled, and I glared at him some more.

It seemed that, on top of making me cry in all kinds of embarrassing situations, my pregnancy hormones had also decided to make me irrationally cranky. The fact that I was aware of this didn't help at all. And the fact that Edward was aware of this only made him tease me more.

"You know I'm just teasing you," he now told me.

I decided to let him stew for a little while, and ignored him, pretending to watch the movie intently.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his mouth closer to my ear than I had expected. I shivered involuntarily at the feel of his breath on my skin. "Will you forgive me if I bring you some ice cream?"

"I might," I graciously agreed, and he left for the kitchen.

When he came back, he had a bowl of ice cream in one hand and an apple in the other. I glared at the offending fruit.

"Humor me," he just said, handing me the apple while keeping the ice cream out of reach.

"Fine!" I took a big bite of the apple.

Over the past couple of weeks, he had been able to control his over protective tendencies surprisingly well. I could really live with the extra vegetables and fruit he insisted on buying – I knew that it was important for the baby that I kept a balanced diet – as well as the fact that he wouldn't let me do any household chores. When I had tried to move a box in the garage the other day, he had almost had a heart attack.

To be completely honest, his behavior was kind of cute, and I loved watching him being a little over protective. The key word being _little_. So far, he had managed not to overdo it, even if I had no doubt that he would get worse as the pregnancy proceeded.

I quickly finished the apple and held out my hand for the ice cream.

"Your favorite." He gave me the bowl. "I thought it was best to stock the fridge last time we went to the super market, since you go through them so fast, so I bought about ten tubs."

My previous anger completely evaporated.

"Thank you!" I said sincerely and gave him a kiss.

"Mmmm," he licked his lips. "Chocolate!"

I laughed at that and moved a little on the couch, so I was snuggled up against him, and he put an arm around my shoulder.

"I take it I'm forgiven?" he assumed.

"Just don't do it again," I replied.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

xxxxx

The day before Fourth of July, I met up with Donna for lunch.

"So, how are the plans for the big camping trip going?" she asked when we had gotten our food.

"Don't remind me!" I complained. "I try to stay as far away from all of that as possible. But Lily's ecstatic, of course."

"Catie and Cole had a great time with their dad this weekend," she told me. "I'm sure Lily will too."

"I just hope she hasn't gotten her wilderness skills from me," I contemplated out loud. "Because if she did, they'll be back in Forks by lunch time on Saturday."

Donna laughed at that.

"Is it really that bad?"

"Charlie tried to get me into the whole thing when I was a kid, but I just never got the point of sleeping on the ground, using a hole in the ground as a toilet and building your own fire." I shrugged. "I prefer a nice comfortable bed, an actual bathroom and a fully equipped kitchen, thank you very much."

"Not a friend of Mother Nature, are you?"

"As long as I get to experience her from a twenty-first century perspective, I'm all good."

"As in on television?"

We both laughed.

"Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy being out in nature," I continued. "I mean, Edward and I went hiking a couple of times back when we lived in Forks. But it was usually the place we were going to that made it worth the trip." I tried to keep the blush off my face, but the memory of 'our' meadow made it very difficult.

"I sense a story, do tell!" Donna encouraged, leaning over the table.

"No, it's nothing." I shook my head. "There's just this place in the woods up there, far from all the trails. It's a completely circular meadow, covered in wild flowers in the summer. It's beautiful."

"You're blushing over a beautiful place in the woods?" Donna questioned. "Why don't I believe that?"

"Fine." I looked around, making sure nobody was close enough to hear our conversation. I still dropped my voice a little when I continued. "Edward took me there when we had been dating for a couple of months back in high school, and that's where he told me he loved me for the first time. And then…" I looked away, my face getting even hotter.

"Aha, got it. Don't need any details."

"Thank you," I said dryly.

"So, when are you driving up to Forks?" Donna wondered, changing the subject. I let out sigh of relief.

"As soon as I get home," I replied. "Hopefully, I'll be able to leave a little earlier than usual. The drive does take a while."

"The people of Forks go all out for Fourth of July, don't they?"

"They do," I said, nodding. "It's this whole traditional celebration, with a parade and fireworks and lots of other stuff. It's usually a lot of fun. Are you guys doing anything special?"

"Nothing big." Donna shrugged. "I promised the kids we'd go to Fort Dent Park, they have a bunch of activities the whole day. And of course watch the fireworks at night."

"Are your parents coming up from San Francisco?"

"Yeah, they're flying in tonight, actually." She smiled. "They haven't seen the kids since spring break, so it'll be fun. Are your mom and Phil coming to Forks?"

"No, Phil couldn't get enough time off from work," I replied. "They're coming here for two weeks in August instead."

"That should be fun."

We continued talking about this and that while we finished lunch.

xxxxx

I was able to leave the office at three, and was home at three fifteen. When I got there, the garage door was open and Edward and Lily were in the driveway, packing the Volvo for our trip. By the look of it, everything was pretty much done. I drove the BMW into the garage; though the neighborhood was safe, there was no reason to leave the car unguarded in the driveway for three days.

"Well, aren't you two efficient?" I noted when I had gotten out of the car.

"Mommy!" Lily exclaimed, her face lighting up in a smile. "We've packed the tent, and the sleeping bags, and the food in metal cans and a bunch of other stuff!"

"That's great, baby," I told her, ruffling her hair as I passed her. "Good job!"

"Might as well get something done while we waited for you to get home," Edward said, shrugging. He put one last bag into the trunk and closed it. "Done."

"My stuff's all there too?" I had packed my bag before going to work this morning so that we could leave as soon as I got home.

"Everything's ready to go," he confirmed.

"OK, I just need to change and grab an apple or something, and then we can go."

Edward and Lily followed me into the house, waiting in the kitchen while I went upstairs to change into something more comfortable – we did have a three and a half hour drive in front of us.

When I came back downstairs, they were both sitting at the kitchen table, looking as impatient as only the two of them could. Their expressions were almost identical, and I had to laugh.

"I guess I could take the apple with me in the car," I said, and watched as they both relaxed.

Lily jumped off her chair and practically bounced out of the house.

"Someone's eager to leave," I noted quietly as Edward and I followed her outside. She had already climbed into the back seat and put her seatbelt on.

"Not all of us share your dislike of the outdoors," he teased me.

"It's not that I dislike it so much as I prefer watching it from the comforts of my own home," I corrected.

"City slicker."

"Nature freak."

We got into the car and pulled out of the driveway. I turned the radio to a station with oldies, and rolled my window down. I wanted to enjoy the warm summer air before we got on the highway.

Lily was babbling away about the camping trip in the backseat, and I half listened to her while relishing in the sun that was shining in through the window. When we got on the highway, I reluctantly rolled the window back up.

Fifteen minutes later, I noticed that it was very quiet in the car, apart from the music coming from the speakers. I turned around in my seat and smiled when I saw that Lily had fallen asleep, head against the window and mouth hanging open. She had been out of bed before even I got up this morning, wanting to get ready for our trip, and was bound to be tired by now.

"She's been completely hyper all day," Edward noted, shaking his head. "I'm surprised she didn't crash as soon as she got in the car, actually."

"She's just excited about the camping trip." I turned back around and leaned against the seat. "I hope you're prepared for the weekend."

"Did you see all the packing?" he wondered incredulously. "We could stay away for weeks without a problem."

"That's not what I meant," I replied. "I was referring to the fact that Lily might be all excited now, but that could change when you're actually there. She's got this romanticized image of what camping is like."

"You're worried that she won't like it?"

"I'm just saying it's a possibility."

"Well, if that happens, we'll just head back to Forks and camp out in the back yard," he concluded.

"That actually sounds like a great idea," I admitted.

"I'm glad you think so," he said with a smirk. "But she is going to love it."

"I just want you to be prepared for all possibilities."

"Thank you."

We drove in silence for a while.

"So…" he started a little later. "I was thinking…"

"Never a good sign," I interrupted.

"Very funny. Anyway, I was thinking that we might… you know, tell them," he suggested with a nervous glance my way. "This weekend, I mean."

"Oh." I bit my lip. "I guess… but it's still really early, you know. I don't want to jinx anything. I'm sorry."

"No, I totally get that," he quickly assured me. "I just thought… but you're right. We should wait a little longer."

"Thank you." I squeezed his hand.

I wasn't quite sure why I was so hesitant to tell our families. Sure, there was always a risk that something would go wrong at this stage, but that had been true when I was pregnant with Lily as well, and I had still told my parents and Angela as soon as I found out.

Maybe I just liked the fact that Edward and I were the only ones who knew, that it was _our_ thing. Our families and friends would find out soon enough.


	5. 5 Camping

**AN: OK, here's chapter five! I am going to post a warning at the beginning of this chapter, because a difficult subject will be brought up. Just wanted to let you know. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Here we go again – no, they are not mine!**

**5 – Camping **

**Bella **

As we got closer and closer to Forks, I started looking out the windshield suspiciously, practically convinced that, at some point, the clouds would come out of nowhere and cover the sky. This was _Forks_ we were talking about, after all.

But the sky was still a beautiful shade of blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight when we got to the house. Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the porch swing, probably waiting for us. When she spotted the car, Esme jumped up and hurried down the steps.

"Hi guys," she greeted us as soon as we got out of the car. "It's so good to have you here. Dinner's in the oven, it should be ready in a few minutes."

"It's good to be here," I replied, giving her a hug. And it was. Over the past couple of years, I had started enjoy these trips more and more. Not that I didn't like living in Seattle – I loved being in the middle of the pulsing city, having everything within walking distance. But Forks was a nice breather at times, a way to get away from everything for only a little while. And Esme's cooking for three straight days was a very nice bonus.

"Ah, she's asleep," Esme noted, opening the door to the back seat. "Lily, honey, wake up!" She shook Lily's shoulder lightly.

"Grandma?" Lily rubbed her eyes.

"Hi, sweetie!"

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle greeted coming down the stairs. "I hope the drive was alright?"

"It was long, but other than that it was fine."

I opened the trunk to get my bag, but Edward beat me to it.

"I'll get that," he said pointedly. "Why don't you take Lily inside, dad and I will get the stuff."

I glared at him a little – I was perfectly capable of carrying my own bag. But I did as he told me, taking Lily, who hadn't quite woken up yet, by the hand and following Esme into the house.

Emmett and Rosalie were already there, watching television in the living room. Noah was playing with his cars on the floor in the dining room, and Lily immediately sat down opposite him on the rug. I joined Emmett and Rose on the couch.

"Must be good to get away from the office for a while?" Rosalie said after we had gone through the greetings. Emmett was completely engrossed in the basketball game on the TV.

"Definitely," I agreed. "But I've got three whole weeks of work after the holiday before my actual vacation starts, unfortunately."

"I have three and a half weeks off, starting today," she told me with a smile.

"Lucky you!"

"How long do you get off?" she wondered.

"Four weeks, believe it or not. My boss was feeling extra generous this year." I beamed. I planned on enjoying every single one of my days off. "Are you planning on doing anything special?"

"We have actually been talking about Disney World," she replied. "But I don't know if Noah's old enough to actually appreciate it, and what's the fun if he doesn't, right?"

"It might be better to wait a year or two," I suggested. "I know Lily had a blast when we went there, but he's just three."

"That's what I said too. But _someone_ said that it wasn't a problem, that he'd be able to go on lots of rides." She shot a glance at Emmett. "I think he just wants an excuse to go himself."

"I heard that," Emmett complained, still focused on the television.

"That'd be a first," Rosalie mumbled quietly. "He never hears a word I say when the TV's on."

"Sure I do," Emmett said with a smirk. "I just pretend not to, so that I won't have to pay attention to what you're saying." Rosalie just stared at him for a moment, then punched him in the arm.

"You know that you've given it away now, right?" Edward pointed out, coming down the stairs after having put our bags in our rooms.

"I can live with that." Emmett shrugged.

"OK, dinner's ready," Esme announced from the kitchen.

"Alice and Jasper aren't here yet?" Edward wondered as we all sat down at the table.

"No, Jasper got held up at work," Carlisle replied, checking his watch. "They should be leaving Seattle now. Alice doesn't want to miss the parade tomorrow."

"Of course she doesn't," Emmett said, chuckling. "I don't know what it is with her and that parade."

"Don't tease your sister when she's not here to defend herself," Esme chided him.

The playful banter continued through dinner.

**Edward**

"I don't want to go to bed, I'm not tired!" Lily announced at nine thirty. It was already half an hour after her bedtime. "I want to stay up to see aunt Alice and uncle Jasper."

"Of course you're not tired, you slept three hours in the car on the way here!" I pointed out. "But that doesn't mean that you can stay up after your bedtime."

She glared up at me, crossed her arms over her chest and resolutely sat back down on the couch. I had to suppress a laugh; she looked so much like Bella when she did that.

"Why don't you go up to bed and read for a while?" Bella suggested, trying to mediate. "You don't have to turn off the lights right away."

Lily contemplated this for a moment.

"Fine!" she finally agreed, trying not to let on that she wouldn't mind going to bed if it meant that she would get to read. She loved reading.

"Night grandma." She gave Esme a hug.

"Goodnight darling."

She continued with Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie and Bella, and then shot me an annoyed look and stomped off up the stairs.

"Uh-oh," Emmett said. "You're in trouble!"

I sighed and got up off the couch.

"I'll be right back."

I walked after Lily up to the third floor and waited for her to get out of the bathroom. I heard her brush her teeth through the door. When she was finished, she came out and walked right past me into her bedroom.

"I'm sorry, princess," I said as I followed her – at least she hadn't slammed the door in my face. Just wait a few years…

She ignored me, getting into the bed and grabbing her book from the bedside table. I took it from her hands and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Look, I know that you don't like it when your mom and I tell you to go to bed or do something else that you don't want to do, but we only do it because we love you," I tried to reason with her. "I just don't want you to be too tired to enjoy the day tomorrow."

She sighed.

"OK."

"You're not mad at me?" I asked, and she shook her head. "Then can I get a good-night hug?"

I held out my arms, and she willingly crawled into them, wrapping hers tight around my neck. These were the moments that made everything else worthwhile.

"I love you, princess," I mumbled into her ear.

"I love you too, daddy."

xxxxx

We all had a blast on Fourth of July. Lily was in the Kiddies Parade with Madison, a girl that lived next door to Charlie and who Lily used to play with when we were here. Ben, Angela, Charlie, Sue, Seth, Leah and Jake and his dad, Billy, joined us for that as well as the Grand Parade. After it was over, we all went back to the house and had a barbecue in the back yard. Might as well take advantage of the amazing weather – you never knew when that would happen again. Later in the evening, we went to Tillicum Park to watch the annual fireworks.

On Thursday, we went to La Push and First Beach – unfortunately, it seemed like most of Forks had had the same idea. That was one of the downsides of the Olympic Peninsula; because people were so used to the rain, they always made the most of the few sunny days there was, aware that it might be the last in a long time. We still had fun, even if we had to share the beach with a bunch of other people.

When we got up on Friday, it was raining. Bella gave me a pointed look when she saw Lily frown at the weather while we were eating breakfast.

"We can still go camping, even if it's raining, right dad?" Lily wondered after a moment, and I shot Bella a triumphant smile.

"Sure we can, princess," I assured her. "You're not afraid of getting a little wet, are you?"

"It's just water," she replied, shrugging.

That's my girl.

It stopped raining later that day, but it was still cloudy on Saturday afternoon.

"Are you sure you don't want to change your mind?" I asked Bella, for the last time, when we were about to leave.

"I wasn't interested when there was a possibility of nice weather, why on earth would I change my mind when it's raining?" she wondered dryly.

"It's not raining," I pointed out, unnecessarily. We were outside.

"It will," she predicted, looking up at the dark sky. She was probably right. I just hoped it wouldn't start until we had gotten the tents up. "No, I prefer my girls' night with Angela, in my own dry, warm, comfortable home."

"Suit yourself." I shrugged. "But I'm telling you right now, you'll miss out on something."

"I think I'll be able to survive," she replied dryly.

"OK, that was your last shot."

"Just go."

"Going." I opened the door and got in the driver's seat. "You can call me, OK? I'm not sure the reception will be very good, but I'll keep my phone on anyway."

"I'll be fine," she assured me.

I knew that, of course. I still didn't like leaving her all alone for two days.

OK, get a grip!

"See you tomorrow night." I closed the door and started the car.

"Bye!"

I waved once before driving down the road towards the highway. In the rearview mirror, I saw Bella in the front yard, watching the car until it disappeared around a bend.

We were going to Bogachiel State Park, so the drive didn't take long. We paid and got directions to the group camp, where we would be pitching our tents. I noticed that Lily got more and more excited the closer we got, and by the time we finally parked by the camp site, she was practically bouncing up and down in her seat. She unfastened her seatbelt as soon as the car wasn't moving anymore, threw the door open and jumped out.

"This is so cool!" I heard her say when I closed the driver's door behind me.

There were already two tents in the open space we had been assigned to. We had brought two smaller tents, one for Emmett and Jasper and one for Charlie and Carlisle, and Ben, Lily and I would be sleeping in a larger one.

Lily immediately went to the trunk of the car and struggled to get it opened. I went to help her, popping it open. She grabbed the tent and tried to haul it out of the trunk, but it was a little too heavy for her. I took the tent myself and handed her the two sleeping bags instead – they hardly weighed anything.

Lily tried to help as much as she could while the rest of us pitched the tents – she was really more of a hindrance than a help, but she was so excited I couldn't bear to tell her to just watch.

Though it took a little longer than it might have, we got the tents up at last, and Lily crawled into ours.

"This is so cool!" she exclaimed again. She had started using that expression more and more lately.

I crouched down at the tent opening and held out the sleeping bags for her.

"Put these out in there," I instructed, and she did as I said. She emerged from the tent a moment later.

"Can we go fishing?" she asked excitedly.

I wondered at her question for a moment; she had never expressed an interest in going fishing with Charlie and me before, and we went out almost every time we were in Forks. I figured she considered it a part of the whole camping experience.

"Sure, let me just get the rods from the car." Luckily, Charlie had gotten Lily a fishing rod a few years ago, in hopes of taking her with him on one of his fishing outings. So far, it had stayed unused in the closet beneath the stairs at his place, but he'd had the presence of mind to bring it today.

I got the three rods out of the trunk and also grabbed the tackle box.

"Charlie, you coming with us?" I called to him where he and Carlisle were standing by their tent. "Fishing expedition."

"Sure thing."

The three of us took off in the direction of the river.

It took almost an hour to teach Lily how to use her rod, and we didn't catch any fish, but she had a good time. It was almost six by the time we got back to the campsite and found that the others had gotten a fire going.

"There you are!" Emmett exclaimed. "I was about to go looking for you, we were starting to wonder if you'd been eaten by a bear or something."

"There are bears here?" Lily wondered nervously, and I shot Emmett a dirty look.

"Of course not, princess." There were bears in the area, but they never came close to the campsite. There was no need to scare her.

"I was just kidding, shrimp," Emmett assured Lily.

"Are you hungry?" Carlisle wondered, changing the subject. "I was about to start on the food."

"And since you didn't bring anything, we'll have to settle for the chicken," Emmett said with a smirk. "Really, bro, I was counting on some nice, fresh fish."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

We had brought food in cool boxes, enough for several days. I had decided against sticking with the traditional, freeze-dried food for Lily's sake. I wanted her first camping experience to be the best possible.

We all sat down around the campfire, Carlisle and Jasper taking care of the food preparations. They grilled the chicken we had brought, and with that, we had a salad Esme had made. The food tasted even better out here than it would have at home.

After we had finished the food, we grilled marshmallows. As the sun started sinking behind the horizon, we sat around the fire and told scary stories. I gave both Emmett and Jasper a look, making sure they didn't pick anything too scary. Despite this, I felt Lily move a little closer to me. I wrapped an arm around her and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"They're not real, only stories."

"I know," she replied quickly, but I could hear her voice tremble a little. I hoped she wouldn't have nightmares.

At nine thirty, Lily's eyelids started getting heavy, and I saw her suppress a yawn.

"Time for bed?" I suggested, knowing that she would never actually admit that she was tired.

She looked up at me for a moment, and I wondered if she was going to argue. But then she nodded.

"OK," she said, sounding a little reluctant. I was pretty sure it was just a show.

We went to the restrooms and I watched as Lily brushed her teeth. I had tried to tell Bella that there were accommodations at the park, that we wouldn't be digging a hole for a toilet and get water from the river or something like that. Whether she just didn't believe me, or it didn't make a difference I wasn't sure.

When we got back to the campsite, Lily said goodnight to everyone and then crawled into our tent. I noticed that she left the flashlight on, and figured that she was reading. But when I peeked into the tent half an hour later, she was sound asleep, the light still on next to her.

The stories must have scared her more than I had originally thought.

The rest of us called it a night at eleven. We had planned on hiking around the park tomorrow, so we wanted to get a good night's rest.

**Bella**

"Do you want to get going?" Angela asked when the guys and Lily had left for the park.

I checked my watch; it was almost three.

"Might as well, if we want to get some girl time tonight," I replied.

We went back into the house and I climbed the stairs to get my bag. Esme, Alice and Rosalie were watching TV when I got back downstairs. Both Alice and Rosalie were on vacation, and they were staying in Forks when Emmett and Jasper got back from the camping trip.

I put my bag down by the front door and went into the living room to say goodbye to them.

"We're heading out now."

"Oh, alright, sweetheart." Esme frowned. "If you're sure. You know you're more than welcome to stay here for the weekend."

"I know," I assured her, giving her a hug. "But I've got a bunch of stuff I was planning on doing tomorrow before the happy campers get back. Laundry, grocery shopping, a campaign that I need to look over before Monday."

"OK, then we'll see you in a couple of weeks," she concluded.

We were going up here for the two first weeks of my vacation, before Renée and Phil flew in from Phoenix on August 11th. I had told Edward that he and Lily could stay here next week as well – Lily would love spending more time with her aunts and uncles and cousin, and I would be perfectly fine on my own in Seattle – but he had refused. Since I wasn't very keen on the idea of being away from him, or Lily, for very long, I was secretly glad that he had.

"We'll be here as soon as I get off from work," I promised.

"Drive safe," Alice instructed when I hugged her. "Remember to view everyone you meet as a potential lunatic."

"Will do."

I laughed at Alice's driving motto and turned to Rosalie to hug her as well.

"Call when you get home," she insisted.

"I will."

They walked with us out onto the porch. Angela and I put our stuff in the trunk of the car before getting in.

"Bye, have fun, enjoy your free time!" I called through the window as we drove down the dirt road.

We turned the volume on the radio up high, and sang along to all the songs – even the ones we didn't know – on the way back to Seattle.

"OK, first stop, Blockbusters," Angela announced when we had gotten off the highway.

"Are we going all out with tear-jerkers, or just chick flicks?" I wondered.

"I'm in the mood for _Steel Magnolias_," she replied.

"Tear-jerkers it is," I concluded.

We got _Steel Magnolias_ and _Beaches_ at the video store and then stopped by the supermarket to stock up on the necessary snacks. By seven, we were back at our place.

"Do you want to order pizza right away, or wait a while?" Angela wondered when I got back downstairs.

"I'm pretty hungry already."

"Half mushroom, half pepperoni?" She grabbed the phone.

"Sounds good."

While she called in our order, I went into the kitchen and poured the chips into a big bowl. I got smaller bowls for the skittles, life savers, goldfish and M&M's and put everything on a tray that I carried into the living room, where Angela was just putting the first movie in the DVD player.

"The pizza should be here in half an hour," she told me, sitting down on the couch.

"Sounds good." I joined her on the couch, pulling up my legs under me.

At the end of the night, I was glad that Angela had gone with the weepy movies; at least now I could blame that for the tears that just wouldn't stop running down my face.

"I'm going to head home," Angela said at eleven thirty. "You look like you could use some sleep."

I only nodded, wiping at the persistent tears, and walked her to the door.

xxxxx

When I woke up on Sunday morning, I was about to get out of bed immediately, sure that either work or Lily was waiting. But after a second or two, I remembered that it was Sunday and that I had the house to myself for the rest of the day, and I sank back into the pillows.

I stayed in bed until after eleven, curling up under the covers with my book. When my stomach started growling, I got up to at least make some breakfast. Walking down the stairs, I felt a pinch in my stomach and realized I was hungrier than I had thought.

After I had finished breakfast, the bed wasn't as tempting anymore, so I put the first load of laundry into the washer and then sat down at the desk in the study to get some work done. I alternated between that and the laundry room until two thirty, when I made some lunch and ate in front of the TV.

After lunch, I went back to the computer; I only had a few more things to do before I could call it a day.

Sitting there, I felt that pinch in my stomach again, and I frowned. Earlier, I had brushed it off as hunger, but I had just eaten…

The weird pinching feeling disappeared, and I figured it was nothing. Light cramps weren't that uncommon at this stage of a pregnancy, I had been told.

I kept working for another hour or so, and then saved the files onto a flash drive. When I got up, I felt a stab of pain, much more pronounced than earlier, in my abdomen and I froze, leaning against the desk.

I waited for the pain to subside, and after a moment it did. I carefully straightened up, afraid of moving too fast, but nothing happened.

With shaking hands, I reached out for the cordless phone on the desk and dialed Edward's cell number. It was probably nothing, but I needed him to tell me that.

It went straight to voicemail, and I remembered what he had said about not having reception in the park. Damn it! I really needed to talk to him.

I put the phone back and went into the living room. I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I was overreacting, of course. Everything was fine.

As that thought passed through my mind, I felt another stab of pain, and I forgot every reasonable thought.

When the pain again subsided, I called Doctor Wallace. She had given me her home number in case I needed to get in touch with her when she wasn't at work.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, Doctor Wallace, it's Bella Cullen. I'm sorry to bother you like this on a Sunday."

"_That's not a problem, Bella. Is something wrong?"_

"I'm not sure." Suddenly, I felt silly. She would just tell me that it was nothing. "It's just, I had some sort of cramps a few minutes ago and I was a little worried…" I trailed off.

"_OK, how bad would you say that the pain was?"_ she wondered. _"On a scale of one to ten."_

"Maybe a four."

"_OK, then I'm sure it's nothing. Lighter cramps are not uncommon at this stage."_ I waited for her words to have a calming effect on me, but they didn't. _"Have you experienced any spotting?"_

"I don't think so." I hadn't been to the bathroom since right after lunch.

"_OK."_ She was silent for a moment. _"If you're really worried, you can come on in and I'll check to make sure everything's OK."_

"No, I couldn't… it's Sunday! I don't want to drag you in to work…"

"_That doesn't matter,"_ she told me. _"I can be there in half an hour, will that be OK for you?"_

"Thank you," I let out a sigh of relief.

"_It's not a problem. I'll see you in a bit."_

I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen to get the car keys off the counter. On my way to the door, I realized I needed to go to the bathroom before leaving, and changed my course.

When I sat down on the toilet, my heart almost stopped. All I could see was red.

xxxxx

"I'm sorry, Bella."

Doctor Wallace gave me a sympathetic look. I just nodded, focusing on my hands in my lap. I couldn't stand the expression on her face.

"I don't know what to say; sometimes these things just happen," she continued.

"Did I…" I had to clear my throat to be able to continue. "Did I do something? Or not do something that could have…"

"No," she cut me off, shaking her head. "You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing you could have done that would have prevented this."

"But I felt something, earlier this morning. If I had called you right away, maybe…"

"I wouldn't have been able to do anything."

"But what if I…"

"No," she repeated, reaching out to take one of my hands. "Look at me." I reluctantly did as she said. "This didn't happen because you did something wrong, or because you didn't do something that you should have done. This is just nature's way of dealing. The baby wouldn't have been able to survive."

I nodded, looking away from her to hide the tears in my eyes. I wasn't sure I believed her.

"Do you want me to call someone?" she wondered. "Edward…"

"They're away camping." I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded.

"OK. Maybe a friend?"

"No, I'm fine." I blinked violently, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"You're not fine."

I stood up abruptly, the need to get out of here almost overwhelming me.

"I have to go."

Somehow, she managed to get to the door before I did.

"I know that you're hurting right now," she said softly, and I had to work harder to keep the tears from escaping. "And I know that you don't want to talk about this, but at some point, you're going to have to. And maybe it'll be enough to talk to the people close to you, the people this affects just as much as it affects you. But maybe it won't."

She put a business card in my hand, and I shoved it into the back pocket of my jeans without looking at it. I pushed past her and through the door, the only thought in my mind to get as far away from here as possible.

When I got out into the still bright day, I had to pause for a moment before I remembered where I had parked the car. I had no memory of the drive here. The last thing I remembered was the blood… and then Doctor Wallace telling me that it was gone. My baby was gone. Just like that.

I finally found the car and locked the doors before leaving the parking lot. The drive back to the house was painfully clear, as opposed to the earlier drive from it. I saw the sky, still partly covered in clouds but with a few blue spots here and there, and I wondered why it wasn't raining, why there wasn't thunder and lightning, mirroring my insides.

When I got back to the house, I went around and closed all the blinds. I took the phone with me to our bedroom and curled up in the rocking chair, wrapping a blanket around myself. I still felt like I was freezing inside and didn't stop shaking.

I dialed Edward's cell number, but it went straight to voice mail again. I waited a couple of minutes, then called again with the same result.

How was it possible to miss something so much, when you'd never even really had it in the first place? How could it hurt this bad?

It was completely irrational, I knew that, but the absence of my baby was more pronounced now than his presence had been yesterday. I could feel the hole inside me as distinctly as if it had been a physical void. I felt like I was completely hollow, like there was something missing.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw something, break it. I wanted to hit someone until they felt as bad as I did.

But of course, that wouldn't change anything, wouldn't make it the least bit better. Wouldn't help at all.

I called again. Voice mail.

I leaned my forehead against my knees and let the tears flow freely. Every few minutes, I hit the 'Call' button again, redialing the last number, and waited for the mechanical voice on the other end of the line.

**Edward**

"You OK, princess? Are we going too fast?" I wondered.

"No, I'm OK," Lily replied a little breathlessly from a few feet ahead of me. "Can we go all the way over to those big trees?"

I checked my watch. It was almost one in the afternoon, and we had been hiking since a little after ten in the morning.

"We should probably turn back soon," I told her. "It's getting late."

"Please, daddy, please!" she pleaded.

"Just a little farther, then we're going back."

"OK."

We continued for another fifteen minutes, then we headed back the same way we had come.

"Look, daddy, deer!" Lily exclaimed an hour later, pointing at the animals a few feet from the trail. Of course, at the sound of her voice, the deer got scared and disappeared farther into the woods. "They're pretty."

"They are," I agreed. "Now stop stalling and let's go!"

It was almost five by the time we got back to the campsite, and the others had already gotten back from their hike and packed everything up in the cars.

We drove back to Forks, where we got our things from the house and had a quick dinner before continuing towards Seattle.

As I expected, Lily soon fell asleep in the back seat. We'd been hiking pretty much all day, she was bound to be exhausted.

When we got back to town, I dropped Ben off at his and Angela's place and then headed home. Since it was almost ten, I decided not to wake Lily, instead I carried her into the house and up to her room. The door to our bedroom was closed, so I assumed that Bella had gone to bed. She had been really tired lately, and had probably decided to turn in early.

When I went back downstairs to get our things from the car, I noticed that all the blinds were drawn, and frowned. I couldn't understand why Bella would do that; the clouds had cleared a little while before the sunset, and she loved letting the sun into the house.

I got everything out of the car and unceremoniously dropped the camping equipment in the garage and the bags in the laundry room; most of the clothes would need to be washed. Then I had a sandwich before going upstairs.

When I opened the bedroom door, I didn't notice Bella at first. I looked for her shape in the bed, but didn't find it. I turned on the light in the bathroom, so that I could see what I was doing without waking her up, and then I saw her.

She was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner, hugging her knees. A blanket was draped over her shoulders and she was clutching the phone in her hand.

"Bella?"

At the sound of my voice, she looked up at me without actually meeting my eyes, her expression… empty, somehow. I could see that she had been crying.

"What's wrong?" Fear, cold and hard, gripped me.

"I called you," she said quietly.

"I didn't have reception in the park," I explained, pulling the phone from my pocket. I should have gotten a message about missed calls when we left the park. But the display was black, and didn't react when I hit the 'On' button. "I'm sorry, the battery must have died."

She just nodded at that, and I felt the fear claw harder at my insides.

"What's wrong?" I repeated, crouching down in front of her and taking her hands in mine. I tried to get her to look at me, but she avoided my eyes.

"I lost it."

The words didn't make any sense.

"Lost what?"

"The baby." Her voice was barely more than a whisper, but she might as well have been screaming.

My mind refused to understand what she was saying.

"What do you mean 'lost'?"

"It… hurt, and the.... blood... so I called Doctor Wallace, and she…" She pulled her hands out of my grasp and pressed her knuckles to her eyes. "She said that it just happens sometimes."

As her words finally registered, I felt the cold spread, extending to every part of my body.

I shouldn't have left her. My entire being had protested against it, and still I'd done it.

And now everything was ruined. And it was all my fault.

Some remote part of my mind realized that Bella was in pan, and that I should try to comfort her. But I couldn't completely comprehend how I was supposed to do that when I felt completely hollow inside.

"It'll be OK," I said without really meaning it. Nothing would ever be OK again.

Tears started to roll down her face, and I saw that they were not the first ones; traces of others still lined her cheeks.

I stood up automatically, without thinking, and pulled the coverlet off the bed, folding the cover to the side. Then I picked Bella up from the rocking chair and put her down on the bed, crawling in beside her. I pulled her close to me and cradled her against my chest, and then I yanked the cover over us.

I lay there for a long time, listening to her quiet sobs and feeling her tears soak my t-shirt. After who knows how long, her breathing started to even out and deepen, and I let go of my control. I stared into the ceiling as the sun rose outside, invisible in our bubble of darkness, and let the tears fall quietly. I wouldn't let her see them. She was in enough pain as it was, she shouldn't have to deal with mine as well. I didn't deserve her comfort. And I promised myself that I would never put her through something like this again.

**AN: OK, guys I know you hate me right now – some of you even asked me to please not do this! And I'm sorry! But this is just the way the story played out in my head. I can promise you that this chapter was just as painful for me to write as it was for you to read, if not more so. But I did put the 'angst' in the category, so you must have known that it wouldn't be all puppies and rainbows! And I can tell you that we still have a long way to go. If you're not all too mad at me to keep reading, that is… I hope not!**

**Oh, and the thing with thinking that everyone you meet in traffic is a complete lunatic – my dad says that all the time, and it seems to be true a lot.**


	6. 6 Guilt

**AN: Hey, guys. Just wanted to let you know that there are going to be a lot of double-takes for a while, since I want to give you the situation from two sides, let you know what they're both thinking and feeling. I hope that's OK, and here we go. Next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were, never will be. **

**6 – Guilt**

**Bella**

From somewhere far, far away, I heard a sound that my subconscious realized it was supposed to react to.

It felt like I had to fight my way through miles of fog to reach the surface, and when I did, reality hit me like a punch in the gut.

I stayed very still for a moment, keeping my eyes closed, and willed yesterday to have been nothing but a bad dream. I would open my eyes, and it would be Sunday morning, and I would have the whole day to myself before Edward and Lily came home from their camping trip.

Life wouldn't be altered in every conceivable way.

The relentless ringing of the alarm clock wouldn't let me escape from reality like I wanted, and I fumbled around for the annoying thing for a moment before finding it and turning it off.

Silence spread in the room, but after a moment, I realized that it wasn't complete. There were sounds coming from downstairs, kitchen sounds. The coffee machine being turned on, the fridge being opened and closed, plates being put down on the table…

I reluctantly opened my eyes to find that I was alone in the bed. I frowned and looked over at the alarm clock. Seven thirty.

What was he doing up already?

I pushed the covers aside and got out of the bed. For a moment I stumbled, a little off balance. My eyes felt raw, the results of crying myself to sleep last night. Even now, I could feel tears rising in them again.

I grabbed my robe off the back of the door and headed into the bathroom. It felt like I was trying to walk through quicksand, or water. My body wouldn't move the way I wanted it to, every movement was slow and took much more effort than usual.

I turned the water as hot as it would go and stepped under the spray. The warm water softened up my muscles, but it did nothing to warm me up. I still felt ice cold inside.

Realizing I had to go to work, I shut off the water and dried myself off with a towel. I wiped the steam off the mirror and stared at myself for a moment.

I knew that it didn't work like that, but I had still expected something to be different. I felt older, somehow. But, of course, I looked just the same as yesterday morning. The only thing that gave anything away was my red-rimmed eyes.

I brushed through my wet hair slowly before blow drying it. Then I went back into the bedroom to get dressed.

Edward was still downstairs.

When I had finished getting dressed, I lingered in the room.

I had immediately gotten a bad feeling when I woke up and Edward wasn't next to me. He had comforted me last night, but now… I started to wonder if the reason he had gotten up before my alarm went off was that he couldn't look me in the eyes.

Because he thought what had happened was my fault.

_You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing you could have done that would have prevented this._

Doctor Wallace's words flashed through my mind, but I couldn't believe them. I knew, of course, that she was right. Logically. But on another level, emotionally… I still wondered.

And if that was what Edward thought…

The world started shaking, and it took me a moment to realize that it wasn't the walls and furniture that were moving. It was my knees that were trembling. I sat down on the bed, fighting the urge to crawl under the covers, curl up in a ball and stay there until the world was right-side up again.

What if he blamed me, and never forgave me? How would I survive that?

I had already lost more than I could bear, I couldn't lose him too. I wouldn't. We had to talk about this. I would just tell him what Doctor Wallace had told me yesterday. He had to understand, right? He was just shocked now, and the natural reaction was to blame someone. But he would understand, he would realize that it wasn't my fault, and everything would be fine.

I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to pull myself together, and then I went downstairs.

He was standing at the stove with his back to me when I entered the kitchen.

"Good morning." My voice was rough from sleep.

He turned around and gave me a quick smile that didn't reach his eyes, and then he focused back on the frying pan in front of him.

"Morning."

All my resolve vanished, and I slumped down at the kitchen table. I couldn't utter the words that would make him say it out loud; it was obvious in the way he hadn't looked right at me but kept his eyes on a point somewhere above my head.

_It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault…_

But it didn't matter if I was able to convince myself of this, if he still thought that it was.

"How are you feeling?"

Edward's words almost made me jump.

"I don't know," I mumbled, unable to say anything but the truth. I didn't look up at him, because I didn't want to see him looking anywhere but at me.

"It'll be OK," he said.

How? How will it be OK, if you won't even look at me?

"Do you want me to call Michelle, tell her that you won't be in today?"

_Yes,_ I wanted to say. _I want to stay here and talk to you and make you understand that what happened wasn't my fault. But I can't. Because if I can't convince you, I'll lose you too, and I can't handle that. Not now. Please don't make me. _

"No, I need to get out of the house, do something," I said instead. "Distract myself."

He was silent for a moment.

"OK."

I heard him open a cupboard and a moment later, he put down a plate and a glass in front of me. I kept my eyes on the table.

"I made you pancakes," he said, turning back to the stove.

"Thank you."

He put down a plate with pancakes on the table, followed by syrup and orange juice. I heard the coffee machine being turned off, and then my favorite mug – Lily had made it in kindergarten, and it had the words "World's greatest mom" painted crookedly on one side – appeared in front of me as well, filled with coffee.

"I'm going to take a shower," he mumbled, and before I had the chance to ask him to stay, he disappeared up the stairs.

I put a pancake on my plate, but I couldn't eat a bite. I cut it up into little pieces that I pushed around on the plate with my fork, soaking them in syrup.

When I heard the shower turn off upstairs, I got up, grabbed my purse and left the house.

I couldn't stand him not looking at me for another moment.

**Edward**

I didn't sleep at all, not even after Bella's breaths had become deep and even, assuring me that she was sound asleep. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out where to go from here.

Would Bella ever be able to forgive me for leaving her alone when she needed me the most? Not only had I left her, but I hadn't even checked my cell to make sure that she could reach me if she needed to. I could only imagine how she must have felt when she had realized what was happening, and hadn't been able to get a hold of me.

She shouldn't forgive me for that. I never would.

When my watch beeped to announce that it was seven o'clock, I slipped out of bed. A part of me wanted to stay there with her, to hold her when she woke up, tell her that it would be OK, that we would get through this together.

But the cowardly part, the part that was too weak to face the accusations that were sure to be there in her eyes, won.

The truth was, I wasn't sure that we _would_ get through it. If she couldn't forgive me, where did that leave us?

So I went downstairs, going around and opening the blinds to the morning sun. The sky outside was again a deep blue, and the few clouds that flittered across it held no threat of rain. Another beautiful summer day.

When I heard Bella's alarm from upstairs, I went into the kitchen and started the coffee – Bella always had a mug with breakfast before going to work. I got the ingredients to make pancakes out of the fridge and pantry and started mixing them in a big bowl.

I couldn't do anything about yesterday. I couldn't change the fact that I hadn't been there for her. All I could do was show her that I was here now, that I always wanted to be here for her, and hope that that was enough. And if it wasn't…

I heard the shower turn on in the bathroom upstairs and listened to the soothing sound of the water through the pipes. Morning routines, despite this being anything but a normal morning.

I waited for the sound of the shower being turned off; Bella always took a quick shower in the mornings. But it wasn't until after fifteen minutes that I heard her turn off the water. I knew, from the mornings when we got up at the same time, that she was always downstairs by eight. She hated to rush when it came to eating. But today, it was almost twenty minutes past by the time I heard her come down the stairs.

I poured some pancake batter into the frying pan and focused on the task in front of me as I heard her enter the kitchen. I needed to gather up some courage before facing her.

"Good morning," she said after a moment, her voice drowsy with sleep.

I turned around and looked at her for the first time. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and it looked like there were fresh tear tracks on her cheeks. I managed to force a smile before I looked away.

"Morning." I was surprised to hear that my voice was stable.

I heard her sit down at the table behind me, and I had to fight the urge to beg her to forgive me. I had no right to ask her for anything. She would have to come to the decision to forgive me on her own, and if she never did, I would have to accept that. No matter how much that would hurt.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I don't know," she mumbled.

I automatically turned around, the instinct to comfort her so deeply rooted in me that I couldn't resist it. But she wasn't looking at me; her eyes were focused on the table in front of her. My hand, that I hadn't even realized had reached out to her, fell to my side. She wouldn't want my comfort.

"It'll be OK," I told her, trying to sound like I meant it. "Do you want me to call Michelle, tell her that you won't be in today?"

I wanted her to say yes, to say that she would call Donna to ask if she could take Lily for a few hours so that we could try to make sense of what had happened together. I wanted her to tell me that she didn't blame me, even if I did.

"No, I need to get out of the house, do something. Distract myself."

Get out of the house. Away from me. I felt like my heart would break.

"OK."

I tried to focus on my hands, not linger on her words. I got a plate and a glass from the cupboard and put them down on the table. She still didn't look up at me.

"I made you pancakes," I said, putting the last pancake on the plate.

"Thank you."

I put down the pancakes on the table and got the syrup and orange juice from the fridge. Then I poured coffee into her favorite mug. I watched her for a moment, but her eyes remained fixed on the wooden surface of the table. I couldn't take the silent accusation any longer, even if I did deserve it.

"I'm going to take a shower," I muttered, and all but ran out of the kitchen.

When I got into the bathroom, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, breathing deeply to pull myself together. When I was able to think straight again, I turned the water on and got into the shower.

I would talk to her when I got back downstairs. I would just tell her that I was sorry, and beg her to at least try to forgive me.

Having come to that conclusion, I quickly finished the shower, dried off and threw on a pair of cut-off jeans and a t-shirt and before hurrying back downstairs.

But when I got into the kitchen, she wasn't there. The pancakes were still on the table, one of them cut into little pieces on her plate. It didn't look like she had eaten anything. The orange juice was untouched in the glass and the coffee in the mug. I went to the front door and looked out through the window next to it. Her car, which had been parked next to the Volvo in the driveway, was gone.

I slumped against the wall and buried my face in my hands.

She would never forgive me.

The sound of footsteps from upstairs caught my attention, and I managed to put on a 'normal' face just in time. Lily came bounding down the stairs, still in her pajamas and with her hair tangled up from sleep.

"Where's mom?" she wondered, looking around the room.

"She had to go in to work a little early," I lied. Lily frowned.

"I wanted to tell her about the camping trip," she complained.

The camping trip. I had almost forgotten about that.

"How about if we burn the photos you took onto a CD and then show her on the TV tonight?" I suggested. "You can tell her all about it then."

"OK," she happily agreed.

"I made pancakes, if you're hungry."

I smiled at her excitement when she skipped into the kitchen. It took so little to make her happy. I hoped that would never change.

I followed her slowly, sitting down opposite her at the table. She quickly finished the pancake Bella had left, and took another one.

"What are we doing today?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

So far, we had left the house once a day to do something different. It didn't have to be anything special, sometimes we just went to the playground, sometimes out for lunch.

"Can we go to Puyallup?" she asked, naming the fairground south of the city.

"You don't want to wait until the weekend, so your mom can come with us?" I wondered.

She thought about that for a moment.

"OK."

"How about if we go to Dairy Queen for dessert after lunch?" I suggested instead. Lily loved their ice cream.

"Yeah!"

**Bella**

I got to the office a little early, which was good, since I needed a moment to pull myself together.

I hadn't even noticed the tears that were streaming down my face while I drove, but when I checked myself in the mirror, they were there. I wiped them away, and got my emergency make up bag out of the glove compartment. After five minutes, I decided that I looked presentable and left the car. If I could only keep the tears at bay until five o'clock, I would be fine.

"Hi, Bella, how was your weekend?" Allie, one of my coworkers, asked when I entered the office. "Lots of fireworks up in Forks?"

It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about. Fireworks. Fourth of July. Had that really been just a couple of days ago? It felt impossibly distant.

"It was great," I replied, and even managed to put on a smile. "Lily was in the kids' parade and we had a great time. How about you guys?"

"Well, Joe had to work, so we just went out to eat when he got home, and then we watched the fireworks."

"That sounds nice."

"It was." She nodded. "And how did the camping trip go, is Lily completely sold on the concept now?"

"She was asleep when they got home last night, and hadn't gotten up when I left this morning, so I actually haven't talked to her about it yet." I felt guilty for leaving the house like I had when I thought about Lily. She would no doubt be bursting to tell me all about the trip. "I expect I'll get the whole story at dinner tonight."

"I bet she had a blast!"

"Allie!"

We both turned at the sound of Michelle's voice.

"I've got to go," Allie said. "We're discussing the Colburn campaign."

"OK, see you later."

She waved and headed off in the direction of Michelle's office, while I continued to mine. I dug through my purse and found the flash drive where I had saved my work yesterday and popped it into the computer after logging on.

I managed to focus on what I was doing, the advertisement proposals on the screen in front of me, until there was a knock on the door.

"Come on in," I called to whoever was on the other side.

"Hey there," Michelle said. "I was just wondering if you were planning on taking a break at some point, it's after one."

I looked at the clock on the wall; she was right, it was a quarter past one. Apparently I had been more focused on my work than I had known. I felt my stomach growl, and realized I hadn't eaten anything since lunch yesterday.

"Thanks, I'll just run down to the deli and get a sandwich or something."

"Why don't we go down to Zaina instead?" she suggested. "I got held up with Neil on the phone again, so I haven't had lunch either, and I wanted to talk to you about the launch party."

Olsen Ltd. was having its grand launch party on Saturday, something I had almost forgotten. The campaign was finished, so, technically, my job was done, but the party was just as important, and I would have to make an appearance. To say that I was not in the mood for that would be something of an understatement.

"Sure, let's go."

I grabbed my purse and we left the office.

"So, how was the weekend?" Michelle wondered when we had gotten a table at the restaurant and ordered.

"It was good, seeing the family and all of the Fourth of July stuff."

"Getting away from the office for a while," Michelle added with a smile.

"That too," I admitted. I was glad that Michelle and I had a good relationship; we weren't just employer-employee. I could complain about work all I wanted to her, and she would never mind.

"Well, I also wanted to talk to you alone to tell you that I appreciate everything you do for the firm. You're one of the best I've got, and I know how much time and effort and heart you put into your work." She took an envelope from her purse and handed it to me. "A little something to show how highly I value you. Just in case some other agency tries to snatch you away from me," she joked.

I opened the envelope and discovered something that looked like a gift certificate.

"_Quinault Beach Resort and Casino_," I read out loud. "What is this?"

"It's a gift certificate for something they call the _Romance package_. It's a two-night stay with everything included and a free massage," she explained. "Take that gorgeous husband of yours away for a weekend."

"Thank you," I managed to get out.

I really couldn't see that happening at the moment. I had to bite my lip to control the emotions that threatened to overcome me, and quickly stood up.

"I've got to use the restrooms, I'll be right back."

Before Michelle had the possibility to say anything, I hurried away from the table and down the hallway to the ladies room.

I locked myself in one of the stalls and sat down on the toilet lid. I leaned my head against the wall and let the tears have their way for a while. I knew from experience that this was the only way I would be able to get them under control.

After five minutes, I dried away the last tear and got shakily to my feat. I splashed my face with cold water, but since I didn't have any make up in my purse, I couldn't do much more.

I went back to the table, where our food had arrived. Michelle looked up at me when I sat down, but didn't say anything. She had probably figured out that something was wrong, but didn't want to pry. She had put the gift certificate, which I had dropped on the table, back into the envelope, and I quickly slid it into my purse, not wanting to look at it. She didn't mention it.

After a moment, she started talking about the launch party for Olsen Ltd., and I gratefully turned my attention to that subject, forcing all other thoughts from my mind for at least a little while.

**Edward**

As promised, I took Lily to Dairy Queen after lunch and bought her an Oreo Brownie Earthquake. We went down to Colman Park and walked along Lake Washington while we ate our ice creams.

When we got back home, Lily wanted to play tennis on the Wii. I didn't have to pretend to lose this time; I was too preoccupied to be able to focus on the game, so she won fair and square. At least I managed to hide my state of mind from her.

When she had beaten me four times, she didn't think it was as much fun anymore, and I turned the television to Nickelodeon.

"I'll be right back," I told her, getting no answer in return. She was completely engulfed in the TV.

I went upstairs and closed the bedroom door behind me. I needed a short breather from pretending to be fine if I was going to keep this up for the rest of the afternoon.

I lay down on Bella's side of the bed, burying my face in her pillow. Her scent still lingered there, and I closed my eyes, inhaling it. I stayed there for a few minutes, breathing deeply, trying to calm my chaotic insides. It didn't do much, but I felt a little better.

I got up from the bed and was about to leave the room when my eyes fell on the dresser next to the door.

Without making any conscious decision, I opened the bottom drawer. There, on top of one of my t-shirts, was the tiny, blue onesie with guitars on it that I had bought at Macy's, less than three weeks ago.

At the sight of it, I felt my carefully composed expression crumble, and I leaned against the dresser, burying my face in my hands. I clenched my teeth against the raw pain inside and felt hot tears in my hands. For the first time in over eleven years, I wanted something to take away the pain, something that would let me escape reality for a while. Not even during that horrible first time at the clinic, when the withdrawal had been at its worse, had I wanted it as bad as I did now. I pushed that feeling away, thanking whatever power was up there that I at least didn't have the possibility to act on it.

I didn't know how long I stood like that; it could have been minutes, it could have been hours. Finally, though, I managed to pull myself together. Without looking, I stuffed the onesie under the other clothes in the drawer, shoving it into one of the corners. Hopefully, by the time I came across it again, the pain would have subsided.

I closed the drawer and went into the bathroom, splashing some cold water on my face before I went back downstairs.

Lily was still watching Fairly Odd Parents, so I couldn't have been gone for more than fifteen minutes. She didn't seem to have noticed, and didn't look up when I came back into the room.

I sat down on the couch, watching her as she watched the show. At least we had her.

**Bella**

When I drove home from the office, I was filled with mixed emotions. On the one hand, I couldn't wait to see Lily – I hated being away from her – and hear all about the camping trip. On the other hand, I was afraid of facing Edward – afraid that he would keep avoiding meeting my eyes, but just as afraid that he wouldn't, and that I would see the accusations in his. I wasn't sure what would be worse; if he just kept refusing to look at me or if he told me straight out that he blamed me for what had happened. Maybe if he actually got it off his chest, we could at least talk about it and maybe move on from there. But maybe not…

After I had turned off the engine, I sat in the car for a moment, staring at the house. My heart was racing and I felt my breath become more and more shallow and rapid. I needed to do something before I started hyperventilating.

Forcing myself to take slower, deeper breaths, I managed to at least get that part under control, but I couldn't do much about the heart rate. Taking one final breath, I opened the door and got out of the car.

As soon as I opened the front door, I could tell that Edward was making his special pasta – the smell of oregano drifted out of the kitchen.

I closed the door behind me and slowly walked into the kitchen.

Edward was at the stove, stirring something I couldn't see. Lily was setting the table, putting down glasses and cutlery by the three plates that were already there.

"Mommy!" she exclaimed when she spotted me.

"Hi baby." I opened my arms, and she flew into them.

I buried my face in her hair, breathing in her scent. At least she was still there, at least we had that.

"Did you have fun camping?" I wondered.

"Uh-huh, it was sooo much fun!"

I thought I felt Edward's eyes on me, but when I let go of Lily and looked up at him, he was again focused on the food on the stove.

"We went fishing, and hiking, and we made a campfire and told scary stories," Lily started babbling about the camping trip.

"That sounds like a lot of fun."

"It really, really was." She nodded enthusiastically. "I took a lot of pictures, and dad and I put them on a CD and if you want we can show you after dinner."

"I'd like that."

"Daddy, I'm hungry!" Lily complained, turning her attention to Edward.

"Dinner will be ready in five minutes," he told her with a smile.

I tried to catch his eye before he turned back around, but he only glanced at me briefly.

"I'll just go wash up," I said quietly.

I left the kitchen and climbed the stairs, going into the bedroom. I took off the suit jacket I was wearing, shrugged out of the skirt and blouse and pulled on a pair of threadbare jeans and a t-shirt. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, getting it out of my face.

Remembering the gift certificate that Michelle had given me, I took it out of my purse and opened the drawer in my bedside table to put it away. When I did that, I spotted a paper box that I had forgotten I had put there.

The envelope slipped out of my hand and onto the floor, and I felt tears rising in my eyes again, but this time they had their origin in anger.

It wasn't fair. Why did this have to happen, why now? Everything had been perfect; life, work, mine and Edward's relationship… why?

I took the box out of the drawer and threw it across the room, in the direction of the wastebasket that I could see through the open door to the bathroom. I missed, of course, and this made me even angrier. I stomped over the floor, picked up the box, flung it into the wastebasket and slammed the bathroom door shut.

This helped a little, and I felt the anger fade away as quickly as it had appeared. The only thing that remained was the tears, and I quickly wiped those away.

I went back to the bedside table, picked the envelope up off the floor and put it in the drawer before closing it.

While I went back downstairs, I locked away the feelings and the tears. They would get out eventually, but right now I needed to focus on my daughter.

Edward and Lily were already sitting at the table when I came into the kitchen, and I quickly took my seat. Edward had put some food on my plate, and I noticed that he had put on extra vegetables, just like every day the past couple of weeks. This fact tugged at the locked door in my mind, but I kept it closed. Not in front of Lily.

We ate mostly in silence, except when Lily said something. I could tell that she was bursting to tell me about the camping trip, but apparently she had decided that she wanted to show me the pictures while relating the experience.

As soon as she had finished, she jumped up from the table.

"What do you say before leaving the table?" I wondered pointedly.

"May I be excused?" she obediently asked, her puppy eyes focused on Edward.

"Sure, go ahead and get the TV set up," he said.

Lily skipped off into the living room, leaving her plate on the table. I was about to call her back to tell her that she had to put it in the dishwasher, but she was so excited, I just couldn't.

I quickly swallowed the last of my food and got up to rinse off mine and Lily's plates before putting them into the dishwasher. I got our glasses and cutlery as well.

When I turned around, Edward was right there, cutting off my path to the living room. I stared into his chest for a second before looking up at him. His eyes held mine, and I couldn't look away. The expression on his face was unreadable, and after a moment, he looked away. When his eyes released me, I quickly walked past him into the living room.

Lily had turned on the television and put the CD with the pictures in the DVD-player. When I sat down on the couch next to her, she hit the 'Play' button and the first picture filled the screen. After ten minutes, Edward came into the room and sat down on Lily's other side.

I kept my attention on the pictures on the screen and Lily's voice, telling me about all the fun things they had done during the two days that they had spent in the park. The whole time, I was distracted by the feel of Edward's eyes on me, but I didn't look up to see if I was just imagining things.

When we had looked at all the pictures, Lily wanted to watch a movie, and we turned on _Monsters, Inc._ – she had probably seen it fifty times, but she never got sick of it. Her favorite part was the 'bloopers' at the end.

It was only eight thirty when the movie was over, but Lily started yawning next to me.

"Time for bed, sweetie?" I suggested.

"Can I read for a while?" she asked.

"Sure."

"OK." She gave me a hug. "Night, mommy."

"Goodnight, baby." I hugged her tightly before reluctantly letting her go.

"Night, daddy." She gave Edward a hug as well.

"Good night, princess."

She left the room, and a moment later, we heard her climb the stairs.

The silence in the room was suddenly very obvious.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Edward asked after a moment, changing the channel. "_The Hangover_ is on at nine."

"Sure," I agreed.

What I really wanted to do was yell at him to talk to me. But I was too afraid of what he would say if I did, so I went along.

Lily had been sitting between us on the couch so there was some space where she had been sitting. Edward didn't move closer to me, though we always cuddled when we watched movies. I shifted a little, moving farther into the corner and pulling my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. For some reason, I suddenly felt exposed sitting so close to him without actually touching him. It was unfamiliar territory to me.

We watched the sitcom that was on, waiting for the movie to start. Neither of us commented the silly commercials, like we always did. When the movie started, I gratefully focused on the plot, tuning out everything else, including Edward's still form less than two feet from me on the couch.

He barely moved at all during the movie, and I kept glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. Every time I did that, I could have sworn that he had been watching me a moment earlier, but looked away quickly when he caught me looking over at him.

When the end credits started rolling across the screen, I got up from the couch.

"I'm going to bed," I said, without really expecting any kind of meaningful answer.

"I'll be right there," he replied without looking up at me.

But he didn't come upstairs. I lay awake until after midnight before I finally surrendered to sleep, and I was still alone in the bed.

**Edward**

"Mommy!" Lily's exclamation told me that Bella was home. I was surprised that I hadn't heard the car or the front door.

"Hi baby." I turned around to see Bella hugging Lily tightly. "Did you have fun camping?"

"Uh-huh, it was sooo much fun!"

I couldn't look away from her, and the need to reach out and touch her was almost overwhelming. She let go of Lily and straightened up, and I quickly turned around when her eyes shifted from Lily to me.

"We went fishing, and hiking, and we made a campfire and told scary stories," Lily started telling Bella about our camping trip.

"That sounds like a lot of fun."

"It really, really was. I took a lot of pictures, and dad and I put them on a CD and if you want we can show you after dinner."

"I'd like that."

"Daddy, I'm hungry!"

I turned around again to see her looking up at me expectantly.

"Dinner will be ready in five minutes," I said, forcing a smile onto my face.

I glanced over at Bella before turning back to the food, but the expression on her face gave nothing away. I had no idea what she was thinking.

"I'll just go wash up," she said, quickly leaving the kitchen.

I heard her go upstairs, and then the door to the bedroom closed behind her.

The timer went off, signaling that the pasta was done, and I took the pot off the stove and poured off the water. I added some butter to the pasta before pouring it into a bowl that I put on the table, next to the bowl with vegetables. The sauce was finished a few minutes later, and Lily and I sat down at the table.

I put some pasta and sauce on each of our plates, and then vegetables. Without thinking about it, I put some extra vegetables on Bella's plate, just like I had since we had found out about the baby. I felt the pain clawing at my insides when I realized this, but kept it at bay, for Lily's sake.

A moment later, Bella came back downstairs and sat down at the table. She had changed into jeans and a t-shirt and put her hair up. She had missed a strand of hair and it curled down her back. I wanted to reach out and wind it up into the ponytail, but was afraid of how she would react to my touch, so I didn't.

Lily was the one who kept the sporadic conversation going through dinner, every now and then saying something about the camping trip, or the Fourth of July celebration, or our trip to Dairy Queen earlier today.

When she had swallowed the last bit of food on her plate, she stood up.

"What do you say before leaving the table?" Bella asked her.

"May I be excused?" she wondered, turning to me and making use of her best puppy eyes. I couldn't say no to those eyes.

"Sure, go ahead and get the TV set up," I told her, and she happily bounced off into the living room.

Bella finished the last of her food and got up as well, putting hers and Lily's plates, glasses and cutlery into the dishwasher. I stood to do the same, and when Bella turned around, she was suddenly right in front of me, only a few inches away.

She froze, her eyes straight ahead for a moment, then she looked up at me. Her eyes pulled me in, like magnets, and I saw pain in their depths. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and take that pain away, but I couldn't, because it was my fault that she was in pain in the first place. I tore my eyes from hers, and stared out the window as she left the kitchen.

I heard when Lily started the slide on the TV and told Bella about the first picture, from when we were pitching the tents at the campsite.

I busied myself around the kitchen, cleaning the pots and pans and starting the dishwasher, and then I joined Bella and Lily on the couch in the living room. Lily was talking about our fishing excursion, explaining how to use her new casting rod, and Bella was listening intently. I watched her watch the photos on the screen, her attention fixed on the TV. She never looked away, though she must have felt me watching her.

After the picture show, Lily wanted to watch _Monsters, Inc._, so we turned it on.

When the movie was over, Lily started yawning. I checked my watch; it was only eight thirty. But she had gotten up earlier than usual this morning, since she had fallen asleep in the car on the way home last night.

"Time for bed, sweetie?" Bella wondered.

"Can I read for a while?"

"Sure," Bella agreed.

"OK." Lily got up and gave Bella a hug. "Night, mommy."

"Goodnight, baby."

I opened my arms, and she hugged me too.

"Night, daddy."

"Good night, princess," I mumbled into her hair, hugging her a little tighter than usual.

I let her go, and she headed upstairs. When I heard the door to the bathroom close, I became very aware of the silence she left behind.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I wondered, just to say something. "_The Hangover_ is on at nine."

"Sure." Bella nodded.

There was a bubble of space between us, and I wanted to move closer to her, wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her to me. But I hesitated for a moment, and then she moved into the corner of the couch, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees. She didn't want me close to her.

I hated sitting here and not be able to touch her. I hated not being able to ask what she was thinking. I hated this whole situation, but I couldn't do anything to change it, because I was too much of a coward to take her accusations like a man and deal with that. I was too afraid of losing her to risk that – I would rather let time take its course and hope that, at some point, she would be able to forgive me and we would work things out together.

There was a sitcom on before the movie, and I watched it without interest, all the while watching Bella out of the corner of my eye. She kept her eyes on the screen, her arms tight around her legs. When the sitcom ended, she leaned her chin against her knees and remained like that for the entire movie.

I kept watching her, out of the corner of my eye, and every now and then, she glanced over at me. I quickly looked away when she did that, not wanting her to think that I was keeping an eye on her or something.

As soon as the movie was over, she got up.

"I'm going to bed," she announced, half-turning to leave.

"I'll be right there," I said, keeping my eyes fixed on the screen so they wouldn't give away how much I wanted her to ask me to come to bed with her.

I heard her footsteps on the stairs, then in the upstairs hallway and our bedroom. The water turned on, and I imagined her brushing her teeth and washing her face before she went back into the bedroom and changed into the t-shirt and shorts that she always slept in. She would crawl into bed, turn the lights off and curl up on her side; she always fell asleep like that, and then she would turn around at some point during the night and cuddle up to me in her sleep.

I wanted to go up there, to get into bed behind her and hold her to me as she slipped into unconsciousness. But I couldn't bear the idea that she might shy away from me, so I stayed where I was. I flipped through the channels on the TV, finally settling on a football game. I didn't know who were playing, and I didn't care about the score, but I watched anyway.

When I was sure Bella would be asleep, I silently climbed the stairs. I opened the door to Lily's room slowly, not wanting it to creak and wake her up. She was fast asleep, curled into a ball under the covers, just like I knew Bella would be. A nightlight was on in one of the corners, and a penguin – Mr. Snowy – was lying on the floor next to the bed. I tiptoed into the room and picked him up, tucking him under the covers next to Lily. She still slept with him in the bed every night.

I left her room and closed the door behind me before entering our bedroom. Bella had left the bathroom door slightly ajar, and the light was on in there, so I could see her in the bed.

Like I had anticipated, she lay curled into a ball, facing me. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was deep and even, but the little crease between her eyebrows that always appeared when she was thinking hard or worrying about something was there. Even in sleep, she wasn't completely peaceful.

I pulled off my jeans and t-shirt and got into the bed behind her. Like I had wanted to earlier, I put my arms around her and held her close. She shifted a little, restlessly, and rolled around, tucking her face into my shoulder. At least in sleep she didn't push me away.


	7. 7 Vicious Circle

**AN: Next chapter for you guys, hope you like it. I know you want to move on to happier stuff, and so do I, but I need to get though this first. I promise it'll get better soon.**

**I got a question in a review of the last chapter that I thought I'd address here, I don't know if anyone else is wondering. The mention to Edward's stay at a rehab clinic refers back to what he told Bella in chapter 8 – Three Little Words in "Hearts in Pain", about why he and his family left Los Angeles. Hope I didn't confuse anyone with this distant connection!**

**Disclaimer: Same as always – not mine. **

**7 – Vicious Circle**

**Bella**

I got a sense of déjà vu when I woke up on Tuesday – the ringing of the alarm clock, the empty bed, the heavy feeling in my body, like I was submerged in water. And then the pain.

They say time heals all wounds. I had never wanted to believe that as desperately as I did now – and never before had that idea felt more distant. How could time possibly heal something like this?

I followed my routine from yesterday; getting up, turning the water on in the shower, standing under the spray until my body started working somewhat properly again, drying my hair, putting on the clothes I had picked out last night. When I was done, I took one last look in the mirror before leaving the room. At least my eyes weren't red-rimmed this morning. Some progress.

Edward was at the stove again when I came into the kitchen, increasing my feeling of déjà vu.

"Hey," I greeted him quietly, sitting down at the table.

"Morning." He turned, just like yesterday, my favorite crooked smile on his lips. But just like yesterday, it didn't reach his eyes, and he didn't meet mine. "Are you hungry?"

I felt my stomach growl in response, and he chuckled – the sound was so familiar, and for a moment, I let myself believe that it was just another morning.

"I'll take that as a yes," he concluded, putting a plate down in front of me. "I made you a cheese omelet."

"Thank you."

Like yesterday, he got me a glass of orange juice and a mug of coffee as well. When he had put the mug down on the table, I expected him to leave the room, but instead he sat down opposite me, an omelet on a plate in front of him as well.

We ate in silence for a while, but it wasn't the comfortable silence that usually filled the room at moments like this. Instead, the silence from last night was back; awkward, pointed.

After a moment, I got the feeling that he was about to say something, and I looked up at him. But he just looked away, focusing back on the food in front of him.

I ate quickly, the need to get away from his silence growing with each bite. I downed the last of the orange juice, put my plate in the sink and was about to leave the room when he finally said something.

"Lily wanted to go to Puyallup yesterday, but I told her we could go all three of us on Saturday instead."

I paused, my back to him. Puyallup… right, the fairground, Lily loved it.

"Sure," I agreed, turning around slowly. "But I have the launch party that night."

"Right." He frowned. "I had forgotten about that."

So had I.

"I have to make an appearance, but you don't have to go with me if you don't…"

"Don't be silly, of course I'll go with you," he cut me off, and I felt a rush of relief.

"OK, thank you."

He looked up at me then, a disbelieving expression on his face. I didn't have the energy to try to analyze it right now.

"I'm just going to get ready, and then I'm going in to work."

I left the room and climbed the stairs, going into the bathroom to brush my teeth. He was still sitting at the table when I came back downstairs.

"I'll see you tonight," I said, grabbing the car keys off the counter.

"Do you want anything special for dinner?" he wondered.

I thought for a moment. The idea of food felt somewhat ridiculous at the moment.

"Maybe chicken?" I suggested, not because I really wanted it, but to have something to say.

"Esme's famous chicken cacciatore it is, then," he replied with a smile, and for a moment I thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be OK. And then he looked away, the smile disappearing from his face.

"OK, bye."

I quickly left the house, grateful that I had the office to go to. Suddenly, my four week long upcoming vacation didn't hold any appeal to me. Luckily, we would be going up to Forks and then Renée and Phil would be coming to stay, so there would be other people around.

I spent the morning working on a new campaign I had been assigned last week, trying out different ideas. At eleven, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_What's wrong?" _Alice's voice demanded to know.

"Hi Alice. Why would you think something is wrong?" I wondered nervously. Had she talked to Edward?

"_Because I know you,"_ she replied, and I let out a sigh of relief. She didn't know anything. _"And you have 'something is wrong' voice."_

"I'm just a little stressed out with work," I lied.

She was quiet for a moment, apparently deliberating whether or not to believe me.

"_Oh, OK,"_ she finally said, not sounding completely convinced.

"So, was there a reason you called?" I wondered. I didn't think I could keep lying to Alice for very long at the moment.

"_I can't call just to talk to my favorite sister-in-law?"_ she asked in an almost insulted voice. I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Don't let Rose hear you say that," I warned her half-heartedly.

"_Oh, she doesn't care."_

"_I don't,"_ I heard Rosalie call in the background.

"And nice try, by the way."

"_Oh, fine,"_ she surrendered. _"Mom and dad went in to Forks for a while, and I took the opportunity to call and say that we're all chipping in to get them a cruise for their anniversary next month."_

Carlisle and Esme were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary on August twenty-second.

"That sounds nice, I'm sure they'll love it."

"_I think so too, Rosalie found this amazing cruise ship online, with spa and great food, and deluxe suites, the whole lot,"_ she said._ "I called Edward to talk to him about it, but he's not answering his cell or at home."_

"Oh. They're probably out in the backyard or something, I'll tell him about it tonight."

"_That's what I was hoping you'd say. OK, got to go, Rose and I are having a girls' day, the guys took Noah down to the beach at La Push for a couple of hours."_

"Go, have fun. I'll talk to you soon."

"_OK, I will. And hey..." _She hesitated for a moment. _"Call me if you want to talk, OK? Any time, you know that."_

I should have known I wouldn't be able to fool her. She knew me much too well.

"I know," I said, surprised that the lump in my throat didn't make my voice shake.

"_Good. Bye."_

I hung up the phone and focused back on work, my thoughts lingering on Alice and our conversation. I wanted to call her back, to tell her everything and ask her what I was supposed to do. I desperately needed to talk to someone, someone who would tell me that none of this was my fault. I needed someone to tell me that everything was going to be fine.

But I didn't call.

**Edward**

"Hey." Bella's voice was so quiet that I at first thought that I had imagined it.

"Morning." I turned around to find her sitting at the table. I studied her face intently for a moment – she was staring down at the table, and didn't seem to notice. I was glad when I saw that she hadn't been crying. At least not recently. "Are you hungry?"

As I said that, her stomach growled loudly, and I couldn't help but laugh. Her stomach always gave her away.

"I'll take that as a yes." I took the plate with the already finished omelet and put it down in front of her. "I made you a cheese omelet."

"Thank you." She didn't look up at me as she said that. I wanted to grab her, shake her, make her look me in the eyes, talk to me – even yell. But that wouldn't help my case one bit.

I poured orange juice into a glass and coffee into a mug and put both down on the table. Then I slid the omelet from the frying pan onto a plate and sat down opposite her.

She seemed surprised at this, and I assumed that she had expected me to leave the kitchen while she ate, like I had yesterday. But I didn't want to do that only to come back down and discover that she had left without saying goodbye. She was only going to work, only leaving for a couple of hours, but I still needed to be there to say goodbye to her.

The silence that filled the room was uncomfortable, loaded. I felt like I should say something just to break it, but I didn't know what to say.

_I'm sorry._

When she got up from the table, I decided to go with something less risky.

"Lily wanted to go to Puyallup yesterday, but I told her we could go all three of us on Saturday instead."

She stopped on her way out of the room and then turned around.

"Sure. But I have the launch party that night."

The launch party. How could I have forgotten that? She had been talking about it for weeks.

"Right. I had forgotten about that."

"I have to make an appearance, but you don't have to go with me if you don't…" she started, but I cut her off.

"Don't be silly, of course I'll go with you," I said quickly. Then I realized that maybe she didn't want me to go with her…

"OK, thank you."

Thank you? Did she think she had to thank me for going with her? Didn't she know that I would do anything for her? I gave her a disbelieving look, and she turned away from me.

"I'm just going to get ready, and then I'm going in to work."

She left the kitchen, going back upstairs. I knew exactly what she was doing; brushing her teeth, brushing through her hair one more time to make sure it was perfect, putting on her watch.

Five minutes later, she came back downstairs. She didn't look at me as she went over to the counter by the fridge where the car keys were lying.

"I'll see you tonight."

I didn't want her to leave.

"Do you want anything special for dinner?" I asked, trying to keep her here with me for only a little longer.

She contemplated the subject for a moment.

"Maybe chicken?" She made it sound like a question.

"Esme's famous chicken cacciatore it is, then." I smiled at her, and she finally met my eyes. Hers weren't the usual deep, chocolate brown wells, but tired, sad, depthless. I quickly looked away.

"OK, bye."

She left the room before I had a chance to say anything else.

I went upstairs and took a shower while I waited for Lily to get up. She slept later than usual, not stumbling down the stairs until a little after nine.

I made some toast for breakfast, and when she asked if she could eat in front of the TV, I let her. Usually, food was limited to the kitchen, but I just couldn't say no to her right now.

I sat with her as she ate, laughing when she did without knowing what was funny, or even what show was on.

We spent the morning in the backyard – the weather was still uncharacteristically warm and sunny for Seattle. Lily bounced from the trampoline to the swing set and back continuously and I sat on the porch swing, watching her unwavering energy. I wondered when that disappeared – it would come in handy in adult life as well.

As I sat there, I remembered when Bella and I had sat in the same spot on my birthday. The memory of that happy moment, that day, brought a sad smile to my lips. How could so much have changed so fast? I stored the memory of that day away and promised myself that we would get back there, get back to being happy. I couldn't quite figure out how right now, but I would.

I jumped a little when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw that it was Alice calling. I ignored it; I wasn't in the mood to talk to her right now.

After lunch, we picked Catie up and went to Build-A-Bear Workshop in Bellevue. The girls had a great time. Lily picked out a penguin, of course, and Catie tiger, and then they got to help stuff them and give them hearts and pick out clothes. Lily's penguin became a cheerleader and Catie's tiger got a princess dress.

It was a little after four when we got back to the house. Catie came back with us, since she was staying over tonight before we were going to the zoo tomorrow. The girls went into the back yard while I started preparing dinner in the kitchen. Every now and then, I went into the living room to check that they weren't on the trampoline, but they were playing with their latest toys, taking turns to push them in the baby swing on the swing set.

The front door opened a little before five, and I frowned.

"Hello?" Bella called into the house.

What was she doing home already? She never left the office before five.

"Hey. Kitchen!" I called back, and a moment later, she appeared in the doorway. "You're early."

"Michelle practically threw me out of the office. She says I've been working too hard lately," she replied, shrugging.

I frowned. Had she? She always got wrapped up when she was working on a big campaign, but she had fun, so I had never stopped to think about whether or not she was overdoing it.

"Maybe you have," I suggested.

The timer went off, and I turned to take the chicken off the stove. I felt Bella's eyes on my back.

"Are the girls outside?" she wondered, her voice a little shaky.

"Yeah, they're playing with their new 'bears'."

She left the room without another word, and I heard the patio doors open and close. Had I said something to make her mad?

**Bella**

"You know, I'm seriously starting to reconsider giving you the Natural Woman campaign."

I looked up and found Michelle standing in the doorway to my office.

"Why?" I wondered nervously. I had taken on the account today, wanting as much to do as possible so I could distract myself from everything else.

"It's four thirty, the sun is still shining, however unlikely that may seem, and your family is waiting. What are you still doing here?"

"I don't get off until five," I replied incredulously. She knew that.

"And you don't start until nine, still you were here half an hour early this morning," Michelle countered.

"It's fine, really," I insisted. "I'm just going to finish this, and then I'm leaving."

"You've been working too hard these past couple of months, with the Olsen campaign."

Had I? Since I loved my job, I sometimes didn't think about the fact that I got too deeply involved in the campaigns I was working on. I'd get a good idea at nine in the evening and spend three hours in front of the computer, trying to get it right.

What if I had been working too hard? What if that was why…

"Go, it's an order!" Michelle's words saved me from going down a path that would lead to no good. I couldn't let myself think like that. Even if it might be true.

"Fine," I surrendered, knowing that she would drag me out of here if she thought it was necessary.

I turned to the computer and logged off before taking my purse and leaving the office. Michelle walked me all the way to the elevator, as if she thought I'd double back if she left me alone.

The smell of chicken welcomed me when I got home. That smell always reminded me of the Saturday so many years ago in Port Angeles and the first time I had been to Edward's house and met Esme.

"Hello?" I called after closing the door behind me.

"Hey," Edward called back. "Kitchen!"

Believe it or not, I had figured that out on my own. I walked down the hallway in the direction of his voice, and when I got into the kitchen, he looked up at me.

"You're early," he noted.

"Michelle practically threw me out of the office," I replied. "She says I've been working too hard lately."

I could see a frown on his face.

"Maybe you have."

I froze at his words. The timer went off, and he turned back to the food on the stove.

Was he really saying that I shouldn't have worked so much, that he thought that was why… I quickly averted my thoughts.

"Are the girls outside?" I asked, my voice shaking a little. I hoped he didn't notice.

"Yeah, they're playing with their new 'bears'."

I hurried out of the room before he could say anything else.

Lily and Catie were on the swings in the backyard.

"Hey girls," I greeted them, plastering a smile on my face.

"Mommy!" Lily exclaimed, jumping off the swing. "Look at Dory!" She held out the stuffed penguin dressed like a cheerleader to me.

"Dory?" I repeated in a questioning tone.

"From _Finding Nemo_."

Of course. Most of Lily's toys were named after characters from different cartoons and movies.

"And what's your tiger's name?" I asked Catie.

"Nala."

Ah, _The Lion King_. Well, lion, tiger… close enough.

"Those are great names. So you had fun at Build-A-Bear?"

Stupid question – they loved the workshop. I actually liked it too, even if I felt a little silly when I was asked to rub the heart and blow on it before putting it into the bear.

"Uh-huh," Lily said, and both she and Catie nodded vigorously.

"And we're going to the zoo tomorrow," Catie added.

"Right, you are. You have to take tons of pictures for me, OK."

"Can't you come with us?" Lily wondered longingly.

"I'm sorry, baby." I tucked a strand of hair that had escaped from her pony tail behind her ear. "But I have to go to work tomorrow, you know that."

"That sucks!" she announced. "Why can dad stay home all summer when you have to go to work?"

"Well, my job is a little different from dad's job."

In truth, I wouldn't have to work at all if I didn't want to. Edward made more than enough money to support us. The thing was that I loved my job, and I knew that I needed something outside the house if I wanted to stay sane. But I couldn't tell Lily that; she might feel hurt.

"But we're going to Puyallup on Saturday, right?" she asked.

"Yes we are," I assured her.

"OK."

"Dinner's ready!" Edward called from the house.

"OK girls, time to eat." I ushered them ahead of me into the house. "What do you want to do after dinner? This is a slumber party after all."

"Can we do manicures and pedicures?" Lily wondered excitedly, and I sighed.

Apparently she had not only gotten her love of camping from her father and grandfather, but she had gotten her love of girly stuff from her aunt. Just my luck. I was going to kill Alice for talking about manicures.

"I don't think we have the stuff we would need for that," I hedged. "How about if we make s'mores and watch movies?"

"_Madagascar_!" Lily and Catie exclaimed together.

"Sure. One and two."

After dinner, Edward lit the grill in the backyard, so that we could make 'real' s'mores. The girls jumped on the trampoline while they waited for the treats to be ready, and I sat down in one of the lawn chairs by the grill.

"Was work OK, other than being kicked out by Michelle?" Edward asked after a few minutes of silence.

"It was," I replied. "I got a new account, a local cosmetic company that's trying to establish itself nationwide."

"Sounds like just the kind of thing you'd love."

"It is." In truth, I had gotten a little bored working on the Olsen campaign. "All their products are made from natural ingredients, nothing artificial. I'm meeting with their people tomorrow, but I already have some ideas."

"Whatever you do, it'll be great," he told me. "Everything you do is great."

"Thank you." A small smile spread on my face of its own accord. It felt nice to not have to fake it. A matching smile was on his face, and for a moment, we sat there, staring into each other's eyes.

"Daddy, are the s'mores ready yet!" Lily called, effectively putting an end to our little 'moment'.

Edward got up and checked the grill.

"Yep, come on down."

The rest of the evening went by in a flurry of candy and movies. Since they were having a slumber party, we let the girls stay up a little later than normal, and when the second movie was over, it was almost ten thirty.

"OK, time for bed!" Edward announced.

"I'm calling it a night too," I said, yawning.

"OK, night everyone."

Lily gave Edward a hug before she and Catie took off up the stairs. I ached to do the same, to touch him, but he turned his attention to the television, and I went up to bed alone.

He still hadn't come upstairs when I fell asleep, just like last night.

xxxxx

The rest of the week went by in a similar fashion. Edward would be in the kitchen when I got up in the mornings, making me breakfast, and he never came to bed before I fell asleep at night. When I got home from work, we'd talk, but not about anything special. I'd tell him about work and he'd tell me about what he and Lily had been doing during the day. We'd talk about the trip to Puyallup and my vacation. Safe subjects.

To an outsider, everything probably looked fine. But I knew better. I could tell that something was very wrong. It was obvious in the way he always kept a safe distance between us, the way he never touched me. We always touched – sometimes it was just his hand at the small of my back when we walked down the street, but it was always something.

Sometimes I caught him looking at me in a strange way I had never seen before, and I wondered what he was thinking. But I was too scared of the answer to ask. And so it continued.

Lily had a great time at Puyallup on Saturday. Catie went with us, and the two of them ran from ride to ride and into Toonzville and Sillyville. Edward and I had a hard time keeping up with them.

On the way home, we dropped Catie and Lily off at Catie's place; Lily was spending the night there so we wouldn't have to worry about picking her up after the launch party. I had decided that this would be a good opportunity for me and Edward to talk, with Lily out of the house, but, again, I chickened out.

When we got home, I went upstairs to take a shower and change. The party was black tie optional, and I thanked my lucky star that Alice had forced me to get a dark blue, strapless, full length dress the last time Macy's had their annual sale. I had asked her when I would ever wear it, and she had replied that it was good to always have a formal dress in your closet. As always with fashion, it turned out she was right.

I got dressed and went into the bathroom to fix my hair and put some makeup on. When I was just adding one last layer of mascara, Edward came into the bathroom and for a moment, all I could do was stare at him.

It had only been a week since we had slept together, but the sight of him in nothing but boxers took my breath away.

"I'm just going to take a quick shower before getting dressed," he told me, turning the water on.

"OK," I managed to get out. "I'm done, so I'll be downstairs. The car should be here in half an hour."

"OK." He stood with his back to me and took off his boxers before stepping into the shower. It took all the willpower I possessed not to get in there with him. That and the fear that he would push me away.

Instead, I went into the bedroom and was about to continue down the stairs when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Bella,"_ Alice said over the line. _"How're things?"_

Honestly? They could be better.

"Good, we're just about to head out soon, actually."

"_Right, that big party tonight. I'm sure it'll be a huge success."_

"I hope so."

"_So, is my brother around? I've called him three times these last couple of days, and he still hasn't called me back. I'm starting to wonder if he's avoiding me."_

"I'm sure that's not the case," I assured her. "But he's actually in the shower."

"_Of course."_ Alice sighed. _"Will you tell him that everything's set about that thing next month?"_

"Will do."

"_Thanks. And Bella?"_

"Yeah?"

"_You OK?"_

I felt tears rise up in my eyes at her question, and furiously blinked them away. I didn't want to ruin my makeup.

"I'm fine, Alice." Even I could hear my voice shake.

"_Why don't I believe you?"_

"Alice, please, just…" I took a shaky breath. "I can't. Not right now."

If I started, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop.

"_OK."_ I was surprised that she didn't argue. _"But don't think this is the end of this conversation."_

"I won't." I knew her better than to believe that she would let it go this easily.

"_OK, good. Now go to that big party of yours, and try to have some fun, you hear me!"_

"I will."

"_Good girl. And whatever it is, it'll be OK."_

"Yeah," I said without much conviction.

"_OK, bye."_

"Bye."

I hung up and sat down on the bed. Just like the last time we had talked, I wanted to call her back and tell her everything, get every fear and doubt and worry off my chest and hear her tell me again that it would be OK.

"Was that the phone?"

Edward's voice made me jump. I looked up to find him in the doorway to the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel, his hair wet from the shower. I gulped.

"Yeah, it was Alice," I told him, willing my voice not to give me away. I had to look away from him to be able to remember what the conversation had been about. "She said that she's been trying to get a hold of you all week."

"She has?" He frowned and grabbed his cell off the bedside table. "Something must be wrong with my phone, I haven't gotten any missed calls."

"Oh. Well, she wanted me to tell you that they've taken care of everything for your parents' cruise."

"Great."

He went over to the closet, took his black suit out and hung it on the door. I heard a car pull up outside, and checked my watch.

"That must be the car, but it's early." I got up off the bed. "I'll go ask them to wait a few minutes." If I had to watch him getting dressed, my self-control was sure to snap.

"OK, I'll be right there." He gave me a smile over his shoulder. "You look beautiful, by the way."

I felt a blush on my cheeks.

"Thanks."

It was silly, but that little compliment made me feel all warm inside, like I was sixteen again.

**Edward **

We had a good time at Puyallup on Saturday – well, Lily and Catie had a blast, and Bella and I enjoyed watching them have fun. The two of us remained in our little uncomfortable, silent bubble. OK, it might not be silent, but we didn't talk about anything more 'risky' than the weather and the different rides and the food.

I had been glad when Bella had suggested that Lily could stay over at Catie's tonight. The most obvious reason was that it would make sense; the party might not be over until midnight, and pulling Lily out of bed then only to take her home wasn't logical. I hoped she had another reason for arranging it though – giving us the opportunity to talk, without having to worry about Lily being in the next room.

The week had been… trying. Life with Bella used to be as easy as breathing, and now I didn't know how to act around her. I was afraid to do those little things that used to be a natural part of our everyday life because she might not want me to; sitting next to her on the couch when we watched TV after Lily had gone to bed, giving her a kiss before she left for work in the morning, taking her hand when we were outside. Touching her. We always touched, but now… I was terrified that if I did touch her, she'd pull away from me.

We got back from the fairground at five, and all my hopes that Bella would want to use this time to talk disappeared when she immediately went upstairs to take a shower and get ready. I tried not to be too disappointed; we'd have time to talk tomorrow morning.

I sat down on the couch and watched TV for a while. The car wasn't coming to pick us up until half past six, and I didn't need much time to get ready. A few minutes before six, I climbed the stairs and went into the bedroom. I pulled off my t-shirt and jeans before opening the door to the bathroom.

Bella was standing by the counter, putting on makeup. I never understood why she did that; she looked perfect without it.

The blue dress she was wearing clung to every curve of her body and her hair was up, leaving her neck exposed. For a moment, I had to use all the willpower I had to keep from pushing her up against the counter and make love to her right there. It had only been a week since we had been together, but for us, that was a long time. Even if we didn't normally sleep together every night, we had never gone this long before.

I got the more animalistic part of me under control and went into the still steamy bathroom. Bella looked up at me, and for a moment, I thought I saw that same desire and want in her eyes. I quickly turned my back on her.

"I'm just going to take a quick shower before getting dressed," I said. I reached into the shower stall and turned the water on. I twisted the knob controlling the heat – a cold shower was suddenly essential.

"OK. I'm done, so I'll be downstairs. The car should be here in half an hour."

"OK." I took my boxers off and stepped into the shower, wincing a little as the cold water hit my – for some reason – overheated skin. I closed my eyes and let the icy spray wash over my face as well.

I heard the door close behind Bella, and let out a sigh. For a split second, I had thought that she might join me. Stupid.

I stood under the cold spray for a couple of minutes, until I got my traitor body under control. Then I turned the water to a more human temperature and grabbed the shampoo bottle off the shelf. I thought I heard the sound of the phone in the bedroom.

I washed my hair and body and then got out of the shower, drying off. I wrapped the towel around my waist and left the bathroom. Bella was sitting on the bed, the cordless phone in her hand.

"Was that the phone?" I asked, and watched as she started. She looked up at me, and I thought I saw her eyes widen infinitesimally. I felt a rush of relief; I hadn't imagined the look in her eyes in the bathroom. She wasn't completely unaffected by me.

"Yeah, it was Alice. She said that she's been trying to get a hold of you all week."

Crap. I had been dodging Alice's calls, and it was just like her to call Bella about it. I really didn't want to talk to my dear sister at the moment; she knew me way too well and wouldn't be fooled by the fake cheerfulness in my voice. She'd see right through that and ask what was wrong. And I knew I wouldn't be able to lie to her.

"She has?" My cell was lying on the bedside table, and I picked it up, pretending to study it. "Something must be wrong with my phone, I haven't gotten any missed calls." A little white lie.

"Oh. Well, she wanted me to tell you that they've taken care of everything for your parents' cruise."

Right, the cruise. Bella had told me about Alice and Rosalie's idea the other day. I was sure Carlisle and Esme would love it.

"Great."

I realized I was still half-naked, and crossed the room to the closet where I found the suit I was looking for. The sound of a car outside made both Bella and me turn towards the window.

"That must be the car, but it's early." Bella go up from the bed. "I'll go ask them to wait a few minutes."

"OK, I'll be right there." I looked at her over my shoulder, and a smile automatically spread on my face. She looked absolutely stunning. "You look beautiful, by the way."

For an instant, I was afraid that she would simply ignore my compliment, but then a blush spread on her face.

"Thanks," she mumbled before leaving the room.

I smiled to myself. At least I could still make her blush. Maybe we'd be able to find our way back, eventually.


	8. 8 Interference

**AN: Like I said in the last AN, guys, I'm as anxious as you to get past this to the 'good stuff' so here we go! I would also like to explain the last chapter a little. I know that it was a little repetitive, and I'm sorry. But I needed to establish the situation a little more and get Alice into the picture for this chapter – you'll realize why soon. OK, that's it and I hope you like the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Still.**

**8 – Interference **

**Bella**

The party was a big success – Neil was happy, the clients were happy, Michelle was happy. I was relieved – finally, the Olsen job was really done. I had been working on that campaign since February, and now my work was paying off. This was the part of my job that I loved the most; when everything was coming together and the results of all the work that went into a campaign could finally be seen.

Of course, the relief over the job was tainted by the frustration of having Edward next to me all evening, sometimes only an inch or so away, but never close enough. It felt like we were acting, putting on a 'happy couple' show when in reality we… I wasn't sure what we were at the moment, and that thought scared me senseless.

Every now and then over the past couple of days, he'd smile at me, or say something, and I'd think that everything would be OK. Then he'd pull away, or not come to bed at night, and I'd go right back to fearing the worst.

The party lasted until well after midnight, and I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home. I wondered if Edward would stay away from the bedroom until I fell asleep again tonight, like every night the past week, but to my surprise, he followed me up the stairs.

We got ready for bed in silence, and I was the first to crawl under the covers. I lay there, anxious to see what he would do when he got in the bed behind me. Would he keep to his side, a safe no-touching zone between us? Or would he lay close behind me, like he used to before…

Reality was somewhere between the two. He didn't stay as close to the edge of the bed as he could have, but he didn't move closer to me than necessary either. I could feel the heat of his body radiating towards me under the covers, and all I wanted to do was turn around and cuddle up to him. I realized that this was going to be a long night.

To my surprise, I fell asleep almost immediately. The truth was I hadn't slept very well these last couple of days, and when I had slept, I'd had nightmares. To be able to sleep peacefully, I needed to know that he was there, close to me.

At some point during the night, I woke up. At first I was a little disoriented; there was an even, thumping sound beneath my ear and warm arms were wrapped around me.

After a moment, I realized that I was lying on Edward's chest, his arms tight around me. He was sound asleep; I could hear that from his even breathing. But at least that meant that he couldn't pull away from me. I snuggled in closer, and within minutes, I was asleep again. Safe in his arms.

When I woke up in the morning, he was gone. I squeezed my eyes shut against the stab of pain. In the middle of the night, with our bodies tangled up together under the covers, I had let myself believe that things would be different. I should have known better.

After a moment, the phone rang, making me jump. I quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"_Hi!"_ Angela's excited voice came over the line. I hadn't talked to her since they left on Monday.

"Hi, Ang," I greeted her back, trying to make my voice sound normal. "How's… where are you?" I tried to remember their travel plans, but came up blank.

"_Dublin, and it's absolutely fabulous. I love Ireland!"_

"I'm glad to hear it."

I leaned against the headboard, listening to her telling me all about London, where they had spent the first couple of days, and Dublin, where they had just arrived yesterday. Luckily, the conversation only required me to hum at appropriate intervals – something that didn't involve having to fake enthusiasm – while Angela took care of the rest.

xxxxx

The following week was nothing more than an echo of the last. By lunch on Friday, I was about ready to burst with anxiety and fear. Nothing had changed; Edward was still keeping a safe distance between us, never touching me. We still didn't talk about anything but work, Lily, the house, food… I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take.

I went down to the deli on the corner on my lunch break and bought a sandwich to take back to the office. Michelle had invited me to go to lunch with her, Allie and a couple of others, but I wasn't feeling social at all.

I ate the sandwich, and then sat staring out the window, seeing nothing.

Lily was going to a birthday/slumber party tonight; a girl in her class was turning nine and had invited all the girls from the class. So Edward and I would have the house to ourselves until tomorrow morning. I was so sick of the 'not quite silent but silent enough' situation that had been going on these past two weeks that I was prepared to confront him about it, even if that meant actually having to hear that he blamed me. I had gotten to the point where I would take the accusations over this, this… non-life that our coexistence had turned into. We lived side by side in the same house, but we didn't really live together anymore. And I hated it.

The phone rang just as I had come to my frightening decision, and I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"_Hi!"_

"Hi Alice."

"_Don't sound so ecstatic to hear my voice, I might let it go to my head."_

"Sorry, I'm a little stressed."

"_What else is new?"_ She paused. _"Are you sure that's it, though?"_

I felt a lump in my throat.

"There's just a lot going on right now," I mumbled.

"_Like what?"_ she demanded.

"Just work and… other stuff."

"_It's the 'other stuff' that I'm interested in. What's going on? You know you can talk to me."_

"I know, I just… I can't talk about it right now." I had trouble keeping the tears at bay as it was; if I told Alice about everything that was going on, I'd be sure to be a mess the rest of the day. "We're coming up next Friday, we can talk about it then."

"_OK,"_ she agreed, obviously grudgingly. _"But if my brother did something to…"_

"No, Alice, it's not like that," I interrupted her.

"_OK. Just try to hang in there, OK? It'll get better."_

"OK. Bye."

**Alice**

"_Hello?"_ Bella's voice sounded tired over the line.

"Hi!"

"_Hi Alice."_

"Don't sound so ecstatic to hear my voice, I might let it go to my head," I teased.

"_Sorry, I'm a little stressed."_

Oh, yeah? That excuse was getting old.

"What else is new?" I paused, but didn't wait for her to answer. "Are you sure that's it, though?"

"_There's just a lot going on right now."_ Her voice was very low, but I could still hear that she was fighting to keep the tears away.

"Like what?" I insisted. She obviously needed to talk about whatever this was.

"_Just work and… other stuff."_

"It's the 'other stuff' that I'm interested in. What's going on? You know you can talk to me."

"_I know, I just… I can't talk about it right now."_ It sounded like she was about to start crying at any moment. _"We're coming up next Friday, we can talk about it then."_

I decided not to push. She was at work, after all, not the best place for this conversation.

"OK." _Edward, I swear, if I find out that you did something to hurt her I won't be responsible for my actions._ "But if my brother did something to…"

"_No, Alice, it's not like that,"_ she cut me off.

I accepted that, because I didn't want to believe that he _could_ hurt her.

"OK. Just try to hang in there, OK? It'll get better."

"_OK. Bye."_

I hung up the phone and dialed another number. Just like every time in the past two weeks, there was no answer; the call went straight to voicemail. I hung up without leaving a message; it wasn't like he would call me back, anyway.

"OK, that's it," I mumbled to myself, grabbing my purse off the dresser.

"What's 'it'?" Jasper asked, coming into our bedroom.

"I'm going on a little trip," I replied, holding my hand out for the car keys. He handed them to me with a frown.

"Where to, exactly?" he wondered suspiciously.

"Seattle." I dropped my phone into my purse and opened the door to the closet to find my jacket. The weather had at last caught up with the Olympic Peninsula, and it had been raining for days. "I just talked to Bella, and there's definitely something wrong, but Edward won't take my calls. So I'm going down there to find out what the hell is going on."

"You don't think you're putting your nose in where it doesn't belong?" Jasper suggested tentatively. I glared at him.

"Bella is in pain." That much was obvious even after the three short conversations we'd had over the phone in the past two weeks. "If you'd talked to her, you'd know that. And my stupid brother is obviously not able to fix it, so someone has to. And she's my friend." I shoved past him and headed for the door.

"OK. Do you want me to go with you?"

I stopped dead in my tracks.

"You're not going to try to talk me out of it?" I had expected a little more arguing before he let me go. Which he would, in the end, we both knew that. But not this easily.

"If you say that Bella's hurting, I believe you. And I know you can help her, whatever it is that's going on. So, no. I'm not going to try to talk you out of it." He smirked at me. "Besides, we both know who would win in the end."

"True." I went back to him and gave him a kiss. "Thank you. But you don't have to come with me."

"OK. Drive safe."

"Always do."

I hurried down the stairs and out the front door. Within a few minutes, I was on the highway speeding towards Seattle.

**Bella**

I left the office at four on Michelle's insistence that everyone start the weekend a little early. I knew Edward wouldn't be home, since he was dropping Lily off at the birthday party, and a little time alone would probably be good. I needed to gather up some strength if I was going to confront him when he got back.

When I got home, I found a note pinned to the fridge.

_Picking up pizza on the way back – E_

I crumpled the paper up and threw it in the trash before going into the living room. I stood for a moment in front of the extensive CD collection next to the stereo before I picked out _Take us to the start_ and put it in the CD player.

_I'm burned out and wasted  
__I'm tired of pacing  
__I'm busy erasing voices of the dead  
__Everything changes  
__And everyone's faceless  
__I wanna replace this darkness in my head_

_In a strange strange place  
__I'm lying on the edge of a star  
__In these violent days  
__I only wanna be where you are  
__Even fools they say  
__Can find a way out of the dark  
__Of the dark  
__Help me out of the dark_

I sat down on the couch, taking deep breaths and trying to find my resolution. It had disappeared as soon as I got home, for some strange reason.

After a couple of minutes, I heard a car outside, and almost started hyperventilating.

"Stop it!" I said out loud. "Just get this over with. You can handle it."

I wasn't fooling myself. But I was at the end of my rope, so I had no choice but to go through with what I had decided to do.

I waited for the key in the lock, but instead, there was a knock on the door. I frowned and got up from the couch. Why would he knock?

"Alice?" I asked in astonishment when I opened the door and saw who was on the other side.

"Look, I know that this goes against the whole 'mind my own business' thing, but I just can't…"

I cut her off by throwing my arms around her neck.

"I'm so glad you're here," I mumbled through the tears that I was no longer able to hold back.

"Shh, it's OK."

She rubbed my back in soothing motions, and I was vaguely aware that she closed the door behind her and pulled me with her into the living room where she pushed me down on the couch.

For a while, we just sat there. Eventually, when my tears had run out, she pulled back and gave me a scrutinizing look.

"Now do you mind telling me what the hell's going on? I'm starting to fear the worst here."

I wondered if her worst and my worst were the same. In that case, she might be closer to the truth than she knew – closer than I wanted her to be.

"I had a…" The word stuck in my throat, but I knew that I had to get it out. I hadn't said it out loud since Doctor Wallace had told me, hadn't even been able to get myself to think it. I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands. "I had a miscarriage."

"What?" It was clear in Alice's voice that this was not something she had considered. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."

She wrapped an arm around me, and I leaned my head against her shoulder, the tears starting to roll down my cheeks again.

"When did this happen?" she asked after a moment.

"The weekend after Fourth of July. I was working on some stuff for a campaign, waiting for Edward and Lily to get back from their camping trip."

"What did the doctor say? Do they know why?"

I shook my head, swallowing hard to get my voice under control.

"She said that these things just happen, sometimes. Something about nature's way…" I trailed off. "But it was my fault. If I had just…"

"No!" she cut me off. "You can't think like that. It was not your fault. I don't know much about these kind of things, but I know that much."

"She said that too, that there was nothing I could have done. But I can't… I can't help but wonder, you know. Maybe if I hadn't worked so much, or if I had…"

"Stop it! You can't torture yourself like this."

I just shook my head and buried my face in my hands.

"We wanted this so much! And when it finally happened…"

"It'll be OK," Alice encouraged, her arm tight around my shoulders. "It wasn't meant to be this time, but you can try again, in a few months, right? Everything will be OK."

"I don't think it will," I whispered. "I don't know if we can get through this."

"Of course you will. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I don't know two people who love each other more than you and Edward. You'll be fine."

"He thinks it was my fault." My voice was barely a whisper.

I felt her stiffen next to me at my words. When she spoke again, she sounded furious.

"He said that to you?" she asked.

"He doesn't have to," I replied. "It's obvious. He won't talk to me. I mean, we talk, but not about anything that matters. He won't look at me, won't touch me. It's like he's right there, but I can't get close to him. Like there's an invisible wall between us. He'll never be able to forgive me for this."

"You don't need to be forgiven, you've done nothing wrong," she insisted.

"I can't even believe that myself, how could he?" I wondered, choking out the words. "It was _my_ body that failed, I'm the one who couldn't… couldn't…"

"Shh." She pulled me into an embrace again, and I buried my face against her shoulder.

"I was going to talk to him today," I mumbled when the tears started to subside and I was sure my voice wouldn't break. "Of course, I've decided to do that a dozen times in the last two weeks, and I've chicken out every time. I don't know if I could take hearing him actually say the words."

"I'll talk to him," she said, and I felt a rush of relief. She released me and glanced around the room. "Where is he, anyway?"

"He's taking Lily to a slumber party and then picking up pizza on the way back." I checked my watch. "He should be back soon."

"Why don't you go upstairs and lie down for a while?" Alice suggested. "You look exhausted."

I was. Crying always took all my energy away.

"OK," I agreed, getting up from the couch.

"And don't worry," Alice said with an evil look in her eyes. "I'll knock some sense into my idiot brother."

I managed to smile a little at that, and slowly walked up the stairs. I shut the blinds in the bedroom and took a blanket from the closet before lying down on the bed. I curled up into a ball and pulled the blanket over me, closing my eyes.

**Alice**

I got to Seattle in a little over three hours, and pulled into the driveway behind Bella's BMW at ten minutes after four. The Volvo wasn't there, though it could be in the garage.

I turned off the engine, crossed the lawn to the front door and knocked.

"Alice?" Bella looked more than a little surprised to see me, and I immediately went into defensive mode.

"Look, I know that this goes against the whole 'mind my own business' thing, but I just can't…"

I was caught off guard when she threw her arms around me.

"I'm so glad you're here." I could hear from her voice that she was crying, and I hugged her back tightly, rubbing her back.

"Shh, it's OK."

I kicked the door shut behind me and pulled Bella along into the living room. I sat down on the couch and pulled her down next to me.

I held her tightly as I waited for the tears to subside, and when they eventually did, I pulled away so I was able to look her in the eyes.

"Now do you mind telling me what the hell's going on? I'm starting to fear the worst here."

My words brought a look of pain to her eyes, and I cursed my brother for whatever he had done.

"I had a…" She paused, taking couple of deep breaths. When she continued, her eyes were fixed on her hands. "I had a miscarriage."

"What?" That was not what I had been expecting. Edward dodging my calls suddenly took on a whole new meaning; he knew that I would be able to tell if he was lying. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"When did this happen?"

"The weekend after Fourth of July. I was working on some stuff for a campaign, waiting for Edward and Lily to get back from their camping trip."

She had been here alone when it happened. My heart ached for her, imagining what it must have been like.

"What did the doctor say? Do they know why?"

She shook her head at my question.

"She said that these things just happen, sometimes. Something about nature's way… But it was my fault. If I had just…"

What? Did she really believe that? How could Edward have let her think something like that?

"No!" I interrupted her. "You can't think like that. It was not your fault. I don't know much about these kind of things, but I know that much."

"She said that too, that there was nothing I could have done. But I can't… I can't help but wonder, you know. Maybe if I hadn't worked so much, or if I had…"

It hurt to see her blaming herself for something that she'd had no control over.

"Stop it! You can't torture yourself like this."

She shook her head in what appeared to be disbelief and buried her face in her hands.

"We wanted this so much! And when it finally happened…" Her voice was muffled, and I had some difficulty hearing what she was saying.

"It'll be OK," I tried to encourage, even if I knew that it probably wouldn't do much good. "It wasn't meant to be this time, but you can try again, in a few months, right? Everything will be OK."

"I don't think it will." I had to really concentrate to hear what she was saying now. "I don't know if we can get through this."

That was just not an option. They had been through too much to let something like this ruin everything. And they needed each other, now more than ever before.

"Of course you will. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I don't know two people who love each other more than you and Edward. You'll be fine."

"He thinks it was my fault."

Her words didn't make sense at first, but when they sunk in, I was instantaneously furious.

"He said that to you?" How could he say something like that? Even if he was hurting, he should never have said that to her. Didn't he understand that it only made it worse, that she was already blaming herself? I was going to kill him!

"He doesn't have to. It's obvious. He won't talk to me. I mean, we talk, but not about anything that matters. He won't look at me, won't touch me. It's like he's right there, but I can't get close to him. Like there's an invisible wall between us. He'll never be able to forgive me for this."

Forgive her? Did she think she needed forgiveness?

"You don't need to be forgiven, you've done nothing wrong."

"I can't even believe that myself, how could he? It was _my_ body that failed, I'm the one who couldn't… couldn't…"

I could see her coming apart and pulled her into my arms again.

"Shh," I tried to sooth her. I held her close and rubbed her back while she cried.

"I was going to talk to him today." Her words were mumbled into my shoulder, but it seemed like she had stopped crying. "Of course, I've decided to do that a dozen times in the last two weeks, and I've chicken out every time. I don't know if I could take hearing him actually say the words."

At least I could do something for her.

"I'll talk to him," I said, pulling back. "Where is he, anyway?"

"He's taking Lily to a slumber party and then picking up pizza on the way back. He should be back soon."

"Why don't you go upstairs and lie down for a while?" I suggested. She looked like she could pass out at any moment. "You look exhausted."

"OK."

"And don't worry," I told her. "I'll knock some sense into my idiot brother."

The small smile on her lips in response to my words was a mere shadow of her usual smile, and I felt my heart break a little as I watched her leave the room. Would she ever get over this?

No. She wouldn't. But maybe she could move on, be happy again. I hoped so.

**Edward**

I stopped by Freemont Classic Pizzeria when I had dropped Lily off at the birthday party. The place was pretty busy, so my order wouldn't be ready for half an hour. While I waited, I took a walk up to Woodland Park and sat down on a bench close to the water, watching a little girl and her grandmother feed the ducks. It had been raining all day, but now the sky was just grey, no raindrops breaking the surface of the lake. I looked up at the sky and wondered if the past couple of weeks were the only sunshine we would get this summer.

As I sat there, I tried to work up the courage I would need for what I had planned. Lily was out of the house, and Bella and I would be alone. This week had passed much as the previous one, and I couldn't take it anymore. We couldn't continue living like this. So, despite the fact that my plan might have disastrous consequences, I was going to talk to her.

When the half hour was up, I left the park and went back to the pizzeria, picked up my pizza and drove home.

As soon as I turned onto our street, I saw Jasper's Chrysler in the driveway. What were they doing here?

I parked next to Bella's car and went inside.

"About time," Alice noted dryly when I entered the living room.

"What are you doing here?" I wondered.

"Well, you won't answer when I call, and Bella's been a mess these past couple of weeks, so I thought it was time to stop by."

"She told you." I slumped down in one of the armchairs and put the box with the pizza down on the table.

"Yeah." Alice glared at me. "How the hell could you do that to her?"

I winced at her words. I deserved them, but they still hurt.

"I know that this is all my fault, and I was going to try to fix it," I half-heartedly tried to defend myself. "Not that I know why she would forgive me."

"She shouldn't!" Alice exclaimed.

"I know, I know." But I hoped she would anyway.

"I mean, I get that you're hurting too, but to put this on her? Did you even listen to what the doctor told her? She couldn't have done anything that would have changed what happened."

As she spoke, I got more and more confused.

"What are you talking about?" I asked when she was finished.

"What are _you_ talking about?" she countered.

"I'm talking about the fact that I wasn't here, that I left her." I bit my lip. "Maybe if I had been here, it wouldn't have happened."

"Oh." She leaned back on the couch, a look of understanding appearing on her face. "So the reason you've been all distant and stuff is that you've been feeling guilty?"

"Of course." What was she getting at? "Why else?"

"Well, you might have been a little more clear about that!" she suggested, ignoring my question. "If you had just talked to her, you would have known that this wasn't your fault. And she wouldn't have thought that you were blaming her and…"

"She thinks that?" I interrupted. Why would she think that? "But it's not her fault."

"It's not yours either," Alice replied softly. "Neither of you are to blame for this, it just happened."

"I should have been here."

"You should, but you weren't. And that's not your fault either. Besides, even if you had been here, there's nothing that you could have done. It wouldn't have changed anything."

I let her words sink in. They didn't erase the guilt completely, but lessened it a little. And then something else occurred to me.

"She really thinks that I blame her?"

Alice nodded.

"She already blames herself, so when you were being all weird, she jumped to the first conclusion that came to mind."

I had no idea that my behavior these past two weeks had made her feel like that, and I cursed myself. It made me feel even more guilty, but I knew that I had to fix it. She shouldn't think like that. It wasn't her fault. Alice's words slowly made their way into my mind, and I realized that it wasn't mine, either. And if we were ever going to get through this, we had to work through this guilt that – apparently – we were both feeling.

"I have to talk to her. I have to fix this."

"She's upstairs," Alice told me. "I'll just head back to Forks, I think you can handle this now."

"Thank you."

I walked her to the door. Before she opened it, she turned and gave me a hug.

"I'm sorry this had to happen," she mumbled, and I felt a lump in my throat.

"Me too."

She pulled back and gave me an encouraging smile.

"You'll get through this," she said with more conviction than I felt at the moment. Her belief in me was reassuring.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." She opened the door. "Just fix this!"

"I will."

"Good. Then I'll see you next week."

"Bye, Alice. Thanks for butting in."

She smiled at me widely before walking to her car. I closed the door behind her and climbed the stairs.

**Alice **

Ten minutes after Bella had gone upstairs, I heard a car in the driveway and a moment later, Edward came into the room.

"About time," I said dryly.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Well, you won't answer when I call, and Bella's been a mess these past couple of weeks, so I thought it was time to stop by."

A pained expression appeared on his face.

"She told you," he concluded, dropping into one of the armchairs.

"Yeah." I shot him one of my most evil glares. "How the hell could you do that to her?"

I saw him flinch, and almost regretted my words. He was hurting too. But he was only making the situation worse.

"I know that this is all my fault, and I was going to try to fix it. Not that I know why she would forgive me."

"She shouldn't!" But, of course, she would.

"I know, I know."

"I mean, I get that you're hurting too, but to put this on her?" I was fuming now. "Did you even listen to what the doctor told her? She couldn't have done anything that would have changed what happened."

I watched the expression on his face get more and more perplexed as I spoke.

"What are you talking about?" he wondered when I was done.

What?

"What are _you_ talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that I wasn't here, that I left her. Maybe if I had been here, it wouldn't have happened."

"Oh." He was blaming himself for what happened, even though he'd been miles away. No, I corrected myself mentally. He's blaming himself _because_ he was miles away. That was just like him, taking the blame for everything, even things out of his control. "So the reason you've been all distant and stuff is that you've been feeling guilty?"

"Of course," he said, like that was obvious. And, of course, to him it was. "Why else?"

I ignored his question and focused on the problem here – a misunderstanding, but a major one.

"Well, you might have been a little more clear about that! If you had just talked to her, you would have known that this wasn't your fault. And she wouldn't have thought that you were blaming her and…"

"She thinks that?" he cut me off. "But it's not her fault."

"It's not yours either," I told him. "Neither of you are to blame for this, it just happened."

"I should have been here," he insisted.

"You should, but you weren't. And that's not your fault either. Besides, even if you had been here, there's nothing that you could have done. It wouldn't have changed anything."

He was silent for a moment, contemplating my words.

"She really thinks that I blame her?"

I nodded at his question.

"She already blames herself, so when you were being all weird, she jumped to the first conclusion that came to mind."

"I have to talk to her. I have to fix this."

"She's upstairs." He had the situation under control now. "I'll just head back to Forks, I think you can handle this now."

"Thank you."

He followed me to the door, and before leaving, I gave him a big hug. He looked like he needed one.

"I'm sorry this had to happen." I hated that it had. They didn't deserve this kind of pain.

"Me too."

"You'll get through this," I told him with determination. They had to.

"Thanks."

"Anytime. Just fix this!"

"I will." He sounded a little more optimistic now.

"Good. Then I'll see you next week."

"Bye, Alice. Thanks for butting in."

I smiled to myself as I got in the car. Sometimes, butting in was the right thing to do.

**AN: The song in this chapter is **_**Out of the dark**_** by Matt Hires – amazing song (I'm a tad bit addicted to it at the moment, thank you **_**One Tree Hill**_**!)**


	9. 9 Reconciliation

**AN: Here we go guys; The Talk. Hope you like the chapter, let me know!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**9 – Reconciliation **

**Edward**

I paused outside the closed door to our bedroom, trying to listen to Bella's breathing through the door. I didn't hear anything, of course, so I couldn't know if she had fallen asleep or not.

I opened the door silently and discovered her on the bed. She was curled up on her side, a blanket wrapped tightly around her body. Her breathing was deep and even, but as I moved closer to the bed, I saw a tear on her cheek.

I crouched down next to her and reached out to wipe the lone tear away. She couldn't have been very deeply asleep, because when I touched her face, she opened her eyes.

"Hey," I said quietly, not completely sure how to start.

"Hey," she mumbled back. "Did you see Alice?"

"I did, she just left."

"OK." Her eyes flickered away from mine, focusing on some point behind me. I remembered Alice's words. _She already blames herself_…

I had been completely blind. I had thought that she was pulling away from me because she was mad that I hadn't been there when she needed me. And she had thought that I was doing the same because I blamed her. How had we ended up so deep in this mess?

"I'm sorry," I murmured quietly. I saw a fresh tear roll down her cheek at my words, and quickly wiped it away. "Don't cry."

"You don't have to apologize," she said, shaking her head. "I understand why you would feel that way."

"I don't feel like that."

The little crease between her eyebrows appeared.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't blame you for what happened, I never did." I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have done anything."

"But then why…"

"When I got home that night, and you told me," I cut her off gently. "I felt like I had failed you. I should have been here, and I wasn't, and I don't know if I can ever completely get over that. I thought that, maybe, if I had been here…"

"You thought that you could have done something," she guessed.

"Yeah," I replied. "I mean, logically, I knew that it wouldn't have made a difference. But I still felt powerless."

"I know what you mean," she agreed quietly.

"And I'll never forgive myself for not being here when you needed me."

"You couldn't have known," she objected.

"I know." That didn't help one bit though.

"So when you weren't here in the morning…"

"I expected you to be mad at me, blame me for not being here," I continued her sentence. "I did."

"And I thought that you blamed me."

"We ended up in a vicious circle," I concluded.

I was a little surprised when she threw her arms around my neck, but I gratefully pulled her closer, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist.

**Bella**

Edward's arms snaked around my waist, and I wrapped mine just as tightly around his neck, not wanting even an inch of space between us. The relief that his words had brought was almost physical, and my whole body had suddenly relaxed. I hadn't even realized that I had been so tense until that tension was gone.

_He doesn't blame me_. That thought was the only thing that fit in my mind at the moment, overflowing it. _He doesn't blame me_.

After a moment, I felt him move next to me, and realized that he couldn't be very comfortable, crouching on the floor like that. I tried to pull away, to let him stand up, but he only held me tighter. He somehow managed to get up, pick me up off the bed and then sit down on it with me in his lap.

I tucked my head in between his shoulder and chin, and sighed.

"I've missed this," I mumbled. "I hated not being able to touch you when I wanted to."

"I know." He chuckled. "The other night, in the bathroom…"

I remembered, and joined in his laughter. It felt nice to be able to laugh with him again.

"We're not very good at physical abstinence, are we?" I concluded, pulling away a little so I could kiss him. His arms trailed up my back to tangle in my hair, holding me close to him as his lips explored mine.

After a moment, he pulled away, only to place feathery kisses on my forehead, temple, eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin.

"The emotional part wasn't exactly a walk in the park either," he noted. I tore my eyes away from his and shook my head silently, unable to say anything. His hands cradled my face, and he waited until I looked up again before he continued. "I think we need to talk about it."

I nodded slowly. We did. And I wanted to – I _needed_ to. But at the same time, I was afraid. _He doesn't blame you_, I reminded myself. But that thought was deeply rooted and hard to let go of.

"Could you tell me more about what happened that day?" he asked softly.

I knew what he was doing. Basic psychology. Work through a traumatic experience by reliving it. And maybe he needed it, too. We both had to deal with what had happened to be able to move forward.

I climbed out of his lap and sat down next to him on the bed, scooting up so that I could lean against the headboard. He followed my example and pulled the quilt over us. He pulled me close against his side, and I leaned my head against his shoulder before I spoke.

"I stayed in bed late, I didn't get up until eleven or something," I started, trying to push the inevitable off as long as possible. "On the way downstairs, I felt a sort of pinch in my stomach. I figured I was just hungry or something, so I didn't think anything of it. Then it came back a couple of hours later, but I brushed it off as cramps. It's not that unusual."

I paused, fingering the blanket. Edward realized what I was doing and took my hands in his. I took a deep breath and continued.

"I was working all afternoon, in front of the computer. When I got up, I think it was four in the afternoon by then, I felt a different kind of pain, a sort of stabbing. I got scared, even if I still thought that it was nothing, so I called you."

"But my cell was off," he said darkly. I could clearly hear the self-blame in his voice now, and I wondered how I could have missed that before. I had been so convinced that he was blaming me that I hadn't even considered anything else.

"Yeah. I tried to tell myself that I was overreacting, but then the pain came back, so I called Doctor Wallace. She assured me that I was probably right, that it was most likely just harmless cramps. But she said that I could come in to the clinic if I was really worried, and she'd take a look just to make sure. I went to the bathroom before leaving the house, and that's when I saw the blood. I think I already knew, then, that it was too late…"

I took a shaky breath.

"I don't remember driving to the doctor's office. I'm probably lucky I didn't get into an accident or something. And then I got there and she told me what I already knew. It was too late, she couldn't do anything."

I felt Edward wipe away the tears that I hadn't realized were rolling down my face. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes.

"I asked her if I could have done anything, if it had made a difference if I had come in right away when I felt the first cramp, but she said that she wouldn't have been able to do anything even if I had. That sometimes these things just happen."

I hated that expression. Things shouldn't just happen without reason. It wasn't fair. But then again, life wasn't fair. I should have realized that by now.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here," he mumbled against my hair.

I turned so I could wrap my arms around him and buried my face against his chest.

"I know. I know you would have been here if you could." My voice was barely a whisper, but I knew that he heard me.

"That's not much of a comfort," he objected.

"No, it's not," I agreed. "But I think we just have to accept that we can't change the past. We have to do what we can to move forward from where we are right now, and right now, you're here."

"Always," he vowed. "I won't ever leave you, not ever."

"I know." And I did. All the fear and doubt I had felt in the past two weeks was gone. We wouldn't be able to change the past, but we would be able to get through this, we would still have a future together. And that was all that mattered right now. If I could believe that, I could deal with just about anything.

"I love you," he mumbled after a moment. "More than anything, more than my own life."

"Just like I love you."

I don't know how long we sat like that, but eventually, my stomach started to protest loudly.

"Hungry?" Edward wondered in a slightly amused voice.

"Starving," I replied, realizing just how hungry I was.

"There's pizza downstairs," he said. "It's probably stone-cold by now, but we can heat it up."

"Microwave pizza, yum!"

He laughed at that and pulled me with him up from the bed.

"Well, if that doesn't suit the gourmet, I'm sure we can fix up something from what's in the fridge."

"No, pizza's fine."

"If you're sure. I wouldn't want to offend your refined taste buds," he teased.

"Oh, shut up!" How easy it was to get into our normal teasing banter again.

He laughed and pulled me along out into the hallway and down the stairs, not letting go of my hand. I was glad. I hadn't touched him in too long; I wanted to make up for it.

On our way through the living room, he grabbed a pizza box off the coffee table. In the kitchen, he put it down on the counter before grabbing two plates and putting a couple of slices on each. He put the first plate in the microwave and started it.

When the pizza was warm, we brought the plates, glasses and a bottle of soda with us into the living room. I turned the TV on, flipping through the channels until I found an old episode of _Friends_. We ate in silence, but it was a 'normal' kind of silence; comfortable. The kind of silence that exists between two people who don't have to talk to be able to know what the other is thinking, not two people who don't know what to say.

After we had finished the pizza, we continued to watch the show. We had already been curled up close together on the couch, and now Edward shifted next to me and then pulled me along into a vertical position, so I was lying on his chest. I sighed, completely content to stay there forever. He pulled a blanket over us, and his arms pulled me closer under it.

We went to bed early; it was only a little after nine. But we lay awake for a long time, curled up together under the covers. The physical distance between us these past weeks had taken its toll on both of us, and we both felt the need to be close. There was nothing sexual about it, not at all. We didn't need sex to feel close. In fact, being close _without_ sex was more satisfying emotionally, and that was what we needed tonight.

**Edward**

I lay awake for a while after Bella had fallen asleep, relishing in the feeling of having her here, in my arms, again. I had been afraid that I'd never get to hold her like this again.

I thanked whatever lucky star was up there – and my interfering sister – for allowing me a second chance. I promised myself that I would not mess it up.

xxxxx

When I woke up in the morning, Bella was already awake, watching me from under heavy eyelids. When she saw that I was awake, she smiled lazily.

"I've missed waking up next to you," she mumbled sleepily, cuddling in closer.

"Me too," I agreed. "I'm sorry about that."

"How about if we just don't apologize for all the stupid things we've done in the past two weeks?" she suggested. "I mean, we've both done things we regret."

"I think that sounds like a good idea."

I pulled her even closer, and her body molded to mine in a familiar way. God, I'd missed this.

"When do we have to pick up Lily?" she asked after a moment, reminding me of reality.

"Brianna's mom didn't actually say a specific time, but I'm thinking the earlier the better," I said grudgingly. I wanted to stay in bed a little longer, enjoy having her this close.

"You're probably right." She sighed. "A house full of hyper eight-year-olds isn't that much fun on a Saturday morning."

"Does that mean we have to get out of bed?"

She laughed at my question.

"Unfortunately, yes."

She didn't make any effort to actually get up, though. If anything, she moved closer, and after a moment, I felt her lips on my neck.

"Getting out of bed might be a little difficult if you keep that up," I pointed out, and she immediately pulled away, a mischievous smile on her lips.

"I'll try not to tempt you, then," she said, slipping out from under the covers and heading into the bathroom.

For a second, I considered joining her. But I knew that we would never get out of here if I did, so I stayed in the bed until she came back into the room, wrapped in a towel. Then I got out of the bed.

"My turn." I kissed her quickly as I passed her, and then closed the bathroom door behind me.

When I got out of the shower, she had already gone downstairs. I quickly got dressed and followed the smell of coffee down the stairs and into the kitchen.

She was sitting at the table, a bowl of cereal in front of her and a spoon in her hand. I grabbed a bowl of my own from the cupboard and poured some muesli into it. The coffee was done, so I took the pot with me to the table and poured some of the black liquid into the two mugs she had already gotten out of the cupboard.

"Thanks," she said with a smile when I sat down next to her.

I just smiled back and scooped up a spoonful of muesli. I loved seeing her smile again; it had been too long since I had seen it.

"I was thinking maybe we could do something this afternoon," she suggested after a few minutes.

"Sure, what did you have in mind?"

"The Children's Museum? We haven't been there since Lily's birthday last year, and she loved it."

It was true, Lily had loved the museum with its different exhibits specifically designed for kids – especially the Imagination Studio and Go Figure! where you could 'live' inside fairy tales.

"That sounds great."

"We could go to McDonald's for lunch first, there's one right by the museum. Make a whole day of it."

"A family day," I concluded.

"Exactly."

**Bella**

We had a great time at the museum – Lily loved all the exhibits, and Edward and I both felt like kids running around in there and playing with her. It was great.

When we got home, I went into the backyard with Lily while Edward started dinner – Lily's favorite, chicken nuggets. When I sat on the porch swing, watching her jumping on the trampoline, my cell rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hi."_

A smile spread on my face when I heard Alice's voice. Yesterday, she had – once again – come to the rescue. I had stopped counting the favors we owed her for 'interfering' in our lives. One thing was for sue; if it wasn't for Alice putting her nose in where it didn't belong, we wouldn't be here today.

"Hi."

"_Well, you sound a lot better than yesterday,"_ she noted.

"I am. Thank you so much, Alice. You really helped us see what was actually going on. I'm honestly not sure what we'd do without you; you always fix everything when we're being stupid."

"_Nah, you would have worked it out somehow,"_ she brushed off. _"But I'm glad I could help."_

"You really did."

"_Good. I was really just calling to make sure everything was back to normal, or at least as close to normal as it's going to get, and now that I know that it is, I can relax."_

"You do that. Say hi to the others from us, and we'll see you on Friday."

"_See you then, bye."_

I hung up just as I heard Edward's voice from inside the house, letting us know that dinner was ready.

Lily chattered on about the visit to The Children's Museum all through dinner; Mountain Forest, the Neighborhood, the Global Village. She seemed particularly fascinated by the last.

"Can we go to another country some day?" she asked hopefully.

"Where would you like to go if we did?" I wondered.

She thought for a moment.

"Spain!" she announced. "I can say _hola_ and _me llamo Lily_ and _tengo ocho años _in Spanish!"

A couple of years ago, Lily's elementary school had started letting the younger children learn a foreign language – on a very basic level – if they wanted to, and she had loved the Spanish lessons this past year.

"Well, Spain is kind of far away," Edward explained. "But maybe we could go down to Mexico for a vacation some time. They speak Spanish there too."

"Yay!"

xxxxx

"So we're going to Mexico?" I stated when we cleared off the table after dinner. Lily had gone into the living room to play some video games.

"A little family vacation might be nice. And you know she'll love it." Edward shrugged. "Maybe a weekend later in the fall, Columbus Day or something."

"I think that sounds like a great idea."

When Edward took Lily up to bed, I popped a movie in the DVD player and went into the kitchen to make some popcorn. I stood staring at the rotating plate in the microwave, my thoughts miles away.

I was amazed at the difference the last twenty-four hours had had on my state of mind. Talking to Edward – really talking – about what had happened had helped. I remembered hearing something like 'shared grief is half the grief', and it was true. Separately, we hadn't been able to really deal with what had happened, but now that we were able to talk and face the situation together, it felt like some of the burden had been lifted. I knew that the pain wouldn't go away just like that, but it was a little easier to bear now.

We would have another child. It wasn't meant to be this time, but we would try again.

_But what if it doesn't work this time either?_ a little voice inside me wondered, and I winced at the thought.

Could we deal with that kind of pain again?

I wasn't sure.

I hadn't heard Edward come back downstairs, so I jumped a little when I felt his arms around my waist.

"You look like you're about a thousand miles away," he mumbled in my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"What, you don't enjoy watching the miracle of the microwave?" I teased him, just as the beep announced that the popcorn was done.

He turned me around so that he could look me in the eyes.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked, seriously now.

I shrugged. I had to come to a decision on this subject before I talked to him about it. I was pretty certain that he would be a little hesitant, so I had to be sure I knew what I wanted.

"Just stuff," I hedged.

He studied my face intently for a moment.

"OK."

I was glad that he didn't decide to push, because I wasn't sure I would have been able to lie to him.

"I thought we could watch a movie," I said. "That one that we got a couple of weeks ago, that Alice was talking about. What was it called… _The girl with the… something tattoo_."

He pushed me backwards until I was up against the kitchen counter, and then he leaned down to place a kiss just above my collar bone.

"Not in the mood for a movie."

I felt my breathing speed up as he trailed kisses along my neck.

"No?" I managed to get out. "And what did you have in mind?"

He just pulled away a little and smiled at me before covering my lips with his.

xxxxx

We spent Sunday doing absolutely nothing productive; we watched TV with Lily, played on the Wii with her, played Monopoly, watched a movie… needless to say, it was raining all day. Your average Seattle summer weather.

I took Lily up to bed at nine, making sure she brushed her teeth and tucking her in. As I went back downstairs, I pondered how to word what I wanted.

Edward was watching TV when I got into the living room, and I sat down next to him, waiting until there was a commercial break.

"Can we talk about something?" I wondered, turning around on the couch so I could look at him.

"Of course."

"I want to try again."

I could tell from the expression on his face that he didn't know what I meant.

"Try what?"

I didn't elaborate, but gave him a pointed look. After a moment, a frown appeared on his face.

"Oh… are you sure that's a good idea? What if…" He didn't finish the sentence, but a look of pain flashed across his face, and I knew what he was getting at.

I had thought about this, of course. All day, as a matter of fact. And I was scared to death of the possibility of something going wrong again. But at the same time, I wanted this so much. In the end, I had realized that I was willing to risk it.

"There are always risks, we knew that before too," I pointed out. "And I don't think that the fact that it happened once means that it will again. I mean, everything was fine with Lily, so there's nothing _wrong_. It was just one of those things that happen."

"I guess you're right," he admitted, but still looked hesitant. "Can we at least talk to Doctor Wallace about it first?"

"Of course," I willingly agreed. I had planned on doing that, anyway, just to make sure that there wasn't any reason why it wouldn't work this time around. "I'll call her on Monday, see if we can come in during the week."

"Sounds good." He turned his attention back to the television and pulled me closer. "Now, can we enjoy the alone time?"

**Edward**

I tapped my fingers against the wheel in time with the music coming from the radio. I was supposed to pick Bella up from her office in five minutes for our meeting with Doctor Wallace. So, naturally, I'd been sitting in the parking lot outside the building for five minutes already. When it came to time, I was, and probably always would be, the eternal pessimist. Luckily, Bella knew this and usually showed up a little early as well. Today was no exception.

"Hey," she said, sliding into the passenger seat.

"Hey." I leaned over to give her a kiss. When I pulled away, I handed her the sandwich I had brought, since we had to see the doctor on Bella's lunch break.

"Thanks." She took off the foil and ate while I drove.

The drive to the doctor's office only took a few minutes, and we were soon parked in the lot there. When I had gotten out of the car and closed the door behind me, I noticed Bella staring at the building in front of us, biting her lip.

"You OK?" I asked, taking her hand in mine.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." She took a deep breath. "I just… I don't know. Bad memories, I guess."

We were walking towards the entrance now and I glared at the building. Every day, I regretted not being here for her when she needed me. But, right now, I was grateful that I hadn't been with her the last time she had been here. I wasn't sure I would have been able to walk through the doors if I had.

I squeezed her hand in what I hoped was a comforting way as we walked down the hallway towards the nurse's desk. I could hear Bella's increased breathing next to me and could only imagine what it must be like for her to be back here. I wanted to make it go away, take away all the pain. But of course I couldn't do that. All I could do was try to make it easier for her. And hope that we would soon have happier memories of this place to take the edge off the bad ones.

The nurse behind the reception desk was on the phone when we got to the front desk, but she recognized us and waved us through.

Doctor Wallace was sitting behind her desk, the door to her office open. She stood up when she saw us and extended her hand. After we had exchanged greetings, we all sat down.

"You didn't say what it was that you wanted to talk about over the phone," the doctor started. "But I assume it has something to do with the miscarriage?"

I winced as she said the word and felt Bella do the same beside me. Neither of us said that word out loud, using euphemisms instead. That might be some kind of denial, but I didn't care.

"Yeah," Bella replied. "We wanted to discuss the possibility of getting pregnant again. Do you think there's a risk that… what happened will happen again?"

"There's always a risk," the doctor said, repeating Bella's words from a few nights ago. "But I wouldn't say that there is a greater risk than at any other, normal pregnancy."

"Good." Bella let out a sigh of relief.

"I would strongly recommend that you wait, though," Doctor Wallace continued.

"How long?" I wondered.

"Medically speaking, we always recommend waiting at least until after the third menstrual period. So, roughly speaking, about three months."

"Three months!" Bella repeated, sounding exasperated.

"Yes." The doctor nodded. "It's so that your body will have time to recover. Of course, I can't stop you if you do decide that you want to try again before that, but I would say that the risk of another miscarriage will increase if you do."

"It's just three months," I said, taking Bella's hand and squeezing it. "Don't you think it's better to listen to her than to take any unnecessary risks?"

Bella nodded reluctantly.

"Of course."

"Now, I said _medically_, we recommend waiting three months," the doctor continued. "Emotionally…" She shrugged. "Only you know when you've dealt with the loss you've suffered and are ready to move on. Everyone handles the grieving process differently."

I contemplated her words. I knew I wasn't ready for that yet. During the past two weeks, I had been too busy blaming myself to be able to deal with what had happened, and now… we had talked, sure. But it took more than that to get over something like this. Maybe the three months would be necessary from an emotional perspective as well.

I could tell that Bella's thoughts had wandered off in the same direction as mine, because she sat silently next to me.

"Thank you," I said, getting up from the chair and pulling Bella up with me. "Now we know."

"I'm glad to be able to help," Doctor Wallace replied. "And feel free to call me if you have any questions."

"We might take you up on that."

"Please do. Bye."

"Bye."

I put an arm around Bella's shoulders and we left the office. When we got out into the parking lot, I noticed that she wiped a couple of tears from her cheeks.

"You OK?" I wondered.

"Yeah, I just…" She took a deep breath. "I hadn't thought about it like that before, you know. What she said about 'grieving process'. But that's really what it is."

"Yeah," I agreed quietly.

"We lost a child," she continued. "I mean, not in the most obvious way, but still."

"I know."

"I feel like we should do something." She bit her lip. "Not like a funeral or anything, but some sort of… memorial ceremony."

"I think that's a good idea. What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know." She took my hand with a small smile. "Maybe we can think of something together?"

Later that night, after Lily had gone to bed, I got the blue onesie with guitars on it out of the dresser and we lay it out on the table in the living room, lit a candle and sat watching the flame until it went out. In a way, it felt like we were able to say goodbye.

**Bella**

After we'd had our little memorial ceremony, I felt like some sort of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Being able to say goodbye felt nice, and it helped me to let go of what had happened, even if I knew that I would never forget. I didn't want to, either. There would always be a place in my heart reserved for this baby, even if he didn't get the chance to live. The child that never came.

But we had to focus on the living now. On Lily, on each other.

When I got home from work on Thursday, I started packing what I would need for the two week stay in Forks. We were leaving as soon as I got home from work tomorrow.

I rummaged through the closet, dresser, bedside table and the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, putting everything I was going to bring into my suitcase which lay open on the bed. When I grabbed my toilet bag out of the drawer in the bedside table, my eyes fell on an envelope that was lying there.

I realized what it was and picked it up, taking out the gift certificate. We'd have plenty of babysitters in Forks, what better time to use it?

I went into the hallway and listened for a moment, making sure Edward was busy in the kitchen. Then I closed the bedroom door behind me and called Alice.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, Alice, it's me."

"_Me who?"_

"Funny," I said dryly. "Listen, could you be on Lily-duty next weekend?"

"_Why?"_ she wondered. _"I mean, not that I mind."_

"I got a gift certificate for this hotel and spa place in Ocean Shores from Michelle, and I thought we could go there next weekend," I explained. "Get away from everything for a couple of days."

"_That sounds like a good idea. You deserve some time away, just the two of you."_

"I just hope they're not booked."

"_You won't know until you call,"_ she pointed out.

"True," I agreed. "I'm going to call them. But do me a favor and don't say anything to Edward, I want to surprise him."

"_My lips are sealed."_

"Great. Thanks."

"_See you tomorrow."_

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and immediately dialed the numbed on the gift certificate.

"_Quinault Beach Resort and Casino, how may I help you?"_ a pleasant, male voice answered.

"Hi, I'd like to know if I could make a reservation for next weekend."

"_Let me just check here."_ I heard him typing something on a keyboard. _"You're in luck, we just got a cancellation. How many nights?"_

"I have a gift certificate for a _Romance package_," I read out loud.

"_Alright then. And will you be arriving on Friday?"_

"Yeah."

"_And what name can I put the reservation in?"_

"Cullen."

"_OK then. Check-in is after two in the afternoon, and you're welcome on the third!"_

"Thank you."

I hung up the phone just as Edward's voice came from downstairs.

"Dinner's ready!"

"I'll be right there!" I called back, hurrying to pack the last of my things before closing the suitcase. I'd have to pack the toiletries after getting ready tomorrow morning.

"All packed?" Edward wondered when I sat down at the kitchen table.

"Pretty much."

"Can we go camping again when we're in Forks?" Lily asked excitedly.

"We'll see, princess," Edward told her, a frown on his face.

I made a mental note to call Alice from the office tomorrow and suggest that Jasper and Emmett take Lily camping next weekend. I knew that they would jump at the opportunity. Maybe Carlisle and Charlie could go with them too. Lily would love that. And hopefully the weather would have improved by then. It had been raining nonstop for almost a week now.

"Do you think you'll be able to leave early tomorrow?" Edward wondered later when we were watching TV. Lily had voluntarily gone up to bed five minutes ago.

"If I know Michelle, she'll kick me out as soon as she can," I replied. "I'm actually surprised that she didn't tell me to take tomorrow off as well."

"So, what are we talking? Around lunch?"

"Hopefully. I don't have that much I need to do, just brief Darren on the campaign he'll take over while I'm gone."

"I'll make sure we're ready to go as early as possible, then."

"Sounds good. Make sure you bring the camping things, and Lily's fishing stuff," I instructed. "Maybe you could go to the park for a night while where up there."

"Only if you come with us," he retorted.

"Fine, but the weather has to be nice!" I stipulated, knowing full well that it wouldn't be a problem since Lily would be going with her uncles while we were at the hotel next weekend. "And I want an air mattress!"

He chuckled.

"Well, I can't do much about the weather, but I think we might be able to arrange an air mattress."

**AN: The movie I'm referring to in this chapter is **_**The girl with the dragon tattoo**_**, a Swedish movie that is really good – have to promote the Swedish movie industry! When I wrote that part, I didn't know that Kristen Stewart was considered for the female lead in the Hollywood version of the movie, so that was actually a coincidence! There is also a reference to a beautiful song called **_**Elegi**_** by a Swedish singer/songwriter called Lars Winnerbäck (any Swedes out there?).**


	10. 10 News

**AN: Next chapter for you guys, hope you like it. Let me know!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own them. I just wish I did…**

**10 – News **

**Bella**

For the third time, I checked that I had moved all the files that Darren would need while I was gone to the flash drive, and then checked my e-mail to see if there was anything new from 'above'.

There was a knock on the door, and I looked up.

"Hey there," Michelle said, stepping into the room. "Wrapping things up?"

"Yeah, just checking that I'm not accidentally making Darren's job harder than it has to be," I replied with a smile.

"Do that and then take off, OK? Get an early start."

It was a little before noon.

"Thanks, I'll do that. Maybe we can stop by McDonald's or something on the way, Lily would like that."

"Sounds like a plan. Have a great vacation, and don't even think about calling!" Michelle smiled at me before turning to leave the room.

I waited until she had disappeared down the hallway before I called Edward.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, I'm about to head out here. Are you guys ready to leave?"

"_Yeah, I'll just put the last stuff in the car and we'll be ready to go. But we haven't had lunch yet."_

"Me neither. I thought we could stop somewhere on the way," I suggested.

"_Great. See you in a bit. Love you."_

"Love you."

I hung up and turned off the computer. I checked the desk to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. Then I grabbed my purse and the flash drive and left the room. On my way out of the building, I stopped by Darren's office. I knocked on the open door before taking a step into the room.

"Hey, I saved all the files you'll need for the campaign on this," I said, handing him the flash drive.

"Great, thanks," he replied, taking it from me. "Anything else I need to know?"

I thought for a moment. We had already discussed the account earlier today, and I couldn't think of anything important that we hadn't covered.

"I don't think so, everything you need is in those files. But call me if you have any questions."

"No way, you're on vacation!" he objected.

"OK, fine. But you can e-mail me. I'll check it at least once a day."

"That I can agree to. Now go, get out of here." He shooed me away. "You're free!"

I laughed at his choice of words and did as he said.

It was still raining when I got out of the building, but it was a little warmer than it had been in the past couple of days. Or at least I thought so. Maybe hoping for a somewhat sunny vacation wasn't completely in vain after all.

I drove home with Ryan Star in the stereo, the volume turned up.

When I got to the house, Edward and Lily were hiding out in the garage, away from the pouring rain, sitting on the hood of the Camaro. I pulled in next to it with the BMW and got out of the car.

"Ready to go?" Edward wondered. "Or do you need to go inside?"

"Did you check the windows and doors?" He nodded. "The stove, coffee machine, oven, lamps?" Another nod. "Then no, I don't."

"Let's get this show on the road, then." He got up from the hood of the car and Lily jumped down as well.

"Can we go to IHOP for lunch?" she asked. "I want pancakes!"

"You can't have pancakes for lunch," Edward objected. "Pancakes are breakfast food."

"But I want pancakes!" she insisted.

"They have normal food at IHOP, too, and maybe we can order some pancakes for dessert?" I suggested. I was not interested in spending the entire drive up to Forks listening to an argument about pancakes. Lily and Edward had a wonderful relationship, but they were both stubborn, and when they got into a discussion… Luckily, Lily was easy to please.

"OK."

"Nobody's getting any pancakes if we don't get in the car," Edward pointed out, and we all turned our attention to the rain, which was now really pouring down outside.

"Only one way to get there." I pulled up the hood on my jacket and made a dash for it. Edward and Lily followed my lead, and soon we were all in the car, laughing and shaking the water off.

"Great start on your vacation, don't you think?" Edward teased.

"I always scare the sun away," I complained.

Last year, it had been sunny for weeks, and just when my vacation started, the rain decided to cut in. I got a total of two sunny days in three weeks. I was beginning to fear a repeat, even if I desperately hoped I was wrong.

"Well, at least it's not your fault this year," Edward consoled me, pulling out of the driveway. "It's been raining for days already."

"Why thank you for not blaming me for the forces of nature!" I said dryly, and he laughed.

We stopped at the IHOP close to the airport for lunch. When Lily saw the dessert menu, she suddenly didn't want pancakes anymore and ordered an Ice Cream Sunday instead. Deciding to celebrate my vacation, I ordered a banana and caramel cheesecake, which was heavenly. Invigorated by the food, we continued on our way to Forks.

Lily had gotten a portable DVD player to use in the car for her last birthday, and when we pulled onto the highway, I heard her put on _Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs_ in the backseat.

"I talked to Esme this morning, and she said that she'll have dinner ready at six," Edward said after a while. "I thought we could stop by Charlie's on our way, since we got an early start."

We should be in Forks by five at the latest, so that sounded like a good idea.

"Sure," I agreed.

"Can I play with Madison?" Lily wondered from the backseat.

"If they're home, sure," Edward told her. Happy with the answer, she turned her attention back to the movie.

"Are Em and Rose going back to Seattle on Sunday?" I asked.

"Rosalie has to work on Monday, but Emmett and Noah are staying for another week," Edward replied. "Rose said that she could use a little 'me-time' after spending three and a half weeks nonstop with them."

"She must have gotten an overdose of testosterone," I concluded with a smile. "Don't you ever get overwhelmed by the estrogen at home?"

"Never." He reached over and took my hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing my palm. "I love my girls."

His words brought a smile to my lips, and I wondered – not for the first time – what I had done to deserve him.

xxxxx

We pulled up outside Charlie's place at four thirty. It had – believe it or not – actually stopped raining on the way, and Charlie was in the front yard, doing something to a fishing rod that was leaning against the porch rail.

Lily was out of the car before it had come to a complete stop.

"Hi grandpa!" she called, waving in Charlie's general direction before taking off through the hole in the fence that separated the garden from that of the next house, where Madison lived.

Charlie looked after her for a moment, shaking his head.

"Good to know you're a priority," he muttered, crossing the lawn to greet us. "Hey kids, drive OK?"

"It was fine," I replied, giving him a hug which he quickly shrugged out of. Charlie would never be comfortable with displays of affection.

"You're finally free for a few weeks, huh?" he noted, going back to the project he was working on.

"Yeah, finally! Not that I don't love my job, but every now and then, you need a breather."

"Very true." Charlie nodded, despite the fact that he hadn't had more than a few days at a time off from work for as long as I could remember. As long as he could get some fishing done on the weekends, he was happy.

"Need a hand with that?" Edward wondered, nodding at whatever it was that Charlie was doing to the fishing rod.

"Sure, thanks."

I glanced over at the neighboring yard. Lily hadn't come back, so I assumed that Madison was home.

"I'll go over and say hi to Linda," I said. "I'd help you out with that, but…"

"I was hoping to use it again," Charlie cut me off. I glared at him.

I knocked on the door to Madison's house, and her mother, Linda, opened after a moment.

"Hey, I thought that was Lily I heard a moment ago," she greeted me, stepping aside to let me into the house. "Did you just get here?"

"Yeah, we're stopping by Charlie's for a while before going up to the house," I replied, following her into the kitchen. "And, of course, Lily insisted on playing with Madison."

At that moment, Lily and Madison came into the kitchen.

"Guess what, mom?" Lily exclaimed, continuing before I had a chance to. "Maddy's got this new game, and it's really, really cool, and I really, really want to play it, can I? Please!"

"Just for little while, we have to leave for dinner in an hour," I told her.

"Can't I have dinner here?" she pleaded.

"You can't just invite yourself to dinner, Lily," I chastised lightly. "Where are your manners?"

"Sorry," she apologized, a little grumpily.

"It's really fine, she can have dinner with us," Linda cut in. "I mean, if that's OK with you of course. We'll drive her to the Cullens' later."

"I guess," I agreed. "But you don't have to drive her, we'll come pick her up."

"I can stay?" Lily beamed.

"Yes, you can stay," I replied. "But no arguing when we pick you up later!"

"Thanks mom!" She gave me a quick hug before running off behind Madison up the stairs.

"Sorry about that," I apologized when they had disappeared. "She's turned into some sort of game junkie lately."

"Don't worry about it," Linda brushed off. "Maddy's the exact same way."

"Good to know."

There was a beep from the kitchen.

"Sorry, I've started dinner," Linda explained.

"Go, don't let me keep you. We'll pick Lily up around eight, is that OK?"

"That'll be great."

"And just send her over to Charlie's if she gets on your nerves before we show up," I half-joked.

"She could never get on our nerves," Linda disregarded.

She obviously didn't have any experience with Lily when she got in one of her 'moods'.

"OK, I'm going to leave you to your culinary duties. See you later."

"Bye."

I went back outside and crossed the lawn. Charlie and Edward were still busy with the fishing rod, so I decided to go inside and say hi to Sue. I found her in the kitchen.

"Aren't you industrious?" I noted when I realized she was baking. Bread.

"Hey there, sweetheart." She gave me a hug. "There was always homemade bread around when I was growing up, I guess I was feeling a little nostalgic."

"I don't think I've actually ever had homemade bread," I admitted, inhaling the appetizing aroma. "Probably for the best; I'm not sure our house would have survived my mom baking."

Sue laughed at that.

"It's really not that difficult," she said. "I can show you some day, if you want?"

"I'll take you up on that. I've got two weeks to kill here, after all. If I don't have anything to do, I might get cabin fever and go all crazy axe murderer. Especially if this rain doesn't let up."

"Well, we wouldn't want that."

I watched as Sue scrambled around the kitchen, realizing that baking actually looked fun. Charlie and Edward came into the kitchen after a while.

"We should get going," Edward said, and I was surprised to see that it was already a little after half past five.

"Lily's having dinner at Madison's," I told him. "She has some amazing new game, and one hour just wasn't enough time."

"Why am I not surprised?" He shook his head. "I guess we'll pick her up later, then."

"Billy and I are going night fishing later, we can drop her off on the way," Charlie offered. "No need for you to drive all the way into town again."

"Are you sure?" I wondered. He just waved off my half-hearted objection with one hand.

"Go, you'll be late for dinner."

"Thanks, dad." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and watched the color rise on his cheeks.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, shuffling into the living room. Sue and I laughed.

"We really do need to go, though," Edward pointed out after a moment.

"Right, let's go." I pulled him along towards the front door. "Bye Sue, dad!"

Just when we pulled up outside the big, white house, Emmett came out onto the porch.

"Could you smell dinner all the way from Seattle?" he asked jokingly when we had gotten out of the car. "Some timing you've got."

I went to open the trunk and get our bags, but Edward grabbed my arm.

"Let's go eat first, we can get everything later," he said, and I followed him up the stairs to the porch.

"Hey, isn't there usually someone else with you?" Emmett wondered with an exaggerated look of surprise on his face. "About yea high." He gestured in the air, about waist high.

"Funny," Edward noted dryly.

"She's at Madison's," I explained.

"Right, friends are more fun than boring old relatives," Emmett concluded.

"Pretty much." I smiled.

Esme was alone in the kitchen, and she looked up when we entered the house.

"There you are!" she exclaimed with a smile on her face. "I was just taking the meatloaf out of the oven, perfect timing."

"Great!" Edward gave his mom a kiss on the cheek.

"Where's Lily?" she asked when I gave her a hug.

"We stopped by Charlie's on the way, so she's at Madison's," I told her.

"Of course," Esme replied with a smile. "Emmett, why don't you go get the others?"

"Sure mom." He walked over to the bottom of the stairs. "Dinner!" he called at the top of his lungs.

"Not exactly what I had in mind," Esme chastised him lightly. "I could have done that myself."

"It worked, didn't it?" Emmett only pointed out as Alice and Jasper came down the stairs, closely followed by Rosalie with Noah and then Carlisle.

"Hi!" Alice exclaimed when she spotted us. "I didn't hear you get in!"

"We just got here," I said while she bounced over to me and gave me a hug.

"All set for next weekend," she whispered before pulling back, and I gave her a grateful smile.

"Alright, let's eat before the food gets cold," Esme said, pulling our attention back to dinner.

We all sat down at the table while continuing to exchange greetings.

Esme was a wonderful cook, and dinner was amazing as always.

"I'll have to be careful, or I'll gain ten pounds while we're here," I half-complained when Edward and I were unpacking in our room a little later.

"You'd still look amazing," he told me with a smile. "You could gain a hundred pounds and still be beautiful."

"You say that now…"

"Want to test me?" he wondered. Jokingly, I hoped.

"I think I'll pass on that," I replied, and he laughed.

"Whatever you want." He closed his empty suitcase and put it in the closet. "I'll just go unpack Lily's things."

"She can do that herself when she gets back," I pointed out. He gave me an almost pleading look. "She's eight, not two."

"Fine," he grudgingly agreed.

I smiled at his disappointed look when I followed him out of the room and down the stairs. He loved spoiling her. Lately, I'd had to remind him with some frequency that she wasn't a little kid anymore. She would be starting fourth grade in the fall, after all. Of course, Lily did nothing to help. She was well aware of the fact that she had him wrapped around her little finger and happily took advantage of that.

Everyone was gathered in the living room when we came back downstairs and we joined them on the couches. The TV was turned to a channel showing a comedy of some sorts.

When there was a commercial, Rosalie turned around in her armchair so that she was facing the rest of us.

"Now that everyone's here, we have something to tell you," she said with a smile, and Emmett leaned closer to her and took her hand.

I realized what she was going to say before she even said it, and suddenly it seemed like everything was very far away, like I was seeing the room through a long tunnel. My ears started ringing.

"We're having another baby!" Rose exclaimed. I felt Edward's hand on mine, but couldn't look up at him.

I was the first to react to the news.

"That's great, guys, I'm really happy for you," I mumbled through a forced smile. "Would you excuse me, I have to…"

I didn't finish the sentence, couldn't come up with anything that would get me out of the room, but got up and hurried up the stairs before the tears gave me away.

I made it to our room before I felt the first drop on my cheek. I closed the door behind me, resisting the urge to slam it shut.

I was happy for them. Really, I was. I knew that Rosalie had been trying to convince Emmett to go for number two for a while now. This really shouldn't have caught me off guard, shouldn't be that much of a surprise.

But why _now_? Was it some sort of sick, cosmic joke? No, you can't have what you want, but you're going to have to watch someone else get it, just when you're the most vulnerable?

I took an unsteady breath and sat down on the bed.

_It's not fair_, a little voice inside me said, and I instantly felt guilty. They deserved this; they wanted it as much as we did. And still… the thought was there.

"It's not fair," I mumbled out loud. _It should have been the other way around_, the little voice continued, and I shied away from that idea. I would never wish that on anyone, let alone two of my closest friends.

Before I could beat myself up for even thinking something like that, the door opened and Edward was next to me on the bed, his arms tight around me. I leaned into his embrace and let the tears fall freely.

**Alice**

_And the worst timing of the year award goes to…_

I watched as Bella left the room, and cursed inwardly. I was about go after her when Edward got up.

"I'll go make sure she's OK," he said quietly, his eyes on the floor, and I realized that he was also looking for a way out of the room. He turned to me briefly. "Alice, would you…"

"Yeah, go, I've got it," I quickly reassured him, understanding what it was that he wanted me to do without him finishing the sentence. Sometimes the twin thing came in handy. He nodded and quickly climbed the stairs to the upper floors.

I felt a little bad for Rosalie when I saw the confused look on her face. She hadn't known. It wasn't her fault that this happened now.

"What did I do?" she asked no-one in particular.

"It's not your fault, Rose," I assured her. "Your timing is just a little… well, horrible, to be honest."

"What's going on, Ali?" Emmett wanted to know. "You obviously know something the rest of us don't."

"Yeah, I do." I sighed before continuing. "They lost a baby a few weeks ago. It must have been hard to hear…"

"That's horrible!" mom interrupted me. "Why haven't they said anything?"

"I don't know, but I don't think either of them has gotten to where they can actually talk about it yet," I assumed.

"And I made it worse!" Rosalie exclaimed, tears in her eyes. "I was just so happy, and I wanted to tell everyone, and now…"

"It's not your fault, babe," Emmett tried to sooth her. "We had no idea."

"But if I hadn't been so set on telling everyone at once, this wouldn't have happened!" Rosalie insisted. "Maybe we would have told Alice first and she could have told us what had happened, and then…" She trailed off.

"Then what?" I wondered. "You would have tried to hide it from them? Not sure that would have worked."

"I don't know," Rosalie admitted. "But it would have been better than rubbing it in like this."

"I'm sure they know that that wasn't your intention," dad interjected.

"This was supposed to be a good thing, happy news." Rosalie angrily wiped a few tears away.

"Oh, honey, it is," mom told her. She got up from the couch and sat down on the armrest of Rosalie's armchair, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It's great news, and we're all excited for you."

"I'm going to go talk to Bella," Rosalie decided, making a move to get up from the armchair. Mom gently pushed her back down.

"Maybe now isn't the best time," she suggested softly. "Give them some time to get used to the situation."

"You're right, of course. I shouldn't intrude. They'll come down when they're ready." Rosalie sank back down in the armchair. "I just feel so awful."

"Don't," Emmett said, squeezing her hand. "It's not your fault."

"I know." Rose nodded. "It just breaks my heart. I have no idea what it must be like, but I hate that they had to go through something like that. It's just not fair!"

"No, it's not," mom agreed. "But sometimes these things happen."

I remembered that Bella had said the same thing. It didn't seem like a good enough reason, though.

In the end, life just wasn't fair all the time.

The room became quiet for a few minutes, and then mom spoke again.

"Now, I want to know everything!" she told Rosalie. "When did you find out?"

"In the beginning of June, actually," Rose revealed. "We didn't want to say anything that early, but when we went down to Seattle last week, we had the three-month check-up, and everything's going great!"

She pulled out an ultrasound picture from her purse and held it up. Everyone gathered around her armchair to get a good look.

"Oh, this is so exciting!" mom cried out. "When's your due date?"

"Around January twentieth," Rosalie replied.

"Do you think it's a boy or girl?" I wondered.

"Girl," Rose said quickly.

"You _hope_ it's a girl," Emmett corrected. "Though, come to think of it, so do I."

"You don't want another boy?" Jasper asked.

"No, I do. I just don't want the poor kid to be bullied because he's got pink clothes and pig-tails," Emmett explained. "Which I know will happen if Rose doesn't get a girl to dress up."

"I would never dress our son in girls' clothes!" Rosalie objected, slapping Emmett on the arm. "But I would like a little girl. We could go shopping together, go to the hairdressers, get our nails done. Besides, I knew Noah was a boy the minute the plus sign appeared, I'm right this time too."

"Mother's intuition," mom offered, and Rosalie nodded.

"Exactly."

"I'm going to go upstairs and get some paperwork done," dad said. "Didn't you say that you wanted to look at something before that meeting next week, Esme?"

Mom looked up at him when he said that, and I thought I saw them exchange some sort of look. I wondered what that was about.

"That's right, I did," mom agreed, getting up. "Might as well get it over with, it'll slip my mind if I don't do it right away."

I watched them as they climbed the stairs and disappeared. The others went back to talking about baby-stuff. Apparently I was the only one who had noticed something strange.

It was probably nothing. I shrugged it off and joined the conversation.

**Edward**

"Now that everyone's here, we have something to tell you."

I felt Bella stiffen up next to me as Rosalie spoke, but had no idea why.

"We're having another baby!"

Rosalie's words felt very much like a knife being twisted in an already open wound, and I squeezed Bella's hand, seeking support as well as providing it. I looked down at her, but she didn't meet my eyes.

"That's great, guys, I'm really happy for you," she said quietly, standing up and pulling her hand out of my grasp. "Would you excuse me, I have to…"

She was at the stairs in an instant and quickly disappeared up them. I looked after her for a long moment before I could react. When I regained the control over my body, I stood up.

"I'll go make sure she's OK." I kept my eyes on the floor as I spoke, and then looked up at Alice. "Alice, would you…"

I couldn't finish the sentence, but she understood.

"Yeah, go, I've got it."

I ignored the confused looks on everyone's faces and climbed the stairs, taking them two at a time.

They say that it never rains, but it pours. I had never understood that saying as well as I did now.

It wasn't fair. Was this really necessary? Hadn't we had enough to deal with in the past month? No, of course not.

I finally got up to the third floor and quietly opened the door to our bedroom. Bella was sitting on the bed, tears in her eyes. I quickly crossed the room and pulled her into my arms. I felt her lean her head against my chest, and then her tears soaking my shirt. I didn't realize that I was crying too until I felt the salty taste of the tears.

We sat like that for a while, finding comfort in each other. She was the one to pull away.

"This sucks," she said, voice unsteady, wiping the last tears away.

"I know," I agreed.

"It's like the universe is trying to rub it in, or something," she muttered.

"Yeah."

"And then I feel guilty for thinking like that, because they so deserve this!"

I understood what she meant.

"So do we," I said.

She nodded, biting her lip.

"I am happy for them," she stated. "I am."

I wasn't sure who she was trying to convince; me or herself. I was trying to tell myself the same thing. I was happy for them. But… why now?

"It's just why did it have to be right now?" she continued, voicing my thoughts.

"I don't know." I didn't have any explanation to offer her.

She was silent for a moment.

"I'm a horrible person!" she then exclaimed, completely out of the blue.

"What?" I questioned, not sure how she had gotten to that. "Of course you're not. Why would you think that?"

"Because I thought…" she cut herself off. "I didn't mean it, but I thought it, just for a split second but still… I thought that it should have been the other way around." Her voice was barely audible at the end, and she kept her eyes firmly on the coverlet.

"Oh, honey." I pressed my face against her hair, inhaling her scent. "That's not something to be ashamed of, it's only natural."

She pulled away so that she could look up at me.

"Natural? Did _you_ think that?"

"I do now," I told her honestly.

She had planted the idea in my head, and I couldn't let it go. What if things had been different? What if we had been the ones sitting down there, telling our family the good news…

No. I forced the thought away. I never wanted my brother to have to experience that kind of pain. And still… if it meant that…

NO!

"We're selfish," Bella concluded, seeing the mixed emotions in my eyes.

"We're human," I corrected.

"I feel selfish."

"Don't. They're just thoughts."

She nodded, closed her eyes and leaned her head against my shoulder.

"We should go back down there," she mumbled after a moment. "We're ruining their moment."

"They understand."

"Did you tell them…"

"No." I shook my head. "Alice will."

"Good. I don't want them to think that I'm insane or something."

"Well, they already know that you're insane, so not much hope of that," I tried to joke, and she actually smiled.

"I don't know what I would do without you. Those two weeks were…" She shook her head against the memories. "Hell. Plain and simple. And I know that that's what it would be like, if we…"

"Don't," I interrupted her. "Don't think like that. We're forever."

"Forever," she echoed.

"We'll get through this," I promised. "And in a couple of months…"

She nodded at my unfinished sentence, smiling again.

"We'll get there, too," she said.

"We will."

We would.

**Bella**

I still felt guilty for what I had been thinking, but knowing that it wasn't just me helped a little. I wasn't some horrible, selfish person. This was just an impossible situation.

We were in this together. We would get through it together.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come on in," Edward called to whoever was in the hallway.

The door opened to reveal Esme.

"I'm sorry, do you want to be alone?" she asked tentatively, lingering on the threshold.

"No, that's OK," I said. "I'm sorry about the way I reacted."

"You have nothing to apologize for," she told me sternly, stepping into the room. "I know how hard this must be for you."

I nodded, a lump forming in my throat again. Shouldn't you run out of tears at some point?

"I was actually wondering if I could talk to you?" Esme continued. "Alone?"

Edward looked down at me, a questioning expression on his face. I nodded to let him know it was fine.

"I'll just go… downstairs, I guess," he said reluctantly, getting up from the bed.

"Your father's in his study," Esme told him. "If you need to talk."

He looked relieved at that option.

"I'll see you in a little while." He kissed my forehead before leaving the room.

"They say that talking helps," Esme noted when the door closed. She sat down next to me on the bed.

I remembered the card that Doctor Wallace had given me that day. It had no doubt been destroyed in the wash; I hadn't taken it out of my back pocket.

"My doctor suggested talking to someone," I said. "I guess she meant a professional or something."

"Maybe that's a good idea?" Esme suggested. "But I know that I found talking to someone who has been through the same thing the most helpful."

I looked up at her, realizing what she was saying.

"You mean…"

She nodded.

"It was a long time ago," she said quietly. "But it's not something you forget."

"You didn't try again?" I asked.

"We were going to," she replied. "But this happened a few months before the car accident, and then we had the kids… don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the way my life turned out, and I love my kids. But every now and then, I can't help but wonder… what he or she would have looked like. Blonde like Carlisle or darker like me? Blue eyes or brown? Just the little things, you know."

I nodded.

"I know."

We sat in silence for a while.

"Who did you talk to?" I wondered after a moment.

"There are support groups," she explained. "I'm sure your doctor can help you get in touch with one in Seattle, if you want."

"Maybe." I was a little hesitant about talking to a complete stranger.

"Some couples get through just talking to each other, but sometimes that's not enough. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm here, if you need to talk." She took my hand and squeezed it. "I know that you might not be ready for that yet, but when you are."

"Thank you." I hugged her tightly.

"Anytime, darling, you know that." She hugged me back for a moment, then pulled away. "Do you want to come back downstairs with me, or do you need some more alone time?"

"I think I'll stay up here a little longer," I said. I could tell that the tears were still close to the surface; if I went back downstairs, they might break through again.

"OK." Esme tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before getting up off the bed.

"Would you tell Rose that I'm sorry?" I asked.

"I will tell her no such thing, because you have absolutely nothing to apologize for."

"I feel like I do. I ruined her big moment."

She shook her head.

"You can talk to her yourself when you feel like you're up to it," she said. "But she's not mad at you, not in any way. If anything, she's worried that she's made everything worse for you."

She had. But it wasn't her fault.

**Edward**

I closed the door behind me and slowly walked down the stairs to the second floor. The door to Carlisle's office was ajar, but I still knocked. He looked up and gestured for me to come in.

"I thought you might want to talk," he said when I had sat down in one of the armchairs that were standing in a corner. He claimed the other one, sitting opposite me.

"I guess I'm not that eager to go back downstairs, see all the pitying looks." I shrugged.

"They just care about you."

"I know."

"But I see what you mean," he continued. "Those looks are even worse because you know that, even though they feel sorry for what happened, they have no idea what you're going through."

"Exactly." I nodded.

"But I know."

I looked up at him and frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I know what you're feeling, because I've felt it too," he said. "The pain, anger, frustration, helplessness… that most of all, perhaps. Because you couldn't do anything."

"I wasn't even there," I mumbled.

"You wouldn't have been able to do anything, trust me." He shook his head. "I _was_ there, and it didn't make a difference."

"When did…" I started.

"A long time ago," he cut me off, perhaps sensing my reluctance to talk about it. "Before you came to live with us."

"You never said anything."

"It's not exactly something you tell children," he replied with a sad smile. "And when you were old enough to understand, there didn't seem to be a point in bringing it up. But now… if it can help you in any way, I'm here."

Like he always had been. Even when I didn't deserve it.

"It's true, about the helplessness," I said after a moment. "That's worse of all."

"Because even if it happened to you too, you're still on the outside," Carlisle said, expressing exactly what I was feeling. I nodded. "But it's the emotional part that you need to share to be able to move on. Have you talked about it?"

"Not at first. The first two weeks were hell, we were like strangers." I remembered that time with a shudder. "She thought I blamed her, and I thought she was mad at me because I wasn't there, so we got stuck in this vicious circle."

"But you got out of that," he pointed out.

"Thanks to Alice," I replied. "But, yeah, we did. And we talked, which really helped. Even if we're nowhere near over any of this, we have each other, and we'll be able to work through it."

"I have no doubt about that."

Though I was sure of it myself, it was still a comfort to hear him say the same words. To hear that someone else had faith in us.

**AN: I know, more sad stuff. Sorry! But I didn't want to just move on, like everything was fine all of a sudden. And I felt like the talks with Esme and Carlisle were necessary. **


	11. 11 Breakfast in Bed

**AN: OK, I think the worst part is over now. Some happier times ahead, even if I'm not – like I said in the AN in the last chapter – going to have them say 'oh, well, it happened, let's move on'. **

**Disclaimer: The characters contained within do not belong to me… except for Lily, came up with her all on my own! **

**11 – Breakfast in Bed**

**Bella**

I stayed in our room after Esme had left, hugging my knees to my chest and staring out the glass wall. When I heard the door open, I turned around to see Edward reentering the room.

"Hey," he said, sitting down next to me on the bed.

"Hey." I reached out and took his hand.

"I was going to go outside for a while, get some fresh air and clear my head." He intertwined our fingers. "Do you want to come with me?"

"I think I'll just stay in here a little longer, and then I'm going to talk to Rosalie," I replied.

"You don't have to do that," he objected. "I'm sure she understands, you don't have to explain anything to her."

"I know, I know," I assured him. "But Esme said that she's feeling bad, and I think it's best to just talk about it, so that things don't get weird."

Rosalie was one of my closest friends; I didn't want something like this to get between us.

"OK." He smiled at me and got up from the bed. "If you change your mind, I'll be by the river."

I knew the spot he was talking about, and smiled at the memories of that first weekend.

When he had left the room, I stayed curled up on the bed a little longer. When I finally felt like I was ready to face the world, I went back downstairs.

Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were sitting on the couch, watching TV. They looked up when they heard me come downstairs, and Rosalie stood up.

"I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, enveloping me in a hug that I returned.

"Don't be silly, it's not your fault," I mumbled. "And I'm sorry too."

"You don't have to apologize!" she objected.

"Neither do you," I countered.

"Then let's stop," she suggested.

"OK," I agreed.

We stayed like that, hugging in the middle of the floor, for a few minutes, then she pulled me along to the couch.

"And I promise, I won't bug you with any… stuff," she said.

"You can say the word, Rose, it's fine," I assured her. "And I want to know everything." I did. It might be a little painful, but I wanted her to know that she didn't need to walk on eggshells around me. "I just wasn't prepared earlier, that's why I reacted the way I did, I'm sorry."

"Will you stop that!" Alice complained.

"Yes, stop apologizing," Rosalie agreed.

"OK, OK, forget I said anything," I surrendered.

"But seriously," Rosalie said. "You don't have to pretend to be fine with this, I get it if you don't want to get involved with everything."

"I really am fine, and I do want to be involved," I insisted, realizing that it was actually true. "That's my niece or nephew in there, too!"

"Are you sure?" Rosalie didn't seem completely convinced.

"Positive!"

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Rose exclaimed, hugging me again. "I don't want to do this without my best friends!"

"You don't have to."

**Edward**

I walked down the stairs slowly, trying to figure out a way to make it out of the house without anyone noticing me.

There wasn't.

I tried to keep my eyes straight ahead, on the front door, when I got down to the first floor. It worked until Alice called my name when I was halfway across the room. I reluctantly looked up at her.

"Is Bella OK?" she asked, a concerned expression on her face.

"More or less," I said and Alice nodded, understanding. "She said that she'll be down soon. I'm just going outside for a while." I quickly continued out the front door and down the porch steps.

The sky was still overcast, but the temperature was pleasant. The forecast had promised some sun this weekend. I crossed the lawn in front of the house and was soon on the path in the woods, the silence complete but for the natural sounds of the forest and its inhabitants.

I continued without consciously thinking about where I was going, my feet knowing the way on their own. After ten minutes, I came out of the trees into the clearing by the river.

I sat down on the flat rock and stared across the river at the dense forest on the other side. The sound of the water was comforting, soothing. I let my mind go blank, focusing on the sounds around me. The water, birds singing some distance away, what sounded like a squirrel climbing a tree, footsteps on the path… I looked up just as Emmett came out of the forest and sighed. I should have known that he'd come after me.

"Hey bro," he said, sitting down next to me on the rock. "You didn't really think you'd get away with the hermit thing, did you?"

"I actually did. Don't know what I was thinking," I replied dryly, hoping he'd take the hint. I was not in the mood to talk to him right now.

"Not the way this family works." He shook his head. "We won't let you go off on your own and mope when you're all grumpy. You should know that by now."

I really should.

"I'm not 'grumpy'," I snapped, not liking the word. "I just wanted some time alone to be able to clear my head a little."

"Well, you should have just said that!"

I sighed again. Like that would have made a difference.

"Was there some particular reason you came after me?" I asked, changing the subject. "Other than to keep me from 'moping'?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were OK." He shrugged.

I felt a little guilty for snapping at him. He was just worried, because, like Carlisle had said, he cared about me, about us. They all did.

"Honestly?" I picked up a stone that was lying on the ground by my feet and threw it into the river, waiting until I heard the silent splash it made when it hit the surface before I continued. "I could be better."

"Well, that sort of goes without saying," Emmett pointed out. "I guess what I really meant was that I wanted to make sure you're not going to pull that 'close yourself off from the rest of the world' thing."

Ah. That.

"I wasn't planning on that, no," I tried to joke.

I really wasn't. Not only because I had Bella and Lily to think about now, but because I knew what it had done to my family last time. Especially Esme.

Emmett seemed to settle for that.

"Good to know."

We sat in silence, staring at the flow of the river beneath us. I knew that he was offering more than his company; he was giving me the opportunity to talk without actually saying anything. And I appreciated it, I really did. I just wasn't in the mood to talk.

After a while, maybe fifteen minutes, maybe more, the sound of a car came from downriver. The bridge crossed just around the next bend, invisible from where we sat. I glanced at my watch; it was a little before eight thirty.

"That must be Charlie dropping Lily off," I said, getting up from the rock.

"Time to head back?" Emmett wondered, getting to his feet next to me.

"Yeah." I nodded, already heading in the direction of the path through the woods.

We got into the clearing surrounding the house just as Lily jumped out of the backseat of Charlie's cruiser. I could see him in the front seat, Billy Black next to him.

"Uncle Emmett!" Lily exclaimed when she spotted us.

"Hey there, shrimp." He picked her up and threw her into the air, earning a shriek. When he put her back on the ground, she looked up at him expectantly.

"Can we go camping while we're here?" she asked hopefully.

Emmett threw me a look that I couldn't quite decipher, and I immediately got the impression that he was up to something.

"We'll have to see, shrimp," he told Lily. "Maybe if the weather gets better. We don't want to risk getting washed away by a flash flood."

"Please!" she pleaded, using her best puppy eyes.

"Oh no!" Emmett ruffled her hair. "Those won't work on me. I grew up with Alice, I'm immune."

I grew up with Alice, too. It had never helped me one bit when it came to saying no to my daughter when she put on that face. I'd have to ask Emmett how he did it.

Lily seemed to realize that she wouldn't get anywhere on the subject, at least not tonight, and skipped off up the porch stairs and through the front door.

Emmett and I followed her into the house.

Everyone except Rosalie was in the living room. She had probably gone upstairs to put Noah to bed. Lily had curled up on the couch between Esme and Carlisle, and I sat down next to Bella.

"You OK?" she asked quietly, scrutinizing my face.

"Yeah," I replied, returning the look. "You?"

She didn't look upset or anything, so I assumed the talk with Rosalie had gone well.

"Yeah." She smiled a little and nodded.

"Good." I pulled her a little closer, leaning my chin against the top of her head and breathing in the scent of her shampoo. Strawberries.

I listened half-heartedly to Lily telling my parents about the game she and Madison had played. By the excited look on her face, we'd have a hard time keeping her away from there for the rest of our stay. Well, maybe that would distract her from wanting to go camping. Even if I knew that it was an irrational reaction, I had immediately shied away from the idea of another camping trip when Lily had suggested it. Thinking about another camping trip reminded me of the last one.

After about half an hour, Lily started yawning.

"Why don't you go upstairs and unpack your things?" Bella suggested.

"Do I have to?" Lily asked in a whiney voice that told me she was more tired than she let on.

"Well, you're toothbrush is in there, so unless you want to go to bed without brushing your teeth…" Bella didn't finish the sentence.

"I'm OK with that," Lily quickly replied.

"Your teeth won't be," I pointed out. "But I guess if you don't mind them falling out, you can skip brushing them."

"My teeth won't fall out just because I don't brush them _one_ night!" Lily objected.

"Maybe they won't, maybe they will." I shrugged.

She glared at me for a moment, but then she got up and climbed the stairs.

"You do know that that was technically a lie?" Bella wondered when Lily had disappeared.

"For her own good," I defended myself. "And only a very small, white lie."

Bella laughed at that. "I guess you have a point," she agreed.

Rosalie came back downstairs then.

"Kid out?" Emmett wondered, and she nodded.

"He could barely keep his eyes open, but he still wanted a story," she said, throwing Emmett a pointed look. "I wonder where he gets his stubbornness?"

"That's all you, baby," Emmett replied with a grin.

Rosalie chose to ignore his jab and sat down between him and Bella on the couch.

"I heard Lily stomping up the stairs," she noted.

"She has to unpack her things," Bella explained. "She wasn't too happy about it."

"You spoil her," Rosalie told me.

"_I_ spoil her?" I replied, exasperated. Not that it wasn't true, but I had nothing on Rose in that department. "Look at the pot calling the kettle black!"

"I'm her aunt, I'm supposed to spoil her," Rosalie objected. "It's part of my job description. You're the parent, it's your job to raise and discipline."

"Well, thank you so much for making that clear," I said dryly.

"Happy to be of service." Rosalie smirked.

"Have you unpacked everything?" Bella asked, pulling our attention to Lily, who was just coming back down the stairs. She nodded and came over to the couch, crawling into my lap. She was never mad at anyone for very long.

"Sleepy, princess?" I wondered, noting her drooping eyelids.

"Uh-huh," she mumbled, tucking her head in under my chin.

"You want me to tuck you in?"

She nodded.

"OK then."

I shifted her a little in my lap and waited until she wrapped her legs around my waist before standing up. She was getting a little big for this, but as long as she didn't object, I wasn't going to.

"Make sure she brushes her teeth," Bella reminded me.

"I did," Lily mumbled against my shoulder.

I glanced back at Bella.

"Be right back," I told her before heading up the stairs.

**Bella**

I watched Edward carry Lily up the stairs with a small smile on my lips. She really was a daddy's girl.

"So, you want us to take the shrimp camping next weekend?" Emmett asked after a moment. He had probably waited until he was sure Edward was out of earshot.

"Only if you want to," I replied. "I know she would love to, but it's not necessary. You can just stay here, if you want."

"No, a camping trip would be great," Emmett assured me. "Right, Jazz?"

"Sure, I'm up for it." Jasper nodded. "We should probably call and make a reservation, though."

"I'll do that tomorrow. You coming too, dad?" Emmett wondered.

"I'm on call on Saturday, so I'm going to have to sit this one out," Carlisle said. "I'm sure there will be other camping trips."

"And you're going down to the spa hotel in Ocean Shores?" Esme asked me, and I nodded.

"My boss gave me a gift certificate for a weekend there a couple of weeks ago, and I thought we could use some time away, just the two of us."

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Esme agreed.

"What sounds like an excellent idea?" Edward wondered, coming back downstairs. He reclaimed his previous seat next to me on the couch.

Crap. I had counted on him being gone a little longer.

"A picnic down at La Push tomorrow, if the weather is nice," Alice lied smoothly, and I shot her a grateful look.

"They did say that it's supposed to clear up during the night," Carlisle played along.

"Sounds good," Edward said, nodding.

It was a good thing that Alice was a much better liar than me. I really wanted the weekend to be a surprise, but it would be just like me to let something slip.

"Listen, Bella, there was something I wanted to talk to you about," Rosalie said, turning to me. "Would it be OK if we told Lily about the baby? Or do you want to do that?"

I imagined the questions that would inevitably follow and shuddered.

"No, you can tell her. I know she'll be thrilled," I told Rose. "As long as you deal with the subsequent 'where do babies come from' question."

Everyone laughed at that.

"I was actually planning on leaving that one to the expert," Edward piped in, nodding at Carlisle.

"Me?" he objected. "Why am I the expert?"

"Well, as far as I know, you're the only one here with a medical degree," Edward pointed out, teasing.

"Oh." Carlisle nodded. "Right. Didn't think about that."

"I think that sounds like a great idea," Rosalie agreed. "We'll just send all the kids to you when they start asking uncomfortable questions. I knew having a doctor in the family would pay off some day!"

"Right, because I, of course, do not find it at all embarrassing to talk to my grandchildren about these kinds of things." Carlisle frowned.

"I remember the 'sex talk'," Alice joined in the conversation, giggling. "I don't think I've ever seen dad so red!"

Emmett and Edward laughed with her, apparently reliving some similar conversation that they'd had with Carlisle.

I smiled as I watched them, but didn't really pay much attention to what they were saying. I was busy worrying about another question Lily might ask. One that I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with yet, and definitely had no idea how to answer.

xxxxx

The heat from the sun on my back was the first thing I became aware of as I slowly drifted out of unconsciousness the following morning.

I opened my eyes enough to ascertain that the sun was indeed shining in through the glass wall, and then I squeezed them shut again. I snuggled in closer to Edward, and his arm tightened around me, though he was still very much asleep. I loved that he reacted to my closeness even unconscious.

I didn't hear any sounds in the house, so I realized that it must still be pretty early. I didn't fall back asleep, but drifted in and out of consciousness. After a while, I heard the door to Lily's room open, and her footsteps in the hallway and down the stairs. The sound must have woken Edward up, because he stirred next to me in the bed.

"Morning," I mumbled.

"Mmmm." He pulled me closer, his lips searching for mine. I willingly let him find them, and we kissed lazily for a moment before he pulled away. "Morning."

"I wish we didn't have to get up." I sighed, laying my head down on his chest.

"We don't, at least not yet. What time is it?"

I twisted around so I could see the alarm clock on the bedside table.

"Only a little after eight thirty."

"Then we can stay in bed for at least another hour," he concluded.

"I think that might be pushing our luck."

He chuckled. "You're probably right. Between Lily and Alice, we'd be lucky to get fifteen minutes."

"Most likely."

I sighed, listening to the sound of his heart under my cheek. His fingers traced patterns on my arm, making the little hairs stand up.

"Are you really OK with all this?" he wondered after a little while. "I mean Rose and Em."

"I really am," I replied. "I mean, the timing sucks, obviously, but I'm happy for them. And it'll be fun to get to be involved."

"You say that now. You weren't around last time; Rose was a pain in the ass, bossing everyone around."

I had no doubt about that.

"I think she's entitled; it's not that much fun, you know, carrying a kid around for nine months," I pointed out.

"I didn't mean it like that," he quickly backtracked. "But she took it to an extreme."

I had no doubt about that, either.

"It'll be fun," I repeated.

"I sense a 'but' in there somewhere."

"I just… I guess I'm not really looking forward to Lily finding out," I admitted.

"Why? Are you worried she won't like getting another cousin?"

"Are you kidding? She'll be ecstatic."

"Then what's the…" He cut himself off. "Oh. Right. You're worried she'll want to know why she can't have a brother or sister."

"Exactly." I sighed. "I'm actually surprised she hasn't already asked about that. Most of her friends have younger siblings, you know. It would only be normal for her to ask."

We were silent for a moment.

"Well," he finally started. "I guess we'll just have to tell her that maybe she will, someday, but that things don't always work out the way you want them to."

"You think that will be enough?" I wondered skeptically.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I don't know what else to tell her."

"Me neither. That's sort of the problem."

At that moment, there was a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Lily's voice came from the hallway.

"Sure baby," I called back, waiting for the door to open.

"I can't open the door!" she called a moment later.

"What's she up to now?" Edward wondered, getting out of the bed. I took the opportunity to pull on a t-shirt.

When Edward opened the door, Lily appeared with a tray in her hands.

"I made you breakfast!" she exclaimed, sounding very pleased with herself.

"You did?" I straightened up in the bed and leaned against the headboard. "Wow!"

Lily walked into the room, very carefully, and put the tray down on the edge of the bed. There was toast, two mugs with coffee, three glasses with orange juice and cantaloupe and strawberries on a plate.

Edward got back in the bed, and Lily climbed into his lap, grabbing one of the glasses with orange juice.

"This is wonderful, princess," Edward said, ruffling her hair. "Thank you."

"Aunt Rosalie helped me," she told us. "Did you know that she's having a baby?" Lily's eyes sparkled.

"We did," I replied. "She told us yesterday."

"That's so cool!" she announced. "And aunt Rose said that I can help change its diaper and feed it and everything. Can I?" She gave me a pleading look.

"Of course, if Rosalie says that you can."

"Yay!"

I held my breath, waiting for another question. The one I dreaded.

But Lily took a piece of toast from the tray and started chewing, apparently satisfied at having received my OK. I glanced at Edward, and he shrugged a little.

"Are we going to the beach today?" Lily asked when she had finished the toast. "Aunt Alice said that we're having a picnic."

I looked out the glass wall, finding the sky a beautiful blue, not a cloud in sight.

"Well, the weather is nice, so I guess so," I told her.

"Is uncle Jacob coming?"

"We can call him and ask."

Jake had another week of vacation before he was going back to work, and I knew he was out on the reservation. He had brought his girlfriend, Vanessa, up to meet Billy.

"Can I call him right now?" Lily wondered excitedly. She and Jake still had a very special relationship.

"It's a little early," Edward pointed out. "He might still be asleep."

"But it's after nine." The thought that someone might still be asleep after nine o'clock in the morning seemed incomprehensible to her.

"Wait another hour," I told her, and she sighed.

"Fine," she grudgingly agreed.

"Is clean up included in the room service?" Edward wondered, swallowing the last piece of toast. Lily rolled her eyes at him.

"That's OK, I've got it," I said, getting out of the bed and pulling on a pair of sweats. I grabbed the tray and headed out of the room. When I got to the stairs, I heard Lily shriek with laughter from our room; Edward must be tickling her.

Alice and Rosalie were in the kitchen when I got downstairs.

"Morning," I greeted, setting the tray down on the counter by the dishwasher.

"Morning," they replied at the same time.

Rosalie noted the empty tray and smiled.

"Nice surprise?"

"Very nice, thank you."

"It was Lily's idea." Rose shrugged. "I just helped her cut up the cantaloupe, really."

"Well, thanks anyway." I put the plates, glasses and mugs into the dishwasher. "And the baby talk went OK?"

"It did." Rosalie nodded. "She was all excited, wanted to know if she could help out with diapers and feeding and stuff. That was all she asked, actually."

"Really? Nothing about the 'mechanics'?" I frowned. I had been sure she'd ask about that, at least. It was only natural to be curious, right?

"Nope, nothing."

"She might already know how it works," Alice said.

I gave her a questioning look.

"I didn't know sex ed was being taught as early as third grade these days," I noted dryly.

"It's not," Alice replied. "But kids find out about these things anyway. Someone's heard something from an older sibling, someone's seen pictures in a book… kids aren't stupid."

"I guess you're right," I agreed, though I wasn't happy that Lily might be that well informed. I supposed I should be glad if it got me out of the 'talk'. Well, for now at least. "Where is everyone?"

"Dad's at the hospital, mom's working in the office," Alice told me. "Jasper's still asleep; he and Emmett stayed up till who knows when last night, watching some marathon on TV."

"Emmett's asleep too, I guess."

"Oh no." Rosalie smirked. "He took Noah with him to Thriftway to get marshmallows. We can't have a picnic on the beach without grilling marshmallows."

"Very true," I agreed.

"We thought we'd have lunch there," Alice suggested. "Chicken and tuna sandwiches, some strawberries."

"Sounds great. The perfect first vacation day."

"Technically, you're not on vacation until Monday," Rosalie pointed out. "And my vacation is not over until Monday, either."

"Optimist," Alice teased.

"What can I say?" Rosalie shrugged. "I'm a glass half full kind of girl."

"That's the spirit!" I laughed.

"OK, lunch," Alice announced, opening the fridge.

We got up a good rhythm; Rosalie cut up the loafs of French bread and spread some butter on them, Alice added chicken or tuna, lettuce and tomatoes and I wrapped the finished sandwiches in plastic foil before sticking them into the fridge so they wouldn't go bad before it was time to eat them. While we worked, we chatted lightly about this and that.

Lily came downstairs just as I closed the fridge door for the last time. She had gotten dressed and was wearing a pair of pink shorts and a purple t-shirt.

"It might be a little cold to just wear shorts, sweetie," I told her. "Why don't you put on a pair of jeans and bring the shorts? If it gets too warm, you can change."

"But it's already really warm outside!" she objected.

"'Really warm'?" I questioned. I had a feeling that term was subjective; my 'really warm' was probably a lot warmer than Lily's 'really warm'.

"It's around sixty-five," Alice offered. "But it is supposed to get warmer."

"OK, fine," I surrendered. "But bring a sweater at least; we might be there for a while."

"OK," Lily happily agreed. "Can I call uncle Jacob now?"

I checked my watch; it was almost ten.

"Sure, go ahead."

"Yay!"

She skipped off into the living room in the direction of the phone. I knew that Billy, at least, would be up, and I didn't think that Jake would mind getting woken up by Lily, if he was still asleep.

"I tried to keep her upstairs until it was safe to let her near the phone," Edward's voice came from behind me.

"Good thinking." I turned to find him leaning against the counter, hair wet from the shower, a smile on his face. "I'm going to take a shower, too. Be right back."

I gave him a quick kiss before leaving the kitchen and climbing the stairs.

**Edward**

When Bella had gone upstairs, I went into the living room and turned on the television, sitting down on the couch. Lily was on the edge of one of the armchairs, babbling excitedly into the phone. I tried to tune her out, but some words slipped through, like beach, picnic and camping. After a few minutes, she held the phone out to me.

"Uncle Jacob wants to talk to you."

I took the phone and Lily disappeared into the kitchen, where Alice and Rosalie were still fixing something for the trip to the beach.

"Hey, Jake."

"_Where does she get all the energy?"_ he complained. _"It's ten in the morning, for Pete's sake!"_

"She woke you up?" I concluded.

"_No, we were already up,"_ he said. _"But not _that_ up."_

I chuckled a little. I knew what he meant.

"She can be a little overwhelming, can't she?"

"_Understatement."_ He sighed. _"Anyway, I'm not sure I caught everything she said, she was going a mile a minute."_

"We're going to First Beach in a while, having lunch there. The girls have packed a picnic basket," I told him. "I'm guessing she wants you to come."

"_Right. When are you coming down here?"_

"I'm not sure, probably around noon. I could give you a call when we leave."

"_Great, do that."_ He paused for a moment. _"Is Bells around? I haven't talked to her in weeks."_

As soon as Jacob had gotten back to Seattle after the Fourth of July weekend, he and Vanessa had gone to New York, where he had bought an old, classic car and driven it back to Forks. They had been on the road for the past weeks, only getting back here a few days ago.

"She's taking a shower, actually."

"_OK. Well, I guess we can catch up later."_

"Yeah." For a moment, I thought about telling him about what had happened, give him a heads up. But then I decided that it was up to Bella if she wanted to talk to him about it. "I'll call you when we're on our way."

"_Great. See you soon."_

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, tossing it onto the table. I heard the front door open, and a moment later, Emmett flopped down on the couch next to me, dropping a big bag of marshmallows on the table.

"I thought you were still asleep," I noted. When the rest of us had gone to bed last night, he and Jasper had stayed up for a _Fast and the Furious_ marathon.

"I wish." He sighed and leaned his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes. "Rose made me go get marshmallows for the picnic."

"Ah. What Rosalie wants…"

"Rosalie gets," he filled in. "I'm telling you, she's going to drive me crazy this time around. Her hormones are already worse than last time."

I had a feeling Rosalie might be playing it up a bit, taking advantage of Emmett's inability to say no to her. But I wasn't going to tell him that. Like Bella had said, Rosalie deserved to be spoiled a little right now. And as long as Emmett was the one on the receiving end…

"You think she'll notice if I go upstairs and take a nap?" Emmett mumbled, sinking deeper into the couch.

"Yes, I will," Rosalie replied, coming into the living room with Noah in tow.

"Right." Emmett seemed to have to struggle to get his eyes open. "Of course."

"Did you buy him candy at the store?" Rosalie demanded.

"Er… no?" Emmett gave her a sheepish look.

"Well, then you can deal with the sugar rush," she told him with an evil smile. "Take him outside for a while, let him run it off."

"Alright." Emmett pushed himself up from the couch and picked Noah up, tossing him into the air before settling the little boy on his shoulders. "You coming, bro?"

"Sure." I got up. "Lily's in the kitchen with Alice?"

"Yeah, we've got her." Rosalie nodded.

I followed Emmett out into the back yard where he got a soccer ball from the small shed that held mainly gardening tools and toys for the kids. He kicked the ball in the direction of the woods before putting Noah down on the ground. He happily ran after it.

"The kid loves soccer," Emmett noted. "I've tried to get him to toss the football around, but he always goes back to the soccer."

"He's three, Em," I pointed out, watching as Noah kicked the soccer ball back, little by little. "I'm sure there's plenty of time to mold him into the perfect football player."

"True," Emmett replied through a yawn, sitting down in one of the lawn chairs. "You don't mind playing with him for a bit, do you?"

"Sure."

I didn't mind. Unlike Emmett, I actually liked soccer. I kicked the ball in different directions, and Noah excitedly ran after it as fast as he could, kicking it back to me. It was a good thing Carlisle had thought to put a fence around the pool when they renovated the house, or Noah would have fallen into it more than once; he never looked where he was going, only at the ball.

Soon I could hear Emmett snoring in the lawn chair. I chuckled at that; he really should know better than to stay up all night. Rosalie would never let him lounge in bed all day.

After half an hour, Lily came out and played with us. She was very much a girly-girl, she loved clothes and playing dress-up, but she also liked sports and outdoor activities. A very good combination.

"Hey there."

I looked up at Bella's voice, finding her on the patio, watching our game with a smile on her face. She was wearing a pair of shorts – very short shorts – and a tank top. I had some trouble forcing my eyes to her face.

"We should probably get going," she said. "It's almost twelve thirty, and everyone's getting hungry."

"Right." I grabbed the soccer ball; we could bring it to the beach. "We must have lost track of time."

Emmett was still asleep in the lawn chair, so I kicked it to wake him up.

"What?" He jumped up, looking wildly around him.

"Time to wake up, Sleeping Ugly," I told him.

"But I was having such a great dream!" he complained. "Carmen Electra and… hi babe!"

I looked up to see Rosalie just inside the open French doors, a frown on her face.

"What was that about Carmen Electra?" she wanted to know.

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." Emmett shot me a look clearly screaming 'help'. I shrugged; he was on his own. "I was just saying how much prettier than her you are, that's all."

I could see that Rosalie didn't buy this.

"Come on, guys." I ushered Lily and Noah into the house before following them. Bella was right behind us.

"It should be interesting to see how he worms his way out of this one," she mumbled to me when she had closed the doors behind us. "Do not mention a beautiful woman to your pregnant wife, just a warning for the future."

"Wouldn't dream of it."


	12. 12 A Day at the Beach

**AN: Next chapter for you guys. I hope the interest in this story isn't fading... I'll keep posting, anyway, but it's always more fun to do so when you know that there are people anxiously waiting for what you've written. Anyway, on with the story. Hope you like the chapter, and let me know!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. **

**12 – A Day at the Beach**

**Bella**

First Beach was – unsurprisingly – crowded when we got there. It was July, Saturday, the sun was shining and the temperature was in the high seventies; it was no wonder we weren't the only ones who had decided to go to the beach.

Jake and Vanessa were already there, having secured us a good spot.

"Uncle Jacob!" Lily exclaimed when she spotted him, running the few yards that were left between us and jumping into his arms.

"Hey there kid." He swung her around in the air. "Wow, you're getting heavy! Has it only been three weeks?"

"That's what happens when you go on a cross-country road trip; things change," I teased him.

"Tell me about it." He put Lily down and pulled me into a hug. "Missed you, Bells."

"Missed you too." I hugged him back tightly. "But you had fun, right?"

"We sure did." He let me go. "Do you have any idea of how long you can drive in the United States of America without running into another human being? I bet you'd be surprised."

"It was great!" Vanessa objected. "Hey Bella."

"Hi." I offered her a smile. "So the trip was good?"

Vanessa and I had gotten off to a somewhat rocky start. She and Jake had been dating for about six months now, and in the beginning, she'd been a little insecure around me. Even though she knew I was happily married and that there had never been anything romantic between Jacob and me, she had felt a little threatened by our close relationship, something she had just admitted recently. It had been getting better lately, though, and I had a feeling we would be good friends one day.

"It was amazing; there are so many fascinating places all over this country."

"Right. The largest cross in the world was really fascinating," Jacob said dryly. "I had a hard time tearing myself away."

"Oh, shut up!" Vanessa slapped him on the arm.

"Come on, Nessie. Not even you can honestly say that the world's largest ball of twine was any fun," he insisted.

"You know I hate that nickname!" she complained. "But fine, I will admit that there's some… weird stuff out there as well."

"That's all I'm asking."

I couldn't help but smile at their playful banter. I was so glad that Jake had finally found someone. Vanessa was perfect for him.

"Anyone hungry?" Alice joined our little circle. The others were already sitting on the blankets we had brought, eating the lunch we had prepared earlier.

"Thanks, Ali." I accepted the sandwich she offered me.

"We made enough for you too," she continued, holding out one to Jacob and Vanessa each. "You'll have to fight about who gets chicken and who gets tuna, though."

"Thanks, Alice, that's really nice," Vanessa said with a smile, taking one of the sandwiches. Jacob quickly grabbed the other one.

"Yeah, thanks."

We sat down on the blankets, joining the others.

It always amazed me how much better food, any food, really, tasted out in the open. The sandwiches were really delicious.

"Can we grill the marshmallows now?" Lily asked when everyone had finished.

"It's a little too crowded to make a fire, princess," Edward told her.

"But we were going to grill marshmallows," she complained, pouting.

"We'll do it a little later, when people start to leave," I said, stepping into the conversation. "You wouldn't want someone to accidentally run into our fire, would you?"

"No." She shook her head, still looking disappointed.

"Come on, shrimp," Emmett said, standing up. "Let's go kick the ball around for a while, give your old man a workout."

"Oh, I need a workout, do I?" Edward jumped to his feet. "Who was the one passed out in the back yard earlier?"

"Only temporary." Emmett grabbed Noah and threw him over his shoulder. The little boy shrieked with laughter. "Now I'm going to kick your ass! Grab the soccer ball, shrimp."

Lily happily did as he said, and the four of them took off towards a small spot of grass by the parking lot. I looked after them with a smile.

"Not interested in joining the game?" Jacob noted in an innocent voice.

"Funny." I shot him an evil look. "Do you want me to break something?"

"Wouldn't that be the perfect start of your vacation?" He chuckled.

"I think I'll pass, thank you."

"Your decision." He looked at me for a long moment. "Want to go for a walk?"

I frowned. Was there something he wanted to talk about?

"OK."

I got up, and he followed my lead. I could see that Vanessa was about to ask if she could come along, but apparently, she changed her mind.

"Back in a bit, babe," Jake said, leaning down to give her a kiss.

He led the way towards the trees, away from the sunbathing tourists. We had gotten a few feet into the shadow of the forest before he looked over at me, a scrutinizing look on his face.

"Did something happen?" he asked.

Oh. _He_ didn't want to talk, he thought that _I_ did.

He knew me too well. I should have realized that he would pick up on the sadness that still lingered, that probably always would. For a brief second, I considered lying to him. But I had always been a terrible liar in general, and I had never been able to lie to Jake. Besides, he never hesitated to call me on it.

So I took a deep breath and leaned against the trunk of the nearest tree.

"We've been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months," I started.

"Oh." He frowned. "Is there something… wrong?" he asked after a moment.

"No, no, nothing like that." I took another deep breath. "I had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago."

He was silent for a moment, apparently not having anticipated this.

"Oh, honey." He pulled me into one of his bone breaking hugs. I willingly hugged him back, feeling just a few tears in my eyes. The pain was still there, of course, but it was getting better. "Really stupid question, I know, but are you OK?"

"I'm getting there."

"Let me know if there's anything I can do," he mumbled, squeezing me a little tighter.

"You're doing it."

Jacob had always had the ability to cheer me up, no matter how dark everything seemed. His mere presence had some sort of calming effect.

"How come you didn't say anything, before this happened I mean?" he asked, pulling back so he could look at me. "Did you know for long, before…?"

"A couple of weeks. I guess we didn't want to jinx anything." I laughed once, humorlessly, wiping away a lone tear. "Lot of good _that_ did."

"It'll be OK," he assured me, putting an arm around my shoulders and pulling me along back towards the beach. "If this is what you really want, you'll get it. I have no doubt about that."

I wished I could be as certain as he was.

**Edward**

I didn't notice when Bella and Jake left, but I saw when they reemerged from the woods. Jacob had his arm around her in a comforting manner, and I saw her wipe a tear away from her cheek.

"Jazz, could you take my place?" I wondered, and Jasper happily stepped in, playing with Lily.

Jacob rejoined Vanessa on the blanket where we had been sitting earlier, but Bella stayed back a little, sitting down on a fallen tree by the edge of the forest. I went over and sat down next to her.

"You OK?" I asked, squeezing her hand.

"Fine," she replied, smiling a little. "I just talked to Jake."

I didn't need to ask about what.

"It feels like it's getting easier," she continued, gazing out over the sea. "Talking about it, I mean. Maybe Doctor Wallace was right about that."

"Do you want to call one of those support groups Esme mentioned?"

She shook her head at my question.

"Not yet. I think talking to the people you love is better, at least for me." She looked up at me. "But if you want to…"

"No, I just thought if you felt like it was helping…"

I couldn't imagine talking about this with a total stranger. This was _our_ loss, _our_ grief. We had each other, and we had our family. That was enough.

Bella leaned her head against my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her.

"She's having fun, isn't she?" she noted with a smile on her lips, her eyes on Lily, who had just scored and was giving Jasper a high-five. "I blame you for the sports interest, by the way."

"It's a good thing she didn't get your hand-eye coordination," I teased.

"Funny."

I chuckled and placed a kiss on top of her head.

"You know I'm only teasing you."

We sat there in silence, watching the eternal ocean and our daughter having fun with her uncles and cousin. After a while, Lily came running up to us.

"I really, really need to use the bathroom," she said, crossing her legs.

"Ask Jake to take you back to his place," Bella suggested, and Lily hurried off back to where Jacob was sitting with Vanessa on the blankets. He got up and started walking in the direction of his dad's house, Lily half-running next to him to keep up.

"Good thing she didn't wait until the very last minute," I noted, unable to suppress a laugh.

"Oh, give her a break," Bella objected. "She's eight, playing is the most important thing in the world at that age, don't you remember?"

"Or maybe procrastination is hereditary," I hinted.

"I do not procrastinate!" she exclaimed.

"Did I say I was talking about you?" I asked, a small smile contradicting my words.

"Oh, just shut up!"

xxxxx

Around six, the beach got less crowded as people began to leave. The sun was still pretty high in the sky, even if the temperature had dropped a little. Everyone were getting hungry again, so Alice and Jasper went to the local store and bought hot dogs and hamburgers while Emmett and I started the fire. Lily helped us gather driftwood, watching the fire with amazement when we lit it. She was still as fascinated by the odd colors, and I had to admit, the blue and green of the flames were mesmerizing.

We sat around the fire long after the hot dogs, hamburgers and marshmallows were gone. Jacob's dad, Billy, came down and joined us after a while, and soon after, Charlie and Sue showed up as well.

As the sun sank towards the horizon, Billy started telling Quileute legends; about Q'wati, who was called the Creator because he turned two wolfs into a man and a woman and thereby formed the tribe, the Thunderbird, an enormous bird who saved the tribe from starvation, and Dask'iya, a cannibal woman who ate children. I noticed Lily moving a little closer to me and Bella when Billy started on the last story.

We started packing up when a bunch of kids from the reservation came down to the beach and started their own bonfire. Billy gave them all stern looks before we left, but that didn't seem to put a damper on the situation.

Lily fell asleep in the car on the way home; it was almost ten after all, and it had been a long day. When we got back to the house, I carried her upstairs and tucked her in. She was completely out of it, not even noticing that she was being moved.

When I stood up, I spotted Bella in the doorway.

"She'll sleep well tonight," she noted, smiling at Lily's unconscious form in the bed.

"She's been up and at it since eight this morning, so she'd better." I followed her out into the hallway and closed the door to Lily's room behind me. "No excursions tomorrow?"

"Nothing that's planned," Bella replied, a mischievous smile on her lips. "But then again, you never know."

We went into our room and I slumped down on the bed.

"I'm not sure if that's a threat or a promise," I said. "I'm completely beat after today."

Bella lay down on the bed next to me, propping her head up on her elbow.

"It would be nice with a do-nothing-all-day kind of day tomorrow," she admitted.

"Exactly my point."

She got up from the bed, the same smile on her face again.

"OK then. Nothing to strenuous tomorrow. I'm just going to take a shower, I feel like I have sand absolutely everywhere." She pulled off her top on the way to the bathroom and then opened the door. She let the shorts drop to the floor and glanced at me over her shoulder. "I was going to ask you to join me, but if you're beat…"

I jumped off the bed quickly.

"Not that beat."

**Bella**

I woke up when my phone chirped on Sunday morning. I reached out for it, glancing at the clock. Eight fifteen.

"What's up?" Edward mumbled sleepily next to me.

"Hang on." I opened the message, which was from Angela.

_Flight delayed, stuck at Heathrow. Call you when we get in. Love A._

"Ben and Angela's flight has been delayed, they're stuck in London," I reported.

They must have already been there for a while; they were supposed to land in Seattle at noon.

"That sucks." Edward rolled onto his back, pulling me down on his chest.

"At least it was on the way home, and not on the way over there," I pointed out. "That would have been worse."

"True," he agreed. "So, lounging in bed all day?"

"The lounging part, yes, but I doubt we'll get away with staying in bed all day." But it was nice to dream.

"We could always try," he suggested. "Who knows, they might not notice we're gone."

As if she had heard him, the door opened a fraction of an inch and Lily peeked into the room. When she saw that we were awake, she threw the door wide open and jumped into the bed.

"What are we doing today?" she wondered excitedly.

"How about just hanging out here?" I suggested.

"Can't we go back to the beach?" she asked hopefully.

Edward glanced out the glass wall before answering her. The sky was a uniform grey color, clouds covering every inch of the blue that lay behind them.

"It seems like the sun is taking a break," he pointed out. "It won't be very nice at the beach.

"Please?" She put on her best puppy eyes. "I want to go look at the tidal pools."

"We'll go another day, OK baby? We're going to be here for two weeks, there's plenty of time," I told her. She just huffed disappointedly.

"Why don't we plug in the Wii, you can beat your uncles at Madagascar Kartz for a change." Edward suggestion brought a smile back to Lily's face.

I hadn't liked the idea of bringing the Wii up here at first; kids should play outside in the summer. But then Edward had pointed out that it wouldn't be all that fun trying to keep Lily entertained for two weeks if the weather didn't improve.

"Come on." Lily jumped off the bed and tugged on Edward's arm. "Let's go plug it in right away!"

"Hold your horses!" He easily locked her hands in one of his own. "Can't we take it a little easy? We are on vacation."

"Da-ad!" she complained, struggling to get free.

"Go downstairs and watch TV for a little while. We'll be right down," he promised, letting her go.

"Fine," she grudgingly agreed, crossing her arms over her chest and putting on a stern look. "But if you're not down there in half an hour, I'm coming back up!"

With that, she left the room.

"Where did she get that bossy attitude?" Edward wondered.

We looked at each other for a moment.

"Alice," we then said at the same time.

I sighed and got up, pulling on a pair of sweats that were draped over the chair.

"Where do you think you're going?" he objected.

"You heard the lady." I pulled a t-shirt over my head. "Best not to push our luck."

"And what if I want to push it?" he wondered, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me back down on the bed. His hand traveled up under my t-shirt, making it very difficult to remember what I was supposed to say.

"You did hear that she was coming back up, right?" I managed to get out, and luckily, his hand stopped on its way up my stomach.

"I don't suppose we could lock the door?" he suggested half-heartedly.

"You are just going to have to keep that thought until tonight," I said, giving him a quick kiss before getting up from the bed again. "I'm going to go start breakfast."

"I'll be right there."

I left the room and continued down the stairs, finding Lily in front of the television in the living room. It didn't seem like anyone else was up yet.

"How would you like going camping this weekend?" I asked, sitting down on the couch next to her. Might as well take advantage of Edward not being in the room.

"Really?" She beamed at me.

"Really. You and uncle Emmett and uncle Jasper."

"You and dad aren't coming?" The excited look was replaced by a slightly disappointed one.

"Dad and I are going away on our own this weekend," I explained, feeling a little bad. "We need some grown-up time alone together."

"Can't grandpa Carlisle and grandpa Charlie come?"

"Grandpa Carlisle has to work, but you can ask grandpa Charlie if you want." I glanced up the stairs to make sure Edward wasn't on his way down. The coast was still clear. "But I need you to keep this a secret, OK? I want to surprise your dad."

"I'm the best at keeping secrets," she announced, whispering.

"I bet you are," I whispered back.

"What are you two whispering about?"

We both looked up to find Edward halfway down the stairs.

"Girly stuff," I told him with a smile, winking to Lily.

"Uh-huh, girly stuff," she repeated, nodding frantically.

Edward frowned a little, but didn't push. I only hoped that he wouldn't sink so low as to resort to torture; Lily would give anything away if you tickled her.

"Alright, let's get that game set up," he said, and Lily excitedly got the bag with the Wii from the closet by the front door.

I stayed on the couch – a safe distance away from anything electronic that I could break – and watched as Lily tried to help him plug the game in. After only a couple of minutes, the familiar menu appeared on the screen.

"Madagascar Kartz!" Lily exclaimed happily, getting the two wheels with remotes from the bag and handing one of them to Edward.

"Play with your mom, I'm going to make breakfast," he said, giving the wheel to me.

"Are you sure you don't want to play," I called after him, teasing. "I can fix breakfast."

"No, no, that's OK," he insisted. "I'll play… later."

I had to suppress a laugh.

"Come on, mom, you have to pick a character!" Lily said impatiently, and I turned my attention to the game.

**Edward**

I happily retreated to the kitchen, leaving the humiliation to Bella; she was just as bad at Madagascar Kartz as I was. But at least Lily got a thrill out of beating us.

I got a bowl from the cupboard and a carton of eggs from the fridge and started breaking them into the bowl.

"Morning."

I looked up to see Rosalie coming into the kitchen, Noah on her hip.

"Morning."

"I see you've brought out the child-distracter," she noted, putting Noah down on the floor. He came over to where I was standing, his fingers curling around the edge of the counter as he tried to see what I was doing.

"She wanted to go back to the beach," I explained.

"Ah. Nothing like some videogame to keep the kids in the house." Rosalie smirked a little.

"Yes, we wouldn't want her to go outside, all that clean air," I replied sarcastically.

"Eggs!" Noah exclaimed.

"That's right." I picked him up. "You want to help me make breakfast?" I gave him the whip and picked up the bowl so he could reach. He happily started pounding the egg mixture.

"Great, you keep him occupied for a while," Rose said gratefully, going into the living room.

I let Noah play with the eggs for a little while, then I whipped them up, got a frying pan and poured the eggs into it. Noah objected to being deprived of the whip, so I got another one out of the drawer and gave it to him. He started hitting me on the head with it.

"Ow!" I exclaimed theatrically, touching the spot. "That hurt, you little…"

Like I expected, Noah started laughing, hitting me again.

"Alright, that's it."

I grabbed him by the ankle and let him dangle upside down for a moment, while I stirred the eggs. His laugh became almost hysterical as he struggled to get upright.

"OK, up you go." I settled him on my hip again. "What else do we need? Toast?" I got bread out of the pantry and plugged the toaster in. "You want to put them in?" I held out a couple of slices to Noah, and he jammed them into the toaster a little too roughly. "Hmm… well, maybe I should do that." I took the slightly mangled slices of bread out of the toaster and put new ones in. "You play with your whip, OK?" In response, he hit me over the head again.

It probably took twice as long to make breakfast with Noah 'helping' than it would have without him, but he had fun. By the time we were finished, Alice, Jasper and Esme had come downstairs as well. Carlisle was still at work and Emmett, most likely, sleeping.

"OK, everyone, breakfast!" I called into the living room.

"Beakfast!" Noah imitated me.

"That's right." I put him down on the floor, taking the whip from him. "And I think I'll take the torture device."

I waited until everyone else had food on their plates and then shuffled the rest of the eggs onto one for myself. Emmett could make his own breakfast when he eventually got up. I sat down next to Bella at the breakfast counter.

"I'm not sure who had the most fun before, you or Noah," she noted in an amused voice.

"He's a great kid," I said, shrugging. "He had fun."

"I have no doubt about that." She looked at me for a moment, an expression I couldn't decipher on her face. "You're kind of amazing, have I told you that lately?"

"I think it's been a while," I replied with a smile.

"Well, you are."

"Right back at you." I leaned in for a kiss, and she happily obliged.

"Eating over here," Alice's voice made me sigh.

"Save it for later," Bella reminded me, returning her attention to the food. I leaned in closer, my lips by her ear.

"I'll hold you to that," I mumbled, low enough that only she heard me, and noticed her shiver a little.

After breakfast, we settled in for a day of videogames; it had started raining outside and none of us was very eager to leave the house. I was happy to let the others play, gladly giving up my turn.

"We've got to get one of these!" Emmett exclaimed a little after noon. He had finally stumbled downstairs half an hour earlier, and had just beaten Jasper in a boxing game.

"So that you can spend even more time in front of the TV?" Rosalie questioned, patting his stomach. "I don't think so."

"Are you trying to say that I'm not fit enough?" he wondered, appalled. "I'll have you know that I'm just as well-trained now as I was when we met."

Rosalie only laughed at that.

After lunch, we convinced Lily to turn the game off for a while, and instead played Monopoly. By the time Alice managed to bankrupt everyone, it was almost time for dinner.

"I want chicken nuggets," Lily announced.

"It's a good thing that I always have some chicken nuggets in the fridge for a special occasion then, isn't it?" Esme ruffled Lily's hair. "Want to help me with dinner?"

Lily happily agreed, following Esme into the kitchen. The rest of us cleared up after the game and then sat down on the couch. Emmett turned the television on.

"Great, the Mariners are playing!" he exclaimed.

"Bayball!" Noah yelled happily next to him.

"That's right, kid." Emmett pulled the little boy into his lap. "Maybe I'll teach you to throw the baseball next week, huh? So that you can become a pro and support your mom and me when we get old."

"Good plan," Rosalie noted dryly.

"Yes, nothing could possibly go wrong with that one," Alice agreed.

Emmett ignored them.

After a while, the smell of food filled the room, and I realized I was actually really hungry. Funny how doing nothing all day could do that.

"Why don't you go wake up your grandfather?" Esme suggested to Lily when they had put the food on the table. "He's been asleep long enough, and he's probably hungry."

"OK." Lily took off up the stairs, and the rest of us went into the dining room.

"No ketchup," I noted, going into the kitchen to get it. When I got back, Bella was laughing. "What?"

"I just don't understand how you can eat that together," she said incredulously.

"It's great," Alice piped in, grabbing the ketchup and covering her chicken nuggets. "You should try it."

"Trust me, I have." Bella wrinkled her nose. "It's disgusting."

"That's what you think," I told her, taking the ketchup from Alice and following her example. I put the bottle down next to Lily's plate; she was the only one, apart from Alice and me, who liked the combination.

"Can I have some?" Rosalie wondered from across the table, and Emmett gave her a funny look. "What? It's not my fault the kid wants ketchup! You're the one with the weird genes!"

Everyone started laughing at that, and Rosalie scowled at us.

"It's not funny!"

**Bella**

After dinner, Alice and Jasper left to go to a movie in town, and the rest of us hung around, watching TV. Well, the kids watched TV; the rest of us weren't that interested in _Dora the Explorer_. Lily had really outgrown the show as well, but since Noah loved it, she watched with him.

When I got back downstairs after putting Lily to bed at nine, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hi,"_ Angela's tired voice came over the line.

"Hi, are you finally home?" Only nine hours after schedule.

"_Yes, finally."_ She sighed. _"I don't know what time zone I'm in anymore, we've been traveling for almost thirty hours."_

"What was with the hold-up?" I asked.

"_Well, first the plane from Athens was delayed for two hours, which of course made us miss the flight from London. So we had to wait for another one that wasn't full, and that was five hours there. And then there was some problem with the command tower in New York, so all flights from Newark were delayed a couple of hours. All in all, we're about nine hours late."_

"But you've had a good time, at least?" I tried to cheer her up.

"_We really did, it's been amazing,"_ she gushed, distracted, just like I'd hoped. _"The Colosseum, the Eiffel tower, Big Ben, the Sagrada Familia, the Acropolis… it's been absolutely amazing."_

"I'm glad you've had fun."

"_We've taken millions of pictures,"_ she continued. _"We're having a big show when you get back here. When is that?"_

"Next Sunday," I told her. "Renée and Phil are flying in on the thirteenth, so we'll drive down the day before."

"_Great. OK, I've got to go, Ben is looking a little annoyed. We're still at the airport."_

"Go, don't let me hold you up."

"_OK. See you next week then, bye!"_

"Bye."

I hung up the phone.

"Ben and Angela finally got back?" Edward wondered.

"Yeah, she sounded pretty exhausted," I replied. "The flights were uncooperative the whole way, apparently."

"At least they got home OK."

"Yeah."

"Anyone up for a non-PG movie?" Emmett asked, holding up a DVD with a scary-looking cover.

"How non-PG are we talking?" I wondered suspiciously. "You know Rose and I don't like horror movies."

"Oh, come on!" He put the movie in the DVD. "It's just some severed limbs and a little blood."

I spent most of the movie hiding my face against Edward's shoulder; it was horrible.

"I'm going to have nightmares for days," I complained as we climbed the stairs.

Edward only chuckled, a few steps ahead of me.

"It wasn't that bad," Emmett objected from behind me.

"Oh, yes it was!" I snapped back. "I knew there was a reason I hadn't watched these movies before."

"I'm with you," Rosalie agreed, shuddering. "Only I probably won't be able to sleep at all."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," Emmett promised.

"Thank you, I feel so much better now," she said dryly. "Night, guys."

"Night." I turned around on the step. "You're leaving early tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I told my boss I wouldn't be in until after lunch, but I'll have to get going at eight at the latest."

"Well, if we're not up by then, drive safely and we'll see you next weekend." I winked to her. Rosalie was coming up for the weekend, but Edward and I wouldn't be here, of course.

"See you then," she replied, playing along. "Maybe we can get the boys out of the house and have a girls' weekend."

"Sounds good."

We continued up the stairs to the third floor. Edward opened the door to Lily's room, revealing her sound asleep in the bed, curled into a ball under the covers. We stood in the doorway, watching her, for a moment.

"Time for bed," Edward then suggested, closing the door. I couldn't hold back an involuntary tremble; I was bound to have horrible dreams brought on by the movie. "You're really worried about nightmares?"

"You know I always get nightmares when I've watched horror movies," I reminded as I followed him into our room. "That's the reason I don't watch them in the first place."

"Hmm…" He seemed to ponder something while he pulled the coverlet off the bed.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and he joined me after a moment. Something in the simple, everyday routine of standing side by side, brushing our teeth, made me smile. When I was done, I put my toothbrush back in the glass on the sink and splashed some water on my face.

I heard Edward move next to me, and expected him to leave the bathroom. Instead, I felt him right behind me, his body pressed against mine.

"Do you think it might help with the nightmares if I… distract you a little?" he mumbled in my ear before pressing his lips against my neck, just below my ear.

I gulped.

"Maybe," I replied, my voice shaking a little. I could feel him smiling against my skin.

His hands turned me around, so my back was against the sink, his lips never leaving my throat. He stepped a little closer, pressing me against the cool surface of the sink behind me. His lips traveled up to mine, and I willingly kissed him back, my arms sneaking around his neck.

Our kisses grew more and more passionate, and after a while – it could have been minutes, it could have been hours – he picked me up, meaning to put me down on the counter. However, he forgot that the sink was right behind me, and I ended up in that instead, the tap cutting into my back.

"Ouch," I giggled.

"Hmm." He surveyed me for a moment. "Not what I was aiming for."

"You know…" I started, pulling myself out of the sink and wrapping my legs around his waist. "There is a very comfortable bed just in the next room."

"You don't say?"

**AN: OK, I couldn't resist putting the Nessie thing in there. And the Quileute legends are real, I did a lot of research before writing that part.**


	13. 13 A Weekend Getaway

**AN: Getting on with the story… I've gotten some complaints that I don't have enough lemon in the story. It's rated M because there is mature content, but there won't be in every chapter. Sorry about that, but I don't want the story to be all about sex. Anyway, here we go, hope you like it! Let me know…**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own them. **

**13 – A Weekend Getaway**

**Edward**

When I woke up on Monday morning, Bella was lying close to the edge of the bed, curled up on her side. I moved closer until I was right behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist. She signed in her sleep and half-turned towards me.

"Morning," I murmured, burying my nose in the hollow by her collar bone.

"Mmmm," she mumbled back.

"Not quite awake?"

"Mmmbay."

"I'll take that as a no." I chuckled.

She turned the rest of the way around and threw an arm around me, snuggling closer. I pulled her even tighter against me and just lay there, enjoying having her so close.

After a while, her breathing became more shallow and then she opened one eye slightly, glancing up at me. She quickly squeezed it shut again and pressed her face against my chest.

"Sleep well?" I wondered, and she nodded. "My way of keeping nightmares away worked, then?"

"I like your nightmare prevention," she said, her voice still husky with sleep, and I felt her lips against my throat.

"Is that right?" I mumbled, pulling her face up to mine. The kiss was lazy, she wasn't completely awake yet.

"Uh-huh," she breathed.

"That's a very good thing." I rolled onto my back, pulling her on top of me. I could already feel my body reacting to her.

"Morning." She pulled back a little, a smirk on her face. Her hair was ruffled from the pillows, her eyelids still heavy.

"Morning." I smiled at the sleepy look in her eyes.

"It's sunny again," she noted, glancing out the glass wall.

"I hadn't actually noticed," I admitted, becoming aware of the yellowish light in the room for the first time. I had been too distracted by Bella's sleeping form next to me to notice insignificant details like the weather.

"Think if we bribe them, the others would take Lily to the beach and leave us here… all alone?" she wondered, her teeth grazing the skin on my earlobe.

"I think… Lily might have an objection to that," I managed to get out. Her body pressed against mine, her lips down the side of my throat… were making it very difficult to form a rational thought.

She pulled away again and sighed. I was about to pull her back down, needing to feel every inch of her skin against mine, when her stomach growled loudly.

"Oops." She smiled sheepishly.

"Hungry?" I asked unnecessarily.

"In more ways than one," she replied, leaning down for another kiss. At that moment, the sound of footsteps was heard from the hallway. "But some hungers are going to have to wait."

I stayed where I was while she got out of the bed and pulled on a pair of sweats and a tattered t-shirt. What I really wanted to do was grab her and pull her back into bed and then not let her go for a couple of hours. It was at times like these that I most wished we were on a deserted island. Or at least somewhere without a bunch of nosy family members in the building.

"You coming?" Bella asked, turning to face me.

"Apparently not," I muttered under my breath, too low for her to hear. But I grabbed a pair of shorts from the floor and pulled them on along with a t-shirt. "Let's go."

xxxxx

The rest of the week went by in a similar fashion. The weather was not consistent; one day the rain would pour down for hours at a time, the next the sun would shine from a cloudless sky. We alternated between the beach, the back yard, games and the television.

Neither Bella nor Lily brought up going camping again, and I was grateful for not having to either invent an excuse not to go or plan a trip. I wasn't in the mood for either.

After breakfast on Friday morning, Lily wanted to go outside and play soccer in the back yard. I was surprised that she didn't insist on going to the beach, like she had every sunny morning so far, but happily agreed. She grabbed Noah by the hand and towed him along as well, and I spotted Emmett plopping down on the couch in the living room, happy to get some kid-free time with ESPN.

The entire morning, Lily kept giving me odd glances, seeming to suppress a laugh. I wondered what she was up to, but she kept me busy, first with the soccer and then she wanted to go swimming in the pool.

When Esme called us in for lunch at noon, I had forgotten about Lily's slightly weird behavior.

When we got inside, I noticed two suitcases by the front door.

"Who's going somewhere?" I wondered, taking a bite of a cheeseburger.

"We are," Bella replied casually.

"What do you mean?" I looked closer at the suitcases. Sure thing, the one on the left was mine and the other one Bella's. "Where are we going?"

"You'll find out when we get there," she just told me, focusing her attention on her food. "But we need to get going soon."

I gave her a suspicious look, but she avoided my eyes. I finally understood the odd way Lily had acted all morning, and turned my attention to her.

"And you knew about this, of course," I stated matter-of-factly.

She started giggling and only nodded in response.

I should have known she'd had a secret; you could always tell since she looked all excited, like she wanted to tell you something. If I'd realized that's what was going on, I could probably have convinced her to tell me…

"Mom said not to say anything," she informed me.

"Did she now?" I shot Bella another look, and could see a smile on her face.

"And I'm going camping!" Lily continued excitedly. "With uncle Jasper and uncle Emmett and grandpa Charlie!"

"Oh really?" I glared at Emmett. "So everyone's in on this?"

"Pretty much, bro," he replied, shrugging. "Bella wanted it to be a surprise."

"I'm actually a little impressed," I admitted. "That no-one's slipped up, I mean."

"Me, too, actually," Bella agreed. "Really appreciate it, everyone."

I finished eating in silence, wondering what she was up to. The suitcases indicated that we would be spending the night somewhere else, but other than that, I had nothing to go on.

"You ready to go?" Bella wondered when I had swallowed the last of my cheeseburger.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"Nice try." She got up from the table and I followed her lead.

Everyone walked us to the car.

"OK, you be good to your uncles, all right?" Bella gave Lily a big hug. "If they tell you you have to do something, you listen!"

"I promise."

When Bella had released Lily, I gave her a hug as well, lifting her off the ground.

"Have a good time camping," I said, then lowered my voice. "Where are we going?"

"Nuh-uh, I'm not telling you," she whispered back.

"Fine." I put her down. "I guess we'll see you guys tomorrow?" I shot Bella a questioning glance, but she just smiled secretively. "Oh, come on! You can't give me that much?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Just get in the car."

I obliged, after saying goodbye to Esme, Emmett, Jasper and Alice. They all waved as Bella drove away from the house and down the drive towards the highway.

"You don't want me to drive?" I wondered after a moment. Bella usually preferred to let me drive, at least when we were going far.

"You don't know where we're going," she pointed out.

"I was hoping that maybe we could fix that little detail."

"Not going to happen." She smirked. "And if you don't behave, I'll blindfold you."

"Is that a promise or a threat?" I wagged my eyebrows at her, and she laughed.

"I suppose I could save it until later," she agreed.

"I like the sound of that." An entire night away, just the two of us… "Can you at least tell me how long the drive will take?" I'd be able to at least rule out certain places if I knew how far we were going.

"You don't give up, do you?" was her only reply, her eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead.

We were on the one-oh-one by now, heading south. I quickly ran through possible destinations in my head. There were a couple of hotels around Lake Quinault, and some along the Pacific shore south of the Quinault Indian Reservation, but really not much when it came to towns until you got down to Pacific Beach, Copalis Beach and Ocean Shores. Unless she continued down until we got to Hoquiam or Aberdeen. The possibilities were really endless. She could continue all the way back to Seattle, if she wanted to.

"Seriously, you know I don't like surprises."

"Neither do I," she reminded me. "That's never seemed to stop you."

I groaned and decided to give up. It was clear that she had no intention of telling me where we were going until we actually got there. I turned the radio on, but couldn't find a decent station, so I rummaged through the glove compartment until I found _Hello Hurricane_ and put it in the CD player.

**Bella**

We had gotten about halfway down the drive when Edward spoke.

"You don't want me to drive?" he asked casually.

"You don't know where we're going," I replied. Did he really think he could fool me that easily?

"I was hoping that maybe we could fix that little detail."

Of course he was.

"Not going to happen. And if you don't behave, I'll blindfold you." I had thought about that, but decided against it. It wasn't very nice to let him ride for over two hours with something covering his eyes. But if he didn't stop trying to make me give away where we were going, I might change my mind.

"Is that a promise or a threat?"

I had to laugh at his suggestive expression.

"I suppose I could save it until later." Hmm… interesting idea.

"I like the sound of that." He paused. "Can you at least tell me how long the drive will take?"

Oh, no. He'd have no problem figuring out where we were going if I told him that.

"You don't give up, do you?" I kept my eyes on the road, avoiding the pleading look I knew would be in his eyes. I wasn't always able to resist it, and I was not going to let my inability to deny him anything ruin the surprise.

"Seriously, you know I don't like surprises," he almost whined after a moment.

"Neither do I," I pointed out. "That's never seemed to stop you."

He finally gave up, turning on the radio and then putting a CD in the stereo. _Needle and Haystack Life_ sounded through the speakers.

"OK, I guess we're not going camping," he joked when I passed the turnoff to Bogachiel State Park.

"Camping isn't exactly my idea of a romantic weekend," I replied dryly. "That would include running water and an actual bed."

"Ah, now you've given it away!" he exclaimed. "We're going somewhere with a bed!"

I rolled my eyes, ignoring him.

"I'm going to figure it out, you know," he continued after a moment.

"I highly doubt that."

We drove in silence for a while.

"Are we going to Kalaloch Lodge?" he wondered when we followed the highway into the Olympic National Park. I didn't say anything. "Or I guess we could go camping here."

"For the last time, we're not going camping!" Was he trying to annoy me until I gave it away?

"Lake Quinault, then?"

"You might as well stop guessing," I said. "You're not going to get it right, and even if you did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Aha, we are going to Lake Quinault!"

I let him believe that.

When I pulled into an empty space in the parking lot outside Quinault Beach Resort and Casino, he had finally stopped guessing. He gave me a wary look when I turned the engine off.

"We're actually here?" he asked, sounding a little suspicious.

"Yes, we are," I replied. "Did you think I would keep driving until we got home?"

"I was starting to suspect it."

I sighed.

"Come on, let's go."

I got out of the car and opened the trunk, getting my suitcase.

"I'll take that." He appeared by my side, taking the bag from me and grabbing his own. "Lead the way."

We entered the lobby, where a man in his thirties with one of the most fake-looking smiles I had ever seen stood behind the reception desk.

"Hello and welcome to Quinault Beach Resort and Casino," he said, smiling impossibly wider. "What can I do for you?"

"We have a reservation," I told him. "Cullen."

He turned his attention to a computer screen and clicked on something.

"There we are." He put two electronic key cards on the desk. "You're in one of our grand suites, 3215, on the top floor. Dinner is served between five and nine tonight, and five and eight tomorrow, breakfast between eight and noon both tomorrow and Sunday, and lunch between noon and two o'clock. All meals are served in Emily's Restaurant and are included in your weekend package. Now, would you like to make reservations for your spa treatments right away?"

I felt a little overwhelmed by all the information, but hopefully there would be a folder or something in the room.

"Is there some sort of menu we could look at first?" I asked.

"Certainly. There is a menu of all our spa treatments in your suite. Just look it over and you can call down when you want to make a reservation."

"Thank you." I took the key cards and smiled politely at the receptionist before heading towards the elevators, Edward next to me with our bags.

"He was friendly, wasn't he?" he commented, and I had to suppress a laugh.

"A little _too_ friendly."

I pressed the button for the top floor when we got into the elevator, and it zoomed upwards. When we got out, there was a sign directing us towards the suite. I slid one of the key cards in the slot and opened the door, letting Edward pass me with the suitcases.

"Wow," I mumbled when I stepped into the suite; the curtains were pulled to the side and the view from the balcony was amazing. I walked across the living room and opened the sliding door.

"This is incredible," Edward said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "When did you plan this?"

"I actually got a gift certificate from Michelle a couple of weeks ago," I told him. "But things were… a bit weird then." I felt him tense a little behind me and then squeeze me tighter. "So I stuffed it in my bedside table and sort of forgot about it. Then I found it when I was packing last week, and thought I'd give it a try. I think we were lucky that they weren't booked."

"I think you're right," he agreed.

"Let's look at that spa menu Mr. Friendly was talking about." I slipped out of his arms and went back into the suite, where I found what I was looking for on the desk. I took it with me and sat down on the couch.

"Spa treatment?" Edward questioned, sitting down next to me.

"Don't worry." I giggled. "I'm sure they have something very manly for you."

He shot me a suspicious look.

"Oh, come on," I coaxed. "It's really nice, and it's good for you. Helps you relax, undoes all the tight muscles in your back."

"Fine," he agreed, sounding less reluctant than I expected.

"And look, we can get a 'Together Menu'." I pointed at the words. "And we can get the 'Body Balance Massage', that way you can decide what you want them to focus on."

"Sounds great."

I had a feeling he was really just going along with whatever I wanted, but since I was positive he would actually enjoy the massage, I decided to disregard that for the time being. I called down to the front desk and made the reservation for tomorrow at two in the afternoon.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked when I had hung up the phone. "It's only a little after three, dinner won't be served for another two hours."

"Oh, there are a few things I can think of," he murmured. He pulled the hair away from my neck and placed a kiss behind my ear. It was very, _very_ tempting to let him continue, but I managed to pull away.

"There will be plenty of time for that later," I told him, smiling at the disappointed look on his face. "Let's go outside for a while, the weather is amazing."

He looked at me through narrowed eyes for a moment, probably calculating how good the odds were that I would give in if he persisted. I tried to put on a stern face so as not to give away that he wouldn't have to work very hard to convince me to spend the rest of the day in bed.

"OK, fine," he agreed, getting up off the couch. "Let me just change out of these."

He pulled off the shorts he was wearing; I hadn't given him a chance to change before we left the house, and he was still wearing the clothes he'd had on when he played soccer with Lily and Noah this morning. He turned his back on me and pulled off the t-shirt as well, and I realized that this was his last attempt at persuasion. And very tempting it was. But I had more self control than that. Besides, we'd have all night… and all day tomorrow, if the weather forecast promising rain was correct.

So I pushed the flash of desire away and went to my own suitcase where I dug around until I found a pair of shorts and a tank top which I put on. I heard him pull in a deep breath behind me and smiled to myself. Two could play this game.

We went down to the beach, which was full of tourists and locals, enjoying the beautiful weather. I took my flip-flops off and splashed through the shallow water. It wasn't very warm.

"Come on!" I called to Edward, who had stopped a few feet away and was watching me with a smile on his face.

He followed my lead, taking off his shoes, before joining me at the water's edge. He surprised me by lifting me into the air and swinging me around.

"I love you, you know that?" he mumbled in my ear before putting me back down. The sudden sincerity in his eyes almost made me blush.

"I love you too," I replied quietly, standing on my tip-toes so that I could kiss him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss.

After a moment, we became aware of whistling and howling coming from further down the beach. I pulled away to find a group of teenage boys – who had been throwing a football between them a moment ago – staring at us.

"I think we've given the locals enough of a show for today, don't you?" Edward noted in an amused voice, looking in the same direction.

"I totally agree."

I grabbed him by the hand and we walked along the beach, past sunbathing teenagers, playing kids and some daredevils who had gone into the water. Life guards on the beach were keeping a close eye on them; the rip currents around here could be deadly.

After a few minutes, the crowd began to get a little thinner, and after we rounded a couple of dunes we were almost alone on the part of the beach that stretched out in front of us. I could see another couple about sixty yards away, walking in the same direction as us, but other than that, the beach was deserted.

"Come on," Edward said, pulling me along away from the water to a large piece of driftwood, almost an entire trunk of a tree. He sat down with his back to it and motioned for me to do the same.

"No way," I objected. "I'll get sand everywhere."

"Maybe you shouldn't have put on such short shorts," he pointed out. But he shifted so that he was sitting Indian style and pulled me down in his lap.

"Much better." I sighed and leaned against him.

"Yes," he agreed. "And don't get me wrong, I like the shorts."

"Oh, I have no doubt." I giggled.

"I would show you just how much, but this isn't exactly the most secluded of places."

I felt a thrill in the pit of my stomach at his words.

"Later," I reminded him.

We sat in silence for a while, watching the ocean.

"It's really beautiful here," I noted.

"I would say 'not as beautiful as you' but you'd just slap me and call me cheesy."

I laughed.

"You're probably right," I admitted. "But I like the sentiment."

**Edward**

We stayed on the beach until Bella's stomach started to rumble. I chuckled and checked my watch; it was almost seven.

"Time for dinner?" I suggested.

"Sounds like a good idea," she agreed, getting up. I got to my feet as well and took her hand before following the beach back towards the hotel.

We went up to the suite to change before going back down to the restaurant. An attentive waiter showed us to a table by the panoramic windows overlooking the sea and gave us menus.

"Everything looks amazing," Bella commented after a moment.

"It really does."

After a few minutes, the waiter returned to take our drink orders.

"Are we indulging ourselves tonight?" I wondered, looking at the wine menu.

"Why not?" she replied with a smile.

"Have you decided on what you are going to eat?" the waiter wondered. "You might want to do that before deciding on a wine."

"I'll have the salmon, please," Bella said, closing her menu.

"I think I'll go with that, too."

"Very well, then I would recommend the Cobblestone Chardonnay from Napa Valley, it is delicious with the salmon."

"Then we'll take a bottle of that." I handed him the menu.

"Remind me to thank Michelle when I go back to work," Bella said when he had disappeared. "This feels like exactly what we need."

I completely agreed with that.

"No work-talk now, though." I reached across the table and took her hand. "Tonight is just about you and me. Nothing else."

"I think I can go along with that."

The waiter reappeared at that moment, a wine bottle in his hands.

"Here we go, sir." He uncorked the bottle and poured some into my wineglass. I tasted it.

"That's perfect."

He poured some more wine into my glass and then filled Bella's as well.

"To you," I said, raising my glass when the waiter had left. "For this weekend."

"To us," she corrected, clinking her glass with mine.

"To us."

xxxxx

The patter of rain on the window was the first thing I heard when I woke up the following morning. We had drawn the curtains last night, so I couldn't see out the window, but it was no doubt raining.

"Morning," Bella mumbled sleepily next to me.

"Morning," I replied, kissing the top of her head. "It sounds like the weather has turned on us."

"It does," she agreed, not sounding too disappointed. "Whatever will we do?"

In response, my stomach growled.

"I guess we're starting with breakfast," she concluded smilingly.

"I think I remember seeing something about room service…" I pulled her closer. "I have no intention of getting out of this bed until I absolutely have to."

"I guess that leaves me to get the room service menu." She pushed the cover aside and got up. I followed her naked body intently with my eyes as she left the room and then came back, crawling under the covers again. "Here we go."

We perused the menu for a moment.

"I want pancakes," Bella announced, grabbing the phone from the bedside table. "You?"

"Toast and some bacon and eggs."

She called in our order.

"The food will be here in a moment," she said when she had hung up.

"A moment?" I repeated disappointedly. "I was hoping it would take a little longer, actually."

She laughed.

"You can't keep it in your pants for half an hour?"

"Not technically wearing any pants," I pointed out, moving so I was hovering above her. "So that might be a little… hard."

She laughed again at my pun, but stopped abruptly when I covered her lips with mine. I felt her arms sneak up around my neck and lowered myself until our bodies were skin to skin. Hers was soft and warm against mine, and I heard her breathing become faster and shallower.

I slid one hand down her side, and smiled against her lips when she inhaled sharply. I continued down her hip, her thigh, to the hollow behind her knee. I pulled her leg up, and she automatically pressed herself closer to me.

And there was a knock on the door.

We both froze.

"Breakfast," Bella said, a little breathlessly, pulling herself together.

"Right." I had almost managed to forget about that. I rolled off her and took a couple of deep breaths.

"I'll get it," she said, pulling on a robe that was hanging on the door. She wrapped it tightly around herself before leaving the room.

I heard her exchange a few words with whoever had brought the food, and then the door closed. I pulled myself up, so that I was leaning against the headboard when she came back into the room. She had a large tray in her hands.

"This looks delicious," she said, setting the tray down on the bed before climbing in next to me.

It really did.

We ate until we were both more than full, and there was still food left. I was finishing the last of my orange juice when Bella got out of the bed.

"Be right back," she told me before disappearing into the bathroom.

I heard the water turn on and frowned. Was she taking a shower?

"What are you doing?" I called.

"Just give me a minute!"

I gave her three, then I pulled on the other robe and went and knocked on the door.

"You OK in there?"

I didn't get an answer, so I opened the slide door.

She was sitting on the counter between the two sinks. The hot tub in the corner was filled with water, and there were lit candles around it. She had dimmed the lights so apart from the candle light, the room was almost dark. She had taken off the robe and was wearing nothing but a big smile.

"I thought we could christen the hot tub," she said, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

I took the few necessary steps to her and kissed her hungrily. Her response was immediate, her legs wrapped around my waist and her arms around my neck to pull me closer. I leaned against the counter, letting one hand travel up her back, tangling in her hair. I gently tugged her head back, allowing me access to her throat. A quiet moan escaped her when I trailed kisses down it, continuing across her collar bone, down her chest… I pulled her right nipple into my mouth, and her moan became louder. Her body arched against mine, her fingers knotting in my hair to keep my head in place.

I kept my attention on her right breast for a moment, then moved to the left to repeat the actions. She was breathing raggedly, her head lolling back, by the time I pulled her lips back to mine.

"What'd you put that on for?" she complained breathlessly when I broke the kiss for a breather, tugging at the robe. She quickly undid the knot and pushed the robe off my shoulders. I willingly threw it aside before pulling her closer again, my hands trailing down her back to her bottom.

She scooted forward on the counter, wrapping her legs more tightly around my waist, and pulled me down for an eager kiss. I kissed her back, feeling her warmth and wetness against me. She pushed her hips forward, and I froze.

"Wait," I mumbled against her lips. "We need…"

She was one step ahead of me. I heard the sound of the foil wrapper being torn open and then her warm hand was around me, rolling the condom on. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip against the wonderful feeling.

Her hands disappeared, and I concentrated on breathing for a moment. I didn't want this to end too soon.

She didn't move, as if she wanted to give me a moment. When I opened my eyes, hers were watching me, a small smile on her lips. I pulled her to the edge of the counter and then eased myself into her heat, slowly, inch by inch. When I was completely enveloped in her, I leaned my forehead against hers. Our breathings were synchronized, and I knew that if I had been able to hear our heartbeats, they would have been too.

After a moment, she reached up to kiss me, and I started moving.

I doubted that I would ever get used to this. I didn't want to, either. The feeling of her tight, warm, wet around me was something I wanted to experience as if it was for the first time every single time we were together.

I started out slow, wanting to draw it out as long as possible, and she moved with me. Our lips stayed fused together, our hands exploring each other's bodies. After an immeasurable moment, she pulled her lips from mine and looked up at me.

"Hot tub, remember?"

I glanced over at the tub, calculating how good the odds were that I'd make it into it carrying her. They weren't good.

"I think I prefer not breaking any bones, thank you." She giggled, having understood my line of thought. She unwrapped her legs from around my waist and I reluctantly stepped back, pulling out of her. "Come on." She jumped down from the counter, wobbling a little. I grabbed her, making sure she wouldn't fall, and then let her lead me to the hot tub.

The water was nice and warm, and she must have added some sort of bath oil, because a pleasant smell emanated from the water. I stepped after her into the tub and let her push me down, the water surrounding me. When I was seated, she knelt down, one leg on either side of mine, and guided me into her again.

She was warmer than the water around us, her muscles tight around me. She set the pace this time, starting to move slowly at first, then faster. I vaguely registered that her movement sent the water splashing over the edges of the tub and that the entire bathroom would probably get soaked, but didn't care much at the moment.

I pulled her face down to mine and kissed her, hard but slowly. My hands settled on her hips, pressing her harder against me. After some time, I wasn't sure how long, she pulled away from the kiss and bit her lip, her eyes closed. I let one hand trail around to her stomach and lower. When I pressed down on her most sensitive spot, I felt her muscles start to clench around me. Her movements became faster, more erratic, and then she froze, her head falling forward onto my shoulder. Her breathing, which was already uneven, became ragged.

The convulsions of her orgasm pulled me along over the edge with her, and for a moment, that was all I could focus on.

I heard her uneven breathing in my ear when I started coming around again, and wrapped my arms tightly around her.

"I think I like this hot tub," I mumbled against the skin on her neck, and she laughed weakly.

"I wonder why."

**AN: There, some lemon for you! First time I wrote a sex scene from "the other side", hope it was OK.**


	14. 14 Back to Reality

**AN: Hey guys, another chapter for you, I hope you like it! Let me know…**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them.**

**14 – Back to Reality**

**Bella**

I had to really make an effort to lift myself up on one elbow and glance at the clock on the bedside table. One forty-two. How on earth had the morning gone by so quickly?

"We really should get up," I concluded, sinking back down with my head on Edward's chest. I made no move to actually get up. I was much too comfortable exactly where I was at the moment.

"Why? I'm perfectly fine right here." His right hand was making patterns on my back, his touch feather light, and it was making it very difficult to remember exactly _why_ we actually couldn't stay right where we were for the rest of the day… and night. We had spent the entire morning in bed, only getting up when it was absolutely necessary; trips to the bathroom, opening the door for room service at lunch.

"It's almost one forty-five, and we have appointments for massages in less than twenty minutes," I reminded him.

"Cancel it," he suggested, rolling over onto his side and pushing me down on the bed. His lips started wandering down my neck…

"No!" I pulled away from him, so as to be able to keep my resolve. "Come on, we can get out of bed for one hour today, right?"

He didn't look at all pleased with that idea. And I couldn't really say that I didn't agree with him, on one level. But we had made the appointments, and I was looking forward to the massage. Besides, we'd be back in the room soon, with all afternoon, all night and the entire morning tomorrow left for… other activities. It wasn't like we were sixteen anymore, we were in control of our hormones… right? Just to be on the safe side, I averted my thoughts from the more vivid images of exactly what we could do with that time…

"Let's go."

I sat up and rummaged through my suitcase until I found a pair of clean underwear which I pulled on, followed by a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. It said in the brochure that the spa facilities provided robes there. When I was done, Edward still hadn't moved an inch. He was just lying there, watching me through slightly narrowed eyes. His hair was rumpled by the pillows, and the sheet was just barely covering the more… distracting parts of him. It took all the self control I had – and then some – not to crawl back into bed again.

"You're supposed to be there fifteen minutes before the scheduled appointment," I told him, ignoring the desire I couldn't completely suppress. "Come on, please!"

He sighed, but got up, throwing on some clothes.

"Fine," he agreed, sounding less reluctant than I had expected.

He followed me, if a little grudgingly, out the door and into the elevator. When the doors closed behind us, he pushed me up against the wall and kissed my neck.

"You do know that if you keep that up, we'll never get out of this elevator?" I mumbled.

"That was sort of the idea," he murmured back, his breath hot against my skin.

"You know that, normally, I wouldn't mind… at all." With more willpower than I thought I had, I pushed him away from me. The disappointed look in his eyes almost made me laugh. "But there are, most likely, cameras in here."

He glanced up at the ceiling of the elevator, and I followed his example. I was not surprised to find a small, blinking light in one of the corners.

"I'm sure someone would be happy to get a free show," he said with a smirk. I slapped him on the arm.

"I have no doubt about that."

Luckily, we were on the first floor by now, and the doors opened with a 'ding'. Edward groaned a little, and I smiled as I pulled him with me out into the lobby. We quickly found the spa facilities.

"Hello and welcome," a young woman standing behind a desk greeted us. "Would you like to make an appointment, or do you already have one?"

"We already have one, at two o'clock," I told her. "A together menu, with body balance massages. I'm sorry we're a little late." I tried very hard not to blush when I said this.

She waved off my apology with one hand while looking at the screen in front of her.

"Don't worry about it." She clicked something and then looked up at us again. "Yes, here we are. The changing rooms are right through there." She indicated a door to the left. "There are robes that you can change into and slippers in there. When you're done, you can take a seat in the relaxation room and your massage therapists will be out to get you in a moment."

"Thank you," I said with a smile and pulled Edward along through the door. On the other side, there was a large room with comfortable looking armchairs, candles and soft music in the background. To the left there was a door with a sign saying 'Women' on it and to the right one with 'Men'.

"I guess this is where we go our separate ways," Edward noted.

I gave him a quick kiss before opening the door to the ladies' changing room.

"See you in a bit."

xxxxx

"It's so beautiful here," I mumbled.

"It is," Edward agreed quietly.

I looked up at him and found that his eyes were focused on the darkening waves of the ocean below us. In the dim light coming from our room, I could just make out his features.

The sky had cleared in time for us to be able to watch the sunset. We had brought some of the big pillows from the couch out onto the balcony and curled up under a blanket. The last rays had just disappeared behind the horizon, and the sky and sea were quickly getting darker. It was also getting colder. I shivered a little under the blanket, and felt Edward's arms tighten around me.

"I honestly can't remember the last time I was this relaxed," he admitted.

"Aren't you glad I forced you to get the massage?" I replied, sounding only a little smug. I had known that he would enjoy it in the end, despite the fact that he had complained a little before.

"I am, thank you." I felt his lips against my temple. "It's too bad we have to go back tomorrow."

"Yeah." I sighed. "But we can't escape from reality for much longer. Besides, don't you want to hear all about Lily's camping trip? I bet she'll be all excited to tell us about it."

"That's true," he replied. I felt him shift next to me, and then saw a light that I realized was coming from the display of his cell phone. "Where were they going?"

"The same place you went to last time, I think."

"No service then," he concluded, sounding a little disappointed, and put the phone back in his pocket.

"I must say, I'm a little impressed that you haven't tried calling them yet," I said, only half joking. Edward was usually the one who would suggest calling to check on Lily whenever we left her with a babysitter. And he had never been away from her for this long before. In the beginning, before we got back together, he had seen her every day, and after that, he had only been away for a day at most, when he'd had to fly down to Los Angeles to meet with clients.

"Well, you have kept me a little distracted." His mouth was close to my ear, and his breath sent shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling. _I_ was keeping _him_ distracted?

"Have I now?" I mumbled.

"Mmm-hmm." His lips moved down to my neck, and my mind quickly became muddled.

"Maybe we should take this inside?" I managed to suggest before all rational thought went out the window… or down the balcony. Before I had a chance to react, he swept me up in his arms and slid the balcony door aside.

**Edward**

We spent Sunday morning strolling around the beach again; the sun had decided to grace us with its presence and the air was almost warm. We passed several other couples, probably enjoying the last hours of the weekend away, just like us.

"I was thinking we could have lunch before driving back," Bella suggested.

"That sounds good. When do we have to check out of the room?" I asked.

"By noon." She glanced down at her watch. "We should probably head back, pack up and get ready to go."

I checked my watch as well; it was a little after eleven. It was a little annoying to suddenly have to worry about time again. Apart from the massage appointments yesterday, we hadn't really bothered with that during the weekend.

"That's probably a good idea," I agreed.

We slowly made our way back to the hotel. Packing didn't really take long, and when we were done, we went downstairs and checked out before putting our suitcases into the trunk of the car and going back inside for lunch.

The drive back home seemed to go by much faster than the drive to the hotel on Friday had. I wasn't sure if this was because I was no longer trying to figure out where we were going, or if it was because we were going home this time.

We were back at the house by three in the afternoon and were greeted by Esme, Rosalie and Alice. Carlisle was at the hospital and the happy campers hadn't gotten back yet.

"They're probably taking advantage of the nice weather," Esme pointed out after welcoming us back. "They can't have been able to do much yesterday, since it was raining all day."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella blush a little at the mention of the weather the previous day. Luckily, neither Alice nor Rosalie seemed to pick up on this.

"Was the hotel nice?" Rosalie wondered, changing the subject, and Bella happily dove into a detailed description of the hotel and Ocean Shores. By the time she finished, we heard a car pull up outside.

"They're back," I noted, unnecessarily, and got up from the couch where we had been sitting. I always hated being away from Lily for any amount of time – and I never had been away from her for this long before – and even if I had enjoyed the weekend away with Bella, I now realized that I had missed my little girl something terrible. I didn't want to wait the extra minute it would take them to get into the house before I could give her a hug.

I got out on the porch just as she jumped out of the backseat of the car.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed happily, and I felt my heart get a little warmer.

"Hey there, princess," I greeted her back. I held out my arms for her, and she jumped into them. "Did you have a good time camping?" I hugged her a little extra before putting her back down on the ground.

"We had a lot of fun!" she told me, pulling me along up the porch steps and into the house. "We went fishing, and hiking, and made a bonfire. But uncle Emmett told scary stories, so I had nightmares." She frowned a little at that.

I shot a glare at Emmett over my shoulder, but he just grinned in response.

"Did you catch any fish?" I asked Lily instead, ignoring my brother.

"No." She pouted a little, but a smile quickly appeared on her face again. "But grandpa Charlie caught one this big!" She held out her arms as wide as they would go, indicating the size of the fish.

"That's a bit of an exaggeration, kid," Emmett interjected, indicating about five inches between his thumb and index finger. "It was really only this big."

"Nuh-uh." Lily shook her head vigorously. "It was really big!"

"What was really big, baby?" Bella wondered from the couch.

"The fish grandpa caught," Lily replied, climbing onto the couch next to Bella. "Hi mommy, I missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetie." Bella put her arms around Lily and hugged her tightly. "Did you have fun?"

"Lots of fun."

xxxxx

After its brief appearance on Sunday, the sun decided to take some time off. We spent the last week in Forks inside, mostly playing either video games or board games, while the rain poured down outside. By Friday, it had rained so much that the river was in danger of overflowing, and it showed no sign of stopping.

"I don't like you driving in this weather," Esme complained, frowning at the downpour through the living room window on Sunday. "What if you get in an accident?"

"Don't worry, mom," I tried to assure her. "We'll take it slow. We're in no hurry, anyway."

"It'll be fine, Esme," Bella chimed in, coming down the stairs with Lily's bag. "It's still early, there won't be much traffic. We'll crawl all the way to Seattle if we have to."

"I know, but still…" Esme threw another worried glance out the window.

"If it gets worse, we'll stop somewhere," I told her.

"Good." She let out a sigh. "I know I nag, but it's just because I worry."

"I know, mom."

"We should get going," Bella noted, and I nodded.

"Where's Lily?" I glanced around the room, but she was nowhere in sight. I could have sworn she had been there just a minute ago.

"I think she's upstairs with Alice and Jasper," Bella said, taking a step towards the stairs. "Lily? We have to go now!"

Rushed steps were heard from the second floor and a moment later, Lily appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Let's go!" She hopped down the stairs, excited to get going. She was looking forward to Renée and Phil coming to stay for a while, since we hadn't seen them since her birthday in May.

"OK, drive safe." Esme pulled me into a hug, and I hugged her back.

"Don't worry, mom," I repeated. "We will."

"And call when you get home!" she instructed, hugging Bella as well.

"First thing," Bella assured her.

"Come here, my little angel!" Esme held her arms out to Lily, who hugged her grandmother around the waist tightly. "Have a great time with your grandma Renée, and I will see you soon!"

"Bye grandma."

"OK, get going." Esme let go of Lily and shoed us out the door.

"Bye, guys!" Alice called, coming down the stairs, Jasper behind her. Carlisle was working, so we had said goodbye to him before he left for the hospital this morning.

"Say hi to your mom and Phil from us," Jasper said.

"Sure thing," Bella told him. "You're welcome to stop by for dinner sometime this week if you want, just call first."

Jasper was going back to work on Monday, so he and Alice were driving down to Seattle later today.

"We'll do that." He frowned at the rain. "And drive safe, this weather isn't the best to be on the roads in."

I threw him an exasperated look and then glanced over at Esme, who looked even more worried.

"Don't worry, mom, we'll be careful," I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the house.

Bella put Lily's bag in the trunk of the car, where the rest of our things were already packed, and then she got in the passenger seat next to me. I started the car and we waved to our family, who had stayed on the porch to avoid the rain, before heading down the drive to the highway.

"When are grandma Renée and uncle Phil coming?" Lily asked when we had been on the road for a while.

"Tomorrow, you know that," Bella reminded her.

"I wish they were coming tonight," she complained.

"Tonight we're going to aunt Angela and uncle Ben to look at photos from their trip," I said. "I thought you were looking forward to that?"

"Right, I forgot."

I glanced at her in the rearview mirror, and she looked a little happier at the prospect. She was rummaging around in her backpack, finally finding the movie she was looking for. A moment later, I heard _Up_ start on the portable DVD-player.

We drove mostly in silence. Lily was watching her movie in the backseat, I was focusing on the road and the pelting rain and Bella was gazing out the window, her head against my shoulder, seemingly lost in thought.

"You OK?" I asked her quietly after about an hour.

She blinked and looked up at me.

"It just feels like this vacation is going by way too fast," she complained. "I'm practically halfway through it already."

"But we still have two weeks left," I tried to cheer her up.

"I know." She sighed. "I guess it was nice to get away from the city, from everyday life, for a while. And now that we're going back… I don't know. There's been too much bad stuff lately." The last part was barely more than a whisper.

"I know." I wrapped the arm that was lying around her shoulders a little tighter around her. "But that's all behind us now, right? Things will get better."

"Yeah." She seemed to make an effort to pull herself out of the sudden gloom. "It's probably the weather that's gotten to me."

"Not much of a surprise," I muttered, glaring at the rain. "If it doesn't stop soon, we'll have to trade the Volvo in for a submarine or something."

Bella laughed at that, and I was relieved that I had managed to take her mind off things. It would do no good to dwell.

**Bella**

"Hey, guys, I've missed you!"

I was caught a little off guard when Angela threw her arms around me as soon as she opened the door to let us in. But she quickly let me go, lifting Lily off the floor and into a hug instead.

"Hi, Ben," I said, spotting him over Angela's shoulder. "You're not going with the emotional approach, are you?"

"I was thinking I'd leave that to Ang," he replied with a grin. "But it's good to see you guys. We've been stuck with a bunch of annoying Europeans for the past month. Nice to be back in the good old US of A."

"I pity you, man," Edward piped in sarcastically. "It must be horrible, travelling and seeing all those boring old sights, and weird, foreign people on top of that. I'm surprised you made it back in one piece."

"Oh, be quiet." Angela elbowed Ben in the ribs. "The people were amazing, they're all so friendly over there."

"Except for the French," Ben interjected, rolling his eyes.

"They were perfectly polite to me," Angela countered.

"That's because you speak French," Ben explained. "If you talk to them in English, forget about it."

"It wasn't that bad," Angela objected.

"OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little," Ben allowed. "But there were a few guys who weren't very nice."

"Like that guy with the paintings!" Angela started laughing and Ben joined her.

"Right, when he…"

"And then…"

"And with the…"

"OK, guys," I interrupted. "Not that listening to half-told private jokes aren't a lot of fun, but we came for some serious sightseeing photos. Since we can't go ourselves, we'll have to live vicariously through you."

"Right, sorry." Angela made an effort to stop laughing. "Come on, we've got everything set up on the TV."

We spent an hour watching pictures of different sights; the London Eye and Big Ben in London, la Sagrada Familia and la Rambla in Barcelona, the Prado Museum in Madrid, the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame in Paris, the Colosseum and the Vatican in Rome, what remained of the Berlin wall, the Parthenon and Acropolis in Athens and various pictures of small towns, villages and beautiful landscapes. It seemed like they had been everywhere.

"Wow," I said when the slide ended. "It must have been the most amazing trip."

"It really was," Angela replied, nodding.

"Which city did you like the most?" Lily wondered.

"Oh, God, there are so many to choose from." Angela contemplated the question for a moment. "I think I'd have to say London. Or maybe Dublin."

"How about you, Ben?" Edward asked.

"I'll have to agree with London, but I liked Barcelona more than Dublin," Ben concluded after thinking for a moment.

"I want to go to Barcelona too!" Lily exclaimed. "And Dublin, and London, and everywhere!"

"Then you'll have to do that when you're older," I told her.

"Really?" She looked at me with wide eyes. "I can?"

"Sure you can." I noticed the look Edward gave me and hurried to continue. "When you're grown up and have finished college." There really was nothing we could do if she decided to go off to Europe then. And she should experience life a little, see the world. Even if I dreaded the thought of her halfway around the globe, I still wanted that for her.

"That's soooo far away," she complained, pouting.

"But there'll be a lot of fun things along the way," I told her. "School is starting again soon, you're looking forward to that, right?"

She nodded.

"And next year I'll be a fifth grader, and then after that I'll be in middle school!" She smiled as she thought of that. I, however, had to struggle to keep the smile on my face. She was growing up so fast.

"That's right." I ruffled her hair. "So, you see, there's no need to rush to get older, when there's so much fun to be had on the way."

Childhood didn't last nearly long enough. I wanted my little girl to make the most of it before she had to go out into the big, scary world on her own. I would never regret the decision to keep Lily, but sometimes I regretted having to grow up so early. I'd had a great time at college, but I knew that there were things I had missed because I'd had Lily to think about.

"So," Angela said, changing the subject. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"That sounds like a good idea, since we haven't been to the store yet and our fridge contains nothing but air at the moment," Edward replied.

"Yeah, that sounds great, Ang," I agreed.

"Good." She got up off the couch. "How about we leave the cooking to the men and shorty and you and I take a walk? It's not raining anymore, and I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages."

I glanced out the window to make sure she was right. It had indeed stopped raining, and it even looked like the sun might make an appearance before it sunk below the horizon. Quite an improvement after the last week.

"I'm all for avoiding cooking." I got up as well, following Angela into the hallway.

"And what would the ladies like to eat?" Ben asked.

"I trust you, honey," Angela told him with a smile before opening the door.

"We'll be back in time for dinner," I called over my shoulder before closing the door behind us.

When we got out onto the street, Angela looped her arm with mine and started walking in the direction of Gilman Playground.

"So, are you enjoying your vacation so far?" she wondered after a moment.

"Yeah, it's been pretty good." I frowned up at the clouds that had not completely given in to the sun. "Apart from the rain this past week."

"I know, it's really been pouring down," Angela noted. "It's like the weather is trying to make up for the few sunny days we got in June or something."

"But it is supposed to get a little better next week." I had checked out the weather report online as soon as we got home. "I sure hope they're right, it would suck if it rains for two weeks straight when Renée and Phil are here. Mom already hates Washington enough, no need to add to that by proving that the weather actually _is_ as bad as she thinks it is."

"They're coming tomorrow?"

"Yeah, at around noon. I know Lily will want to go to the zoo, and the aquarium, and tons of other places. Not so much fun if it won't stop raining."

"I think you're the one who won't think it's much fun if it's raining," Angela pointed out with a laugh. "I mean, Lily usually doesn't really care about insignificant details like getting soaked."

"I guess you're right," I agreed.

"Are you planning to do anything special while they're here?" she asked.

"Not really." I shrugged. "Just some family time, you know. We'll probably stay here, just take day trips to different places."

"Yeah. I just thought that you and Edward might take the opportunity of live-in babysitters to maybe get away for a couple of days."

"We already did, actually," I replied with a smile, remembering our weekend in Ocean Shores. "I got a gift certificate for a weekend at Quinault Beach Resort and Casino from Michelle, so we went there last weekend."

"That sounds really nice."

"It was. We got a great room, with a balcony overlooking the sea, and a Jacuzzi." I blushed a little at the memory.

"OK, I'm not going to ask what you did in the Jacuzzi," Angela said, noticing my blush.

"And we had a couples massage," I continued, pretending to not have heard her. "It was amazing."

We had gotten to the playground by now and sat down on two swings. We were alone there; it was a little after six, and though it had stopped raining, it was still a little chilly. I shoved my hands into the pockets on my thin jacket.

"I guess you could use some time alone together," Angela noted after a moment, and I looked up at her. "I talked to Alice."

"Oh." I nodded. "I guess I should have known."

"She only told me because she didn't know if you would want to talk about it, and she was afraid that if I didn't know, I'd say something that would upset you," she quickly continued. "She was just trying to help."

"I know, it's OK." It was OK. To be perfectly honest, I was a little relieved that Angela knew, and that I hadn't had to tell her.

"So how are you holding up?" she wondered. "Both of you."

"It's getting better," I replied truthfully. "I mean, it still hurts to think about it, I don't think that will ever go away. I don't know if I want it to, I mean, I don't want to… forget, you know? But it gets a little easier every day."

"Good." She reached over and squeezed my hand.

"I mean, at first…" I trailed off, staring into space for a moment. "How much did Alice tell you?"

"Just that, you know, it happened. Nothing else." She shot me an almost angry look. "And why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to ruin your holiday." I shrugged.

"Oh, honey, you shouldn't have thought like that," she gently chastised me. "You're my best friend, I feel horrible that I wasn't there for you when I could have been."

"No, Ang, don't think like that," I objected. "It was my choice not to call you, don't blame yourself for that. I know that you would have come if I had called."

She didn't say anything, just sat holding my hand, waiting for me to continue.

"At first…" I picked up where I had left off. "I guess you could say that we sort of had a misunderstanding. I thought that Edward blamed me for what happened, and he thought that I was mad at him because he wasn't there… it was hard. We barely talked to each other for two weeks."

"That must have been horrible," she mumbled quietly.

"It was." I nodded, my eyes fixed on the ground. "I was so scared that we wouldn't be able to get through it, that it would… destroy our relationship completely."

"But you got past that?"

"Yeah." I smiled a little. "Thanks to Alice. She drove down two weeks ago, she knew something was wrong."

"You can always count on Alice," Angela noted.

"I know," I agreed. "I honestly don't know where we would be today if it wasn't for her. Anyway, after that, when we could talk about it… it got a little easier. I think we were able to get through the grieving process better together."

"It usually helps to talk about difficult stuff."

"It did. It does." I sighed. "And then Rosalie…"

"Right, Alice told me about that too," she interrupted. "Not that I'm not happy for them, but could they have worse timing?"

I laughed at that.

"I know, that's what I thought at first too."

"But not now?" She sounded a little surprised.

"I don't know." I bit my lip, trying to figure out how to explain it. "I think that maybe it's a good thing. I mean, if Rosalie hadn't been pregnant right now, I wouldn't have had to deal with that, and maybe I would have been able to avoid all the mixed emotions that I'm experiencing right now, and then that would have hit me later. Maybe I would have convinced myself that I was really fine with it when I actually wasn't, that I was ready to move on, and it would have been much harder next time."

"You're going to try again?" Angela wondered, and I nodded.

"Doctor Wallace said that we have to wait for at least three months, but, yeah. We're going to try again."

"Good. I'm glad that you're not too scared to give it another go."

"Oh, trust me, I'm scared senseless," I admitted. I hadn't said this out loud before, not even to Edward. I was worried that if he knew how much trying to get pregnant again frightened me, he would refuse. "But I know that, if it does work, in the end it'll be worth it."

"It will work," she said with conviction. "I'm sure of it."

"Thanks, Ang." I squeezed her hand. "For being supportive."

"That's what I'm here for."

We sat in silence for a while, swinging a little back and forth.

"I'm actually glad that Alice told me, though," Angela said after a moment. "I might have put my foot in my mouth if she hadn't."

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, turning to face her. "You're pregnant!"

I felt a surge of joy, quickly followed by a stab of pain. But I would not let her know that.

"No, no," she quickly continued. "No, I'm not. But we've… started talking about it."

"Really?" I was honestly a little surprised that this hadn't happened before. She and Ben had been together for almost ten years now, after all, and engaged for two. I didn't think that Angela was one to wait for marriage, but maybe I was wrong.

"Yeah." A small smile was spreading on her lips. "Not right now, but maybe next year. There are rumors going around Ben's office that he's up for a big promotion, one of his bosses are retiring next summer, so we'll see then. It would be nice if he could get a pay rise before, since my job's only on a freelance basis and not exactly what you'd call stable."

"You are going to be the world's greatest mom," I told her sincerely.

"Well, that spot's already taken, but I'll settle for second best."

**AN: Some personal preferences in this chapter; London, Dublin and Barcelona are my very favorite cities in Europe. And I hope I haven't insulted any French people out there. I'm not anti-France in any way, and I don't really have much experience with the country myself, but I have friends who have been there and who have had trouble since they don't speak French. I'm sure not everyone's like that! I just thought it would make a nice anecdote in the story.**


	15. 15 Gratitude

**AN: Here's another chapter for you guys. I hope you like it!!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, none of it. **

**15 – Gratitude **

**Bella**

"Grandma! Uncle Phil!" Lily exclaimed as soon as she spotted them in the crowd at the airport. She started jumping up and down and waving over her head to catch their attention, and they quickly made their way over.

"Oh, sweetheart, I've missed you!" Renée wrapped Lily in a hug and lifted her off the floor.

"Hi, Phil, was the flight OK?" I asked, turning to my stepdad. I knew my mom would be busy with Lily for a while.

"It was good," he replied, giving me a hug. "It's good to be here."

"Good to have you," Edward said. "This one hasn't been able to stop talking about it for weeks." He nodded at Lily.

"Neither has that one," Phil responded with an affectionate smile at Renée. "Hey there, shrimp, got a hug for your uncle Phil?" For some reason, Phil had picked up Jake's nickname for Lily.

"I'm not done yet," Renée told him, squeezing Lily tighter.

"That might take a while," Phil noted, and Edward and I laughed.

"So, how's the team doing?" I asked conversationally. The team that Phil was coaching had had some trouble during the last season.

"We just closed the deal on a great player that we've been trying to sign for a while, so I'm optimistic about the future," Phil said. "If we can just avoid too many injuries the coming season, I think we can go pretty far."

"OK, when he starts going on about work, it's time to go," Renée said, putting Lily down on. "Hi, honey."

"Hi, mom." I returned the hug she gave me, realizing that I had missed her more than I thought.

When all the hugs and greetings were out of the way, we left the arrival hall and loaded the luggage in the trunk of the Volvo before piling into the car.

"So, what's on the agenda while we're here?" Renée wondered when we pulled out of the parking lot.

"We haven't really made any definite plans," I replied. "The schedule is pretty open. Whatever you guys feel like."

"Well, I know someone who'll want to go to the zoo," she said, winking at Lily.

"Can we go tomorrow?" An excited smile spread on Lily's face.

"I think I saw something about a family day at the zoo tomorrow, it'll be packed with tourists," Edward pointed out. "Maybe Tuesday would be better."

"OK," Lily grudgingly agreed, pouting a little.

"Maybe you can show grandma and uncle Phil your new game tomorrow?" I suggested.

"Great, let her humiliate someone else at that game for a change," Edward mumbled next to me, forcing me to suppress a giggle. He really didn't like that game.

"And then we can play baseball again, too," Lily grinned evilly at Phil. "I totally beat you last time!"

"Beat me?" He put on an incredulous face. "I have no memory of that. I think you might be a little confused." He touched her forehead and frowned for a moment. "Yep, definitely got a fever. I think you're hallucinating."

"Am not!" Lily objected, laughing.

They continued to banter the entire way home. I leaned back in the passenger seat and watched them in the rearview mirror, smiling.

xxxxx

We went to the zoo on Tuesday, and then to the aquarium on Wednesday; surprisingly enough, the weather cooperated and the sky was a clear blue with only a few clouds. On Thursday, I got downstairs to find Lily and Phil playing tennis on the Wii and Renée nursing a cup of tea on the couch. The rain was pouring down outside.

"Looks like it'll be a stay in all day kind of day today," I noted, sitting down next to her.

"Or…" she started, turning to me. "You up for some shopping?"

"I do actually need some stuff," I replied. "And Lily is in desperate need of new sneakers, she grows like you wouldn't believe."

"You want to go shopping with me and your mom?" Renée asked Lily.

"No," Lily replied, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"If you don't come with us, you'll have to wear the shoes I buy you anyway," I pointed out.

"I want the pink ones with the stars on them," she told me matter-of-factly.

"Do you now?"

She must have heard that I was teasing her, because she paused the game and turned to me, puppy eyes in place.

"Please, mommy? Please, please, please can I have them?"

"Oh, fine," I surrendered. It was very difficult to say no to her when she played that card.

"Yay!" She excitedly returned to the game.

"Anyone hungry?" Edward's voice came from the kitchen.

"Me!" Lily called. "Can we have pancakes, daddy?"

Edward hesitated for a moment, glancing at me, and I nodded discretely, giving him the go-ahead. It was summer, after all.

"Sure thing, princess." He got a bowl from one of the cupboards and opened the fridge. "Anyone else want pancakes?"

"Sure, sounds great," Renée agreed.

"I'll have some too, thanks," Phil piped in.

I got up and went into the kitchen to help him out.

"Renée wants to go shopping," I told him. "You don't mind entertaining Phil for a while, do you? He'll most likely be preoccupied with playing with Lily."

"No, that's fine, you go have some girl time with your mom," he assured me.

"You want a hand with that?" I wondered, nodding at the bowl.

"Why don't you set the table?" he suggested. "I've got this under control."

We worked in comfortable silence; I set the table and made some toast while he finished the pancakes. When everything was done, we called the others into the kitchen to eat.

After breakfast, I went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. When I got back downstairs, Renée was waiting.

We went to Northgate Mall, the same mall I had been to with Alice what felt like ages ago. I hadn't been there since, and when we walked through Macy's, I felt a pang of pain. They were fewer and farther between now, but every now and then, something would remind me.

"Hey, you OK?" Renée asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I realized we had gotten into the mall. "You look about a thousand miles away."

"I'm fine," I told her with a small smile.

"What's going on?" she pressed on. I should have known I wouldn't be able to fool her.

"It's that obvious, huh?" I sighed. We had stopped in front of a bench, and I sat down.

"No," she replied. "I just know you too well. So, spill. Is something going on between the two of you? Is there someone else in the picture?"

"What?" I was surprised at the direction her thoughts had gone. "No, why would you think that?"

"I've just noticed that you've been acting a little differently around each other." She shrugged. "I guess I just figured that something was going on, and that was what came to mind."

"No, no, we're fine," I assured her. "At least in the way you're talking about."

"Then what's going on?"

I hesitated for a moment. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk about it, I had gotten past that. But I knew how disappointed Renée would be, and I was afraid that that would make it harder for me again.

I wasn't sure where to start, so I decided to go with what she would inevitably find out. Emmett and Rosalie were coming over for dinner tomorrow.

"Rose is pregnant," I revealed.

"That's great." She seemed a little confused. "Why are you telling me? Aren't they coming over tomorrow?"

"That's exactly why I'm telling you now," I continued. "I wanted to avoid the inevitable follow-up question in front of Lily."

"And what question would that be?"

"Why we're not…" I trailed off.

"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "Did something happen?"

I nodded.

"We… lost a baby. About a month and a half ago."

It took her a moment to digest the information. Then she wrapped an arm around me and I gratefully leaned my head against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she mumbled. "I have no idea what that must have been like, but I can imagine."

"It's been hard," I said, wiping away a couple of tears. "We're getting through it, though. But you can see why I didn't want this brought up when Lily's around."

"Of course not." She rubbed my back in a soothing motion. It felt nice to not have to be in control for a little while, to crawl up in my mom's arms and be little for just a moment. "You let me know if there's anything I can do, or if you want to talk, promise?"

I nodded.

"I promise."

We sat like that for a couple of minutes, and then I took a deep breath and pulled away.

"OK, let's go." I got up from the bench. "We've got some serious shopping to do."

**Edward**

We went to every tourist attraction within a ten mile radius of Seattle during the two weeks that Renée and Phil spent with us. On Saturday, we drove up to Forks for the weekend. We spent the day on the beach in La Push and then we had dinner with the entire family; my parents, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, Charlie and Sue. Not even the huge dining table was big enough to seat all of us, and some had to sit at the bar counter and eat. We stayed at the house over night; there were enough bedrooms for all of us.

On Sunday, Carlisle and Esme were – without their knowledge, of course – going down to Seattle with us to catch a flight to Puerto Rico, where they were boarding the cruise ship they would spend the following week on.

So when we were about to leave, I gave Alice a pointed look and she disappeared up the stairs. Yesterday, she had enlisted the help of Lily to get our parents out of the house so she could pack for them without them noticing. She returned a moment later with one suitcase in either hand.

"OK, off you go," she said with a smile to Carlisle and Esme, who were saying goodbye to Renée and Phil by the front door.

"I'm sorry?" Carlisle replied in a confused voice.

"You're riding back to Seattle with Renée and Phil, so chop-chop."

I had to suppress a smile, and saw that Alice did the same, when Carlisle and Esme looked at each other in confusion.

"What is this all about?" Esme asked after a moment.

"Well, someone's celebrating their twenty-fifth anniversary on Wednesday, so we all got together and thought we'd get you something special," I explained, ignoring Alice's annoyed expression. They'd find out soon enough anyway.

"Oh, I can't believe it!" Esme exclaimed, clamping a hand over her mouth. "What are you up to?"

"You'll see soon," I promised her.

It was a good thing that they weren't riding in our car. Despite Alice's strict directions to not give anything away until we got to the airport, where I would have to give them their tickets, I knew I wouldn't have been able to resist Esme's questions for long. As it was, they were kept in the dark until we walked them to the check-in counter at SeaTac.

"Puerto Rico?" Carlisle said in an incredulous voice, and I finally handed him their tickets.

"Oh my goodness!" Esme exclaimed when she saw them. "We're going on a cruise?"

"Happy anniversary, mom," I said, giving her a big hug. "You two really deserve it."

xxxxx

All too soon, the two weeks draw to an end and Renée and Phil went back to Florida again. Saying goodbye was an emotional event, as usual, especially for Bella, Renée and Lily. The fact that we were going down for Thanksgiving, which we had these past two years, helped a little.

Bella went back to work, and then Lily started school again, leaving me home alone. A couple of days later, I got a call from a producer I had worked with a few times before, asking if I was interested in composing music for his new movie.

"I'm home!" Bella called, slamming the door shut.

"Dinner, kitchen!" I called back, and a moment later, she appeared in the doorway.

"Hey," she greeted me.

"Hi," I replied, pulling her in for a kiss before she sat down. "How was your day?"

"Pretty good." She looked around the room. "Where's Lily?"

"Donna asked if she wanted to stay for dinner there, and I didn't think you'd mind," I explained.

"Of course not."

"So, I got a call from Eric Miles today," I said, putting the vegetables on the table and sitting down.

"He's got a new movie in the making?"

"Yeah, and he was wondering if I wanted to do the music."

"That's good, right?" she wondered. "I mean, you like working with him."

"Yeah, I do." I nodded. "He wanted me to fly down next week, look at the script and talk through some ideas with him. I won't have to stay overnight."

"That's great, and don't worry," she told me. "If you have to stay, you have to. We're fine for a couple of days."

"I'll fly back in the afternoon," I insisted. Unless it was absolutely essential, I wouldn't stay there longer than I had to. I always felt uneasy going to LA. I wasn't sure if it was because of what had happened when we had lived there, but that was probably at least part of it. Being that close to temptation felt unsafe. Not that I would ever be stupid enough to go down that road again, but still. And the added anxiety of being away from Bella and Lily didn't exactly help. I knew that that anxiety was irrational, but that did little to ease it.

I booked a flight the next day, and the following Tuesday, I took a taxi to the airport at an ungodly hour. My flight was leaving at six A.M. and I would be landing at half past eight. The flight back to Seattle was leaving at six thirty in the afternoon, so I would have more than enough time to meet with Eric.

I was used to flying by now, having made this trip a dozen or so times in the past two years, and I managed to sleep almost the whole flight. I was woken up when the flight attendant asked me to put on my seat belt for landing.

Even at nine in the morning, the California sun was scorching. Grateful that Bella had reminded me to bring my sunglasses, I put these on, pulled off my jacket and stuffed it into my carryon bag, and left the airport. It was like walking into a sauna.

After some digging around in my bag, I found my cell phone and turned it on. The display told me that I had a new message, so after sending a text message to Bella, telling her I had landed, I checked the voicemail where Eric's voice greeted me.

"_Hey, man, sorry but I've been held up at the site, I won't be able to make it into the studio until eleven or so. Go get some breakfast or something on us, you must be hungry, and I'll call when I'm on my way back."_

Great. But I was actually really hungry; I hadn't been able to eat anything at home, only downed some coffee before going to the airport, and some breakfast sounded good. I got a cab right outside the arrival hall, and got in.

"Where to?"

"West Hollywood, you can just drop me on Santa Monica somewhere close to a coffee shop," I said, and the car quickly joined the hectic traffic around LAX.

"This good?" the cab driver wondered an hour later, having pulled into the curb right by a Starbucks.

"Yeah, it's fine." I handed the cabbie some money and got out of the car.

The Starbucks was crowded, though, so I decided to see if I could find another place. Besides, I wasn't exactly in the mood for coffee and a muffin; I wanted real breakfast.

A couple of blocks away, I came across a café which wasn't completely swamped and that had a big breakfast menu out front. I went inside, ordered an omelet, pancakes and a plate of French toast along with some more coffee, and then sat down at one of the tables outside. Someone had left a paper on the table next to mine, and I flipped through it absentmindedly while I waited for my food.

"Edward?"

I looked up automatically at the sound of my name, and found myself staring into the face of a man I would have recognized anywhere, despite the fact that I had only met him two times over a decade ago.

"Mr. Petrov?"

Really, what were the odds?

"I thought that was you," he said, a small smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. "How are things?"

"Good, they're good," I replied. "Do you want to…?" I gestured to the chair across from mine.

"No, no, I'm on my way to a meeting." He checked his watch. "I just saw you here and wanted to say hi, I guess. You're back in Los Angeles then?"

"No, I'm just in town for business, I'm leaving tonight," I told him.

"Right, I suppose that would make sense." He fumbled with the cuff on his suit, and looked down on the ground as he spoke.

"How's Tanya?" I asked, not really sure I wanted to know the answer. What if she was right here? Would I be able to handle seeing her? I wanted to say yes, but the truth was that I had never been forced to deal with that, with facing her after what had happened. "She still in town?"

"No, no…" He shook his head, and I could tell from the look on his face where this was going. I wanted to ask him not to say anything, so that I could pretend not to know. I didn't want to know. "She's… you got out in time. She didn't."

"She's… gone?" I could barely make myself say the word out loud.

Despite what he had just said about being on the way to a meeting, he slumped down in the chair.

"I should have seen what was going on after what happened, of course." He gave me a pleading look. "I mean, I talked to your parents, but somehow, I managed to convince myself that _you_ were the problem, not her. I didn't even confront her about it. I just figured that things would get better, with you out of the picture. I'm sorry I made assumptions."

I didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue. It looked like he needed to get this off his chest. Also, I was a little too shocked to form a complete sentence.

"So nothing changed." He sighed. "I kept up the business trips, and I still gave her whatever she asked for when I was home. Mostly money, as you can imagine."

He ran a hand over his face, and suddenly looked ten years older. I could only imagine the guilt he must be feeling, despite the fact that it wasn't his fault. Well, of course he'd had some part in it, but in the end, it had been her choice. Just like it had been mine. The difference was that I'd had a family who were willing to do whatever it took to get me out of it. She hadn't.

"I was in Tokyo, some big, important deal, I can't even remember what it was, about six months after you… left town. She called, in the middle of a meeting, but I rejected the call. If I hadn't… I don't know." He paused for a moment. "The next morning, the maid called to say that Tanya hadn't come home the previous night. That wasn't anything out of the ordinary, so I didn't really think much of it. I called her cell, which was turned off, but that wasn't unusual either. When she didn't come home that night, however, I started worrying." His eyes were on me, but he looked right through me, a thousand miles away, no doubt reliving that time. "When she hadn't been home in two days, I called the cops. They filed a missing persons report, but there wasn't much they could do. I was on the plane home when they called to say they had found her, so I got the news from a message on my voicemail. Some junkie friend had dumped her outside USC University Hospital, but she had already been dead for at least three days. There was nothing to do."

When he had finished speaking, he leaned his elbows against the table and buried his face in his hands. I felt like I should say something, but I had no idea what.

Mixed emotions were running through me; on the one hand, it hurt to find out that she was gone. I hadn't loved her for a long time, maybe never, not really, but still… On the other hand, I felt relief and gratitude so strong that it was almost overwhelming. Relief that it hadn't been me, which could so easily have been the case, and gratitude to my parents and brother and sister for doing what they had done back then to get me out of this city of death. If they hadn't, I wouldn't be here today, I had no doubt about that. I would never have met Bella, I wouldn't have Lily. The relief and gratitude outweighed the pain by far, and that made some guilt creep in there as well.

The rattle of plates alerted me to the waitress approaching the table, and I looked up in time to see her put down my food in front of me. She shot Mr. Petrov a worried look, and I tried to smile reassuringly. I wasn't sure if she bought it, but she left.

"I'm sorry, I'm ruining your breakfast," Mr. Petrov apologized.

"No, it's fine," I assured him. "I'm… maybe this sounds weird, but I'm glad that you told me."

He nodded, a little absentmindedly.

"I'm sorry," he then said. "For what she did, what she pulled you into. I realize that it wasn't your fault, that she was the one who…"

"Don't think about that," I interrupted him. That was no way to remember your daughter, your only child, no matter how true it might have been.

"At least you managed to get out."

"Yeah." I didn't add that it had been my parents who had made that possible. No need to rub his guilt in even more, he was probably very good at doing that himself.

"You moved up north, Washington somewhere, right?" I could hear the relief in his voice as he changed the subject.

"Yeah, this hole-in-the-wall place on the Olympic Peninsula, Forks."

"Right, right." He nodded to himself. "Do you still live there?"

"No, Seattle actually," I replied.

"That's a nice city."

"We like it."

"Married? Kids?"

I wasn't sure if this was some way for him to get a glimpse of the future his daughter might have had if things hadn't gone the way they had, but I found no harm in going along with it.

"Yeah, I got married about a year ago." I pulled out my wallet and flipped it open to the picture of Bella and Lily I always kept in there. "And Lily's eight."

"They're beautiful." If he was surprised at Lily's age, he didn't show it. "And you're in town for business? What do you do?"

"I write music, mostly for movies."

"Any I might have seen?"

I mentioned some of the more popular movies which I had composed music to, and he looked a little impressed.

"Well," he said, looking at his watch again. "I'm late for my meeting, and I'm keeping you from your breakfast." He got up. "I'm glad to see that you've made a good life for yourself."

"It was good to see you, sir."

"Oh, none of that sir business," he objected. "Anyway… I wish you and your family everything you might ever want, and give your parents my best."

"I will."

"Good."

He patted me awkwardly on the shoulder, and then left.

I stared after him for a long time, long after he had disappeared down the street.

Somewhere deep down, I had probably known all along. You couldn't keep going the way Tanya had without it coming back to bite you eventually. Sure, I had hoped that she had seen the light in time to get out, but I hadn't really believed that. This had really only been a confirmation.

I found myself wishing I had asked Mr. Petrov where she was buried. I would have liked to go there, to say something… I wasn't completely sure what.

I averted my eyes from the direction the older man had disappeared and stared at the Hollywood Sign, barely visible through the smog. I remembered that Tanya had liked to climb onto the roof of her house at night and look at the lit sign in the distance.

"I hope you're better off, wherever you are," I murmured under my breath. "That you've found the happiness and peace that you never found in life."

After a while, I wasn't sure how long, I was interrupted in my musings by my cell phone. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that it was Eric calling.

"Hey man," I answered.

"_Hi, sorry, I couldn't get away when I thought, but I'm on my way back now, I should be at the studio in twenty minutes or something."_

I glanced at my watch and was surprised when I saw that it was fifteen minutes past eleven.

"That's fine, I got some breakfast while I waited." I looked at the food in front of me as I spoke. I hadn't touched it, and it didn't look very appetizing now.

"_Great. So I'll see you at the studio soon?"_

"Yeah, see you in a bit."

I hung up the phone and left the café, my food untouched on the plate. I stopped at a hot dog stand on the way to the studio and bought two hotdogs with everything on. They took away the worst of the hunger. I knew Eric would take me out to lunch soon, so I resisted the urge to get two more.

Not in a hurry, I strolled down the streets slowly, taking in all the familiar sights. We had lived in Beverly Hills, not far from here, and after school we had often gone down here, hung out at the different malls. On the weekends, we used to sneak into some of the many clubs that were not uncommon in the area. West Hollywood had been completely different from our own neighborhood – at least to high school kids who were used to being surrounded by the wealthy and famous.

I sighed to myself. Usually, I avoided walking down memory lane when I was here, but seeing Mr. Petrov had brought back memories. And they weren't all bad; we'd had some good times here.

I was relieved when I got to the gates keeping unwanted visitors out from the movie studio. I didn't want to dwell on the past anymore.

**Bella**

I flinched when my phone chirped, having been deeply concentrated on the computer screen in front of me. I picked up the phone and opened the message.

_Just landed. Flight was fine. Hot as ****. Miss you, love you, see you tonight– E _

I laughed a little to myself. It was already over seventy-five degrees here, and it wasn't even nine yet; I could only imagine the sweltering heat of Los Angeles.

I focused back on the work in front of me. I had a meeting with a client on Monday, and was finishing up the presentation. I still had three days to work on it, but I hated leaving things to the last minute.

After only a minute, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hi!"_

"Hi, Rose, what's up?"

"_Are you very busy at work?"_ she wondered.

"Not really, why?"

"_Well, Alice and I are having a girls' afternoon, we're going to lunch and then doing some shopping, and I thought that you might want to come."_

I contemplated that for a moment. I was pretty sure that Michelle wouldn't object if I took the afternoon off; I would be done with the presentation by then, and I still had three days to fine-tune it. But shopping with Rosalie and Alice would most likely mean shopping for baby stuff. My mind instinctively shied away from that thought, from the stab of pain I was sure it would induce, but at the same time, I was excited to get to be involved with Rose's pregnancy. I wanted to be a part of that. So I decided to just jump right in, take the pain this would cause and hope that it would be better next time. There was no way to work through this without actually exposing myself to it, right?

"Sure, where do you want to meet?"

If she had noticed that I hesitated just a few seconds too long, Rosalie didn't mention it.

"_I was thinking University Village, they have my favorite maternity clothes store there."_ She paused for a moment. _"God, Bella, I'm sorry. You don't have to come with us, I totally understand."_

"No, I want to come," I insisted. Her mentioning maternity clothes hadn't been nearly as painful as I had thought. Maybe it would be easier than I expected. "I told you that I want to be involved with this, and that means everything. Don't worry about something you say or do hurting my feelings."

"_Are you sure?"_ she pressed on. _"Because I would really understand if you want to… keep a safe distance from me."_

I had to laugh at her choice of words.

"Now, how would I be able to keep a safe distance from one of my best friends?" I questioned, and she laughed as well.

"_I guess you have a point,"_ she admitted. _"But promise me to let me know if it gets to be too much, and we'll do something else."_

"I promise."

"_OK, good. Then we'll see you at… one OK for you?"_

"That will be great."

Lily had a half-day in school today, but was going home with Catie, and if I called Donna, I had no doubt that she could stay for dinner. It would be nice not to have to rush.

"_See you then."_

"Bye."

I finished up the presentation in a couple of hours, and a little before noon, I went to look for Michelle. I found her in her office.

"Hey there," she greeted me when I had knocked on the door. "How's the presentation going? You done yet?"

"Actually, yes," I replied. "I just finished it. I mean, I'll look it over a couple more times before the meeting on Monday, but all in all, I'm done."

"Why am I not surprised?" she wondered with a smile. "Was there something else you wanted to talk about?"

"I was actually wondering if I could take the rest of the day off?"

"Sure, you've earned it. You're not working on anything else, are you?"

"No, not right now."

"Then go, have fun." She smiled at me. "Anything special on the agenda?"

"Shopping with my sisters-in-law," I told her.

"Ah, a traditional girls' afternoon."

"Hopefully not too traditional," I said dryly. "Alice can go a little over the top if you don't keep an eye on her."

"Sounds like my little sister," Michelle noted with a laugh. "She was always the girly one in the family."

"Then you can imagine what putting up with Alice can be like."

"I wish you the best of luck."

"I might need it."

I rolled my eyes before leaving the room, and heard Michelle laugh behind me.

I was only half serious. I loved spending time with Rosalie and Alice.

I stopped by the house before going to the mall, changing out of my office-clothes and into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The sun was still beaming down on the city and the temperature was closing in on eighty. This summer really had been the sunniest on the Olympic Peninsula in many years.

I got to the mall a little early, and made my way to the food court. I sat down at a table at Delfino's Pizzeria and sent a text message to Alice, letting them know where I was.

After ten minutes, I spotted Alice and Rosalie and waved them over to my table.

"You managed to break free, then?" Alice assumed.

"I tied some sheet together and climbed out the window," I replied sarcastically. "It was touch and go there for a while, but I managed to get away."

"Funny!" Alice stuck her tongue out at me.

The waiter came over to take our orders then.

"Shouldn't you be at work too, though?" I wondered, turning to Rosalie when he was gone.

"My boss is out of town, so everyone was taking the afternoon off," she told me, shrugging. "And Miss 'I've got half-days every other week' over here is of course always ready to jump at any opportunity to go shopping."

"You were the one who said that you needed to get some new clothes soon," Alice pointed out.

"That's true," she admitted. "If this time around is anything like when I was pregnant with Noah, I'll blow up sometime in the next month."

"Really?" I questioned, giving her the once over. There was no way you could tell that she was pregnant. "You can't tell at all."

"I know, but it was the same last time." She leaned back in the chair and sighed. "Halfway through, there was no way to see, and then boom! In only a couple of days, I looked like a beached whale."

"You did not," Alice objected. "But I remember the explosion." She giggled.

"Thank you," Rosalie said dryly, glaring at Alice through narrowed eyes.

"So we're hunting for maternity clothes today, then?" I asked as the waiter brought our food over, trying to avert an argument. I was not in the mood to spend the afternoon with Alice and Rosalie if they were going to be fighting.

"That's the first priority," Rosalie confirmed, taking a bite of her pizza.

"You don't have any left from last time?" I wondered.

"Oh, God no!" she exclaimed. "I threw everything out as soon as I could fit in my regular clothes."

"Oh." I had saved most of the clothes I'd gotten when I was pregnant with Lily. But then again, Rosalie very seldom wore the same thing twice when it came to regular clothes, so I supposed I shouldn't be surprised.

We continued to chat about different things while we finished lunch, and then Rosalie dragged us along to Village Maternity. Alice and I watched as Rosalie sifted through the clothes on sale, not bothering to try anything on, since it would be much too big at the moment anyway.

After a while, she started piling clothes into mine and Alice's arms, and I began to wonder how much she had planned on buying.

"OK, I think that's it," she said after half an hour. I could barely see over the top of the pile of clothes in my arms, and Alice had just as much in hers. "Come on, the register's over that way."

We trudged along behind her and put the clothes down at the register. The clerk looked at Rosalie with an expression that questioned her sanity, but Rose didn't seem to notice.

We brought the bags of clothes out to Rosalie's car before we returned to the mall for some more shopping. It was after six when we finally left again, saying goodbye in the parking lot. I got in the car and drove towards Donna's place. Maybe I could join them for dinner as well.

As I drove down the street with David Gray's _Kathleen_ in the speakers, I realized that I had made it. I had survived baby shopping with Rosalie. There had been a couple of moments in the GAP Kids store where I had felt a lump in my throat, but I had expected much worse. I'd done it.

I drove the rest of the way with a smile on my lips.


	16. 16 A Delayed Birthday Present

**AN: Hey guys, got another chapter for you! I know what most of you are waiting for, and we'll get there, I promise. But I didn't want to just skip ahead a few months, I wanted to follow them through the grief process and the life after that. Let me know what you think of the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Didn't get them for my birthday last week either, so nope, still not mine!**

**16 – A Delayed Birthday Present**

**Bella**

I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, when Edward came home from the airport that night. It was almost ten o'clock, and Lily had just fallen asleep upstairs.

"Hey," I called when I heard the front door close. "How was the trip?"

He didn't answer right away, and after a moment, I looked up to see him in the doorway.

"Hey," he said quietly, a look I couldn't quite decipher on his face. He walked into the room and sat down next to me on the couch, wrapping an arm around me and pulling my head onto his shoulder before he buried his face in my hair.

"Is something wrong?" I asked after a moment.

"I'm just so grateful to be here, to have you and Lily," he mumbled.

"What happened?"

I felt him sigh, and waited for him to start.

"I ran into Tanya's dad in LA," he finally said.

"Oh," was all I could think to reply, not sure where he was going with this.

"She's dead." He paused. "She died… God, it was over ten years ago. She never got out."

"I'm sorry," I offered, wrapping my arms around him. "I know that must have been hard to hear."

"It was." He nodded. "But at the same time… I don't know, I guess I wasn't that surprised, really. I think I've known, deep down, that she wouldn't have been able to get away from it. She didn't have the necessary support to be able to do that."

"I can't imagine what it must be like for her dad." I shivered at the thought. "To know that your child is dead, and that you might have been able to do something to change that."

"It didn't look like he had managed to get over it. I don't think it's something that he'll ever get over."

"How could he? I mean, losing a child is one thing…" I cut myself of. We knew that only too well. "It's not something that you get over, and to know that you practically had a hand in it… to have to live with that…" I shook my head.

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to distract you?" I wondered.

"Yes, thank you," he mumbled, his lips touching the skin under my ear. I laughed and pulled away a little.

"I was actually thinking about telling you about my day, but we can try your way a little later."

"Oh, all right."

"I went shopping with Alice and Rosalie," I told him. "Rosalie bought almost the entire maternity store."

"That's Rose for you." I felt his eyes on me. "You know that you don't have to do this, pretend to be OK with all of this."

"But I think I am," I replied. "I mean, it was a little hard a couple of times. But it was also nice to get to be a part of it, to be involved. I think I might be able to get past the difficult stuff. And I think it's good to deal with this now, and not later when I'm hopefully all hormonal."

"Right…"

I could tell that he was about to argue, and decided that it was not a discussion I wanted to have right now. I got up from the couch and pulled him with me.

"Now come on." I reached up to kiss him. "Let's try your way!"

**Edward**

After my trip to Los Angeles, I started looking into the weekend in Mexico we had briefly discussed during the summer, deciding to go for a whole week instead. Meeting Tanya's dad and hearing about her death had triggered something, making me realize that you never knew how much time you had. Whether it was drugs, or a disease, or an accident – your days were always numbered, and at any time, that number could be up. You had to make the most of the time you had.

I browsed around the internet on my own at first, but then realized that the best thing would probably be to go to a travel agency and have them help me find what I was looking for; a nice hotel, close to the beach, with a kids club and focused on families.

I found an agency that seemed promising and went down there one day while Bella was at work and Lily in school. I wanted it to be a surprise.

"Hello and welcome," a man in his fifties greeted me when I entered the agency. "What can I do for you?"

"We want to go to Mexico for a week around the Columbus Day weekend, do you think there's anything still available?" It had occurred to me that I might be too late, and everything was booked already.

"Well, I'd have to say that that depends on the financial aspect," he told me, gesturing to the chair opposite his at the desk he was sitting at. I sat down. "Most of the cheaper hotels are already booked, at least during the weekend, but I might be able to find something if you're willing to spend a little more money."

"Money's not an issue," I said. "I want a nice hotel with a kids club and not too much night life around it. And close to the beach."

He gave me an odd look, and I realized that he had probably thought that I wanted to go down for a party weekend.

"How many people are we talking?" he asked, clicking away on a computer screen.

"Two adults and one child."

"How old is the child?"

"Eight."

He focused on the screen for a moment.

"OK, here we go. I have a hotel right by the beach, twenty minutes from the airport in Cancún. It has a kids club, the rooms are specially designed to suit families, and if you get the Gourmet Inclusive package, all meals, drinks and the kids club, among other things, are included." He turned the screen around to show me pictures of the hotel.

"It looks great," I said after a moment. The hotel itself looked nice enough, with a large pool, and the white beach and crystal clear water looked amazing.

"What kind of room are you interested in?"

"Two bedrooms, if that's possible." It would be nice to have a door to close between us and Lily.

"There are suites with two bedrooms, yes." He started clicking again. "I've got you a family suite on the top floor, overlooking the sea. Like I said, all meals are included; I'll print out the information about the different restaurants available at the hotel for you. If you do want to get a taste of the local cuisine, there are several restaurants with good prices close by."

"Great. And flights?" I wondered.

"There are no direct flights from SeaTac to Cancún, unfortunately." He turned the screen back and started clicking again. "You'll have to stop over in Dallas."

"That's fine."

"Are we talking a week from Saturday the sixth?"

"Yeah."

I would have to talk to Michelle and Lily's teacher so that Bella and Lily would get the week off, but I was sure it wouldn't be a problem.

"OK. There's a flight leaving at ten A.M., landing at five thirty." He looked up at me. "You would have to be at the airport at eight in the morning. Would that be good?"

"That's great."

"I'll book a flight back home in the afternoon on Sunday the fourteenth…" He clicked some more. "Will it be too late to land at SeaTac at nine thirty?"

I thought for a moment. It would be a little late for Lily, especially since it would no doubt take a while to get the luggage and then the ride home. But leaving earlier would mean missing a whole day down there.

"No, that works."

Hopefully, Lily would be able to sleep on the plane, she usually did.

"And you're all set." He clicked again, and a printer buzzed to life. We waited while it spat out a couple of pages. "Here we go."

He handed me the papers, and I looked them over, not completely sure what I was seeing.

"These are the flights." He pointed at the first page. "Leaving SeaTac on Saturday October sixth at ten A.M. and going back from Cancún on Sunday October fourteenth at two P.M., that's the reservation number right there. The hotel reservations are on the next page, and then the information about the hotel's restaurants and some other practical things. And the last page is the bill, everything you need to know is on there."

"Thank you." It felt nice to have everything ready. "By the way, do you know if you can get passports at SeaTac?" I knew that neither Bella nor Lily had passports, and it would take away the surprise if I had them get them before the trip.

"Yes, there is an Acceptance Facility at SeaTac where you can get passports, just remember to bring all the necessary paperwork with you, and photos. And you should probably be there a little earlier if you need to get passports."

I could do that.

I left the travel agency, the papers safely in my back pocket, and pulled my cell from my pocket. I'd better call Michelle right away, make sure that Bella could get the week off.

"_Morgan Advertising, how may I direct your call?"_

"I'd like to speak to Michelle, please."

"_Just a moment."_

I listened to the sound of the receptionist connecting my call, and then Michelle's voice came over the line.

"_Michelle Bouchard."_

"Michelle, hi, this is Edward Cullen."

"_Edward, hi. Did Melanie connect you wrong?"_

"No, no, I called to talk to you, actually," I hurried to say.

"_Oh. And to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"_

"I wanted to talk to you about Bella getting the week of Columbus Day off."

"_Might I ask why?" _she wondered curiously.

"I've booked a trip to Mexico, and I want it to be a surprise, so I thought I'd call you myself," I explained.

"_Ah, a romantic getaway."_

"No, a family vacation, actually."

"_I see. Well, of course I'll give her the week off."_ She paused. _"I assume you don't want me to say anything about this to Bella?"_

"I would appreciate it if you didn't."

"_Don't worry, your secret's safe with me,"_ she assured me.

"Thanks, Michelle."

"_Don't mention it."_

I ended the call, put the phone away again and headed down the street. I thought I'd might as well see if I could find a birthday present for Bella while I was downtown. The trip was going to be her actual present, but since I wasn't going to reveal that until we were leaving, I wanted to get her something else. Perhaps something to give her a hint about what was going to happen, but not enough to give it away.

Not completely sure what I was looking for, I browsed the display windows I passed. After fifteen minutes, I stopped in front of a store, spotting the perfect present. Since it was still very warm for September in Seattle, a lot of the stores still sold summer things, like sandals, shorts and – which was what I had just found – sunglasses. I remembered that Bella had complained that her favorite sunglasses had broken a couple of weeks ago.

I found a pair that looked a lot like the pair Bella used to have, and went inside to pay for them. Happy with my find, I then returned to the car and drove home.

**Bella**

The sound of music welcomed me when I opened the front door after a long day at work. I smiled to myself when I heard the musician hesitate for a moment, and then hit the wrong key. Lily was playing.

"No, not that one, listen." Edward played the melody once. "See?"

"I think I got it." She tried again, and this time it was perfect.

"Hey," I said, going into the living room. They were sitting on the piano bench, side by side.

"Guess what, mom?" Lily asked excitedly. "Dad's teaching me how to play _Fire Elise_."

"_Für Elise_," Edward corrected automatically, getting up from the bench. "Hey, how was work?" He gave me a quick kiss before going into the kitchen. I followed him, hearing how Lily started playing again behind me.

"Long." I sighed, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"New campaign?" He started rummaging through the fridge as he spoke.

"Yeah." I sighed. "They know exactly what they want, but of course that won't work. And it's my job to make them realize that, preferably without insulting them and making them chose another agency."

"Sounds like fun," he noted dryly.

"Oh, the funnest!" I shook my head. "This is one of those times when I totally envy you your job. How's that going, by the way? Any inspiration?"

I got up and started chopping the vegetables he had put on the counter while he put a frying pan on the stove.

"Actually, yes." He pulled a box of frozen hamburgers from the freezer. "Lily's been nagging ever since I picked her up from school," he explained.

"Fine by me."

"So, yeah, I've got a few ideas," he picked up the previous subject. "I think I've got one song down, and I've got started on a couple more. I've definitely got a feeling for the theme, and it feels pretty good."

"I'm glad." I had been a little worried after he got home from LA. He had seemed… kind of distant for a little while. I knew that wasn't odd, considering what he had found out while he was there. But it seemed like he had managed to get past it.

"I just sent Eric a sound file of the song today to see what he thinks, but I'm sure he'll like it."

"I'm positive he will."

"So, how does the last day being twenty-five feel?" he asked after a moment. The hamburgers were sizzling in the frying pan and I was setting the table.

"Ugh! Don't remind me." I had never obsessed about birthdays before, but it was just something about this one… I wasn't sure why. It wasn't like you were over the hill when you passed twenty-five these days.

"Starting to feel a little old, are we?" he teased, and I glared at him.

"You're older than me, in case you've forgotten," I reminded him.

"I'm a guy, it's different."

I made a face at that, and he laughed at me.

"Only joking," he assured me, giving me a kiss.

"You'd better be," I muttered.

He caught my hand and pulled me into his chest, wrapping an arm around me.

"You know I am."

"I know." I sighed. "I don't know why I feel all self-conscious all of a sudden, I've never cared about my age before."

"It's perfectly normal," he assured me. "I know she didn't let it show much, but Alice was freaking out big time before our birthday."

"Really?" I pulled away so I could look him in the eyes to see if he was lying to me.

"Really." There was nothing but truth in his eyes.

"Thanks. That actually makes me feel a little better." I wasn't sure why, but it did.

"Crisis over?"

"Crisis over."

xxxxx

I was woken up by sound coming from downstairs the following morning. I pulled the cover up to my chin and waited. When the sound of footsteps came up the stairs a little later, I closed my eyes and feigned sleep.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear mommy, Happy Birthday to you!"

Lily's voice was the loudest, and I held back a smile that would give me away. I heard the door open, and waited another couple of seconds before I opened my eyes.

"What's this?" I exclaimed when I saw Edward with a breakfast tray in his hands, Lily practically bouncing up and down in front of him, a wrapped present in her hands.

"Happy birthday mommy!" She climbed into the bed and handed me the gift. "I made this for you."

"Thank you, baby." I gave her a big hug and a kiss. "I wonder what it is."

I shook the small box, hearing nothing. I squeezed it, but that didn't give anything away either.

"Happy birthday," Edward said, setting the tray down on the bed before sitting down next to me.

"Thank you." I leaned in for a kiss, and he happily obliged.

"Cut it out!" Lily complained after a moment, and we laughingly pulled apart. "Open the present!" she ordered, and I obediently tore the wrapping paper off.

"Wow, this is so pretty!" I examined the picture frame; it was covered with shells of different colors and sizes. The picture inside was of the three of us at the beach in La Push.

"I made the frame in Arts," she said, pride evident in her voice.

"I love it, thank you baby!" I hugged her again.

"And we made you breakfast!" she happily exclaimed when I let her go.

"I see that." I accepted the mug with coffee that Edward offered me and took a sip. "Mmmm, heavenly."

All in all, it was a very nice start of my birthday.

xxxxx

"There's the birthday girl!" Michelle's voice greeted me when I entered the office. The nice wake-up call had faded a little, and I had gone back to not being too excited about getting older.

"Right, celebrating becoming a year older is totally great," I replied sarcastically.

"Oh no." She shook her head at me. "You don't get to start obsessing over your age until you hit thirty."

"Well, I'm closer to thirty than twenty," I said darkly.

"Now, now, none of that. Look at the bright side. If I know your husband right, you're in for some sort of nice surprise."

That was true. Edward had a tendency to go overboard on my birthdays. And at Christmas. It was the only time I didn't protest too wildly if he spoiled me with a day at the spa or an unexpected weekend in Florida with Renée. I had really gotten much better at accepting insanely expensive presents over the past couple of years – I hadn't had any choice.

"I guess you're right," I now grudgingly agreed. "I wonder what he's come up with this year?"

"I'm sure whatever it is, it'll be fabulous."

Something in her voice made me scrutinize her face. She was smiling a little, secretive smile.

"You know something!" I accused her.

Her eyebrows shot up, and a look so surprised that it almost fooled me spread on her face.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

She hurried down the hall to her office, but I was sure of what I'd seen. Whatever Edward was planning, Michelle was in on it.

My mind instantly started to wander away with me. Was he planning a trip of some kind? If he had talked to Michelle, that had to mean that I would need time off from work. Where could he be taking me?

The idea of the potential upcoming trip kept me distracted for the rest of the week, and I found it very hard to focus on my job.

Finally, Saturday arrived, and with it, the birthday party that Alice had insisted on throwing for me. I had objected when she first brought it up, but now I was so excited to find out what Edward was planning that I was actually looking forward to the party. My mind had gone through so many different scenarios all week that it felt completely jumbled and I had finally given up trying to figure it out.

"I hope you're not going to try to make a run for it," Edward warned when he saw me grab my car keys from the kitchen counter a little before noon.

"Tempting, but no," I told him, heading for the door. "I'll be back in plenty of time for the party. I've just got to run down to the office real quick, I managed to forget my cell phone there yesterday."

"Scatterbrain," he teased.

"Well, I've kind of been busy trying to figure out what you've gotten me for my birthday, so my mind has been otherwise engaged," I said.

"And have you had any luck with that?" He tried to sound nonchalant about it, but I thought I heard a hint of nervousness well hidden.

"I might," I replied cryptically before leaving the house.

Let him wonder about _that_ for a while.

**Edward**

I was still pondering what Bella had meant when she'd said that she might have figured out what I had planned for her birthday when the first guests arrived at five. Had I been reckless and left the papers where she could have seen them? I was pretty sure she wouldn't dig through my underwear drawer long enough to come across them, but you never knew.

When I opened the door for Alice and Jasper, I mentally decided to let it go. I would know whether or not Bella had figured it out when she opened her present later. If she looked disappointed when she saw the sunglasses, then she didn't have a clue. If she only smiled… well, then there was nothing I could do about that.

I had barely gotten back into the living room, where Alice was arranging hers and Jasper's present next to mine on the dining table, when the doorbell rang again. I went back to let Emmett, Rosalie and Noah in.

"Hi there," I greeted them.

"Don't say a word!" Rosalie warned me, holding up a finger as if she thought I was about to say something. I gave her the once over and realized why.

"Gotten past the twenty week mark, huh," I noted with a smirk. She punched me in the arm. "Ow!"

"Don't provoke it!" Emmett stage whispered, and Rosalie hit him as well. "She's got quite the right hook, let me tell you."

Rose ignored him, breezing past us into the living room. Well, not breezing so much as waddling. Emmett chuckled after her.

"Maybe you shouldn't tease her like that," I suggested. "I mean, Rosalie normally is one thing, Rosalie on hormones… she might take an axe to you."

"Nah, she knows I'm just messing with her," he disregarded.

"I'm not so sure that matters," I muttered to myself as the doorbell sounded again, and opened the door to let Jake, Vanessa, Angela and Ben in. "Hey guys."

When everyone had arrived, we gathered in the living room.

"Presents or cake first?" Alice wondered.

"Presents!" Bella announced, sitting down on one of the chairs by the pile of presents on the dining room table.

"Presents it is." Alice sat down next to me on the couch, pulling out a camera and snapping a picture of Bella opening the first present.

She saved mine until last, and when she finally tore the wrapping paper off, I held my breath. The flash of disappointment on her face was gone in an instant, but I caught it and smiled to myself. She had no idea.

"Sunglasses," she said with a fake smile on her face. "Thanks, I needed that, since mine broke at the zoo."

"I know, that's why I got them," I told her. "And I know how you hate it when I spend too much money on your presents."

"Right." She kept the smile on her face as she put the sunglasses back in the box and the box down on the table.

"So, cake?" I got up and went into the kitchen where I got the cake out of the fridge.

"I hope there's something more than just those sunglasses." I hadn't heard Alice following me, and her whisper made me jump.

"Of course there is," I whispered back. "We're going to Mexico for a week in October, but I want it to be a surprise."

"Ah, sneaky," she mumbled with an approving smile. "She hasn't got a clue."

"I know."

"And now you know that she actually does like it when you spend a lot of money on her presents."

I had to laugh a little at that. Then I lit the candles on the cake, and we went back into the living room.

**Bella**

I saved Edward's present until last, wanting to keep the suspense as long as possible. When I had opened all the other presents, I eagerly tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box.

"Sunglasses." I couldn't quite keep the disappointment from my voice. Sunglasses? "Thanks, I needed that, since mine broke at the zoo."

"I know, that's why I got them," Edward said with what I imagined a smug look on his face. "And I know how you hate it when I spend too much money on your presents."

Yes, I did hate that. OK, so maybe not _that_ much…

"Right." I tried to keep a smile on my face. I didn't want him to think I was disappointed in my present. And I did like the sunglasses. I put them back in the box and forced the corners of my lips to stay where they were.

"So, cake?"

I looked after him as he left the room, Alice close behind him. Had I actually managed to get my point about pricey gifts across? But that was just a thing that we did; he bought me expensive presents, I complained that they cost too much, and he didn't care. It was a thing. At least that's what I had thought.

I tried to shrug it off. The only reason I was disappointed was because I had expected something more. The sunglasses were really nice, they were a great present. A _normal_ present.

Edward and Alice came back into the room, Edward holding the cake, and everyone started singing. I blew out all the candles and then Edward served the cake.

We sat around on whatever seats were available while we ate; our living room wasn't really equipped for twelve people. I ended up on the couch between Rosalie and Edward. The French doors to the garden were open, and we could hear Lily and Noah playing out there.

"You really weren't kidding about the blowing up thing, were you?" I noted after a little while. I had seen Rosalie only last week, and there still hadn't been any sign that she was pregnant. Now, she looked about ready to pop at any moment. She glared at me. "Sorry."

She sighed.

"No, it's fine." She took another bite of the cake. "It's just I feel like a hippo, and I don't like it when people remind me about it."

"You don't look like a hippo," I objected. "You look amazing. You've really got the pregnant glow thing."

"Thanks." She squeezed my hand.

"When you say it, she's grateful. When I say it, I'm lying to make her feel better," Emmett noted from across the coffee table. "Why is that?"

"Because Bella knows how I feel," Rosalie explained. "She's been there herself, and she knows that it doesn't really help to lie and say that you look great, so she would never do that."

"Still not completely sure I get your logic," Emmett grumbled.

"Well, you're male, so it might be genetically impossible," Angela piped in, and we all laughed.

"So," I said, deciding to change the subject. "Do you have a feeling?"

"I do honestly think it's a girl," Rosalie replied. "I mean, sure, I want a girl, but it feels like it too. And I knew Noah was a boy all along, so I'm trusting my instinct."

"I know what you mean." I nodded. "I was positive Lily was a girl from the beginning too. I mean, after the whole freaking out part, when I could actually think about it."

"I remember," Angela said, nodding. "And still you refused to buy any girly things until you knew for sure."

"As far as I remember, I refused to get much of anything until after the second ultrasound," I pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but that was just because you didn't want anyone to spot us in the store, remember?" She started laughing, and I had to join in. Looking back, my fear of people finding out seemed a little silly.

"Worrying about what people would think." I shook my head. "I'm glad I got over that."

"Me too," she agreed, then turned to Rosalie. "So, have you started fixing the nursery yet?"

"Not really," Rose replied. "If it's a girl, I want it to be pink, so we can't paint until we know. But I've got all the furniture and stuff picked out, just need to go to the store."

"So you're going to wait until after the baby's born?" Vanessa wondered.

"No, we're finding out at the next ultra sound," Rosalie told her. "Less than a month left, we have an appointment on October eleventh."

"Oh." Vanessa blushed. "Right."

I understood what she had been thinking, and thanked God she hadn't said it out loud.

"Have you thought of any names?" Alice wondered curiously.

"Well, I like Savannah," Rosalie replied. "But Emmett wants to go with N, and he's gotten stuck on Noelle. And Elizabeth for her middle name, of course."

"You'll just have to wait and see if she's a Savannah or a Noelle," I suggested. "Or maybe neither will work."

"Maybe we'll have to drop a bunch of names in a hat and just pick one," Emmett said, chuckling, and Rosalie threw him a glare. "What? I was only kidding!"

I wasn't so sure about that, and, apparently, neither was Rosalie.

xxxxx

I had almost forgotten my unmet birthday expectations when Edward woke me up early the first Saturday in October .

"Time to get up," he mumbled in my ear, shaking me lightly.

I groaned and rolled around, my eyes searching for the alarm clock.

"It's six in the morning on a Saturday," I complained. "What are you doing?"

"You need to get up."

"Why?" I whined, pulling the covers higher.

"We need to go."

That got my attention. I sat up in the bed, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Go where?"

"You'll see." He grinned. "Get dressed."

He left the room, and I looked after him for a moment, trying to get my body to wake up. After a couple of minutes, I sighed and got out of bed. I rummaged through the closet until I found my favorite pairs of jeans and pulled them on along with a long sleeved t-shirt. The weather had been more normal lately, with temperatures in the fifties.

When I got downstairs, I found Lily, half asleep, on a kitchen chair. Edward was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey baby." She looked up when she heard me and yawned. "Where did your dad go?"

"Garage," she mumbled sleepily, pointing in that direction.

At that moment, he came back into the kitchen.

"OK, let's go."

He picked up Lily, who looked like she would fall asleep sitting, and carried her into the garage. I followed, getting in the passenger seat while he buckled her up in the back.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked when he pulled out of the garage.

"Nope."

"Of course not."

I knew that there was no point in trying to get anything out of him, so I leaned my head against the seat and fell asleep almost immediately.

It couldn't have been much later that he shook me awake again. In the dark I could just make out the familiar shape of SeaTac. We were parked in their long-term parking lot.

"Where are we going?" I asked again, but he had already gone to the back to get Lily.

When I got out of the car, I saw that he had gotten a luggage cart. Two large suitcases were piled on it, and I raised an eyebrow at that. When had he managed to pack without me noticing?

"Could you get that?" He nodded at the luggage cart.

I did as he said without questioning anything and followed him and Lily into the airport.

Inside the automatic doors, he paused to look at an information board, then took off in the opposite direction of the check-in counters. I trudged along behind him, leaning heavily on the cart in front of me.

He stopped in front of a counter with a sign saying Acceptance Facility above it. I had no idea what they did.

"Good morning, how may I help you?" A pleasant looking woman asked from behind the desk.

"We need two passports," Edward told her, and I connected at least one of the dots. We were going out of the country, apparently.

"OK, fill these out." She pushed two forms over the counter to him.

The process of getting the passports took almost an hour, and in that time, Lily woke up.

"Where are we going, mom?" she wondered, still sounding a little sleepy.

"I don't know, baby," I said. "Why don't you ask your dad?"

"You'll see soon," Edward told her before she had a chance to ask.

When we had gotten the passports, Edward steered us in the direction of a check-in counter in the domestic departures terminal. I looked up at the screen above it, which read Dallas.

"Dallas?" I said, not getting it. "You don't need a passport to go to Dallas."

"Maybe we're not staying there," Edward hinted cryptically, and I scowled at him. For no good, obviously.

We got some breakfast when we had checked in, and soon, our plane was boarding.

When we landed in Dallas, Edward quickly retrieved our luggage and then towed Lily and me along to the international terminal, where he got in line for a check-in counter where the screen read Cancún. Lily saw this at the same time as I did.

"We're going to Mexico!" she exclaimed happily.

"That's right," Edward agreed with a smile. He leaned in close to me. "Happy birthday."

**AN: I don't actually know if you can get a passport that way in the States. At the bigger airports here in Sweden you can get something called an instant passport, in case you've forgotten yours or something. Since it worked with my story, I used it, and if it doesn't actually exist in USA, call it creative freedom!**


	17. 17 A Week in the Sun

**AN: Some holiday stuff for you guys – I know I could use an opportunity to dream away a little, we've had about three feet of snow and temperatures below thirty degrees here since December! So I wrote some sunny, beachy and vacationy fluff to satisfy my own thirst for the summer. I hope you like it, and let me know!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

**17 – A Week in the Sun**

**Bella**

"This is absolutely beautiful," I murmured, almost to myself. We had just checked into our room – suite, really – and I was looking at the amazing view from the panoramic window.

The white beach stretched out below us, and I couldn't see where it ended either to the left or the right. The sea was very calm, barely rippling at all, and the sun was slowly sinking into its mirror-smooth surface at the horizon.

"Quite the view," Edward agreed, coming to stand next to me. "You like the room then?"

"Are you kidding?" I turned around to look at the living room area of the suite, where we were standing. Lily had quickly disappeared into one of the bedrooms, and I thought I could hear her jumping on the bed in there. "It's so amazing."

"Admit it, you were a little disappointed when you opened your present and saw those sunglasses," he said with a knowing smile.

I considered lying for a brief moment, but then decided against it. He would know if I tried.

"Maybe a little," I admitted. "But that's only because you're spoiling me with way too expensive stuff – I'm starting to expect it!"

"That was my master plan from the beginning." He grinned wider.

"Whatever will you do to top this next year?" I asked dryly.

"Oh, I still have a few aces up my sleeve," he assured me.

"I have no doubt about that." My stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, causing both of us to laugh. "Dinner?"

"Sounds like a plan," he agreed, then raised his voice in the direction of the bedrooms. "Lily?"

"This is soooo cool!" she exclaimed, coming into the room, her cheeks flushed and her hair a little ruffled.

"You hungry?" I asked.

"Yeah. Can we go to a real Mexican restaurant?" She looked thrilled at the idea. "With real Mexican people?"

"How about if we just eat here tonight, and then we'll explore tomorrow?" Edward suggested. "I'm sure we can find a restaurant then." He had told me that all meals were included in the room, but we could still eat out sometime. Lily would love it.

"OK," she graciously agreed, skipping off towards the door.

We took the elevator down to the first floor and soon found the restaurant. It had panoramic windows overlooking the beach and the now-dark sea, just like our room. The sky was clear, and stars twinkled down on us, accompanied by a sliver of the moon. It was just enough to cast a silvery glow over the deserted beach.

"Can we go to the beach tomorrow?" Lily wondered, sounding out of breath, when we had been showed to a table by the windows.

"Sure, princess, that's sort of the point of the whole trip; to enjoy the sun and the beach and the sea," Edward told her.

"You packed sunscreen, right?" I wondered. It felt a little odd not to have been involved in the packing; I worried that he might have forgotten something essential. I'd have to check – discreetly – when we got back upstairs. I didn't want him to think I didn't believe he could handle this.

"I got the highest SPF they had in the store," he assured me.

"Good." I didn't want Lily to get sunburned, and I wasn't very interested in looking like a tomato for the next couple of weeks, either.

"And can we go swimming in the ocean too?" Lily continued.

"We'll have to see how warm it is," I tried to avoid her question. No way was I getting in if it was freezing.

"We'll go swimming anyway, right Lily?" Edward said with a wink at her. "Even if your mom thinks it's too cold."

"Yeah!"

I tried to shoot him a glare, but couldn't quite pull off the angry look.

"I think the hotel has a pool that's heated for you," he added. I did glare at him this time.

xxxxx

Lily could barely keep her eyes open when we rode back up in the elevator after dinner.

"Time for bed, baby?" I wondered, and she nodded sleepily.

When we got to the suite, I went into our bedroom and got Lily's toothbrush and pajamas from one of the suitcases. I took the opportunity to check if Edward had remembered everything, and it seemed like he had. Clothes, books for Lily, toiletries, swimwear, a pair of sandals each for Lily and me, and – most importantly – sunscreen. When I got back into the living room, Lily had slumped down on the couch, and I had to half-carry her to the bathroom. With some effort, I got her to brush her teeth and then tucked her into bed. She didn't complain when I turned the lights off, a sign that she was practically asleep already.

"She fell asleep right away?" Edward wondered when I came back into the living room.

"She was exhausted," I replied, sitting down next to him on the couch.

"Well, it has been a long day," he noted.

"No kidding." I yawned, leaning my head against his shoulder. "Long but good."

"You really like it?" I couldn't understand the hint of insecurity in his voice. Hadn't I made absolutely clear how excited I was about being here?

"I love it," I assured him, snuggling in closer. He wrapped an arm around me and sighed.

"I'm glad. And Lily seems thrilled too."

"I think everyone here speaking English sort of burst her bubble, though," I said with a laugh. She had looked disappointed when the waiter in the restaurant had addressed us in English and not Spanish.

"I'm sure we can find some natives that she can talk Spanish to tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan."

"You tired too?" he wondered, rubbing his nose against my cheek. His breath was hot against my neck.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Time for bed?"

"I like the sound of that." I turned my head and quickly found his lips.

"Not that tired, then?"

I smiled against his lips.

"Never that tired."

**Edward**

On Sunday, we woke to sunlight shining in through the windows, the sky outside a bright blue, not a cloud in sight. The perfect first day of a vacation.

"Mmm, nice start to the day," Bella mumbled sleepily beside me, peeking at the sky with one eye.

"I'll have to agree with you," I murmured back, pulling her closer under the covers. She laughed a little.

"Not that I'm not totally with you, but considering the time I suspect we'll get a wake-up call at any moment," she pointed out.

I glanced at the clock; a little after nine. I was surprised Lily hadn't woken us up yet, actually. But she had been really tired last night, maybe she was still asleep.

"I suppose you're right," I agreed, sighing a little. "What do you say we check out that kids club today? Get some alone time, maybe."

She slapped me playfully on the chest.

"Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"What?" I wondered. Then I realized what she had been thinking, and frowned. "No, that's not… I mean it's not like I'm trying to get her out of the way so we can…"

She cut me off with a kiss.

"I was only teasing," she assured me, pulling away. "But I think we should do that, actually. Lily would love hanging out with other kids her age, and some alone time would be nice."

"You can't pull stuff like that on me this early in the morning; my brain isn't working on that level yet," I half-grumbled, getting out of bed. I pulled on some underwear and rummaged through my suitcase in search of a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

After a moment, I felt Bella's arms encircle my waist from behind.

"Sorry," she apologized.

I turned around in her embrace so I could put my arms around her too.

"Apology accepted."

It took me a moment to realize that she was still completely naked, and since I wasn't wearing much more myself, our bodies were pressed together in a very nice way. I pulled away – we would never get out of here if I didn't.

"You know, that's very distracting," I pointed out, turning my back on her so I could finish getting dressed without having to worry about being sidetracked.

"Oh. Well, if you're so easily distracted…" I could hear the laughter in her voice. "Maybe I'd better leave you alone."

She disappeared into the on suite bathroom, closing the door behind her. A moment later, I heard the shower turn on.

I zipped up my shorts and pulled on a t-shirt before leaving the bedroom. When I got into the living room area, I was surprised to find Lily curled up on the couch, still in her pajamas and with a book in her hands.

"You're already up, princess? Why didn't you wake us?" I wondered, sitting down next to her.

"We're on holiday, you're supposed to be able to sleep as late as you want on holiday," she explained.

"Well, that's sort of true, but you could have woken us up. Have you been up long?"

"No." She shook her head, her eyes still on the page of her book. I wondered what she was reading. "Just half an hour."

"You hungry?"

She nodded vigorously.

"Well, go get dressed, and we can go get breakfast as soon as your mom's done in the shower," I told her, and she jumped off the couch, heading into our bedroom.

She reemerged a few minutes later, at the same time as the shower in our bathroom turned off, wearing a denim skirt and pink top. I was glad I had managed to pack something that she liked; it hadn't been very easy to pick something from all the clothes she had. Rosalie and Alice loved shopping for her. For the sake of everyone, I hoped Rose would get a daughter of her own now that she could spoil. If she kept her shopping up, we might have to turn one of the spare bedrooms into a closet for Lily.

"So, are we exploring or going to the beach first?" I wondered, and Lily's forehead scrunched up as she pondered the choice presented to her.

"Exploring," she finally decided.

"Exploring it is."

We waited a few minutes until Bella came out from the bedroom, and then we went downstairs for breakfast.

The restaurant where we'd had dinner last night now had two lines of buffet tables against one wall, filled with everything from cereal and waffles to sandwiches and fruit.

"Wow, a real hotel breakfast," Bella noted happily. "That's my favorite part of staying in a hotel."

"Leave it to you to be excited about the breakfast buffet." I had to laugh.

"Oh, shut up!"

I had to admit, the breakfast _was_ amazing. If you wanted to go for the healthy alternative, there would be no problem filling up on different kinds of more or less exotic fruit; cantaloupe, watermelon, mango, pineapple, strawberries, bananas, apples, pears… But none of us were feeling very healthy, so we filled our plates with French toast, pancakes and waffles instead.

"After a week of this, I won't fit into any of my clothes," Bella half-complained when we had finished, leaning back in the chair.

"You know that you don't actually _have_ to try everything, right?" I teased. She threw a left-over bread crust at me.

"If you're not careful…" she started quietly while we followed Lily out of the restaurant, "you'll be sleeping on the very nice pull-out couch in the living room tonight."

I only laughed. Her arm around my waist contradicted her words.

We spent the morning walking around the area surrounding the hotel. There were, of course, other hotels, but also a lot of restaurants with local cuisine and stores selling different souvenirs, mostly imitation of Mayan art. Lily was ecstatic when she got to say a few words in Spanish, and she charmed all the locals we met.

By one, we were all starving and made our way back to the hotel for lunch.

The afternoon was spent on the beach. Bella mostly relaxed in a lounger under a sunshade while Lily and I played on the beach – I was glad I had packed some beach games – chased each other along the white sand and every now and then went into the water, which wasn't cold at all. Bella refused to try it, though.

"This really is heaven," she noted when I took a much needed break and sat down on the end of her lounger, practically panting from running around with Lily. I glanced down at the water line, where she was looking for shells in the shallow water.

"It is," I agreed. I turned so I was facing the same way as Bella and leaned against her legs. "Sun, sea, you two… what more can a guy ask for?"

She laughed.

"You know she's probably going to get bored, just hanging around on the beach all week?" she pointed out after a moment. "I mean, she's psyched about it now, but that'll wear off quickly."

"That's where the kids club comes in handy," I replied. "We'll stop by the reception on our way back to the room and ask about it."

"Sounds good."

"We'll have to look through all those brochures as well," I continued. The desk in the living room area of the suite had practically been littered with different brochures offering – as far as I could tell from a quick glance – everything from massages to dolphin excursions and snorkeling. "Might as well go all out while we're here."

**Bella**

The receptionist was only too happy to tell us all about the hotel's kids club. It was open from nine in the morning till five in the afternoon, but closed during lunch. We hadn't actually planned on leaving Lily there for that long, but it was good to know the hours. And who knew? Once she got there, she might not _want_ to leave. I got flashbacks of days at the daycare center when she was little; most days, she would be inconsolable when I dropped her off, clinging to me and making it very difficult to leave her, but then she would be just as upset when she had to leave when I came to pick her up. Kids.

It turned out that the hotel had a restaurant that served 'real' Mexican food, so we didn't have to leave the hotel to eat that night either. I was a little glad; though the information the hotel provided assured us that the area was very safe, I didn't much like the idea of going out after dark in a place I wasn't familiar with.

When we got back to the suite after dinner, we looked through the brochures offering different experiences and activities. Lily got really excited when she saw the Mini Spa for kids, and I couldn't really blame her. Who could say no to a chocolate massage? When Edward found a similar treatment for adults, I managed to hide my excitement only a little better than Lily had.

"Why don't I call and see if they have any open appointments?" he suggested, laughing at the matching looks of enthusiasm on mine and Lily's faces.

"Wait, we might want to do something else too," I told him, flipping through the brochures.

"Well, I know I want to go snorkeling, but that's just off the hotel beach," he noted.

"I want to go snorkeling too!" Lily exclaimed.

"Well, I'll just watch," I said. The water looked way too cold. "But look at this; there's a place on Isla Mujeres where you can swim with dolphins!"

"Oh, I want to do that, can we do that, please? Please please please!" Lily put on her very best puppy eyes.

"Sure," Edward agreed with a smile.

"And you can go snorkeling there, too," I added.

"Great." He reached for the phone. "Is there anything else we want to do, or should I call and make the reservations?"

"Unless you want to join me for a chocolate massage," I hinted with a wink.

"I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy the massage last time, but the chocolate part? Too girly."

"Fine." I giggled.

We made reservations to go to the dolphin park on Wednesday, Lily was having her chocolate massage on Tuesday and I got an appointment for mine on Friday.

After breakfast on Monday, we dropped Lily off at the kids club. Edward and I spent the morning on the beach, relaxing on loungers in the shade and ordering colorful drinks with little umbrellas from the bar there. At noon, we went to pick Lily up from the kids club for lunch.

"Can I go back after lunch?" she asked excitedly.

"Sure you can," I agreed happily. We had decided that if she didn't want to go back, she wouldn't have to, but she had apparently had fun. And that meant more alone time for us.

"We're going to the beach to collect seashells!" she exclaimed animatedly.

"That sounds like a lot of fun," Edward piped in.

xxxxx

"That worked out well," I noted when Edward and I walked back down to the beach, hand in hand, after having dropped Lily off at the kids club again.

"Have to agree with you," he replied. His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me closer. "She has fun with the other kids and I get you all to myself – everyone's a winner."

I laughed at that and pulled him along towards the loungers we'd spent the morning in.

"I think I'm going to take a dip, you don't want to join me?" he asked, pulling his t-shirt off and tossing it onto one of the chairs.

I glanced at the waves rolling towards the beach and shuddered a little.

"No thanks, I think I'll stay in the sun, where it's warm."

"If that's what you want." He shrugged, and before I had a chance to react, he threw me over his shoulder and took off towards the water.

"Put me down!" I shrieked, hammering against his back. He just laughed at me. "Seriously, Edward, put me down right now! I am not joking!"

"In a minute," he replied, and I heard the sound of water splashing around his feet. I instantly stopped squirming. I didn't want him to drop me in the water.

"It's freezing!" I complained.

"You haven't stuck one toe in since we got here, you have no idea how nice it is," he countered.

Technically, true. But the point was that I had no wish to _try_. I was going to get back at him for this…

"I swear, if you don't take me back up to the beach right now, you will be sleeping on the couch," I tried to threaten, but, again, he laughed. "I'm serious!"

"Sure you are."

I decided to try pleading.

"Please don't do this." I worked to make my voice sound small. "Please."

"Sorry, not working today."

I saw that the water reached him to the waist now and braced myself for the drop.

"In you go!"

I shrieked as he dropped me into the water, and then stopped abruptly when I realized that it really was very nice.

"It is really warm," I noted, surprised.

"I told you," he said, floating on his back next to me. "It's almost eighty in the water. I figured, throw you in when we got back from lunch so you wouldn't be all warmed up by the sun yet."

"Good plan," I acknowledged. "But you still shouldn't have done it!" I threw myself at him and pushed his head under the surface.

A full-blown water war ensued.

We were both exhausted by the time we got up from the water and crashed on the loungers. Neither of us moved for quite a while.

**Edward**

Tuesday passed in a fashion very similar to Monday, except for the fact that we took Lily to get her kiddie massage after lunch before dropping her off at the kids club. She loved the chocolate massage and strawberry manicure and talked about it the entire evening. On Wednesday, we took a taxi to where the boat to Isla Mujeres left from and soon arrived on the island.

We took our time exploring the island, having made appointments for Bella and Lily to swim with the dolphins after lunch. We all snorkeled at the Manchones Reef, looking at the colorful fish that swam just a few feet out from the shore, and had lunch at a restaurant overlooking the water.

After eating, we went to the dolphin pools and Bella and Lily got suited up to go in the water. I sat down a few feet from the edge, getting the camera ready.

"They're so cute!" Lily exclaimed before even going in.

They were part of a group of six people who all went into the pool at the same time, with a trainer. First, they got to pat the dolphins.

"They're slimey!" I heard Lily giggle as she stroked one of the grey animals. I took several pictures, knowing that she'd want memories of this moment.

As they patted, played with, kissed and got to ride on the dolphins, the big smile never left Lily's face. She shrieked with laughter when she held on to the dorsal fin of one of the dolphins and it towed her through the water. I watched with a matching smile on my own face. I knew she would never forget this vacation, and neither would I.

"That was awesome!" she declared when they finally got out of the water. She was shivering a little and her lips were starting to turn blue, but that didn't seem to bother her at all. I quickly wrapped her in a towel to warm her up; I didn't want her to catch a cold and have to spend the rest of the week in bed.

"You had fun?" I asked, completely unnecessarily.

"I love dolphins!" she exclaimed excitedly. "They're the coolest animals ever!"

"It really was amazing," Bella agreed.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," I said, giving her a kiss.

Lily wouldn't stop talking about the dolphin adventure during the ride back to the hotel, or dinner, or the rest of the evening. She was still gushing over how wonderful they were when I tucked her in at nine thirty.

"And they're really smart, dad, like people-smart," she happily informed me through a yawn. "And did you know that when they sleep, half their brain is still awake? So they can keep breathing."

"That's great, but it's time for you to sleep now," I replied, pulling the cover up to her chin. "And don't even try to keep half your brain awake!"

"I'm going to tell Nicki and Alex and Dan all about the dolphins tomorrow," I heard her mumble to herself as I closed the door behind me and recognized the names of some of the kids at the kids club. "They're going to be sooo jealous."

I was laughing silently to myself when I sat down next to Bella on the couch.

"She's still on about the dolphins?" she asked with a smile and I nodded.

"Yeah."

"Well, it was an amazing experience." She shrugged. "I'd expect at least a few more days of this."

"Amazing experience, you say?"

"It really was totally great," she replied with a smile. "And I'm not even as big an animal lover as she is."

"True." I pretended to ponder that deeply for a moment. "And here I was thinking that _I_ was the only one who got to give you amazing experiences."

She laughed.

"Not exactly the same kind of experience," she pointed out. "But if you feel like trying to make me forget about the dolphins, feel free."

I swept her up off the couch and proceeded to do just that.

xxxxx

Thursday didn't differ very much from Monday or Tuesday, the only variation was that Lily sat tapping her foot against the floor impatiently all through lunch.

"You know that keeping that up isn't going to make the time go by any faster?" Bella pointed out after a while.

"Isn't it one thirty yet?" Lily asked in reply. The kids club was closed between noon and one thirty, and they were apparently going to have a treasure hunt this afternoon, which explained her impatient behavior.

"No, it's just a little after one," I told her, and she sighed deeply.

But eventually, it was one thirty and we dropped off an ecstatic Lily at the kids club before taking a walk along the beach.

Bella had been wrong about Lily talking about the dolphins for days. On Thursday evening, the treasure hunt was all she could talk about instead.

I was glad that she was having such a good time there, really. But I had been hoping to be able to convince her not to go there after lunch on Friday, when Bella left for her massage.

"Come on, we can go snorkeling again," I tried to tempt her.

"But we're building sand castles this afternoon," she objected.

"Sand castles are more important than hanging out with me?" I tried to put on a hurt face, but she saw right through me.

"I can hang out with you any time back home," she reasoned in a very adult manner. "But we can't build sand castles in Seattle."

I didn't try to argue with her, just took her back to the kids club. I'd have to find some other way to keep myself busy until Bella got back.

I ended up making arrangements for Saturday night. When we had looked through the brochures and found Bella and Lily's massages and the dolphin trip, I had noticed that the hotel offered romantic dinners on the beach. I wanted to do something special our last night here, so I got a babysitter for Lily and made reservations for dinner for Bella and me at eight.

I still had some time to kill after that was done, so I went back to the suite to check my cell. We tried to stay as cut off from the real world as possible, but I still wanted people to be able to reach us. Our family knew not to call us unless it was really important.

I had a new message from Emmett and I clicked it open. It contained an image that I, at first, wasn't sure what it was supposed to be. But then I saw the message.

_It's a girl! Hope you're having fun down in the sun, see you soon._

I smiled to myself and looked at the ultra sound image again. Emmett was obviously excited, and I had no doubt that Rosalie would be ecstatic.

Bella had said that she was going back to the room after the massage, so I sprawled on the couch and turned the television on. I had gotten halfway through an episode of _Overhauled_ when the door opened.

"What are you doing in here?" Bella wondered. "You can't stay cooped up in the room when the sun is shining and the beach is just a few feet away. It's practically a sin!"

"Just waiting for you," I replied. "I lost the war to sand castles, so I've been trying to distract myself with some TV while I waited for you."

"Oh, poor baby," she said with a smirk. "I'll just change and we can leave."

"Beach?" I asked.

"Beach," she agreed. "I'm at a very exciting place in my book."

I laughed at that and waited while she went into the bathroom to change into her bikini.

"I got a text from Emmett, by the way," I called after her. "It's a girl."

"Rosalie must be so excited," she noted, coming back into the room.

"It seems like Emmett is, too."

"I just hope the poor kid'll like pink."

"I wouldn't worry. She is Rosalie's child, after all."

xxxxx

Later that night, we were curled up on the couch after Lily had fallen asleep. We were watching _The Departed_, which we had both seen before but that was still good. It was also long, though. Halfway through it, Bella started yawning.

"Time for bed?" I suggested and she nodded.

"I don't think I can keep my eyes open long enough to watch the end of this," she admitted.

"Well, we do know how it ends," I pointed out teasingly.

"True." She got up from the couch and I turned the television off before following her into the bedroom. "I'm just going to take a shower, wash of the remnants of chocolate that I still have absolutely everywhere." She wrinkled her nose.

"Or…" I started, pulling her in for a kiss. "You could leave that part to me."

She laughed.

"That does sound tempting, but it's gotten all sticky and I'm feeling kind of gross."

"Fine." I let her go and she disappeared into the bathroom.

I pulled the coverlet off the bed, got undressed and crawled into bed. After a couple of minutes, I heard the water turn off.

"Edward?" she called through the door.

"Yeah?"

"You didn't happen to pack any… girly stuff, did you?"

Girly stuff?

"What?"

"It's that time of the month," she hinted, and I understood.

"Oh, no, sorry. Didn't think of that." I should have, of course. I knew that it would be around this weekend; she had told me less than a week ago.

"That's OK, I've got some emergency stuff in my purse, could you give it to me? It's in the bedside table."

I found the purse in the space beneath the drawer in her bedside table and opened the bathroom door to give it to her.

"Thanks," she said with a smile.

I closed the door again to give her some privacy and got back into bed. After a moment, she left the bathroom and joined me.

"You know what this means, right?" she said, biting her lip.

"This is… the third time after…?" I asked, a little nervously.

"Yeah, so we're all set to go after this."

I took a deep breath and tried to push the fear that suddenly filled me away.

"Hey," she mumbled, as if she knew what I was thinking. I felt her hand on my cheek and met her eyes when she turned my face towards hers. "Is this… are you worried?"

"You're not?" I countered.

I wanted this. I did. More than anything else. But the memory… the pain. I wasn't sure we could deal with that again. And if it didn't work…

"Of course I'm worried," she admitted. "Terrified, actually."

She was? She had seemed so sure about this, I had been positive that I was the only one who worried about what might happen.

"Then maybe…"

"No," she cut me off, shaking her head. "Because I believe that it _will_ work. I have to believe that. And if it does, if we get a baby in the end… it's worth it. Right?"

I had to think for a moment.

"I mean, if you really don't want to, then I'll respect that," she continued, but I could see that it was difficult for her to say the words.

"And if it happens again?" I had to put the question out there, even if I could see her flinching at the thought.

"Then… I don't know. I can't say now how I would feel if that was the case. Maybe it would be too painful, maybe I wouldn't want to try again, or maybe I would. But right now, I do want to. Do you?"

I tried to look at it objectively, tried to turn off two different instincts; the one that always wanted to give her whatever she wanted and the one that wanted to avoid ever risking that kind of pain again.

The answer was really obvious.

"Yes, I do."

A smile spread on her face as I said the words.

"So we'll try?"

"We will."

"There's another thing that I've been thinking about," she changed the subject. "I'm going to talk to Michelle on Monday and tell her that I'm going to cut down on my hours, only work half-time from now on."

"OK." I nodded. "You know that you don't have to work at all, if you don't want to."

"No, I still want to work, I just don't want to work too much now, you know." She looked down at her hands. "I mean, I know that Doctor Wallace said that it had nothing to do with what happened, but I don't want to take any chances. If… if it happens again, I don't want to think 'what if'."

I knew exactly how she felt.

**Bella**

After our conversation on Friday night, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had been putting off talking to Edward about this way too long, only pulled myself together when I could no longer avoid it. The truth was that, despite the fact that he had agreed to this months ago, I had been afraid that he would have changed his mind.

To know that he wanted this just as much as I did was comforting.

Our last day in Mexico – we had to leave the hotel a little after eleven on Sunday morning, so I didn't really count that day – was very similar to the rest; we dropped Lily off at the kids club after breakfast, where she was going to be playing video games, apparently, and went down to the beach where we spent the morning lounging in the shade. Then we picked Lily up and had lunch before dropping her off again and going back to the beach. I could really get used to the whole lounging around all day. The only difference came when we were going down for dinner in the evening.

Instead of going straight to the restaurant, Edward went to the reception and I followed him suspiciously.

"Hi, we have a reservation, Cullen," he told the man behind the desk.

"Of course." The man turned to Lily. "Hi there. Why don't you come on around and go into that room?" He indicated a door behind him. "Anna's in there, and she's going to hang out with you tonight." He turned to Edward. "And you can just go on down to the beach bar, and a concierge will be waiting for you there."

"Thank you," Edward told the man before winking at Lily. "You are good at keeping secrets."

She giggled.

"Aha, you two planned this together," I realized.

"Well, I had to run it by Lily, since it affects her evening as well," Edward said. "But you're OK with the arrangement?" He seemed to want to make absolutely sure.

"Uh-huh." Lily nodded. "Anna said that we can play games and watch TV and have popcorn."

"We're not leaving for the night, are we?" I asked nervously. I didn't like the idea of leaving Lily with strangers the whole night.

"No, we'll be back in a couple of hours," Edward assured me.

"OK, good." I let out a sigh of relief.

"Now off you go," he said to Lily, and she gave us both a hug before skipping off behind the reception desk and through the door. "And you're coming with me."

We walked down to the bar on the beach where a polite concierge led us out to a table set up on the sand, a few feet from the edge of the water. There were lit candles, wine glasses and plates.

"Wow," I mumbled quietly.

"You like it?" Edward asked nervously.

"Are you kidding?" I reached up on my tip-toes to give him a kiss. "I love it. This is, without a doubt, the best vacation ever."

**AN: I put the dolphin thing in there because I actually went swimming with dolphins when we were in Egypt five years ago – it is totally amazing!**


	18. 18 Second Time's A Charm?

**AN: OK guys, what everyone's been waiting for! I think the title really says it all. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them. **

**18 – Second time's a charm?**

**Bella**

The rain welcomed us, unsurprisingly, when we left SeaTac on Sunday night. I sighed as I stared out into the dark, wet Washington fall.

"Back to the real life," Edward noted next to me in the driver's seat. "It can't all be sunshine and beaches."

"But wouldn't it be nice if it could?" I teased.

"Well, there is LA," he replied, frowning and apparently taking me seriously. "Or Jacksonville. I mean, if you want to we can…"

"No," I cut him off. "I was only kidding. I love living here. I mean, sure, the sun and the heat is nice, but it gets old pretty fast too."

He eyed me suspiciously.

"Are you sure? I seem to remember something about 'always being a Phoenix girl at heart'."

I had said that once, hadn't I? Well, I must have gotten used to the rain and the cold at some point. It didn't bother me nearly as much now as it had when I first moved to Forks.

"I'm good right here," I assured him.

"If you say so."

xxxxx

It felt slightly surreal to go back to work the following morning. First of all, having to put on jeans and a thick sweater along with my rain jacket before leaving the house felt way off. It's funny how fast you get used to things like being able to go outside in shorts and a t-shirt.

I spotted Michelle the minute I got into the office. She was hanging around the coffee machine and had a slightly sheepish smile on her face.

"I promised not to say anything!" she apologized before I had a chance to even say hi.

"It's fine," I assured her. I had actually enjoyed this surprise.

"I'm glad." She sounded relieved. "So are you ready to get back to work? All rested after a week in Mexico?"

"Sure." I paused. "I would actually like to talk to you first, though, if you have a minute."

"Of course." She handed the folder she was holding back to Alan, who she had been talking to when I got there. "Let's go to my office, we'll be able to talk in private."

I followed her down the hallway to her office and closed the door behind me.

"What's on your mind?" she asked, sitting down behind the desk.

"I'm actually thinking about cutting down on my hours," I told her. "I was thinking half-time."

"Oh." She frowned. "Any particular reason."

Yes. But I didn't want to tell her the actual reason, at least not right now.

"I just feel like I've been missing too much with Lily lately, you know," I lied, hoping she wouldn't catch on. "I mean, I'll never get these years back, and since I technically don't have to work, I just thought that I'd spend some more time with her."

"I see." Michelle didn't look like she believed me completely, but she didn't push, and I was grateful. I wasn't sure I would be able to lie to her if she came right out and questioned me. "So what are we talking? Nine to two? With a half-hour lunch break, that would be four and a half hours a day."

"That sounds good. Lily gets out of school at two thirty, so I would be able to pick her up. She'd love that." Not really a lie. Lily would be ecstatic.

"Then it's settled," Michelle said with a slightly wistful smile. "Do you want me to give the Missing Piece campaign to Allie? You've barely started on it, right?"

Your Missing Piece was a new online dating agency that had just set up and wanted to get the word out there. I had just been given the campaign a few days before my unexpected vacation.

"Yeah, that's probably best. I'll try to stick to one campaign at a time. I'll look through what little I have already done and give that to Allie."

"Good." She smiled at me.

"I honestly thought that you wouldn't be too happy about letting me cut down on my hours," I noted. I had expected her to try to talk me out of it.

"Well, this is how I see it." She shrugged. "Either I let you do what you want and get to keep my favorite – and best – employee, if only for a few hours a day. Or I say no, and you quit on me. So I went with the better option."

"Oh." I hadn't thought about it that way. "Well, I'm glad."

"Me too." Her phone rang at that moment, signaling that the conversation was over. I got up to leave. "Just give me a heads up if you plan on any longer periods of absence," she called after me, and I realized she knew exactly what this was about.

xxxxx

I decided to use my new freedom to drop in on Rosalie after work; I'd start my new routine of picking Lily up after school tomorrow. On my way to Rosalie's office, I passed by GAP Kids, and decided to go inside. I quickly found an adorable, pink, frilly dress that I couldn't resist. I also stopped by the supermarket and got some Twinkies and barbecue sauce – Rosalie's latest craving.

"Congratulations!" I greeted her when I knocked on the open door to her office.

"Hi!" she exclaimed. "And thank you."

"I thought some pink was in order," I said, laughing a little, and handed her the bag with the dress.

"Oh my God! This is so cute," she gushed, holding the dress up.

"That's what I thought too." I sat down in her visitors' chair. "I also come bearing food." I put the Twinkies and the barbecue sauce down on the desk and then produced a plastic knife from my purse.

"That's so sweet. You're going to make me cry!" she complained, wiping away a tear. "These hormones are really something."

I nodded understandingly. "Tell me about it."

"So, what are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" She put on a serious face. "Are you ditching?"

"Nope. I'm starting my new 'work less spend more time with the family' routine today," I explained. "I'll just be working nine to two from now on."

"Oh. That's great. I mean, if that's what you really want." Rosalie knew very well how much I loved my job – she felt the same way about hers.

I sighed.

"I'm really just trying to cut down on the stress, you know," I admitted, fiddling with the hem on my shirt while I spoke. "I mean, not that that's why… but just in case."

"I understand," she said softly.

"Yeah." I decided to change the subject. "So, is little Miss Savannah-Noelle moving around in there yet?"

"Oh, don't call her that!" Rosalie objected, rubbing her stomach. "I'm definitely not going to give in, and it doesn't seem like Emmett is planning to either, so we might very well end up naming her that."

"You'll figure it out," I encouraged.

"I hope so." She sighed. "I mean, it's not that I have to have my way or anything, but Noah and Noelle? I'm not really into the whole matching names thing."

"Have to say I agree with you on that one."

"So, anyway, yes, I have started feeling some movement. Not a lot yet, but we'll get there."

"I thought that was the most amazing part," I reminisced. "I mean, on a logical level you know that it's real, that there actually is a baby in there, but when you feel that…"

"Priceless," Rosalie agreed.

"Yeah." I looked out the window wistfully, hoping that we would get that again.

**Edward**

Lily and I had been home for less than an hour when Bella came home. Lily looked up when the front door opened, and a smile spread on her face when she heard her mom's voice.

"Mom!" she exclaimed, jumping off the chair she had been sitting in, doing her homework, and sprinting into the hallway. I followed her slowly.

"Hey baby," I heard Bella say just when I rounded the corner.

"What are you doing home, it's not even four yet!" Lily gushed.

"Well, I thought I'd work a little less, so I could hang out with you and your dad some more," Bella explained, throwing a smile my way. "And I thought I'd pick you up after school from now on, if that's OK."

"That's awesome!"

"I think that was a yes," I interjected. "And now that all the overwhelming greetings are done, back to work."

"OK," Lily grudgingly agreed and trudged off back into the kitchen.

"Things went OK with Michelle then?" I assumed, leaning in for my hello kiss.

"Mmm. Yes. She didn't even try to talk me out of it, she said that she'd rather I work a little than not at all."

"She knows to value her best employee," I pointed out and Bella blushed.

"That's what she said too, or something like it." She shrugged. "I mean, it was probably just a compliment to keep me from wanting to work even less."

"Are you kidding?" I asked disbelievingly. She really had no idea of her own value. "You're the greatest asset that place has. How many millions of dollars have you brought into the company?"

"I stopped by to see Rosalie on my way home," she said, changing the subject. She was always uncomfortable when you complimented her like this.

"She OK?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "She's really excited, but I think she's a little worried about upsetting me, so she tried to hide it. Completely unsuccessfully, of course."

"Yeah, Rose has never been the best at hiding her feelings," I noted. "I'm actually surprised she has enough tact to even try."

"Hey!" Bella objected, slapping me playfully on the arm. "That's your sister-in-law you're talking about. And one of my best friends."

"I know," I replied, grinning. "I guess it's a good thing she's married to my brother, the only other person I've ever met who actually has _less_ tact than she does."

She couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I guess that's true," she allowed. "Now, if you don't mind, I am going to go and help our daughter with her homework."

xxxxx

When October turned into November, I noticed that Bella started getting a little… on edge. After a couple of days, I decided to call her on it.

"Something bothering you?" I asked one night after Lily had gone to bed. "You've been a little weird lately."

She gave me a sheepish smile.

"I've just started counting the days until I'm supposed to get my period," she admitted.

"Oh." I calculated quickly in my head. October twelfth, that would mean… this weekend.

"And I know that I shouldn't stress about it like this, because that in itself can make it late, but I can't help it." She let out an exasperated sigh.

"Look," I said, taking one of her hands in mine and forcing her to look at me. "Just relax. Let what happens happen."

"Aren't you all laid back all of a sudden," she noted with a laugh.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I guess I've accepted that we can't do much, that whatever is going to happen will happen whatever we do."

She must have noticed the slightly gloomy undertone in my voice.

"Hey. It's going to be fine," she said, emphasizing each word. I put on a slightly fake smile.

"I know." No need to force my fears on her. She had enough to think about dealing with her own worries.

**Bella**

On Monday, I slowed down when I passed the pharmacy on my way to work. I was two days late, and itching to get a pregnancy test so I would know. But at the same time, I was worried that it was my stress that was the reason behind it. So I didn't stop, but decided to give it a few more days.

On Friday, I was out of patience.

"Hey, Michelle," I called when I saw her pass my office a little before noon.

"Yeah?" She stuck her head through the doorway.

"I can't really do much on this until I talk to Joan at Davies' on Monday, do you mind if I call it a day?"

"Sure, go." She smirked. "Enjoy the weather."

I glanced out the window at the relentless rain.

"I'll do that."

I quickly turned my computer off and stuffed my things in my purse before leaving the office. I ran to the car, but still got soaked on the way.

I stopped at Walgreens and quickly found the right aisle. I studied the boxes for a moment, not sure what I was looking for, and then picked one of a different brand than the one I'd taken last time. I wasn't superstitious or anything, but it couldn't hurt, right?

The salesclerk smiled at me when I paid, and I think I managed to pull off a tense smile in return.

When I got back to the car, I hurried home. I'd still have time to pick up Lily in two hours.

"Edward?" I called when I came into the house from the garage.

"What's wrong?" he asked, coming into the kitchen, an anxious expression on his face.

"Nothing's wrong," I quickly assured him. "I just stopped by the pharmacy on my way home." I held up the box.

"Oh." I couldn't decipher the look on his face.

"Will you wait with me?" I pleaded. "I'm not sure I'll be able to look at it."

"Of course." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled a little. "Don't be nervous."

"Yeah, that's easy," I mumbled.

"Why don't you go… do whatever you need to do, and I'll be there in a minute?"

"OK."

I squeezed his hand once before heading for the stairs. I went into our bathroom and read the instructions – unnecessarily, since they were exactly the same as last time – and peed on the stick. When I was done, I opened the door and found Edward sitting on the bed. I put the test down on a paper towel on the bedside table and crawled into his lap, my back to the test.

"If it's negative…" I started.

"We'll try again," he cut me off.

"OK." I nodded and leaned my head against his chest. I felt his arms tighten around me and his lips against my hair.

"How long is it supposed to take?" he wondered after a moment.

"Two minutes."

We sat in silence. Two minutes passed, and then two more. I made no attempt to move.

"I think it might be done," he tried to joke after five minutes.

"I know." I took a deep breath. "I'm not sure that I don't want to live in happy ignorance a little longer."

"Look at the test," he told me.

"You look at it."

"I already did."

"And?" I looked up at him, tried to read his expression, but it was pointless. He had his poker face on.

"Look at it," he repeated.

"I don't know if I can," I mumbled. "And besides, isn't that what you're here for? So I won't have to."

"If you can't even look at the test, do you really think you're ready to deal with the result?"

I sort of saw his point. But I still glared at him a little before getting out of his lap and picking the test up.

There was a plus sign in the little window.

"It's positive." I could feel the smile spreading on my face when I turned to him. He was smiling, too. Not the radiant smile that had appeared on his face when he'd opened the box on his birthday. This smile was a little more… tentative, that was the word I was looking for. And I could understand that.

"It is," he agreed, wrapping his arms around me. "You didn't think it would be?"

"I don't know, I guess I was a little scared to actually believe…"

"I know."

We stood like that for a long time, just stood there. His arms were warm around me and I could hear his heart beat under my cheek. It was one of those perfect moments when the rest of the world just melted away, and there was just us.

"You should call Doctor Wallace," he mumbled after a long silence. I reluctantly pulled away from him and glanced at my watch. It was only a little after one.

"I'll call her right away," I said, reaching for the phone.

"I'll be downstairs." He gave me a kiss before leaving the room. I looked after him for a long moment before dialing the number.

I understood his hesitation, the contained happiness. Because I had seen it in his eyes, the happiness. He was just afraid to let it out. Just like me.

The next couple of weeks, before we got to the three-month-mark – I refused to think _if_ we got there – would be hard. We'd both be terrified of what might happen. But we had each other. And we could do this.

**Edward**

I walked down the stairs slowly, trying to make sense of the mixed emotions washing over me. Joy, of course. Fear, deep and black. Doubt. Yearning. Grief. Loss. All mixed in there in a confusing mess. I couldn't make one feeling stand out from the others, they were linked so closely that I couldn't separate them.

It was comforting to know that I wasn't alone, at least. That Bella must be feeling the same things that I did, maybe even more powerfully.

I slumped down on the couch and leaned my head back, stared into the ceiling. I remembered an image from many months ago, of a little boy with brown hair and Bella's nose. But no, I shook the image off. That was the image of the baby we lost, the baby that we would never get to know. This was a new baby. But still a part of both of us, still _our_ child. Still everything that I wanted.

I couldn't see it.

I didn't know if it was because I was too afraid of the pain it would cause to imagine the future only to have it taken away again. But I just couldn't envision it.

I heard Bella come down the stairs and pulled myself together. I looked up and smiled just as she came into the room.

"I got an appointment for Tuesday," she told me with a small smile. "Could you pick up Lily on Monday so I can go by the doctor's office after work?"

"Of course."

"Great." She hesitated for a moment. "I'm starving. Do you want to go to Veraci's for lunch before picking Lily up? I didn't have time to eat anything before I left work."

"Sure." I got up and grabbed my car keys from the coffee table.

"You're not going to argue about the pizza?" she wondered on the way to the car.

I smiled at the memory. Yes, vegetables and fruit would be back on the menu now.

"I'll force-feed you an apple when we get home."

xxxxx

On Tuesday, I was more nervous than I thought was possible. I still had two songs to finish for Eric's movie, but I just couldn't concentrate on the music. When I had sat on the piano bench for an hour without even touching the keys, I gave up and decided to go for a run to – hopefully – clear my head. I was meeting Bella at the doctor's office at one, I would have time for an hour-long run before I had to leave.

I started down the street towards Woodland Park where I used to run around Green Lake. I checked my watch again. I'd have time for three laps before heading back.

It felt nice to be outside, even if it was drizzling a little. The air was clean and cold. It had snowed this past weekend, but what little had remained on the ground had rained away last night.

I tried not to think about the doctor's appointment while I ran.

We were going to Florida for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Lily was thrilled about the trip, both about seeing her grandmother and Phil and about getting away from the rain. She had been complaining about the weather more than usual lately, since we got back from Mexico. But I had to admit that it would be nice to get away from the constant downpour. It felt like I hadn't seen the sun in weeks. And Bella was excited. She always loved visiting her mother.

And when we got back I'd start looking for Christmas presents. We were spending Christmas in Forks, like every year. The whole big, family Christmas had become a tradition that I looked forward to every year.

And I really had to finish the music for Eric. The actual deadline wasn't until after the holidays, but I wanted to get it out of the way. I knew where I was going with the songs, I just had to get there. Shouldn't be too hard, if I could just manage to focus on what I was supposed to do.

I managed to keep my mind busy like this while I ran past other joggers and people with dogs. I didn't let my thoughts wander once, and when I got back to the house after an hour, I was proud of myself. I took a quick shower and then left the house again, this time in the car.

I got to the doctor's office before Bella, and pulled into an empty space to wait for her. A few minutes later, she parked a couple of spaces away and I got out of the car.

"Hey," she greeted me with a weak smile.

"Hey," I replied, taking her hand. "You OK?"

"Just nervous, you know," she replied.

The same nurse that had been behind the desk the last time we were here welcomed us with a smile.

"You can just go on through, Doctor Wallace is waiting for you."

"Thanks," Bella replied with a small smile.

Outside the door to the doctor's office, she stopped. I saw her close her eyes and take a deep breath.

"It's going to be fine," I mumbled, squeezing her hand again, wishing there was something more I could do, knowing there wasn't.

"I know." She looked up at me, but I could still see the anxiety in her eyes.

"Come on, let's get this over with," I said, knocking on the door.

"Come in!"

I opened the door and halfway pulled Bella with me into the room. Doctor Wallace smiled when she saw us and walked around the desk to greet us.

"It's good to see you again," she said, shaking my hand. Then she turned to Bella with a smile. "See, three months wasn't too bad, was it?"

Bella smiled weakly in return.

"I guess not."

"Why don't we have a seat?" the doctor suggested, gesturing to the visitors' chairs before sitting down in her own. "How are you feeling?"

Bella shrugged. "I haven't really started feeling anything yet, but I guess it's a little early for that."

"That wasn't actually what I was referring to," Doctor Wallace said. "I was wondering more about how you feel about this on an emotional level? Both of you. Have you been able to really deal with what happened this summer?"

Bella looked up at me and I tried to give her an encouraging smile.

"I think so," she said slowly. "I mean, I know that this isn't something that we'll ever forget, and I don't want that. But I think that we've dealt with it the best way we could. We had a sort of memorial service, just the two of us, after we had been here last time."

The doctor nodded approvingly. "That is always a good idea, to do something to say goodbye. It makes it easier to let go, I think."

"Yeah," Bella agreed. "And Edward's sister-in-law is pregnant, and since we're really close friends, I've spent a lot of time with her. I think that's helped, too."

We had talked about that a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't understood what she meant at the moment, since I hadn't really been around Rosalie that much since her pregnancy really started showing. But in the past few weeks, we had spent quite a lot of time together, the four of us, and I got it now. Seeing Rosalie, seeing that there was something more to this than the pain and loss we had experiences this summer, did make it a little easier. It didn't take the anxiety away, not at all, but it helped a little. Made me see that maybe, just maybe, things could work out like that for us too.

"I haven't actually had a patient who's been in a situation like that before, but I can imagine that it makes it a little easier," Doctor Wallace noted.

"It does." Bella nodded. "I think that, even if you have dealt with the loss, it's a whole other thing to deal with a new pregnancy. And by being around someone who's pregnant, I've already sort of done that. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but…" She trailed off, and I squeezed her hand.

"Well, that's a good thing, since your blood test is positive, which I'm sure you've figured out."

I saw Bella smile next to me, and tried to make my expression match hers. My mind was resisting, wanting to block out the information, not let it make me vulnerable.

I felt numb, like I was watching from somewhere far away the rest of the visit. The small talk about eating habits, keeping stress to a minimum, the examination, when the doctor calculated the due date. July 19th. That felt like a good date. My mind wasn't taking any of it in, not really.

_A defense mechanism,_ the logical part of my brain told me. Sure, I knew the word, I knew how that worked. But I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't completely snap out of it until we left the office. I made a deal with myself in the car on the way home. I'd let my mind do whatever it was it was doing to try to protect itself. There really didn't appear to be anything I could do about that. But I wouldn't let Bella see any of it. She had to think that I was completely in on this, as excited as she seemed to be.

And just hope that the numbness would disappear at some point, and I would be. I wanted to be.

**Bella**

As soon as Doctor Wallace said the words I had been waiting for, I felt all the anxiety disappear. I had been worried that I was wrong.

I felt the joy bubbling inside me on the way home. I had to pick up Lily in an hour, but we would have time for some lunch first. As soon as we got home, Edward started chopping up vegetables for a salad, and I sat down at the table to watch. He wouldn't let me do anything anyway. Bella and knives didn't go very well together.

"You OK?" I asked after a while. He seemed a little tense.

"Sure," he said, turning to me with a smile. "Just trying to take it all in, I guess. I don't think I'm quite there yet."

"I know," I said, getting up to lean against the counter next to him. "It's scary. I'm scared too." I knew the smile on my face contradicted the words, but I was. For some reason, though, I wasn't as scared as I had been only a couple of weeks ago and I tried to explain that to myself and him. "But I have a… I don't know, a good feeling about this. Maternal instinct or whatever. I really think things will work out this time."

It was true. I had been surprised by the intense longing to tell our friends and family the moment we left the doctor's office, since I had wanted to wait to do that last time. But I thought I understood that now. My body had somehow known that something was wrong. I moved so that I could wrap my arms around him from behind and leaned my head against his back.

"It's going to be OK."

xxxxx

The next day, we were on a plane to Florida. Thanksgiving passed in a blur of food, walks on the beach and sunshine. I felt like I'd hardly had time to blink before we were back on a plane again. I wasn't sure when we would be able to see Renée and Phil again, since we wouldn't be able to visit this summer, and felt a few tears on my cheek. Overly active tear ducts, check!

When we got back to Seattle, I started noticing small changes. My appetite was the first thing that started acting up. Suddenly, I was starving – all the time. It didn't matter if I had just had a large pizza, I was still hungry. And a couple of weeks later, the fatigue set in. I was so tired in the mornings, Edward had to drag me out of bed and shove me into the shower to wake me up. And every night, I passed out on the couch in front of the television, sometimes even before Lily had gone to bed. I stopped eating minced meat altogether after Edward's amazing pasta Bolognese had almost made me throw up one night.

It was like all the symptoms from when I was pregnant with Lily had come back, ten times worse.

The second check-up, a few days before Christmas, went fine. Doctor Wallace assured us that everything was going according to plan and that there was no need to worry at all. She scheduled the three-month check-up – with an ultra sound – for January twenty-second.

The holidays were a quiet affair in Forks. Most of the attention was focused on Rosalie, of course, who complained about 'being about to pop' at any moment, despite the fact that she still had four weeks to go. Looking at her, though, I had to believe her.

A couple of days after we got back to Seattle, I couldn't button my jeans. I hurried into the bathroom so I could look at myself in profile, and, sure enough, there was a distinctive bump there. I didn't have to count in my head to make sure. Today marked the all-important twelve-week line, and when I woke up this morning I had felt really relaxed for the first time since I took the pregnancy test.

There had not been a bump at this point with Lily, not for another four weeks.

Frowning, I pulled on another pair of pants that I was able to button with a little effort.

I complained to Edward that evening. I was able to keep from falling asleep until after Lily had gone to bed, but just barely.

"I couldn't button my jeans this morning." I could hear that I was whining, but couldn't help it.

"Oh." He frowned. "Isn't that what's supposed to happen?"

"Well, yeah, but not yet. I've already got a bump, and I didn't have that with Lily until week sixteen."

He glanced at my stomach and I pulled my top up so he could see.

"Well…" he started thoughtfully, "maybe you just ate too much during Christmas?" I slapped him on the arm before he could even finish.

My stomach continued to grow at an alarming rate over the next couple of weeks. I stopped wearing tight-fitting clothes altogether – not that I normally wore much of that – but it was almost becoming difficult to hide by the time it was time for the next check-up. I even had to go down in the basement and unearth the first pair of maternity jeans I'd bought nine years ago.

I had been a little worried, since the check-up sort of clashed with Rosalie's due date and we had promised to take care of Noah while they were in the hospital, at least until Carlisle and Esme got to Seattle, but when I called Rose on the morning of the twenty-second, she answered in an annoyed tone.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, just me, calling to check in," I said.

"_Oh. Hi."_

"Still no baby on the way, I take it?"

"_Nope, nothing. Not even one tiny little contraction. And yesterday, my doctor said that they won't even start thinking about inducing labor for another two weeks."_

"I know, it was like that with Lily," I tried to comfort her. "She'll get here when she's ready."

"_I know that, but _I'm_ ready for her to get here _now_. Noah was so punctual, I was hoping it ran in the family."_

"Apparently not." I glanced at my watch. I was leaving in fifteen minutes to meet Edward at the doctor's office. The odds that something would happen before we were through there were microscopic. "But just call my cell or Edward's when it's time, OK?"

"_Yeah."_ She sighed. _"I wouldn't hold my breath, though. I've got a feeling this kid is going to drag this out as long as possible."_

I had to laugh at that.

"Just hang in there."

I hung up and started tapping my fingers impatiently against the desk, unable to do anything else as I waited for the fifteen minutes to pass. Finally, I grabbed my things and left the office.

Just like at the two previous check-ups, Edward beat me to the doctor's office and was waiting when I got there.

"Hey," he greeted me when I got out of the car, taking my hand.

"Hey," I replied, squeezing his hand. "You ready for this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

There was an odd undertone in his voice, something I'd noticed lately. I glanced up at him, but he was looking straight ahead. He seemed… distant, somehow. I was vaguely reminded of the last few weeks before he had left Forks all those years ago, but it wasn't exactly the same.

And he had been keeping a sort of physical distance for a while. Not to me… well, not to _all_ of me. I remembered last time, how he'd barely been able to resist touching my stomach those first couple of days after we'd found out. And then he'd gotten into a habit of letting one hand rest there whenever we were close together on the couch or in bed. He hadn't touched me like that this time at all, not even when I complained about the bump the other week.

I had thought about asking him what was wrong several times in the last month or so, but figured that it was something he needed to deal with himself. But if he didn't do that soon, I was going to have to do something. It was getting annoying.

I tried not to think of it as we quickly made our way into the building and down the hallway to Doctor Wallace's office.

"Well, hello there," she greeted us with a smile. "Time for the fun part, huh?"

I smiled in return and held my hand out for the inevitable cup.

"Not quite yet," I noted when she handed it to me. I went into the bathroom to do my business and then gave her the full cup when I came back to the room.

"No, not quite," she agreed to my earlier statement. "Some more unpleasant things to take care of first."

I went behind the curtain, changed and then stepped onto the scale. She adjusted the weights once, and then again, and a third time. I was surprised, almost shocked, to see where they landed.

"Are you kidding?" I wondered, running my hand over my stomach through the hospital robe. "I mean, I know there's a bump, but seriously?"

"I take it your appetite's peaked?" Doctor Wallace noted with a smile and I got off the scale. She wrapped the blood pressure gauge around my arm.

"Well, yeah, but…" I trailed off. "I had only put on a couple of pounds at this point when I was pregnant with Lily. Is this normal?"

She took the gauge off and I climbed into the examination chair while she wrote my blood pressure down. Edward came to stand beside me and I took his hand.

"It's really almost impossible to say what's normal and not in these cases," the doctor answered my question as she pulled on the gloves. "Every pregnancy is different. But you are on the far end of the scale of what's normal when it comes to increase in weight."

So it wasn't all in my head. Good to know.

I tried to breathe slowly and evenly as she did the examination, and then relaxed when she was done.

"Well, everything feels fine," she told me with a smile. "You can get dressed again while I set up the machine."

I did as she said and then lay down on the cot next to the ultra sound machine. Edward didn't seem to know where he was supposed to be.

"You can just stand over here, that way you'll get the best view," Doctor Wallace told him, and he went over to the head of the bed.

The doctor squirted the cold gel onto my stomach and then started moving the probe around. After a moment, I heard the much-too-quick flutter of a heart beating.

"Wow," I mumbled and felt Edward's hand tighten around mine. It was still as amazing, even though I was prepared and expecting it.

"Pretty cool, isn't it?" Doctor Wallace directed her question at Edward, and I turned to see him nod. "Now, let's see…" She moved the probe around a little more and I looked at the screen, waiting for the picture. Suddenly, she moved the screen around so we couldn't see anymore and frowned. "Hang on…"

**AN: I know, I know. I'm evil. I just couldn't resist! **


	19. 19 Double Trouble or Double the Joy?

**AN: Wow, the last chapter got tons of reviews! Maybe I should do cliffies more often? Just kidding… Anyway, more than 300 reviews now, you guys really are the best. I'm hoping this story will beat "Hearts in Pain" when it comes to reviews, though, and I really, really need your help with that! So please please please, let me know what you think!! Oh, and it seems like most of you have figured out what is going on, so this won't be much of a surprise… darn!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, not that I think anyone would believe me if I claimed that they were…**

**19 – Double trouble or double the joy?**

**Edward**

"Hang on? What do you mean 'hang on'? What's wrong?" With each word, Bella's voice got a little higher and she squeezed my hand a little harder. By the time she stopped speaking, her hold was so tight it almost hurt.

But I barely felt it. I'd shut down, or something. I was completely numb, my brain analyzing the situation in a frighteningly objective way while I basically stood at the sideline and listened.

_You knew something like this might happen,_ a rational voice said inside me. _You always knew there was a risk that something would go wrong. _Before I had time to give a mental response, the doctor spoke.

"No, no, nothing's wrong. I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

I felt Bella visibly relax, her grasp on my hand loosening, and wondered why I didn't.

"I was just a little surprised, that's all," Doctor Wallace explained and turned the machine back around so we could see. "You see here?"

She indicated the screen, where the image of a baby had appeared. Everything seemed to be in place; head, arms, legs. The rapid sound of heartbeats filled the room. My mind stayed objective, not completely taking the image in. There must be something wrong, otherwise, why would she have reacted like that?

"And then…" She moved the probe around, and the same image appeared again.

"What…?" Bella started, but then paused. "There's… two?"

"Exactly." Doctor Wallace smiled.

Two? Twins?

"Twins?" Bella echoed my exact thought.

"It does appear so," the doctor said, the smile still in place, and moved the probe around a little more so that both appeared on the screen. "Are there any twins in the family?"

She looked at Bella, but Bella looked up at me, an almost accusing expression on her face, so I answered.

"I'm a twin, actually."

"Right. It is generally considered hereditary on the mother's side, though, at least fraternal twins," Doctor Wallace explained. "And there's no consensus on whether identical twins are hereditary at all, so…"

"Gran!" Bella suddenly exclaimed, cutting her off.

"Your grandmother?" the doctor wondered.

"Yeah." Bella sighed. "I didn't think of it at first, because her twin brother died when they were little, but my grandmother was a twin too."

"Well, you've got it from both sides, then," the doctor concluded. "You never stood a chance."

"But they're OK?" Bella wondered nervously.

"Everything is looking just fine. Good, strong heart beats, good size… they're perfect." Doctor Wallace smiled at us.

Her words broke through the carefully constricted wall I didn't know I had put up in my head. I realized that, though I had gone through the motions these past two months – automatically slipped into the slightly too over-protective role Bella had expected, insisting on her eating something healthy with every meal, looking through different websites with her – I had never really let myself believe that this was real. That it would actually happen. I had stayed distant and objective, like just a moment ago, from the beginning. Because I had been afraid of what would happen if I let myself believe and everything went to hell again.

Now, when I saw that clearly, I could let go of that feeling. It was a little overwhelming, because everything washed over me at once. The positive pregnancy test, the bump Bella had been complaining about these past few weeks, the racing sound of two heartbeats, almost in synch, and the image on the screen in front of me.

There really were two babies in there. Our children. The thought seemed… too unbelievable to be true.

I felt moisture in my eyes and realized I was the one clinging to Bella's hand now. I tore my eyes from the monitor and found hers. She was looking up at me, a big smile on her face and tears rolling down her cheeks. I leaned down to give her a kiss.

"I love you," I mumbled against her lips.

"I love you."

"I'll just give you a moment," I heard Doctor Wallace say, and a minute later the door closed behind her.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, and I moved so that I could pick her up and then sat down on the cot with her in my lap. I held her close to me with one hand and let the other rest on her stomach, the 'bump'.

"You OK?" she wondered after a moment, and I let out a sigh.

"Yeah, I am. For the first time in a while, I think." I tried to find the right words, to explain it to her so that she would understand. "I think that I haven't really taken it all in before this."

"I told you it would all feel more real after the ultrasound," she reminded me.

"I know, but that's not what I mean, exactly," I replied. "I don't think that I've _let_ myself believe that this was really happening. My subconscious or whatever has been working very hard to keep a distance, to not let me get too involved. Some kind of defense mechanism, I guess. Just in case…" I trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. I felt her hand cover mine where it still lay against her stomach.

"I know," she said quietly. "I've noticed."

"You have?" I gave her a surprised look. "I wasn't even aware I was doing it myself." But of course, she knew me better than anyone, better than I did, almost.

"But now…?" she started.

"Now… I don't know." I shook my head. "I'm not completely sure what did it, the ultrasound or what Doctor Wallace said, that they're fine, perfect… it's all clear now, almost painfully clear. This _is_ real."

She laughed a little at that.

"Yeah, it is."

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Doctor Wallace wondered from the hallway.

"Of course," Bella called back and moved so she was sitting next to me instead.

The door opened and the doctor came in.

"I took the opportunity to print some pictures for you," she said, handing a stack of photos to Bella. "I got a whole bunch; I figured you'd need them."

She was right about that. I suddenly couldn't wait to tell everyone.

"Thanks," Bella said, putting the pictures in her purse.

"I also have this." Doctor Wallace handed Bella a couple of brochures. "I know you've done the whole Lamaze thing before, but I thought it would be good if you took a class together. This organization is focused on multiple pregnancies and they have classes at the university that I would recommend."

"Yeah, sure." Bella nodded, putting the brochures away as well.

"There's also some information about what to think about when expecting twins."

Bella nodded. "OK, thanks."

"And I think that's it. There are some things that we will have to talk about, but it's still early so we'll get to that next time." Doctor Wallace smiled. "I am sure you're eager to get home and share this news with your family, so just schedule an appointment for two weeks from now with Julie, and I will see you then."

"Two weeks?" Bella asked, pulling her top down and then getting up from the cot. I followed her example.

"Two check-ups a month during the second trimester is standard with twins," the doctor explained. "And then once a week in the third. Just to keep an extra eye on things."

There would be lots of doctor's appointments in the next six months, then. But if that was what was best for Bella and the babies, then so be it. I wouldn't argue.

"We'll do that," I said with a nod and then we hurried out of the office. Bella seemed just as excited as I was. She groaned when she pressed the button to unlock her car.

"I don't want to go back to work!" she complained. "I want to go home and tell Lily. She's going to be so thrilled!"

That was an understatement.

"She's still at school," I pointed out. "And don't you go telling her when you pick her up, I want to be there too!" I gave her a stern look and hoped it would work.

"Right, I forgot. And don't worry, I won't."

"Maybe you could take the opportunity to tell Michelle," I suggested. "Let her know you'll be staying home for a while."

"I probably should," she mused out loud. "She'll need to find a replacement. And I know she's been suspecting that something's up lately. I just sort of wanted to tell the family first, I guess."

"They'll find out soon enough," I reasoned. "Might as well take care of all the practical details right away."

"You're right," she agreed. "I'll go talk to Michelle, and then I'll pick up Lily at two thirty. But you'd better be there when we get home, I don't know how long I'll be able to keep my mouth shut!"

"Don't worry, I will be," I assured her.

She was about to open the door to the drivers' side to get in, but I pushed her back against the side of the car and kissed her hard. She didn't complain at all, and I felt her arms sneak around my neck. After a moment, I pulled back.

"Love you," I whispered in her ear. Her breath was coming in gasps when she answered.

"Love you."

**Bella**

I drove back to the office in a kind of daze. Not that I didn't see where I was going or pay attention to the traffic, but my head wasn't really there. It felt like the pictures in my purse were screaming at me. "Look at us, look at us." When I had parked outside the office and turned the engine off, I couldn't help but pull one out.

I sat there in the car, just looking at the picture, for a long time. I carefully touched the image, tracing their bodies. They were fine. Sure, it wasn't over yet and there were still risks, but they were fine. And my subconscious, or whatever it was that had acted up last time and kept me from talking about it, was telling me that this was it. It _was_ happening. Everything _would_ be fine.

I reluctantly put the photo away and left the car. It was only eleven thirty, so Michelle would still be in her office. I went straight there.

"Hi there," she said when she looked up and spotted me. "Everything OK at the doctor's?"

"Better than OK," I replied, closing the door behind me. She gestured to the visitors' chair and I sat down.

"OK, let me have it," she told me with a smile. I could feel that I had a similar smile on my face, and didn't even try to hide it. There was no way I would be able to.

"I guess you've already figured it out," I assumed.

"I have been suspecting that something is up," she admitted. "I didn't want to say anything, I know what the first few months can be like. But everything looks good?"

"Yeah." I smiled a little wider, pulled one of the pictures from my purse and handed it to her.

"Wow, two birds with one stone," she said, and I laughed. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." I took the photo again and carefully put it away.

"So you want to talk maternity leave?" she wondered, and I nodded.

"I'm not really sure how long I'll even be able to work," I replied, realizing I should have asked Doctor Wallace about that. "I mean, I obviously don't have any experience in this area before, but if it means double everything…"

"Yeah, we'll have to play it by ear," Michelle said with an understanding nod. "But after, I'm guessing you'll want to stay home for a while."

I nodded.

"Yeah. I'll take the three month paid maternity leave and the vacation time I have saved up, but I'll probably stay home longer, since I can." I remembered when I had first started working at Newton's after Lily was born. "But who knows? I might be climbing the walls to get out of that house after a few months."

"I doubt that," she said. "I'll just imagine the worst case scenario… no, not the worst case scenario, because that would be that you never came back, but I'll see if I can find someone on an indefinite basis, at least. I don't want you to feel like you have to rush back to us. You never get that first time back."

I could see where she was coming from. And if I felt like I was leaving the company hanging, that might happen.

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," Michelle disregarded. "Now get back to work, be useful while you're still here!"

I laughed at that and did as she said. I even managed to concentrate on my work – well, more than I would have expected, at least – during the next two hours.

I left the office a little after two and made my way to Lily's school. Since I got there a little early, I settled in to wait. After a moment, a thought occurred to me.

Alice was still teaching the first graders at the school, and they got out at two… she would most likely be in her classroom, cleaning up after the day and planning tomorrow's lessons. I could just drop by and talk to her… But I shrugged the thought off. I knew Edward would want to be there, and it wasn't fair to take advantage of my being at the school.

So I sat thrumming my fingers against the dashboard impatiently for the ten minutes I had to wait.

Finally – finally! – Lily came out from the building and waved when she spotted me. She was still excited about this new arrangement.

"Hey baby, did you have fun at school?" I greeted her when she climbed into the backseat.

"Oh yeah! We played volleyball in Gym, and my team totally won!"

I winced at the mental picture that the word 'volleyball' brought to mind and thanked my lucky star that Lily seemed to have inherited Edward's hand-eye coordination and ability to keep from tripping over her own feet for no good reason. I hoped these new babies would be as lucky, and if not… well, I had spent many years perfecting the act of staying out of the way during Gym.

Lily continued to babble about her day on the way home, and I listened, trying to pay attention. It was a little difficult, since I kept imagining how she would react. I was pretty sure she would be excited – she loved playing with and taking care of her cousin and she had been thrilled when Rosalie had told her about the new baby – but I was suddenly unsure. She had been a single child her entire life, maybe it would be hard for her to suddenly have to share our attention with someone else. Well, two someones, really.

After a couple of minutes, I pulled into the driveway at home and cut the engine. Lily quickly jumped out of the car and skipped off across the lawn to the door. I followed slowly, my new doubt making me a little hesitant.

When I got to the door, I heard Lily's hurried footsteps on the stairs and then Edward called after her.

"Hey, where's the fire? Come here for a moment."

She paused halfway up the stairs and looked down at me, as if asking permission to keep going.

"Come on," I encouraged, closing the door behind me and following Edward's voice into the living room. Lily trudged along a little reluctantly behind me.

"I want to call Catie," she complained, plopping down on the couch next to Edward, crossing her arms over her chest. I sat down on her other side.

"Didn't you just see Catie at school five minutes ago?" Edward pointed out. Lily just shrugged. "Well, it's going to have to wait for a moment, because your mom and I want to talk to you."

"About what?" She tried to hide the curiosity behind irritation, but it shone through. Edward looked over at me, inviting me to start.

"Well…" I began, hesitating a little. How best to word it? "How would you like being a big sister? Like Noah's going to be a big brother soon."

She looked up at me, wide-eyed. Then her eyes flashed to Edward, and when he nodded, a big smile spread on her face.

"Really?" she asked excitedly. "When?"

"Not for another six months or so," Edward explained.

"That's so cool!" she exclaimed. "Is it a boy or a girl? I want a little brother!"

I had to laugh at her enthusiasm.

"Well, we don't know yet and there's really nothing we can do about it. But if we're lucky, we'll get one of each."

"There're two babies?"

"Yeah, twins," Edward said with a smile.

"Like you and aunt Alice!"

"Yep." I took the pictures from my purse and gave her one of them. She looked at it intently for a moment.

"I think that's a boy," she announced, pointing to the baby on the right. "And that's a girl. Can I pick out names?"

"Why don't you think about names that you like, and we'll see, OK?" Edward hedged.

"OK. This is soo exciting!" she jumped off the couch and again sprinted for the stairs, still clutching the photo. "I have to tell Catie!"

"Hang on!" Edward called after her, and she skidded to a stop in the doorway. "We haven't told anyone else yet, so don't mention this to your aunt if you see her in school tomorrow, OK?"

Lily looked disappointed at that.

"Fine."

She continued her way upstairs and after a moment, we heard the door to her room almost slam shut.

"That went well," I said with a sigh of relief, leaning back on the couch.

"You thought it wouldn't?" Edward wondered, taking my hand and pulling me closer to him.

"Well, at first I was sure she would be excited. But then I realized that having a cousin and having a brother or sister isn't quite the same thing." I shrugged. "I was just worried that she wouldn't like having to share."

"I think she's old enough to understand that it doesn't mean that we love her any less, just because we have to pay more attention to these babies in the beginning," Edward reasoned. "But you're right. And that might be a problem, even if she's excited now. We'll just have to remember to keep her in the loop, let her be a part of it."

"That sounds like a plan," I agreed, getting up from the couch. His hand lingered on mine as if he didn't want to let me go. "I am going to go call Renée; she'll be thrilled."

"Lily's probably still on the phone," he pointed out.

"You're right," I realized and sat back down, pulling my cell from my purse.

"Do you want to call Charlie when you've talked to Renée, and then my parents?" he asked while I flipped through the phone book. I hadn't completely learned how to use this phone yet, I'd only had it a couple of months.

"I was actually thinking that we could go up to Forks this weekend," I suggested, finding the right number. "Tell them in person."

"That sounds good," he agreed.

I waited as the phone rang across the country, and was suddenly reminded of another phone call, similar to this one but very different. My hand automatically squeezed Edward's a little tighter, as if needing to make sure he was there.

"_Hello?"_

"Mom, hi!"

"_Bella, hi! __How are things in the cold? Lots of snow?"_

"Some, but it's not so bad," I replied. It felt weird talking about the weather. "How are things in sunny Florida?"

"_You nailed it; sunny. And how's everything? How's Rosalie? Any progress yet, or is she still complaining?"_

I had to laugh.

"Nope, nothing yet. And yes, she's still complaining."

"_I do feel bad for her, don't think I don't. Give her my best, would you? So, are you calling to tell me that you're coming to visit soon?"_ she wondered.

"Well, no," I admitted. "But I have some exciting news!"

"_Now I'm intrigued. Do tell."_

"We're pregnant!" I announced, and I saw the smile on Edward's face widen. Probably matching the one on my face.

"_Oh, baby, that's wonderful! When? Everything's OK? Oh, I have to get time off from work… And Phil, too… Oh, at times like these, I hate living so far away from you!"_

It wasn't the first time she had said that. But Renée loved the sun too much to even consider relocating to Seattle.

"Mom, just relax," I told her. "You don't need to get time off, we're fine. But the timing is a little better this time, July nineteenth. And yes, everything is fine. We had the three-month check-up today."

"_Oh, you have to send me pictures!"_ she gushed. _"OK, July nineteenth, then I should probably book my flight for the week after, right?"_ It was probably half-meant as a joke.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," I said. Of course, I hadn't had the opportunity to do any research on the subject yet, but I was pretty sure that it was normal to not go to full term with twins. "It's twins."

She squealed and I had to pull the phone from my ear for a moment so as not to go deaf.

"_Oh, even better! Double the joy!"_

I had heard that expression before.

"That or double trouble," I retorted, only partially joking. Two hungry, screaming kids, two dirty diapers, two toddlers running in the opposite direction… I was eternally grateful that these genes hadn't decided to kick in last time around; I could only be in one place at a time.

"_It'll be amazing,"_ Renée assured me.

"I know." It would be. I wasn't really complaining mentally; I was too over-the-moon to do that. But I also had a realistic idea about what having two babies at the same time would be like.

"_I am so happy for you, honey. Tell Edward 'congratulations' too, and I will hopefully see you in a couple of months,"_ she hinted cryptically.

"A couple of months?" I asked, picking up on the essential part.

"_I wasn't going to say anything, but… we're most likely coming up for spring break. Phil has been working really hard lately, and he needs some time off, so I thought we'd spend a week in Seattle when I've got time off from work."_

"That would be great!" I had already figured out that there would be no trip to Florida this summer; I would be lucky if I got out of the house at all, let alone onto an airplane.

"_And I will, of course, spend the summer with you, too, now that that's where all the action is going to be."_ She giggled. _"And don't try to talk me out of it, there's no point."_

"Fine, I won't." I remembered the last month and a half before Lily had been born, and shuddered. If I had thought I was uncomfortable then… Maybe having Renée around would be good. Take some of the burden off Edward. He'd probable need it by then.

"_Oh, sweetie, I have to go,"_ Renée said regretfully. _"Phil just got home, and we're going out to dinner. And I have to tell him the big news!"_

"Go, go, have fun."

"_I will expect weekly updates, just so you know,"_ she warned me. _"And not just phone calls, I want pictures too!"_

"No problem, mom. I will be documenting as much as possible," I promised. "Including week-to-week progress pictures." I had done that with Lily too, since Renée wanted to be able to pretend like she was there.

"_That's good. Now get some rest, take it easy, and don't worry about anything,"_ she instructed. _"I'll talk to you soon."_

"Talk to you soon, mom. Bye."

I hit the end button and leaned back against the couch.

"I take it she was excited about the news?" Edward assumed.

"That's an understatement," I replied. "She's probably calling the airlines booking a flight up here in June right now. She insisted on spending the summer here."

He frowned.

"She does know that that's not necessary, right? I mean, _I'm_ here." I could hear an almost imperceptible sadness in his tone and guessed that he was thinking about missing all this with Lily.

"I know, and so does she," I assured him. "But trust me; by then you'll be so sick of me that you'll happily stay at a hotel for a few weeks if she suggests it."

His left arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer, and his right hand came to rest on top of mine on my stomach.

"Not possible," he mumbled in my ear.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I mean, if the symptoms these past few weeks are any indication, my hormones are going to be ten times worse this time," I warned. They hadn't started acting up that much yet, but I knew it was just a matter of time. "And by June I'll be the size of a small whale." I pouted at the idea. It had always amazed me that there was room for one kid in there. I had some trouble imagining how two would fit.

"Insignificant," he insisted. "I'm not going anywhere." I could tell that he wasn't just saying it, even if he tried to sound casual. It was a very serious promise, both to himself and me. A promise I didn't need; I knew he would be here every step of the way.

"I know."

Hurried footsteps on the stairs announced Lily's return before she appeared in the doorway.

"Can I go to Catie's and play and have dinner there?" she asked breathlessly, phone still in her hand.

I was about to say no – the rule was that they had to decide these things a day in advance, to give the one doing the cooking some notice – but Edward beat me to it.

"Sure, but this is an exception," he said, subtly reminding her of the rules.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, rushing back up the stairs.

I raised an eyebrow at Edward when she had disappeared and he shrugged.

"I thought it would give us the opportunity to stop by Alice and Jasper's place," he explained. "And maybe Emmett and Rose."

I actually liked that idea.

"You can't wait to tell them, can you?"

He shrugged again and got a sheepish look on his face.

"Just excited. Besides, you know that Lily won't be able to not talk about this tomorrow. Alice might overhear, and she would be furious that she didn't hear it from us."

I couldn't help but smile at his very lame excuse.

"I'm excited too," I assured him, and he visibly relaxed.

Lily came hurrying back downstairs at that moment.

"Can I go to Catie's now? And can I bring the picture and show her?" she rushed through the words.

"Sure, why not." I got up from the couch. "I'll walk you."

"No, no," Edward objected. "You stay here, I'll take her."

I scowled at him for a moment while Lily disappeared into the hallway.

"I've been waiting for these," I complained and he gave me a confused look. "The kiddie gloves."

"Oh." He frowned. "Sorry, instinctive reaction, didn't even realize I was doing it. You go."

"No, that's OK." I sat back down. "I'm going to call Alice, see if they want company for dinner."

"OK," he happily agreed, leaning down to give me a quick kiss. "Back soon."

I picked up the phone and dialed Alice's work number; she was most likely still at the school. She picked up just as the front door closed behind Edward and Lily.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi!"

"_Hey Bella! I was actually going to call you, but you beat me to it."_

"Really?" I wasn't too surprised; Alice had an uncanny ability to know when I was about to call her. Half the time, she called before I had the chance."

"_Yeah. We haven't talked in a couple of days."_

That was true. And we usually talked, if not every day then at least every other.

"I know. So, are you and Jasper up for some company for dinner tonight? We can bring the food."

"_Sure, that sounds good,"_ she agreed. _"Thai?"_

I thought about the spicy food and realized it was probably not the greatest idea.

"How about Mexican?" I suggested instead, smiling at the memory. If I'd had any kind of craving with Lily, it had been Mexican. And ice cream. But that didn't count.

"_Sure, that works. Seven?"_

"Perfect." We'd have time to stop by Emmett and Rose's place on the way.

"_See you then."_

**Edward**

After we had bundled up – it was January and unusually cold, even for Seattle – I followed Lily out the door and we started down the street toward Donna's place. They only lived a couple of blocks away, so there was no need to take the car. Lily excitedly skipped a few feet ahead of me, and, internally, I wanted to do the same. But since that would probably get me quite a few odd looks from the neighbors, and possibly a phone call to the nice doctors with the straitjacket, I contained the feeling. I could not, however, contain the smile on my face. Nor did I want to.

I tried to keep at least some of my attention on Lily, who was talking a mile a minute in front of me, but my mind insisted on wandering back to the doctor's office, to the sound of two much-too-fast heartbeats and the image on the screen…

"Dad!" Lily's voice brought me out of my musings, and I found her holding the door to Donna's apartment building open. Were we there already? "Are you coming?"

"Sorry, princess."

I quickly followed her into the building and up the stairs and then waited when she had knocked on the door. After a moment, Cole opened and Lily slunk past him into the apartment.

"Hey there kid," I greeted. "Your mom's not home yet?"

Cole watched Lily and Catie all the time – not that we would ever say that word out loud to neither Lily nor Catie, since they would both insist that they didn't need anyone to _watch_ them – but I still wanted to make sure that Donna would be home eventually.

"No, but she'll be home soon," he told me, glancing at his watch. I did the same – it was a little after three thirty and Donna usually got off from work at four.

"Great. Lily wanted to stay for dinner and we said that would be OK, but tell your mom to give us a call if it's a bad time."

"OK, I will. Bye." He closed the door and I went back downstairs and headed home.

When I got back to the house, Bella was exactly where I had left her.

"Donna didn't mind that Lily's staying there for dinner, did she?" she called into the hallway when I was shrugging off my coat.

"She wasn't home, but I told Cole to tell her that she could call us if it was a problem," I said, going into the living room.

"OK, great." She nodded. "I called your parents and told them that we're coming up on Friday, and we're having dinner with Alice and Jasper at seven. Mexican."

"OK, great. Do you want to head over to Rose and Emmett's place before?" If she could hear the poorly hidden enthusiasm in my voice, she didn't comment.

"Sure." She looked at the clock. "Emmett's not home yet, though, is he?"

"You never know with Emmett," I pointed out. "He might have given the last class a free period to get out early." Though that was unlikely. He had been complaining about Rosalie complaining every time I had talked to him in the past month and a half; there was no way he would leave work early to go home. "But Rose'll be there." She was already on maternity leave from work.

"OK, let's go," Bella agreed, getting up from the couch. "I can see that you're not going to relax until we do, anyway." She smirked at me and I realized I was standing in the doorway to the living room and still had my shoes on.

She poked me in the ribs when she passed me, and I followed her back into the hallway.

"You know, if this continues, I'm going to have to get a new winter coat," she complained a moment later when she was zipping up her jacket. "It is only January."

"So you'll get a new coat," I concluded, pulling her cap down over her eyes. She scowled at me as well as she could and then pulled it back up.

"I'm just whining, you know," she said, opening the door.

"I know," I assured her.

"Might as well get used to it."

I chuckled at that while I followed her out the door.

The walk to Emmett and Rosalie's place was even shorter than the one to Donna's. Rose opened the door after the third ring, looking exhausted and with a squirming Noah on her hip.

"Oh thank God!" she exclaimed when she saw us. "Reinforcements!"

She held out Noah to me, and I had no choice but to take him.

"I'm exhausted, and my feet hurt and my back hurts and he's decided that today was a good day to start the obstinate phase," she complained, waddling ahead of us into the living room. "And this one is apparently dead set on becoming a can-can dancer. Or a boxer. Or possibly both."

"Have you been bugging your mom?" I asked Noah, who had stopped squirming and seemed perfectly fine now. He nodded with a mischievous smile on his face. "You know, that's not very nice." He only laughed in response, so I threw him over my shoulder, letting him dangle head-down. Unfortunately, this only made him laugh harder.

In the living room, Bella and Rosa had both sat down on the couch. I put Noah back on the floor and crouched down in front of him.

"Are you going to be good to your mom now?" I asked him sternly and he nodded gravely. "OK then." I released his hand and he quickly ran over to a basket of toys in the corner of the room. Rosalie looked in amazement after him.

"How did you do that?" she wondered, sounding almost accusing. "He's refused to do anything I've said all day."

"Magic," I teased, sitting down in one of the arm chairs.

"Well, do you mind leaving some of that behind? I could definitely use it if he keeps this up."

"I'll try."

"So, what brings you to the neighborhood?" Rosalie asked, changing the subject.

"We do live in the neighborhood," I pointed out. She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Actually," Bella took over, giving me an exasperated glance. I couldn't help it. It was like it was ingrained in my system to tease Rosalie whenever I had the chance. "We have some news."

"Now I'm curious," Rose said with a glint in her eyes. "Please, take my mind off stubborn three-year-olds and kids who don't want to come out when they're supposed to."

Well, that might be difficult.

The front door opened at that moment, and before either of us had a chance to react, Noah rushed into the hallway.

"Daddy!" he exclaimed as he went.

"Hey there, kiddo," we heard Emmett's booming voice. "Anyone home?"

"We're in the living room," Rosalie called back impatiently before focusing back on Bella. "Go on."

But Bella hesitated, waiting for Emmett to come into the room. A moment later, he appeared in the doorway, Noah on his shoulders.

"Well well," he said when he spotted us. "To what do we owe this unexpected surprise?"

"I was just finding that out," Rosalie told him, sounding annoyed.

"Oh. Well, don't let me interrupt." He perched on the armrest next to Rosalie and put Noah back down on the floor. Both Emmett and Rose turned their attention to Bella, who didn't seem to know where to begin.

"Well…" she started. "You know what happened this summer." I could hear her voice shake a little and squeezed her hand. "Anyway, a couple of months ago, we decided that we wanted to give it another go, so…"

"Oh my God, you're pregnant!" Rosalie exclaimed, cutting Bella off.

"Well, that was what I was getting at," Bella replied, and was then taken off guard when Rosalie threw her arms around her.

"Oh, I'm so glad," Rose continued. "I was hoping you wouldn't be too scared to try again. This is great!"

"Congrats, both of you," Emmett piped in.

"Thanks, Em," I said.

Bella and Rosalie pulled apart, both of them wiping at their eyes.

"Stupid hormones!" Rose complained.

"Right there with you," Bella agreed, and then they both started laughing.

Emmett gave me an exasperated look.

"Women!"

Both Rosalie and Bella ignored him.

"Let me look at you," Rosalie ordered, giving Bella a scrutinizing once-over. "There's a definite bump there."

"I know," Bella agreed. "I think I've put on four pounds these past two weeks."

"Oh." Rosalie's eyebrows shot up, and then she quickly controlled her expression. "Well, every pregnancy is different."

"Not that different," Bella told her with a smile. "We're having twins."

"Oh my God!" Rosalie squealed, and Emmett chuckled.

"Don't envy you that, man!" he said, shaking his head. "Two at the same time? One's more than enough!"

"Oh, shut up!" Rosalie slapped him on the arm.

"I think two's even better," I objected. Bella smiled and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Good answer."

**AN: OK, guys, I have pretty much picked out names, but I'm not completely sure I'm going to stick with them, so name suggestions are welcome. Two things though; like Bella (surprise surprise) I'm not into the whole matching names thing, and I want names with some sort of meaning, not just 'because they're cute' (the ones I have picked out at the moment are from Shakespeare and Austen, I thought that fit). And both girl and boy names are welcome, I haven't decided if the twins are going to be identical or fraternal yet.**


	20. 20 Something to Celebrate

**AN: Next chapter, guys – telling the rest of the family. As always, please, please, please let me know what you think!! Reviews brighten my day!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them.**

**20 – Something to Celebrate**

**Bella**

We stayed at Emmett and Rose's place until we had to go home and get the car before going to Alice and Jasper's. On the way, we stopped at our favorite Mexican restaurant and picked up dinner. The food smelled amazing, and my stomach started rumbling in response. No need to say, I was starving.

"So, Emmett was running true to form today," I noted when we pulled into the parking lot outside Alice and Jasper's apartment building. Emmett had been teasing Edward the whole time we were there.

"He's just jealous," Edward replied with a smile, turning the engine off. "He wishes he was this lucky."

We both got out of the car and headed into the building.

"He actually seemed pretty relieved that he wasn't," I pointed out while we waited for the elevator, but Edward just laughed. "I mean, he does have a point. It's going to be pretty tough with two at the same time. You're not the least bit worried?"

"Not really." He shrugged. "I mean, of course it's going to be a lot of work, but it'll be worth it. Are you worried?"

I thought for a moment. He was right, of course. But there were a few things…

"I'm mostly worried that I won't be able to get out of bed in a few months," I said, following him into the elevator.

"I'll see if I can rent a fork lift," he replied with a laugh.

"Very funny." I glared at him.

"I'm sorry." He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer. "I know that you'll be the one who has to carry the heavier burden – no pun intended – but I promise that I will do whatever I can to make it easier for you."

"OK, I forgive you." I leaned my head against his chest. "But I will hold you to that. And even if I don't like the fork lift thing, you might actually need one."

He chuckled as the elevator doors opened.

"I'm sure we'll manage to figure something out."

We got out of the elevator and walked down the hallway to Alice and Jasper's apartment. I knocked on the door and it only took a moment for Jasper to open.

"Hey there," he greeted us, stepping aside. "Alice, they're here!"

We went into the living room at the same time as Alice emerged from the bedroom.

"Hey guys!" She gave me a hug before pulling back to scrutinize us both. "So what's up?"

I sighed and saw Edward shake his head out of the corner of my eye. There was no fooling Alice; she always knew when there was something going on. I was actually surprised that she hadn't called me on this weeks ago; I had been able to tell that she was suspicious.

"I suppose there's no point in denying it," I noted with a smile and watched as a matching one appeared on Alice's face.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around me again. Jasper was watching her incredulously from the couch.

"You knew what exactly?" he asked after a moment.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you!" Alice continued, completely ignoring Jasper's confusion. "How long have you known?"

"About two months, actually," I replied. "We didn't want to… you know."

"I totally get that," she assured me. "But you're out of the woods now?"

"Fifteen weeks," I reported with a smile. "We had the three-month check-up this morning."

Jasper finally understood and slapped Edward, who had sat down next to him on the couch, on the back with a wide smile.

"That's great, man," he said. "Happy for you."

"Thanks, bro."

Alice continued to ignore both her husband and her brother.

"Did you get pictures?" she asked excitedly, and I obediently took one of the remaining photos from my purse; it was a good thing Doctor Wallace had given us some extra. I handed Alice the picture with a smile and waited for her to make the connection. It only took a few seconds.

"There're two!" she exclaimed incredulously, her eyes darting from me to Edward and back to the picture in her hands.

"That's right," Edward confirmed. "Twins."

"Let me see too," Jasper half-complained, and Alice squeezed in between him and Edward on the couch. I sat down on Edward's other side and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"See?" She pointed to the image. "There's one and there's another."

"Wow," Jasper mumbled.

"Tell me about it," Edward agreed. "Needless to say, it caught us a little off guard."

I remembered the flash of mind numbing fear from earlier, but it was greatly overshadowed by the joy now. Already, I couldn't picture it any other way. Of course we would have twins.

"OK, how about if we postpone this until after dinner?" Edward interjected Alice's gushing over the picture after a moment. "The food is getting cold."

Alice reluctantly put the photo away and went into the kitchen to get plates and cutlery.

xxxxx

An hour later, after way too much Mexican food and a forced promise to Alice to go shopping for maternity clothes – I did actually need to – next weekend, we were on our way home.

"Three down, two to go," Edward noted. "I know Esme will be over the moon, but I wouldn't expect as ecstatic a response from Charlie."

I laughed at that. My dad wasn't exactly good at – or comfortable with – showing feelings. He would be happy for us, of course, I knew that, but he wouldn't be as overwhelming about it as Renée, Rosalie and Alice. But maybe that was a female thing as well.

"Oh, well… that's great, kids… er… congratulations," I did a poor impression of Charlie and Edward laughed.

"Something like that," he agreed.

We stopped to pick up Lily on the way home, and Edward waited in the car while I went up to Donna's apartment. She opened as soon as I knocked on the door. When she saw me, a smile spread on her face.

"Hey, I hear congratulations are in order," she said gesturing for me to come in. "Lily has been completely excited, haven't stopped talking about it since I got home."

"She does seem to be thrilled," I replied with a small frown.

"You're worried she won't particularly like the sharing part?" Donna wondered, probably talking from experience.

"She's used to having our full attention." I shrugged. "It must be hard to go from that to having to share it with two babies."

"It'll probably be a little difficult at first, before she gets used to it," Donna noted. "I know I had some trouble with Cole when Catie was born, but Lily's a smart kid. And she's old enough to be able to be involved, so I don't think you need to worry."

"You're probably right," I said with a smile. And, anyway, no need to worry about that now. We'd deal with that if it turned into a problem.

"Mommy!" Lily interrupted us, coming into the living room with Catie close on her heels.

"Hey, baby, you ready to head home?"

The smile on her face turned into a frown.

"Do I have to?" she wondered disappointedly.

"Well, it is after eight, and it is a school night, so yes."

"Aw," she sighed.

"Maybe you and Catie can have a slumber party next weekend?" I suggested to placate her a little. I couldn't stand the disappointed look on her face right now. Hormones, probably. Edward might have to take care of the discipline these next six months. Not that he was that good at saying no to her, come to think of it…

"Yay!" both Lily and Catie exclaimed together.

"But right now, we have to go," I told Lily. "Your dad's waiting in the car."

"OK," she half-grudgingly agreed, trudging off into the hallway. Catie followed her.

"They can stay at our place," I assured Donna. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that."

"No, that's fine," Donna shrugged it off. "You know she's always welcome here. Besides, you might want to get some peace and quiet in there before all hell breaks loose."

I laughed half-heartedly at that, knowing how true her words would be soon enough.

"Yeah," I replied. "The whole 'two to feed, two to dress, two to change, two to burp', all of that is still a little overwhelming. I mean, I'm sure we'll get into it soon enough, but one was plenty."

"I know." She patted my shoulder. "But you were seventeen, on your own and completely new at this. You have Edward now, and I'm sure there are plenty of volunteers if you need a break. I've seen your parents and Edward's family with Lily, I have no doubt they'll step in and give you a hand when you feel like it's all too much."

She was right, of course. We'd never have to ask for baby sitters, we'd have plenty of volunteers.

"Thanks, Donna."

"Don't mention it."

"I'm ready," Lily announced from the hallway and Donna and I made our way there.

"Great, let's go." I opened the door for Lily and turned around to say goodbye to Donna. "I'll talk to you soon."

**Edward**

Friday afternoon, we all piled into the Volvo and took off in the direction of Forks. The roads were covered in snow, so the drive took a little longer than usual, but a few minutes after eight, we pulled up in front of my parents' house.

"Seriously?" I looked up to see Bella frowning at the car's thermometer and followed her gaze. Five degrees. It had stayed around thirty-two since New Year's, with the occasional drop to between twenty and twenty-five, but hadn't been this cold before.

"I don't think I remember the last time it was this cold," I noted, turning the engine off reluctantly. The idea of staying in the nice, warm car instead of going out into the freezing night was very tempting. But we had to get inside at some point. Might as well get it over with.

"You know, it's at times like these that I seriously consider moving to some place that's a little warmer. Just for the winter season."

"I know what you mean," I agreed. "But there's no avoiding it now, we have to go out in the cold."

Bella groaned next to me.

"There's a lot more snow here than at home," Lily pointed out from the backseat, apparently unconcerned with the temperature. "Can we make a snow man tomorrow?"

"Sure, princess," I told her, making a mental note to wear a lot of layers. No need to risk frostbites. I turned to Bella. "You two head on inside, I'll get the bags." I half-expected her to argue with me; she had been complaining all week that I was too overprotective and wouldn't let her do the simplest things. And maybe I was.

But she hurried out of the car, took Lily by the hand and rushed into the house. I went around to the trunk and got our bags before following them inside. My hands felt like ice when I finally put the suitcases down inside the door. Should have worn gloves.

"Hello, darling," Esme said with a smile. She released Lily and gave me a hug as well. "Thank God you're finally here, I was starting to worry."

"We took it slow, since the roads are kind of icy," Bella told her.

"That's good." Esme let me go and nodded. "Don't want you to get into any unnecessary accidents."

"Where's dad?" I asked, trying to distract her. She worried too much.

"He should be home any second, he called a little while ago when he left the hospital." She glanced at the clock and seemed to ponder whether or not to start worrying. Luckily, the sound of a car was heard from outside just then, and a moment later, Carlisle came in through the front door.

"I thought you might beat me here," he noted with a smile, giving Lily a hug and then Bella a kiss on the cheek. "But only just, I see."

"Snowy roads," I offered as an explanation. "And we stopped for dinner, too."

"Oh, good," Esme said. "You're not hungry then?"

"No, mom, we're fine," I assured her.

"Well, what are we all standing around here for?" Carlisle wondered. "I think I know someone who wants to turn the television on." He winked at Lily.

"The penguins!" she exclaimed before rushing into the living room. A moment later, we heard the television being turned on to what sounded like Disney Channel.

"She does love that show," Esme noted, shaking her head.

"She really has a thing for penguins," Bella agreed.

"She does." Esme nodded, turning to Carlisle. "You're food is in the oven, darling." She gave Bella and me questioning looks. "Are you sure you're not hungry? There's more than enough."

"Actually…" Bella started, glancing at me. "I think I'll have some."

I laughed quietly. Of course. She was always hungry.

"I'll take these upstairs," I said, picking up the bags. "You go eat."

I hurried up to the third floor, dropped our bags in our rooms and went back downstairs. In the car, we had talked about how to tell Carlisle and Esme our news, and when Lily had pleaded for five minutes straight, we had decided to let her tell them. I knew that she wouldn't be able to keep quiet for long, and I wanted to be there to see the looks on my parents' faces.

When I got back to the first floor, I found Bella and Carlisle at the dining table and Lily and Esme on the couch in the living room. I joined the latter and tried to figure out what Lily found so entertaining about the TV-show. I had never really gotten the fun part of the penguins.

I could tell that Lily wasn't completely focused on the show, though, because her foot was tapping an impatient rhythm against the floor and every now and then she threw a glance at me, then Bella.

The show had just ended when I heard Bella, then Carlisle, get up from the dining table. They both went into the kitchen with their plates and then came into the living room. Bella took a seat next to me on the couch and Carlisle claimed one of the armchairs. Lily was practically bouncing in her seat by now.

"Can I tell them, can I tell them?" she asked eagerly as soon as Bella had sat down. She gave me a glance, and I shrugged.

"Sure, go ahead," she agreed.

"I'mgonnabeabigsister!" The words were said so quickly that they blended together and were nearly unintelligible. The only reason I understood them was because I knew what she was saying.

Esme looked at Lily, confusion evident on her face. Carlisle frowned.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you're going to have to repeat that," he told her.

"I'm getting a little sister and a little brother," she said, a little slower this time. Then she frowned. "At least I think so. Mom says we can't know for sure yet."

Before she had finished speaking, Esme threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I saw Carlisle do the same with Bella next to me.

"Oh, honey, I'm so glad," Esme murmured in my ear, and I heard the tears in her voice. "I knew you would get this, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, mom," I mumbled back, a little overwhelmed by her rush of feelings.

She let me go and gave Bella an equally tight hug. Carlisle beamed at me from his arm chair.

"But did Lily say a sister _and_ a brother?" he wondered.

I nodded. "We're having twins."

"You can even see them, kind of," Lily said, crawling over me to get to Bella. She pulled the loose top Bella was wearing tight around her abdomen. "Look!" Lily had been thrilled when Bella had showed her the bump the other day.

"I see, sweetie." Esme nodded. "How long?"

"Fifteen weeks," Bella replied, turning to dig through her purse. A moment later, she produced two ultrasound pictures and handed one to Carlisle and one to Esme.

"Oh, look at that." Esme sounded like she was about to start crying. She touched the picture reverently.

"And everything looks good?" Carlisle asked, his medical instincts kicking in.

"Yeah," I told him, relieved to be able to say the words. "The doctor said that everything was great. They're both a good size and the heartbeats sounded good."

"Did you get a preliminary date yet?" Esme wondered.

"July 19th," Bella revealed, grimacing slightly. "But that was before we knew there were two. It'll probably be earlier now. I'm hoping for an unusually rainy and cold summer. If it's hot, I might camp out in your pool for the last couple of weeks."

We all laughed at that.

"I think this calls for celebration," Carlisle announced after a moment, going into the kitchen and returning with five glasses – two of them already filled with what I assumed was something non-alcoholic – and a bottle of champagne. He handed one glass to me and one to Esme. "Sorry, Bella, you're going to have to make do with some sparkling water."

"Don't worry, it's fine," she assured him, taking the two glasses from him and giving Lily one. "I take it you just had that lying around in the fridge?"

"Well, we did actually have something else to celebrate, but I think that's been forgotten for the moment," he replied, and I gave him a questioning look.

"Your father's been promoted," Esme said with a big smile on her face. "He's going to be the new chief of staff when Doctor Rollins retires next month."

"That's great, dad, you really deserve that."

"Yeah, Carlisle, congratulations," Bella added.

"The only thing it really means is more paperwork," Carlisle tried to downplay it, shrugging, but I could see that he was really excited. "But I do get to run the place the way I want, at least to an extent, and there are a few things I want to change. So it's going to be interesting." He poured champagne into our glasses and then raised his in a toast. "To new additions!" We all raised our glasses as well and clinked them with his.

"And new jobs," I added.

"What's that?" Lily asked after a moment, pointing at my glass.

"Champagne," I told her. "It has alcohol in it, so that's why you and your mom can't have any."

"I can't try, even a little?" she complained.

I glanced at Bella, who shrugged with an amused smile.

"OK, but only a little," I said, handing the glass to Lily.

She looked at it for a moment, then sniffed the contents suspiciously before taking the smallest zip possible. A moment later, her entire face scrunched up.

"Gross!" she announced, giving the glass back. The rest of us laughed.

"Guess we won't have to worry about her getting into drinking for a while," Bella noted when we were climbing the stairs a couple of hours later. Lily was already in bed.

"You knew she would react like that, didn't you?"

"I had a pretty good idea." She shrugged. "I mean, let's face it, champagne doesn't actually taste _good_. That's why you only drink it at special occasions."

"I suppose that's true," I agreed, then frowned. "But did you have to bring up the 'drinking' thing? I really don't want to start thinking about that yet!"

All I got in reply was a laugh.

**Bella**

On Saturday, we went to Charlie's for lunch to fill him in as well. Sue had made her special veal chops, and both Seth and Leah and her fiancé, Nick, were there.

We had told Lily that she could be the one to tell Charlie and Sue as well, and she was just as impatient as last night. I could tell this partly because she could barely sit still, partly because she hadn't asked if she could play with Madison when we got there.

When everyone had finished eating and Sue started clearing the table, Lily shot me a pleading look, and I nodded at her.

"OK, go ahead."

"I'm going to be a big sister!" she announced with a big smile on her face, and I could tell that she was struggling to speak slowly and not jumble the words like last night.

Sue froze in the middle of the floor on her way back to the table, and Charlie's eyes widened. After a moment, a matching smile spread on both their faces. Leah was the first to react.

"Congratulations, both of you," she said, giving me a one armed hug, since she was sitting next to me. "I was actually starting to wonder when you were going to go for number two."

I tried not to think about the stab of pain her words brought with them. We hadn't told Charlie about the miscarriage, so there was no way she could know.

"Two and three, actually," Edward said, squeezing my hand under the table.

"Twins, that's wonderful!" Sue exclaimed, taking the few steps needed to give me a big hug. I hugged her back and then, when she let me go to move on to Edward, I glanced at Charlie, who still hadn't said anything.

"You OK there, dad?" I wondered a little cautiously. He wasn't exactly young anymore; maybe it hadn't been a good idea to spring our news on him like this, without any kind of warning.

"Of course, Bells," he replied, sounding a little dazed. "That's… wow. Just… wow."

Lily, who was over her little announcement and getting impatient for completely different reasons, jumped off her chair.

"Can I go play with Madison?" she asked eagerly. "I can't wait to tell her!"

"Sure, go ahead," Edward told her. "We'll pick you up later."

She rushed out of the room, and a moment later, we heard the front door open and then almost slam shut.

I took the last spare copy of the ultrasound picture from my purse and gave it to Sue, who had sat back down next to Charlie at the table. It was a good thing Doctor Wallace had given us eleven copies; Lily had quickly claimed one, one was pinned to the fridge at home, I had one in my wallet and so did Edward and we had given copies to Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, Angela and Ben, Jacob and Vanessa, and, last night, Carlisle and Esme. I had scanned the image into the computer as well, e-mailing a copy to Renée and Phil.

When we left half an hour later, Charlie was still marveling at the photo.

xxxxx

We went back to Seattle on Sunday afternoon, and on Monday morning, I decided to stop trying to hide the bump. With the rate I was gaining weight, it would be pointless in a few weeks anyway. And now I _wanted_ people to see it.

I got congratulatory wishes all day at the office, and my smile widened impossibly with each one. I remembered the looks and whispers and outspoken comments I'd gotten from the kids at school last time, and that memory only made it better.

At noon, I called the organization Doctor Wallace had told us about and signed us up for one of their courses. When I had been reading up on twin-pregnancies on the internet, I had seen that it was recommended to take Lamaze classes and things like that during the second trimester instead of the third, like with regular pregnancies, because of the increased risk of premature birth that twins presented. I tried not to think too much about that last part. I was going to ask Doctor Wallace about that at the next check-up, and until I knew the actual statistics, I refused to get worked up.

On Tuesday morning, it felt like my head had barely hit the pillow when my alarm went off. I fumbled around on my bedside table until I found the offending clock and turned it off. Only the sound didn't stop.

Reluctantly, I forced my eyes open. It was 2.47 in the morning. I frowned at the numbers, and finally realized that the annoying sound was the phone ringing.

"Turn it off," Edward mumbled behind me and I reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Bella? Thank God, I thought you were never going to answer,"_ Emmett's stressed voice came over the line.

"It's three in the morning," I complained.

"_I did know that, believe it or not. These things aren't really that easy to plan, or we would have chosen a better time."_ I noticed the sarcasm in his voice, even through the stress. _"Anyway, we'll be there in a few minutes, if you or Edward can just come get Noah."_

My mind, still not working properly, finally made the connection.

"It's started?" I rubbed my eyes with my free hand and pulled myself up into a sitting position.

"_Yeah, about three minutes apart now so we're heading in."_ I heard Rosalie yell something in the background.

"OK, I'll be right down."

I hung up the phone and threw the covers aside. I thought Edward had gone back to sleep, but he got out of the bed at the same time as I did and tossed me my comfy pants.

"They're dropping Noah off?" he asked, still sounding barely awake, but apparently understanding what was going on.

"Yeah," I replied, pulling the pants on and then wrapping my robe around me. "I'll go get him, you go back to bed. He's probably asleep, anyway, I'll just put him down." One of the spare bedrooms had been equipped with Lily's old toddler bed for several weeks, awaiting this day.

"I'm up, anyway," he said, throwing on some clothes before following me downstairs.

Emmett's car was already outside and he was opening the door to the backseat where Noah was asleep in his car seat.

"I've got him," Edward told Emmett before he picked Noah up. I went to the passenger side, where Rosalie was sitting, leaning against the seat with closed eyes and breathing heavily. I opened the door.

"Hey, Rose, how're you holding up?"

She nodded without opening her eyes.

"OK. But I want the drugs," she said through clenched teeth.

"I know the feeling," I replied. "Just hang in there, it'll be over soon."

Emmett got in the drivers' side at that moment and started the car.

"Call us when it's over," I instructed before closing the door. He nodded and then the car sped off down the street.

"Let's get back inside before he wakes up," Edward suggested, and I followed him back into the house. We put Noah to bed and then returned to our own. I was asleep within seconds.

xxxxx

The next time I woke up, I swiped at the alarm clock, and the annoying ringing stopped. Time for work. I went to wake Lily up and check on Noah, who was asleep, before I hit the shower.

When I got out of the shower, Edward was awake.

"They haven't called yet," he noted with a glance at the clock.

"These things take time, you know," I replied, shrugging. "Or maybe they didn't want to wake us up again."

As if on cue, the phone rang at that exact moment. It was still on my bedside table, so I answered.

"Hello?"

"_Hey kiddo!"_ Emmett greeted in his usual, booming voice, all traces of stress gone.

"Hey, how did it go? Are they OK?"

"_Yeah, yeah, everything went fine. A girl – no surprise there – born at 4.17 A.M. on January 29__th__. Twenty-two inches and eight pounds, five ounces. Ten fingers, ten toes and one hell of a set of lungs."_

"Oh, that's great." I let out a sigh of relief. You never knew what could happen. "Is Rose asleep?"

"_Yeah, she's been out a little while. I wanted to call everyone, but I think I'll go join her soon. Might as well get as much shut-eye in as possible before the little monster claims our attention."_

"Sounds like a plan," I agreed with a smile. "We'll let you get some rest, then, and maybe stop by when Lily gets out of school. You're at the hospital on Ballard, right?"

"_Yeah."_ I heard him yawn. _"And mom and dad are driving down, so they'll stay at the house with Noah until we're released from here."_

"You know we don't mind having him here," I told him. But of course Esme and Carlisle would jump at any excuse to spend some time with their grandson.

"_Yeah, I know. But they're coming down, anyway."_

"Of course. You go get some sleep now, and we'll stop by this afternoon."

"_I will. Give Noah a kiss from me, will you?"_

"Sure thing," I assured him.

"Everything went OK?" Edward asked before I had even put the phone down.

"Yeah. She was born at 4.17 and was twenty-two inches and eight pounds five ounces," I reported.

At that moment, Lily burst into the room, already dressed. She had been getting better at getting out of bed in the morning lately; I didn't have to drag her out of it anymore.

"Why is Noah here?" she demanded. "Did aunt Rosalie have the baby?"

"She did," Edward told her. "Is Noah awake?"

"No, he's sleeping." Lily climbed into my side of the bed. "Can we go see the baby?" she wondered eagerly.

"After school," I said, pulling a brush through my wet hair.

"Can't we go now?" she pleaded.

"You have school and I have work, so no. And aunt Rose and uncle Emmett need to get some rest, they've had a long night. Go downstairs and get some breakfast," I instructed. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Fine," she grudgingly agreed, trotting off out into the hallway and down the stairs.

I got dressed quickly and dried my hair.

"You're good with Noah for today?" I wondered when I reentered the bedroom. "Your parents are coming down from Forks, so they should be here in a couple of hours."

"I'm perfectly capable of looking after him," Edward replied with a smirk. "I have been babysitting him since he was born, remember?"

"I know, just wanted to make sure."

I went into the room where Noah was sleeping to see if he had woken up, and he had.

"Hi sweetie." I crouched down on the floor next to the bed where Noah was rubbing his eyes and looking around him.

"Where mama?" he said after a moment.

"Your mom and dad are at the hospital. Remember that you're getting a baby sister?"

He nodded.

"We'll go visit them later today, OK?" I told him and ruffled his hair. "But you're going to hang out with uncle Edward today, and then grandma and grandpa are coming to visit."

"Unca Ewad!" Noah exclaimed happily. "Pway awl day!"

"That's right." I picked him up and carried him into our bedroom. "Someone's eager to play with you," I said, putting Noah down on the bed. He immediately jumped on Edward's stomach.

"Ouch, kid," he complained.

"You seem to have the situation under control," I noted with a smile. "I'll go make some breakfast."

"We'll be down in a minute."

I left the bedroom, the occasional "ow" and "hey" following me down the stairs.

Lily had made herself a bowl of cereal, and I popped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster before pouring some for myself.

"Can we go to the hospital right away after school?" Lily wondered when I sat down at the kitchen table. "Like, really right way?"

"Sure," I assured her.

"I bet she's really pretty," she mused.

"I'm sure she is."

**Edward**

I spent the morning, after Bella and Lily had left for work and school, entertaining Noah. He wasn't difficult; give him a ball and he'd be busy for hours. The only problem was keeping said ball away from anything breakable… By ten, I decided I'd been acting as the protector of windows and lamps for long enough, and replaced the ball with the television.

A little after eleven, my parents arrived. I could see the excitement evident on their faces even before they got inside. Esme wanted to head over to the hospital right away, but Carlisle convinced her to wait a little, give them a little time to relax before we barged in on them.

After lunch, he finally gave up and agreed to go. Esme's winning argument was that Bella, Lily and I were going there as soon as Lily got out of school, so they should leave before that. They took Noah with them when they left, so we wouldn't have to worry about dropping him off at Emmett and Rose's place later.

When they had left, I called Bella at the office.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey."

"Hi. Did your parents get here?"

"Yeah, they just took Noah to the hospital to see the baby," I told her. "It took all of mine and Carlisle's powers of persuasion to keep Esme in the house that long, believe me."

I heard her laugh over the line.

"So, are you going to stop by here after work, and then we'll pick Lily up before we head over to the hospital?"

"_Yeah, I thought so,"_ she replied. _"Unless I get stuck in traffic, but I'll call you in that case."_

"Great. I'll see you in a while, then. Love you."

"_Love you."_

I hung up the phone and leaned against the kitchen counter, my eyes fixed on the ultrasound picture pinned to the fridge. I could feel a smile spread on my face when I thought about the fact that not too long from now we would be the ones in Emmett and Rosalie's shoes.


	21. 21 Hormones and Cravings

**AN: Another update for you guys. Title is pretty much self-explanatory – the hormones and cravings set in! How will Edward deal with it? Read to find out… and let me know what you think, please, please, pretty please with sugar on top? **

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. But sometimes it's nice to pretend…**

**21 – Hormones and Cravings**

**Bella**

Edward was waiting in front of the house when I pulled up to the curb after work that afternoon, despite the fact that it was freezing outside.

"I see Lily's not the only one who's excited," I noted in an amused voice when he got into the passenger seat.

"Oh, be quiet."

I laughed, but didn't say anything else. I was excited too, after all.

School was already over and Lily was waiting outside the building when we got there, practically bouncing up and down on the sidewalk when she spotted the car. She quickly jumped into the back seat.

"Let's go!"

Both Edward and I laughed at the eagerness in her voice. But I did as she said and within a few minutes, we pulled into the parking lot at the hospital. I didn't see Carlisle's Mercedes anywhere, so he must have been able to convince Esme to leave – at least for a little while. Or, as was more probable, he had taken Noah home for a while and left Esme here. We parked and went into the building, where a woman in her forties was sitting behind a reception desk.

"Rosalie Cullen?" Edward asked.

"Let me see here…" She turned her attention on the computer screen on the desk in front of her for a moment. "Right, the maternity ward. Just take the elevator around the corner up to the third floor, and she's in room 365. There are nurses up there if you get lost."

"Thank you," I said, offering the woman a smile before I followed Edward and Lily, who had already hurried off in the direction of the elevators.

On the third floor, there was another reception, this one unoccupied. But there were signs pointing out in which direction the different rooms were, so we found 365 without a problem. The door was slightly ajar, but I still knocked on it before opening it and we heard Emmett call, "Come in," from inside.

"Hey guys," I greeted as we entered the room. Lily, who had been unable to stand still in the elevator and skipped down the corridor, was suddenly very quiet and motionless next to me.

"Hey, perfect timing," Rosalie said with a smile from the bed. "Carlisle and Esme just left five minutes ago with Noah."

"Was there threat of some sort of bodily harm involved?" Edward asked incredulously. "I doubt mom would have left for anything less."

"You're not far off," Emmett agreed with a chuckle from where he was sitting in a chair next to the bed with the still – to our knowledge – unnamed most recent member of the Cullen family. She looked unbelievably tiny in Emmett's huge arms. "I seriously thought dad would have to knock her out and carry her to the car, or at least drag her kicking and screaming, but she only argued for ten minutes before he managed to convince her that they would just be gone for a little while, and would come back as soon as you left."

"I'm impressed," Edward noted, shaking his head.

"How're you feeling?" I asked Rosalie, sitting down in the chair on the other side of the bed from Emmett. "Everything went OK?"

"It did." She nodded. "Once I got the epidural, it was fine. Quick, too. We were admitted at three, I think, and it was all over by four thirty." She looked at Emmett for confirmation, and he nodded.

"They do say that it's usually faster the second time around," I remembered having heard somewhere. I hoped that was true, and that it wouldn't take twelve hours this time too. Though I had been told I had gotten off easy with Lily, and that twelve hours for a first-time-mother was really nothing.

Lily had gone over to Emmett's side of the bed and was standing next to him, still very quietly, and was watching the sleeping baby with wide eyes. I glanced at Edward, who was standing by the foot of the bed, and saw him watch her with a smile on his face.

"You want to hold her?" Emmett asked Lily. She looked at him like he was crazy.

"I won't hurt her?" she wondered.

"Of course not." He chuckled. "Unless you drop her."

Instinctively, Lily took a step back and hid her arms behind her back, shaking her head. I shot Emmett a glare; was it necessary to put that image in her head?

"I don't want to," Lily said in a small voice. "I don't want to drop her."

"He's just kidding, baby," Rosalie assured her, mimicking my glare at Emmett. "Why don't you climb into the bed, that way you can just hold her in your lap?"

Before Lily had a chance to ponder that too much, Edward had picked her up and put her down on the foot of the bed.

"Hold your arms like this," he instructed, forming her arms. Emmett got up from the chair and carefully put the baby in Lily's arms. She moved a little and yawned, but didn't wake up. I watched as the wonder spread on Lily's face.

"So, is she a Noelle or a Savannah?" I asked.

"Neither, actually," Rose replied. "They don't fit at all."

I looked at the little girl more closely, and realized she was right.

"So what have you come up with instead?" Edward wondered.

"We're actually going with Elizabeth," Emmett told us with a smile.

"Ellie for short," Rosalie continued.

"Ellie," I tasted the name a little. "Ellie Cullen. It's absolutely perfect."

"Have you started thinking about names yet?" Rosalie wondered. "You know, before you know it, they'll be here and if you haven't put some serious thought into it, you'll have to improvise. And that never ends well."

"I know." I looked up at Edward. "We should probably start thinking about it. "

"You're right," he agreed, nodding. "How about if we both come up with one girl name and one boy name? That way we'll be covered either way. And if it turns out to be one of each… we'll just have to fight about it."

Rose, Emmett and I laughed at that.

"Sounds good."

"You said that I could pick out names," Lily pointed out.

"No, I think we said that you could pick out names that you liked, and we'd think about it," Edward corrected.

She frowned at that, looking like she was about to object.

"How about if we all think about names that we like, and then we'll decide together?" I suggested quickly. Lily's expression brightened immediately, but Edward shot me an exasperated look.

"You do realize that Lily will come up with Disney-related names, right?" he pointed out later that night, when Lily was in bed.

"I do, actually," I replied. "But I am counting on being able to convince her to go with one of our suggestions."

"You're having a hard time saying no to her at the moment, aren't you?" he said thoughtfully.

"I am, I know." I sighed. "I don't know, maybe it's the hormones."

He laughed at that.

"As long as that's the worst they'll do," he joked. Or, at least I hoped he did.

"I highly doubt it." I had started waiting for the waterworks weeks ago, but so far, they had failed to make an appearance.

Unfortunately, I didn't have to wait very long. Saturday morning, with Lily at Catie's place, we had breakfast in bed and watched Animal Planet.

"Why are you crying?" Edward asked exasperatedly when the tears had been rolling down my cheeks for five minutes straight and he had, without results, tried to comfort me for the last four.

"It… it was so… so sad!" I wailed.

"But the puppy got a new home," he pointed out, a little more gently. "He got to go live with that nice couple with a big back yard, remember? And play with the other dogs."

"But he only had three legs!" I thought I saw a smile tug on the corners of his mouth, but he didn't start laughing. He was a strong man.

"Didn't you hear what the vet said, though?" he asked, pulling me closer. I buried my face against his chest. "He's happier like this, without the injured leg holding him back. And did you see how fast he could run?"

"I guess," I sniffed, wiping away the tears.

"Better?" he wondered, and I nodded.

"Better."

I felt a little silly crying like that, but I just couldn't help it. It was so sad…

I quickly shrugged it off, so I didn't start crying again. Edward had changed the channel to some sit-com and I tried to focus on the plot to keep my mind off the poor little puppy…

Then I felt a familiar flutter in my stomach. I frowned and pressed my hand against the spot, thinking I had imagined it. Wasn't it too early for that?

But, sure enough, there it was again. Someone was moving.

"You OK?" Edward asked next to me, noticing my frown. I just grabbed his hand and pressed it to the spot on my stomach. "What…?"

"Wait," I told him. A moment later, the baby moved again. "Did you feel that?"

He was looking at me with wide eyes.

"Was that…?"

"I think so," I answered his not fully spoken question. "It feels the same as it did with Lily, but it's pretty early. Maybe it's different with twins, I don't know."

His hand was still on my stomach, caressing the spot where the baby had just moved.

"Wow."

**Edward**

Bella's hormones started going haywire over the next few days. After the episode of _Animal Cops_, where she had cried for five minutes over a puppy losing a leg, I 'accidentally' blocked Animal Planet on the TV. There were a lot of episodes of that show that were much more tragic than the one we had seen, and I didn't want to think about what watching a puppy or kitten die would do to her.

Unfortunately, she found other things to cry over. I was in the kitchen one night, making dinner, when I heard her sobbing in the living room.

"It's OK, mom," I heard Lily try to sooth, to no avail, apparently. I turned the heat down on the stove before leaving the kitchen to see what was going on.

"What's wrong?" I asked, kneeling down in front of Bella. She had buried her face in her hands, and I could see the tears leaking between her fingers. "Turn the TV off, Lily."

I heard the click as Lily obliged. Without result, I tried to pry Bella's hands away from her face.

"What's so sad?" I wondered, but she just shook her head. I turned to Lily, who was watching us with big eyes.

"It was just a commercial," she said, sounding a little frightened. "About the animal shelter."

Of course.

"Why is mom so sad?" Lily asked quietly.

"It's just the hormones, sweetie, remember we told you about that?" I explained. "About how, when you're pregnant, there are these hormones making you very sad sometimes?"

She only nodded silently.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry." Bella finally uncovered her face and pulled Lily into a hug. "I didn't mean to scare you like that."

After that, I started reading the paper thoroughly every morning before even letting Bella touch it, looking for potentially upsetting ads or stories. I saw her shooting odd looks at me when I finally released it, and she found large holes where I had ripped out things I was afraid would upset her, but she didn't say anything. I couldn't do much about the commercials except try catch the dangerous ones and change the channel before she had a chance to react, and most nights she found something to cry about.

"This is really starting to get annoying," she complained one night when we were watching the news. There had been an earthquake in South America. No casualties, but there had been pictures of children crying in the streets. "I mean, come on!"

I chose not to comment on that; I had a feeling that no matter what I said, she would take it the wrong way. We were curled up on the couch, my hand resting against her stomach. Ever since we had felt the first movement the other day, it had become a habit of mine to keep close by, in case it happened again. Now, I felt a flutter against my hand and rubbed the spot with a smile on my face. No matter how many times I felt it, it was still just as amazing.

"I'm going to have to stop watching TV altogether if this doesn't let up soon," she continued.

"We can always stick to horror movies," I suggested with a smirk.

"That's very helpful," she replied dryly, getting up from the couch and heading in the direction of the kitchen. "You want anything?"

"No, I'm good."

I heard her rummaging around in the kitchen, and a few minutes later, she came back into the room. I raised my eyebrows when she sat down next to me again and took a bite of a chocolate pop tart covered with peanut butter.

"Shut up," she mumbled with her mouth full.

"I didn't say a word." I chuckled. Looked like the cravings had set in. "You trying to outdo Rosalie?"

"How is that not saying anything?" She scowled at me.

"Sorry." But I couldn't help but laugh anyway, and she threw a pillow at me. "You know it's only temporary, and it'll be worth it, in the end, right?"

"I know." She sighed and leaned her head against my shoulder. "But feel free to tie me down if I start nibbling on the lawn, OK?"

"I doubt it'll come to that," I objected dryly. She was exaggerating just a little.

"Seriously, I heard of a woman who ate brick dust."

I contemplated that for a moment. She was apparently serious.

"OK, if you start gnawing on the walls I'll step in. Tie you to a chair or something."

"Thank you. Knew I could count on you."

It didn't go that far. She started eating things she'd never liked before; dark chocolate and extra spicy jalapeno chips just to mention some. And the weirdest combinations; she put peanut butter on everything that she didn't put strawberry jam on. And that included French fries (strawberry jam), carrots (peanut butter) and said jalapeno chips (both). Luckily, her cravings seemed to be restricted to daytime, so I didn't have to run down to the twenty-four hour supermarket in the middle of the night. Not that I would have minded.

Soon, it was February 7th and we were on our way to Doctor Wallace's office for the next check-up.

"Do you think she'll let me skip past the scale if I ask nicely?" Bella wondered hopefully from the passenger seat.

"I wouldn't bet on it," I replied.

She had been complaining about putting on too much weight in the past two weeks. Last night, she had taken out the pictures from when she was pregnant with Lily and pointed out that the picture we had taken that morning, at almost seventeen weeks, was very similar to the one from twenty-eight weeks. I had tried to reason with her, saying that she couldn't expect everything to be the same this time around. There were two babies in there, after all. But the situation she had presented a few weeks ago, of not being able to get out of bed in a couple of months, was starting to look less and less like the worst case scenario and more and more like a possibility.

"I'm huge," she now mumbled next to me.

"You're pregnant, you're supposed to be."

She was quiet for a moment, staring out through the passenger window so I couldn't read the expression on her face.

"You think I'm huge?" she then asked, her voice small and the unmistakable trace of tears in it.

Oh, crap. I stepped right into that one.

"No, of course not, I didn't mean it like that." But she was already wiping a few tears away. "Don't cry. I'm sorry I said that."

"But it's true."

"No, it's not. You're beautiful, you know that."

She laughed once, humorlessly, at that.

I suddenly had a lot more sympathy for Emmett. At least I could take some comfort in the fact that Bella had nothing on Rosalie, and that I could still reason with her.

"Come on," I tried to coax. We were parked outside the doctor's office by now. "You know you're being unreasonable, right?"

She sighed and turned to face me. The tears had dried on her cheeks, at least.

"I know. I can't help it." She leaned her head against the seat and gave me a half-smile. "I just feel fat and gross most of the time."

"You're not," I told her honestly. She wasn't. Sure, she had put on weight, but she was beautiful anyway. It wouldn't matter if she put on a hundred pounds, she'd still be just as beautiful.

"I might need you to tell me that a lot in the next few months," she warned me.

"I will," I promised. It was the least I could do, after all. "Now come on. We don't want to keep Doctor Wallace waiting."

**Bella**

I eyed the scale with wary eyes when I had finished filling the usual cup and handed it to Doctor Wallace's, and she seemed to notice my reluctance.

"Want to get that part over with first?" she asked, sounding a little amused.

I sighed. "Might as well."

I quickly changed into the hospital gown and stepped on the scale. Before she started fiddling with the weights, I closed my eyes.

"Don't tell me," I pleaded, and heard both Edward and Doctor Wallace laugh.

"OK, you can step off," the doctor said after a moment. I gratefully did as she said, careful not to look too closely at the scale as I did so.

"Have I put on way too much weight?" I asked nervously, though I really didn't want to know the answer. It felt like I must have. "You would tell me if I had, right?"

"Of course I would, and of course you haven't," Doctor Wallace assured me. "You're right on the curve, according to your normal weight, don't worry."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"But you are going to gain more weight this time than you did during your last pregnancy," she continued, watching me carefully. "I hope you're prepared for that."

"Theoretically and logically, yes," I replied. "Not sure I'll be so good at actually dealing with it, though."

If I was freaking out now, I couldn't imagine what it would be like in two, three or four months. I had seen pictures of women pregnant with twins on the internet and was really dreading the last few months before they were born.

"It will be fine," Doctor Wallace encouraged. "If you could just get into the chair now, I'll do an examination and then we need to talk about some practical things."

The examination only took a few minutes, and then I went back behind the curtain to change again. When I was done, we all sat down around Doctor Wallace's desk.

"Well, everything looks great," she told us with a smile. "They both seem to be growing like they should, nothing to worry about there."

"Good. You said something about 'practical things'?" I reminded her, a little nervously.

"Yes, there are a few things we need to discuss." She paused. "I guess you've been doing some research into twin pregnancies since the last time you were here."

"Yeah," I confirmed. We had spent several hours in front of the computer. I had of course also talked to Esme about raising twins, but Edward and Alice had been four when she and Carlisle had taken them in, so she didn't have much experience with the first time, and none with twin pregnancy. And we didn't know anyone else who had twins.

"I'm sure you're worried about a lot of things and have about a million questions, but I want to start by saying that if there are no complications – and I honestly think that the risk that there will be is very small, since you're young and healthy – I see no reason why this shouldn't go as smoothly as any normal, singleton pregnancy."

I liked the sound of that. From the internet sites we had visited it had seemed like some sort of complication was almost inevitable, and it was nice to know that this was not the case.

"I'm not going to say that there aren't risks," she continued. "And the risks are higher than with a regular pregnancy. But as long as we keep a close eye on things, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Thanks," Edward said next to me. "It's good to hear that complications aren't the norm."

"No, no, absolutely not," she assured us. "Is there anything in particular you're wondering about?"

"Well, a lot of the websites I've checked out talk about premature labor and birth with twins," I said. "How common is that? And what are the risks if it happens?"

"The last I heard, around fifty percent of twins were born before the thirty-seventh week of pregnancy, in comparison with around ten percent of singletons. But…"

"But that's not that dangerous, is it?" Edward wondered nervously, before she had a chance to continue. "I mean, thirty-six weeks is fine, right? Babies survive being born much earlier than that all the time, don't they?"

"That's true," Doctor Wallace agreed, nodding. "Thirty-six weeks is really nothing today, but we still want to keep them in there as long as possible. One major problem with premature birth is that the baby's lungs might not be fully developed, but there are medicines that we can give you to help with that if you go into labor prematurely."

I had read about that too, but it felt good to have it confirmed.

"So July 19th doesn't really apply anymore?" I concluded.

"No." She shook her head. "I would say late June, early July if we're lucky."

I actually liked the sound of that. If last July was any indication of what it would be like this summer, I had absolutely no interest in being hugely pregnant at that time. Though I definitely didn't want them to be born too early either.

"Have you contacted the organization I told you about last time?" Doctor Wallace wondered, and we both nodded.

"We're going to the first class next week," I told her.

"That's good. You'll get a lot of information from them, since several of the people working there have experience with multiple pregnancies themselves."

"That sounds good," I said. Always nice to get inside information from someone who had actually been in the same position, rather than theoretical information from someone who had only read about it.

"I also wanted to discuss birthing options with you today," she continued. "How set are you on a vaginal birth?"

I contemplated her question for a moment. Sure, I had heard that the risk of having to have a C-section was higher with twins than with just one baby, but I hadn't really thought that much about it yet.

"I would like to avoid having a C-section, of course, but if it's not possible…" I had read somewhere that more than half of all twins were delivered by cesarean.

"Some doctors prefer to schedule a C-section for twin deliveries, but I usually at least start out aiming for a regular birth. You're young, and as long as there are no complications along the way and the babies are positioned right when the time comes, there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth. But it's good that you're open to alternatives, because things can change quickly, and sometimes you don't have time to stop and evaluate the new situation. It's always good to have a back-up plan and not be too set on one thing."

I didn't particularly like the 'changing quickly' part.

"What do you mean that things can change quickly?" Edward asked, voicing my concerns.

"It's not really specific for twin births," Doctor Wallace explained. "But there are always risks, with any birth. The babies' heart rates can drop, which would force me to step in and perform a C-section. But that's not something you need to think about now. As long as you're aware of the risks, and are not too set on a vaginal birth."

That made me feel a little better, at least.

"Is there anything else you're wondering about right now?" the doctor asked. "You can always call me if you think of something, or we can talk about it next time."

"I was just wondering about bed rest." I had read that that was a possibility. "And how long will I be able to keep working?"

"I can't really give you an exact date or something like that. It's different from case to case, and we'll have to evaluate along the way. But it is recommended not to work into the third trimester. If you go into premature labor much too early, I will have to put you on bed rest to try to keep them in there until they will be big enough to come out, but that's really a last resort."

"OK, that sounds good." I nodded.

"Anything else?"

I looked up at Edward, but he shook his head.

"I am sure you'll think of something," Doctor Wallace said with a smile. "Feel free to call if you're worried about anything, and if not, I'll see you in two weeks."

"Thanks," I said, getting to my feet. Edward did the same next to me.

"Yes, thank you, Doctor."

"Wait." I suddenly remembered something I'd wanted to ask about. "I thought I felt some movement a few days ago, is that possible? With Lily, I didn't feel anything until week 21 or so, I think."

"That's very possible," the doctor told us. "With twins, because there's not as much room in there, it's not unusual to feel one of the babies moving as early as ten, twelve weeks. But you probably won't feel both of them moving for a while."

"OK." That was pretty much what I had read on the internet as well, but I had wanted to make sure. "Thanks, again."

We left the building and headed towards Lily's school to pick her up.

"So, do you feel better about the weight thing?" Edward wondered after a moment. "You haven't gained too much or anything."

"Thank you for reminding me of that," I replied dryly. Not that he needed to. The evidence was right in front of me the whole time. Absentmindedly, I wondered how having triplets – or even more – actually worked physically. I had a hard time imagining two fitting in there.

"Sorry." He chuckled.

"I'll have to go shopping for new clothes soon," I mused. I had been to the mall last weekend with Alice and bought some stuff, but I had a feeling I would outgrow them soon.

"Alice will be happy to hear it."

I groaned. Alice had taken it upon herself to keep me 'hip', as she put it. I would be happy to just wear whatever was comfortable, but she wouldn't hear of it. Luckily, Alice wasn't around all the time, and when I was home I just put on whatever I wanted anyway.

"That's sure to be a wonderful experience," I complained.

"Bring Lily along," Edward suggested. "You can figure out some secret sign that you can make when you're fed up, and Lily can pretend to be tired or sick or something."

I contemplated that for a moment.

"That's actually a really good idea," I admitted. I should have thought about it myself.

"Happy to help."

We were at Lily's school by now, and she was waiting for us by the entrance. She quickly jumped into the back seat.

"Are we going to see the baby?" she asked excitedly, just like every day the past week.

"Let me just call Rose to make sure it's a good time," I said, pulling my phone from my pocket. So far, we had stopped by Emmett and Rosalie's place every day after I had picked up Lily from school. If Lily had her way, she would spend all afternoon and all night there, but after I had explained that both Rosalie and the baby needed the rest, Lily had agreed to limit our visiting time to one hour a day.

"_Hello?"_ Rosalie's tired voice came over the line.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"_No, no, just a little beat. She's been up most of the night."_

"Oh. Maybe we shouldn't come over today, then?"

I heard Lily's disappointed sigh from the back seat when I said this.

"_No, don't be silly, I know how much Lily loves coming here,"_ Rosalie objected. _"Anyway, she's supposed to eat in a little while, so she'll be up for at least another hour. Come on by."_

"If you're sure," I said doubtfully.

"_I'm sure."_

"OK, see you in a bit then."

I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket.

"We can go there?" Lily asked eagerly.

"Aunt Rose said yes, but she sounded really tired, so I don't think we should stay long," I told her firmly."Just five minutes, and then we're going home, OK?"

"OK," she grudgingly agreed.

I smiled to myself. I hoped she would still be as excited about babies in six months or so.

**Edward**

"I like Ariel and Sebastian," Lily announced when I was tucking her in later that night, speaking of absolutely nothing.

"Who are Ariel and Sebastian?" I asked, assuming they were friends of hers from school or something, even if I had never heard the names before.

"No, for baby names, I mean," she clarified. "From _The Little Mermaid_."

Ah, Disney names. I had said that she'd get her inspiration from cartoons.

"We'll see, OK princess?"

"OK."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Don't read too late, it's a school night."

I left the door slightly ajar when I left the room and went back downstairs.

"I told you so," I said when I got back into the living room where Bella was watching TV.

"Told me what?" she wondered, looking up at me.

"Lily picked out names," I explained, sitting down on the couch next to her. "Ariel and Sebastian."

Bella laughed and leaned against me. I put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

"Well, look at it this way," she said after a moment. "It could have been worse; she could have decided to go with Flounder."

I just shook my head. "I told her that we'd think about it, but I honestly don't want to name our kids after Disney characters."

"Have you thought of any names that you like?" she wondered.

"Not really." I shook my head. Since my mind had been in some sort of denial until recently, I obviously hadn't thought about names. "You?"

"Not yet," she replied. "But we've got time."

We did.

"But I'm totally against the 'oh matching names are so cute' thing, just so you know," Bella continued. "So no John and Joan or anything like that."

I could agree to that.

"So, any preference?" she asked.

"Preference?" I frowned.

"Boy-boy, girl-girl, boy-girl?"

Oh, that's what she was getting at.

"Not really." I shrugged. As long as they were healthy and happy, I didn't care.

"Are you sure?" she pressed on. "You can say it, you know."

"I'm serious, it doesn't matter," I insisted.

"You're not hoping that at least one's a boy? Not even a little? Don't all guys want a son, an heir? Someone to play baseball with?"

I realized that she was teasing.

"It would be nice with a boy," I agreed. "But if it's two girls, I'll be just as happy. I mean, I can borrow Noah for a few hours if I feel an irresistible urge to play baseball. And, unlike you, Lily actually likes outdoor activities and sports, so I'm good."

"That's true."

"Besides, I plan on having a whole bunch of kids with you, so if it turns out to be two girls this time…" I trailed off and let her draw her own conclusions.

"Oh, you do, do you?" she said with raised eyebrows. "And I don't get any say in that?"

"Well, I guess you could get a vote," I replied with a smirk. "What, you don't want any more?"

"Right now? No way." She sighed. "But ask me in a year or two, and you might get a different answer."

I laughed. I understood where she was coming from, of course.

"So no more kids for a few years?" I concluded.

"Sounds about right."

xxxxx

On Wednesday, Lily went home with Catie so that Bella and I could go to the first birthing class that was held at the university by the organization Doctor Wallace had suggested.

We got there a little early; the room was empty except for a woman in her forties who was arranging chairs around the room. She looked up when she heard the door open.

"Hi, welcome," she greeted us. "You're here for the twin birthing class?"

"Yeah," Bella replied, pulling me along into the large room.

"You're in for something special, then," the woman noted with a smile. "Is it your first?"

"No, we have an eight-year-old," Bella told her.

"Oh." The woman looked a little surprised for a moment, but quickly smiled again. "So you're no novices, then."

I was about to object, but didn't want to get into the long explanation of why I hadn't been around last time. Besides, it wasn't anyone's business except for ours.

"I'm Lisa," the woman continued, holding out her hand to us.

"Bella." Bella shook her hand. "And this is my husband, Edward."

"Nice to meet both of you," Lisa said as she shook my hand. "I hope you'll get a lot out of this class, and feel free to ask if there's anything you're wondering about. I have twelve-year-old twins at home myself, so I've got some experience in the area." She smiled at us and went off to greet another couple that had just arrived.

xxxxx

"That was interesting," I noted an hour later when we were driving home.

"Yeah," Bella agreed. "There are a lot more things to think about this time."

"Good thing we're two to do the thinking then," I joked.

I didn't particularly like to think about all the things I had missed with Lily. I was very much looking forward to getting the first-hand experience myself, but I also knew that it would never make up for missing the first five years of her life. At least it didn't seem to bother her, and I was grateful for that. She was such an adjustable kid.

"Hey," Bella said softly next to me. "You OK? You look a couple of thousand miles away."

"I'm good," I said and forced a smile onto my face.

She reached out and took my hand in hers, and I knew she didn't believe me completely.

"Any projects on the horizon?" she asked, trying to distract me. I gave her a grateful smile.

"Not at the moment," I replied. "I was asked to do the music for some new action movie, but the producer wasn't willing to fly up here to talk, so I said no. But Joe called yesterday and said that he might have something that might be interesting." Joe was my agent. Not known for being the world's most straightforward man.

"You shouldn't have turned that movie down," she complained. "You can fly down to LA for a day, it's fine."

"It wasn't really the kind of movie that I'd want to work with, anyway," I hedged. No need to tell her that there was no way I would fly off to Los Angeles for the day and leave her here all alone. I was already bugging her with my sometimes-too-overprotective behavior. No need to add to that.

"Fine." She gave me a piercing look. "But next time, talk to me before saying no to a job."

"Are you worried I won't be able to support you?" I teased her.

"No, I'm not. I know that's not a problem. I just don't want you to pass on something that you want to do."

"What I want to do is be here, with you," I told her sincerely. "Everything else can wait."

"Will you at least promise me that if something big comes along, you'll take it?" she insisted. "Even if it means you have to go to LA?"

"Fine," I agreed. "If Paul Parker calls, I won't turn him down."

Paul Parker was the most famous movie producer at the moment. I threw his name out there because the possibility that he would actually request me for one of his movies was next to nonexistent.

"If Paul Parker calls, I'll hold you to that."

Little did I know that she actually would get the chance.

**AN: The thing with brick dust is something that I've actually heard about... not sure if it's some sort of urban legend though...**


	22. 22 Mysteries and Offers

**AN: Here's the next chapter for you guys. Time to find out the sex of the babies… I've gotten suggestions of every combination in reviews, so I hope those of you who thought I should go another way aren't disappointed. Read and enjoy! And don't forget to review!**

**Disclaimer: And here we go again… no, I do not own them!**

**22 – Mysteries and Offers **

**Bella**

I was relieved to notice that, after our four-month check-up, my hormones seemed to, if not lessen, then at least even out. I knew what to watch out for – shows about abandoned and injured animals (which wasn't a problem, since Edward had blocked Animal Planet, something he thought I hadn't noticed), the news, sad commercials – and did my best to avoid those. And my cravings seemed to have decided to stay put. Lily and Edward still grimaced when I put peanut butter on weird things, like fish sticks and broccoli, but at least I didn't move onto something even crazier. I had started to fear that things would just escalate.

In the middle of March, Renée and Phil came up from Florida to stay with us for a week. Lily was on spring break from school and was ecstatic to get to spend some quality time with them.

The moment Renée spotted me at the airport, she started crying. Then she threw her arms around me and wouldn't let go for several minutes. I started to wonder if she got some sort of sympathy hormones, since she had been the exact same way last time too.

"Oh, honey," she mumbled when she finally let me go. "You look amazing."

Maybe I should question her sanity, instead.

"Sure, mom," I agreed sarcastically. Edward threw me a look, but apparently Renée didn't notice my sarcasm.

"And I've already booked a flight for June 15th," she said, looping her arm with mine and pulling me along in the direction of the exit. Edward, Phil and Lily followed behind us with the luggage. "I don't want to miss anything, and twins are usually born earlier." She sounded like she thought I would argue.

"I know, mom."

Though she was a little fuzzy around me, it was actually nice to have Renée and Phil at the house. Phil immediately took over cooking duty and Renée wouldn't let me or Edward lift a finger. She insisted on doing everything; cleaning, laundry, helping Lily with her homework. The first few months of the pregnancy, I had glared at Edward whenever he had tried to get me to not vacuum or pick up around the house or do the dishes, and we had come to some sort of silent agreement. I wouldn't even think about moving anything heavy, and he would let me do the little things. But now, I was uncomfortable just sitting around, let alone clean. Either he didn't notice, or he didn't want to risk getting into trouble for saying I shouldn't do something. Either way, getting out of those little chores for a week was nice.

"What are we going to do when your mom and Phil leave tomorrow?" Edward wondered on Saturday afternoon. Renée and Phil had taken Lily to the movies and we had the house to ourselves for a couple of hours.

"I don't know," I replied. "We might have to hire a maid." It was meant as a joke, but he took it seriously.

"Maybe we should," he mused out loud. "I mean, at least for a year or so. I doubt we'll have much time or energy for household work when these two get here."

He did actually have a point.

"Maybe someone who comes in once or twice a week?" I suggested. "Just to clean up and do the laundry. I don't want some stranger practically living here."

"No, no, me neither," he agreed. "But that sounds like a good idea. I'll talk to Em, he and Rose have a maid service."

"Sounds good."

Renée and Phil flew back to Florida on Sunday, after a very tearful goodbye at the airport. At least I could blame my hormones. When we got home, Edward called Emmett to get the number to their maid service.

On Tuesday, a tiny, South American woman showed up a few minutes after Lily and I had gotten home.

"Hello, I am from Lucy's Maid Service," she said in a strangely accented voice. "What would you like me to do?"

I showed her where we kept the cleaning supplies and where the laundry room was and then went into the living room while she did what she was there for.

"It feels weird," I half-whispered to Edward an hour later, when she was rummaging around in the kitchen. "Having someone else clean while we just sit here."

"It's what we pay her for," he reminded me. "But we can have her come here when you're at work, if that would make you feel better."

It would. So we decided that she would come on Tuesday and Friday mornings instead of in the afternoons. That way, I wouldn't have to be around when she moved through the house, silent as a ghost, but would get home to clean rooms and newly washed clothes. Heavenly.

On March 20th, we had a check-up with an ultrasound scheduled.

"Do you want to find out the sex?" I asked Edward on the way there.

"Do you?" he countered.

"Nuh-uh, I asked you first."

"It doesn't really matter to me, we can do whatever you want," he replied, and I sighed. He had been doing that a lot lately. Whenever I asked if he wanted to do something, he would return the question. 'Do you want to watch a movie?' 'Sure, if you do.' 'Want to have lunch with Alice and Jasper on Saturday?' 'If you want to.' It was getting old.

"That's not a good enough answer," I told him, deciding to put my foot down. "And I'm sick of all this 'whatever you want' crap. Just tell me what _you_ want!"

He looked straight ahead for a moment in silence.

"I just don't want you to do something that you don't want to do," he finally explained. Of course, I should have known that it was something like that. He was the most unselfish person I had ever known – to an extreme degree, at times. Like now.

"But this isn't just about me," I argued. "I mean, sure, they're in my body, but you have just as much to say about these things as I do. And I want to know what you think."

He glanced at me.

"OK, fine. Yes, I would like to find out the sex."

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" I said with a smile. "And I want that too, so you had nothing to worry about."

"Good."

"But even if I hadn't, we would have been able to work that out, you know."

We were at Doctor Wallace's office by now and he apparently decided to ignore me, pulling into a parking space close to the entrance. Since it was eleven o'clock and I had taken the day off from work, we didn't have to pick up Lily on our way home like we usually did. For this reason, he had suggested taking the Camaro. I had agreed since I knew he hadn't driven it since the fall, but now I regretted it. It was way too low.

"I think I'm going to need a little help," I said when he turned the engine off. "Not sure I can get out of here on my own."

"Why didn't you say something?" he asked, frowning. "We could have taken the Volvo."

"Well, I didn't realize that there would be a problem until I actually got into the car, and then I was already in here and would have to get out of it anyway, at some point, so I thought we'd might as well just take this car." I opened the door and waited until he walked around the car. I took his outstretched hands and he pulled me out of the car. "Thanks." He just shook his head, an amused smile on his lips, and kept one of my hands as we walked towards the building.

**Edward**

Doctor Wallace's check-ups were becoming routine by now, but today she was also doing an ultrasound. That was the part that we were both looking forward to.

"Well, everything looks great," she said when Bella reemerged from behind the curtain after the physical examination. "And I guess this is what you've been looking forward to?" She smiled as she set up the ultrasound machine.

"Why would you think that?" Bella asked with a matching smile, climbing onto the cot with some difficulty. "I'm seriously going to have trouble moving soon."

"Good thing you've got someone to help you get around," Doctor Wallace noted.

"Don't know what I'd do without him," Bella replied and glanced at me.

As always, she got that backwards.

"OK, let's see…" Doctor Wallace spread the gel on Bella's stomach and she shivered a little. "Sorry."

"Just a little cold."

The doctor started moving the probe around, and soon, the fluttering of heartbeats filled the room. I smiled at the sound.

"Have you decided if you want to know the sex?" she asked.

"Yes, we do," Bella said and I nodded.

"OK, then, let's see." Doctor Wallace moved the probe a little. "They're too big to both fit into one image now, but here's Baby A."

The image of a baby in profile appeared on the screen.

"Is that…" Bella hesitated. "Is it sucking on its thumb?"

Doctor Wallace laughed.

"It looks like it." She scrutinized the image, moving the probe around a little. "OK, this one is – and I usually don't say that I'm a hundred percent sure – but this one is without a doubt a boy."

I felt the smile that was already on my face widen. A son.

"How can you know for sure?" Bella wondered curiously.

"See here?" Doctor Wallace pointed at the screen.

I looked where she was pointing. "Is that…?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "Now, let's take a look at Baby B."

She moved the probe around and another image appeared. The second baby seemed to be almost curled up.

"OK, here we go. They both look good, by the way, good size and all that." She frowned. "You aren't going to cooperate, are you?"

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"I can't get a good look at the 'vital parts'," she explained. "Let me try a different angle." She moved the probe around some more. "Nope, sorry, this one's going to have to be a surprise, at least for now."

"That's OK," Bella told her. "Are you going to do any more ultrasounds? I read somewhere that you need to keep an eye on how they're growing in the third trimester."

"Since there are two placentas, there is really no reason to worry about TTTS," she explained. We had read about Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, so I knew what she was talking about. "I know that some doctors do extra ultrasounds during twin pregnancies anyway, but in this case, I don't think there's a reason to do that unless we start suspecting that something's wrong."

"OK." I nodded. That seemed logical. Ultrasounds weren't completely risk free, after all, it made sense to not have more done than necessary.

"Good." Doctor Wallace turned the machine off and wiped the gel off Bella's stomach. "I'm going to go and print you some pictures. I assume you'll want a bunch of copies again?"

"That might be good, we didn't have a single one left last time," I told her and she left the room laughing.

"So…" Bella started, sitting up on the cot. "A boy. Excited?"

"Yeah." More so than I would have thought, though I wasn't going to say that out loud. I wanted to think that I would have been just as happy if the doctor had said that they were both girls, but, of course, I couldn't be sure. "One boy and one mystery."

"Yeah." She sighed. "We're going to have to cover all the bases anyway."

I laughed at that.

"At least nothing too pink," I agreed.

"We should probably start decorating the nursery, though," she said thoughtfully. "Don't want to leave that to the last minute, you never know when these two decide to make an appearance."

"That's true," I agreed, nodding thoughtfully. I had already decided to take care of that myself, and not only because I didn't want Bella around paint fumes and stuff like that – she had assured me that there really wasn't anything to worry about when it came to that, that she would be perfectly safe painting, but I didn't want to risk anything – but also because I wanted to surprise her. The problem was how to pull that off without her suspecting anything.

xxxxx

The next day, as soon as Bella left for work, I went into the room next to our bedroom, which was going to be the nursery. We hadn't talked much about what we were actually going to do with the room, but we had looked at some furniture online. Right now, the room was used as a guest room, with a bed, a couch and a dresser. I would need some help moving those things before I could get to the painting. The walls were a light green, matching the fitted carpet, which was a darker shade of green. When I looked at the carpet, I got an idea.

I went into our bedroom and called Emmett to get some help in the muscle department.

"_The future state champions, how may I help you?"_

"I thought your team was in the bottom half of the league?" I pointed out. "I need a favor."

"_Not the greatest move to insult me when you want a favor, bro,"_ he replied.

"OK, maybe I should have said that I want to call in a favor." I had helped him with Ellie's room after all. He owed me.

"_OK, that's different. Shoot."_

"I want to fix the nursery without Bella noticing," I said. "I need help moving the furniture out of the room, then I can pretty much take care of the painting after that. Can you come over this morning?"

"_Sure, I'm filling in for Coach Jolson with the juniors at eleven, but until that I'm free,"_ he said. _"I'll be there in fifteen."_

"Great."

While I waited, I went on the internet and googled a little to see if I could actually do what I was hoping to do. It didn't look easy, but definitely possible. I'd been pretty good at arts in school, and, worst case scenario, I'd bribe Rosalie into helping me.

"Alright, Cullen and Cullen moving service at your assistance," Emmett greeted me when I let him into the house. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"This way." I led him up the stairs and into the room.

"Where are we moving the furniture?" he wondered, eyeing the bed. I had stripped it of the bedding and pillows, so all that remained were two mattresses and a headboard. Luckily, we had already decided to donate the furniture.

"Goodwill's coming to pick up the bed and the couch, so those are going out into the front yard. The dresser we're going to keep, so we'll just move that into the other guest room in the meantime."

After half an hour, we were sitting on the front porch, taking a breather. The bed and the couch were both on the lawn in front of us.

"Well, that's it," Emmett noted. "I guess you don't need me anymore?"

"Nope," I replied. "I'm going to get some paint and other stuff, try to get started before Bella gets home."

"You think you'll be able to keep her out of there until you're done?" he questioned.

I wasn't completely sure about that. She didn't go in there often, but it would be so typical if she for some reason did now. I could always tell her that I had started decorating, and wanted it to be a surprise, but that would ruin the actual element of surprise.

"I'll lock the door," I said. "And if she against the odds decides to go in there and discovers that, I'll think of something."

"Good to know you have a plan," he said dryly, getting up from the porch. "I'm going back to work, see you later."

When he had left, I got in the car and drove to Miller Paint and Wallpaper. I explained to the guy behind the counter what I wanted to do, and he helped me pick out what I would need.

When I got home, I covered the carpet and got to work. The walls were even, which meant I didn't have to do anything about that, so I started painting right away. It didn't take too long to do all four walls. They would need another coat and then I could start on the actual project, but at least I had gotten started. I locked the door behind me before I went back downstairs.

Just as I sat down on the couch, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Edward, my very best friend, how are you?"_

I sighed at the cringing voice of my agent.

"What do you want, Joe?" I asked.

"_Now why would you think that I want something?"_

"Because I know you."

I heard him sigh over the phone.

"_Alright. But it's not just for me, you know. If I don't get any money, you don't get any money."_

"Isn't it the other way around?" I pointed out dryly.

"_OK, fine."_ He paused. _"I know you said no to the last movie because they wanted you to come down here for a meeting, and this new potential client has that as a demand as well…"_

"Then I'm not interested," I cut him off. "I told you that I don't want to have to go down to LA right now."

"_I know, I know,"_ he assured me. _"But… it's Paul Parker!"_

That brought me up short.

"Are you serious?" I asked after a moment.

"_Dead serious. I just talked to his people five minutes ago. He wants you to do the music for his next movie."_

Paul Parker wanted _me_? That thought was overwhelming. He was one of the biggest names in Hollywood right now, any movie he made was sure to be a blockbuster hit. Sure, I'd worked with some big names before, but this…

"When you say that I have to come down to LA, what exactly does that entail?" A meeting or two I could do, but if he wanted regular get-togethers through the process… that just wouldn't work right now.

"_Nothing out of the ordinary,"_ Joe quickly said. _"A meeting next week to go through what he had in mind. They've already started filming, and he wants you to visit the set, get a feel for the movie or something. Then contact via phone while you work. He might want to get together to look at the finished material, but I think we can convince him to go up to Seattle for that if we explain the situation to him. I mean, the music won't be done until late May, early June, right? I'm sure he'll understand why you won't want to fly down to Los Angeles then."_

"That sounds OK." A daytrip to LA now would be OK.

"So you'll do it?" I could hear the excitement in Joe's voice. This was big for him too.

"I have to talk to Bella first," I told him.

"_Can you call her right away? They want an answer before two o'clock."_

I glanced at my watch. It was half past one.

"Sure, I'll talk to her and then I'll call you back."

"_OK, great. Talk to you soon."_

I hung up and hit the speed dial.

"_Hello?"_ Bella answered after a moment.

"Hey, it's me."

"_Hey, what's up?"_ She knew me too well.

"Joe just called," I started, "and you are not going to believe it, but Paul Parker wants me to do the music for his next movie."

The line was dead silent for a moment.

"_Oh my God!"_ she then squealed. _"This is huge! I mean, like potential-Oscar-huge! You said you'd do it, right? Because if you didn't, I swear to God I'll…"_

"I said that I wanted to talk to you first," I cut her off. "But I'll call him back and tell him that I'm in."

"_You'd better!"_

"OK, I'll call him right now."

"_Do that. I'll see you soon. And we have to celebrate this tonight!"_ She squealed again and then hung up. I smiled to myself as I called Joe back and told him that I would do it. The call didn't last long; he wanted to call 'the people' in LA to let them know that they didn't need to look for an alternative anymore. He promised to get back to me as soon as he knew when the meeting next week would take place.

When I hung up the phone, I sat for a long time and just stared into the air, trying to convince myself that what had just happened wasn't a dream.

**Bella**

"What's got you all excited?"

I looked up and found Michelle in the doorway to my office. She must have heard my less-than-quiet reaction to Edward's news.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare the whole building," I apologized with a smile. "Edward just got an amazing offer from LA."

"Oh yeah?"

"Paul Parker!" I revealed, not able to contain myself.

"Wow." Her eyes went wide. "That's huge!"

"That's what I said too." I glanced at the clock. "I'll have to stop by the store and pick up some champagne or something so we can celebrate tonight."

"Then go, get out of here," she told me. "Get that out of the way before you have to pick up Lily from school."

"Thanks, Michelle." I quickly grabbed my purse and left the office.

I went straight to the nearest supermarket and browsed the aisles. I found some non-alcoholic champagne, but wasn't sure what else said 'congratulations, honey, you've got a great movie deal'. I settled for some chocolate covered strawberries and also got veal chops. I thought I'd make Edward's favorite for dinner.

I was at Lily's school a few minutes before the kids got out and spotted Donna on the sidewalk. I waved to catch her attention, and she waved back before coming over to my car.

"Hey there!" she greeted me when I rolled the window down. "How's it going?"

"Good, great, really," I replied with a smile. "You've got the afternoon off?"

"If you can call an afternoon of soccer practice and ballet class 'off'," she said, rolling her eyes. Catie had started taking ballet classes just before Christmas. I had thought that Lily would want to go too, but she hadn't expressed any interest in it so far. I was secretly glad. I didn't have very good memories of ballet classes.

"Sounds like you've got your plate full," I noted.

"You could say that." She spotted the champagne bottle sticking out of the grocery bag on the passenger seat. "Ooh, champagne. Non-alcoholic, I hope. What are you celebrating?"

"Edward's doing the music for Paul Parker's new movie," I told her with a grin. "They just contacted him today."

"Wow." Donna gave me a speculative look. "You want me to take Lily for the afternoon? Give you some alone time for 'grown up' celebration?"

I considered her offer for only a brief moment.

"No, that's OK, but thanks for the offer. I'm sure Lily will want to be in on the celebrations, too."

In truth, I wasn't that eager for 'alone time'. During the last few weeks, I had started feeling very big and as far from sexy as was probably possible. I knew Edward meant it when he said that he thought I was beautiful, but I just couldn't see it. And sex… I was definitely not in the mood for that. He seemed to have picked up on that, because he hadn't made any advances in over a week. Or maybe… no. I shrugged the insecurities off.

"OK, give me a call if you change your mind." Donna winked at me at the same moment as the bell signaled the end of the school day.

"I'll do that, thanks." I saw the girls come out from the school. "You want a ride home?" I wondered.

"I won't say no to that." She walked around the car and opened the passenger door. She moved the grocery bag to the floor before getting in. "It's still really cold for March."

I had to agree with that. The temperature hadn't reached fifty degrees yet this year. Though if it was any indication of what the summer would be like, I would gladly take it.

"Hi mom," Lily and Catie greeted us in chorus, climbing into the backseat.

"Hey girls, did you have fun in school?" Donna asked while I pulled into the street.

"We're going to the science center tomorrow," Catie told us excitedly. "And we're going to look at dinosaurs and butterflies."

"That sounds like fun," I noted. I knew both Lily and Catie loved everything science related. At least so far. Just wait until they started high school…

They talked about the trip to the science center non-stop until I pulled into the parking lot at Donna's apartment building.

"You have fun tonight," she told me with a wink before getting out of the car. "See you soon."

"What are we doing tonight?" Lily wondered when we were driving down the street a moment later.

"Nothing, why?"

"Then why did she say 'have fun'?"

"Oh, that. I just told her that we're having a sort of celebration tonight, that's all," I explained.

"What are we celebrating?"

"Your dad got a great offer from a very famous movie producer today," I told her.

She thought about that for a moment.

"Oh," she then said, not sounding too interested. Then her face lit up. "Can we have cake to celebrate?"

"Cake is for birthday celebrations," I pointed out. "But I did get chocolate strawberries, we can have those." Lily loved strawberries.

"Are you going to put peanut butter on them?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. "Because that's just gross."

I couldn't help but laugh at that as I pulled into the driveway.

"I'll skip the peanut butter just this once," I promised her before turning the engine off.

Already before I opened the front door, I could hear that Edward was playing. The music drifted through the air, welcoming us home.

"Hey," I greeted him when I had closed the door behind us. "Getting in the mood?"

"Hey." He got up and walked over to me, giving me a welcome home kiss before taking the bag from me. "I felt a little inspired, so I thought I'd try a few things out."

I followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter while he unpacked the groceries. Lily had quickly disappeared upstairs and was – I hoped – doing her homework.

"Nice, veal chops." He gave me a smile.

"I think you've earned your favorite," I said, returning the smile. "I am so proud of you, you know that right?"

"I haven't actually done anything yet," he pointed out. "I mean, I have no idea what he wants. I don't even know what kind of movie it's supposed to be."

"But you'll get all the info you need from Joe, right?"

"Yeah, he said that he'll call tomorrow to tell me when I need to go to LA." He gave me a scrutinizing look. "Are you sure you don't mind me going down there? Joe said that it's just this one time, next week, and that all contact will be through phone after that."

"Of course you should go," I insisted. "We'll be fine here. If it makes you feel better, we can go over to Emmett and Rosalie after work, and you can pick us up on your way from the airport." That last part was actually meant to be a joke.

"That would make me feel better," he said with a sigh. "Now come on. Put your feet up for a while, there's no need to start dinner yet."

He pulled me along into the living room and I willingly sat down on the couch. I decided not to argue about not going back here alone when he was away. It wouldn't exactly be a sacrifice to spend a few hours with Rose and Emmett, and if it eased his mind…

"I hate to think about how exhausted I'm going to be in a few months," I complained. "I'm already beat after just a few hours at work, and it's only going to get worse."

"Maybe you should talk to Michelle about taking time off earlier than you originally planned?" Edward suggested.

"We haven't really set a specific date," I replied. "And she knows that we'll have to be flexible. But I'll keep working as long as I feel up to it. If it gets to be too much, I'll talk to her."

I had half-expected a discussion on the subject, but he seemed to settle for that, because he turned his attention to an episode of _MythBusters_ on TV.

A little later, I went into the kitchen to start dinner. Edward insisted on helping me, though I tried to tell him that it was his big day, and that he shouldn't have to.

The aroma from the meat made my mouth water as I set the table, and my stomach growled.

"Hungry?" Edward noted, sounding amused.

"Eating for three, you know," I joked.

"I guess you are." He laughed.

We had the strawberries for desert, but I saved the champagne until Lily had gone to bed. When Edward was upstairs, tucking her in, I lit some candles in the living room, dimmed the lights and poured two glasses of champagne. His eyes widened when he came back downstairs.

"I would like to make a toast," I said, handing him one of the glasses. "To my amazing, talented, wonderful husband."

He clinked his glass with mine.

"And I would like to make a toast, too," he repeated. "To my beautiful, strong, incredible wife."

"I'll drink to that."

We both took a sip of the champagne and then he leaned down and kissed me.

"Thank you," he mumbled against my lips. "I love you."

"I love you."

**Edward**

On Friday, I continued to work on the nursery-to-be while I waited for Joe to call. I had finished the second coat of paint when my cell chirped in my pocket.

"Hello?"

"_Friday at ten A.M. work for you?"_ Joe asked without a greeting.

"Hello to you to," I said pointedly. "And yes, that's fine. I'll book the flight. Did you say that he wanted me to go to the set too?"

"_Yes, you would be having lunch together and then head out there in the afternoon. Book a late flight home if you really can't stay overnight."_

It wasn't about what I _could_ do, it was about what I _wanted_ to do. And I definitely didn't want to stay in LA overnight.

"I'll get a late flight out of there," I concluded, and heard him sigh over the line. "What kind of movie is it, anyway? I need some background here."

"_A romantic drama,"_ Joe told me. Well, that was easy enough. I'd done a lot of romantic movies. _"You'll get the rest of the info when you meet with him on Friday."_

"OK, that sounds good." I was hoping to get the nursery ready by Wednesday, but if I didn't I'd just lock the door while I was away.

"_Alright, give me a call if there's anything else you need before the meeting,"_ Joe said. _"And if not, have a good flight and I will see you on Friday. I'm joining you for lunch."_

Of course he was. Joe wouldn't miss the opportunity to suck up to one of the most powerful men in Los Angeles. I owed Joe for giving me a shot when I was just getting started, but a bigger suck-up was hard to find. But then he got really good deals, too.

I hung up and called the airline to book my flight. Then I sat down in front of the computer and started picking out furniture for the nursery. I was finishing the painting on Monday and would have to do the shopping on Tuesday and then get everything set up on Wednesday and Thursday.

xxxxx

On Thursday afternoon, a few minutes before Bella and Lily would get home, I took a step back and looked around the room. It was done. I had managed to pull it off.

All the painting was done. The carpet worked just as I had hoped and I smiled at the result. I just hoped Bella would like it. I had stuck to white with the furniture; two cribs, a changing table, two dressers, two rocking chairs in opposite corners, and a bookcase/closet. I had rummaged through the boxes in the basement and found some of the books that Bella used to read to Lily when she was little and put them in the bookcase along with some stuffed animals and a few photos. The closet part was filled with sheets, bedding and extra pillows and covers. I hoped I hadn't forgotten anything essential. The dressers were still empty, because I knew Bella would want to shop for clothes, but other than that, everything was done. Cribs made – and complete with a few stuffed animals – curtains, lamps… I had called Angela to ask where she had gotten the mobile Bella'd had over Lily's crib when she was little, and was thrilled when I found out that they still sold it – she would love it.

Feeling very satisfied with my work, I left the room and went downstairs to wait for Bella and Lily to get home.

**AN: So are you curious to find out what he's done with the nursery? Only one way to find out...**


	23. 23 Comeons and Insecurities

**AN: Time to reveal the nursery! I hope you'll like what I had Edward do with it. And also, Edward's big trip to LA coming up… **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine… **

**23 – Come-ons and Insecurities**

**Bella**

I was surprised to find Edward hovering in the hallway when Lily and I got home on Thursday, an excited and eager look on his face.

"Come on!" he said before we had even taken our coats off. "I want to show you something!"

He disappeared up the stairs before I had a chance to react and I looked after him with a frown on my face. What on earth was he up to now?

After kicking my boots off and hanging my soon-too-small maternity winter coat up – spring really needed to get here soon, I was _not_ buying another one – I obediently followed him up the stairs with Lily close behind me. He was waiting outside what was currently the guest bedroom closest to the master bedroom, the room we had decided to turn into the nursery. He looked like Lily did when she was too excited to stand still.

"Come on, come on." He ushered me forward until I was standing in front of the door and then covered my eyes with his hands.

"Hey!" I objected, but he just laughed behind me.

"Can you get the door, Lil?" he asked her, and I heard the door open, followed by a small gasp from Lily. He led me into the room and stopped after a moment, his hands still covering my eyes. I could tell from the smell that it was freshly painted. Had he been decorating the nursery when I was at work? It would be just like him, to do everything himself so I wouldn't even be able to complain about him not letting me do anything.

"Can I look now?" I wondered impatiently, and he finally took his hands away.

At first, all I could do was stare. I turned slowly in a circle, taking the whole room in.

"What do you think?" he asked nervously when I hadn't said anything for a minute. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," I mumbled, feeling a few tears on my cheek. Damn hormones! "It's absolutely perfect."

The green color of the carpet matched the bottom of the walls, which were painted to look like grass. The rest of the walls and the ceiling were blue, with a sun above us and clouds dotted here and there. There were a couple of trees painted along the walls and some bushes and flowers. And… I had to touch them to make sure they were stickers and not actually painted on the walls. Yes, wallies of Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, Eeyore, Rabbit, and even Christopher Robin.

"Wow…" Lily murmured next to me.

"It's really amazing." I wiped a few tears away. I wouldn't have been able to come up with something like this in my wildest dreams. "When did you do all this?"

He shrugged. "While you were at work. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, mission accomplished." I laughed through the tears. I was just starting to tear my eyes away from the walls to the furniture. Matching, white cribs, dressers and rocking chairs and a changing table and bookcase. The cribs were already made with Winnie the Pooh bedding and above them there were two mobiles just like the one Lily'd had over her crib. That one had broken years ago. "Oh my God…" I touched the little figures. "How did you find these?" I asked.

"Still for sale at Wal-Mart," he replied. "I talked to Angela."

"That little sneaky…" She hadn't said a word to me.

"You really like it?" Edward wondered again, still sounding a little insecure.

"I absolutely love it," I assured him, going over and wrapping my arms around his waist. "It couldn't be more perfect."

"Good," he mumbled against my hair, his arms tight around me. "I was a little worried that you might be mad I didn't let you help."

I laughed. He knew me so well.

"I'll admit, I was at first. But then I saw what you've done… wow."

He let out a sigh of relief.

xxxxx

The next day, Edward had already left when I woke up. I knew his flight was leaving early, and that he probably hadn't wanted to wake me up, but I still didn't like not waking up next to him. It sort of threw my entire morning off balance.

I got ready for work and made breakfast for me and Lily. When we were in the car on the way to the school, I got a text message.

_On my way to the studio – they sent a car to pick me up at the airport, can you believe it! Flight was fine. Call you later, love you – E_

I felt some part of me relax a little. Every time he was on a plane, I got a little tense. I wasn't afraid of flying at all, really, and it wasn't a problem when I flew myself, but I still didn't like to think about him stuck in that metal thing miles above the earth. Gave me the creeps.

Like I had promised, Lily and I went to Rosalie and Emmett's place when I had picked her up after school. Lily didn't mind this at all; she got to play with Noah and help Rose feed Ellie, so she was perfectly content to stay there all afternoon. I didn't really mind, either.

Dinner was in the oven, Ellie was asleep, Lily was keeping Noah entertained, and Rosalie and I were sitting in the living room watching TV when Emmett got home a little after six.

"Did you hear?" he asked as soon as he got into the room, taking the remote from Rose and changing the channel to CNN. A woman appeared on the screen, LAX in the background. I felt myself slowly starting to panic and tried to focus on breathing deeply so I wouldn't start hyperventilating.

"_A bomb threat has stopped all activity at LAX international airport this afternoon. Bomb squads have been called in to search the area, but as that will take all night, the airport has been closed and all flights cancelled. Officials hope that the air traffic will be able to start again tomorrow morning. No information about where the threat might have come from has been released at this point."_

I let out a sigh of relief at the same moment as my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, it's me,"_ Edward's voice came over the line. _"Did you hear about the airport?"_

"Yeah, we just saw it on the news."

"_I've tried to get a flight out of one of the other airports around LA, but everything's already booked."_ He sighed. _"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to stay here until tomorrow. Joe's set me up at a hotel."_

"Don't worry about it, it's fine," I told him.

"_Would you do me a favor? Could you stay at Emmett and Rose's tonight? I don't want you to be home alone."_

I thought that was just a _little_ too overprotective.

"I don't want to intrude on them like that," I objected.

"_Please?"_

I considered it for a moment.

"I'll call Alice, ask her to stay over at the house," I said. "Would that work for you?"

"_Yes, thank you."_ He had obviously not noticed the sarcasm in my voice. I sighed.

I heard a female voice say his name and then ask something in the background, and Edward covered the phone to answer.

"_I have to go,"_ he said, returning to the phone. _"I'm having dinner with Paul and a couple of the actors from the movie."_

"Oh." I tried to keep my mind from connecting the female voice with that. Hot actress… But I couldn't help but ask, "So, who're in it anyway? Anyone really famous?"

"_I guess. Warren Daly, Gavin Abrams, Kate Denali."_

Kate Denali. Great. Only the sexiest female actress in Hollywood, according to _People Magazine_.

"Oh." I tried to keep the insecurity out of my voice.

"_Anyway, I really have to go, they're waiting for me. I'll call you tomorrow when I know what flight I'll be on. Love you."_

"Love… you." But he had already hung up.

"So, Eddie's stuck in LA till tomorrow?" Emmett concluded when I had hung up the phone.

"He really needs to stop being so overprotective," Rosalie complained. "I mean, what does he think will happen if he leaves you alone for one night?"

I didn't answer that. I knew what he was afraid would happen.

I was too preoccupied with trying to convince myself that there was absolutely no reason to worry about my husband having dinner with Kate Denali. _And other people,_ a little voice whispered. _It's not like they'll be having a romantic, candlelit dinner just the two of them._ That didn't help one bit.

"Why was he in such a hurry, anyway?" Emmett wondered.

I cleared my throat. "He was having dinner with Paul and some other people from the movie."

"Oh, that's why you wondered if there were any famous people in it." Rosalie nodded. "Is there?"

"Er… yeah." I tried to remember the other names Edward had said. "Warren Daly and Gavin Abrams… and Kate Denali."

"Whoa." Emmett's eyes widened. "Well, Edward always gets all the fun. Kate Denali… wow."

Rosalie slapped him over the head.

"What?" he complained. "She's hot."

He didn't need to point that out. I tried to keep my eyes on the television and not let them scrutinize my own body. I already felt like a hippo, no need to confirm that I looked like one, too.

Apparently, Rosalie got her point across to Emmett, because he didn't say anything else.

"I should call Alice," I mumbled, hitting the speed dial.

"_Casa Hale, how may I help you?"_ Jasper answered after a moment.

"Hey Jasper, is Alice there?"

"_Hang on just a minute, Bella."_

I waited for Alice to come to the phone, staring straight ahead at a spot on the wall next to the TV. I could feel Rosalie's eyes on me, but didn't particularly want to meet them.

"_Hey Bella, what's up?"_ Alice's voice came over the line.

"I was wondering if you'd like to play babysitter tonight?" I asked her. "Your brother's being ridiculous, but I don't see a point in arguing with him. But if you have plans, I totally understand. It is Friday night, after all."

She laughed. _"No, that's OK, we didn't have anything planned. And Edward texted me a moment ago, so I'm already in on the plan."_ It said something that even Alice wasn't going to try to talk him out of it.

"Great. We're having dinner here, so if you want to come over around eight or so. Jasper can come too, if he wants. The more the merrier." And the less it would feel like I was being babysat.

"Sure, we'll be there. See you soon."

I hardly registered the looks both Rosalie and Emmett gave me through dinner. I was too busy trying not to think about my husband having dinner with one of the most beautiful women alive.

**Edward**

A car was waiting for me at LAX when I landed at eight thirty. This in itself was a sign that I wasn't meeting with one of my usual clients. Normally, I took a cab to wherever the meeting took place. I felt a little important sitting in the backseat, the windows tainted and a wall between me and the driver.

When we got to the studio, the driver got out of the car and held the door open for me before I had a chance to get out on my own. It felt a little weird.

"Er… thanks," I said with a – hopefully – grateful smile. The guy just nodded, got back in the car and drove off. I went into the building he had dropped me off in front of and walked up to the reception desk. "I'm Edward Cullen, I have a meeting with Paul Parker at ten."

The young woman behind the desk looked at a screen in front of her and then smiled up at me.

"He's not here yet, but I was told that you could wait in his office. Just push the button for the penthouse in the elevator, and it'll take you right on up there. Would you like something while you wait? Coffee, something to eat?"

"Well, I didn't eat anything on the plane…"

"I'll send some breakfast up for you," she concluded with a smile.

"Thank you."

I got into the elevator and pressed the button for the penthouse, like she had told me. It glided silently upwards and I was soon on the top floor.

The entire story seemed to be the one office. The elevator was in the center, and all around, the glass walls offered an amazing view of downtown LA, stretching to the sea on one side. There seemed to be four separate areas of the office; the actual office part with a mahogany desk, an entertainment area with a couple of couches and a television set, a library area with at least a few hundred books, and a dinner or conference area with a large table surrounded by ten chairs. I headed for the last and sat down at the head of the table.

There were a few magazines on the table, and I flipped through one while I waited. I had only gotten to the third page when the elevator doors opened and revealed another young woman, carrying a tray.

"Here you are, Mr. Cullen," she said when she put the tray down on the table in front of me. "If there's anything else you want, just call down to the front desk. It's speed dial one on the phone over there." She pointed at the desk.

"Thank you."

She smiled and disappeared the way she had come. When she was gone, I lifted the cover from the tray and found a plate of pancakes, some toast, a bowl of fruit, a glass of orange juice and a coffee pot. They really went all out.

I dug into the food, realizing I was even hungrier than I had thought. By the time I had finished the pancakes, the fruit and half the toast and pushed the tray away from me, it was almost ten o'clock. I wondered if I should call and have someone get the tray, but at that moment, the elevator doors opened again, this time revealing the very man I was here to meet.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen," he greeted me, extending a hand which I shook. "I hope you have been well taken care of while you waited."

"Yes, thank you," I replied. "And thank you for considering me for your movie, Mr. Parker, it's an honor."

"Well, I have been following your work for quite some time now," he told me, making my eyes widen. "You are one of the most talented composers out there at the moment, as far as I'm concerned."

"Wow… that's just… wow." I didn't know what else to say. Paul Parker, the biggest movie producer in Hollywood right now, thought I was one of the most talented composers. The thought seemed impossible to take in.

"Now, why don't we get down to business?" he suggested, gesturing for me to follow him to the desk. He pushed a button on the intercom before sitting down.

"_Yes, Mr. Parker?"_ a female voice came over the line.

"Would you send someone up here, please Leanna, Mr. Cullen is finished with his breakfast."

"_Right away, Mr. Parker."_

"Thank you." He sat down behind the desk and I followed his example, claiming the chair across from him. "Now, this is what I had in mind…"

xxxxx

Two and a half hours later, Mr. Parker stood up behind his desk and held out his hand to me. I got to my feet and shook it.

"I think this collaboration is going to turn out wonderfully," he said with a smile. "I have great faith in you, and I think you're perfect for this movie."

We had discussed different possibilities, themes, artists, and seemed to be on the same page about most things.

"I'm looking forward to working with you, sir."

"Now, I won't have you calling me 'sir'," he objected. "If we're going to be working together on this movie, I would prefer it if we were on a first name basis."

"Alright Paul." It felt odd to call him by his first name.

"Good. Now, Edward, I told Joe that we would meet him at Madeo at one. I hope you like Italian?"

"Italian will be great, s… I mean Paul."

He chuckled.

"Alright then, let's go."

Lunch was interesting – mostly I was watching Joe suck up to Paul and Paul try to keep from laughing at his blatant attempts at being subtle. Joe was either completely oblivious or just didn't care. At two thirty Paul suggested that we might continue to the set, and Joe started hinting that he wouldn't mind going with us.

"I know you're a busy man, Joe, so we won't take up any more of your time," Paul said, and I had to repress a smile at the disappointed expression on Joe's face.

"Right, right, need to get back to work," he mumbled. "It was nice meeting you, sir." He shook hands with Paul. "And I'll talk to you soon, Edward."

I looked after his disappearing form and couldn't help but laugh.

"He was quite eager to come along, wasn't he?" Paul noted. "I'm sorry, I just can't stand people like that, who say whatever they think you want them to say and try to suck up."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not his biggest fan either," I assured him. I had been fascinated and a little flattered when Joe first started sucking up to me, after my first big movie, but now it was just annoying.

"I thought as much." He glanced at his watch. "Shall we?"

Paul's chauffeur was waiting for us, and we took the car back to the studio, where the movie was already shooting. I didn't usually visit the sets when I worked on music for a movie; the script and some ideas about what the producer wanted usually had to do. It would be interesting to get to see the action firsthand.

Paul showed me where I could watch without being in the way and then joined the people behind the cameras.

I had booked a flight that was leaving LAX at seven thirty, so at five, I was starting to get a little anxious. Paul was still deeply involved in the production, and I wasn't quite sure how to get his attention to tell him that I had to go.

I had just decided to just go up to him and say it straight out when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Edward, did you hear?"_ Joe asked.

"Hear what?" I frowned.

"_There's been a bomb threat at LAX. All flights are cancelled."_

What the…?

"Are you serious?" What were the odds of something like that happening the one time I was in LA in months?

"_Dead serious. Turn on the television."_

"I don't think there's a TV here, but I believe you."

"_I got you a room at the Sheraton Downtown, just give your name at the reception. I asked them to make sure there's a toothbrush in your room, too, thought you might need one since you weren't planning on staying over night."_

"I think I'll see if I can get a flight from another airport," I objected.

"_You can try,"_ he said doubtfully. _"But I doubt you'll be the first one to think of that."_

I sighed. "I'll give it a try, anyway. I'll call you if I need you to cancel the reservation."

I spent forty-five minutes calling every airline I could think of, trying to get a flight out of any airport within a ten mile radius. Unfortunately, Joe seemed to be right. Everything was booked.

"Something wrong?"

I looked up at Paul, who was approaching me with a concerned expression on his face.

"Seems like I'll be stuck here until tomorrow," I told him. "Someone's called in a bomb threat at LAX, and all flights are cancelled."

"That's too bad. Joe told me that your wife's pregnant, and I understand that you don't want to be away from her over night."

"Yeah. Doesn't look like there's much to do about that. I should probably call her, tell her what's going on."

"Hi there!" a cheerful voice interrupted me just as I was about to hit the speed dial. I looked up to see one of the actresses, Kate... I didn't remember her last name, standing next to Paul.

"Hi." I offered her a polite smile.

"I'm Kate Denali." She extended her hand and I shook it. She wouldn't let go right away, and I carefully pulled my hand away.

"Edward Cullen."

"Right, you're making the music for the movie." She nodded. "Paul was talking about it the other day."

"That's right." I really wanted to call Bella, but it felt rude to do that when she was talking to me.

"Listen, Edward," Paul cut in. "Why don't you join us for dinner, if you're stuck here anyway? We're just wrapping up here for the day, and then we'll be heading out."

"Yes, come with us," Kate encouraged.

Well, I did have to eat…

"Sure. I just need to call my wife."

I thought I saw a disappointed look on Kate's face, but she quickly turned away, so I wasn't sure. She and Paul started discussing something about the movie, and I took the opportunity to make the call.

"_Hello?"_ Bella's voice sounded anxious over the line, and I assumed that she had seen the news.

"Hey, it's me," I greeted her. "Did you hear about the airport?"

"_Yeah, we just saw it on the news."_

"I've tried to get a flight out of one of the other airports around LA, but everything's already booked," I explained. "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to stay here until tomorrow. Joe's set me up at a hotel."

"_Don't worry about it, it's fine,"_ she brushed it off. Of course she would say that.

I thought about how to word what I wanted for a second, then realized that she wouldn't like it no matter how I said it and decided to not even try to sugar coat it.

"Would you do me a favor?" I asked. "Could you stay at Emmett and Rose's tonight? I don't want you to be home alone."

I could imagine her frowning over the line.

"_I don't want to intrude on them like that,"_ she argued, sounding a little annoyed.

"Please?" I knew, logically, that she would be fine on her own. But still…

She was silent for a minute.

"_I'll call Alice, ask her to stay over at the house,"_ she finally said. _"Would that work for you?"_

"Yes, thank you." I chose to ignore the sarcasm in her voice. She could be mad at me when I got home.

"Edward?" Kate said quietly, and I turned to her to see what she wanted. "We're about to leave, are you coming?"

I covered the mouthpiece with my hand.

"I'll be right there, give me a minute."

"OK."

"I have to go," I told Bella. "I'm having dinner with Paul and a couple of the actors from the movie."

"_Oh."_ She hesitated for a moment. _"So, who're in it anyway? Anyone really famous?"_

I hadn't realized she was curious. She usually wasn't all that interested in celebrities and stuff like that.

"I guess." I shrugged. "Warren Daly, Gavin Abrams, Kate Denali."

"_Oh."_ There was an odd undertone that I couldn't place in her voice. Paul waved at me to come with them and I hurried to wrap up the call.

"Anyway, I really have to go, they're waiting for me. I'll call you tomorrow when I know what flight I'll be on. Love you."

I hit the 'End' button and hurried after Paul to the car.

The restaurant we went to was one of the more popular in downtown Los Angeles. The food was pretty good, but I couldn't really figure out what all the fuss was about.

"I should probably call it a night," I said when I glanced at my watch and realized it was almost ten o'clock. "I'm hoping to get an early flight out tomorrow morning."

"You do that." Paul nodded. "I'll be in touch in a couple of weeks, see how things are going. No, no…" he continued when I got my wallet out of my inside pocket. "I've got this."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, just go already. Have a good night.

"OK." I stood up.

"I think I'm going to head out too," Kate Denali, who had been sitting opposite me, said and stood up as well. "Want to share a cab?"

I hesitated for a moment, not sure I liked the smile on her face. It was… suggestive, somehow.

"I'm staying at the Sheraton Downtown," I told her, hoping that she would be staying at a different hotel. In the opposite direction. Preferably all the way across town.

"Great." A big smile appeared on her face. "That's where I'm staying too."

Of course.

"Sure, then." I didn't know how to say no without sounding rude.

"Come on."

I followed her out of the restaurant and got into the back of the taxi she quickly flagged down.

"So you're not from here?" she asked when the cab was weaving through the traffic.

"I grew up here, but I live in Seattle now," I told her.

"Oh." She frowned. "I could never live there, all that rain! How do you stand it?"

"You get used to it after a while."

"But why would you want to?" she insisted, sounding like she couldn't believe people would voluntarily live anywhere but in LA. "I mean, when you can live here?"

I was relieved that we were already at the hotel by now, and gratefully paid the cabbie before getting out of the car.

"So, you're just in town till tomorrow?" Kate asked, following me into the lobby.

"Yeah," I replied curtly. "It was nice to meet you."

I meant that as goodbye, but obviously, she didn't get that. While I went to the reception to get my key, she waited a few feet away.

"So…" she started when I was done, following me towards the elevators. "Want to come up to my suite for… a nightcap?"

I stared at her for a moment, hoping that she was kidding. But she looked very serious.

"No." I pushed the button for the elevator, hoping it would get here quickly.

"Why not?"

"I'm not interested." She was obviously used to getting whatever she wanted, so it was probably best to be straight with her.

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow and took one step closer to me. Automatically, I took two steps back to try to get away from her. I wondered if the guys she usually hit on found the pushy attitude attractive. I just thought it was annoying.

"I'm married," I pointed out, unnecessarily. She had heard me say I was going to call my wife earlier, after all. Not that it would have mattered if I hadn't been, I still wouldn't have been interested.

"I don't mind."

I was sure she didn't.

"Well, I do."

The elevator doors opened and I quickly got in. Unfortunately, she followed me.

"Oh, come on," she insisted. "She doesn't have to know. What happens in LA stays in LA."

"I think that's Las Vegas," I corrected, pressing the button for my floor. "And it's not about her finding out, it's about the fact that I love my wife and have no intention of ever cheating on her. And, like I said, I'm not interested."

"Cheating, that's such a strong word." She took a step closer again, and, again, I took a step back. "We're just having a little fun."

"No, we're not." The elevator doors finally opened, and I gratefully stepped out. "Goodnight."

"Oh well." I didn't turn around when she spoke, but I could practically hear the suggestive smile on her face. "Your loss."

The elevator doors closed and I let out a sigh of relief before hurrying to my room.

**Bella**

"Hey, guys, sorry about this," I greeted Alice and Jasper when I let them into the house a little later that evening.

"We don't mind," Jasper assured me, closing the door behind them. "TV here or at home, same thing."

"You OK?" Alice wondered, scrutinizing my face.

"Yeah." No. My overactive mind had spent the past few hours imagining everything that could happen in Los Angeles.

I usually wouldn't even consider the possibility that Edward would cheat on me. I didn't now, not really. But long-forgotten insecurities, a currently very low self-esteem and the fact that we hadn't had sex in over two weeks were working very hard to make me doubt that. He was a guy. He had needs. I hated myself for thinking like that, doubting him, but I just couldn't help it.

"Why don't I believe you?" Alice's voice brought me back to the present.

"I don't know, Alice, why don't you tell me?"

I turned my back on her and followed Jasper into the living room, where Lily was watching TV.

It was stupid to think that I would be able to get away from her that easily, of course.

She didn't say anything while we were watching TV, and I quickly said goodnight after Lily had gone up to bed. But just as I had changed into the huge t-shirt I was currently sleeping in there was a knock on the door.

"Yes, Alice?" I called through the door, no doubt in my mind that she was on the other side.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" she asked as soon as she had closed the door behind her.

I sighed and climbed into the bed, Alice sitting down on the edge.

"It's stupid," I mumbled. I felt stupid, saying it out loud. "I'm just being silly, I know."

"Tell me anyway," Alice she insisted. "It might make you feel better to talk about it."

"Edward was going to dinner with Paul Parker and some of the actors from the movie." I hesitated. "Kate Denali's in the movie."

"Oh." She waited until I looked up at her before she continued. "You don't really believe that he would do that, do you?"

"No, I don't, that's why it's stupid." I sighed. "But I just… look at me! And she's obviously hot, and I haven't really been feeling all that sexy lately, and we haven't… you know. And I hate that I'm thinking like this, but I can't help it."

"Do you want to call him?"

"No, no." I shook my head. "I'm fine, I'll be fine."

"OK." She squeezed my hand. "I'll be right across the hall if you need me."

"Thanks." I gave her a weak smile before she left the room.

I made up my mind to not think about it anymore and crawled under the covers. But I still lay awake for a long time.

**Edward**

I was relieved when I turned on the television in my hotel room at six thirty the following morning and saw that LAX had been opened again. I quickly checked out of the room and took a cab to the airport, managing to get a flight to Seattle at eight thirty.

I went through security and then bought a bagel before I pulled my cell out of my pocket and called Bella. It was a little after eight, she would be awake.

"_Hello?"_ she answered after the second ring, sounding tired.

"Hey, you OK? I didn't wake you, did I?"

"_No, no. I just haven't slept a lot. Couldn't really get comfortable, you know."_

"Oh. I'm sorry." I frowned and wondered if this was the first time, or if she'd been having trouble sleeping for a while and not told me. I wouldn't put it past her.

"_Not your fault. Or, I guess it is, sort of."_ She laughed once.

"I'm at the airport now, got on the eight thirty flight, so I'll be in Seattle a little after eleven," I told her.

"_OK, sounds good. I'll see you later, then."_

"See you later. I love you."

She hesitated for a split second, and I wondered what that was about.

"_Love you."_

I hung up the phone just as a voice announced that my plane was boarding.

**Bella**

On Saturday morning, I was completely beat. I'd barely slept, and when I had, I'd dreamt about Edward surrounded by beautiful women. At eight, I decided that I might as well get up, so I went downstairs and started making pancakes for breakfast.

Fifteen minutes later, Lily stumbled down the stairs, still half asleep. She sat down at the table and started eating a pancake, still with her eyes closed. Alice and Jasper came downstairs a few minutes later and joined us.

I had just finished my first pancake when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, you OK? I didn't wake you, did I?" _It was a relief to hear Edward's voice over the line.

"No, no. I just haven't slept a lot. Couldn't really get comfortable, you know," I quickly lied, ignoring the look Alice gave me across the table.

"_Oh. I'm sorry."_

Why was he apologizing?

"Not your fault," I assured him. Then I realized that it was, in a way. "Or, I guess it is, sort of." I laughed.

"_I'm at the airport now, got on the eight thirty flight, so I'll be in Seattle a little after eleven." _

"OK, sounds good. I'll see you later, then."

"_See you later. I love you."_

The words made a lump appear in my throat and I had to swallow a few times before I could answer him.

"Love you." I hung up the phone and sat staring at it for a moment.

"Can I go over to Catie's right away after breakfast?" Lily, who had apparently woken up now, asked with a hopeful expression, pulling me out of my little daze.

Donna was taking the girls and Cole to the aquarium today, but it wasn't even nine yet, and definitely too early.

"Sure," I agreed, too tired to argue.

"We can take her," Alice offered. "We need to be getting home, anyway."

"Thanks, guys."

As I cleaned up after breakfast, a plan started forming in my head.

We would have the house to ourselves for a while this afternoon. Lily was having dinner at Catie's and wouldn't be home until seven at the earliest.

I might not be a hot Hollywood superstar, but I could still please my husband.

**Edward **

A little before noon, I was leaving the parking lot at SeaTac. The weekend traffic was worse than usual, and it took me nearly an hour to get home.

"Hello?" I called when I opened the front door. "Anyone home?"

"Bedroom!" Bella called from upstairs and I frowned. Was she still in bed? Maybe it wasn't just that she was tired, maybe she really wasn't feeling well. I quickly made my way upstairs.

"Hey, are you…" I cut myself off when I opened the door and saw that the curtains were drawn and there were candles lit around the room. "O… K?"

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

I turned at the sound of her voice and saw her coming out of the bathroom, wearing some sort of negligee. For a moment, I couldn't speak. The sight of her literally took my breath away. She continued until she was right in front of me, then she pulled me down for a kiss. A very sensual kiss. My arms wrapped around her of their own accord and I kissed her back.

"What's all this about?" I asked breathlessly after a moment, pulling back. "Not that I mind."

"What, I can't seduce my husband when I want?" she wondered, pouting.

"No, it's not that, I just…" I hesitated, not sure how to express it. "I just got the feeling that you haven't really been… in the mood lately."

"Maybe I am now." She reached up to kiss me again, but there was something in her voice that made me take a step back.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Tears rose in her eyes and she angrily wiped them away. "If you don't want to, just say so."

"I do want to, of course I do. I always want you. But not like this."

She shook her head.

"It's fine, I get it. I know I'm not hot like…" She cut herself off, but I saw where she was going.

"Is that what this is about? Do you think that something happened in LA?" The thought seemed absurd to me, but if she actually believed that…

"No," she mumbled, slumping down on the bed. I knelt down in front of her and forced her to look at me.

"How could you think that?"

"I didn't, not really." She sighed. "It's just… I wouldn't blame you, you know. Look at me. And she's so… perfect."

"_You're_ perfect." How was I supposed to get through to her? "I love _you_. I've loved you since the moment I met you, and I will always love you. I wouldn't give up what we have for anything, and definitely not for random sex with some actress who, quite frankly, is really annoying."

"Annoying?" she asked hopefully.

"Really annoying." I didn't think it was a good idea to relate my… talk with the actress in question. Under normal circumstances, I knew Bella and I would have been able to laugh about it. But right now, I was pretty sure it wouldn't help the situation one bit.

She leaned her forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't be, I get it. I mean, if you went out to dinner with Brad Pitt or someone, I'd probably be a little insecure, too," I tried to joke.

It worked; she laughed.

"Better?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"I understand. You don't have any reason to, but I do understand." I got up. "You want to change into something… less comfortable? We could watch a movie."

"That sounds good." She disappeared into the bathroom.

I turned the television on and put a DVD in the player before getting a blanket from the closet. Then I got into the bed and leaned against the headboard. After a minute or two, Bella came back into the room.

"Come here," I told her, holding my arms open. She crawled into the bed and snuggled up to me, leaning her head against my shoulder and sighing contentedly. I did the same.

This was the best.

**AN: Just wanted to say that I might not be able to update as usual this week; I have class Monday and Tuesday, working Wednesday and then I have one Spanish-financial-text-translation to hand in and a deadline on my essay, so kind of busy. I'll update as soon as I can though, promise!**


	24. 24 Countdown

**AN: Next chapter up! Sorry about the delay, but it's been a hectic week. I'll try to keep the updates more regular from now on. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

**24 – Countdown**

**Bella**

As March turned into April, getting comfortable was becoming more and more difficult. I remembered the last month before Lily had been born, which had been exactly the same. And now I had about three months to go. That thought was not appealing, not at all.

"I've changed my mind," I told Edward one night when we were watching TV. I squirmed around on the couch for the umpteenth time since the movie we were watching had started, less than an hour ago, trying to find a somewhat comfortable position.

"About what?" he asked.

"No more kids. Not just not right now, but not ever. I am never going to be this uncomfortable again." I gave up and just leaned back against the couch. I'd have to move in a minute anyway.

"Come on, lie down," he told me. I did as he said, leaning my head against the armrest. He pulled my feet into his lap and started rubbing them. "Better?"

"Mmmm, that feels good," I mumbled. My feet had been aching pretty much non-stop lately. The new position was a little more comfortable, too. Lying down was better than sitting up; as long as I wasn't trying to sleep. That was usually when the babies decided it was time for the daily tap-dance practice. "You do realize you're going to have to do that every night now, right?"

"Not a problem," he replied. "Whatever makes you more comfortable. I'll even throw in a backrub too, if you want."

"That sounds heavenly."

He kept his word; every night when we were watching TV he would rub my feet and before we went to sleep, he would rub my back. It didn't take all the back pain away, but it made it a little easier to sleep. As long as no-one was moving around too much. I didn't remember waking up from when Lily kicked, but I supposed, since there were two in there, that there wasn't as much room and I felt their movements more. It was still not a lot of fun to jerk awake in the middle of the night from a kick in the ribs. I could feel them both moving now; usually not at the same time, though.

The second weekend of April, I called Alice. I needed to refill my closet – nothing fit anymore – and though shopping with Alice wasn't exactly on top of my 'Favorite things to do' list, I had to admit that she could be efficient when she wanted to. She had stopped trying to drag me along to every store in the mall weeks ago, and now we just went straight to the maternity store and she picked out things for me to try on. Even so, I was going to try to get her to go on her own this time. My feet were already aching, and an hour in a store, trying on clothes, wasn't exactly going to help that.

"_Hello?"_ Alice answered almost before the first ring.

"Hi, were you waiting by the phone?" I wondered.

"_Nope, just happened to pass it at the right moment. What's up?"_

"Will you do me a favor?"

"_Depends on what you want,"_ she replied warily and I sighed. I had a pretty good idea that she wouldn't let me get out of going with her, but I might as well at least give it a go.

"Not much. But I'm down to the last t-shirt that still fits, and I'm really not that eager to hit the mall. Could you just pick up a few things for me? Please!" I tried to use my most persuasive voice.

"_No, we've talked about this. You have to come with me. How am I supposed to know what will fit, with the way those two are growing?"_

"Just get the biggest size they have, I'll need it soon enough anyway," I said grumpily.

"_No. Look, I'll pick you up and I'll drive you home, but you're going to have to do some of the work yourself. I'll even buy you ice cream,"_ she tempted.

I was sure she wasn't going to cave, so I decided to just give in with good grace.

"Fine. But I'm not trying anything on!" I was already sweating like a pig, I didn't even want to think about what half an hour in a fitting room would do.

"_Great. Pick you up in fifteen!"_ And she hung up.

I grumpily put the phone down and waddled into the living room where Edward was playing a video game with Lily. He looked up as I entered the room and smiled at the expression on my face.

"Couldn't convince Alice to go shopping for you then?" he concluded.

"No," I replied sulkily. "I don't get it, she loves shopping, especially for other people. Why not me?"

"She just wants you to get out of the house," he reasoned.

"I leave the house every day," I objected. "I go to work."

"Yes, but you don't go anywhere else," he pointed out.

"You wouldn't either if you had to carry around twenty pounds of extra weight," I muttered and flopped down on the couch.

He paused the game and came over and sat down on the couch next to me.

"I know you're uncomfortable," he said, rubbing my lower back a little. I leaned into the touch; it felt nice. "And Alice isn't trying to be mean or anything, you know that. Anyway, didn't you say you wanted to look at some baby clothes? We've barely gotten anything yet."

"I was actually thinking online shopping," I admitted and he laughed. "But I guess one store with baby clothes won't kill me… probably."

"That's the spirit," he encouraged. He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and handed me his credit card. "Take this and get whatever you want. You can buy the whole store, if you want to. That way, you might not have to go back for a while."

"Thank you." I gave him a kiss. His idea sounded very good. I'd get more clothes, and bigger, than I needed right now and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have to go back.

That thought made my mood a little lighter, and when a honk announced Alice's arrival, I had even managed to get a little excited about getting some baby stuff. I really needed to look at strollers, too.

"Hey," Alice greeted me when I got into the car. "I was expecting a little more reluctance, actually. Maybe even having to pull you kicking and screaming from the house. You don't look as annoyed as I thought you would."

"I'm hoping this will be the last shopping trip for a while," I told her.

"Aren't you optimistic." She laughed. "Where to?"

"Do you mind going to Southcenter? I know it's a bit of a drive, but the store where I've found a stroller is down there, and I thought I'd get that done too while I'm at it."

"Sure, not a problem." She hesitated. "But I'm not sure we'll be able to fit a stroller into the car."

I realized she was probably right. The Mini wasn't built for that.

"We can take the Volvo," I suggested. "But you're still going to have to drive, I don't fit behind the wheel anymore."

I had started riding with Allie to work a couple of weeks ago, and Edward picked me up in the afternoon.

"No problem."

We quickly traded cars and were off.

"Isn't it a little nice to get out of the house at least?" Alice wondered when we had parked and were heading into the mall. "The sun's out, the birds are singing."

I realized she was right. At some point, spring had arrived, and I hadn't noticed.

"I guess," I admitted. "As long as you're not going to drag me around all day, it'll be fine."

"I'm not a complete idiot, I get that you're not up to running around in stores the whole day," Alice replied with a glare, seeming offended that I would even think something like that. "We'll hit the maternity store and maybe look at some baby clothes – if you're up for it! – and then we can have lunch before stopping by that other store with the strollers on the way home."

That was exactly what I'd had in mind.

"Thanks, Ali."

She only nodded and then took off in the direction of the maternity store. The clerk, a woman in her fifties, welcomed us with a big smile.

"Hello, how may I help you?" she asked in an overly cheerful voice.

"I'm not picky," I told her. "Anything that fits is fine."

"Oh, of course." She beamed at me, and I got the distinct impression that she was about to reach out and touch my stomach. I took a step back. One thing about being pregnant that I hated was that, for some reason, complete strangers thought it was OK for them to touch me. It was like my stomach had become public property or something. "Any day now, dear?"

My eyes narrowed at her assumption.

"No," I snapped, even though I knew it was an easy mistake to make. I did look like I was ready to pop at any moment.

I resolutely turned my back on her and started looking through the clothes on the nearest rack. I saw Alice mouth the word "Twins" to the poor woman, who looked very apologetic.

I had stumbled into the right part of the store, and Alice helped me pick out five pairs of pants and a dozen tops, half of which – hopefully – would work until they were no longer needed. Alice tried to convince me to get a pair of shorts, but I refused point-blank.

"I know Seattle isn't exactly the sunniest place in the US, but odds are that it'll get warm at some point in June," she tried to argue. "You're going to regret it when you're all hot and uncomfortable."

"I'm going to be hot and uncomfortable whatever I'm wearing," I countered. "And no way I'm putting on a pair of shorts; I can barely see my own legs, I'm not about to show them off in public."

Alice seemed to realize that she was fighting a lost cause, because she gave up.

I paid for the clothes and we left the store.

"Grilled subs for lunch?" Alice suggested, steering me in the direction of the escalators. "And then we can stop at the baby department at JCPenney on the way to the car."

"Sounds like a plan." I was starving.

It didn't take long to get our food, and soon we were in JCPenney. I remembered how hard it had been to not buy too much back when Lily was born; there were just so many cute outfits. Well, that wasn't a problem now. For one thing, we needed two of everything, and for another, I had Edward's credit card; no limit.

I made my way through the baby department, piling clothes into Alice's arms. Everything I liked, I got two of. One blue or green and one in a more neutral color, like yellow or white. We still had a lot of Lily's old clothes in the basement, and we could buy more if our little mystery turned out to be a girl. But all the adorable little pink dresses and onesies were very tempting.

"Er… are you about done, or should I go get a shopping cart?" Alice asked after fifteen minutes, her voice muffled. I could barely see her behind the pile of clothes in her arms.

"No, I think I'm done." We would get by on this for at least a month. And there was still the baby shower, which would take place at the end of June, since Renée had insisted on being here. I had no doubt that both she and Esme had already bought way too much stuff.

We headed for the register, and I picked up a few things along the way. The cashier's eyes widened when she saw the mountain of clothes in Alice's arms, and she called to her colleague to come and help.

Twenty minutes later, the bags of clothes were in the backseat and we were parked in front of Cribs2Bunks.

"You sure know how to shop," Alice noted when we walked into the store.

"Might as well get it all done at once," I replied, shrugging. "Besides, I've learnt from the best."

She laughed at that as I scanned the store, finding the right part and pulling her along.

"Are we just talking strollers?" she wondered. "I know the furniture is done, but car seats?"

"Yeah, car seats are on the list too," I told her, scrutinizing the strollers lined up against the wall. "We're probably going to have to trade the Volvo in, though, to be able to fit two car seats and Lily's booster seat in the back."

"That shouldn't be necessary," a voice said from behind us. We both turned to find a young woman smiling at us. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard what you were saying, and I know from experience that there's no problem fitting three kids in the back of a Volvo, car seats included."

"Oh, thanks." I wasn't going to take her word for it, but it would be easy enough to find out.

"Twins, I take it?" she assumed, the smile still in place. "Since you need two car seats, I mean."

I was glad that she added the last part.

"Yeah."

"Well, we have a few twin strollers." She gestured to where they were standing. "They're all fine, very popular."

I spotted the one I had found on the internet and pointed to it.

"I'd like that one."

"Alright." The woman took a phone from her pocket and called someone. "Could you bring a Zooper Tango up, please… Hang on." She turned to me. "Color?"

I had considered black; nice and neutral. But also a little boring. I liked Lily's old stroller, and red wasn't too girly.

"Red," I told her, and she repeated it into the phone before hanging up.

"OK, car seats," she said, leading us over to that part of the store. "The Sunshine Kids seats are all designed to fit three in the back of pretty much any car." She pointed to three car seats with different patterns. "These are the available designs."

I immediately fell in love with the pink one with flowers on it. It was the kind of car seat I wished I'd been able to get for Lily when she was a baby. But pink…

"What's your return policy?" I asked fingering the pink car seat.

"As long as it's unused, in its original packaging and still has the sales slip, we offer money back within two months and you can exchange it for something else in the store or get store credit if it's returned within three."

I did the mental math. The beginning of July, that should work.

"You don't know the sex?" the clerk assumed.

"We know one's a boy, but the other one didn't feel like sharing," I replied.

"Well, when's your due date?"

"The doctor said around the end of June, beginning of July."

"OK, here's what I can do. If you want to get the pink one, I can put on the receipt that you can exchange it for another car seat as late as the end of July, if it's necessary. Would that work?"

"That would be great," I said with a smile. "And I'll take one grey, too, with the circle pattern."

"Great. You just look around a little, see if there's anything else you need right now, and I'll have your things ready at the register in a few minutes."

We strolled around the store for a little while, but didn't find anything else. The clerk helped us out to the car with the boxes, and soon we were on our way back home.

"You're hoping the surprise will turn out to be a girl then?" Alice wondered.

"Not hoping, more of a hunch," I replied. "I mean, with Lily, I was positive she was a girl. This time, I can't decide what I think, and I thought that might be because there's one of each."

Alice laughed. "Your logic is infallible."

**Edward**

I heard Alice pull up outside the house a little before three in the afternoon, and went outside to see if they needed any help. Turned out that they did.

"I know I said get what you want, but you could have left something for the other shoppers," I teased when I saw the bags of clothes in the backseat. "Did they close when you left?"

"Funny," Bella replied, sticking her tongue out at me.

"Am I going to get an angry phone call from American Express?"

"Your card doesn't have a limit," she pointed out dryly, popping the trunk open.

"You do have a point," I admitted, going over to help her with whatever was in the trunk. "This is going to take a few trips inside."

"I've got the bags, and then I'm off," Alice said from behind me. "I'm leaving the heavy lifting to you."

I sighed and got one of the smaller boxes out of the trunk. Before I got inside, Alice had swept past me to her car and waved goodbye before taking off.

"Where do we want this?" I asked Bella as I put the box down just inside the front door.

"Basement, I think," she replied. "They'll be less in the way there."

"Alright." I brought the first box, followed by the two others, into the basement and then went back upstairs. "You don't want to open them?"

"We can't," she told me from the couch in the living room. Alice had put the bags of clothes in there, and Lily was excitedly looking through them. "We might have to return one of the car seats, and it has to still be in the box."

"Why would we have to return it?" I wondered, sitting down in one of the armchairs. Bella gave me a sheepish look.

"Well, I sort of got one that's pink with flowers," she admitted. "And since I'm not very keen on keeping that if they both turn out to be boys – and I don't think you are either – the nice woman at the store said that we could exchange it for another one. But we can't open it."

"Aha." I should have known that she wouldn't be able to completely stay away from everything pink. "Any pink elements in there?" I peeked into one of the bags with clothes.

"Nope, I managed to control myself."

I laughed.

"Look at this, dad, it's soooo cute," Lily said, holding up a brown onesie with the words 'Baby brother' on it.

"It is," I agreed.

"They had one for girls, too," Bella said. "I got two of these, just in case, and if it turns out that hide-and-seek in here is a girl, we can get two of those."

"Was that a name suggestion?" I chuckled. "She might get teased in school."

Bella just glared at me.

xxxxx

On April 15th, Doctor Jamieson told us that it was time to start coming in once a week.

"But everything's fine, right?" Bella asked nervously.

"Everything's great," the doctor replied. "They're growing just like they should, you're doing great. It's just the procedure with twins, I told you that. We need to keep a closer eye on them than we would if this was a regular pregnancy. Just a precaution."

I was actually glad that she would be keeping a closer eye on the babies and Bella. I didn't want anything to go wrong, and better safe than sorry.

"So talk to Julie, and she'll put you down for a weekly appointment. How're things going at work, by the way?" she asked Bella. "Have you decided when you're going to start your maternity leave?"

"Well, I definitely wouldn't mind staying home all day," Bella replied. "But I'm afraid that I'll spend all day in bed or on the couch if I do. At least now I get out of the house every day."

"Like I told you a couple of months ago, it is recommended to get as much rest as possible in the third trimester, to try to minimize the risk of going into premature labor," the doctor pointed out. "I understand if you want to keep working as long as possible, but it will be best if you stay home from the end of this month."

"Of course," Bella quickly agreed. "If it's what's best for them, sure."

"OK, I'll see you next week," Doctor Wallace said in parting, and we left.

"I had been hoping to be able to work a little longer," Bella said when we were on our way home.

"You heard what she said," I replied. "If it's to avoid them being born too early, it's worth it, right?"

"Of course it is," she agreed. "Besides, it'll be nice with some time to ourselves before I'm constantly attached to a kid."

"Exactly," I encouraged.

"I'll talk to Michelle tomorrow."

May brought warmer weather with it, and Bella started carrying a portable, violently pink, plastic fan with her wherever she went. She wasn't working anymore, which meant that we spent all day together. I was still working on the music for Paul's movie, but we managed to get some quality time together. And I was able to keep an eye on her, which was a plus. She tended to downplay everything, and now I could make sure for myself that there was nothing going on that shouldn't be going on. She was uncomfortable, of course, but that was to be expected. But Doctor Wallace was still pleased with the way the pregnancy was coming along and even said that this was one of the most straight forward twin pregnancies she had ever had to deal with. No complications whatsoever.

"Just my luck," Bella complained one evening. We were watching TV in the living room and both the French windows and the front door were open in an attempt to create a draft, but there was not so much as a breeze in the room. "Hottest May in the history of Seattle, and I'm the size of a small whale."

I wiped some sweat off her neck and swallowed the objection. There was no point in arguing with her, she still wouldn't believe me. "You want to go take a shower?" I wondered instead.

"I've already showered three times today," she snapped. Then she sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm being mean, I know."

"I understand," I assured her.

"I know you do." She gave me a tired smile. "But I am going to go take a shower, and then I'm going to bed to try to sleep. I barely got any sleep last night. It's like they've started sleeping in shifts, or something. Someone's always moving around."

"Hey, guys." I rubbed the spot where one of the babies had just kicked. You could actually _see_ them move now, it was a little weird. "Give it a break, OK? Mommy needs to get some sleep."

Bella laughed.

"Thanks. Mind giving me a hand getting up?"

I got up and pulled her up from the couch.

"I'll be up in a little while," I told her.

"OK." She reached up to get a kiss and I happily obliged.

When I quietly opened the door to our bedroom half an hour later, she was sound asleep on her side of the bed. I smiled. At least she would get some rest tonight.

xxxxx

As Lily's birthday drew nearer, I tried to convince Bella that there was no need to have a party. She had enough to deal with as it was.

"But it's her birthday," she objected. "We have to have a party."

"Let Alice have it at their place," I suggested. "You know she loves any excuse to throw a party."

"But then I would have to get out of the house, squeeze into the car, and quite possibly take the stairs to their apartment," she countered. "I think their elevator will give in if I get into it."

"And that's not an exaggeration at all," I replied dryly. She might have put on thirty pounds in the past seven months, but she was pregnant, for Christ's sake. With twins.

She ignored me.

"We'll have a party for her here," she insisted. "Don't worry, I plan to let you take care of everything while I order you around from the couch."

"You'd better."

I was amazed that she actually kept her word. She didn't lift a finger when Lily and I decorated the living room for the party, or insist on helping out with the mini-pizzas we would be serving to the kids. It said more about how much moving tired her out than it did about her involvement in the actual party planning. She directed us like a general from the couch.

The party went by smoothly, much thanks to Donna and Alice, who decided to help out. Lily was ecstatic over all the presents she got from her friends and was hyper all evening after the party was over.

On the Sunday after Lily's birthday, we had the family over. Carlisle, Esme, Charlie and Sue came down from Forks for the day. We stayed indoors, with the air conditioning working hard, since it was almost eighty degrees outside.

Emmett and Rosalie were the last to arrive, as always. Noah came running into the living room first, climbing into Carlisle's lap.

"Sorry, this young man decided to throw a fit just when we were leaving," Rose apologized. She had Ellie, now four months old, in her arms. Esme immediately reached out for her granddaughter and Rosalie handed her over.

"Yeah, sorry we're late," Emmett repeated, slumping down in one of the armchairs. He gave Bella a scrutinizing look. "Whoa."

"Be nice," Rosalie hissed at him.

"Are you sure there's just two in there?" he continued, pretending he hadn't heard her.

"Hilarious, Emmett," Bella replied with a grimace.

"No, I'm serious. I mean, there could be a third one, hiding out behind the other two, right?"

I slapped him over the head at the same time as Bella threw a pillow at him.

"Ow!" He glared at me. "Fine, sorry. I was just kidding."

He was the only one who seemed to think it was funny.

"He's right, though," Bella noted later, when we were alone. "I'm huge."

"Doctor Wallace said that you're right where you should be," I pointed out, mostly as a reflex. I knew it didn't matter what I or the doctor said, she still felt the way she felt.

"I know." She sighed. "I just don't see how they can stay in there for another month. There's no room!"

But, obviously – though how I didn't know – there was. The human body is nothing if not adaptable.

I managed to convince Bella that I didn't want any fuss on my birthday. What I really wanted was for her to relax and not worry about silly things like birthdays and parties. We just went out to dinner with the family.

Renée arrived on June 15th. I would never admit it to anyone but myself, but it was nice to get a little help from her. I didn't have to do everything anymore. Not that I minded – I would do anything to take as much pressure off Bella as possible – but I was exhausted, too. And I felt guilty for feeling exhausted, because Bella had so much more reason to be. But I was only human.

The day after Renée got here, I suggested to Bella that we might skip – or at least postpone – the baby shower. I saw how tired she was all the time, and having a bunch of people over wouldn't exactly help her relax. I fully expected her to at least argue, if not refuse, but to my surprise, she just sighed.

"That's probably a good idea," she agreed.

"Really?" I asked, a little shocked. "You're not going to insist that you're up for it?"

"I'm not up for it. Besides, I want to be able to enjoy having our family and friends here, and all the stuff I know they've gotten us, and right now I just don't have the energy to do that. So maybe we should have it after these two decide to grace us with their presence."

Grateful, I talked to Renée who assured me that she would speak to my mother and sister and take care of everything.

On the 19th, we had an appointment with Doctor Wallace.

"You made it to 36 weeks," she noted with a smile when we entered her office.

"Sure did," Bella replied, letting out a big sigh. "That means that the underdeveloped lungs thing isn't as big of a risk now, right?"

"That's right," the doctor confirmed. "Now, let me take a look at you and then we can talk."

The examination took longer than usual, Doctor Wallace poking and prodding Bella's stomach for more than five minutes. When we sat down at her desk, she explained.

"Baby A is facing down, so there's no problem there. But Baby B is still facing up, and if it doesn't turn around before you go into labor, I don't want to risk a breech delivery," she told Bella. "It could very well go fine, but there could also be complications. Our best option is to try to turn the baby."

"So how would you do that?" I wondered. Was there even enough room in there _to_ turn it?

"It could still happen on its own," the doctor replied. "Babies have been known to turn only days before delivery. But if it's still facing this way next week, I'll try to turn it. There are a few things you can do at home, though."

"Like what?" Bella asked.

"Well, a lot of people say that visualization helps." She smiled at the disbelieving looks on our faces and took a brochure from a drawer in her desk. "I know, it sounds odd, but it's worth a try. There are other things you can do as well, but you'll have to decide for yourself if you're up for that."

Bella took the brochure and looked at it.

"I think we'll try the visualization thing first," she said after a moment. I looked at the brochure and saw the suggestion that she must have seen. Headstand. Right.

"So, you don't feel like giving the headstand thing a go?" I asked dryly when we were in the car.

"Right, because that would end so well," she replied. "I can't stand on my head normally."

I laughed.

"I wonder if the person who came up with that one has ever actually seen a pregnant woman," I noted.

"Very doubtful."

Luckily, it turned out that we didn't have to go to such extremes.

That night, we were watching TV. Bella was lying on the couch, her feet in my lap, when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.

"Whoa," Bella said, frowning.

"What is it?" Renée asked from one of the armchairs.

"I… think one of them just turned around," Bella replied. "I just hope it was the right one, so they're not both facing the wrong way now."

The following Wednesday, Doctor Wallace confirmed that it had indeed been the right baby that turned around.

"So we're ready to go," she concluded. "Any time you feel like going into labor, feel free."

Bella laughed at that.

"I'll get right on that." She sighed. "I only wish it was that simple."

"I know." Doctor Wallace nodded. "But I am hoping that it will start on its own. If not, we'll probably induce you at the end of next week. We don't want to risk any unnecessary complications."

"So, a week and a half left, tops?" Bella concluded, sounding both eager and a little nervous. I knew how she felt.

"Yup." Doctor Wallace smiled. "Eager for it to be over, I suppose?"

"Oh, no, not at all." Bella rolled her eyes.

xxxxx

"So, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel?" I joked when we were in bed later that night.

"Yes, finally," Bella replied, piling a few pillows behind her and leaning back. She was sleeping almost sitting up, it was the only way she was comfortable enough to fall asleep. "I just hope we won't have to do the induction thing."

"Want me to have a serious talk with them?" I asked, nodding at her stomach.

"Go ahead." She laughed.

"OK, guys, listen to me," I started. "Time to get out of there. I mean, let's face it, you can't stay in there forever. Might as well get it over with."

"Quite the motivational speaker, aren't you?" Bella noted, suppressing another laugh.

"I think I got my point across."

"We'll see. Renée tried that last time, you know. Didn't help one bit."

**Bella **

When Doctor Wallace mentioned the word 'induction', I started fearing a repeat of last time. At least I would only have a week and a half left, worst case scenario. Not three more weeks until I came to full term and then another two weeks.

So I didn't put much stock in Edward telling the twins that it was 'time to get out'. I fully expected them to stay put until Doctor Wallace forced them to come out.

But it was a relief that they were both facing the right way. I knew the birth wouldn't be a walk in the park – one was quite enough, thank you very much – but the idea of a c-section scared me a little. Nature's way felt safer.

I woke up the next morning, June 27th, with back ache. But that wasn't really anything unusual. My back had pretty much been aching around the clock lately. I'd had some Braxton-Hicks contractions in the past few weeks, as well. As I took a shower to cool off – it wasn't as hot outside as it had been during most of May, but I was still dripping with sweat when I woke up in the mornings – I felt another one.

I toweled off and pulled on a pair of sweat pants – the only ones that still fit – and a t-shirt and waddled downstairs. Edward was making breakfast in the kitchen, and Lily and Renée were in the living room, watching TV.

"Morning," Edward greeted me when I came into the kitchen. "Sleep well?"

"As well as can be expected, I guess." I shrugged. The babies weren't moving around as much anymore – no more room left to move – but it was extremely difficult to find a comfortable position.

"It'll be over soon," he replied, almost automatically. It had been his answer to most of my complaints lately. And he was right.

"I know." I leaned against the counter next to him and stole a pancake from the plate by the stove.

"Hungry?" Edward noted in an amused voice.

I chose not to answer that.

I started nibbling on the pancake, and a moment later, I felt a sort of 'pop'. I frowned and looked down just as there was a gush of water. Edward froze next to me, half-way reaching out to open a cupboard.

"Was that…"


	25. 25 Welcome

**AN: Here we go, time to have some babies! Hope you like the chapter, let me know…**

**Disclaimer: Just borrowing. I promise I'll give them back when I'm done.**

**25 – Welcome**

**Bella **

We both stood just staring at each other for what felt like hours. I could hear the sound from the TV coming from the living room, every now and then interrupted by Lily's or Renée's voice, but neither of us paid any attention to it.

"I think so," I finally concluded. A moment later, there was a sharp, familiar pain in my lower back. "Oh yeah, definitely." I held on to the counter as I breathed through the contraction.

"But aren't the contractions supposed to start before the water breaks?" Edward rambled. "I mean, that's the way it's supposed to be, right? Not…"

"I don't think they care," I snapped as the pain ceased.

"You OK?" he asked, noticing my hand clenched around the countertop just as it relaxed.

"Contraction," I explained. "Pretty bad one, too."

"What's going on?" Renée asked, coming into the kitchen.

"Party's getting started," I told her, glancing down at my now soaked pants. "Crap, those were the only ones that still fit!"

"Your water broke?" she asked incredulously, staring at me like I had just told her aliens were invading the earth.

"Yup. Seems like we're not going with the normal version this time around."

"OK." Renée shook her head, trying to get a grasp on the situation. "Go on upstairs and see if you can find something else to put on, I'll clean up in here."

She disappeared into the hallway, probably in the direction of the closet where we kept the cleaning supplies.

"Seems like you're little encouragement last night worked," I noted, remembering Edward's 'speech'.

"Huh. I guess so." Edward gave me a half-smile. "You need a hand?"

I nodded.

"Might be a good idea."

I let him lead me up the stairs and into our bedroom, where I pulled off the wet clothes and put on a dry pair of underwear while Edward dug around in the closet for pants that might possibly fit.

"Best I can do," he said, offering me the pair that had fit most recently. I pulled them on, not even bothering to try to get them over my stomach. I pulled the t-shirt down on top of the pants, as far down as it would go, and surveyed myself in the mirror. I wouldn't win any fashion competitions, but it would do for now.

"Bring the bag downstairs," I suggested, nodding at the bag we had packed several weeks ago for when this happened. "I've got a feeling this isn't going to take much longer."

"OK." He grabbed the bag and we left the room, heading back downstairs. On the last step, I felt the pain return, and grabbed his free hand with one of mine, the other one closing around the banister.

"Another one," I moaned through gritted teeth, squeezing my eyes shut. I heard him put the bag down and then he pried my fingers from the banister, taking my other hand in his, too.

"Just breathe," he encouraged me. "Deep breaths. Remember the technique they taught us in class."

"I. Am. Breathing."

"Sorry."

I focused on his hands in mine and breathing in and out. The pain slowly started to subside.

"What's wrong, mom?" Lily's small voice came from the doorway to the living room, forcing me back to my surroundings. I took one last breath and then opened my eyes to find her looking at me, a frightened expression on her face.

"I'm fine, sweetie," I said, trying to both look and sound convincing. "It's just that the babies are coming."

"Really?" Her face lit up, but then she frowned again. "Does it hurt a lot?"

She still hadn't asked about the 'mechanics' of where babies came from, so I could only assume that one of her friends had a fairly good idea of how it worked.

"No, it's OK." I smiled at her, hoping that she wouldn't catch my lie.

"I think we should call Doctor Wallace," Edward said, a hint of urgency in his voice. "I don't think those were more than three or four minutes apart."

I nodded. I couldn't agree more.

"Come on." He pulled me along into the kitchen and I sat down on a chair. Renée had cleaned up the floor and now she sat down opposite me. Lily pulled the chair next to mine closer to me and sat down, taking my hand.

"You can hold my hand if it hurts, mom," she told me seriously.

"Thanks, baby." I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

I saw Edward take the cordless phone from the counter and disappear into the living room. A moment later, I heard his subdued voice. He probably didn't want Lily to hear him talking to Doctor Wallace, didn't want to frighten her any more than was absolutely necessary.

"How're you feeling, sweetheart?" Renée asked, reaching over the table for my free hand. I squeezed hers gratefully.

"OK." I smiled again, not wanting to worry Lily. "Glad to finally get the show on the road." I was, really. I was incredibly relieved that it finally got started, and without any help from Doctor Wallace. But right now, it was hard to focus on that relief.

"Doesn't seem like there'll be much waiting around this time, does it?" Renée noted. "Not like with this one." She ruffled Lily's hair.

"I took a long time to come out?" she asked.

"Not longer than usual," I told her. "But these two seem to be in a hurry." As I said the words, another contraction started. I closed my eyes, tried to breathe deeply and avoid breaking Lily's hand. I squeezed Renée's tightly instead.

"It's OK, mom," Lily said, patting my back.

I heard Edward come back into the room and felt him gently pry Lily's fingers from mine and take my hand in both of his. I gratefully gripped his hand and leaned my forehead against his. He breathed with me until the pain ended.

"Over?" he asked when I opened my eyes again, and I nodded.

"What did she say?" I took a deep breath and leaned against the back of the chair.

"She said to come in, she's meeting us at the hospital." He stood up and pulled me up from the chair.

"Can I come with you?" Lily asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry, princess, you're going to have to wait here with grandma," Edward told her.

We started making our way to the front door, Renée and a very disappointed looking Lily following behind us.

"Call us as soon as everything's over, OK?" Renée instructed sternly.

"Sure," Edward agreed. "Could you call everyone, let them know?"

"Of course," she assured him. "Go."

He opened the door and led me across the lawn to the driveway, where he helped me into the passenger seat of the Volvo.

"You good?" he asked when he had fastened the seatbelt.

"Yeah." I nodded.

He closed the door and I heard him put the bag in the backseat before he got into the driver's seat. The engine started with a roar and he pulled out of the driveway.

I could tell that he was trying very hard not to drive too fast. It was a good thing the hospital was very close; for both him and me. Halfway to the hospital, I felt another stab of pain and bit my lip. It had been a while since the last time I did this, but I didn't remember the contractions being this painful. That couldn't be a good sign for what was about to come.

Soon, we were at the hospital, and Edward helped me out of the car. We walked through the revolving doors and stopped by the front desk.

"Hello, how may I..." The young man behind the desk cut himself off when he looked up and spotted me. "I'll just call for a nurse to bring you up to the delivery," he concluded, picking up a phone from the desk. He got a form from somewhere and handed it to Edward. "Fill this out while you wait, please."

Edward took the piece of paper and then led me over to a few chairs by a low table. He quickly filled out the form and gave it back to the man behind the desk just as a female nurse came through a set of doors, pushing a wheelchair.

We rode up in an elevator and then I was wheeled down a long corridor to a room at the very end. I changed into a hospital robe and the nurse helped me into the bed before she left, saying that Doctor Wallace was on the way.

I leaned back against the pillows and looked over at Edward, who had sat down in a chair next to the bed. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bed, and took my hand in his.

"You ready for this?" I asked. Not that he actually had any choice. We were way past the point of no return.

"I'm not the one who actually has to do anything," he pointed out, squeezing my hand a little tighter.

"I was actually referring to what comes after," I clarified. "This will all be over soon, but then we'll be stuck with two screaming kids who will need twenty-four hour attention."

He smiled at me. "Can't wait."

"I don't think you'll have to for very long," I replied, feeling another contraction on the way. I squeezed his hand with my left one and the metal rail with the other. I felt him stroke my hair with his free hand, and knew he was feeling completely helpless. But I couldn't find the strength to tell him I was fine.

"Getting worse?" he wondered when I relaxed.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I don't know if I've just repressed it, but I don't remember the contractions being this painful last time."

"Doctor Wallace will be here soon, she'll get you something for the pain," he assured me.

As if she had heard him, Doctor Wallace came through the door at that moment, followed by a nurse.

"Well, well," she said with a smile. "Finally some action, huh?"

I returned the smile weakly.

"You're about ready for that epidural, aren't you?" she concluded.

"More than ready," I replied with relief. "Is it possible that the contractions are much more painful this time than when Lily was born? Or is my mind just good at suppressing painful memories?"

"It's very possible that it's more painful this time," she told me. "Every birth is different, you can't make assumptions from previous experience."

"Great." That sounded just fabulous.

"Alright, I'll just check out what's going on, and then I'll get the anesthesiologist in here to give you that epidural." She went to the foot of the bed. "Could you move down a little?"

I scooted down on the bed and then turned my head to the side, keeping eye contact with Edward while she did the examination.

"Please tell me it'll be quick," I pleaded when she was finished.

"Can't really promise anything, you know that," she told me with an apologetic smile. "But you're at five centimeters, so that's good. Are you sure you didn't feel any contractions before the water broke?"

"No." I shook my head. "I mean, I had some Braxton-Hicks this morning… or at least that's what I thought it was. And my back's been aching pretty much non-stop lately, so I didn't really think about that, but I don't know…"

"Well, you seem to have fast-forwarded through the first stage," she noted. "Just the rest left."

"Right." The rest.

"As far as I can tell, they're both still facing the right way, so I don't think a regular birth should be a problem," she continued. "Of course, we'll keep a close eye on both you and the babies, and if there are any complications, we'll discuss what to do."

"OK." I nodded. I had been expecting that, but hearing her say the words still caused a chill to run down my spine.

She and the nurse hooked me up to all the different monitors, and then she turned to give me a smile again.

"Everything looks good, the babies' heart beats are nice and strong. I'll be back to check on you in a little while, OK?" she said. "And you'll get the epidural as soon as the anesthesiologist is available."

"Thanks."

As she left the room, I moved back up the bed and leaned against the pillows again. It was going to be a long day.

**Edward**

I felt completely helpless, sitting next to the bed while Bella was in so much pain. I could tell that she was trying not to let on how much the contractions hurt, but she wasn't fooling me. Every time, she squeezed her eyes shut, grit her teeth together and grabbed my hands so hard it felt like she stopped the blood flow. I tried to do what I could; breathe with her like they had taught us in the birthing class, getting a wet paper towel to wipe her forehead. But I couldn't do much.

Forty-five minutes and eleven contractions after Doctor Wallace had left the room, another woman entered. She was a little younger, maybe in her early forties.

"Anyone in here order an epidural?" she asked cheerfully. I gave her an evil glare, not understanding how she could be joking in a situation like this, but Bella seemed to appreciate the light mood.

"Over here," she replied. "A double, if that's possible."

The woman laughed.

"Sorry, no can do." She came over to the bed and stopped on the other side from where I was sitting. "I'm Doctor Lowell, by the way. Can you feel if there's a contraction on the way? You need to stay still while I do this, so it's best to get it done between contractions."

"I know," Bella replied, turning onto her side so she was facing me. "And no, no contraction on the way right now. Just had one about a minute ago, so it should be fine."

"OK, good. I'm going to administer a local anesthetic first." I felt Bella squeeze my hand, knowing that she was trying very hard not to picture the needle the doctor was using. "And now I'm going to put the needle in. Try to stay still."

A moment later, she stepped away from the bed.

"There we go. That should kick in pretty soon," she said with a smile, glancing at her watch. "Doctor Wallace should be back in twenty minutes or so, just push the button if you need anything before that."

"Feeling any better?" I asked when she had left the room.

"Doesn't work quite that fast," Bella replied with a forced smile.

If anything, the contractions seemed to become more painful, and, to top it off, they lasted longer with less time in between. But, after a while, it seemed like the epidural did start working. I noticed it first because Bella didn't squeeze my hand quite as hard during a contraction, and then I heard her breathing start coming a little easier, and her entire body relaxed a little.

"Much better," she noted about twenty minutes after the anesthesiologist had left.

"It doesn't hurt as much anymore?" I asked, hearing the relief in my own voice.

"More of a feeling of pressure than pain," she explained. "It's hard to describe."

I was just relieved that she wasn't in so much pain anymore. It had been heartbreaking to watch, especially since I knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do.

A few minutes later, Doctor Wallace came into the room again.

"How are we doing? The epidural kick in yet?" she wondered.

"Yes, thank God," Bella replied with a sigh.

"Good, good." She checked the monitors they had hooked Bella up to. "And everything looks fine here, they don't seem to be bothered by this at all, so that's good."

I let out another sigh of relief. That was the thing I had started worrying about as soon as I had been able to stop worrying about Bella's pain; how where the babies doing? Like Doctor Wallace had told us months ago, their heartbeats could be affected by the labor, but apparently that wasn't happening.

"You didn't have any problem with the labor slowing the last time you had an epidural, right?" the doctor asked, focusing on Bella.

"No, things moved along pretty quickly anyway," she replied. "I think I got from four to ten in about three hours."

"Two centimeters an hour then," Doctor Wallace concluded, nodding. "Could you turn onto your back and move down a little for me?" Bella did as she said.

"How's it looking?" Bella asked when she was done.

"Like this'll be a lot faster than we had thought," the doctor replied with a smile. "You're at seven centimeters, so that's three centimeter in a little more than an hour. If you keep this up, it'll only be an hour or so before it's time to start pushing."

"Great." Bella let out a sigh of relief, and so did I. She moved up a little on the bed again and turned back onto her side.

"You're more comfortable like that?" Doctor Wallace asked.

"Yeah." Bella nodded.

"OK then. Now, normally, I'd say that I'll be back in an hour, but with things going this quickly, we'd better make it half an hour."

"Maybe we'll be out of here before lunch," Bella joked.

I looked at the clock on the wall. It was ten thirty now, we'd been here for an hour and a half. Weren't these things supposed to take much longer? Not that I was complaining.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you were." Doctor Wallace laughed a little. "As long as everything keeps going this well, I'm sure we'll be able to move you into an OR in an hour or so."

"OR?" I asked nervously and saw an anxious look on Bella's face.

"Just normal procedure with twins," the doctor assured us. "In case something happens, we'll be right there and won't need to worry about moving you. But nothing will go wrong."

"OK." Bella nodded, but looked far from convinced. Neither was I, to be perfectly honest.

"Besides, after pushing one of them out, you might be begging me to get number two out."

"Probably," Bella agreed, seeming to relax a little. "But don't listen to me. I don't want a c-section unless it's absolutely necessary, OK?"

"Sure, that's the plan." Doctor Wallace nodded. "And don't worry, I've done this before. I know better than to listen to anything you say when you're right in the middle of it. I'll be back soon."

As she left the room, I pondered the brave and strong woman that was my wife. She didn't even think about taking the easy way out, she was dead set on doing this the way she wanted to. I wished I was as strong.

"OK, babies, just keep cooperating and we'll be out of her soon," she now said, patting her stomach.

"You sticking with the persuasion strategy?" I asked, a little amused.

"Well, yesterday I wouldn't have believed it, but it did actually work," she replied. "But maybe that's just because it was you."

"Want me to try again?"

"Couldn't hurt."

I put my hand next to hers on her stomach and leaned a little closer.

"OK guys, got one more favor to ask of you and then I'm done, OK? Just try to work with mommy, OK? She needs your help today. Just go with whatever happens, move towards the light and all that. And no messing around, you hear me! We don't want any complications, OK?"

Bella was laughing a little when I finished talking, and the sound made my entire body a little warmer.

"Who wouldn't listen to that?" she asked – rhetorically, I assumed.

"Just glad if I can help a little," I replied. "Not much I can do."

"Being here helps," she told me. "Just having you be a part of this means everything. Renée was supportive and all when Lily was born, but it wasn't the same."

"I can't tell you how glad I am to be a part of this," I said with a sigh. "I know it won't make up for missing so much with Lily, but at least we'll get another chance to do it all together."

She smiled at that, but didn't answer. I saw that she was breathing deeply and the hand that was resting against her stomach curled into a fist.

"Is the epidural wearing off?" I asked nervously. It wasn't supposed to work like that, right?

"No, no, just a lot of pressure," she assured me. "It feels like I want to push, but I can't do that yet, so just have to breathe through it."

I held her hand and tried to help her breathe, but couldn't do much more. Doctor Wallace came back soon and did another exam, but said that it wasn't time to move just yet. But after the next exam, half an hour later, she told the nurse accompanying her to get another bed.

"Almost ten now, time to go," she announced. "You hanging in there?"

"I just really want to push now," Bella told her.

"I know, but you can't, not yet."

Bella only nodded and then focused on her breathing again. The contractions were almost constant now, with only a small window of maybe thirty seconds between them.

The nurse came back into the room, bringing a colleague with her. They helped Bella move to the new bed and then rolled her out of the room and down the hallway. We passed a waiting room, and I spotted Alice and Jasper on two of the plastic chairs. I waved at them in what I hoped was an assuring way and then we headed down another corridor. Soon, we were in a new room, surrounded by people. I didn't particularly like the look of all the surgical instruments and other things that I didn't even know what they were for around the room, but tried to tell myself that it was just precaution, and that it was good that they were prepared. Just in case.

Bella was moved to a new bed again and hooked up to some more machines. I didn't even want to start thinking about what they all were for. I stood beside her, not letting go of her hand, and tried very hard not to panic. Bella needed me to stay calm. Everything would be fine.

Time seemed to start moving faster, and before I knew it, Doctor Wallace told Bella that there was a contraction on the way and to push when it started.

"Do you want to try to push on your side?" the doctor asked, and Bella nodded. "OK, grab your leg and go."

I held onto Bella's free hand as she squeezed mine, gritting her teeth together. Not sure what else to do, I tried to encourage her through contraction after contraction.

"You're doing great." I honestly had no idea how she was doing, but it seemed like the right thing to say. "Just a little more."

At the moment, it almost seemed like Bella was more in control than I was. With every contraction, she took a deep breath, squeezed my hand and pushed as hard as she could. Her entire face scrunched up with the effort, but she didn't let any of the pain she must be feeling show. So it caught me off guard and almost made me jump when she suddenly cried out in pain.

"What's wrong?" I asked nervously, desperately looking around at the doctor.

"The head's crowning, that's why it hurts," the doctor said, more to Bella than to me.

"Oh God," Bella moaned, grabbing my hand harder.

"Just push through the pain," Doctor Wallace instructed.

"I'm trying."

"A little more… a little more… take a breath and go again… and one more time… and again…"

I could see Bella's energy waning, and was about to ask Doctor Wallace what was going on.

"OK, stop pushing, the head's out. I need to check if the cord's wrapped around the neck."

Bella's hand closed like a vice around mine, and her breathing became shallow and rapid.

"Can I push yet?" she asked desperately after a moment. "I really have to…"

"Wait… OK, now you can push."

She did, her hand squeezing mine, her teeth grinding together. And then I could both see and feel her relax. Her hand let go of mine and she let out a deep breath.

"It's a boy," the doctor announced, and a rush of warmth flooded through me.

"Is he OK?" Bella asked breathlessly. Just then, a piercing cry filled the room.

"He's just fine," Doctor Wallace assured us. She put two clamps on the cord and handed me an odd looking pair of scissors. "Go on, dad."

I cut between the two clamps, and she quickly handed the baby off to one of the nurses.

"Where are they taking him?" Bella wondered anxiously.

"Just over there," Doctor Wallace replied, pointing to one of the corners of the room, where an incubator was set up. "We need to get ready for number two."

"I can't," Bella objected weakly, leaning back on the bed. "Just get it out, please."

"I thought you didn't want that," the doctor pointed out.

"I've changed my mind. I can't."

I was torn between her distress and the crying baby in the corner of the room. But he was well taken care of; the nurses would make sure he was fine. I again took Bella's hand in mine and she looked up at me, her eyes tired.

"You can do this," I told her, wiping some hair from her face. "It'll be over really soon, I promise."

Somehow, she found encouragement in my words, because she nodded, a determined look appearing on her face.

"OK, here we go," Doctor Wallace said. "Push."

Bella did, and it only took five pushes before another cry joined the first.

"It's a girl," Doctor Wallace declared a moment later.

"A girl?" I looked up and saw the baby she was holding up.

"One of each," she said with a smile.

I could only stare as she cut the chord and then handed the baby to another nurse.

"Go with them, make sure they're OK," Bella ordered.

"Are you sure?" I did want to go with them, but I also wanted to stay and make sure Bella was OK.

"Go, I'm fine."

"I've got everything under control," Doctor Wallace assured me.

"OK." I leaned down and gave Bella a soft kiss. "I love you."

She just smiled in return.

And then my feet carried me, as if of their own accord, towards the sounds of my son and daughter crying.

xxxxx

Soon, we were moved to another room. The babies had been checked out and declared perfectly fine. They didn't need any help breathing at all, and Doctor Wallace told us that we would probably be able to take them home in a day or two.

"Go let Alice and Jasper know," Bella told me as soon as we had gotten settled in the new room. She had the baby girl, wrapped in pink blanket, in her arms and shifted her a little so I could put our son in her other arm.

"OK." I reluctantly helped her arrange the babies before giving her a kiss on the forehead and leaving the room.

Alice and Jasper had been joined by Emmett and Rosalie when I got into the waiting room.

"How did it go?" Alice asked as soon as she spotted me, jumping to her feat and wringing her hands nervously.

"It went just fine, everyone's great," I told them with a big smile.

"So?" Rosalie said expectantly.

"One boy born at 12.35, nineteen and a half inches and six pounds seven ounces, and one girl, born at 12.51, nineteen inches and six pounds four ounces."

"One of each," Rosalie exclaimed. "Have you picked out names yet?"

"No, not yet."

"I'm so happy for you," Alice said, giving me a hug.

"Yeah, congratulations, both of you." Jasper patted me on the back.

"Can we see them?" Emmett asked eagerly.

I hesitated.

"Just for a minute," Rosalie pleaded. "We'll leave right away."

"OK, come on." I led them down the hallway but paused before I opened the door. "Let me just check that it's OK with Bella first."

They obediently, if impatiently, waited in the hallway while I went into the room.

"There are a few people who want to say hi," I told Bella.

"Let them in," she said immediately.

"Emmett and Rose are here too," I warned her. "But they have promised to just stay for a moment."

"It's fine," she assured me, then raised her voice and called, "Come in, guys!"

The door opened at once and they piled into the room.

"Oh, look at them," Rosalie gushed with tears in her eyes. "They're perfect!"

I had to agree with her.

**Bella**

"Has anyone called Carlisle and Esme?" I asked when Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were about to leave.

"Yeah, I talked to dad before," Alice replied. "After your mom called us. I'm actually surprised they're not here yet." She checked her watch and I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost three, and I understood what she meant.

"They probably figured out that you're here," Edward suggested. "They wouldn't want to crowd us."

"You're probably right," Alice agreed. She looked down at the little girl in her arms. "I suppose I have to give this one back before leaving? I think mommy and daddy might notice if I try to hide you in my purse."

"Come back in a few weeks, we might let you have her," I joked.

"She's amazing," Alice told me, gently placing her in my arms.

"I know." I looked down at the sleeping baby. She had a lot of hair, the same color as mine.

Rosalie handed the other baby to Edward.

"You try to get some rest now, OK?" she told me, giving me a hug. "I've got the feeling you'll need it."

I was sure she was right about that.

"See you soon," Alice said, waving goodbye. "We'll call your mom and let her know that she can bring Lily here."

"Thanks." I smiled at her.

She must have called as soon as they left the building, because Renée peeked into the room less than five minutes later.

"Hi," she greeted with a smile, opening the door wider to reveal Lily, Charlie and Sue next to her. "I brought a few extra visitors, hope that's OK."

"Of course, come in." I held my free arm open for Lily and she climbed into the bed. "Hi, baby."

But her attention was focused on the infant in my arms.

"She's really little," she said after a moment, carefully stroking the baby's hair.

"She'll get bigger soon," Edward told her, drawing her attention to the baby he was holding.

"He's so cute," she said, leaning over the edge of the bed to get a better look.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Renée asked, coming up to the bed and giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"I'm good," I assured her. "Tired and pretty sore, but good."

"They're beautiful," Sue told me, caressing the baby's cheek with her finger.

"Yeah, good job, Bells," Charlie piped in from the other side of the bed and I laughed.

"Carlisle and Esme are in the waiting room," Renée said after a little while. "I'm sure they're eager to get a look at these two as well."

"I don't want to go yet," Lily objected. "Can't I stay?"

"Tell them to come in, too," I suggested, though the thought of six people in here at once was a little overwhelming."

"We'll get going," Sue offered. "We need to be heading back soon, anyway."

"Why don't you stay at the house?" Edward suggested. "Unless you have to get back to Forks."

Sue shot Charlie a look, and the hopeful expression on his face couldn't be mistaken.

"Sure, we'd like that," she agreed. "And we'll come by again tomorrow." She and Charlie both hugged me goodbye – Charlie pulled away quickly, but it _was_ a hug, and in front of other people – and they left.

A moment later, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Edward called, and Esme and Carlisle entered the room.

"Oh my goodness," Esme exclaimed quietly. She came over to the bed and gave me a hug. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"I'm good," I replied, hugging her back.

"And they're both doing OK?" she shifted her attention to the baby in Renée's arms.

"They're perfect," Edward assured her.

I didn't have to participate much in the conversation, so I just leaned back in the bed and watched my family.

**AN: Well, they're here! Next chapter will reveal the names. I have gotten some suggestions, but I'm still open for more, so feel free! **


	26. 26 What's in a Name?

**AN: Thanks for all the suggestions on baby names; they were great, but, of course, I can't use all of them. I have changed the boy name, though (thanks laren50) and I got a suggestion for the girl name that I had already picked out, so I went with that. I hope you like them! And thanks for all the reviews, both for the last chapter and for the ones before – this story has almost gotten as many as "Hearts in Pain" now, and I hope that this chapter will mark the one where it passes it! But I need your help! Please, please, please let me know what you think!!!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

**26 – What's in a Name?**

**Bella**

"You can go home and sleep, you know," I told Edward later that evening. Carlisle, Esme, Renée and Lily had left a few hours ago and we were alone. Angela, Ben, Jacob and Vanessa had also been here but only stayed for a little while, not wanting to tire me out. "The place is full of doctors and nurses, we'll be fine here."

"I'll be fine here, too," he countered from the chair by my bed. He was holding our daughter, while I had our baby boy in my arms. I frowned.

"We really need to talk names," I pointed out. I wasn't sure why we hadn't discussed this more before now, but after we had decided to come up with two names each, the subject hadn't been brought up again.

"You're right," he agreed, looking up at me. "So what are your suggestions?"

"I was flipping through the channels on the TV a while ago, and I stumbled across a show on Discovery Channel about Amelia Earhart," I told him. "I didn't really watch much, but the name kind of stuck with me. What do you think?"

He thought about it for a moment.

"I like it," he finally said. "I just figured you'd pick a name from Austen or something."

I laughed at his words – it was actually a little weird that I hadn't thought of that.

"I didn't even consider that. So what name did you think of?"

"I actually went with Austen." He gave me a teasing smile. "I was googling a few weeks ago, and I found a website with names from literary classics," he added.

"Which name did you pick?" I asked curiously. There were quite a few to choose from, after all.

"Well, there are a lot of Janes and Marys and Lucys." He chuckled. "But there was one I really liked."

"Which one?" I went through the characters in the books mentally and had just arrived at one that I really liked when he said…

"Emma."

I smiled; that was the name I had just thought of. I contemplated it for a moment, studying our daughter's face.

"I think it's perfect," I then told him.

"Are you sure?" he wondered. "Because I like Amelia too."

"No, I think Emma fits her better," I insisted, scrutinizing the face of the sleeping baby. "Yeah, she's definitely an Emma."

"OK," he concluded. "And boy names?"

"Nuh-uh. You go first this time."

"Well…" he started. "Again, I was searching the internet, and I found a site with names from Shakespeare…"

"Please don't say Romeo or Hamlet," I interrupted him. He shot me a glare.

"Do you honestly believe I would expose him to the ridicule of being named Romeo?" he asked dryly.

"Of course not. Sorry. Go on."

"Well, there were a few names that I thought might work, and Adrian was the one I liked best." He looked up at me to see my reaction.

I tasted the name for a moment.

"I like it," I decided.

"Your turn."

"Well... I was thinking we could go with a family name, you know. But I'm not all that into naming kids after living relatives, it just gets all confusing. But then I thought of something else…"

I hesitated, not sure how he would take my suggestion.

"Go on," he encouraged.

"I just thought, your last name before Esme and Carlisle adopted you was Masen, right? Your dad's last name?"

"It was." He nodded.

"Well, it works as a given name too, you know." I looked down at the little boy I was holding, and realized that it really suited him.

"Masen." Like I had, mentally, with Emma, he seemed to be tasting the name. "Masen Cullen…"

"Or we can go with Adrian, I really like it," I cut in.

"No, no," he replied. I looked up to see a smile on his face. "I'm glad you thought about it, I never would have. And I love it."

I let out a relieved sigh. For a moment, I had thought that he hated the idea.

"I'm glad."

"So we have names, then," he concluded. "Emma and Masen."

"Perfect."

Satisfied with the progress, I returned to the previous issue.

"Seriously though, go home and get some sleep. That chair can't be very comfortable."

"And ruin Lily's sleep-over with your parents and Sue?" he countered with a smile. "Besides, the chair won't be a problem."

"And why not?"

"I asked one of the nurses if they could bring in an extra bed earlier," he replied with a shrug. "She was very eager to help out in any way she could."

Of course she would have been. If he put his mind to it, he could probably charm a bedouin into buying sand in the Sahara. As long as it was a female bedouin.

"Should I be offended that you're off flirting with nurses only hours after I've given birth to your children?" I asked, amused.

"Flirting." He huffed.

"OK, flirting might be the wrong word," I admitted. "Dazzling, then." I remembered the first few months after we had met, and how I'd frequently had trouble thinking when he'd smiled at me. Come to think of it, that still happened more often than should be possible. Shouldn't I get used to it at some point?

"There might have been some of that involved," he confessed. "But it was only because I wanted to stay here with you overnight, so it was for a good cause. I don't usually go around dazzling strangers for no reason."

"Good to know." I laughed.

I was actually a little relieved that he insisted on staying. It wasn't like with Lily, when I'd had no idea what to do, but there were two of them. Sure, I could hold them both; if someone gave them to me. But picking them both up… that would take some practice. It was at times like these it would come in handy to have an extra set of arms.

At around nine, two young female nurses brought another bed into the room. I saw them whispering to each other while they arranged the bed by the wall, every now and then glancing over at Edward in his chair. He barely seemed to notice them; his attention shifted between Masen, in his arms, and me and Emma in the bed. One of the nurses – who seemed to be a little bolder than the other one – cleared her throat when they were leaving.

"I hope this will be OK for you, Mr. Cullen."

Edward finally looked up at them then.

"Yes, thank you," he replied with a polite smile. The two young women giggled quietly and then left. I thought I heard one of them mumble something along the line of "too bad" before the door closed behind them.

"I think they were disappointed," I noted.

Edward looked up at me, a confused expression on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think they were hoping for a little more than a polite smile and a 'thank you'."

"Don't be ridiculous." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not," I insisted, mostly because I thought it was fun to make him a little uncomfortable. He didn't like it when I pointed things like this out to him. "Did you see the way they were looking at you? They were practically undressing you with their eyes."

He just sighed and ignored me. Well, that was no fun. I gave up.

"We should probably try to get some sleep," I pointed out, the last few words coming out through a yawn. "It's been a long day, and tomorrow will be even longer."

"I guess you're right." He slowly stood up, careful not to jostle the baby in his arms, and put him down in one of the bassinets. Then he scrutinized the extra bed.

"What are you doing?" I wondered.

"Aha," he mumbled, doing something to the bed and then rolling it across the floor towards my bed. "I don't want to be all the way over there."

He put the bed next to mine and then locked it in place there. There was a small gap between the two beds, and he frowned.

"Hang on." He went to the closet in the corner of the room and rummaged through it for a moment before finding a blanket, which he bundled up and put in the gap. "Better."

He rolled the bassinet with Masen to his side of our make-shift double bed. I shifted a little so I could put Emma down in the other bassinet, which was on my side, and winced a little.

"You OK?"

I looked around to find Edward frozen in the process of removing his jeans.

"Yeah, just a little sore, you know," I assured him. "Nothing I wasn't expecting."

He pulled the jeans the rest of the way off and tossed them in the chair he had been occupying a moment ago before climbing into the bed next to me. His index finger traced the side of my face from my forehead to my chin.

"I'm sorry you're in pain," he mumbled. "You know that, if I could, I'd take it all away."

"I know." I leaned in to give him a kiss. "Anyway, it'll pass, and they're totally worth it."

"I know what you mean."

He moved a little on the bed and pulled me closer. I leaned my head against his chest and felt his arm around me. He pulled the blanket over us and I felt him place a kiss on top of my head.

"Thank you," he whispered after a moment.

"For what?"

"For giving me more than I ever hoped for."

**Edward**

We were released from the hospital on Monday morning – they wanted to keep the twins a few days extra, just in case – and Alice brought the Volvo to the hospital for us.

"Did you tell her to bring the car seats?" Bella asked as I rolled her towards the hospital's exit, accompanied by two nurses, each with a baby in their arms.

"Yes," I told her; it wasn't the first time she had asked.

We found Alice and Jasper waiting in the parking lot next to the Volvo, Alice's Mini in a space a little bit away.

"Hey guys," Alice greeted us. "Ready to head back home, to reality?"

"God yes," Bella replied, getting out of the chair and taking Emma from one of the nurses. I took Masen from the other woman, and they went back into the hospital.

"We put the car seats in the back for you," Jasper told us, opening the door to the backseat. "Well, Emmett helped us. There are just too many buckles and stuff on those things!"

I knew what he meant; you practically needed to have a Master's in technology to be able to read the instructions.

"Thanks, guys," Bella said with a grateful smile, getting Emma settled in the car seat. I walked around the car and put Masen in the other before closing the door and getting in the driver's seat. Bella got into the passenger seat next to me.

"Oh, and Lily wanted you to stop at the store and get ice cream on the way home," Alice said through the open window on Bella's side.

Bella sighed.

"We'll go there later," I concluded, but Alice put on a pleading expression.

"She really wanted ice cream."

"It'll only take a few minutes to stop by the store," Bella pointed out. "I don't want to have to worry about going back out, I just want to go home."

It was my turn to sigh.

"Fine, we'll stop on the way."

"Bye, guys, see you later," Alice said, walking towards her car. Jasper waved from the passenger side.

"Does she really need ice cream right now?" I grumbled when we left the parking lot. "Renée can go out later to get it."

"Let's just stop at the store," Bella replied. "I don't want to make her feel like we prioritize the twins over her."

So that's what it was about.

"She won't think that, not over some ice cream," I objected gently.

"I know," she admitted. "I just don't want to start out like that."

"OK, we'll stop at the store."

She gave me a quick smile.

"Thank you."

We stopped at a store a couple of blocks from home and Bella stayed in the car while I went inside. I quickly found the freezers with the ice cream and got a tub of Lily's favorite before continuing to the register. We had already stocked up on diapers and other baby stuff we would need in the next few days.

There was only one person ahead of me in line, and soon I was back in the car. Within a few minutes, we were pulling into the driveway at home. Carlisle's car was parked on the street behind Charlie's cruiser, which was to be expected since they were still here.

We got the twins and the bags out of the car and crossed the lawn to the front door. I opened it, letting Bella go inside first, and then followed her. And then…

"SURPRISE!"

I was glad that I didn't have heart problems; I had no doubt that I would've had a heart attack if that had been the case.

"You guys…" Bella said weakly next to me, her free hand pressed against her chest and her eyes wide.

"You scared the hell out of us!" I complained, closing the door behind us and going into the living room, where our family and friends were gathered.

"Sorry," Esme apologized, taking Masen's car seat from me. She put it down on the floor and picked him up out of it. "Hello sweetheart."

"We decided that we wanted to surprise you with a baby-shower-slash-welcome-home party," Alice explained, gesturing to the room.

There was a large banner against one wall with the words 'Welcome home Emma and Masen' on it, and streamers and balloons all over the room.

"You guys…" Bella repeated, and I saw that she had tears in her eyes. "This is amazing!"

It seemed like pretty much everyone we knew were in the room. Family, friends, Bella's coworkers, even a few guys from my old job that I still kept in touch with.

"It's a good thing you insisted on staying at the hospital, or we never would have been able to pull this off," Jasper noted, taking the bag that was still slung over my shoulder.

"I'm guessing the ice-cream thing was just a diversion?" Bella assumed, still frozen in the doorway to the room.

"Well, we wanted to be here before you got home," Alice explained, taking Emma from Bella. "Come on, don't just stand there, it's a party!"

Before either of us could really react, we had been pushed down on the couch and were ordered to open presents.

I had honestly thought that we had gotten every single thing for the babies that we could possibly get, but it appeared that I had been wrong. A few of the things looked like they would be better suited in a lab at NASA than in a nursery, but Bella seemed to have everything under control and was happy with the things.

"So that's why you said we might as well use Lily's old playpen," she said with a laugh when I had ripped the paper off a particularly large box from Emmett and Rosalie.

"Well, I couldn't very well say 'no, don't get that, we've already bought one for you, but it's a surprise', could I?" Rosalie countered with a smile.

"I wish you luck with that, man," Emmett muttered from behind me. "We have the same one, and it took me a whole day to put it together."

"Just because you're completely useless with a screw driver," Rosalie snapped back, but I could see a smile on her face and knew she wasn't serious… at least not completely.

"If they had just made the instructions clear, it wouldn't have been a problem," Emmett complained.

"The instructions are plenty clear," Rose said quietly to Bella. "He just didn't bother looking at them until he had gotten it all wrong, and then it took him forever to fix it."

Emmett seemed about to object, but I shot him a look and he closed his mouth without saying anything. They could go on like this for hours if nobody stopped them. Not that they didn't love each other, but they were just both so stubborn that neither would give in once they got started.

We finished opening the presents, watching as the pile of clothes on the coffee table grew larger and larger, until, finally, Bella ripped the wrapping paper off the last one and put a set of matching onesies, one pink and one blue, down on top of the pile.

"OK, cake," Alice announced, darting out of the room and returning a moment later carrying a large cake in the shape of a stork carrying two bundles in its beak.

"It looks delicious, but I am definitely not having any cake," Bella said resolutely. "It won't help much with this extra weight."

"Oh, come on," Rosalie objected. "Breastfeeding'll take the weight right off. Just look at me."

Bella contemplated her for a moment. It was true that Rosalie had lost most of the weight she had put on during the pregnancy already.

"But you only put on twenty pounds," Bella then retorted. "Not thirty-six."

"And you have two to breastfeed, so there you go."

Alice seemed to think that that settled the matter, because she handed Bella a plate with a large piece of cake on it. Bella sighed.

"I hope you've gotten used to me looking like this," she told me, taking a bite. "It might last a while."

I was pretty sure that whatever I said wouldn't turn out well; if I said that I didn't care how she looked, she'd think I thought she was fat, if I said that she'd lose the weight eventually, she'd think I thought she was fat. So I just smiled what I hoped was an encouraging and supporting smile.

"Good choice, man," Emmett mumbled next to me. "Never get into the 'do I look fat?' discussions. You're doomed from the moment you open your mouth and the next thing you know, you're sleeping on the couch."

At the moment, I agreed with him. Normally, Bella didn't care that much about her appearance, and she'd never been obsessed with her weight, like I knew Rosalie was from time to time. But she was still dealing with a ton of extra hormones that I felt were best left undisturbed at the moment.

**Bella**

By late afternoon, all our friends had left, Emmett and Rosalie had taken Noah and Ellie home and Charlie and Sue had just left to drive back to Forks. Carlisle and Esme had decided to stay a few extra days and Alice, who was sitting on the couch with Emma in her arms, didn't look like she was going anywhere in the immediate future.

"I think it's dinner time," Edward noted after glancing at his watch when Masen, who had up until now been asleep in Lily's arms, gave a shrill cry.

Already, in only the few days we'd spent in the hospital, it had become clear that the twins had very different personalities. Emma appeared to be taking after Lily; she seemed mostly content, and didn't complain without a reason. If she cried – which she so far hadn't done very much – it was because she was wet or very hungry. Masen, on the other hand, cried a lot, and not only when he was hungry or needed his diaper changed. On the plus side, he always stopped crying when someone picked him up, so maybe it was just physical contact he craved. If it was, he was getting plenty of that.

"Can I feed him?" Lily asked excitedly, looking up at me with a pleading expression on her face.

"Sure," I agreed. I was breastfeeding them, but we were also trying to bottle-feed, so I wouldn't be completely tied to them all the time. Masen didn't have a problem with the bottle, but so far Emma hadn't wanted to take it.

Edward went into the kitchen to warm up a bottle for Masen, and Alice moved so she was sitting next to me on the couch.

"I'm guessing little miss sunshine will be hungry soon, too?" she assumed, looking reluctant to give up the baby in her arms.

"Probably," I replied, nodding. "We try to feed them at the same time, so we'll only have to get up twice every night and not four times."

"Good plan," Alice acknowledged with a smile, holding Emma out to me. She stirred a little, her eyes opening, and as soon as I got her settled, she latched on and started sucking. I looked up to see Edward coming back into the room, sitting down next to Lily and helping her to get Masen to eat.

"Maybe we should get out of your hair," Alice said, sounding very reluctant, and made to get up from the couch. I could only assume that she had finally surrendered to Jasper's pointed looks, which he had been throwing her way ever since Emmett and Rosalie left half an hour ago.

"Don't be silly, you don't have to leave," I objected. "It's a full house here, anyway, two more or less doesn't make a difference."

"Are you sure?" Alice insisted, but she sank back against the couch.

"Why don't you help me with dinner?" Esme suggested. "Make yourself useful."

"Sure!" Alice happily agreed, jumping up from the couch. I saw Jasper shake his head, an indulgent smile on his face, out of the corner of my eye.

"Do you want a hand?" Renée asked from one of the armchairs, looking like she was about to get up as well.

"No, no, you sit," Esme disregarded, looking a little uncomfortable. Renée's cooking abilities – or lack thereof – were widely known in the family, and nobody accepted her help in the kitchen if they could avoid it.

"Oh, alright." Renée looked defeated, but stayed where she was.

Within half an hour, the smell of lasagna came from the kitchen, and I realized I was really hungry. We'd had pasta salad for lunch earlier, but that was hours ago.

"OK, guys, dinner," Alice announced, taking Emma, who was asleep again, from me so I could get up. "Except for those of us who are still on a liquid diet." She looked up at me. "Do you want me to put her down upstairs? They should be out for a while, right, since they just ate?"

"Yeah." I nodded in agreement. "Just bring the baby monitor with you."

"I'll go with you," Edward said, taking Masen from Lily.

"I can take him," Jasper offered, holding out his arms. "You go eat."

Edward handed Masen over without hesitation, and I watched Jasper carefully cradling him in his arms. He hadn't exactly been at the front of the 'can I hold the baby' line, but he seemed comfortable enough. I even thought I saw a smile before he turned and followed Alice up the stairs.

I hoped being around Ellie and the twins would get those two going as well. I knew they would make amazing parents, but so far, I hadn't heard them discussing it.

**Alice**

I walked up the stairs slowly, terrified of tripping on a step and dropping the tiny person in my arms. I heard Jasper behind me as I opened the door to the nursery with my foot and entered the room. I had already seen it, several times, as a matter of fact, but it stills truck me what lengths my brother would go to. It was absolutely perfect.

I put the sleeping baby down in one of the cribs and leaned against the bars, watching her tiny fists move as she slept. I felt, rather than heard, Jasper come up to me.

"They're perfect when they sleep, aren't they?" he noted after a moment, and I laughed quietly.

"Yeah. Not so much when they're screaming at the top of their lungs, though."

"No," he agreed, and I could hear a smile in his voice. "So, are we going to have a talk when we get home?"

"Talk?" I turned to face him and frowned at the question.

"Don't think I haven't noticed," he told me. "I could see it back when Noah was born, too. And Ellie."

I contemplated that for a moment.

"I assume you're talking about the baby gene? Maternal instinct, or whatever it is."

"Yeah. "He scrutinized my face, as if he was expecting me to try to deny that I had, at times, longed for a child of my own. _Our_ own.

"I'm not going to lie," I started.

"I would know if you tried," he interjected.

"Yes you would," I agreed. "So I won't. I've thought about it, more than once. And especially now, being practically surrounded by babies, it's tempting. I won't deny that. But… I have my kids, my first graders, and, right now, that's enough."

He seemed to think about that for a few seconds.

"Are you sure?" he finally asked.

"I am," I replied with a smile. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I want kids. Some day. As long as I can have them with you. But… not right now."

"OK." He took my hand, and I grabbed the baby monitor off the dresser before he pulled me out of the room.

"You know…" I said with a smile as we walked back down the stairs. "That doesn't mean we can't practice…"

**Edward**

Lily had been asleep for over an hour, my parents and Renée had just retreated to the guest rooms, and Bella had decided to take a quick shower before bed. When I heard the water turn on in our bathroom, I snuck out of our bedroom and into the nursery. We had put Emma and Masen in their cribs, despite the fact that I didn't like not having them in the same room as us, baby monitor or no baby monitor, and I told myself that I was just going to check on them quickly, that I'd be back in our room before Bella got out of the shower and realized I was gone.

But, of course, once I was actually in the room, I couldn't just make sure they were OK and then leave. I moved one of the rocking chairs into the middle of the room, between the cribs, so I could watch them both sleep without problem.

Emma had kicked the cover off, so I carefully pulled it back over her little body, afraid of waking her. But she didn't stir, just sucked on the pacifier and continued to sleep soundly. I couldn't help but run one finger, very softly, over her pink cheek. She turned her head a little at my touch, and I wanted to believe that she knew I was there, that she knew I was watching over her as she slept, that I would always be there to watch over her, no matter what.

Masen had spit out his pacifier – he had done that every time we had tried to give him one so far – and was sucking on his thumb instead, just like he had in one of the ultra sound pictures. I reached into the crib and took the discarded pacifier; might as well let him have his way. I caressed his soft palm with my littlest finger, and his fingers closed around it in a tight grip, as if wanting to hold me there. I didn't complain, but moved the rocking chair a little closer so I could sit down without taking my finger out of his grasp.

I remembered Bella saying, several years ago, that she used to sit by Lily's crib for hours when she was a baby, watching her sleep. I had always understood that, but now I could feel it on a completely new level. I wasn't sure that I would be physically capable of getting up and walking out of the room. I wanted to stay here, with them, forever. I never wanted to leave them, not even for the smallest amount of time.

I knew, of course, on a rational level, that that was impossible. I wouldn't be able to be with them every second of every day. Eventually, they wouldn't want me to. But right now, when they were too little to object, I wanted to be there as much as was humanly possible. Things like sleep seemed very insignificant, as long as I got to be near them all the time.

"I thought you might be in here."

I looked up at Bella's voice and saw her leaning against the doorframe, her hair wet from the shower, wearing her threadbare, terrycloth bathrobe.

"Whatever would give you that idea?" I joked.

"Just a hunch." She came into the room and leaned over Emma's crib for a moment, tucking her cover in a little and letting one hand linger on the tiny chest, which rose and fell in a regular rhythm. Then she turned to Masen's crib and I saw a smile on her face. "He doesn't like that pacifier, does he?"

"Apparently not," I agreed.

"Well, on the plus side, one less to look for when they get lost," Bella reasoned. "On the downside, not so easy to send to Santa."

"Santa?" I questioned with a frown.

"Yeah, when Lily was three, and I thought it was about time she gave up the pacifiers, I said that we'd send them to Santa, so that other kids who didn't have any would get them," she explained. "Worked like a charm. At least, after some persuasion."

"Ah." I realized the problem. "Won't be as easy to send his thumb to Santa."

"I think the authorities might frown upon it, at least."

"Yes, child mutilation is usually not that popular."

She laughed quietly at that.

"Mind if I join you for a moment?" she then asked.

"Sure." I spread my free arm wide for her and she crawled into my lap.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't mind sitting here, watching them all night," she assured me after a few minutes of silence. "But we really should get some sleep. They'll wake us up soon enough."

"I know." I sighed and gently pulled my finger out of Masen's tight clutch.

"Come on," she stood up and held out her hand to me. I looked down at the sleeping babies one last time, then took her hand and followed her out of the nursery and into our bedroom, all the while trying to convince myself that, if they needed us, we would know. We would hear them.

When she had closed the bedroom door behind us, she looked up at me.

"We'll hear them when they wake up," she assured me with a knowing smile. "That's what the baby monitor is for."

"I know," I replied, not sounding as convinced as she might have wanted me to.

I picked up the baby monitor and, before joining her in bed, placed it on my bedside table. Then I turned the volume up as loud as it would go. If I listened closely, I thought I could hear them breathing.

**Bella**

I stayed in the shower for a little longer than necessary, turning the temperature of the water down to where it was almost cold. It felt nice, cooled down my body after the hot day. Eventually, I stepped out of the shower carefully – sudden or quick movements were still a little painful – and dried off before pulling on my favorite bathrobe and going into our bedroom.

I hadn't really expected to find Edward in there, but his absence still brought a smile to my lips. I had no problem figuring out where he was.

I had insisted that the twins sleep in their own beds, in their own room, from the beginning, and hadn't given in no matter what arguments Edward had been able to think of. I knew – from experience, though it had been out of necessity at the time – how hard it could be to move a child into their own room once you had gotten used to having them right there while you slept, and I didn't want to go through that process again. I had a feeling Edward would have even more trouble with that than I'd had with Lily.

So it didn't surprise me when I found him in one of the armchairs in the nursery. I leaned against the doorframe and watched him for a while. He didn't notice me standing there, his eyes were intent on Masen, who was asleep in his crib and holding on tightly to his father's finger. After a few minutes, I decided to make my presence known and at least try to get Edward to come to bed with me. He needed sleep just as much as I did.

"I thought you might be in here," I said, quietly so as not to wake anyone up. Though, if they were anything like Lily had been as a baby – and still was, come to think of it – they wouldn't wake up if a herd of angry bulls hurtled through the room.

He looked up when I spoke, and the flash of pure, undiluted love I could see in his eyes made my breath catch in my throat for a moment. Then he smiled and turned his attention back to the sleeping baby.

"Whatever would give you that idea?"

I smiled at his attempt to joke about the situation. He was only too easy to read sometimes.

"Just a hunch." I stepped over the threshold and went over to Emma's crib. Edward must have pulled the cover up over her again – she always kicked it off as soon as she was asleep – but it was already sliding back down. I tucked it in around her and turned to Masen. He had, as I knew he would, spit out his pacifier and was happily sucking on his thumb. I smiled as the image brought back the memory of the ultra sound a couple of months ago. "He doesn't like that pacifier, does he?" I noted, spotting it in Edward's hand.

"Apparently not."

"Well, on the plus side, one less to look for when they get lost," I said, thinking about the hours I must have spent looking for pacifiers that Lily had lost when she was little. And then I remembered the weeks and weeks of persuasion and tricks it had taken to get Lily to agree to part with her pacifiers and frowned. "On the downside, not so easy to send to Santa."

"Santa?" Edward looked up at me, a frown on his face. Right, he didn't know about our little 'arrangement' with Santa regarding pacifiers.

"Yeah, when Lily was three, and I thought it was about time she gave up the pacifiers, I said that we'd send them to Santa, so that other kids who didn't have any would get them," I clarified. "Worked like a charm. At least, after some persuasion."

"Ah." He looked back down at Masen, sucking on his thumb, and apparently realized the problem at hand. "Won't be as easy to send his thumb to Santa."

I had to suppress a laugh.

"I think the authorities might frown upon it, at least," I concluded.

"Yes, child mutilation is usually not that popular."

I couldn't help laughing a little now, mostly at the matter-of-fact tone in which he said it. Then I remembered why I had come in here.

"Mind if I join you for a moment?" I wondered.

"Sure."

I slowly crawled into his lap, not wanting the rocking chair to start moving too violently. I leaned my head against his shoulder and watched him watch our sleeping son. Now that I was here, I found it a little hard to remember why we actually couldn't sit her all night.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't mind sitting here, watching them all night," I told him after a while, my rational side winning the internal debate. "But we really should get some sleep. They'll wake us up soon enough." And then we would regret not sleeping when we'd had the chance, I knew that.

"I know." He had an almost tortured look on his face as he sighed and gently freed his finger from Masen's hold.

"Come on," I said, getting up out of his lap and holding my hand out to him. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes lingering first on Masen, then Emma, but then he took my hand and let me lead him out of the room, down the hallway and into our bedroom. I was amazed that the battle had been won so easily. When I closed the door behind us, I looked up at him and saw a torn expression on his face. I smiled, knowing exactly how he felt, because I felt it too. Perhaps not as strongly, but still. He wanted to go back in there, keep watch over them as they slept, make sure nothing bad ever happened to them. But we couldn't do that, couldn't be there all the time. And it would be easier to just get this over with right away, instead of later. I knew that. And still, it took all my willpower to stay where I was.

"We'll hear them when they wake up," I said, to convince myself as well as him. "That's what the baby monitor is for."

"I know," he replied, looking and sounding far from convinced.

I pulled the cover back and crawled into bed, leaning back against the pillows. I was really tired, and the twins would be waking up in only a few hours.

I watched as he took the baby monitor from the dresser by the door and brought it with him to the bed, placing it on his bedside table before slipping under the covers next to me. He leaned over it, fiddling with the dial, and then lingered for a moment, as if listening. I realized he must have turned the volume up and was trying to hear them breathing in there.

When he finally lay down, I moved closer to him and leaned my head against his chest. His arm wrapped around me, and I heard him let out a sigh.

"They'll be fine, right?" he asked after a moment.

"They'll be fine."

He didn't seem completely convinced, but after a few minutes, I heard his breathing become more even, and his arm around me relaxed a little. I glanced at the baby monitor on the bedside table, making sure it was on, and then I fell asleep too.

**AN: I put the little scene with Alice and Jasper in there because I have gotten the question why they don't have any kids yet, and I just wanted to make it clear that they will, eventually. Though perhaps not before the end of this story. **

**I also considered ending the story with this chapter, but then I realized that there are a few things I still want to write about, especially some of the 'firsts' from Edward's point of view. So you're stuck with me for a little while longer, I hope that's OK!**


	27. 27 Smiles and Songs

**AN: I was glad to hear that you don't seem to be sick of me yet! I don't know how many more chapters I will write, but there are still a few things I want out there. I think that there is going to be a lot of EPoV from now on, though, just so you're prepared. I want his experience of the first time with the twins, and anything from BPoV will probably be 'reactions' to that. I hope this works for you guys! Oh, and this story beat my review-record this week! You guys are the best!!! Keep it up!**

**Disclaimer: For the fifty-seventh time (literally) I don't own them!**

**27 – Smiles and Songs**

**Edward**

To say that we were exhausted the first few months after the twins were born would have been an understatement. According to the doctor and all the books, they slept like they were supposed to; it usually took a little while to get Masen back to sleep, especially at night, but when he was asleep, he slept like the dead until it was time for his next feeding or his diaper started bothering him. We had managed to get them to at least eat at the same time – since I could feed one of them with a bottle while Bella breastfed the other – but there were no planning diaper changes, so we still had to get up half a dozen times every night, which really was to be expected. The problem was that, unlike the books say, we couldn't sleep when they slept during the days, since we had Lily to think about. Sure, Renée was there, and she told us over and over to just go, get some sleep, that she would keep Lily entertained. But we had decided that we weren't going to let Lily get stuck in the middle, and having two parents who snuck off to sleep every so often during the day would, at least in my opinion, put her right in the middle. After the first week, however, we arrived at a compromise, and we would take turns getting some rest when the twins were asleep. That made the situation much better for us, and probably for Lily as well; sleep deprivation does not make for happy parents.

So I was asleep when Bella's voice woke me up one afternoon when the twins were about two weeks old.

"Sorry," she apologized when I reluctantly opened my eyes to find her holding out the phone to me. "It's Joe, and he refuses to stop calling until I let him talk to you."

"It's fine," I replied, rubbing my eyes to wake up properly. It said something about how tired I was that the sound of the phone hadn't woke me up in the first place. I took the phone from her. "Yes, Joe, what is so important it can't wait two hours?"

"_I'm sorry if my busy schedule doesn't work with your naptime,"_ came his, as always, slightly annoyed voice over the line. I knew for a fact that he wasn't that busy, but was too tired to get into a pointless argument right now.

"What did you want?" I said instead, hoping to get the call over with as soon as possible.

"_Did you get the flowers and the card I sent?"_

"Yes, we got them, thank you." If he had called just to ask that I was going to… I was too tired to think of something bad enough, but he would be sorry.

"_How's the music coming along?"_ His habit of abruptly changing the subject wasn't something I ever really got used to, but at least he had arrived at the point. It could take a while, normally.

"The music has been finished for over a month," I told him. I hadn't wanted to leave it until the last minute, in case the twins had decided to make an early appearance, so I had finished it at the beginning of June.

"_And why haven't I been informed of this?"_ he asked angrily.

"Last time I checked, that was between me and Paul," I replied.

"_But I'm your agent!"_

"Exactly. You don't need to be involved in my work after you've initiated the contract, do you? I mean, isn't that how we usually work?" I knew, of course, that it was all because Paul Parker was involved that he suddenly took an interest.

"_Well, it would be nice to be kept in the loop, regardless." _He paused. _"But if the music is done, why isn't _everything_ done?"_

_Everything_ meaning the money, of course. That was really all that Joe cared about, after all.

"I said that I had finished the music, not that it's been approved," I corrected.

"_But… but why hasn't it? What did you mess up?"_

"Thank you for that vote of confidence," I said sarcastically. "And I was under the impression that you and Paul talked all the time, surely you're well aware of the situation?"

He had made it sound like they were best friends all of a sudden. It was always 'oh, I was talking to Paul the other day' and 'oh, I'm having lunch with Paul tomorrow'. Of course, I knew from my contact with Paul that that was not the case at all, but it was always fun to make Joe squirm a little. And I had to get back at him for waking me up somehow. This was the only revenge I was going to get at the moment.

"_Oh, well, sure, that… that's true, of course, I just… haven't talked to him in a little while, I'm sure he'll call me any day now for lunch, or a round of golf or something…"_

"He's in Europe, filming, has been for a few weeks, so that's why we haven't been able to get together and go through the music," I interrupted. "He'll be back in LA next week and he's flying up here as soon as he can. Don't worry, you'll get your money soon."

"_Oh, good, good."_ I could practically hear him nodding approvingly over the line. _"And the music is, of course, fabulous?"_

_Fabulous_? Had he started watching _Queer Eye_ again?

"Of course it is," I assured him, choosing not to comment on his choice of adjective.

"_Good, good,"_ he repeated. _"I smell an Oscar."_

"I'm sure you do." I was not going to count my Oscar nominations before they had been announced. It was true that Paul's last few movies had all been nominated in a number of categories, including music, but the idea just seemed much too out there for me to even consider it right now. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"_Sure, sorry to have bothered you, I just need to stay on top of things. You understand."_ I didn't, but wasn't about to argue. _"Let me know once everything's done, won't you?"_ Let him know when he could expect to get a big cash-in, more like it.

"Of course. Bye." I hung up without waiting for his reply, and tossed the phone on the bedside table, rolling over and burying my face in the pillows to shut out the sunlight coming in through the window.

But, of course, I couldn't go back to sleep now. After ten minutes, I gave up and got out of bed. On my way downstairs, I stopped at the nursery to make sure the twins were asleep. Emma was snoozing in her crib, but Masen's was empty. When I got downstairs, I found Renée standing by the open French doors, rocking him back and forth, apparently trying to get him to go back to sleep. She turned around when she heard me enter the room.

"That manager of yours can be quite persistent, can't he?" she noted.

"When it comes to money, he's worse than a dog with a bone." I held out my arms and took Masen from her. "And what are you doing up, mister?" He flailed his fist at me, and I let him grab hold of my finger.

"I changed him about half an hour ago, and apparently he has decided that he's not going back to sleep," Renée explained, sitting down on the couch and turning the television on.

"Oh really?" Masen gave one high-pitched cry, as if to confirm what she had just said.

I could hear Bella and Lily in the back yard, so I went outside to see what they were up to. Lily was jumping on the trampoline and Bella was watching her from the porch swing. I sat down next to her.

"Couldn't go back to sleep?" she noted, and I shook my head. "So what did Joe want? I'll admit that I tuned him out, so I didn't catch his actual reason for calling."

"He's just getting anxious, wanted to make sure I hadn't done something to mess up the deal with Paul," I related.

"Since when does he get involved with your work?" she asked, frowning.

"Since it involved Paul Parker and more money than he's ever gotten out of one deal before."

"Of course," she said sarcastically. "I've always liked Joe, you know."

I laughed. "I know, I'm not his biggest fan, either, but he is great at his job." If he wasn't, I would have gotten rid of him long ago.

Bella sighed. "I know."

"Now, back to you, buddy." I turned my attention to Masen. He usually liked the porch swing, and would fall asleep pretty quickly if you sat swinging on it a little with him. And, sure enough, his eyelids were starting to get heavier. "That's more like it."

"Renée tried that earlier, but he was refusing to sleep," Bella told me. "You just wanted daddy, did you? We might have a daddy's boy on our hands."

I smiled at that. I wouldn't have a problem with that at all.

Masen's eyes slid closed, he released my finger and then the corner of his mouth turned a fraction of an inch up.

"Did you see?" I asked Bella incredulously. "He's smiling!"

She laughed quietly next to me.

"It's a little early for smiles yet, honey. It's probably just gas."

I knew what she meant; I had read all the books on when to expect the milestones, and knew that they probably wouldn't smile properly until they were at least four weeks old. But that didn't matter right now; I knew what I had seen, and our son had just smiled for the first time.

**Bella**

The first few months after the twins were born were probably the happiest of my life. Or at least top five. Sure, I was tired, and being woken up in the middle of the night by crying infants isn't exactly the most fun you can have, but none of that could take away the almost overwhelming happiness.

I remembered the joy after Lily had been born, but it was really nothing in comparison with this. Because, back then, there had been an underlying, constant anxiety that neither the support of my parents nor the help from my friends could take away completely. There was no hint of that anxiety now.

I loved feeding them, changing them, and just holding them, long after they were asleep and it would be time to put them in their cribs. But, most of all, I loved watching Edward with them.

I had known, of course, that he was wonderful with Lily and Noah, and Ellie too. So I really should have been prepared for the natural way in which he dealt with the twins. But, still, it caught me off guard, and every now and then, I could feel a tear in the corner of my eye when I saw him with one of them. I blamed lingering hormones for at least some of it, but I knew that the truth was that my mind, on some level, had still expected this to be a repeat of when Lily was a baby, and was amazed that he was actually _there_. It wasn't something I could explain rationally, even to myself, and I never told him about it, because I knew that it would make him sad.

I knew that, if I let him, he would take all the diaper changes and night feedings – not because he wanted to cut me out of anything, but because he wanted to let me sleep and do everything himself – but I insisted that we take turns. Despite what he tried to tell me, he couldn't function without sleep any better than I could. But it was a good thing I was a light sleeper, because he still tried to beat me to it every time one of them woke up.

"Go back to bed," I told him at three in the morning one night. I was sitting in one of the rocking chairs, feeding Emma, and he had claimed the other chair, after having put Masen back in his crib, and was watching the two of us.

"I'm fine," he replied sleepily.

Of course he was.

"Paul's coming to listen to the music later today," I reminded him. "You need to be awake for that."

"I will be," he assured me.

I sighed, but let it go. I knew when I stood a chance at winning an argument, and this wasn't one of those times.

"It's a good thing you've already recorded the music, or you would fall asleep at the piano," I mumbled, and he laughed quietly.

"Paul has kids too, he'll understand."

I hadn't actually met Paul yet, but from what Edward had told me about him during the time that they had worked together, I was sure that he would.

"Fine, it's your funeral," I gave up.

"Actually, I think it's my big chance," he corrected with a smile. "Just think about it. There's already talk of Oscar nomination, and the movie's not even done yet."

It was true that the Oscar speculations had started; I'd read something last week about the expectations on Paul Parker's new movie. Of course, like always, he kept as much as he could about the movie secret until the premiere, so the only thing that was actually known was that he was producing and a few of the actors that were in it, but everything else was a mystery. Except for the fact that it was going to be the biggest movie this year, because Paul Parker's movies always were.

For a moment I let myself imagine it. Not the publicity and the big gala, because I really didn't have any interest in all that and I knew Edward didn't either, but what it would mean for his career and our future. He was already a well-known and respected composer in the movie industry, but with an Oscar nomination…

But it was much too early to start thinking about that.

While I was off in daydream-land, Emma had almost fallen asleep again. I quickly burped her and then put her back in her crib.

"Alright, show's over, back to bed," I announced, ushering Edward out of the room ahead of me. Hopefully, it would be at least two hours until one of the twins woke up again.

**Edward**

I tried to suppress a yawn as I stood at the airport, waiting for Paul to emerge. His flight had landed fifteen minutes ago, and since he wouldn't have checked any luggage, he should be one of the first into the arrival hall.

I fingered my cell phone nervously. I had already called the house two times in the car on the way here and then once after I had gotten to the airport, and Bella had told me that if I called again, she wouldn't pick up. It wasn't really that I didn't think the twins were fine with her and Renée, I just didn't like being away from them. I had never really left them for more than a few minutes here and there before – having happily let Renée take care of grocery shopping and other things that involved leaving the house – and I didn't like the new experience.

"You don't have to look so excited to see me."

The amused voice pulled me back into the present, and I realized I had been staring at a blank stretch of wall for the past few minutes. When I pulled my eyes from it, I found Paul standing in front of me, a big, but understanding, smile on his face.

"Sorry, got distracted," I apologized, shaking his hand. "Good to see you. How was the flight?"

"It was fine. Why don't we get out of here?"

I was glad that he had suggested it, and quickly led the way out of the building and over to where I had parked my car.

"I haven't been in Seattle for years," he mused when I pulled out of the parking lot. "I think the last time was in 96, we shot parts of _Always dream_ here."

"Do you want the big tour?" I asked, hoping that he would say no.

He laughed. "No, I can see that you're anxious to get home. First time you've left the house in the past three weeks?"

"How did you know?" I wondered, relieved that he understood.

"You have the same look I did twenty-five years ago. David was three months old, and my wife kicked me out of the house for an hour every day. She said I had to learn to leave him at some point. I usually sat in my car, waiting for her to let me back in."

He laughed, and I had to join in. I would have to tell Bella about that later, show her that it could be worse.

"Why don't you call and check on them?" Paul suggested.

"I can't," I admitted sheepishly, shrugging. "I already called three times on the way here, and Bella said she wouldn't pick up if I called again. She said something about being obsessive."

He laughed again, louder this time. "Looks like you've got one hell of a woman there."

No need to tell me that.

"Yeah, she's amazing."

The midmorning traffic was sparse, so we were at the house within half an hour. I didn't bother pulling the car into the garage, but parked in the driveway.

"Nice place," Paul noted when I had opened the door to let him into the house. "Have you lived here long?"

"About three years," I replied, closing the door behind us. "Hello?"

"Shhh!" Bella hissed, coming out of the kitchen. "Masen just fell asleep!"

"Oh." I was a little disappointed; I had been hoping that they would still be awake after eating when I got home.

"And this must be the lovely Bella," Paul said, extending his hand to her. "It is wonderful to finally be able to put a face to the name. I have heard so much about you."

"Really?" Bella shot me a look as she shook his hand. "It's very nice meeting you too."

"You have a wonderful home," he complimented.

"Thank you." I was sure she, like I, thought of his mansion in Beverly Hills. Our house was nothing more than a cottage in comparison.

"And where's the rest of the family?" he wondered curiously.

"They're out in the back yard," Bella replied. "Have to enjoy the sun while it lasts up here, you know."

"Very true." Paul nodded, turning to me. "Why don't we get started?"

"Of course," I agreed. "The study's through there, I'll join you in just a moment."

Bella gave me an exasperated glance, but I chose to ignore it. I just needed to make sure that they were asleep and safe in their cribs before I could concentrate on something else.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to accompany you," Paul offered with a knowing wink. "Meet the latest members of the Cullen family."

"Sure," I agreed.

"We're having lunch at around one, would you like me to make some for you too?" Bella wondered as we were about to leave the room.

"Please, no trouble on my account," Paul replied.

"It's no trouble," she disregarded. "One person more or less won't make a difference. Besides, you'll probably be busy most of the afternoon, the least we can do is feed you when you've come all this way."

"Oh, alright," he surrendered. "I would love to join you for lunch."

"Then I'll call you when the food's ready," Bella concluded with a smile.

"Thanks," I said, giving her a kiss before leading Paul up the stairs.

"Your wife is a lovely woman," he commented.

"Thank you."

"Reminds me a little of my first wife." He got a nostalgic look on his face, and when he continued, it sounded more like he was talking to himself than to me. "I never should have let her go."

I didn't comment on that, but opened the door to the nursery and went into the room, eager to see for myself that they were still there, were still safe.

"This brings back memories," Paul said quietly when I leaned over Emma's crib to pull the cover back up over her. "Looking back, you even miss the things you grumbled over. Getting woken up in the middle of the night, colic, when they refuse to sleep…" He gave me a slightly nostalgic smile. "Don't forget about those things. It's not just the happy moments that make for good memories."

I could see his logic, of course, but I doubted I would be able to when I got woken up for the third time just when I had been able to go back to sleep. I did value my time with them, every single moment, and I knew I would look back on every little detail of this time with a smile on my face in five, ten, fifteen years.

I gave the sleeping babies in their cribs one last, lingering look, and then led Paul back into the hallway and down the stairs. We shut ourselves in the study, and I put the CD I had recorded with the music that I had composed for the movie into the CD-player. While the music played, I explained to Paul in which scenes I had imagined which song.

"I knew you were the right man for the job," he said with a big smile when the last beat had faded away, and silence filled the room.

I let out a breath I hadn't know I'd been holding, and felt myself relax. I had been more nervous about his reaction than I had admitted, even to myself, and hearing him approve took a huge weight off my shoulders.

"I'm glad you like it," I replied, taking the CD out of the player.

"I do, I really do." He nodded. "There are a few things that I'd like to talk about, and then I'd like to take the CD with me and go back to my hotel and listen through it a few more times, see if there's anything else."

"Sure." I had expected to have to work on most of the songs, maybe even come up with something new to replace the ones that he didn't want at all, so this sounded very good.

"But first," he started, glancing at his watch, "I believe I have been invited to lunch."

**Bella**

I tried to stay away from the closed door to the study while Edward and Paul were in there, but I found myself sneaking down the hallway every now and then, anyway. I was just so curious to hear what Paul thought, and to hear the music. Edward had played parts of most of the songs for me over the past few months, little pieces here and there, but he never played entire songs before they had been 'approved', and I couldn't wait to hear the end result. I hoped Paul wouldn't be too hard on him, want too many changes; I knew Edward had put his heart and soul into the music – he always did – and he would be really disappointed if Paul didn't like it.

At twelve thirty, I had to start lunch and had to settle for quick glances down the hallway every now and then. When I finally heard the door open, twenty minutes later, I almost had trouble remaining at the kitchen counter, but I contained myself.

As soon as they came into the room, I could tell that it had gone well. Edward had a big smile on his face, and Paul looked very pleased as well. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I hope you're happy with the music," I said, wanting to make sure.

"I'm very happy with it," Paul replied with a smile. "As I expected, your husband was the perfect choice for this movie. Like I told Edward, there are a few details I want to discuss, but all in all, I love it. And now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to take a look at your garden and introduce myself to the rest of the family."

With that, he left the room.

"It really went well?" I asked, lowering my voice a little and glancing after Paul.

"It went great," Edward replied, still smiling. "I was really expecting to have to rewrite at least a few of the songs, but like he said, he just wants to discuss some details."

"Oh, I'm so glad!" I reached up so I could kiss him and then wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. "I know how hard you've worked on this, and I'm glad it's turning out the way you wanted it to," I mumbled in his ear.

"Couldn't have done it without you," he replied, pulling out of the embrace. "Do you want help with anything?"

"I've got everything under control, but you can set the table," I told him, turning back to the stove.

I heard him open the cupboard and take out plates and glasses. A moment later, the timer beeped and I took the chicken out of the oven. As I put it down on the table, a thought occurred to me.

"He's not a vegetarian or anything, is he?" I wondered. "I didn't even think to ask."

"I'm sure he would have said something if he was," Edward assured me, taking two bottles of water from the fridge.

"Yeah, you're right." I nodded, wiping my hands on a towel. "We'll, it's done, I'll just go let them know."

Lily was on the trampoline, as always – she still loved it, even after three years – and Renée and Paul were sitting on two lawn chairs, talking.

"Lunch is ready," I told them, stopping just outside the French doors.

"Wonderful!" Paul said, getting up from the chair. "Ladies first."

Lunch was both pleasant and interesting. Paul blended in without seeming to try at all, talking with everyone about whatever topic was brought up. He complimented the food, but not in the way people do when they're just being polite; he gave the impression of really meaning everything he said. He was… genuine, was a good way of expressing it. I didn't have much experience with Hollywood people, but I hadn't expected him to be so down to earth and just… normal. I could easily see why Edward liked him.

Just when Renée and I started clearing the table, there was a cry from the baby monitor. Paul immediately got up and took the plate I had just picked up out of my hands.

"Let me take care of that," he said. "I believe there's someone upstairs who wants your attention."

"Don't be ridiculous," Renée objected. "I'll handle this, you're our guest."

"And a guest that is perfectly capable of loading a dishwasher," he insisted, piling a few more plates on top of the one he already had in his hands and bringing them over to the sink.

I was about to object, but another cry joined the first one, settling the discussion. Both Edward and I got up and climbed the stairs.

"He's really nice," I noted as we entered the nursery, where both Emma and Masen were crying at the top of their lungs. "I mean, I didn't expect him not to be, or anything, but he's just like everybody else."

Edward laughed at my words, and scoped Emma up out of her crib. I picked up Masen, making sure his diaper was dry before sitting down in one of the rocking chairs to feed him.

"He _is_ like everybody else," Edward pointed out, putting Emma down on the changing table. "Just a little more famous than most of us."

"I know he is," I replied dryly. "I just meant that I thought he would be more… I don't know. I don't have as much experience with the rich and famous as you do, you know." Lots of sarcasm on the last bit.

"I'm just teasing you." He finished changing Emma and sat down with her in the other rocking chair. "And I do know what you mean. From what I've experienced, Paul is much more down to earth than other people in his position."

That was exactly what I had thought earlier. Down to earth.

"Well, I'm glad you got to work with him," I said. "And not just because he's the biggest producer in Hollywood right now, but because I can see that you actually enjoy working with him."

"I really do," he replied, nodding. "He listens to what I have to say, which is more than I can say for some of the people I've worked with in the past few years. A lot of them have been so set on what _they_ want that they won't even consider that their way might not be the best way, and I just end up going along with whatever it is because I know they'll never approve what I do if I don't."

I remembered that he had complained about this before, when working with different producers and directors, and I understood his frustration. I had worked with more than one client who knew exactly what they wanted their campaign to look like with only one little problem; it wasn't possible to actually do, or it wouldn't work from a publicity point of view. Sometimes you weren't able to convince them to go with something other than what they had in mind, and then you had to decide whether or not you were going to work with them at all. I had the possibility of saying 'no' once I'd talked to the client; Edward didn't have that. He usually signed the contract after having looked at the script, and couldn't go back on that once he'd met with the people responsible.

"Swap?" Edward wondered, pulling me out of my thoughts.

We had perfected the 'swapping baby' routine pretty quickly, and a moment later, I had Emma in my arms. She wasn't as big of an eater as her brother, which also showed in the fact that the difference in weight between them had increased in the weeks since they were born. But she was eating enough, and they were both gaining weight according to the curve, so it wasn't a problem. Soon, she was almost falling asleep, so I burped her and then put her back in the crib. Masen, however, didn't seem like he was all that interested in being put back in his crib; he protested wildly as soon as Edward put him down.

"Here, I'll take him," I offered. "You go back downstairs and get to work again."

"OK." I could both hear the reluctance in his voice and see it in his eyes as he handed Masen to me. He glanced over his shoulder twice before leaving the room, and I thought I saw him sigh just before the door closed behind him.

"You two really have your daddy wrapped around your little fingers, don't you?" I mumbled, sitting back down in the rocking chair. The safest way to get Masen to sleep was movement; the rocking chair, the porch swing, things like that usually worked. Right now, however, he just looked up at me with those baby-blue eyes – he had stopped crying as soon as Edward picked him up again – and I couldn't help but smile.

**Edward**

I had to force myself to be able to pay attention to what Paul was saying for the rest of the afternoon. Suddenly, I saw the whole 'working from home' thing from an entirely new perspective; I had never really worked when Lily'd had time off from school, so I hadn't experienced the pull of having another person who you were responsible for in the same house while you tried to do your job, the way your attention insisted on going off in different directions. I couldn't say that I liked it.

Fortunately, Paul was very patient, and didn't complain when he had to repeat what he'd just said over and over.

After a couple of hours, he leaned back in the chair and smiled at me.

"I think that's it," he said, sounding content. "And don't feel like these are some kind of orders, I just want you to try it out. If it doesn't work, let me know and we'll either stick with what you have now or try something else. You are the pro here, after all, I'm just putting my two cents in."

It was a relief to know that I wouldn't have to follow his instructions if it turned out to sound like hell. I gathered the notes I'd been taking and put them away in one of the desk drawers.

"I'll get to work on this tomorrow," I told him, standing up.

"That sounds great." He nodded. "I'll listen to this a few more times back at the hotel." He held up the CD. "I'll give you a call tomorrow if there's anything else I want to discuss, but I don't think there will be. Then you can just send me the sound files when you're done, and I'll listen to them. I have no doubt that it'll be great. And then send me the sheet music and everything else the people on LA will need."

"Sounds like a plan." I led the way out of the room. "Do you want me to drive you to the hotel?"

"No, no, I'll take a cab," he dismissed my offer, taking a step into the living room where Bella and Renée were watching TV. I had heard Donna and Catie pick Lily up earlier; the girls were having a slumber party tonight.

"Are you leaving?" Bella asked when she spotted Paul in the doorway.

"Yes, we're all done for now," he replied. "It was very nice meeting both of you, and I hope we'll see more of each other in the future." He shot a meaningful look my way when he said the last part, and I smiled back at him. I was sure this wouldn't be the last time we worked together.

xxxxx

Later that night, when Bella had gone upstairs to check on the twins, I couldn't help but sit down at the piano and try out a few of the things Paul had proposed. Some of his suggestions were things that I was surprised that I hadn't thought of myself while I worked on the music. But there were others that I doubted would work. However, I was going to at least try it, and then give him my opinion.

I started from the beginning, fiddling with the first song he had suggested working on. To my surprise, I realized that his suggestion, which I had all but disregarded without even trying it, made the song much better.

"Mind if I listen?"

I looked up to see Bella at the foot of the stairs and smiled at her.

"Of course not," I told her, moving over on the piano bench so that she could sit down next to me. A memory of an evening, many years ago, when we had been sitting like this at this same piano, in our house in Forks, flashed through my mind.

"You're trying out the suggestions Paul made?" she asked as I played the first tunes of another song.

"Yeah." I nodded. "He really has a talent for this, even the things I didn't think would work seem to be improving the music. I wish I'd thought of all of this."

"You're too close to it," she reasoned. "It's really hard to take a step back and say 'OK, how can I make this even better?' when you've worked so hard and invested so much in a project."

I nodded, a little absentmindedly, at that. It was true. Once I got completely caught up in a job, I usually had a hard time trying to see different options.

"It's beautiful," she murmured a moment later, leaning her head against my shoulder. "Of course, all your music is, but this might be the best yet. I'm glad you decided to let me hear it."

"Let you hear it?" I frowned. "You can listen any time, you know that."

"But you're always a little secretive when you're working on something," she replied. "I guess I just figured you didn't want anyone to hear until it was done."

I played the final note of the song and then wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer.

"You're not just anyone."

**AN: Just wanted to say that I don't know the first thing about the movie-music industry or marketing, so everything relating to that is strictly creative freedom! **


	28. 28 Ice Cream and Lingerie

**AN: Another chapter for you guys, hope you like it! Will Edward get over his slightly overprotective tendencies? **

**Disclaimer: I feel like I'm repeating myself, but I guess it can't be helped. No, they are not mine.**

**28 – Ice Cream and Lingerie**

**Edward**

A week after Paul's visit, I e-mailed him the sound files with the – hopefully – finished music. A few days later, he called to say that he loved it and didn't want to change a thing, and I felt like I could finally relax. I had really loved working with Paul, but since it had taken so long from the time when I had finished the music until the time when I had finally gotten the OK, it felt like I'd had it hanging over me for much too long. This wasn't something that would normally bother me, but right now, I had other priorities.

When the music was finished and I had given Paul everything he would need for the recording, I could finally focus on what I wanted to focus on. The twins were already a month old now, and were growing faster than I would have thought possible. They weren't eating as often anymore, which meant that we got some much needed breathing time in between feedings and diaper changes.

"Can we go to the zoo today?" Lily asked hopefully one morning in the middle of August. Renée was staying with us for another two weeks, and Phil had come to Seattle last week to spend his vacation with us as well.

"Why don't you go to the zoo with grandma Renée and uncle Phil?" I suggested, taking the empty plate in front of her and putting it in the dishwasher.

"OK." I heard the disappointment in her voice, and when I turned back around, I saw her head drop dejectedly.

Maybe we could leave the twins with Renée and Phil instead, and spend a few hours with Lily? It seemed like a good idea – let her get our full attention for a little while – but at the same time, my mind was protesting wildly.

"Why don't we all go?" Bella suggested with a pointed look at me from where she was sitting at the table, ending my internal pondering. "The weather is really nice, and I definitely wouldn't mind getting out of the house for a while."

"Yay!" Lily exclaimed, the smile on her face huge. "And I can show Emma and Masen the penguins, and the lions, and the monkeys, I bet they'll love the monkeys! I'm going to get dressed!"

And she disappeared out of the room, leaving us alone.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked nervously as soon as I heard Lily's footsteps running down the hallway upstairs. "Aren't you supposed to avoid taking newborns out into public, especially crowded places like the zoo?"

"They're seven weeks old," Bella pointed out calmly. "And it's not like we'll be in a small room with sick people sneezing at them or anything. We'll be out in the open air. And the weather is nice, it's not too hot. I think it'd be good for _us_."

The way she emphasized the last word left no doubt in my mind that _us_ really meant _me_.

"I just don't want them getting sick," I insisted.

"They won't. And if they do, it'll still be fine." She gave me a knowing smile. "They're a lot tougher than they look, you know."

I gave her a doubtful look and she sighed.

"Do you want to call Carlisle and ask him?" she asked impatiently.

"I would, thank you." I grabbed the cordless phone off the counter and left the kitchen. I saw her roll her eyes at me as I went, but the smile on her face was warm, so I knew I hadn't insulted her too much by wanting to consult my father.

"_Doctor Cullen's office."_

"Hi Jill," I greeted Carlisle's secretary. "Is my dad available?"

"_Sure, Edward, hang on just a minute."_

I waited while she connected me.

"_Hello?"_ Carlisle's voice came over the line.

"Hi dad."

"_Edward, hello. How is everything?"_

"Everything is good," I replied. He and Esme had been down here just a few days ago. "I just wanted your professional opinion on something."

"_Go ahead."_ I could tell that his medical training kicked in from the tone of his voice.

"Well, Bella suggested that we all go to the zoo today, and I just wanted to know if you think it's a good idea to bring the twins there. I don't want to risk them getting sick or anything."

"_I don't see why not,"_ he answered. _"The thing you need to be careful about when it comes to newborns is that they don't catch infections, but in an open space like that, it shouldn't be a problem. And if the weather in Seattle is anything like it is here, it's ideal. Not raining or too cold, and not too hot."_

That was pretty much what Bella had said.

"Thanks dad," I said. "I just wanted to make sure."

"_Always happy to help."_

"How's work? Tourists keeping you busy?" You could always count on at least one inexperienced hiker getting into trouble during the summer months in Forks. There hadn't been any bear attacks in a few years, but there were always broken legs and dehydration; people from the city coming up and thinking they could just go for a twelve-hour hike without knowing anything about hiking.

"_It's been an unusually quiet summer so far."_ He sighed over the line. _"Of course, now that I've said that, I've more or less tempted Fate."_

I laughed.

"You might want to alert the ER," I joked.

I heard his beeper in the background, and then he sighed.

"_I have to go, I'm sorry."_

"It's fine, dad, I know what your job is like," I assured him.

"_Yes, you would, wouldn't you?"_ For a moment, he sounded a little sad, and I remembered something he had told me only a few years ago. How he had blamed himself back when I had gotten mixed up with the world of drugs in LA, that he thought he should have been home more than he had been. I had tried to tell him that it had nothing to do with him, that it had been completely my own fault, but I didn't think that it had helped much. _"Anyway, I expect I will see you on Friday; I'm sure I won't be able to keep your mother away for an entire weekend when I don't have to be on call."_

"Sounds good, dad."

"_Talk to you soon."_

I hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen. As I entered the room, Bella looked up at me, eyebrows raised.

"Well?" she asked.

"You win," I admitted, sitting down at the table to finish my coffee. "He said pretty much the same thing that you did, that it'll be fine."

"See? I told you!" She got up and wrapped her arms around me from behind. "And thank you."

"For what?" I looked up at her incredulously. "Doubting you?"

"Well, sort of," she replied, making me frown. "But mostly for needing to make sure for yourself, not taking my word for everything. I know you well enough to know that it has nothing to do with not believing what I say, and everything to do with how much you love our children."

"Of course I do."

"Exactly."

She left the room, and I looked after her for a long moment, still not completely sure what she had meant. Then I finished the last of the coffee and went upstairs to shower and get dressed. Apparently, we were going to the zoo today.

**Bella**

I left a confused Edward to finish his breakfast and went upstairs to get ready. I really did believe that it would be good for him to take the twins with us to the zoo; he had a tendency to be overprotective, and the only way to get him to ease up a bit would be to show him that there was nothing dangerous out there. And it would be good for Lily to get to spend the day with us, doing something she liked. She had been more patient than you could really expect of any nine-year-old the past two months, but I saw the disappointment that had started seeping through her cheerfulness the last couple of times that we had explained that we couldn't do a certain thing because of the twins, or that she would have to do it with her grandparents or aunts and uncles. We had promised ourselves that she wouldn't end up in the middle, and I was going to make sure that she didn't.

I checked that the twins were still sleeping before going into our bedroom and turning the water on in the shower. As I stepped under the spray, I couldn't help but smile at Edward's call to Carlisle. Someone who didn't know him as well as I did might think that he didn't trust my judgment, but I knew that that wasn't the case. And I just loved him all the more for it.

**Edward**

We survived the trip to the zoo. And we had fun; even me, at least after the first half an hour, when I could finally relax a little. Lily had a blast, and when I saw her skipping down the path ahead of me, I realized that she hadn't really been her own exuberant self in the past few days. I felt guilty for not having noticed that before and then, with a pang, I understood that it was because she had felt neglected, something that we had promised to do everything to avoid. I decided right then and there that I would try harder, give her the time she needed and deserved. Bella managed to make time for Lily, and so would I. Maybe we could do something, just the two of us, a couple of times a week. Get out of the house, like we had last summer, just for a few hours here and there. My subconscious protested against this idea, since it would mean leaving the twins at the house, but I tried not to think about that. Maybe it would be good for me too, and not only getting to spend time alone with Lily. Maybe, like Bella said, I needed to learn to let go. Just a little. Even if that thought frightened me more than I wanted to think about right now.

I didn't say anything about this new resolve, and surprised both Bella and Lily when I suggested that the two of us go out for ice cream after dinner the next day.

"You mean like just you and me?" Lily asked, sounding astonished, and I felt even more guilty. She shouldn't feel like it was something out of the ordinary, the two of us doing something together.

"Exactly," I replied, putting on a smile. "I mean, unless you have more important plans."

She shook her head vigorously.

"Then go get ready."

She jumped off the chair she had been sitting on and sprinted out of the room.

"We'll take care of the dishes," Renée said when she had disappeared, breaking the silence in the room.

"Thanks, mom," Bella replied with a smile, and then pulled me with her into the living room. "You just made our little girl very happy."

I shrugged.

"I just think that she's started to feel like I neglect her," I explained. "And I don't like that."

"I know." She nodded. "I was going to talk to you about it, but I'm glad that you noticed yourself. Do you think you'll manage to find a good balance?"

"I hope so." I glanced up the stairs, in the direction of the nursery, where Emma and Masen were asleep. "I mean, the thought of leaving them isn't very appealing, but I know that they're fine here with you. I know that, really, even if I still don't like it. But I think I need to start letting go little by little, and a trip to the ice cream parlor seems like a good place to start."

"I couldn't agree more," she replied with a smile. "Baby steps, it's the only way to do it."

"Exactly."

At that moment, Lily's rushed footsteps were heard on the stairs, and a second later, she appeared in the room.

"I'm ready!" she announced breathlessly.

"Then let's go."

Most of the summer – after those few weeks of extreme heat in May – had been rainy with temperatures around seventy degrees; in other words, your typical Seattle summer. But this evening, the sky was a clear blue and the air was still warm when we left the house.

"Anywhere special you want to go, princess?" I asked when we were in the car, and saw a wide smile spread on Lily's face.

"Can we go to Molly Moon's?" she wondered, naming her favorite ice cream place.

"Sure we can."

I pulled out of the driveway and turned towards Wallingford, where the ice cream shop was located. When we got there, it was full of people enjoying the nice evening, and I realized that we'd have to wait in line for a while. I fingered the cell phone in my pocket, but didn't pick it up. This was my time with Lily, and I was going to focus only on her. Besides, Bella would call if something came up.

I resolutely pulled my hand away from my pocket and asked Lily what she wanted, which I knew would keep her talking until we got up to the counter. When it came to ice cream, she could never make up her mind until she absolutely had to.

"You want to go to the playground while we eat these?" I asked when we had finally gotten our ice cream cones. There was a playground just a few blocks from the shop.

"OK," Lily happily agreed.

We stayed at the playground for almost an hour after the ice cream was finished, and it was a little before eight by the time we got home. Bella was sitting on the living room couch with Masen in her arms, and through the open French doors, I could see Renée and Phil on the porch swing.

"I'm going to bed," Lily announced. "Nigh mom, night dad."

I stared after her when she disappeared up the stairs.

"Is she sick?" I asked no-one in particular. "It's not even eight yet, and she's going to bed voluntarily?"

"She's reading a very exciting book," Bella explained. "And don't complain; soon enough we'll be worrying about her staying up too late."

I didn't particularly want to think about that, so I didn't reply.

"Did you put Emma to bed already?" I asked instead, sitting down next to Bella on the couch.

"Yeah, she fell asleep right after she ate," she replied. "And it seems like Mr. 'I'm not tired' here has given in too."

I held out my arms for Masen, and she carefully, so as not to wake him up, shifted him into them. I leaned down a little and inhaled that special baby smell that wasn't quite like anything else, feeling myself relax a little now that I was able to make sure for myself that both he and Emma were safe and well.

"I'm proud of you," Bella said quietly next to me.

"You are?" I looked up at her, wondering what she meant.

"You managed to not call," she clarified. "I expected you to give in at least once, but you didn't."

"It was hard," I admitted. "But Lily needs us to focus on just her some of the time too, so I just made up my mind not to call."

"That's good." She gave me a knowing smile. "And it'll get easier."

It turned out that she was right. Over the next few weeks, I made an effort to get some alone time with Lily at least three times a week; it didn't have to be anything special, just as long as it was just her and me for a little while, so she could feel that she didn't have to compete with the twins for my attention. And every time, the little voice inside me that tried to get me to stay in the house got a little less loud.

One day, at the beginning of September, I found myself at the mall with Lily and Alice. Lily got to decide what we did during our 'alone time', and today she had wanted to go shopping for new clothes for school, which was starting up again next week. Since I felt like I was a little bit out of my league with that, I had called my fashion-crazy sister to help, after having forced her to promise she wouldn't drag us around the entire mall.

"So, do you have any plans for Bella's birthday yet?" Alice asked as we waited for Lily outside the changing rooms in one of the stores.

"Not really." I frowned. "I mean, I want it to be special, but I'm not sure what to get her."

"How about a weekend away, just the two of you?" Alice suggested. "You can't have gotten much alone time together lately."

"That's true." A weekend away, just the two of us… it did sound like a very good idea, if only it didn't involve leaving the twins. "But that would require babysitters, and Renée's leaving this weekend."

"Call mom and dad," Alice replied, shrugging. "They'll be thrilled to get to look after the kids, you know that."

I did know that. And I was sure Bella would love to get away; we both needed it, to be honest. But my entire being was protesting wildly. Leaving the twins for just a few hours when Bella was still with them was one thing, I didn't have a problem with that now, and didn't even have to resist calling to check on them. But both of us leaving them for an entire weekend, even if they would be with my parents, was something entirely different.

"I'll think about it," I told Alice, who gave me an exasperated look.

"You don't even have to leave town," she insisted. "Just get one of those waterfront suites at The Marriott, Bella will love that. And you'll be right here if anything should happen – not that it will."

She had a point. I knew that it would make at least me feel a lot better if we were still in the city, within reach.

"I think I'll do that," I concluded, making the decision before I had a chance to convince myself not to go through with it.

"Great. Call dad to check which weekend works for them before you make a reservation, though."

I called my parents that same afternoon, when Bella and Lily were out taking a walk with the twins. Bella had gotten it into her head to take a long walk at least a few times a week, to help the process of getting rid of what she called 'the last baby pounds' along. I thought she was ridiculous; she had already lost most, if not all, of the weight she had put on during the pregnancy from breastfeeding the twins, and there was no rush to lose the few remaining pounds. In fact, I wouldn't care if she didn't. But, apparently, she did.

"_Hello?"_ Esme answered the phone after a few rings.

"Hi mom."

"_Edward, hi, is everything OK?"_

I could hear a hint of worry in her voice and had to repress a sigh. Esme had always been the one who worried about the family, sometimes too much. And since Ellie and the twins had been born, she had gotten even worse. I loved her for caring so much, but it must stress her out to always jump to the worst conclusions every time the phone rang. I hoped it was just temporary, and that she would get over it soon.

"Everything's fine, mom," I assured her. "I just wanted to talk to you and dad about something."

"_Oh, OK. Your father's at the hospital, so you'll have to do with just me."_

"That's fine. I was just wondering about next weekend, after Bella's birthday, if you were planning on coming down here?"

"_Of course,"_ she replied immediately. _"We're driving down on Saturday morning, Carlisle's on call the night between Friday and Saturday, or we would have left on Friday. Charlie and Sue are coming with us, too."_

"Great. Do you mind babysitting while you're here? I was going to get a reservation at The Marriott, so that Bella and I could get some alone time. Just one night," I hurried to add. I wasn't sure if I was assuring her or myself… probably a little bit of both.

"_Oh, you know we would love that!"_ I could practically hear the excitement in Esme's voice.

"I know, mom, I just wanted to make sure."

"_Well, don't worry about it. We will be there, and we will be more than happy to watch the children."_

"Great," I said again. One part of the Plan down… "I've got to go now, I need to call the hotel. I hope they're not booked…" I should have thought of this sooner.

"_I'm sure they're not,"_ Esme encouraged. _"Keep me updated, and we'll see you next weekend."_

"See you then, mom. Say hi to dad for me."

"_I will. Goodbye, darling."_

I hung up the phone and then called information, where I was forwarded to the hotel.

"_Seattle Marriott Waterfront,"_ one of those generic, pleasant voices answered. _"How may I help you?"_

"Hi, I'd like to make a reservation for next weekend."

"_Alright. Friday to Sunday?"_

"No, just one night, Saturday to Sunday," I replied. The twins were still breastfeeding, and even if they both accepted the bottle – Emma still a little reluctantly – we wouldn't be able to stay away for longer. And I wasn't sure I would be able to, for completely different reasons…

I made myself, and Bella, a promise. At some point next spring, when the twins were a little older and had stopped breastfeeding, we would take another trip, maybe a long weekend to New York or San Francisco. But for now, this would be enough.

"_Alright. And what kind of room are you interested in?"_

"One of the waterfront suites."

"_And will it be just you?"_

"No, two people."

"_OK then, I'll just need names and you'll be all set."_

I gave him our information, and with an overly-excited voice, he welcomed us on the fourteenth after four in the afternoon.

As I hung up the phone, the front door opened, and I heard Lily's excited voice telling Bella something about a puppy.

"Not right now, sweetie, OK?" Bella replied to what had obviously been a question. "A puppy is a lot of work, and we already have the twins. But maybe in a year or two, OK?"

Lily didn't seem too discouraged by this.

"OK," she happily agreed, appearing in the doorway to the living room. "Guess what, dad? Mom said that we can get a puppy in a year or two!"

I shot a questioning look at Bella, who had appeared behind Lily in the doorway, Masen in her arms, and she shrugged sheepishly.

"That's great," I replied. I wouldn't mind getting a dog, really. Like Bella had said, though, we had our hands full with the twins at the moment.

"I'm going to go call Amy," Lily announced. "Maybe I can help her walk Sophie!"

She disappeared up the stairs, and Bella came and sat down next to me on the couch.

"I take it Amy has a dog?" I assumed.

"Exactly."

"A dog named Sophie?"

"I know." Bella laughed a little. "I think Amy's little sister got to name her. She's four."

"That would explain it. Is Emma asleep in the carriage?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to wake her up, she just fell asleep on the way back," she explained. "This young man, however, has apparently decided to skip his afternoon nap today."

Both Masen and Emma were awake a lot more now, and more aware. It was fascinating to watch them grow and develop. They were both smiling now, especially when you talked to them, and it was an amazing feeling when your voice made that little smile appear. They could follow you with their eyes, as long as you weren't too far away, and especially Emma seemed to want to keep an eye on you when you were in the same room. She had also started sleeping better at night, and had even slept through two whole nights now. We just hoped she would rub off on her brother soon; he still woke up at least twice every night.

"I've got a birthday present for you, by the way," I revealed.

"But my birthday's not until next Friday," she objected, looking surprised. I supposed this was out of character; I usually wanted to surprise her with gifts.

"Well, this one needs some prep work," I explained. "I've booked a suite at The Marriott next Saturday, and my parents and your dad and Sue will watch the kids."

I saw her face light up with excitement.

"We're staying at a hotel?" she said incredulously. "Just you and me?"

"That was the idea," I confirmed. "Hotel breakfast, room service… anything you want."

"_Anything_ I want?" She had a suggestive look in her eyes as she leaned towards me.

"Anything."

Our lips were only an inch apart when Masen decided to remind us of his presence. Bella reluctantly pulled away and gave him a look through narrowed eyes.

"You couldn't let me have daddy to myself for just a moment?" she asked in an amused voice, and got a big smile in return. At the same time, a familiar smell spread in the room. Bella wrinkled her nose. "I think we have a code brown." She got up off the couch.

"I'll take it," I said quickly, but she was already at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sit!" she ordered, turning around with an expression that you didn't argue with on her face. "I've got it."

I obediently sat back down and she ascended the stairs with a now crying Masen, muttering something about 'a whole night without interruptions' as she disappeared.

I had to admit that I liked her way of looking at it. It honestly hadn't been the reason why I made the hotel reservation – I just thought it would do us both good to get away for a little while, get a good night's sleep and just focus on _us_ for a change – but now that she had planted the idea in my mind… it was hard to let it go. Neither of us had had the time, or the energy, for sex in the past couple of months. There had been a few times when we had actually been interrupted before we had gotten very far, but most nights we were both so tired that we just fell asleep as soon as we were in bed. I knew that this was probably to be expected, and I had tried not to think too much about it so as to avoid getting frustrated about it. We would get back there, eventually, when life became a little more normal.

I suddenly looked forward to next weekend even more than I already had, and even the idea of leaving the twins for an entire night didn't seem as insurmountable any more.

**Bella**

"Sit!" I gave Edward my 'don't mess with me' look as I turned to face him. "I've got it."

I saw him sit back down on the couch and started climbing the stairs, shaking my head; he still tried to take all the diaper changes.

Masen had apparently noticed that he wasn't dry anymore, because he started crying at the top of his lungs.

"A whole night without interruptions, I can't wait," I mumbled, imagining what it would be like. Silence. Privacy. They seemed like abstract concepts to me right now. Heaven.

I had asked my doctor about sex after giving birth at the postnatal check-up a couple of weeks ago – since this hadn't been an issue after I'd had Lily, I had no idea what to expect – and she had told me that as long as the postpartum bleeding wasn't very heavy and I felt OK with it, it was fine. And I felt more than OK with it. I had even gotten a DMPA injection three weeks ago, so we were all set.

But, of course, it wasn't that easy. The few times when we'd had enough energy at the end of the day to even attempt being intimate, we had been interrupted. What was annoying was that Edward didn't seem the least bit frustrated by this. I was _very_ frustrated.

So an entire night at a hotel, just the two of us, seemed like an extremely good idea.

A logical part of my brain tried to tell me that maybe we should use at least some of that alone time to catch up on sleep, but another part – the part that tingled a little every time Edward touched me, even if it was just an innocent touch – quickly dismissed that idea.

As I mechanically changed Masen's diaper, my mind was already on next weekend, making plans. And I decided that the first step would be to go shopping. When Masen was clean, dry and happy again, I made a detour to the bedroom and called Angela. Normally, when it came to shopping, I would turn to Alice, but somehow I didn't think that she'd be too thrilled about helping me pick out an outfit with the purpose of seducing her brother. And, also, Angela wouldn't force me into something that I'd feel embarrassed wearing, which was always a risk when it came to Alice.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Ang. Got a minute?" I usually tried not to call Angela during the day, since I didn't want to distract her from her work.

"_Always for you, you know that. What's up?"_

"I was just wondering if you felt like going shopping this weekend?" I didn't want to say too much, in case Edward heard me. I wanted to surprise _him_ a little for a change.

"_Sure, I'm always up for some shopping,"_ Angela agreed. _"Anything special you're on the hunt for?"_

"Yes, but I'll tell you on Saturday," I hedged. "Pick you up at ten?"

"_Sounds like a plan." _

"OK, see you then."

I hung up the phone and went back downstairs, where Edward had turned the TV on to a basketball game.

"You'll be OK on your own for a while on Saturday, right?" I asked as I sat down next to him again after having put Masen down in his bouncer; he loved it and could keep himself occupied for a long time with the little animals dangling from the toy bar.

"Sure, why?"

"I'm going shopping with Angela," I replied, hoping he wouldn't ask anything more. I always sucked at lying.

"OK, not a problem," he said, shrugging. "Are you taking Lily with you?"

"I wasn't going to." PG-13 shopping here! "But I can drop her off at Catie's if you want to be able to focus on Emma and Masen."

"No, no, it's fine. She loves helping out, I was just thinking that she'd want to go with you."

I felt a little guilty, because Lily _did_ love shopping. It didn't matter that she'd just been to the mall today with Edward and Alice, she'd still want to go with me and Angela on Saturday.

"Maybe I'll take a trip to the mall with her on Sunday," I suggested. "Angela wanted to look at some things that I don't think are suitable for Lily."

"Ah, I get it."

It was a good thing his attention was focused on the TV, otherwise he would have noticed me blush.

xxxxx

I picked up Angela at ten o'clock on the dot on Saturday morning.

"Sooo…" she started as soon as she had gotten into the car, "are you going to tell me what the big secret is?"

"Sorry," I replied, pulling into the street. "I didn't want Edward to overhear anything."

"I figured as much. What didn't you want him to overhear?"

"He's made reservations at The Marriott next weekend," I explained. "A birthday present. And I thought I'd get him something in return…"

I could tell exactly when she realized what I meant, because a slightly wicked smile appeared on her face,

"I see. And I'm guessing this… something will be for both of you, really?"

I could feel myself blush, and focused on the road ahead.

"Pretty much," I mumbled.

"OK, I get the picture."

She wagged her eyebrows suggestively, but didn't say anything else.

We went to Northgate, which was both close by and had what I was looking for. When we entered the mall, I headed straight for Victoria's Secret before I had a chance to chicken out. Shopping for sexy lingerie wasn't my strongest point normally – and especially not right now – and if I let myself think about it too much, I knew I'd come up with a reason why I shouldn't get anything.

"What are we talking?" Angela asked, sounding very businesslike, when we were in the store.

"I'm not completely sure…" I replied, surveying the racks and racks of bras, panties, slips and babydolls. Suddenly, I felt completely out of my element, and wasn't sure I would be able to look at myself when I was wearing something from this store. I still slept in one of my maternity t-shirts, and I had tried very hard to avoid mirrors in the past two months. "This is kind of nice." I held up a dark blue, satin slip with lace at the bottom. At least it wouldn't show off my stomach. Over the past week or so, I had tried not to let my mind wander to the possibility that the fact that Edward wasn't bothered by us not having sex might have something to do with me… now those fears came back, seeming to want to make up for the time when I had managed to suppress them.

"It's OK," Angela admitted, holding up a light purple, completely see-through babydoll. "But I think you need something more along the lines of this, only in blue."

"Nothing see-through," I told her, shaking my head. Maybe I had made a mistake when I had thought that she wouldn't force me to put on something that I felt uncomfortable wearing…

"And why not?" she asked. "I thought we were going for seductive here."

"We are. But something like that might have the opposite effect."

She stared at me for a moment, eyebrows raised.

"What are you talking about?"

"I just don't want to expose certain… areas, that might not have returned to their 'pre twins' state yet," I explained, gesturing vaguely to my abdomen.

"Seriously?" She had an incredulous look on her face. I just shrugged and looked away from the garment in her hand. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"I'll try this on." I ignored her and went into the changing rooms, taking my clothes off with my back to the mirror.

"Is the size OK?" Angela asked from the other side of the door after a few minutes.

"Yeah," I called back. It was actually a little big, but that was good, since that meant it wouldn't cling to my body.

"Let me see," she ordered, and I opened the door. She scrutinized me for a moment. "I still think you need something a little sexier." She held up another babydoll, as see-through as the first but the same color as the one I was wearing, in one hand and a pair of deep blue, lace thongs and a matching bra in the other.

"I can't wear that," I said, biting my lip.

"And why not?" she repeated.

"I just can't."

She pushed me back into the changing room and followed, closing the door behind us.

"Take that off." She pointed to the slip I was wearing, and I obediently pulled it off and put it back on the hanger. "Now turn around."

"Why?" I retorted, crossing my arms over my stomach.

"I am going to show you exactly why I think you should get these." She shook the hangers with the clothes she had picked out in front of me.

Reluctantly, I turned around, my arms still covering my stomach. Angela sighed, hung the clothes she was carrying on one of the hooks and then pulled my arms behind my back.

"If you think you have any 'areas' you need to hide, you're wrong," she said softly. "Have you even looked at yourself since the twins were born?"

"No," I admitted, looking at the strange body in the mirror. That couldn't be me, could it? It looked almost… normal, like it had before I got pregnant. I knew it would never look the way it had before I'd had Lily, and that had never bothered me, but I didn't look much different now either.

I could see Angela shaking her head behind me.

"You look amazing," she told me. "If someone had told me you had twins less than three months ago, I would never believe them. Now try these on!"

She slipped out of the changing room, and I hesitantly put on the bra she had picked out and then pulled the babydoll over my head. No need to try the panties on, they were the right size and color. I again looked in the mirror, almost shocked at the woman looking back at me. She was… hot, there was no other word for it. I still couldn't think that _I_ was hot, couldn't quite connect the image in the mirror with my own body, but maybe I would get there. Hopefully before next Saturday.

"I told you," Angela's smug voice came from behind me, and I saw her standing on her tip-toes so she could see over the top of the door.

"Fine, you were right," I admitted happily.

"Aren't I always?" She gave me a quick smile and then disappeared.

I turned back to the mirror one more time, scrutinizing my reflection. I couldn't help but smile at myself as I pulled the babydoll back off. Edward wouldn't know what hit him.

**AN: I hope I didn't make any enemies with my comment about dog names. I just don't like it when animals have what I consider distinctly 'human' names. If anyone was offended, it was never my intention.**


	29. 29 A Little Privacy

**AN: Another update for you guys – some much needed privacy for our favorite couple, hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Just borrowing, as always. **

**29 – A Little Privacy**

**Bella**

I managed to pay for my… outfit without having to meet the sales clerk's eyes once. When we left the store, I saw Angela give me an amused look.

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

"I just think it's a little funny that you can be embarrassed about buying sexy lingerie at Victoria's Secret," she replied. "I mean, that's what it's there for!"

I just glared at her.

"Do you want to go anywhere else?" she asked, seemingly indifferent to my evil look.

"Maybe Macy's," I suggested. I had avoided shopping for clothes since the twins had been born, and usually wore sweats around the house. Now that I had been forced to look at myself, however, I actually liked the idea of buying some new clothes.

"OK," Angela agreed, turning in the direction of the store.

We spent an hour picking out and trying on different outfits, and I ended up buying a new pair of jeans, three tops and a dress that Angela insisted I should wear on Saturday night.

"You'll be having dinner at the hotel," she pointed out. "Don't you want to look nice?"

I had actually been hoping that dinner would consist of room service, but I didn't mention that. It would be nice to get dressed up for once, it had been a really long time since I did. I decided to make sure that I would get to do just that; Edward hadn't said anything about going out for dinner, and I didn't think he had thought about that, so I would make a reservation at Anthony's.

"It is really nice," I said, fingering the soft material. "And it was on sale."

"There you go."

"Do you want to go anywhere else before we leave?" I wondered, stopping outside the entrance to the store and looking around me. I didn't need to go anywhere else, and we had already been here for over two hours.

"No, that's OK," she replied. "But do you mind stopping by the pharmacy on the way back?"

"Sure, no problem." We started walking in the direction of the parking lot. "What do you need to get?"

"A pregnancy test."

I stopped dead in my tracks at her words.

"Seriously?"

"Of course I'm serious." She looked at me, eyebrows raised.

"You're pregnant?"

"Well, that's what I'm going to find out," she said slowly, each word pronounced carefully, as if she was talking to someone who couldn't hear very well.

"Oh, this is so exciting!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around her, bags and all. I had thought that maybe she and Ben had changed their minds, since she hadn't mentioned it again after Ben's promotion in May.

"Hold your horses." She laughed. "I'm not even sure. We only just started trying a couple of weeks ago, and I'm only a few days late, but I thought I might as well take a test to know for sure."

"That's a good idea," I agreed, regaining the function in my legs again and pulling her along out of the mall. "If you don't, you just get stressed out."

"Exactly."

We got into the car and I pulled out of the parking lot, heading for the closest pharmacy.

"Is Ben at home?" I asked when she had paid for the test and we were back in the car.

"No, he's in Forks this weekend, his parents are renovating the bathroom and they needed some help," Angela replied. "I haven't said anything to him. I know he would just be disappointed if it turns out to be nothing, so I thought I'd take the test first."

"I know what you mean."

We drove in silence for a while, until I pulled into the parking lot at Angela's building.

"Do you mind if I wait while you take the test?" I asked excitedly when I had pulled into an open parking space. Angela laughed.

"Will you leave if I tell you to?" she retorted.

"Nope." I turned off the engine.

"That's what I thought. Come on."

I followed her into the building and to the elevator.

"I'm actually glad that you're here," she said after a moment, squeezing my arm. "I'm a little nervous, and you're always good when it comes to moral support."

"It'll be fine," I assured her. "If it's negative, you can just try again."

"I know."

The elevator stopped with a 'ding' and we got in. The ride up was silent.

"I'll just go… do whatever," Angela said when I closed the front door behind us. "Be right back."

She disappeared into the bathroom, and I went into the living room and sat down on the couch. After a minute, she came into the room with the little plastic stick in her hand.

"And now we wait," I said, giving her an encouraging smile. She smiled back, a little weakly, and sat down next to me.

"So, what do you want for your birthday?" she asked after a moment. Probably just to break the tense silence that had filled the room and keep her mind busy from wandering away with her.

"As always; nothing. Just come to the party Alice insists on throwing on Saturday." I thought of something. "But I guess I'll get out of that early; we can check in to the hotel room after four, so we'll probably leave a little before that."

"An entire night to yourselves, whatever will you do?" Angela wondered, winking at me.

"Hopefully more than sleep," I replied. "I've been going a little crazy lately, but Edward doesn't seem to be bothered at all."

"He's probably just good at hiding it," she suggested.

"Maybe." I shrugged. "Aren't guys the ones who are supposed to get sexually frustrated?"

She laughed at that.

"Well, we do want equality between women and men, maybe we have to take some bad stuff with the good," she joked.

"Good point," I agreed, glancing at my watch. "Time's up."

She took a deep breath and picked up the test. I could see the result on her face, where a disappointed expression appeared almost instantly.

"It's OK," I mumbled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I'm sure it'll work next time."

"I know." She nodded, smiling woefully. "I didn't really expect it to happen right away, but I thought that maybe…"

"Come on," I said, getting up and pulling her with me. "Let's go back to our place; Edward's making his pasta for lunch and we have Chocolate Fudge Brownie in the freezer."

Angela laughed.

"I think that's just what I need."

**Edward**

"Will you keep an eye on the twins while I start lunch?" I asked Lily, who was watching TV in the living room. The twins were in their bouncers on the floor.

"OK," she immediately replied, turning the TV off and sitting down on the floor between them. She loved feeling like she was in charge of watching them, even if we were only in the next room. She wasn't old enough to watch them on her own, of course, but giving her a little responsibility couldn't hurt. I brought the baby monitor with me, just in case, so I could keep an 'eye' on them.

The pasta had just started boiling when the front door opened.

"Hello?" I heard Bella call, and then the door closed.

"Kitchen," I called back, stirring the sauce.

"Hey."

I turned around and found her in the doorway, a smile on her face.

"Hey," I replied, noticing that she had a Macy's bag in her hand. "Did you have a good shopping trip with Angela? Buy anything nice?"

"I did." She put the bag down on one of the chairs and wrapped her arms around me, burying her face against my neck. I pulled her closer, the strawberry scent of her shampoo invading my senses. "I invited Angela for lunch, I hope that's OK. Ben's in Forks, and she needs a little girl-time," she mumbled in my ear.

"Of course." I didn't ask what had brought on the need for 'girl-time'.

She pulled back and gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher.

"I'll just go put this away." She picked up the bag and dangled it in front of me. "And then I'm going to get reacquainted with my old friend the bathroom scale."

"Really?" I asked, a little amused. I had been telling her that she had lost all the weight she had put on during the pregnancy for days, but she refused to believe me. I was glad that, apparently, Angela had made her see the light.

She disappeared out of the room and I started setting the table while keeping an eye on the food on the stove. When it was done, I poured the pasta into one bowl and the sauce into another and then left the kitchen.

Lily had returned to the couch and her show, Masen was still in his bouncer, happily swatting at the animals dangling above him, and Angela was sitting in one of the armchairs with Emma. She looked up when I came into the room.

"She looked about to deliver one hell of a tantrum, so I thought I'd intervene," she explained.

Emma had become more… expressive over the past couple of weeks, and would now let us know when she wasn't happy about something. She seemed to like the bouncer, but she would complain if she was left in it with nobody close by. Unlike Masen, however, it didn't seem like it was physical contact she wanted, because most of the time, it was enough if you just talked to her a little. She was the one who seemed to respond the most to our voices, always turning when either Bella or I spoke in her vicinity. She had also started making other noises than just crying; different cooing sounds whenever you talked to her, something that Masen seemed to have started picking up in just the last few days.

"Were you now?" I crouched down next to the armchair, and Emma turned her blue eyes to me and a big smile appeared on her face. I still felt a wave of warm happiness in my entire body whenever she or Masen smiled at me. It made the entire miracle that they were all the more obvious. "I think we might have to watch out for your temper in a few years, it seems like you've inherited your mother's."

"_I_ have a temper?" I glanced over my shoulder to find Bella a few feet behind, arms crossed over her chest but, to my relief, an amused smile on her face. "Who's the one who's barely civil before he gets coffee in the morning?"

She did have a point.

"Let's just hope she hasn't gotten my morning mood too." I half expected her to argue, but she just shook her head.

"Turn the TV off and go wash your hands, Lily, lunch is ready," she said instead.

"Do you want me to put her back in the bouncer while we eat?" Angela wondered, standing up.

"Yeah, but bring her into the kitchen," I replied, picking up Masen in his bouncer. "Or we won't get to eat in peace."

As it turned out, we didn't anyway. I had just taken the first bite of food when I heard the first tell-tale signs that Masen was about to start crying. He always made these little, whining sounds before a full-blown wail started.

"Diaper change," Bella deduced before he got started.

"I'll get it," I said, getting up and picking him up out of the bouncer just as his face scrunched up, preparing for the cry. "Be right back."

I climbed the stairs and entered the nursery, where I put him down on the changing table. To my surprise, he didn't complain – he always did, he hated the changing table – but just stared up at me, his little fists flailing.

"Decided to be a grown-up about this at last, have you?" I asked, and he smiled. "A big boy?"

"Ah!"

I took that as a 'yes'.

I finished changing him and went back downstairs, putting him back in his bouncer and sitting back down at the table. I hadn't finished my third bite when Emma started crying instead. I put down my fork and was about to get up, but Bella beat me to it.

"I'm done, you eat." She picked Emma up and left the room, and I sighed.

The wonder of having two babies in the house.

xxxxx

"I thought _you_ were the one throwing the party?" I grumbled at noon on Saturday, when I had finished blowing up the last of the five dozen balloons Alice had brought. "Doesn't that mean you're supposed to do this?"

"I'm _in charge_," she corrected me, taking the balloon from me. "That means I get to boss you around."

"I thought that came with the whole twin thing," I muttered, and she shot me a dazzling smile.

"That, too."

"Well, you're going to have to get by on your own for a while now, because I'm going to pick up the cake," I said resolutely. Alice had ordered Bella out of the house so that she – meaning _me_, as it turned out – could decorate the living room for the party. Bella had taken Lily and the twins with her to Emmett and Rosalie's, and I was starting to wish that I had managed to escape with them. Alice could be a real slave driver when she put her mind to it.

"Fine, go, Jasper will be here soon, anyway." She brushed me off with a wave of her hand, and I gratefully hurried out of the house before she had the chance to change her mind.

I loved my sister – really, I did – but she had a tendency to go just a little bit overboard when it came to things like parties. A cake, friends and family and some presents just weren't enough for her, whether it was her birthday or someone else's. There had to be balloons, and streamers, and a bunch of other decorations that were completely pointless to anyone else. And a strictly organized table for presents, and preferably party games. But when it came to the last part, she usually gave in to Bella's dislike of them.

I had, however, realized a long time ago that it was easier to just give in to her and let her have her way. Alice could also be very stubborn when she put her mind to it.

I got in the car and tried to remember that it would all be over soon. Hopefully, by the time I got back to the house, our parents and Charlie and Sue would have gotten there and could help with some of Alice's frighteningly hyper instructions. And Bella and I were leaving at four, so we would soon be by ourselves at the hotel.

I looked forward to our night away with excitement mixed with dread. I was of course eager to get Bella all to myself for twenty hours straight, without any interruptions, but at the same time, it was the first time that we would both be away from home at the same time since the twins had been born. I knew that they would be fine with my parents and Charlie and Sue, but it was still a little… nerve wrecking to think about it. So I tried not to focus on that aspect, and keep thinking about me and Bella, alone in a hotel room for an entire night…

But not yet. I had to pick up the cake and get through Alice's party first.

**Bella**

Alice had told me – ordered, pretty much – to stay out of the house until everything was set up. She had wanted to throw me a surprise party, but Edward had managed to dissuade her, which I was grateful for. But she still insisted that I not get a look at all her decorations before everything was done.

When she finally called and told me I could come back to the house, it was a little after one in the afternoon. I was secretly glad that the preparations had apparently taken longer than she had anticipated, because that meant that I would only have to put up with three hours of pretending to enjoy myself so as not to make Alice feel bad before Edward and I left for the hotel, and the birthday present I was _really _looking forward to.

We walked the two blocks back to our house; the weather was still summery, with temperatures that were lingering in the low seventies. I saw that Carlisle, Esme, Charlie and Sue had arrived, because the Mercedes was parked in the driveway. When we got inside, it became apparent that we were the last to arrive; Ben, Angela, Jacob and Vanessa were already in the living room with the others.

"Happy birthday!" Jake boomed as soon as I appeared in the room, scooping me up in one of his bear hugs. "I was all for getting you a cane – you are practically middle age now, you know – but Nessie managed to persuade me not to."

"Thank you!" I said fervently as he released me and I gave Vanessa a hug as well. "I'm not quite that old yet."

"He's just teasing you," she assured me.

"I know." I shot him a glare, but he just smirked at me. "Just remember that you're closer to thirty than twenty now, too."

"I don't obsess over my age," he replied, shrugging. "Only girls do that."

"He does," Vanessa stage whispered. "You should have seen him last year."

I remembered.

"I know, he's not as indifferent as he…" I cut myself off; I had just spotted something sparkling on Vanessa's left hand. "Oh my God!" I exclaimed, grabbing her hand. "When did you…?"

"Just the other day," Vanessa told me, blushing. "We didn't want to ruin your birthday party."

"You could never do that!" I had known that this was coming; I had helped Jake pick out the ring a couple of weeks ago. But he had said that he was going to wait until they went up to Forks for Halloween; they had met on Halloween two years ago. I reached up so I could smack him over the head. "You liar!"

"Sorry," he apologized with a grin. "It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, really."

Alice, Rosalie and Angela had gathered around Vanessa, admiring the ring. I enveloped Jacob in another hug.

"I'm so happy for you guys," I mumbled in his ear, feeling tears rise in my eyes. Finally, all of my friends had found love.

"Don't get all teary eyed on me now," he complained. "This is a birthday party, after all. And yours, you know, so you can't be crying."

Before I had the chance of replying, Alice got to me, pushing me down on the couch and putting a wrapped package in my hands. After that, I didn't get a minute to myself between opening presents, eating cake and keeping my friends and family entertained. Before I knew it, it was four o'clock and Edward interrupted my conversation with Esme and Sue.

"Maybe we should get going?" he suggested, looking torn at the idea.

"OK," I happily agreed. I was looking forward to our night away, but I understood his hesitation. I had never left Lily overnight when she was a baby; the first time I hadn't slept in the same house as her had been when she was three, and Angela had insisted that I needed a 'girl's weekend'. Jake and Ben had stayed with Lily at my place, and I remembered that I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep all night. But she'd had a great time with her uncles, and I knew that the twins would be fine with Edward's parents and my dad and Sue.

We had already packed and put our bags in the car earlier, so all we had to do was say goodbye and then go. It took even longer than I had thought; I had expected Edward to stall, but not as much as he actually did. But, eventually, I managed to drag him out the door and into the car. He took one last, long look at the house, and then pulled out of the driveway.

**Edward**

I glanced at the clock on the wall and winced when I saw that it was already a little after four. The entire afternoon had just flown by, and though I was really looking forward to tonight, I really didn't want to leave. Quite the dilemma.

_They'll be fine_, a little voice said inside me. _You're being overprotective and just a little bit obsessive._

I knew that. I did.

I scanned the living room, finding Bella in a corner, talking to Esme and Sue. I made my way over, deciding that it was probably better to just get it over with. Like ripping a band-aid off. Quick and painless.

"Maybe we should get going?" I said when Bella looked up at me.

"OK." She nodded, a smile on her face. I was a little jealous of how easy this seemed to her. She had tried to explain, saying that she had already done the whole 'leaving for the first time' thing when Lily had been a baby, and that she knew everything would be fine.

I lingered for as long as I could in the house, pretending to have misplaced first my cell phone, then the car keys, but after half an hour, Bella resolutely pulled me out of the house – almost literally – and held the car door open for me. I stared at the house for a long moment, and then I started the car and pulled into the street.

Within seconds, my hand started twitching towards the cell phone that was in my pocket.

"No," Bella said quietly, but sternly, next to me.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly, so as not to be tempted, and soon we were at the hotel. I continued to let Bella take the lead, following behind her into the building and up to the reception, where she got the key to our room, and then to the elevators.

"How're you doing?" she asked when the elevator doors closed around us and we started zooming upwards.

"OK," I replied, shrugging.

"I know how you feel," she told me, wrapping an arm around my waist and leaning her head against my shoulder. "I know that it's hard, but they will be fine."

"I know." I sighed and hugged her back. "Can't I call, though? Just to make sure. It would make me feel better."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "We've only barely been gone for fourty minutes yet; we can't call every half-hour the entire night."

"I know that," I admitted.

"Come on, let's just focus on you and me tonight." As she spoke, she turned her head so that I could feel her breath against my neck. "Who knows when we'll get another opportunity to have a night all to ourselves?"

Her lips brushed my jaw line, and when they met mine, everything else melted away. There was just her and me and nothing else.

My body reacted to hers in an almost automatic way; I pulled her closer, taking a few steps forward so I could press her against the wall.

We were interrupted by the elevator doors opening, revealing an older couple who seemed more than a little surprised to discover us locked in an embrace.

Bella seized my hand in one of hers and her suitcase in the other and pulled me out of the elevator – I managed to grab my bag at the last minute – giggling when the doors closed around the couple. I quickly pulled her to a stop and reclaimed her lips, crushing her body against mine. She responded immediately, and within seconds, we were both breathing heavily.

"There is a perfectly good hotel room just a few feet away," she pointed out when we pulled apart for air. "I think the other hotel guests would appreciate it if we took this somewhere more private."

I had to agree with her, and followed her down the hallway, waiting impatiently as she unlocked the door to our room. Once inside, however, she slipped away from me and pushed me in the direction of what must be the bathroom.

"Take a shower," she ordered. "You are taking me out to dinner."

She hadn't released my hand, and now I pulled her with me into the bathroom.

"It's a big shower," I pointed out, unbuttoning the top button in her top. "We'd both fit."

"The only problem with that scenario," she said, taking a step away from me, "is that we won't make it out of this room tonight."

"I don't see the problem with that," I objected, and she laughed.

"I'm sure you don't." With that, she left the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

I sighed, then turned the water on in the shower and took my shirt off. When I got to the jeans, however, I realized that I still had the cell phone in my pocket.

Bella wouldn't know if I called, just once. She wouldn't be able to hear it over the running water.

I quickly hit speed dial one and waited for someone to pick up.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Alice."

"_Why am I not surprised?"_ she wondered exasperatedly.

"Just wanted to see how you're doing."

"_They're fine. You've only been gone forty-five minutes, what could you possibly have thought would happen in that time?"_

"I know, I just wanted to…"

"_I'm going to hang up now,"_ she interrupted me. _"And you are going to enjoy having your wife all to yourself for an entire night, OK?"_

Somehow, she made it sound like an order.

"I will, can I just talk to Esme real quick, I just…"

"_Goodbye, Edward."_

And she hung up. I stared at the phone in my hand for a moment, then sighed and put it down on the counter by the sink. It wouldn't do any good to call again; Alice wouldn't pick up, and I was sure that she wouldn't let anyone else, either.

I hastily removed the rest of my clothes and took a quick shower; Bella would get suspicious if I wasn't finished in here soon. Then I wrapped a towel around my waist and left the bathroom; one last attempt at getting her to stay in the room tonight.

She had already changed, and was wearing a chiffon dress in a deep, blue color; my favorite on her. She was standing in front of the mirror with her back to me, putting on a pair of earrings.

"New dress?" I wondered, stopping close behind her.

"You like?" She met my eyes in the mirror, one eyebrow raised.

"It's beautiful." I pulled her hair away and gave her one, feather light kiss just behind the ear. "But I think it would look even better off."

She laughed and slipped away from me.

"Nice try." She stopped in the door to the bathroom, giving me a glance over her shoulder. "Get dressed, I'm just going to put on a few finishing touches and then we're leaving."

"You're really set on going out for dinner, aren't you?" I asked, sounding only – I hoped – a little disappointed. I resigned to her determination and started getting dressed.

"We haven't done this in a really long time, so yes," she replied from behind the closed bathroom door. "Aren't you?"

I resisted the urge to say that I was looking forward to what came _after_ dinner more, thinking that that might seriously diminish the chances of _anything_ happening after dinner. And she did have a point. We hadn't been out to dinner just the two of us in months, and this was her birthday present. She deserved to be spoiled a little.

"Of course I am."

I heard her laugh, and knew I hadn't fooled her completely.

"So, where do you want to go?" I fiddled with the tie; I had never completely gotten the hang of those things.

"Anthony's," her voice came from right behind me. "Let me do that."

I turned around and she quickly fixed the tie, then took a step back to give me the once over.

"What do you know, you clean up pretty nicely," she said with a smirk.

"I could say the same for you," I replied. "You look amazing."

"Thank you." She flashed me a genuine smile.

"But Anthony's might be booked up, you know," I pointed out. It was a very popular restaurant, and it was Saturday night.

"Not a problem, we have a reservation at six." When I raised my eyebrows at that, she continued innocently, "I couldn't count on you thinking of everything, could I?"

I just sighed and shook my head.

"Let's go."

The restaurant did turn out to be almost full, but we were given a table overlooking the harbor.

"I really should have thought of this," I said as we looked at the menus. This was one of her favorite restaurants in the city, and it was practically next door to the hotel.

"I'm just glad you thought of staying at a hotel," she replied. "I honestly wasn't expecting anything like this, at least not this year."

"It was actually Alice's idea," I admitted, a little reluctantly. "I mean, I probably would have thought of it, but I don't think I'd have done anything about it if she hadn't suggested it and pushed me a little."

Instead of looking disappointed, Bella gave me an understanding smile.

"That's pretty much what I figured," she told me. "But I think that, at least in this case, it's not the thought, but the end result that counts."

It was a relief to hear that she thought that.

"Would you like to order drinks?"

We both looked up at the waiter who had asked the question.

"I'd like one glass of white wine, and then water," Bella told him.

"I'll have the same."

"Alright, I'll be right back with that, and you can have another minute to decide what you want to eat."

"Mmm, wine," Bella said with a wistful look on her face when he had left. "I haven't had wine since Mexico."

I laughed a little.

"Then why just one glass?" I wondered.

"I don't want to risk the alcohol not being out of my system tomorrow," she explained, studying the menu. "I doubt another glass would make much of a difference, but I still don't want to take the chance."

Of course, I should have thought of that.

The waiter soon returned with our drinks and took our orders at the same time. When he had left again, I glanced at my watch.

"I'll be right back, just need to use the restrooms," I told Bella, standing up.

"OK," she replied, taking a sip of the wine. "Just give me your cell first."

"What?" I stared at her for a moment and she gave me an innocent smile. "Why?"

"Because I know you, and you are going to call the house," she explained. "And, like I said, we're not going to call every half hour, so give me your phone."

I glared at her, but handed over my cell.

"And if you're gone for longer than ten minutes, I'll come looking for you," she threatened as I turned to leave. "So don't even think about going outside to use a payphone."

I couldn't help but smile as I walked through the restaurant in the direction of the restrooms. Sometimes it was a little frightening how well she knew me.

I was back at the table after less than five minutes; I hadn't really needed to use the restrooms, but I hadn't wanted to give her the satisfaction of admitting that, so I had spent a few minutes washing my hands.

"Are you going to stick to your 'no phone calls' policy until we get home tomorrow?" I wondered dryly as I sat back down.

"No, I'm not," she replied lightly. "I thought we could call when we get back to the hotel, to say goodnight to Lily and make sure everything's under control."

"And that's it? I can't call again after that?"

"Well…" she started, looking up at me through her lashes, "I was actually hoping that you would be… too distracted to think about calling after that."

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly very dry.

"Were you now?"

She just smiled and nodded.

"Well, if that was your plan, how come we had to leave the room in the first place?"

The waiter appeared with our food just as I finished speaking, and Bella didn't answer right away. When he was gone, she gave me a look that, had we not been in public, would have had entirely different consequences…

"I'm a respectable girl," she finally said. "You have to take me out to dinner before you can take me to bed."

"Oh, really?"

"Uh-huh."

She picked up her fork and knife and started eating, seemingly completely indifferent to the fact that what I really wanted to do right now was throw her over my shoulder and run back to the hotel. I had no choice but to do the same myself.

I ate fast, wanting to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible, but she was not cooperating. She lingered on the starter, took almost an hour on the main course, and then insisted that we have dessert as well. When I had finally paid the bill, it was a little after eight thirty, and I was getting _very_ impatient.

When I all but dragged her out of the restaurant, she gave me back my cell.

"Why don't we call on the way?" she suggested innocently.

I hit the speed dial, and Esme answered after a moment.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi mom, how's everything going?" As I spoke, Bella pulled me along and started walking slowly back towards the hotel.

"_Everything is under control, don't you worry,"_ Esme told me. _"Emma and Masen just ate, and Emma fell asleep almost right away. Your father's trying to get Masen to go to sleep as well, but he doesn't seem to be having much luck."_

I listened hard, but couldn't hear Masen crying in the background, so I assumed he just didn't want to go to sleep.

"Try one of the rocking chairs, that usually does the trick," I said, and heard Esme repeat my instructions to Carlisle.

"_Are you enjoying yourself?"_ she asked, coming back to the phone. _"Did you go out for dinner?"_

"We did," I replied. "Bella had made reservations at Anthony's, and we're just on our way back to the hotel now."

"_Oh, I love that restaurant."_

"Is Lily there? We wanted to say goodnight to her before she went to bed." I hoped Lily wouldn't think it was odd that we called half an hour before her bedtime; I really didn't know what to say if she asked about it.

"_She's watching a movie, hang on, I'll get her."_

I waited for a moment, and then Lily's voice came over the line.

"_Hi dad!"_

"Hi princess. Are you having a good time with your grandparents and aunt Sue?"

"_Uh-huh. We're watching The Jungle Book."_

I could tell that there was no point in trying to drag the conversation out; it was very difficult to keep her from the television when she was watching one of her favorite movies.

"I just wanted to say goodnight before you go to bed," I told her.

"_OK, night dad."_

"Hang on!" I said quickly, as Bella held her hand out for the phone. "Don't you want to say goodnight to your mom too?"

_"OK."_

I handed the phone to Bella and then held the door to the hotel open for her.

"Hi sweetie, are you holding down the fort at home? Making sure your grandparents and aunt Sue know what they're doing… great… oh, I see, well, you go back to your movie, and sleep tight, OK… yes, we're coming back tomorrow… OK, sweet dreams baby… bye."

She ended the call before handing the phone back to me, and I put it in my pocket. I had actually wanted to talk to Esme some more, but I had a feeling Bella would confiscate my phone again if I tried to make another call.

"Now…" she started, pulling me along to the elevators. A group of business men were just leaving one when we got there, and we slipped in after they were gone. The doors slowly closed around us and Bella immediately pulled me down for a long, languid kiss. When she pulled away, she looked up at me with questioning eyes. "Do you think you'll be able to relax?"

It took me a moment to even realize what she was talking about, and I immediately felt guilty. But this was _our_ night, _our_ time alone together. I was _supposed_ to focus on just her and me, right? The twins were fine with my parents and Charlie and Sue, and we would be back home soon enough.

"I think I'll be OK," I replied, pulling her closer. "As long as you keep… distracting me."

I could feel her smile against the skin on my neck.

"I think I might be able to do that."

I pulled her lips back up to mine and took a couple of steps until she was pressed against the wall. Her lips were willing and eager against mine, and I let one hand wander up her back to tangle in her hair, holding her to me. The other I let trail, slowly, down her side. The dress was too long for me to be able to reach the hem, but I traced the contour of her thigh through the thin material.

The ride didn't even take a minute, but by the time the little 'ding' announced that the elevator had reached its destination, we were both breathing hard. My mind was completely focused on her; her body against mine, her soft, warm lips, her eyes, staring into mine with the same want and desire I knew must be in mine. Somehow, though, I managed to register the fact that we were still in the elevator, and pulled her out of it, down the hallway and into our room. As soon as the door closed behind us, I pulled her to me again, finding her lips. Her arms wrapped around my neck, she pushed herself even closer, and I pressed one hand against the small of her back, keeping her there, while my other hand started working on the zipper in her dress. I managed to get it all the way down, but the dress still stayed in place. My dazed mind realized that there must be some sort of button or something at the top, and I started tugging at it.

And she pulled away from me.

I felt my eyes widen into a confused expression and was about to ask what was wrong when she slipped around me.

"I'll be right back."

I turned in time to see the bathroom door close behind her. What the…?

I ran a hand over my face, trying to pull my thoughts back together. I could feel my heart beating much too fast, and my breath coming in quick, shallow gasps. I sat down on the foot of the bed, staring at the door that now separated us and wondering what on earth she was up to.

I didn't have to wait very long; after only a minute or so, the door opened again. And all I could do was stare.

**AN: I hope you liked the chapter! Let me know if you want me to pick up where I left off… I'm evil, I know!**


	30. 30 Syrup isn't Just for Pancakes

**AN: What you've (hopefully) all been waiting for – the big night. Let me know what you think, 496 reviews right now, please, please, please help me get past 500! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own them. Never have, never will. **

**30 – Syrup isn't Just for Pancakes…**

**Bella**

I have no idea how I did it, but somehow I managed to pull away from Edward's very nice kisses.

"I'll be right back," I said breathlessly, closing the bathroom door behind me before he followed me into the room; I only had a certain amount of self control!

I had stashed the bag with my Victoria's Secret's outfit in the bathroom earlier, and now I quickly took off the dress I was wearing and changed into the new bra and panties before pulling the babydoll on as well. I checked my reflection quickly – everything looked good – then took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door again.

Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking more than a little confused. When he saw me in the doorway, his mouth fell open and he just stared at me. He didn't look disappointed – not at all – but when he hadn't said anything for an entire minute, I started nervously fidgeting with the hem of the babydoll. The little, persistent voice in my head that had been trying to convince me that this outfit was a very bad idea suddenly got very loud.

"Do I look OK?" I asked self consciously, not able to stand the silence any longer.

He cleared his throat before answering.

"OK? To say that you look OK would be…" he struggled for words for a moment "… it would be almost criminal."

"Really?" Even though I felt sexy in the lingerie and babydoll, it was a relief to hear him say that.

"Really." He got up off the bed and slowly walked across the room to me, stopping a foot or so away. With his index finger, he traced a line from my temple, down my cheek and neck, following the neckband of the babydoll and then up the same way on the other side to finally twist a strand of my hair around his finger. "You're so beautiful," he mumbled, taking one last step closer and kissing me.

The fervent, demanding kisses from the elevator were gone. His lips were soft, almost hesitant, against mine. The hand that was already tangled in my hair cupped my neck, pulling me closer, and with the other, he caressed the skin on my arm. I felt a shiver run through my entire body, and pressed myself against him, my arms coming up, as if of their own accord, to wrap around his neck. With a sigh, he deepened the kiss.

All the urgency seemed to have run off him, and just like me he appeared to be simply relishing in the feeling of finally, after so long, being together without anything hanging over us. When his lips left mine and trailed down my neck to the hollow above my collar bone, I let my head fall back and released all control of the situation to him. I wouldn't be able to resist anything, no matter what he did.

For the moment, he seemed to be satisfied with taking his time. He had wrapped his arms around my waist, and that was a good thing, since it only took a few moments of his lips against the skin on my neck for me to be completely limp in his arms. I would have ended up in a pile on the floor if he hadn't been holding me up.

After a long time – or maybe just a few minutes, I wasn't sure – he swept one arm under my knees and picked me up like I weighed ten pounds and not a hundred and ten. His lips came up to mine again as he slowly crossed the room. I felt the soft coverlet under me when he carefully laid me down on the bed.

He didn't follow me, and my arms, which had been wrapped around his neck, fell limply to the bed. He just stood there for a moment, staring down at me. When I couldn't take not feeling his body against mine any longer, I reached out, took his hand and pulled him down on top of me. He came willingly, but lay down next to me. I moved so I was on my side as well, facing him.

With his thumb, he traced my upper lip, then my lower, once, twice… the third time, I opened my mouth and pulled his finger into it. He sucked in a ragged breath between clenched teeth and briefly closed his eyes.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he mumbled, his voice husky.

I scooted a little closer on the bed and threw my leg over his hip, pulling myself even tighter against his body.

"I think I might have a vague idea."

In response, he kissed me again, this time harder, more resolutely. I didn't complain. His hand travelled down my side, to my thigh, where he pulled the babydoll up.

"I like this," he told me, pulling away a little to look at the garment. "But I think it might get in the way."

"It's fulfilled its purpose." I pulled the babydoll over my head and threw it onto the floor behind me somewhere, and he laughed.

"Much better."

"But you still have all your clothes on," I complained, pouting.

"I guess you'll have to do something about that then, won't you." His voice was laced with suggestions and his eyes bore into mine as he spoke.

"I think I'll have to," I agreed, pushing him down on his back and moving so I was kneeling above him.

He pulled me down for a kiss, and as our tongues danced together, I started undoing the buttons in his shirt. When I had gotten the last one undone, I pulled away from his mouth and trailed kisses down his jaw, neck, chest, stomach and back up again. Over and over, covering every inch of his exposed skin with my lips. His hand tangled in my hair, not tightly, but just enough to keep me there, and I heard his breathing become more shallow and less regular. After a while, he started tugging me back up, and I willingly let him pull my lips back to his. I felt him fiddle for a moment with the clasp of my bra before it came undone, and I let it fall to the bed.

In one, swift motion, he flipped us so I was on my back and his body was pressed against mine. His hand travelled up my side and grazed the side of my breast, making me moan into his mouth. In response, his hand lingered, his thumb circling my nipple a couple of times before he gently pinched it between his fingers. It still sent a flash of heat to the centre of my being, and I instinctively pressed myself closer to him. On some level, my mind registered that where there should be skin against my legs, there was instead a soft, but still offending, fabric of some sorts.

Right. Pants.

Blindly, I fumbled for the button and zipper, and somehow managed to get them undone. I couldn't reach to get them off, however, so I pulled my leg up and tried to use my foot to push them down. I didn't get very far, and after a moment, Edward pulled away from me, chuckling a little.

"Impatient, are we?" He pinned my hands, which had been fiddling with his underwear, over my head.

I tried to give him an evil glare, but I probably didn't do a very good job, because he just laughed harder and then leaned down to kiss the skin just below my ear. He ran his hand, the one that wasn't busy holding mine in place, down my side and up again before cupping my breast. As I let my head fall back against the pillows and inhaled sharply, I felt him smile against my neck.

I completely lost track of time after that. It felt like an eternity later when his mouth left my neck and he – slowly, so slowly – started kissing and licking my collar bone, breasts, stomach… his hand released mine to be able to reach, and I entwined the fingers of one hand in his hair, the other balling into a fist around the coverlet.

My eyes were squeezed tightly shut, my breath coming in ragged gasps, my entire body sensitive to every feather light touch from his fingers, lips, tongue. When I felt him tugging my panties down, I lifted my hips to help him get them off. I heard the soft noise they made when they landed on the floor, and then all I could feel was his finger inside me, his tongue teasing the most sensitive spot…

"Oh God," I moaned, pressing myself closer to him and pulling him to me at the same time. It had been much, _much_ too long since we had been together like this.

In minutes, I could feel the flames building inside me, spreading to every single part of me, setting my entire being on fire.

"Wait," I gasped, trying to pull him up to me.

"Why?" he mumbled, kissing his way down the inside of my thigh, making me shiver.

"Want… you…"

"Soon," he promised, returning the way he came.

I wanted to tell him that I wanted him inside me when I came, that I wanted us to come together, but I just couldn't get the words out. When his tongue once again found the little nub of nerves, I felt the heat inside me explode, and wave after wave of pleasure washed over me, pulling me along into a white nothingness where the only thing that existed was me and him, together.

As I slowly came down, I felt him move; his hand caressing my side, up and down and up and down, his lips trailing soft kissed back up my stomach, chest, neck, lingering there…

When my breathing had started slowing and my heart wasn't beating quite as quickly anymore, I opened my eyes to find him hovering above me, his eyes intent on mine. When our eyes met, he leaned down, slowly, and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him there, deepening the kiss.

I felt him shift a little above me, and then he pushed all the way inside me in one slow movement. He stopped then, breaking the kiss and leaning his forehead against mine. Our breaths mingled and his hand came up to caress the side of my face. I leaned into the touch, closing my eyes.

"I love you," he whispered, almost too quietly for me to hear, in my ear.

"I love you," I mumbled back before his lips again covered mine and he started moving, slowly, as if wanting to drag the moment out as long as possible.

I let him set the pace, moving my body in time with his, clinging to him. His lips never left mine, but his hand moved continuously, caressing every inch of my skin that he could reach. I returned every single touch, one hand dancing over his back, chest, stomach, the other one entangled in his hair, holding his lips to mine.

It was overwhelming, like all my senses were overloaded. The only thing I could feel, smell, hear, see, taste was him. It felt like he was under my skin, like we had really become one, body and soul.

He slid his hand down my thigh, pulling my leg up, and I wrapped it around his waist. The new angle allowed him to go deeper, and he started moving faster, finally just giving in to the feeling of our joined bodies. I tried to show him that it was OK to just let go, pulling him even deeper, harder against me. As I felt some of his control shatter, I also felt the fire inside me begin to burn hotter, hotter again. It didn't take much to push me over the edge for a second time, and as the fireworks in my body started to subside, I felt him following me.

The arm he'd been using to support his weight gave in, he buried his face against my throat and I held him close as we both started breathing more slowly. After a moment, he made a move as to get off me, but I only wrapped my arms tighter around him.

"I'm too heavy," he mumbled in my ear, but I shook my head, refusing to let him go.

"Just a little longer."

He obliged, letting out a deep breath. "Wow."

I laughed once, a little weakly. "Tell me about it." 'Wow' really was an understatement. I didn't know if it had been more powerful because it had been a while since we'd last been together, or if my mind had just forgotten what it was like to be with him. It didn't really matter, either way. It had been absolutely amazing.

We stayed like that for a while, but soon, the air-conditioned air in the room started feeling cool against my skin and I involuntarily shivered a little.

"Hang on." Edward got up off me, exposing even more of my skin to the cool air. But he only went to the foot of the bed, where there were two blankets, and returned with one of them. He got back on the bed, pulled me closer, and spread the blanket over us. "Better?"

"Mmm-hmm." It was the most verbal answer I could produce at the moment.

I moved a little under the blanket so I could rest my head on his chest and sighed. If I wasn't careful, I knew I'd fall asleep within minutes, I was that relaxed. Not that I wasn't planning on getting some much needed – uninterrupted! – sleep tonight, but definitely not yet. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table, and was surprised that it was only a little after ten. It felt like it should be much later.

"You OK?"

"Huh?" I looked up at him. "Yeah, why?"

"Nothing. You were just so quiet, I thought maybe something was bothering you."

"I couldn't be more un-bothered right now if I was unconscious," I assured him, getting a chuckle in return. "I was actually trying not to fall asleep."

As if on cue, he yawned.

"I guess I'm not the only one."

"So let's get some sleep," he concluded.

"Oh no." I lifted myself up on one elbow so I could lean down and kiss him. "I plan on getting much more out of this night, so no sleep just yet."

He just laughed.

"We do have the room until noon tomorrow," he pointed out. "Besides, we're not sixteen anymore. I don't think I'm up for any further endeavors tonight."

I studied him through half-closed eyes as I let my hand wander down his chest and stomach under the blanket.

"You sure about that?"

I only got a groan in return before his lips were on mine and he pulled me down on top of him.

**Edward**

The first thing I became aware of was sunshine. The second was that there was something that wasn't quite the way it was supposed to be. It was too… quiet, that was it. No babies crying, no sound from the TV downstairs or from Lily making breakfast in the kitchen. And the bed didn't feel like it usually felt. It was too soft, the pillow under my head just a little too fluffy.

I opened my eyes and, slowly, my mind started putting the pieces together. We were in a hotel room. The Marriott. Last night came flooding back, and I reached one hand out for Bella.

She was curled up on her side next to me, fast asleep, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her features were completely relaxed, her lips slightly open and the corners of her mouth turned up in a small smile. Carefully, not wanting to wake her, I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and she sighed contentedly.

"Mmm… feels… nice…"

I smiled, imagining what she might be dreaming. It was very tempting to wake her, perhaps pick up where her dream left off, but I restrained myself. Instead, I glanced at my watch, and saw that it was a little before eight o'clock. I wasn't sure when we had finally succumbed to sleep last night, but it must have been close to midnight. Eight hours of undisturbed sleep; that hadn't happened in more than three months, probably longer for Bella. I knew she'd had trouble sleeping the last month or two before the twins were born, waking up at least a couple of times every night. I decided to let her sleep, at least a little longer, and order breakfast.

Quietly, I slipped out of bed, grabbed the phone off the bedside table and went into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me before calling the front desk.

"_Good morning, how may I help you?"_

"Yes, hi, I'd like to order breakfast to be brought up to our room."

"_Certainly, sir. Would you like anything in particular?"_

I wasn't sure what they offered, but I knew I was starving, and Bella probably would be too.

"A little of everything, enough for two."

"_Alright. And would you like coffee or tea? Or maybe some sort of juice?"_

"Coffee and orange juice would be good."

"_I will take care of that, sir."_

"Thank you. How long will it take?"

"_About fifteen minutes."_

"Great. You can just leave the food outside the door, don't knock or anything." I knew Bella loved waking up to the smell of freshly made coffee.

"_I will let them know."_

"Thank you."

I hung up the phone and went back into the bedroom, where Bella was still asleep. Before I crawled back into bed next to her, I checked my watch. A couple of minutes after eight, meaning the food should be here around twenty minutes past.

I propped myself up on one elbow and studied the amazing, beautiful, wonderful woman lying next to me. I loved watching her sleep, especially when she was completely relaxed like she was now.

After a moment, I realized that I hadn't even thought about calling the house while I was in the bathroom. I was sure they were up by now; Emma might have started sleeping through the night more lately, but when she did, she always woke up around seven. Masen, who still woke up once every night, would usually sleep a little longer.

I felt a little proud of myself that the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Maybe Bella was right; maybe I just needed to get past the initial fear of leaving them. In fact, now that I had done that, it suddenly seemed like a very good idea to make this a regular thing. My parents came down every other weekend or so anyway, I was sure they wouldn't mind watching the kids over night. And one weekend a month at a hotel wasn't exactly a repulsive idea. I'd had to talk to Bella about that later.

I could tell that she wasn't sleeping very deeply, because she kept twitching a little every now and then. I checked my watch again, and saw that it was almost half past eight. The food should be outside.

I pulled on one of the complimentary robes and quietly opened the door to the hallway, where I found a large, covered tray on the floor. I put the 'Do not disturb' sign on the doorknob before I picked the tray up and carried it into the room, where I set it down at the foot of the bed and lifted the lid off. The smell of pancakes, eggs and coffee filled the room.

As I had suspected, it didn't take long for the smell to wake Bella up. She stirred a little at first, not opening her eyes, but I could tell that she was awake.

"Morning." I poured coffee from the pot into the two mugs on the tray and set them both on the bedside table on my side of the bed.

"Mmm, morning," she mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Eight thirty."

"Wow." She wrapped the sheet around herself and fluffed the pillow against the headboard before leaning back against it. "I don't remember the last time I slept this late."

"Me neither." I handed her the coffee mug and she took a big gulp.

"And breakfast in bed," she then continued. "I think this might be one of the best birthday presents ever."

"I'll remember that the next time I consider booking a trip to some exotic country like Mexico," I half joked.

"No, no, I loved Mexico," she objected. "Feel free to do that any time. But right now, I think this was exactly what we needed."

"I know what you mean." I leaned in and gave her a kiss. It was meant to be a brief good morning kind of kiss, but she wrapped an arm around my neck and held me there, deepening the kiss. Not that I minded.

I reached out one hand to pull the sheet covering her out of the way – the breakfast all but forgotten – but at that moment, her stomach growled loudly, and she laughingly let go of me.

"Maybe we should eat first?" she suggested. "I mean, we have the room until noon, right? Plenty of time for that later."

I sighed, but sat back on the bed and took a sip of the coffee. She was right; we did have the room until noon.

"What would you like first?" I wondered. "Some toast?"

"And eggs." I put a spoonful of scrambled eggs and a couple of slices of toast on a plate and handed it to her. "Is everything under control at home?" she asked.

"I would assume so," I replied. "They haven't called, have they?"

She studied me intently for a moment.

"You mean you haven't called this morning?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

That seemed to surprise her, and I could understand that.

"I just thought that, since you've apparently been up for at least a little while," she said, gesturing to the tray of food, "that you would have called to check in."

I shrugged. "I think you might have been right," I admitted. "I just needed to get through actually leaving them for the first time. I mean, I've known all along, at least on a logical level, that they were fine. I just needed to get there mentally or emotionally or whatever as well. I think I have now."

She looked at me intently for a moment longer, then she smiled.

"I'm glad," she told me.

"In fact…" I started, glancing at the sheet that was the only thing covering what I knew was her completely naked body, "I was thinking that maybe we could make this into some sort of monthly thing? We both know that my parents won't mind, and we'd get some alone time every now and then."

"Staying at a hotel once a month?" She raised her eyebrows at me. "That feels very… luxurious."

"Only the best for you, my love."

"But we do have a lock on the bedroom door, you know," she pointed out with a smirk. "We don't have to stay at a hotel just to…"

"That's not what I meant," I interrupted her. "Not that I'm complaining about last night, but that's not the reason behind this weekend, and it's not why I suggested this. Not at all. And, believe me, I am not planning on waiting until the next time we manage to get out of the house."

She laughed at that. "Good to know."

She finished the eggs and toast and handed me the plate back.

"Pancakes, please."

I put a few pancakes on the plate and handed her that along with a small jug with syrup.

"Yum," she said, pouring syrup over the pancakes.

"I thought you weren't eating stuff like that?" I reminded her. She'd been staying away from a bunch of different kinds of food since the twins had been born, one of them being pancakes, to get back into shape. But maybe she had given up on that too, now that she had finally realized that she still looked amazing.

"It's Sunday," she replied, shrugging. "I've decided that I can indulge myself a little a couple of times a week. "Besides…" she winked at me, "I plan on working off all these calories anyway."

I didn't have to ask what she had in mind; the look in her eyes said everything I needed to know. I leaned in and captured her lips, kissing her hard.

"Oops," she said when I pulled away. "You made me spill!"

I had; some of the syrup that had been meant for the pancakes on the plate had ended up on her hand. Slowly, my eyes never leaving hers, I reached out and took the plate and jug out of her hands and put them back on the tray next to me. Then I lifter her hand to my lips and licked the syrup off.

Her eyes slid closed and she bit her lip, then took one, deep, ragged breath. I moved closer, continuing up her arm, to her shoulder, neck.

"Still hungry?" I mumbled against her skin, and felt her shiver a little.

"The pancakes will still be there," she replied breathlessly. "But you might want to move the tray."

Reluctantly, I pulled away from her and moved the tray to the safety of the floor next to the bed. When I turned around, she was kneeling on the bed right in front of me, the sheet pooled around her hips.

"I think…" she started as she reached out and tugged on the knot keeping my robe in place until it came undone "…that it's my turn to be in charge now."

I swallowed hard as she moved closer, slipping the robe off my shoulders.

"Whatever you want," I managed to get out, and she smiled.

"Good."

The robe out of the way, our bodies were pressed together, skin to skin. I let my hand trail up her back, following her spine, and then pulled her face, her lips, to mine. The kiss was slow, lazy, both of us still a little drowsy.

My hand was tangled in her hair, and after a moment, I tugged on it gently, pulling her head back. I heard her sigh a little as I kissed the skin on her neck and shoulders, but then she pulled away from me. I was about to ask what was wrong when she pushed me down on the bed, moving so she hovering above me, one leg on either side of my hips. I tried to reach for her, pull her down on top of me, but she kept a few inches between our bodies, only our lips touching, and after just a moment, she slipped away from me.

"What are you doing?" I asked, a little impatiently, when she leaned over the side of the bed.

She didn't answer me, instead reappeared with the jug filled with syrup in her hand and a suggestive smile on her face.

I watched as she put her finger into the jug, then withdrew it and licked the sticky substance off. I had already been more than ready for her; now I felt an almost painful throb and had to force myself to stay on my back and not flip her over and… I shook my head to avert my thoughts, knowing that this would be over much sooner than I wanted it to be if I didn't.

"Want a taste?" she asked, looking up at me innocently and swirling her finger around the jug for a moment before placing her fingertip against my bottom lip. I pulled her finger into my mouth, tasting her under the sweet syrup, and heard her suck in a quick breath. Good. Two could play this game.

But she didn't seem to be ready to admit defeat, because she withdrew her finger from my mouth and raised the jug over my chest.

"The bed'll get all sticky," I told her unnecessarily.

"Good thing we're not the ones who will have to clean it up then, don't you think?" she replied, tilting the jug a little.

The syrup wasn't really cold at all, but I still shivered a little as it made contact with my skin. When she was satisfied with the amount of syrup, she put the jug down on the bedside table and leaned down. Her eyes remained on mine as she licked the substance off my chest.

"Mmm," she mumbled, coming up for a kiss. I could taste the syrup on her tongue, and it made her taste even sweeter than usual.

I tried to hold her there, but she pulled away again, reaching for the jug. This time, she didn't settle for just my chest; she poured syrup on the upper part of my stomach as well. As her tongue swirled over my ribs, I realized I was holding my breath, waiting for her to go even lower.

She didn't. Not yet.

The kiss lasted longer this time. Again, I tried to hold her there. Tried to pull her body down against mine, hoping it would get her to give in to the desire I knew she must be feeling too. But she was determined, and pulled away from me again.

I was amazed that the small jug could have held as much syrup as it had when she poured more over my entire upper body. She took her time, making sure she had gotten every last drop of it, and I was starting to feel like I might explode just from anticipation. When I finally felt, first her hand, then her lips, around me, I ground my teeth together. I did not want this to be over already.

She had some syrup on her lips; I could feel the sticky substance against my skin. Her mouth was hot, wet around me, moving up and down, up and down.

I could have easily just let go, but I wanted more than even this. With more self control than I would have thought I possessed, I managed to pull her away from me.

She looked up at me, breathing hard.

"What did I do?" she wondered, her eyes questioning, anxious.

"Much more than should be legal," I replied, my voice hoarse. "Come here."

Slowly, as if deliberately trying to tease me, she crawled up my body until we were face to face.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to have pancakes with syrup without blushing again," she said, glancing over at the bedside table where she had put the jug.

"That makes two of us."

I pulled her lips down to mine, kissing her hungrily. I felt her hand around me, and then her heat enveloped me.

It wasn't slow and sweet like last night; it was hurried and rough and urgent. And all consuming. The hotel room around us disappeared, lost all meaning. We could have been anywhere; it wouldn't have made a difference. The only thing I could focus on was her; her lips against mine, her hands against my chest, her skin under my fingers, her wet, soft heat around me. Nothing else mattered.

Soon – too soon, it seemed like, I never wanted this to end – I could feel that I wouldn't be able to last much longer. I tried to draw it out, thinking about anything but how it was like being inside her, but when I felt her muscles clench around me and her nails digging into my skin, I let go and fireworks erupted inside me.

I felt her collapse on top of me and almost automatically wrapped my arms around her, as if trying to pull her even closer. For a while, we just lay there, both breathing hard.

She was the first to recover, after a long moment, pulling away from me a little.

"Now I'm all sticky too," she complained without sounding too upset about it.

I let one hand trail down her body, from her shoulder to her hip bone, and realized she was right. We were both covered in syrup residue.

"A shower might be a good idea," I agreed.

"Want to see if we both fit?" she asked, running her lips along my jaw. I felt something stir inside me again, despite the recent release, and pulled her lips to mine, kissing her hungrily. I really couldn't get enough of her.

I tried to sit up on the bed without having to pull away from her, out of her, but she slipped away from me, laughing.

"I think I prefer walking," she said, getting up from the bed. "Not that my legs are all that cooperative right now."

I stood up and grabbed her hand, realizing that my legs, too, felt a little like jelly at the moment. I pulled her to me, kissing her again. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and, somehow, we made it into the bathroom and the shower tightly locked in the embrace.

The last coherent thought that went through my mind was that it was a good thing I had put the 'Do not disturb' sign on the door.

**AN: I got a few complaints on chapter 13 that there wasn't enough lemon. I hope this chapter made up for that and for leaving you hanging with the last chapter! **


	31. 31 Reviews and Teething

**AN: More than 500 reviews – you guys are the best!!! I could probably drag this story out for a long time – there's an entire life to write about, after all – but it's starting to feel like it's coming to an end. Right now, I'm planning one more chapter after this one, and I think that will be it. But, who knows, I probably won't be able to stay away completely! Anyway, on with this chapter, hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own then, never said I did. Just borrowing a little, as always.**

**31 – Reviews and Teething**

**Edward**

It was an odd feeling when we left the hotel room a little before noon on Sunday. On the one hand, I really didn't want to leave, and was already looking forward to the next time Bella and I would be able to get away for some alone time. On the other hand, I couldn't wait to get home to Lily and the twins.

We got home to a clean house – another benefit of leaving my mom in charge – and three happy kids. In the living room, Lily had somehow managed to rope Carlisle into dancing with her on the Wii. Charlie was watching them from the couch with an almost smug expression on his face that made me think that he too had – more or less voluntarily – made an attempt.

"Hey guys," Bella greeted the three of them when I closed the front door behind us.

Lily only glanced away from the TV for a brief moment.

"Hi mom, hi dad," she said, her eyes returning to the instructions on the screen and focusing on her dance.

I raised an eyebrow at her disregarding greeting.

"Is that the only hello we get when we've been gone since yesterday?" I questioned, and she reluctantly hit the 'Pause' button.

"Hi dad," she repeated in an annoyed tone, coming over to give me a hug; it wasn't as brief as I expected, considering her tone of voice, and contradicted her reluctant greeting. "Hi mom." She gave Bella a long hug as well and then returned to the game.

"Did you have a good time?" Charlie asked from the couch. Bella turned away from him, heading in the direction of the kitchen and leaving me to answer the question. I saw the color on her cheeks before she disappeared, and sighed.

"It was great," I replied. "Nice food at the restaurant last night, getting to sleep without having to worry about being woken up, room service. But it's still good to be home."

Charlie laughed at that.

"Maybe you should go say hi to your mother," he suggested. "She's been a little worried, since you haven't called this morning. She was going to call you herself, but Carlisle managed to convince her not to."

Carlisle shot me a quick look and shrugged.

"I'll go do that."

I left the living room and went into the kitchen, where Esme and Sue were making lunch. Bella was sitting at the kitchen table with Masen and Emma was in her bouncer on the floor. I picked her up, a sense of relief washing over me when I felt her warm little body in my arms. Maybe I wouldn't worry about them as much when we left them in the future, but I would still miss them immensely.

"Did you miss us, angel?" I wondered.

"Uuuuaaah!" she replied, smiling up at me, and Bella, Esme and Sue laughed.

"I think that's a 'yes'," Bella concluded.

"But they've been good?" I addressed the question to Esme and Sue.

"They've been perfect angels," Esme assured me. "They both slept all night, believe it or not. Masen woke up a little before seven and Emma about ten after."

"Really?" Bella said in a surprised voice. Emma was the one who had been sleeping through the night the most in the past couple of weeks, but whenever Masen had managed to do the same, she had woken up at some point. This was the first night they had both slept through at the same time.

"Progress," I noted.

"It was bound to happen sometime," Bella pointed out.

"True."

We fully expected that night to be an exception, but, to our surprise, both Emma and Masen started sleeping through almost every night only a little more than a week later.

xxxxx

One day in the beginning of October, I got a somewhat expected call from Joe.

"_Why aren't you coming to the premiere?"_ he asked as soon as I picked up the phone, as usual not bothering with greetings.

"Hi Joe," I said pointedly before answering his question. "Because I'm not interested in those kinds of things, you know that."

It had never been an issue before, but Paul had personally invited me to the big premiere in LA a few days later. I had told him that I wasn't very keen on leaving Seattle at the moment, and that I wasn't all that interested in the big commotion surrounding the movie. He had understood, but, of course, Joe had to make a fuss.

"_Still, I would have thought that you'd make an exception just this once,"_ he now insisted. _"It's a big movie."_

"Really?" I said dryly. "I had no idea."

"_Funny. Please, think about it."_

"No, I'm not going."

"_You know, it wouldn't kill you to think about someone else for once."_

I had to take a few deep breaths before I could reply. _I_ had to think about other people?

"I was actually going to offer to give Paul a call and tell him to send you an invitation – I'm guessing that's the issue here? – but now I don't think I will."

"_No, wait, wait. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it the way it sounded."_

"Right."

"_Seriously. Come on, Edward, we're friends, aren't we?"_ That was debatable. _"Help a buddy out."_

"Fine," I surrendered. Anything to get him off my back; I knew he wouldn't stop nagging me until I gave in. "I'll talk to him."

"_I knew I could count on you!"_

"Yeah, yeah."

A couple of days later, I came into the kitchen and found Bella reading the paper at the breakfast table.

"They love it," she said when she heard me enter the room.

"Who loves what?" I asked incredulously, pouring myself a mug of coffee.

"The _critics_ love the _movie_, silly," she elaborated, and I remembered that the premiere had been last night. "And they're ecstatic about the music, they're saying it's a sure Oscar nomination."

"Really?" The truth was that, up until Paul called the other week, I hadn't really thought much about the movie, or my music. Sure, it was always fun to hear that your work was appreciated, but I didn't usually read the reviews. It was what the audience thought that mattered; they were the ones who went to see the movie and bought the soundtrack.

"Of course!" Bella looked up at me like I was crazy, shaking her head. "You're really too modest sometimes, you know."

"I just don't like to count my Oscar nominations before they're announced." Not that there had ever been talk about Oscars with any of the movies I had worked with up until now. This was all new to me.

And, in truth, there were other things that were more important to me right now. Our everyday life was starting to slip into a comfortable routine. The twins eating and sleeping habits were more set, so we could plan things around that. On Tuesday and Friday, I'd pick Lily up from school and we'd do something just the two of us for a couple of hours, leaving Bella with the twins. On Thursday and Saturday, the roles were reversed and I stayed at home with Emma and Masen while Bella and Lily had some girl time, which more often than not meant the mall; it was becoming more and more obvious that Lily had inherited her love of fashion and clothes from her aunt. On Monday, Lily would go home with Catie after school, and Bella and I would make time for some one-on-one bonding with the twins, since we thought it was important to treat them as individuals. On Sunday we went to the playground, so that both Lily and the twins would get out and – so far only in Lily's case, since the twins were a little young – play with other kids.

It's funny how quickly you get used to some things. It had been less than three weeks since both Emma and Masen had started sleeping through the night when we were woken up at two in the morning by Emma's piercing cry. Still, I was more than a little disoriented for a moment before I realized what the sound was. I stumbled out of the bed, rubbing my eyes.

"Got it," I mumbled to Bella, who had thrown the cover aside and was about to get up. "Go back to sleep."

She slumped back against her pillow as I left the room, pulling the cover back up. I opened the door to the nursery, where Masen, somehow, was still fast asleep while Emma was screaming at the top of her lungs in her crib.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" I picked her up as I spoke, noticing her red face, which was covered in tears. "Are you trying to wake the whole neighborhood up?"

She stopped crying as violently, but didn't calm down completely as I checked her diaper. Perfectly clean and dry.

"Then what's wrong, huh?" I sat down in the rocking chair, cradling her against my chest and moving the chair slowly. She usually liked that.

It did nothing now, however. In fact, after fifteen minutes, she started crying more loudly again. I left the room and went downstairs, not wanting to wake Masen or Lily up.

"Maybe you're thirsty…" I mused out loud, going into the kitchen and filling a bottle with water. This seemed to calm her, at least for the moment, and I sat down on the living room couch with her while she sucked on the bottle.

I leaned my head against the back of the couch for a moment, closing my eyes. It was odd how I had already managed to suppress what it was like getting woken up in the middle of the night like this.

She didn't start crying again when she had finished the bottle, and I took that as a good sign.

"Time to go back to bed, angel?" She just looked up at me in response, a few tears still lingering in her lashes, her eyelids heavy.

I got up and climbed the stairs, going back into the nursery and putting her down in her crib. This, however, she didn't like one bit. As soon as I had put her down, she started crying again. Worried that she'd wake Masen, I picked her up again and went back downstairs.

This time, she wasn't as easily calmed. Though she didn't cry at the top of her lungs, she kept up a constant whining. I tried with another bottle, her pacifier, the bouncer, all without success. I changed her diaper – not that there was anything in the one she was wearing – and even got another set of pajamas, but that didn't work either.

By four o'clock, I was getting desperate. She was exhausted, I was exhausted, and nothing I did seemed to calm her down at all.

"Please, just give me a hint," I mumbled, rubbing her back as I stood by the living room window and watched the darkness outside. "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

Suddenly, I realized that maybe she was sick. She didn't have any cold symptoms, but maybe there was something else. I tried to determine whether or not she was warm, but couldn't be sure. Quietly, I climbed the stairs again and found the ear thermometer in a cupboard in the bathroom. 99.2. It wasn't very high, but still not completely normal.

I tried to remember whether or not Carlisle was on call tonight, but my mind, which had now started to panic a little, draw a blank. I decided to try his number at the hospital; if he was there, he would either pick up or get back to me as soon as he saw that I had called and if he wasn't… I'd try to google before either waking Bella up or calling my parents at home.

I was in luck; he picked up after the second ring.

"_Doctor Cullen."_

"Dad, hi."

"_Edward, what's wrong?"_ I could hear the fear in his voice, and hurried to reassure him.

"Nothing, I don't think, but I wanted to check to make sure."

"_You scared me there for a moment."_ He let out a relieved sigh. _"What's going on?"_

"Well, Emma woke up about two hours ago, and I can't get her to go back to sleep. It seems like there's something bothering her, but I can't figure out what. And she has a bit of a fever."

"_How high?"_

"Just 99.2, so it's not high at all."

"_And nothing you do seems to make a difference?"_

"Well, I gave her a bottle of water earlier, and that helped for a little while, but after that, nothing."

"_Does she have any symptoms of a cold; runny nose, coughing, anything like that?"_ he asked.

"No, nothing," I replied. "What do you think it could be?"

"_Well, there are really a number of possibilities, but I don't think you need to worry, whatever it might be. Her temperature is pretty low, just keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get higher. And if it doesn't pass in a couple of days, take her to see a doctor."_

"OK." It felt a little better to have gotten a professional opinion.

"_Wait, do you know if she's started teething yet?"_

"Teething?" I hadn't considered that possibility. "No, we haven't noticed anything."

"_That could be it."_ He was silent for a moment. _"Usually, chewing on something helps with the pain from teething. And with some babies, cold water helps, just like you described. I don't suppose you have any teething rings?"_

"No, we haven't even started talking about that yet. Isn't it a little early?"

"_I'm no pediatrician, you know that,"_ he told me. _"I think the average age is around six months, but as early as three months is known to happen. It's very individual from child to child."_

"OK. And is it normal to get a fever?"

"_There's no consensus on that among doctors; some say yes, some no. But I know that both Noah and Ellie got a fever when they were teething, so I would say yes._ _Try letting her chew on your finger; it works almost the same way as chewing rings and chewing toys and should relieve the pain in her gums."_

"OK, I'll try that. Thanks dad."

"_Any time, you know that. Let me know how it works out."_

"I will. Bye."

"_Bye."_

I hung up the phone and sat down in one of the armchairs, putting my feet up on the table. I figured that, if I managed to get her to go back to sleep, I could crash for a few hours here.

"Let's give this a try then, shall we?" I put my pinkie in Emma's mouth, and she immediately started chewing on it – or as much chewing as you can do without any teeth – and stopped fussing.

Within minutes, her eyelids started to droop. When they slid shut, I leaned my head against the back of the armchair and was soon asleep too.

**Bella**

A cry from the baby monitor woke me up, and I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. A little after seven.

I rolled over onto my back, wanting to ask Edward what Emma had been so upset about in the middle of the night, only to find the bed empty.

Had he already gotten up?

I pulled on a pair of sweat pants and left the room. When I entered the nursery, Masen stopped crying and looked up at me with a big smile on his face. Emma's crib was empty.

"Where's your sister, huh?" I asked Masen as I picked him up, only getting another smile and some gurgling in return. I changed his diaper before going downstairs in search of my missing husband and daughter.

I found them in one of the armchairs in the living room, both fast asleep. Softly, I nudged Edward's shoulder, and his head jerked up.

"What are you doing down here?" I wondered, gesturing to the armchair.

"Oh, yeah." He rubbed his eyes. "I think she might be teething. She wouldn't stop crying, and after a while, I checked her temperature, which was a little high. So I called Carlisle, and he said that that might be it. She seemed better when she got to chew on my finger, too."

"Teething?" I sat down on the couch. Lily hadn't started teething until she was almost seven months old. "That's a little early."

"That's what I thought too. But Carlisle said that it can happen as early as three months."

"Huh." I saw the ear thermometer on the table. "Have you checked her temperature this morning?"

"No, hang on." He took the device and put it in Emma's ear. "It's gone down a little, 98.9. It was 99.2 at four. Carlisle said to take her to the doctor if the fever didn't go away in a couple of days."

"Maybe we should get some teething rings, then," I concluded. "Lily never needed any; I didn't even notice that she was teething until there was an actual tooth. But I guess that's different from child to child."

"Probably." He yawned.

"Go up to bed; you can't have slept very well in that thing."

"I have to take Lily to school," he objected, getting up out of the armchair.

"I'll do that," I countered. "Emma looks like she'll be out for a while; I'll just feed Masen and then I'll take him with me."

"Are you sure?" He hesitated by the stairs, not sure whether to go up them or into the kitchen.

"I'm sure. Go get some sleep."

He gave me a grateful smile before climbing the stairs and disappearing from view.

That night, Emma didn't want to go to sleep at all. She cried at the top of her lungs as soon as we put her down, and only seemed comfortable when she got to chew on the new teething ring in either my arms or Edward's. At midnight, I told him to get some sleep, and that I would wake him up in a couple of hours.

I went downstairs and sat with her on the couch, turning the television on to some sitcom. We both dosed a little, but she didn't really fall asleep until three thirty, when she seemed too exhausted to stay awake any longer.

I didn't dare put her down, so instead I moved to the armchair Edward had slept in last night and fell asleep almost instantly.

When this continued for a third night, we decided that we needed to do something. I had read on the internet that some children needed more than just the traditional teething rings and toys while teething, so we called our pediatrician and got an appointment that afternoon. He checked Emma out thoroughly before concluding that she was indeed experiencing pain from teething and telling us that we could apply a gel that was supposed to ease the pain on her gums and, as a last resort, give her Infant Tylenol.

Luckily – I didn't really like the idea of giving her Tylenol – the gel worked.

"Thank God," I said as Edward and I crawled into bed that night. Both Emma and Masen were sleeping soundly in their cribs.

"I second that," he agreed, yawning. "I'm not sure we would have been able to take another night like that."

"We probably shouldn't jinx it," I pointed out. "Masen might have just as much trouble."

Edward groaned. "Don't even talk about it."

But Masen seemed to take after Lily; we hadn't even noticed that anything was going on when I saw a tiny tooth one day in the beginning of December. Since Emma's trouble with the teething process had continued on and off for the past two months, I let out a sigh of relief.

"One out of two isn't bad," I said to Edward, who was feeding Emma next to me on the couch.

"One out of two what?" he wondered.

"His first tooth," I explained, pointing at the tooth, which was visible when Masen smiled.

"Aha." Edward looked down at Emma, who had just decided that she'd had enough to eat and had pushed the bottle aside. "Your brother has it easy, doesn't he?"

"Da!" she exclaimed in response, and he looked up at me.

"Did you hear that?" he asked, astonished. "She almost said 'dada'."

"I heard." I smiled to myself as he focused back on Emma.

"Come on, one more time. 'Da'!"

"Ba!"

"No, not 'ba', 'da'!"

"Ba!"

**Edward**

It seemed like, literally, time started flying by. Before I had time to blink, Christmas was coming up and the twins were almost six months old.

"Where did the last few months go?" I asked Bella incredulously one day in the middle of December when the kids were in bed and we were watching TV. "Wasn't it July just the other day?"

She laughed at that.

"I think it has something to do with having babies in the house," she told me. "It was the same when Lily was little; it felt like I couldn't keep track of time, it was going by so fast."

I didn't particularly like that answer; I wanted to drag their childhood out as long as possible. I was already documenting everything. Bella had told me that I was worse than even Charlie had been when Lily was a baby, and he had filmed everything. Once, as a joke (or at least I hoped so…) she had said that we should just install surveillance cameras in every room so we wouldn't miss anything Emma or Masen did. But her teasing didn't really bother me; I got everything major that they did on camera, and that was all I wanted.

I tried to keep track of their development on a website where all the milestones were listed. They both seemed to be progressing normally, in some areas even a little faster than normal. They were both rolling over, grabbing things – though Masen seemed much more interested in that than Emma – babbling to themselves and each other more or less constantly, playing with their hands and feet. Emma seemed to be developing quicker than Masen vocally; she was using different vowel-consonant combination, laughing a lot and trying to imitate everything people around her said. Masen, on the other hand, appeared to be a little ahead of his sister when it came to certain motor skills; he was always reaching for different things and would get very angry if you took something from him, he was sitting up without support and had started making attempts at crawling, even if he so far hadn't been very successful. Still, we had baby proofed the entire house already, wanting to be ready when he did start crawling; outlet plugs, locks on the toilet seat and cupboards in the kitchen and bathroom, corner cushions on the living room table, gates at the top and bottom of the stairs, and no small or breakable objects on any surfaces below three feet.

"Don't worry," Bella said, as if she had noticed my musings. "I know it seems a little scary that they're getting bigger so fast, but there's a lot of fun stuff ahead, too. Walking, talking, and, my very favorite, the defiant age!"

I laughed a little at that.

"Yes, I'm looking forward to that," I replied dryly. "Especially since there's two of them; they'll gang up on us."

She laughed too.

"It wasn't really that bad with Lily, we'll just have to hope that they'll take after her." She shrugged. "And if not… there's two of us as well, you know."

She had a point.

At that moment, the phone rang and I hurried to pick it up before it woke the kids.

"Hello?"

"_Hi darling,"_ Esme's voice came over the line. _"I'm not calling too late, am I?"_

"No, mom, don't worry about it," I assured her. "It's not even ten yet."

"_Oh, good. I just wanted to talk to you about something. First of all, do you think Lily would mind sharing a room with Noah over Christmas?"_

"I can't imagine that she would," I replied honestly. "She'll probably love being the older and getting to help look after him. Why do you ask?"

"_Well, we're trying to solve the sleeping arrangements,"_ she told me, sounding a little worried. _"I know Emmett and Rose would prefer it if Ellie slept in her own room, and I'm sure you and Bella would like some privacy as well, so we thought we'd let Lily and Noah sleep in the room next to ours, and then we'd move the library down here as well, and get four bedrooms on the third floor. What do you think about that?"_

"Mom, you don't have to go out of your way like that. We were counting on the twins sleeping in our room anyway, it's fine."

"_It's fine for now,"_ she corrected me. _"It won't be in a few years, though, and I thought we might as well make new arrangements right away. We figured that when they get older, Emma and Ellie can share a room, and Noah and Masen, and Lily would get a room to herself, since she's the oldest."_

It was true that having five children in the house would probably cause problems in the sleeping department before long; the house was big, but it only had so many bedrooms.

"That does actually sound like a good idea," I agreed. "I'm sure Lily wouldn't mind sharing with Noah for right now, but I'll talk to her tomorrow, just to make sure, and let you know."

"_Good. And you don't mind having her sleep on a different floor? She'll be right next door to us."_

"Of course not, it's fine." It wasn't like she'd be in a different house or anything. "But where are Alice and Jasper sleeping? If you move the library downstairs and Lily and Noah are sleeping down there too, there won't be any room left."

"_The basement is being renovated right now; there'll be two bedrooms down there, it should be finished before everyone gets here. We don't use half the space right now anyway, and it's better to get as much living area out of it as possible."_

Esme really would go the extra mile to get us all to come back to Forks every now and then.

"Were you worried that we wouldn't come up for Christmas?" I asked, knowing that must have been how all these changes had gotten started.

"_Not at all, darling, but I want everyone to be as comfortable as possible,"_ she disregarded in an off-hand tone, but I knew better. _"And you don't have to worry about bringing portable cribs, like we talked about the other day. We'll take care of everything."_

"Mom, you're not decorating the rooms for the kids." I tried to sound stern as I said it. "You might need the guestrooms when we're not there, and there can't be cribs and stuff in there if you do."

"_Nonsense, darling, it'll be fine. We have two more guestrooms, and the new rooms in the basement. Don't you worry about it." _

I sighed, knowing when to give up. Not only did Esme love spoiling her grandchildren, she also loved decorating; combine the two, and you'd never get her to give in. I just hoped Carlisle would keep an eye on her, make sure she didn't go too far overboard.

"OK, mom. Is dad home?"

"_Sure, wait just a moment."_ She covered the phone with her hand and I heard her call Carlisle. _"I'll talk to you soon, and we'll see you in a couple of weeks."_

During the fall, they had come to visit every other weekend, when Carlisle hadn't been on call at the hospital, but after it had started snowing at the end of November, he had managed to convince Esme that it was safer to stay at home. The roads were slippery, and you never knew when it would start snowing. As a result, they wouldn't be coming down to Seattle before we went to Forks for Christmas.

"Talk to you soon, mom."

"_Here's your father."_

"_Hello?"_

"Hi dad. I just wanted to make sure you have the situation under control up there."

"_Oh, yes, I believe so."_

"Mom's right there, is she?"

"_Exactly."_

"OK. But you won't let her go too far, decorating the rooms for the kids? You know how she can get."

"_I am aware of that, yes."_ I could tell that he had to think for a moment longer than usual, trying not to say anything that would tip Esme off. _"But I believe that I will be able to handle it."_

"OK, good, just wanted to make sure that you're keeping an eye on her."

He laughed. _"I'm not sure how much that would help, to be honest."_

I could see his point. "Just make sure she doesn't go over the deep end."

"_I will do my very best."_

"Great. We'll see you next week." Lily would be getting out of school the following Friday, so we were driving up to Forks that afternoon. Since both Rosalie and Jasper had to work the day before Christmas, the others weren't joining us until that evening.

"_See you then."_

"What's Esme up to now?" Bella asked as soon as I had hung up the phone.

"She's moving the library to the second floor, turning the bedroom next to hers and Carlisle's into Lily and Noah's room and the two spare rooms on the third floor into rooms for the twins and Ellie, and Alice and Jasper will be banished to the newly renovated basement."

Bella shook her head.

"I don't even want to think about what will happen when she stops working," she noted. "She'll be redecorating the house once a month."

That wasn't completely unlikely.

When we got to Forks a week later, the basement was finished and the kids' rooms decorated.

"It looks great, mom," I told Esme honestly when she showed us around, and she beamed at me.

"I'm glad you like it."

The holidays were nice and quiet… or, as quiet as it can possibly be with one nine-year-old, one four-year-old, one ten-month-old and two six-month-olds. We had everyone over to the house for dinner on Christmas Eve, and I do mean everyone; Charlie, Sue, Seth, Leah and her boyfriend, Renée and Phil, who were spending the holiday in Forks as well, Angela and Ben, Jacob, Vanessa and Billy. Needless to say, twenty adults and five kids didn't readily fit around the dining table; we had to improvise a little, and, in the end, people were sitting wherever there was room. But everyone had a good time, especially the kids.

On Christmas morning, the kids tore through the usual mountain of presents. I wasn't completely sure how we were going to be able to fit all the new toys that both Lily and Emma and Masen got into the house, but we'd deal with that when we got home.

The day before New Year's Eve, I packed Carlisle's Mercedes full of mine and Bella's bags and the new toys and clothes that the kids had gotten. Lily and the twins were staying in Forks with my parents over New Year's, and Bella and I were going back to Seattle to spend two whole days kid-free. Since the kids and all the things they needed wouldn't fit into Carlisle's car, Bella and I were taking that to Seattle, and Carlisle and Esme would drive down in the Volvo with the kids.

Over the past three months, Bella and I had spent four kid-free nights at a hotel when my parents were visiting, but this was the first time that we would be away from the kids for two consecutive nights. Alice was having a big New Year's Eve party, which was the reason we had decided to let them stay with their grandparents for a couple of extra days. Emmett and Rose were leaving Ellie and Noah in Forks as well, and Renée and Phil were staying at the house to help keep an eye on everything.

"All packed?" Bella asked when I came into the house.

"All packed," I confirmed. "You want to get going?"

"Might as well," she replied, shrugging.

We had already said goodbye to Lily, who was spending the day with Madison, and the twins were taking their afternoon nap, so all that was left was really to leave.

"Call if there's any problem," I told Esme as she and Renée walked us to the door.

"We will, darling," she assured me. "Don't worry."

I had gotten much better at leaving the kids with my parents over the past few months, but I still found the actual _leaving_ part a little difficult. I knew that they would be fine, that they wouldn't even really miss us – they would only be here for two days – but leaving still went against whatever parent-instinct that kicked in the moment you first saw your child.

"OK, we're going." I took a deep breath and opened the door. "We'll call later to say goodnight to Lily."

"I know," Esme said and then they both ushered us out of the house.

"Have fun!" Renée called after us, waving.

"We will!" Bella called back before getting into the passenger seat of the Mercedes.

I started the car and headed down the driveway towards the main road.

"So…" Bella started when we had been driving for a while, "ready for a couple of days of PG-13 fun?"

"So that's why you wanted to leave the kids here; so you could take advantage of me," I teased her.

"Funny." She stuck her tongue out at me. "I was actually referring to the party tomorrow. I don't remember the last time I went to a party that didn't involve either Chuck E. Cheese's, McDonalds, clowns or balloon animals."

I laughed, knowing what she was talking about.

"Though, now that you've brought it up…" She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. "I do plan on taking advantage of you, now that I'll have you all to myself for two whole days."

I liked the sound of that.

**Bella**

Alice and Jasper's apartment was already crowded when we got there at seven thirty on New Year's Eve. I knew most of Alice's friends, but there were quite a few unfamiliar faces in the crowd; I guessed they were from Jasper's job.

"You're here!" Alice exclaimed when she spotted us. She thrust a glass of wine into my hand before giving me a big hug. "Eat, drink, have fun and enjoy being kid-free for a while!"

And, as quickly as she had appeared, she slipped into the crowd and out of sight. I looked up at Edward, who was shaking his head next to me.

"Where she gets all her energy is a mystery to me," he said incredulously.

"I have to agree with you." I glanced around the room and spotted the makeshift buffet. "Come on, I'm hungry."

We had a blast at the party; even Alice's ever-present party games were fun. It felt like I had almost forgotten what it was like socializing with adults and not having to worry about diapers and crying babies. Not that I didn't love my kids, but you need to get some grown-up time every now and then, or you'll go insane.

Alice swept through the room all night, making sure everyone was having a good time, refilling glasses and plates with finger food, and keeping an eye on things in general.

"Having a good time?" she asked a few minutes before midnight, her and Jasper appearing out of thin air with a bottle of champagne. Edward, Emmett, Rose, Angela, Ben and I were standing by the panoramic windows overlooking the bay. People had already started letting off fireworks in Discovery Park, and bright colors filled the night sky outside.

"The best, Alice," I told her, holding up my empty glass to get some champagne.

"I'm glad." She filled my glass, and continued with the others. When she got to Angela's, she covered her glass with her hand.

"I've got my own bubbles," she said, producing a small bottle from her purse.

I frowned at her, grabbing the bottle from her hand. Angela wasn't a big drinker or anything, but she never turned down a glass of champagne, especially not on New Year's Eve.

"What's this?" I asked, eyeing the bottle. "Non Alco… Oh my God!" I cut myself off and threw my arms around her neck. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," she replied with a laugh, hugging me back. "But you're squeezing kind of hard, I'm having trouble breathing."

"Oh, sorry." I quickly let her go and gave a slightly uncomfortable Ben a big hug as well. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

Everybody else seemed to catch up with what was going on, and offered their congratulations. It wasn't until we heard the rest of the partiers start to count down from ten that we realized it was almost midnight.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!" everyone exclaimed together.

"Happy New Year," Edward said a little less loudly, pulling me closer for a kiss.

"Happy New Year," I repeated, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Let's just hope it'll be as good as last year was."

**AN: I know, not exactly the right season for a New Year's party, but there you go. Hope you liked it, let me know!!!**


	32. 32 The Best Price of All

**AN: Another chapter for you guys, sorry it took a little longer than usual, I've had a busy week with deadlines on my masters paper. Anyway, time to find out if Edward gets his big break – it's Oscars time! I hope you like it, and let me know what you think!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**32 – The Best Price of All**

**Bella**

"So, I was thinking…" I started when we were having lunch one day in the middle of January. Masen and Emma were in their playpen in the living room, and we could hear them babbling.

"About?" Edward looked up at me.

"About maybe going back to work soon," I continued.

He nodded. "OK."

"I haven't talked to Michelle yet or anything, but I'm sure she'd be happy to let me work from home for a while. At least until the fall, and then I'll probably go back fulltime."

"I think that sounds like a good idea," he agreed. "I was actually thinking about going back to work in the fall, too. Do you think we should start looking into getting a nanny? It would probably be good if we could get someone who could spend some time with them while we're still home, let them get used to it."

"I'm not sure I want to go with a nanny, actually," I told him.

"Why not?" He frowned. "You know that we can afford it, it's not a problem."

"Yeah, I know," I assured him. "And, sure, Lily went to the daycare center when she was little because I didn't really have any other option, but she loved it. And I think it's important that they get to be around other kids. Can we at least look into it?"

"Of course we can. I guess I just didn't really consider it."

"Thank you. And if we don't find a place we like, we'll get a nanny."

Michelle was thrilled that I wanted to start working again, even if it would only be for a couple of hours a day, and from home.

"I've got the perfect 'slow start' campaign for you," she told me when we talked on the phone. "A small, local clothing company that has just gotten started. Nothing too big, and it doesn't have to be done for a while, so you'll be able to work at your own pace, get back in the game little by little."

"That sounds great." Just what I had been hoping for.

"Do you think you could come in for an hour or so sometime next week?" she wondered. "Just to meet with the client and get an idea about what it is they want."

"Sure, no problem."

It felt like I hadn't left at all; I slipped back into my work-routines quickly and more easily than I would have thought. I started out with just two or three hours during the morning; sometimes more when I got wrapped up in what I was doing. Sure, it was a little hard to stay in the office when I heard Emma or Masen crying, but I knew Edward was handling it and would ask for help if he needed it. And it was actually a bit of a relief to have something to do, apart from diaper changes and feedings. I wasn't climbing the walls or anything, but getting a short time-out from all the baby stuff was nice.

"Maybe you should start working a little too?" I suggested to Edward one afternoon about a week after I had started working again. "Ease your way back into it. It might do you some good to get away from the world of diapers and bottles and pacifiers."

He laughed. "I'm good."

I frowned at him. "Now you're making me feel like a bad parent," I complained.

"What? Why?"

"Because you're happy just being home with them. I mean, it's not like I was going crazy, climbing the walls or anything, but now that I've started working again, it feels really good to have something outside all of this," I explained, gesturing to the playpen and bouncers, the discarded pacifier on the living room table in front of us and the few toys that were lying on the floor.

"That doesn't make you a bad parent," he objected. "It just makes you human. And it means that you love your job, which is good, right?"

"I guess." I still felt a little guilty.

"Stop it," he told me sternly, sensing what I was feeling. "You are the most amazing mom in the world, and our kids are lucky to have you."

"You stop it, you're going to make me blush." I already was, as a matter of fact.

"Then you stop feeling guilty when you have nothing to feel guilty about," he countered.

"OK, OK, I get your point."

**Edward**

When January started coming to an end, Joe began calling me pretty much daily, updating me on how the 'Oscar talk' was going in LA.

"You don't have to call me every day, Joe," I pointed out when I started to get tired of him. "And whatever happens will happen. I really don't think there's any point in listening to rumors."

"_Well, excuse me for thinking that you wanted to be kept updated."_ He huffed.

I sighed.

"It's not like it matters what people think, anyway," I tried to reason with him. "The nominations will be out in just a few days, and then we'll know."

"_Aren't you the least bit excited about this?"_

"Of course I am." Though apparently not as excited as he was.

"_You have a funny way of showing it."_

Maybe he was right. I just couldn't get too excited about something that might not even happen.

"Look, I've got to go," I said when I heard a cry from the nursery where Emma was taking her afternoon nap. Bella had taken Masen out for a long walk an hour ago. He had started making a fuss when it was time to take a nap lately, and walking with him usually did the trick, so we took turns doing that.

"_Will you at least promise me that you'll come to the awards if you're nominated?"_ Joe demanded.

"Yes, I will." Not because he wanted me to, of course, but because I knew Bella would never let me skip out.

"_Good."_

I hung up the phone and went into the nursery, where Emma had stopped crying and was intently studying the mobile above her, trying to reach the little plush toys dangling from it.

"Good morning, angel." I picked her up. "Did you have a good nap?"

"Dada!" she exclaimed with a big smile, and I stared at her in amazement.

"Did you say dada?"

"Dada!"

"That's right, angel, dada." I heard the front door open and close, and hurried downstairs. "Guess what she just said?" I asked Bella breathlessly.

"What?"

"Go on, Emma, one more time."

"Dada!"

"See?"

A big smile started spreading on Bella's face. She held her arms out for Emma and I handed her over.

"Is that dada?"

"Dada!"

"Can you say 'mama'?"

"Dada!" Emma replied resolutely, reaching up to grab a fistful of Bella's hair. I laughed.

"I guess she doesn't have the whole 'who's who' down yet," I concluded. "But it's a good place to start."

xxxxx

On the twenty-eighth, we were woken up earlier than usual – a little after six – by Masen.

"I'll get him," I mumbled, still half asleep. "You get some more sleep before you have to get up."

Since she had started working from home, Bella had been on a strict schedule; getting up at seven, working from eight to eleven. She said that if she didn't have specific times lined out, she wouldn't be able to focus.

"OK," she replied as I got out of bed. But she sat up and reached for the remote control on the bedside table instead.

"What are you doing?" I asked, pulling on a t-shirt.

"I want to check the nominations," she explained, glancing at the clock before turning the television on. "They were released half an hour ago."

I shook my head as I left the bedroom and went into the nursery. Bella was almost as bad as Joe when it came to the Oscars. Not that I wasn't excited – or, right now, more nervous and anxious – but she was much, much worse. I had been trying to tell myself that whatever happened would happen, and that if I did get nominated, it would just be a nice bonus for the work I had put into the music. But, of course, it would be a lot more than that. Still, I had tried not to expect anything, despite all the speculations that all seemed to agree that it was a sure thing. They had been wrong before.

"You don't care about silly things like awards, do you?" I said to Masen as I changed his diaper. "You're concerned about more important things, like food and sleep and playing. A much healthier outlook on life."

Since the likelihood that he would go back to sleep was about zero, I took him with me back into our bedroom. When I entered the room, Bella quickly turned the TV off.

"You're up early today, mister," she said, holding her arms out for Masen. I studied her carefully as she let him 'jump' on the bed; he loved it.

"So?" I pushed when she didn't say anything.

"So what?" She looked up at me, putting on an innocent face.

"Oh." I nodded, taking a deep breath and then letting it out. "It's fine, I wasn't really expecting it, anyway."

"And that just shows how you underestimate yourself, because you totally got it!" She got out of the bed and moved Masen to her hip to be able to give me a hug. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist teasing you a little."

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously. "I really got a nomination?"

"Two," she corrected. "Both 'original score' and 'original song'. _For you_."

"Wow." I slumped back down on the bed, trying to wrap my mind around it.

"The movie got ten altogether, so no big surprise there," she continued, sitting down next to me.

"The big surprise is why Joe hasn't called yet." I reached for my cell on the bedside table. It was on, and there were no missed calls.

"Do you think he's actually developed a sense of respect for other people's privacy?" Bella asked, sounding like she was about to start laughing. "I never thought I'd see the day."

Neither had I.

"I think it's more likely that he's still asleep," I concluded. "Maybe it's time to get him back for all the times he's called at all hours of the day…" I flipped through the phone book until I found his number and hit 'Call'.

"_Mmmgah."_

"Good morning to you too." I had to suppress a laugh.

"_Good… are you insane? It's six in the morning!"_

"You're exaggerating." I glanced at the clock. "It's six twenty-two."

"_And why are you calling at six _twenty-two_ in the morning?"_

"I thought you'd be up." Messing with Joe was one of my very favorite pastimes.

"_And why on earth would I be up at six twenty-two in the morning? Unlike you, I don't have two alarm clocks sleeping in the next room."_

"True… so you haven't watched the news yet?"

"_No, I haven't watched… shit, I forgot."_ I heard him stumble out of bed and laughed.

"_You_ forgot? Aren't you the one who's been calling every day, reminding me?"

"_Yeah, well, I'm not exactly on top of things at six in the morning."_

No kidding?

"_So? Did we get it?"_

"We?" Sometimes – not very often, but sometimes – he still surprised me. We?

"_OK, fine, you. But don't forget who helped you get where you are today. Who knows where you'd be if it wasn't for me."_

I supposed I could give him that much… at least this early, when I wasn't in the mood to argue with him.

"I'm guessing that you've already turned on your computer and…"

"_Yes!"_ he interrupted me, and I held the phone a few inches from my ear to avoid going deaf. _"I knew it! What did I tell you?"_

"Yeah, yeah, you said it all along." I had to hand it to him; he had been completely convinced that I'd get nominated ever since the movie came out.

"_Though I have to admit; I didn't expect both categories,"_ he confessed. _"I mean, there were some seriously good songs out there last year. That one in that animated movie was great."_

"Since when do you watch animated movies?" I asked incredulously.

"_I watched my niece one day a couple of months ago; she dragged me to it."_

Who in their right mind would leave a kid with Joe? The man could kill a cactus, for Christ's sake!

"_So this means we'll see each other soon!"_ he concluded, and I groaned. Right, I had promised to go to the gala if I was nominated. I must have been temporarily insane when I agreed to that. _"You are coming, right? You said you would!"_

"Yeah, we'll be there." Bella looked up at me and smiled as I said it. For someone who claimed she didn't like being the center of attention, she sure was looking forward to a public appearance with a little too much excitement.

"_Great. Now, I'm going back to bed. And if you ever call me at this ungodly hour again, I will have you blacklisted with every major movie producer and director in Hollywood."_

"It was nice talking to you too."

"So we're going to LA?" Bella asked as soon as I had hung up the phone.

"I guess we are." I sighed.

"Oh, come on, it'll be great!" she tried to encourage me. "Be a little excited!"

"You do realize that this will involve a red carpet and paparazzi?" I pointed out.

"Oh, please," she disregarded. "They'll be too interested in all the hot movie stars to pay any attention to us. And, besides, it's one night."

She did have a point.

"OK, I am going to try my best to be excited," I promised.

"Good." She glanced at the clock. "It's already nine thirty in Florida, I'm going to call Renée, she is going to be so excited!"

"Come on, buddy, how about you and I get some breakfast while your mom starts spreading the word." I picked Masen up and left the bedroom, heading down the stairs. "Can you say 'Oscar nomination'?"

All I got in return was a laugh.

**Bella**

"We should book plane tickets, right?" I said as I came into the kitchen half an hour later. Like I had suspected, Renée had been thrilled.

"Huh?" Edward looked up from the bowl of baby cereal he was trying to get Masen to eat. "Yeah, I guess so."

I studied him for a moment before sitting down opposite him at the table.

"Why aren't you more excited?" I wondered.

"Now you sound like Joe," he told me with a smirk.

"Oh, the horror! But, seriously. This is a big deal. Why aren't you thrilled?"

"I am, honest." He shrugged. "I guess that, with everything that's happened in the last few years, I've just come to realize that there's more to life."

"Of course there is." I watched him smile as Masen swatted at the spoonful of cereal and resolutely turn his face away. "But that doesn't mean you can't be excited about this."

"I. Am. Excited," he said each word slowly. "I'm just not as obvious about it as you and certain other people. And if I don't win, it won't be the end of the world."

"Is that what it's about?" I thought I saw the direction his mind was going. "You don't think you'll win, so you don't want to get excited?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. I mean, a nomination is huge in itself. And I honestly don't see why I'm any better than the others that are up for the award."

"Maybe you're not."

He looked up at me with an incredulous expression on his face.

"Thanks for that vote of confidence!"

"Oh, come on. It's music we're talking about; who can say what's better than something else? It's all about preference and stuff like that." I reached over the table and took his hand in mine. "I don't know the other composers that have been nominated, and I haven't heard all the music. But I know you, and I know your music, and you _do_ deserve this. So, please, be a little excited, will you?"

A smile started spreading on his face as I spoke, and when I finished, he leaned over the table to give me a kiss.

"Thank you," he said when he pulled back. "I think that maybe I needed to hear that."

"Glad to be of service."

I got up and turned the coffee machine on before getting a box of waffles from the freezer.

"Celebratory breakfast," I announced, popping two waffles in the toaster and getting the syrup out of the fridge. "I'll go wake Lily up."

I climbed the stairs and went into Lily's room. She was asleep, curled into a ball under the covers. I turned the lamp on her bedside table on and then shook her shoulder.

"Time to get up, baby."

"Mmm-mmm."

"Come on, there's waffles for breakfast." That usually got her attention, and it didn't fail this time.

"But it's Tuesday," she said, sitting up in the bed and rubbing her eyes. "We only have waffles on the weekend."

"We're celebrating," I told her.

"What are we celebrating?"

Before I could answer, Emma announced that she was awake from the nursery.

"Get dressed and go downstairs and ask your dad," I told Lily. I knew he'd want to tell her himself. "I'll be down in a minute."

"OK." As I left the room, she jumped out of bed.

"Good morning, sunshine," I said as I picked Emma up out of her crib.

"Mama," she replied, and I smiled. Only a day or so after she said 'dada' for the first time, she had started saying 'mama' as well. She didn't differentiate between me and Edward, however, using 'mama' and 'dada' for both of us, but it was still an amazing feeling when she said it.

"Today is a big day for dada, so we're going to be extra nice today, right?"

"Dada."

"That's right."

I changed her diaper before I went downstairs, where Lily was gulfing down waffles at the table.

"Hungry, are we?" I asked as I passed her.

"We're going to the Bug Safari today," she replied in between bites.

"Right." I knew that; I had just been a little distracted by the morning's events. "Well, make sure you don't bring any creepy crawlies home with you. I don't want some huge, foreign cockroach taking up residence in the basement."

She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Can I come to the big Oscars party in LA with you?" she asked, quickly changing the subject and taking me off guard. I shot Edward a pointed look, hoping that he had come up with some good reason why she wouldn't be able to go with us.

"I'm sorry, princess, but we only get two tickets," he lied smoothly.

"That sucks," she grumbled. "I want to go too."

"Maybe you and aunt Alice and aunt Rosalie can have your own glamorous party here?" I suggested, knowing that neither Alice nor Rosalie would mind shopping for something fancy, even if they would only get to wear it around the house.

"I guess," Lily agreed, still sounding a little disappointed. Then the look on her face brightened. "Can we go shopping for dresses this weekend?"

"Sure we can." I didn't normally like shopping that much, but it might be fun to get to go all out for once. "I'll call Alice and Rose later today and make sure they can come with us."

"Great!" She stuffed the last piece of waffle into her mouth and jumped off the chair. "I go gress."

"Don't speak with food in your mouth," Edward told her.

She swallowed loudly. "I'm going to get dressed."

"Better."

She hurried out of the room and a moment later we heard her climb the stairs.

"Shopping with Alice _and_ Rosalie?" Edward questioned. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

I laughed. "Normally, I would ask you to lock me up until I came to my senses," I admitted. If I usually didn't like shopping, I hated shopping with both Alice and Rosalie; they always ganged up on me. "But I think I'll need their fashion expertise to pick out something fabulous for the party."

"Since when do you care about what you wear?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Excuse me?"

"OK, that came out sounding a little different than it did in my head. I just meant, since when do you want Alice and Rosalie to help you pick out something to wear?" he explained. "You usually don't care what they, or anybody else, think about stuff like that."

"I know." I shrugged. "But this is different. Do you know how many people watch the Oscars?"

He buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"I was actually trying very hard _not_ to think about that."

"Well, if I have to, so do you," I said with a smirk.

"You're evil."

**Edward**

The weeks between the announcements of the Oscar nominations and the actual gala were surreal, to say the least. All of a sudden, I found myself more or less pulled into the Hollywood world; different magazines and TV-shows wanted interviews, I got at least one call a day from producers that wanted me to do the music for their movies, and once, at the supermarket, I even got to sign an autograph for a teenage boy who told me all about how he wanted to compose music one day. Even if it was nice that my work was being acknowledged, I would be glad when life went back to normal again.

We got tickets for a plane leaving Seattle at eleven o'clock the morning of Sunday March second. Since neither of us felt like rushing to the airport after the gala, we also made reservations at a hotel in Los Angeles.

"Ready?" I looked up at Bella's voice and closed my suitcase.

"Yep, let's go."

It was a little after eight, and we needed to get going soon to get to the airport in time.

I grabbed both my suitcase and Bella's and carried them downstairs. Alice and Jasper, who would be staying with the kids while we were in LA, were already there, watching TV with Lily in the living room.

"OK, we're heading out," Bella said as we entered the room.

"I want to go too," Lily complained, slumping back against the couch.

"And miss our super-duper-all-time-most-fun-ever Oscar party?" Alice questioned incredulously. "We have the greatest night ever planned!"

The pout disappeared from Lily's face, but she didn't look much happier.

"Come on, princess." I sat down next to her on the couch. "You'll have a great time with your aunts, much more fun than we'll have, I promise."

"Right."

"Seriously. There's going to be a ton of people, and we'll have to sit there for hours. And we won't get any of aunt Rosalie's special strawberry-chocolate-sauce-marshmallows sundae either."

At the mention of that, one corner of her mouth turned a fraction of an inch up. I had hit one of her soft spots; ice cream always did the trick.

"I guess."

"You'll have to get a ton of pictures of you and your aunts in your dresses, OK?"

She nodded. "I will."

"Good. Now we really have to go." I kissed the top of her head. "Be good for your aunt and uncle, and have the best time tonight, OK? I promise to wave at you if we see any cameras."

She laughed.

"OK."

We said goodbye and were soon in the car on the way to the airport.

"She'll have fun tonight," Bella said after a moment, as if sensing that I worried. "It was just a last effort."

"I know," I agreed. "But you know how I hate saying no to her."

"Practice makes perfect," she pointed out with a smirk. "You can't give her everything she'll ever want."

I knew that. It didn't stop me wishing I could.

At the airport, we quickly checked our luggage and went through security.

"Maybe we should get something for Lily?" Bella suggested. "A souvenir from our trip, to make up for her not being able to come."

"I think that sounds good," I agreed, knowing Lily would be thrilled.

We browsed the different shops, which sold everything from clothes and jewelry to books and toys. Finally, we decided to go with a necklace-earring combination; Lily had been nagging us about getting her ears pierced ever since Catie'd had it done for her tenth birthday last year. I hadn't really liked the idea, but Bella had convinced me to let her do it. We had told her that she'd have to wait until her birthday in May, but we could get her something to look forward to in the meantime.

When we had paid and gotten the little box wrapped, we went to get some coffee before boarding. I had just finished mine when my cell rang, reminding me to turn it off before we got on the plane. I pulled the phone from my pocket and saw that it was Alice.

"Did we forget something?" I asked Bella before answering, but she shook her head. "Hello?"

"_I'm sorry, Edward, I'm so sorry," _Alice's voice came over the line.

I sighed. "What did you do?"

"_I was watching her, I swear, and she was just on the sidewalk, but the car came down the side street and I couldn't…"_ She cut herself off and I heard the sound of sirens in the background.

"What happened?" I asked, feeling like my insides were turning to ice.

There was some sort of commotion in the background and, for a moment, I couldn't catch my breath and it felt like my heart had stopped beating. Then a male voice came over the line.

"_Mr. Cullen?"_

"Yes? Please tell me what's going on."

"_My name is Hank Gilbert, I'm an EMT. Your daughter was injured in an accident a short while ago, and we're on our way to the hospital right now."_

Injured? Accident? The words didn't make any sense.

"What do you mean injured? Is she OK?"

Bella's eyes widened when she heard my words, and she mouthed 'what's going on', but I just shook my head.

"_As far as I can tell, she has a concussion and her left leg is broken. She's awake and coherent, so I'm sure she's going to be just fine, but you might want to come to the hospital."_

I tried to hang on to the fact that she was awake and the EMT's assessment that she was going to be fine, but it was very difficult.

"What hospital?" I stood up as I spoke and Bella did the same, looking even more worried.

"_Swedish at Ballard."_

"Thank you, we'll be right there."

"What's going on?" Bella asked as soon as I had hung up the phone.

"I don't know, but Lily was hurt in an accident," I told her as I pulled her along back towards security, where we should be able to get out. My mind – probably in some sort of effort to focus on something other than the fact that my little girl was hurt and I hadn't been there to keep her safe – was calculating which way would be the best to take to the hospital.

"What?" I heard the same fear I was feeling in her voice.

"The EMT said that he thought she'd be fine, but she probably has a concussion and a broken leg."

"But what happened?"

"I don't know," I repeated, trying to remember what Alice had said. "Alice mentioned something about a car, but she wasn't really making much sense, and the EMT guy just said that there had been an accident."

"Oh my God." Tears started rolling down Bella's cheeks as she said that, and I stopped for a moment.

"She's going to be fine," I assured her, wiping the tears away. "She's going to be fine." She had to be. There was no other option.

xxxxx

We got to the hospital in what must have been record time. For some reason – I wasn't sure why, since it should have been the last thing on my mind right now – I reflected on the fact that it was a good thing that we hadn't met any cops on the way there, since I would have lost my license for good if we had.

"Lily Cullen?" I breathlessly asked the nurse sitting behind a desk inside the main entrance. "She was brought in just a little while ago. We're her parents."

"Let me check… yes, she's still in the emergency room, there's a waiting room right back there, the doctor will be with you in a moment." She pointed down a hallway to the right, and we hurried in the direction she had indicated; not that I had any intention of waiting there.

I spotted Alice as soon as the doors opened. She was pacing the floor, back and forth, back and forth, her face streaked with tears. When she saw us, she started crying again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed into my shoulder as I hugged her. "I was right there, I promise, but I didn't see the car until it was too late."

"It's OK," I tried to comfort her. "It wasn't your fault. Where is she?"

"They just took her to radiology a minute ago, they wouldn't let me go with her. The doctor said that she has a mild concussion and probably a broken leg."

I pulled her along to a row of five empty, plastic chairs. Bella sat down on my other side, taking my hand. I squeezed it in what I hoped was a calming way. It was all I could do right now, considering the fact that I was far from calm myself.

"What happened?" I asked Alice when she had stopped sobbing. She took a deep breath.

"She wanted to ride her bike, since there wasn't any snow for the first time in weeks, and I said that it was fine as long as she wore her helmet and stayed on the sidewalk. I went out into the front yard with her, anyway, to make sure that the pavement wasn't slippery and that she didn't go too far or into the street or anything." She swallowed and wiped a few tears away. "She was on her way back to the house when this car came from the side street right in front of her. I don't know if the driver was drunk or something, but he ran onto the sidewalk and hit her. I barely had time to react."

"But she was wearing the helmet?" Bella piped in, her voice laced with anxiety.

"Of course!"

"Then she'll be fine." I said it to convince myself just as much as them.

"That's the doctor that examined her," Alice said, pointing at a middle aged man that had just entered the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, I assume?" he said, stopping in front of us.

"Yes, how is she?" My hands balled into fists as I waited for him to answer.

"She's going to be just fine," he assured us with a comforting smile. "She does have a mild concussion, and her left leg is most likely broken, but it could have been much worse."

I didn't even want to think about that.

"We're getting x-rays of her leg right now, and then we'll probably put it in a cast. There are no signs of internal bleeding, but we're going to keep her here until tomorrow morning, just to be on the safe side."

"Thank you." I slumped back against the wall, closing my eyes. She was fine.

"Can we see her?" I heard Bella ask next to me.

"I'll send someone to get you as soon as she's out of radiology," the doctor promised. "And just ask for me if you have any questions, I'm doctor Langdon."

"Thank you." I waited until he had left before asking Alice if she had called our parents.

"No, just you," she replied, sounding a lot calmer. "I don't know if Jasper has, though."

"I'll call him at the house, check." I pulled my cell from my pocket, noticing that my hand was still shaking. The initial terrifying, mind numbing fear was gone, but I wouldn't relax completely until I had seen Lily for myself and could make sure she was OK. "I don't think we should call mom and dad until we get home tomorrow, you know how mom will react."

Alice nodded. "Probably a good idea."

I hit the speed dial and waited for Jasper to pick up.

"_Hey man, how is she?"_

"She's going to be fine," I said, feeling the relief wash through me again as I said the words. "Broken leg and a concussion, and they're keeping her over night. You didn't call our parents, did you?"

"_No, I thought it would be better to wait, at least until I knew more,"_ he replied.

"Good call. We're going to wait until we get home tomorrow."

"_Probably smart."_

"How're things at the house? They giving you a run for your money?"

He laughed. _"No, it's fine, don't worry."_

"I'll see if I can get Alice to leave and go back to…" I cut myself off as Alice started shaking her head vigorously. "OK, maybe not right now."

"_She's feeling really guilty,"_ he told me. _"Try to make her realize that it wasn't her fault, would you? I talked to the cops who showed up, and the guy driving the car was definitely drunk or high or something."_

"I'll do my best." I tried to control the anger that was bubbling inside me as I thought of the guy who had been driving the car. I hoped the cops had locked him up somewhere, because if I got my hands on him… I took a deep breath, remembering that Jasper was on the other end of the line. "And if you need reinforcements, call Ben and Angela. They need to practice, anyway."

"_I will. Give Lily a kiss for me, OK?"_

"OK, bye."

"Does he have everything under control?" Bella asked when I had hung up the phone.

"Yeah, he said that everything was fine," I assured her, squeezing her hand again.

"Maybe I should call Ang, ask her and Ben to head over there anyway," she suggested.

"You do that." I nodded. "I told him to call them if he needed a hand, but he might not want to admit defeat."

Bella laughed weakly at that and then dug around her purse until she found her phone. When she put it to her ear, I turned to Alice.

She had pulled her legs up and was hugging her knees to her chest. I put my arm around her and pulled her head onto my shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault," I repeated quietly and felt her shake her head.

"I should have been keeping a better eye on her," she insisted.

"You can't do that all the time," I reasoned; it was something that Bella had said to me a couple of years ago, when I had been reluctant to let Lily out of my sight for too long, worrying about all kinds of things that could happen to her. "These things happen. It could just as easily have happened when we were there. It wasn't your fault."

"She was so brave." She looked up at me with a small smile on her lips. "I was the one who panicked; she kept telling me that everything was fine."

That was just like Lily.

"She even said that I shouldn't call you; she didn't want to ruin your big day."

Right. The Oscars. That had completely slipped my mind.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't listen to her." I couldn't imagine being a thousand miles away right now.

"I knew you'd kill me if I didn't call and you found out when you got home tomorrow."

I laughed, surprising myself. "You're probably right."

A couple of minutes later, a nurse came and told us that Lily was out of radiology. We were brought up to the children's ward, where Alice sat down in the waiting room after having made us promise to let her know how Lily was doing. Bella and I followed the nurse to the room Lily had been moved to.

My mind instinctively reacted against the image of my little girl in a hospital bed. She looked so small, so fragile.

"Hey, baby, how are you feeling?" Bella asked, pulling a chair up to the bed and sitting down. I stood next to her; there was only the one chair, and I was afraid that it would hurt Lily somehow if I sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Lily said, tears forming in her eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I told her, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you in pain? Does it hurt anywhere?"

She shook her head.

"The doctor gave me a shot, so it doesn't hurt anymore."

But it had hurt. Of course it had, she had broken a bone, for Christ's sake! I had never done that myself, but I could imagine how much it must hurt.

"Did the doctor tell you what they are going to do?" Bella asked and Lily nodded.

"I'm getting a cast." A smile suddenly spread on her face. "And I can have all my friends at school sign it, like Jordan did last year!"

Bella and I laughed at that. I was glad that Lily, at least, could see the silver lining.

xxxxx

I was in the hospital cafeteria, having lunch – Bella had pretty much kicked me out of Lily's room after she herself had gotten back after getting something to eat – when my phone rang. We had been able to get Alice to leave a little earlier, and she had gone back to the house. She and Jasper were still staying there with the twins tonight, since both Bella and I wanted to stay with Lily in the hospital.

"Hello?"

"_Why weren't you on the plane?"_ Joe's annoyed voice came over the line, and I sighed. I hadn't even thought about calling him.

"I'm sorry, Joe, something's come up and we won't be able to make it."

"_Oh really, something's come up? And what might be more important than this?"_

_He doesn't know,_ I tried to tell myself. _It's just Joe being Joe._

"Lily was hit by a car and has a broken leg and a concussion," I replied, sounding a little more irritated than I had intended. "I'm sorry if it happened at an inconvenient time, but there isn't much I can do about that now."

"_Oh, man, I'm sorry, I had no idea. How is she?"_

"She'll be fine. They're keeping her until tomorrow just to be on the safe side, but the doctor says that she's fine."

"_That's good. Is there anything I can do?"_

His question surprised me a little; it wasn't like Joe to offer to help.

"Not really. Though I guess you could talk to Paul, explain the situation. You'll have to make some sort of arrangements in case…" I couldn't say 'in case I win', but Joe seemed to get it.

"_Of course, we'll take care of it, you just focus on your family."_

I felt a strange kind of gratitude that I had never experienced in relation to Joe before.

"Thanks."

"_Don't even mention it."_

"Still. I have to go now, have fun tonight."

"_I'll try,"_ he replied sarcastically. _"Talk to you soon."_

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and sighed. Joe's call had reminded me that, as much as we might want to, we wouldn't be able to postpone calling my parents until tomorrow. Even if I didn't win tonight – which I was far from convinced that I would – they would wonder when the nominations were announced and I wasn't there. So I called Carlisle's cell phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Dad, hi."

"_Edward, hello. How is Los Angeles?"_

"That's why I'm calling, actually. We're not in LA."

He was silent for a moment.

"_Oh. Why not?"_

"You're going to have to be careful when you tell mom, OK?" I instructed. "I don't want her to freak, because everything is fine."

"_Now I'm getting worried myself. What's going on?"_

"Lily has a concussion and a broken leg," I told him, deciding that it was best to start with the outcome, and not the accident.

"_Is she alright?"_

"Yeah, she's fine." I shook my head, remembering her reaction to the cast earlier. "She's excited about the cast, says that she'll have all her friends sign it at school."

Carlisle laughed.

"_It's good that she can look at it that way, though I'm sure she'll get sick of it soon enough."_

I had no doubt about that.

"_What happened?"_

"She was riding her bike on the sidewalk, and some idiot in a car hit her." I felt the barely controlled anger stirring a little.

"_Then she was lucky,"_ he concluded.

"I know. Anyway, I was hoping you'd tell mom. I don't want to spring this on her over the phone."

"_I will talk to her, though you should expect a call. I doubt she'll take my word for it."_

"Of course she won't."

When I had ended the call, I hurried to finish my lunch and returned to the room. Only a few minutes after I got back, Esme called. She sounded a little less hysterical than I had expected, but still demanded to talk to Lily herself. Lily was only too happy to chat with her grandmother for a while.

Less than an hour later, a nurse came into the room, telling us that Lily was being moved to a private room. I chuckled a little to myself, knowing that Carlisle must be behind it. He had friends at pretty much every hospital in the country. Not that I was complaining; a private room would be much better if we were going to sleep there.

Later that afternoon, Bella went back to the house to check on the situation and get some things for our over-night stay. Lily had asked me to move into the bed with her, and she was lying with her head on my shoulder, listening to _Cinderella_. It had been one of her favorite stories when she was little, and the only one I remembered. Well, at least most of it. Lily helped me out when I skipped something or got something wrong.

When I had finished the story, I heard Lily sigh.

"I'm sorry I ruined your big day, daddy," she mumbled.

"Don't be silly, you haven't ruined anything," I told her. "I'm right where I want to be."

"Can you still win if you're not there?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Sure I can."

"Can we watch it?" There was a TV in a corner of the room. "And have our own gala?"

"Of course, princess."

When Bella got back, I went down to the gift shop and bought snacks and drinks, which I smuggled up to the room. I also got a couple of balloons, some streamers and a plastic tiara for Lily, to make up for her not being able to wear her dress.

"It's perfect," she announced when the balloons and streamers were in place and she had put the tiara on.

I couldn't agree more.

We turned the television on, and the Kodak Theatre came into view.

We had a lot more fun than we would have had if we'd been in LA. Lily told us who she thought should win based on their clothes; the ones with the prettiest dresses always deserved the award. A lot of the time, she was right too.

I wasn't sure exactly when the music awards would be announced, but assumed they would be somewhere in the middle. As the show continued, I got more and more nervous and when the announcer presented the nominated for best original score, I had a hard time staying in the chair.

"_And the Oscar goes to… Edward Cullen for the score to _Always and Forever_."_

All I could do was stare at the screen. Lily was the first who reacted.

"You won, daddy, you won!"

"Wow," was all I could get out as I watched Joe getting onto the stage.

"You did it," Bella said, reaching over Lily's bed to take my hand. "You really did it."

I nodded, not really taking it all in. It would come later, I knew. Right now, it was too overwhelming. I focused on the television where Joe was standing in front of the microphone.

"_I'm accepting this award for my friend Edward, who unfortunately couldn't be here today because of a family emergency."_ He paused and smiled into the camera. _"My thoughts are with you and your family right now, and I hope Lily will feel better soon."_

"He said my name!" Lily exclaimed, pointing at the TV.

"_I know that whatever he would have said if he had been here would have been short and to the point. So on his behalf I thank you. The people behind the movie, the academy, his friends and family. Thank you." _

And with that, he left the stage.

"Joe keeping it short, never thought I'd see that," Bella said with a laugh.

"Me neither." And he hadn't even taken any credit himself.

Then it was time for the _Best original song_ award, and I leaned back in my chair, knowing I couldn't possibly win both.

"_And the Oscar goes to… Edward Cullen, _For You _from_ Always and Forever_!"_

Again, I stared in amazement on the television. This couldn't be happening.

"You won again, daddy!"

I just shook my head, unable to believe it. Again, Joe climbed on stage, but I couldn't focus on what he said. Everything had taken on a slightly surrealistic glow.

Later that night, when everything had sunk in, I lay in the bed that had been brought into Lily's room for us. I really had won. As I watched the face of my sleeping wife and daughter, however, I knew that I had won a long time ago. My prices were much more precious than an Oscar; I had Bella and Lily and Emma and Masen. And with them, I felt like I was winning every day.

**AN: I know, corny movie name. What can I say, I suck at titles! But it was supposed to be a romantic drama, so maybe it should have a corny title. The song title is actually a translation of my very favorite song by Swedish singer/songwriter Lars Winnerbäck, **_**För dig**_**. **

**I was originally planning on continuing this story until the twins first birthday, but this felt like a nice ending. I will probably (OK, almost definitely) continue this story in some way, right now I'm thinking short one-shots of different events and milestones (the main reason for this is that I really want to write about the first time Lily goes on a date…). Let me know if that's something that you're interested in.**

**I want to thank all of you, my lovely readers, for sticking with me on this long and sometimes bumpy road. A very special thanks to those of you who have taken the time out of your day to review – every time I've gotten an e-mail about a new review, it has made my day. At the beginning of this story, I never imagined that it would end at over five hundred reviews! A huge hug to all of you, you are the best readers ever!**


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